Original subtitles

All right, I see two of them about 100 meters.

They're both armed.

All right. Let's make our move.

I'm scared.

Hey, you signed up for this just like we did.

Now, act like a soldier.

Oh! Ah, I think I fell on my gun!

Would you shut up, Screech?

You're gonna blow the whole operation.

He's right.

Let's do this exactly as we planned.

Stay alert. I don't want anybody getting shot.

- All right. Let's go. - Go. Go.

[screaming]

Paint the suckers!

Oh! Oh!

Got you guys!

I can't believe this.

Yeah, well, believe it, pal. You're our ninth kill.

Hand over your weapons, guys,

'cause the red team is the dead team.

All right, get out of here.

[laughs]

Well, according to my calculations, gentlemen,

we have wiped out the entire red team.

All right, blue team!

- Yeah! - Yahoo!

I love paint war.

I love this army stuff.

I could be all that I could be.

Man, this is the best weekend I've ever had.

Well, you know, without a girl.

[laughing] This is great, isn't it?

Really glad you guys came here with me.

Hey, buddy, we wouldn't have it any other way.

I'm just glad you decided to spend your final days as a free man with us.

The three musketeers.

Together for the last time.

Well, next week, you're gonna be an old married man.

Still can't believe it, Zack.

You're only 19.

Think of all the fun you're missing.

Think of all the women you're missing.

Aw, come on, Slater.

I dated practically every girl on the planet.

[chuckles]

There's only one I ever really loved.

Kelly.

I'm not lettin' her get away.

Party's over, fellas.

[laughs]

Hands up now!

All right, you got us.

[laughs] You guys are good.

They're not good. You're stupid.

You and your calculations.

Oh, I'm stupid?

You're the genius who led us into this ambush.

Now, guys, let's not quibble.

Zack, Slater's not stupid.

And, Slater, Zack's no genius.

[both] Shut up, Screech.

Now what did I do?

You did what you always do.

Yeah, you ruin everything.

Yeah, you idiot.

You guys mind? We're playing a war game here.

C'mon, guys, that hurts!

Would you guys cut it out? He's our prisoner.

[grunts]

Oh! Ow, my knee!

Ow, my knee! Aah!

Way to go.

You hurt your own man.

[groans]

What the heck?

Yes! Yes, we did it!

- Yes! - Yes!

Woo! Get out of here.

- Yeah! - Yeah!

Are we bad or what?

Yeah! Too much fun, man.

Let's get back to the camp and celebrate!

All right, guys, but not too long.

I promised Kelly we'd leave for Las Vegas in the morning.

[both] Whipped.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

♪♪ [rock]

♪ Live it up ♪

♪ Live it up ♪

♪ Don't need the look of a millionaire ♪

♪ Takes more than money just to live it up ♪

♪ Don't need "designer" on the things I wear ♪

♪ Takes more than fashion just to live it up ♪

♪ Don't need my home sittin' in Bel Air ♪

♪ Forty room apartment just to live it up ♪

♪ Don't need... ♪

♪♪ [pop]

♪ Those were the days ♪

♪ That won't die down ♪

♪ Those were the days ♪

♪ I still feel it now ♪

Well, here it is.

Bayside High.

Too bad you can't stay in high school forever, huh?

My cousin can.

Flunked algebra three times.

Yeah, we made some history here, didn't we, guys?

112.

That's how many times I was sent to the principal's office.

[chuckling]

18. How many dates I had for one prom.

Well, as impressive as those numbers are, gentlemen,

my record can never be broken.

82.

That's how many lockers I was stuffed into.

You're right, Screech.

That record will never be touched.

♪ Those outrageous days ♪

♪ That won't die down ♪

♪ No, they won't die down ♪

♪ Those were the days ♪

♪ Those were the days, those were the days ♪

♪ I can feel it now ♪

♪ I feel it, I feel it ♪

All right, man, here we are.

Good luck, huh?

See you guys tomorrow.

See ya.

♪ Love those days ♪

♪ I love those days ♪

♪ But I miss those nights ♪

♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah ♪

♪ Whoo, ooh, ooh, ooh ♪

[sighs]

So. You're getting married in Las Vegas.

That's exciting.

Exciting? It's ridiculous, Melanie.

A wedding in Las Vegas?

Who's gonna marry you, some Elvis impersonator?

I don't know why you care, Dad.

You've been against this from the start.

Of course I'm against it, Zack. You're too young to get married.

I don't want you throwing your life away.

I'm not throwing my life away.

I've been in love with Kelly since we were in grammar school.

Why can't you see that this is the real thing?

Son, Kelly is a terrific girl,

and I don't doubt your feelings for each other,

but can't it just wait until after you graduate?

No, Dad, it can't.

We've planned this out.

We have a place off campus. We're both going to work.

You're making a big mistake, son.

Derek, you do not know that.

You know what? If I am making a mistake, at least it's my mistake.

This is my life.

Fine. You do what you have to do.

But leave me out of it.

So, what are you saying?

You're not coming to my wedding?

[sighs forcefully]

[knocking on door]

You okay?

Yeah.

Yeah, I'll be all right.

Why does he have to be like that?

Zack,

your father has always had these great plans for you,

and getting married at 19 is not on his list.

Yeah, but, Mom, what about my list?

Look, Zack, I think you're too young to get married, too.

But if you are truly happy about this,

then that's all that really matters to me.

Thanks, Mom.

So...

So?

Are you gonna be there?

Well, you have my blessings.

I can't be at the wedding, Zack.

I can't go against your father.

So, you need some money?

I'm fine, Mom.

I've got about $1,200.

We can have a nice little wedding with that.

Well, here are two vouchers

for free rooms at the Stardust Hotel.

I won them during poker night at church.

What can I say?

You've always been there for me.

You will always be my little boy,

even though you're all grown up.

Mom.

[Slater] Great car, Lisa.

It's a birthday present from my dad.

[Screech] Has anybody seen my pillow?

[Kelly] It's in the back of Slater's car.

- Here's Zack. - Hey, hey, hey.

- What's goin' on, guys? - What's up, buddy?

- You ready? - Oh, yeah.

Vegas, here we come.

Yeah.

Who do I see over here?

[giggling] Come here.

You know, I just can't take this anymore.

I'm glad we're goin' in separate cars.

Whoa, whoa, whoa. Why we goin' in separate cars?

Well, Kelly and I have a lot of things to talk about.

I still can't believe you're going through with this wedding, Zack.

Well, for your information, Lisa, it is a done deal.

Listen, I just talked to my parents, and they're all excited.

Unfortunately, they can't help us out financially.

Well, at least they're behind us.

My dad thinks I'm crazy.

He's not gonna be at the wedding.

I'm sorry.

Yeah, me, too.

But, hey, I am a mature adult,

and I can make decisions on my own.

Come on, let's go.

Okay, people.

With my computerized trip plan,

our two vehicles should never be more than 50 yards apart.

Now, I've planned our exact route,

fuel stops, and food breaks.

I've also done a little research.

Did you know that the cleanest restroom in California

is actually at a Mobil station in Barstow?

Well, doesn't everybody know that?

Come on, let's do it! Let's go!

I'll miss you.

I will miss you more.

Oh, come on.

Hold up, hold up.

Come on! One more.

Ah, you're killing me.

Okay! Okay, okay.

Let's do it.

♪♪ [rock]

♪ Why don't we see the world together? ♪

Next stop -- Vegas.

♪ 'Cause there's a lot of world to see ♪

♪ And it doesn't matter where we're headed ♪

♪ If you're with me ♪

♪ Yeah, we'll see where the wind will take us ♪

♪ We're flying ♪

♪ To a place that we never knew ♪

♪ Nothing can sink us ♪

♪ This must be ♪

♪ The start of somethin' new ♪

♪ Woo-oo-hoo-hoo ♪

I love weddings. They are so romantic.

Hey, remember when we all dressed up as brides

in the seventh grade?

[sighs] Yeah.

And now I get to do it for real.

[laughs]

Have you thought about your dress?

Are you kidding? I've got 60 back issues of Bride magazine.

You know, Zack's even more excited than I am.

He can't talk about anything else.

So, whoa, whoa, whoa.

You're tellin' me that Jean Claude Van Damme

is tougher than Steven Seagal? No way.

Van Damme could take out a whole army.

And Steven Seagal can't?

Hey, guys, you know who's a lot tougher than he looks?

Martin Short.

All right. All right, all right.

Forget tough guys. Best baseball player.

Barry Bonds.

There you go. That's right.

Best American chess player.

Then I'd like curtains in the kitchen

and little pots on the window sill, all filled with flowers.

Kelly, that is so Brady Bunch.

I know. I love that house.

[giggles]

Best Sports Illustrated swimsuit model:

[all] Elle Macpherson.

Yeah. [laughs]

This is great, man.

You're gonna ruin it all by gettin' married, Zack.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just drive, Slater, will ya?

Hey, you know what?

What do you say we three bachelors

drive down to Mexico and all go fishin' for the week, huh?

Huh?

Oh, no. Where are the girls?

I mean, do you see them?

No, they're not anywhere behind us.

Pull over, Slater.

Great, man.

We're two miles out of L.A., and we've already lost the girls.

[phone rings]

Hello?

[Zack] Hello? Where are you?

We're on the Santa Monica Freeway going east.

Where are you?

Well, we're sitting here on the side of the road waiting for you.

Listen, if you girls can't keep up--

Hey, we girls are perfectly capable

of driving to Las Vegas without you having to lead us there by the nose.

In fact, I'll bet you dinner we'll beat you there.

Oh, you're on.

[honks horn]

[honking horn]

Hey, guys,

they bet us they'd beat us to Vegas.

Let's go!

How'd we get so far from the highway?

[dialing phone]

I don't believe this.

I can't get anything. We're too far out.

Great. The car's broken down,

we're in the middle of nowhere, the heat is stifling.

I'm low on lip gloss.

Take it easy, Lisa.

I'm sure Zack will be by to save us.

Oh, boy, you really are in love.

Zack, your stupid shortcut isn't anywhere near the main highway.

That's why they call it a shortcut, Slater.

No girl's gonna beat me to Las Vegas.

That's the spirit. Step on it, Zack.

[police sirens]

Slow down, Zack.

[police siren]

[police radio chatter]

[coughs]

[coughing]

- Hi there. - Hi there.

So, uh... what's the problem, officer?

Well, you boys have been speedin' through my county.

Mmm, I hate that.

Nobody speeds through my county and gets away with it.

[rattling]

You know, now that you mention it, I guess... [chuckles]

I guess I was goin' a tad too fast.

[all laughing]

A tad. [laughs]

I had you boys clocked at 85 miles an hour.

That's 20 over the speed limit.

Have you any idea how long it takes to stop a vehicle

goin' 85 miles an hour?

732 feet, sir.

You tryin' to be funny, boy?

No, sir, I was just usin' the standard formula of eight feet a second.

Drop it, Screech.

License and registration.

Where you boys from?

Los Angeles.

You see, sir, I'm on my way to get married in Las Vegas.

My fiancée's waiting, so if you can give me my ticket,

we'll be on our way.

Los Angeles, huh?

Did you ever, uh...

Did you ever meet that girl, that girl who plays Blossom?

- No. - [chuckles]

Good actress. Can't dance worth a lick, though.

Why in the world they let that girl dance

at the beginnin' of every show is beyond me.

Yeah, well, uh...

We'll talk to them when we get back to L.A.

You do that. Where's your registration?

You know what? I'm sorry, sir,

but I must have lost it.

You lost your registration?

[chuckling] Ohhh...

Oh, that is a no-no.

That is a big no-no. [chuckles]

- That's bad? - Oh, very bad.

I'm gonna have to run you boys' plates.

You wait right here.

How could you lose your registration?

I don't know! I was cleaning out my glove compartment last week.

I must have thrown it out by accident.

I keep the registration for my bike pinned to my underwear.

Why didn't I think of that?

Yep.

[radio] Sending a roger.

Well...

There's good news, and there's bad news.

What's the bad news?

Bad news is, this car's shown up stolen.

What?!

Mm-hmm. No, no, that's impossible.

You callin' me a liar, boy?

No.

No, sir, I just think there's some kind of mistake,

- because I cleaned out this-- - I don't think so.

I'm gonna have to take you boys in.

Oh, geez.

Well, what's the good news?

Oh, the good news is my wife's makin' pot roast for dinner.

[laughs]

Okay, boys, just get out of the car now.

Slow. Real slow.

Is this really necessary?

Don't tell me how to do my job.

I hate that.

[laughs]

Will you stand still?

Oh. Sorry.

I'm just a little ticklish. I get it from my dad.

He can't even scrub himself in the shower without laughing.

You have the right to remain silent.

I do wish you would.

What's this?

Oh, that? That's a Pez dispenser.

You want one? It's cherry.

Are you tryin' to bribe me, son?

Uh, sir, sir? Please don't pay attention to him.

You see, as a child, he was dropped on his head.

Repeatedly.

Well, I'm gonna have to cuff you boys.

[guys groan] It's just procedure.

I hope Zack isn't worried about us.

The worst part about this is I owe him a dinner.

Hey, someone's coming.

Hey, over here!

Over here!

Uh, look at him, Kelly.

He looks like some kind of grungy hippy.

Lisa, he's the first human being we've seen in an hour.

Looks like you girls could use some help.

No, we'll be fine without you.

In fact, we're enjoying the scenery.

Uh, don't listen to her.

Actually, we're stuck here, and we'd really appreciate some help.

Sure.

I'm Curt Martin.

I'm Kelly. She's Lisa.

Um, what are you doing out here in the middle of nowhere,

if I can ask?

You can ask.

I teach school at the Indian reservation a couple of miles from here.

Never thought a yuppie car like this would break down.

Yuppie car?

Excuse me, but what do you drive,

a VW van with flowers and peace signs painted all over it?

I don't own a car.

I get by fine without material things.

Including a comb.

So, uh,

what do you think's wrong with the car?

Fan belt broke and overheated the radiator.

Can you fix it?

Maybe. I'm gonna need your belt.

[laughs]

No way. This is an Italian import.

Lisa, will you give it to him?

We wanna get out of here, don't we?

Come on.

[whimpers]

[chatter]

All right, boys, you go right on through there and stand on the side.

[chuckles]

Suspicion of grand theft auto.

Book 'em, Dano.

Yes, sir.

Start it up.

[engine starts]

[laughs]

I'm gonna need that water for the radiator.

All of it?

Yeah.

Yuppie car needs yuppie water.

Careful, that stuff's eight bucks a gallon.

I think it's gonna work.

It'll at least get us to Vegas.

Us?

Yeah.

I was on my way to the highway to hitch a ride when I met you.

Well, we'll take you. It's the least we can do.

What's in Las Vegas?

I work in a hotel part of the year to make ends meet.

Appreciate the ride.

Now we can get to know each other.

You, sit in the back.

Is she always this friendly?

[camera shutter clicking]

Mr. Dano, sir. Can I call you Dano?

Sir, this is one big mistake.

That's right. We are not car thieves, sir.

We've never done anything wrong in our lives.

Well, okay, okay. One time, we cheated on a philosophy test, but...

You know, you have the right to a lawyer.

How we gonna find a lawyer out here?

Don't worry, guys, I took a semester of pre-law in high school.

Do you know the words "due process"?

Do you know the words "Shut up"?

Yes, sir. I hear them every day.

Well, I've got some more good news and some more bad news.

And the bad news being?

The bad news is the car's reported stolen

and you boys fit the description of the three suspects.

Oh...

And the good news?

Oh, the good news is that we transferred some prisoners,

so there's room in the jail. [laughs]

You're gonna put us in jail?

Lock 'em up, Dano.

I guess I can kiss that summer job with the FBI goodbye.

Wow! I can't believe we're in the big house.

Shut up, Screech.

Man, I gotta get out of here.

I'm supposed to get married. I can't be in jail.

Hey, marriage is jail, buddy.

Hey, you guys wanna keep it quiet over there?

I'm tryin' to work on a sonnet.

He's very rude, isn't he?

Yeah, you try tellin' him that.

What are you fellas in for?

Nothing. It's a big mistake.

Me, too.

What'd they get you for?

I went for a drive with my wife.

Is that a crime?

Of course not.

They arrested you for that?

What'd your wife say?

Nothing.

She was in the trunk. [laughs]

Ha ha ha ha ha!

And they call me a psycho.

[wild laughter continues]

Zack, I'm scared.

♪♪ [exciting, upbeat]

[shouting, cheering]

Oh, Lisa.

I don't believe this place!

All the lights, all the people!

This is so exciting.

Yes, the town that never sleeps.

Thanks for the ride, girls.

Oh, thanks for fixing our car.

Great talkin' to you, Lisa.

I'm sure we'll be seein' more of each other.

Don't count on it.

I think he likes you.

Please, spare me.

[chuckles]

[chatter]

Are you sure Zack Morris hasn't checked in?

Sorry, but he hasn't checked in yet.

I'll get someone to help you to your room.

- Okay. - Thank you.

Hey, long time no see.

What are you doing here?

Just earning a livin'.

I bet you girls are big tippers.

[laughs]

So, where is Zack?

I'll bet he's getting cold feet.

Lisa, will you stop it? You're making me nervous.

Zack has become a whole new person since we fell in love.

He's mature and responsible.

♪♪ [harmonica]

Screech, could you please stop that?

Hey, I like it.

Now, you play it again, Screech.

Thanks, Ray.

Anyone want to dance?

Now, he scares me.

♪♪

Well, I just got the word from Sacramento.

I guess that was your car after all. [chuckles]

That's what I've been trying to tell you all along, Sheriff.

We're innocent.

What about me?

You punched out an ATM machine.

That's a big no-no.

I'm surprised, Ray.

That's a big, big no-no.

Please, don't help me out with my no-nos.

So we can go, right?

Mmm? Oh. Yeah.

Right after you appear in court on your speeding violation.

Court? I can't appear in court.

I have to get to Las Vegas to get married.

Can't he just pay a fine?

We don't do that kind of thing in this county.

'Course, I... might be able to pull some strings.

Gonna cost you, though.

How much?

How much you got?

A lot. Zack has $1,200!

Screech!

Well, is that a coincidence or what?

Ha ha ha!

That's exactly what it costs.

C'mon, Sheriff, you can't do this.

Well, you could spend your honeymoon in here with Herb and Ray.

Do it, Zack!

There's no price for freedom, man.

Sure, there is, Ray. 1,200 bucks.

So, Screech, where can I reach you, man?

I'm in the book, Ray.

Ooh! Ahh...

[whimpers]

Look at that.

The Considine Diamond.

That's four million dollars.

I think I'll wait till the after-Christmas sale.

Someone's actually gonna buy this?

Yes. My future husband.

[laughing]

Hey, let's not wait for the guys.

Let's have some fun on our own.

All right.

What do you have in mind?

How would you like your wedding present right now?

♪♪ [upbeat pop]

All right, guys, now, remember,

not a word to Kelly about what happened.

I mean, if she knew that our $1,200 wedding stash

is now 43 bucks, she'd kill me.

So, what kind of wedding are you gonna have for 43 bucks?

Guess you're gonna have to cut back on the ice sculptures.

Oh, well, thank you, Mr. "Zack's got $1,200!"

Now, all I need to do is just stall Kelly

so I can raise enough money for the wedding.

♪♪ [harp arpeggio]

What's that look for?

I'm in love.

Yeah, so what else is new?

[Kelly] Zack!

Hey, Kelly!

Hey! [chuckles]

You made it!

Of course. We're sorry we're late.

We just got stopped for speeding

and we were hassled by some country sheriff.

But, hey, nothing's gonna stop me from getting married.

Oh, Zack, this town is such a rush.

I can't wait to start planning the wedding.

I have so many ideas. That $1,200 is gonna go really fast.

You have no idea. [laughs]

Hey, we're gonna go get something to eat.

You owe me dinner, remember?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. How could I forget?

You know, I'm not that hungry.

They fed us pretty well in the slammer. Uhh!

What?

Uh, The Slammer. It was this funky Tex-Mex place in Barstow.

Listen, you girls get started.

We'll just check in. We'll meet you in the restaurant.

Okay. See you later.

[sighs]

Guys, I gotta make some money, and fast.

Hey, why don't you try your luck at the tables?

Zack, you only have 40 bucks.

If you lose that, you won't be able to afford lunch with Kelly.

And then she'd really get suspicious.

See, man? He's got a point.

You know what? I have some friends who made big money

last summer caddying for businessmen.

All you gotta do is carry their clubs, keep their scores low.

You can make a couple hundred a day on tips.

Hey, if we all do that and pool our money together,

you can make your 1,200 back in no time.

- Yeah. - Yeah! Yeah, sounds good.

All right, gentlemen, let's hit the links.

Yes.

[Zack] Remember, stay cool.

[Slater] No problem.

[Screech] We'll have that money in no time.

Guys, here they come.

You guys ever caddy this course before?

Oh... yes, sir. Many times.

I'll take him.

Listen. We're playin' for big money, kid.

So I want every advantage I can get.

You get my drift?

Drift well taken, sir.

[chuckling] Ooh.

Do you know anything about reading greens?

Well, I've cut a lot of lawns in my time.

[tires screech]

- So, I guess it's me and you. - Yep.

- Can you swim? - Why?

Uh! Oh... this water's gross!

Whoa! [chuckles]

Yes!

[sneezes]

Oh! Good shot, sir.

That was a piece of grass, you idiot!

Can't you keep quiet?

Sorry.

Stop!

What? What?

Oh, there was a ladybug on your ball, sir.

I didn't want you to kill it.

Yech!

Eww.

- I'm all out of balls. - No kidding.

Run down to the pro shop and buy me a dozen.

[P.A.] St. John party, please check in at the Pro Shop.

St. John Party, to the Pro Shop, please.

Hey.

I saw you in the lobby last night.

So, you work here?

Uh, yeah. Yeah, I manage the Pro Shop.

I'm A.C. Slater.

Carla.

Well, Carla, I know we just met, but I'm gonna be in town for a few days.

Maybe we can get together sometime.

Um... thanks, but I don't think so.

Will this be all?

For now.

Where are those caddies?

Zack, help!

Screech, slow down!

I can't! The pedal's stuck!

Well, take your foot off the pedal!

I did. It's still stuck!

Put your foot on the brake!

It's not working, either.

- Watch out for the tree. - Tree?!

Screech, put your--

[screams]

I'm trying, Zack, but I'm scared!

Don't be scared, buddy, just grab my hand.

I can't, Zack, it's going too fast.

Jump over here. Jump on my cart.

All right, I'm next to you. Reach my hand.

Come on! Come on!

All right, jump in here, Screech!

- Screech, bail! - [screams]

That's $1,000 worth of clubs, you morons!

You will never caddy again in this country!

You're fired!

And you can tell that other jerk he's fired, too.

Come on.

[shouting, laughing]

♪♪ [rock]

♪ They're tearin' the building down ♪

♪ Where you and me ♪

♪ Used to run around ♪

♪ Oh, but our friendship's built on solid ground ♪

♪ That you can't tear down ♪

♪ We've had the good and bad ♪

♪ Just look at the life we've had ♪

♪ But we're not ready to be done ♪

♪ 'Cause the best is yet to come ♪

♪ I look at the neighborhood ♪

♪ We thought we owned ♪

♪ But never could ♪

♪ And so we must say goodbye ♪

♪ But that seemed nice with apple pie ♪

♪ Now, we've been through good and bad ♪

♪ Just look at the fun we've had ♪

♪ But we're not ready to be done ♪

♪ 'Cause the best is yet to come ♪

♪ Whoo-hoo-hoo ♪

Oh, that feels great!

Has anyone seen my nose plugs?

[laughs]

We haven't had this much fun since high school.

Yeah, and then you guys are gonna go off and get married.

Hey.

I know. [chuckles]

Did I ever tell you I love you?

Oh, not in the last, mmm... seven minutes.

[friends groaning]

[laughs]

Oh, I called the wedding coordinator.

We're gonna meet her tomorrow at 10.

I think it's gonna be really nice if we just stretch our money.

Right. [chuckles]

[to himself] What money?

Excuse me.

[clears throat]

You're in my lounge.

Well, there's plenty of room for two.

Sorry I was so, uh, abrupt at the golf course.

No problem.

I like a challenge.

Well, that's good to know.

So, it must be pretty exciting living here in Las Vegas, huh?

Yeah, yeah.

Sometimes a little too exciting.

What do you mean?

That's enough about me.

Tell me about you.

There you go.

Oh, Screech, I don't know what to do.

Oh, definitely go with the bananas and the nachos.

I'm not talkin' about the food, idiot.

I'm talkin' about Kelly.

She wants to get married in two days, and I'm completely broke.

You know, I couldn't help but overhearing.

I tried not to hear, but the words went right into my ear,

slammed against the ear drum.

I don't know, it's a curse.

Anyway, I'd like to help the two of you out.

Have you two very nice-looking gentlemen

ever considered a career in the exciting and challenging field of, uh...

male escorts?

Actually... no.

Yeah, it's funny how you never see a male escort booth on career day.

- Uh, thanks, but no, thanks. - Here you go, guys.

Look, it's strictly on the up-and-up.

You meet very nice people.

I said we're not interested.

Okay, suit yourself.

Starting salary is $200 a date.

I'm Zack Morris. This is Screech Powers.

And I'm Bert. Bert Banner.

But you can call me Bert Banner.

Oh, look at the two of you.

I bet you have to fight the women off with a stick.

Well, with me, it's actually more like a twig.

You're funny!

You're funny, and I like funny.

Look, this is a legitimate operation I'm running here.

There's no, uh, you know, hanky-panky going on.

It's just nice women who want nice young men to show 'em around town.

When do you want to start?

The sooner, the better.

That's what I wanna hear.

When I get through with the two of you,

you're gonna be smooth, suave, and sophisticated.

Pickle?

[laughing]

So, how about dinner?

Um...

I'm not so sure that's a good idea.

Come on, are you kiddin'? It's a great idea.

Okay.

Okay. You're on.

All right.

We've got--

We'd better keep our eyes on this guy.

You're right. He could be trouble.

All right, let's go. Come on.

♪♪ [piano plays Wedding March]

Ooh, I like that floral arrangement.

Oh, and of course, we can color-coordinate that with the table cloth.

Oh! Kelly, I have found the perfect wedding gown. Look at that.

Oh, you've got great taste.

Now, that dress is $3,000.

Thanks again, Lisa.

Ohhh...

sorry.

Hey, where is Zack?

He was supposed to be here at 10.

He'll be here.

I don't know, Kelly. He might be changing his mind.

After all, he is Zack.

Thanks for the reminder.

Look, if Zack isn't here, I'm sure he's got a very good reason.

A, E,

I, O, U.

How now

brown cow?

Perfect.

You guys were born for this!

I knew I was born for something!

[clears throat] Well...

Now that we've mastered posture and diction,

let's go over our manners.

What are our list of nevers?

Uh, never talk about yourself.

Right.

Never pick up a check.

Perfect!

And that's just good life advice.

Never criticize, even if she has lettuce in her teeth

or eyeliner on her nose.

Yes.

And never sneeze in her salad.

Mmm.

You'd be surprised how often that happens.

- Eww. - Yes.

Okay, let's have a dry run.

Now, Screech--

Oh, I hate that name.

Just call me Samuel, sir.

Samuel? That's boring!

Sammy.

Sammy!

I like it!

Listen, sir, I'm late for an appointment.

- When do we start? - Tonight.

You're gonna be meeting your date

at the Top of the Strip restaurant at 8:00,

and be prompt.

Yes, sir.

Now, Sammy,

you be outside your hotel at 6 p.m.

Don't forget -- 6:00.

A pink limousine will pick you up.

A pink limo?

Wow! I've arrived!

[muttering]

Hi. Yeah, I know.

Where have you been? You're an hour late!

I can explain.

This oughta be good.

I was running all around town looking for the right tuxedo.

I mean, you have no idea.

What's the matter with you?

You've been acting funny ever since you got here.

Is something wrong?

No! No, of course not.

You're not getting cold feet about getting married, are you?

Oh, no, please. Don't be crazy, Kelly.

I love you.

Well, this is really starting to come together.

We can use the money we have if we'll just be creative.

Very creative.

And we can get by with finger foods --

no one eats at weddings anyways --

and we can use the flowers from a funeral

if the florist has one that day.

Well, let's keep a good thought.

[giggles] Oh, I almost forgot!

I made dinner reservations for tonight

at the most romantic restaurant in Las Vegas.

- Top of the Strip. - Oh, that's great.

What did you say? Top of the Strip?

Yeah, 8:00. Got the best table.

8:00?

Well...

Kelly, that's too late to eat.

You know, everybody knows the real fresh food is just out by 6.

Let's just change our reservation to 4.

4:00 dinner?

Gee, that's romantic.

What're you gonna do, help them set the table?

[chuckling] Well...

Are you sure you're not hiding something?

Of course not.

Top of the Strip, 8:00.

Okay.

[whistles]

♪♪ [car horn playing Dixie]

Oh!

Hmm.

[laughing]

- Wah! - Wooo!

Can I give you a hand with those, ma'am?

You again?

So you're a doorman now?

Hey, I do a little bit of everything. [sighs]

I've been employee of the month nine times.

That's great, because this morning, you were a lousy waiter.

My breakfast was cold.

Come on, Lisa. Give me a break.

I get off in a while. How about dinner?

There's a $4.99 prime rib dinner at the Hungry Steer.

[laughs]

Really?

Can I also hit the salad bar and get two deserts?

Why not? It's only money.

Okay.

But promise me you won't wear sandals.

You're on.

Okay.

♪♪ [horn plays Dixie]

So, you're Sammy.

Aren't you a cute one?

Thank you, ma'am.

The name's Diana, love.

But you can call me Di.

[laughs]

Mmmm.

You smell divine.

What's that scent you're wearing?

Oh, nothing. I spilled Lavoris on my undershirt.

It becomes you, Sammy.

Well, thank you, Di.

Oooh! [chuckling]

You are such a hunk!

You must live in the gym.

No, not really.

But I can do five pull-ups.

Six if I get a boost.

I'll give you a boost, Sammy.

[gulp]

Oh, hey! Well!

Well, lookie there. Baywatch.

Cool! Heh.

Uhh!

Television's for the masses, Sammy.

Not for evolved people like us.

[gulps]

What's your pleasure tonight?

Chamber music? Opera?

[off-key singing]

Actually, I hear there's a great video arcade downtown.

I know! Do you tango?

♪♪ [energetic tango]

Oh, Zack, this restaurant is so romantic.

Oh... yeah, right.

Well, let's order. Waiter! Waiter!

Zack, what's the big rush?

You got another date?

Another date? [laughs]

Oh, that's-- that's a good one, Kel.

Oh, well, uh, listen,

I've gotta use the restroom.

I'll be back in a jiffy.

- Okay. - Excuse me.

[no audible dialogue]

Oh, boy, she would have to be gorgeous.

Phew.

Hello. I'm Zack Morris. I'll be your...

escort for the evening.

[clears throat]

Uh, if I can ask, why does a great-looking woman like you

need to rent a date?

Excuse, um--

but speak just little English.

I Russian.

Oh. [chuckles]

I'm gonna kick your butt, Bert Banner.

Bert Banner?

I kick your butt?

Yeah, yeah.

Excuse me. I'll be right back.

Hi, Kel.

Hey, what took you so long?

Well, you know. Men's rooms.

Lines, lines, lines.

Well, let's eat. I'm starved.

Okay, know what I want.

Zack, slow down.

Let's enjoy the evening.

Ooh, great specials.

You know, the Russian dish looks really good.

No, she doesn't.

So, my dad's in the army,

so I kind of grew up all over the world before I moved to L.A.

Oh. Army brat, huh?

Yeah, I guess so.

But, hey, that's just an expression.

So... I bet you had a girl in every country.

No one special.

What about you?

Do you have a boyfriend?

Um...

No.

[chuckles] I'm back.

I kick your butt,

Bert Banner.

Very good. [laughs]

But that expression doesn't come up too often.

Listen, Katrina, I have a confession.

You see, I like you, but I'm gonna be married soon.

- Married? - Yeah.

Me? You?

[laughs]

Shh!

Oh, no.

Shh.

[laughs]

I don't believe this.

Kelly, listen. I can explain.

Oh! [laughs]

You're the same old Zack.

Hitting on another girl right in front of me.

You know, Lisa was right.

I've been kidding myself all along.

No, no, no, Kelly. You don't understand.

Yeah, I understand.

For the first time ever, I understand.

You are scum.

And, you.

You home wrecker.

I kick your butt.

Oh, yeah?

You want to go for it right now?

- Kelly, stop it. - Don't touch me.

I never want to see you again.

[knocking on door]

- Kelly. - Go away.

Kelly, let me in.

C'mon, Kel, at least give me a chance to explain.

What's to explain?

I saw you with another woman, you creep.

She wasn't another woman. She was my date.

I mean, just-- Not a real date.

♪♪ [rock]

C'mon, Kel. It's not what you think! Just--

So. You're a college wrestler.

Yep.

Well, I guess I'd better watch out or you'll pin me.

Well, if I'm lucky, you'll pin me.

[laughs]

Um, I know this really great club downtown.

Would you like to go dancing later?

Yeah.

Yeah, I'd love to go dancing.

All right, Carla, you've had your fun.

Now the game's over. Let's go.

Would you leave me alone?

In a word, no.

Who is this guy?

I'm her boyfriend, pal.

Ex-boyfriend, and I told you I don't want to see you anymore.

And I told you that was unacceptable.

Well, listen, pal,

the lady said she doesn't want to see you anymore.

And who are you, her interpreter?

Yeah. I am.

Great, the high school jock thinks he's a tough guy now.

[laughs]

Don't mess with me, kid.

Freddie, please.

Look, if you don't leave us alone,

I'm gonna have to escort you out.

You're gonna escort me out?

I would love to see that.

[chuckles]

Come on, tough guy. Come on.

I said, come on.

[grunts]

Oh, no. Run!

- Why? He's not getting up. - Run!

- Uh-oh. - Come on.

Come on!

- Hey, boss. - Go get him!

Hey, waiter.

Unhh!

Let me go!

[chatter]

Hey! What are you doin'? Slow down!

Hey! What's goin' on?

Hurry!

[grunts]

Whoa.

Oh, boy.

Phew.

Ohhh...

All right, Carla, what's goin' on?

The man you hit is Freddie Silver.

He's a bad guy with bad connections.

And when I found out who he really was,

I broke up with him.

Yeah, well, he didn't break up with you.

Oh, he's a dangerous man, A.C.

Those two guys chasing us, they're his bodyguards.

Great.

[knocking on door]

Uh, Hotel Security. Open up.

You are good.

[grunts]

[knocking on door]

Hotel Security. Open up.

Come on.

I got it.

- Zack! - Oh, whoa!

Whoa!

Hey, Slater.

You got great timing.

Don't worry, buddy. Just hang on, okay?

Everything's gonna work out all right

if you just stay calm.

So just hang on.

Uhh-- Whoa!

Hold on.

Could you hurry it up a little?

- [screams] - Oh! Whoa!

Kelly!

Zack, what are you doing out there?

I was comin' to see you.

Oh!

Oh, Zack, this is all my fault.

I should have just let you in.

Listen, Kelly, that girl was nobody.

You see, we got stopped for speeding, and we were taken to jail

because Slater cleaned out his glove compartment,

and he took all my money, and now I'm dead broke.

That's why I got the job as a male escort so I could pay for the wedding.

Kelly, I love you.

You're the only girl for me.

Oh, Zack, I love you, too.

Listen, don't let go, okay?

Okay.

[groaning]

Oh, this is so romantic.

Who are you?

I'm Carla. I'm Slater's friend.

Guys! We'll chat later, okay?

Zack, give me your hand. I'm gonna pull you up, okay?

Come on. Ready?

All right. Come on. Pull.

[groaning]

- Got it? - Okay.

Pull. Ohhh...

I got you.

Ohhh...

You got it? Okay. Ohhh...

Kel.

You should be hugging him.

Thanks, buddy. All right, man.

- It's okay. - What about her?

All right, Carla. You ready?

Look, Zack, I don't care if you're broke.

I mean, we'll just get married in one of those funky little chapels.

A real quickie.

Yeah, well, it'll have to be a quickie, 'cause someone's tryin' to kill me.

What?

I am never vacationing with you people again.

Now, Carla, I still don't get it.

Now, why so much heat just because I punched out your boyfriend?

Well, there's a little more to it than that.

You see, a couple days ago, I walked in on a conversation

I was never supposed to hear.

[Slater] Oh, no.

Freddie came to Las Vegas to steal the Considine Diamond.

Oh, I heard that thing's worth millions.

Yeah, and the minute that I learned what Freddie was up to,

I walked out.

Or I tried to walk out.

Now he's trying to shut me up.

Well, we gotta figure out a way to get you guys outta here.

Yeah.

Got an idea. Give me the phone.

[elevator dings]

[chatter]

Okay.

Follow me, and stay cool.

Uh, excuse me, sir. Pardon me.

Uh, your car should be here any minute.

I hope you've enjoyed your stay here at the Stardust.

[snaps]

♪♪ [horn plays Dixie]

Zack, help!

[Di laughing]

[Screech] Let me go!

This lady made me tango against my will!

[Di] Don't go!

No, no, no, no!

[Screech screams]

Ooh! There they are.

Come on, let's go.

Come on! Come on!

Get in, Screech.

Hey, guys, wait for me! Whoooa! Aah!

Ouch, my head!

Hey! Hey, that's my cab!

I've seen those guys before.

They work for Freddie Silver.

Your friends are in big trouble.

Let's go. We're goin' after 'em.

[car honking]

They're about a half a block behind us in that yellow cab.

Come on, step on it, Zack! They're gonna catch up!

I'm drivin' as fast as I can!

I don't get it. Why are you two guys being followed?

It's a long story, Screech, but these people are trying to kill us.

[Carla screams]

Whoa, I should have taken my chances with that crazy tango lady.

I don't like this! [cars honking]

[tires screeching]

Faster! Can't you go any faster?

Can't you shut up? I'm goin' as fast as I can.

If you'd let me drive, we would've caught them by now.

You drive like a woman.

I'm gonna tell Freddie.

[mocking] I'm gonna tell Freddie.

If you put your big head down, you might be able to see.

I'm still gonna tell.

Will you shut up and look for 'em?

[tires squealing]

I'm losing them!

I know a shortcut.

Hang a quick left and cut through that parking lot.

We'll catch up with them at the...

...next intersection.

Doesn't this Beamer come with any air sickness bags?

Sorry. Hang on.

Oh, man, a red light.

[tires screeching]

- Come on. - Oh, no.

Oh, no. Oh, no, we gotta run for it.

[cars honking]

There they are! Let's go! Get 'em!

Hey, what are you doin', huh?

Let's go!

Hey! [horn honks]

Hey!

Wow! It's Rodney! Ulp!

Ooh, ooh! That's Dirty Harry.

I love him.

Yeah? Well, I'm gonna make your day

if you don't stop with that Dirty Harry stuff.

Come on, we gotta find those kids.

All right, let's get out of here.

[sighs]

I can't believe I came to Las Vegas to get married

and now I'm runnin' for my life.

I know what you mean.

I have so much yet I still have to accomplish.

Graduate college. Climb Mount Everest.

Pass my driving test.

Why do they put those driving cones so close together?

Screech, please, shut up.

Carla, did you try goin' to the police?

I couldn't. I've been followed 24 hours a day.

What are you people doing in here?

These are-- These guys are chasing us!

And they're trying to kill us!

And I'm just a big Liberace fan.

Well, leave Liberace alone

and get outta here before I call the cops.

Oh, could you call the cops? Please?

Get out. Now!

Yeesh.

I guess we don't have time to meet Marilyn Monroe.

- Out! - Come on.

I don't see 'em!

Me, neither.

Man, keep lookin'.

Phew. That was too close.

- Yeah, I'm so glad it's over. - What a night.

Hey, that's them!

C'mon, let's get 'em!

C'mon, here.

Come on. Jeez. Come on.

[Man] Hey.

Come on, let's go!

There they are. I see 'em.

Pull over there.

[tires screeching]

Let's go. Come on!

[groaning]

[chatter, laughing]

Under here.

My whole life's passing before my eyes.

You know, it's times like this you realize what's important.

Isn't it something how women's feet are so much more delicate than men's?

What's it like to be you?

That's funny, my dad asked me that the other day.

Oops.

Oh! Oh, my!

Whoa!

Oh, there they are.

Hey! Hey! Over here!

Zack, there's no way outta here.

[Screech] I want my mommy!

Whoa, whoa, whoa. Wait a minute.

There might be a way.

♪♪ [pop with beat]

[audience laughs]

[laughter]

[audience laughs]

Zack's got pretty nice legs.

Listen, we need to get them out of here.

I know a shortcut from the backstage. Come on.

[audience laughing]

[Woman] Woo!

What do you think you're doing?

I'm calling Security.

Uh, we're Security. Here.

Okay, we'll take care of 'em.

Oh, thank you. That's very nice,

but we can take care of ourselves.

Right this way, folks.

Well, well, well.

[chuckles] Hello, ladies.

You know, if you had just wanted to get into show business,

you should've given me a call. I could've pulled a few strings.

Little smudgey-smudgey right there.

It's right there.

Freddie, let 'em go. They're not a part of this.

She's right. We don't know anything about anything.

And besides, we don't care if you want to rob a jewelry store.

Tell you what.

Let us go, and do whatever you want with him.

No one's goin' anywhere.

You give me one good reason why I shouldn't kill all of youse right now.

The three strikes and you're out rule?

Shut up, you idiot.

Look, sir, uh...

Zack and I, well, we're supposed to get married.

You know, if you could let us go...

Yeah, just us. [chuckles]

You are so... innocent.

I love that in a girl.

But, sorry, no one's gettin' married.

Freddie, please, just--

Just nothing. I'm callin' the shots here now.

Mr. Silver, maybe I can be of some help here.

Really?

And you would be, uh?

Curt Martin, sir.

My father owns the Stardust.

- Really? - Really?

Curt, why didn't you say something before?

I mean, all this time, I thought you were just a lowly bellman.

Lisa, I don't believe in using my father's money or influence.

Well, why not? It's the best kind of money and influence.

You are so material.

You are just finding that out?

Excuse me. Sorry to interrupt.

Put that in your diary later on. Okay?

You, Martin, come here.

What can you do for me?

I've lived in the hotel since it was built.

I know the entire security operation.

I can get you into the jewelry store,

and I can get you the combination to the safe.

Well, there you have it.

Now, if you just let us all go... [chuckles]

Not so fast, kid.

I'll do all that for you,

but I want you to let everyone else go,

even Carla.

That is so... noble.

How do I know this whole thing ain't a trap?

Yeah.

I don't need your help.

All right, I tell you what I'm gonna do.

I'm gonna take you up on your offer.

But nobody goes nowhere until we get the diamond and we get away.

As a matter of fact, youse are all gonna come with.

Why?

Because you'll make great hostages in case there's trouble.

[chuckles]

Come on, let's go, hot shot. You're on.

Get us into that safe.

I just want to let you know, if anything happens to us,

my aunt happens to be Attorney General Janet Reno.

I'm shakin', kid.

Come on, come on. Let's go.

Bingo. Oh, what a haul.

There's no reason to leave any of this stuff laying around.

Come on in. You, watch them two.

Get over there. Come on. Get over there.

You, too. Get over here.

Get over there!

You guys aren't gonna get away with this.

[chuckles]

You better hope we get away with this.

Hey, Slater,

you think that gun has paint in it?

I don't know. Why don't you ask him?

Hey, does that gun shoot paint?

[chuckles]

No, stupid, it shoots bullets.

You want to see?

You know, this is all your fault.

My fault? Hey, you're the one who dragged us to Vegas.

Hey, it was your girlfriend who got us here in the first place.

Hey, stop it, the both of youse.

Let me handle this. You gotta know how to talk to 'em.

Hey, stop it, the both of youse.

You know what? You're really starting to make me mad.

Guys, you're gonna ruin my clothes!

All right, that's it. Break it up!

Break it-- That's--

[gasps] Oh!

Ohh! Come on!

Get him! Get him!

[shouting]

[screaming and cheering]

All right, Curt.

You guys, that was great!

Yeah, who would've thought that that stupid Three Stooges routine would work again?

Hey, I've always said that Moe was a genius.

[laughing]

Well, I thought it was pretty brave.

Did I ever tell you that bravery turns me on?

- Mmm. - [Group] Ohhh...

This is Security. We have a break-in in the jewelry store.

I need full response.

[over radio] Roger. Full response--

Hey, is there another vault we can put them in?

♪♪ [bells]

♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh ♪

♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh ♪

♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh ♪

♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh ♪

♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh ♪

And by the power invested in me,

I now pronounce you man and wife.

May you live long and have many children together.

♪♪ [Wedding march]

Number 61!

Bingo.

Hey, it's you.

Hey, it's you.

What are you doin' here?

Oh, I have a lot of service businesses.

I have a used car lot and a funeral parlor.

You'd be surprised how many people drop dead in Las Vegas.

Well, we'll just take the wedding.

Listen, uh, Kel,

I know this is not how you planned it,

but I promise, I'll make it up to you.

The important thing is, we're getting married.

That is the important thing.

But here's something a little more important.

I'll need the marriage license and 50 bucks.

And not necessarily in that order.

You know, if you want to make it 55,

I could throw in a shiatsu massage.

No. [clears throat]

Uh, okay. Uh,

do you, Zack Morris,

and you, Kelly Kapowski,

promise to love and to cherish,

in health and sickness,

in sickness and death,

in death and rigor mortis,

and then come back and wander the earth as zombies?

Uh, just say, "I do."

Uh...

[both] I do.

Survey says, right answer,

so, if nobody objects, I now pronounce you--

I object.

What do you object to?

No son of mine is gonna get married in a cheesy place like this.

But I just redecorated.

Zack, Kelly, I, uh...

I want you to have a real wedding.

Oh... Dad, I don't know what to say.

Glad you changed your mind.

Well, I got some last minute wisdom from an old friend.

I had to call him.

I'm glad you did.

Guys, give your mom and me a couple of days,

and we'll have a first-class wedding.

I've already started the ball rolling.

I think this belongs to us.

[giggling]

[applause]

Boy, I should stick to funerals.

They never ask for refunds.

Oh, well.

Number 62!

All right, do your thing there...

Thanks, Dad.

♪♪ [organ play Wedding March]

This is so beautiful.

I know. I love weddings.

I was their suite mate at college.

I was their principal.

Oh.

Would you two just cut it out?

I was their resident advisor, you know.

I kind of introduced them.

They met in my school.

[Both] Shh.

We're gathered here today to witness the union

of two very special people:

Zack Morris and Kelly Kapowski.

Wait! Wait for me!

[audience gasping]

Jessie!

Wait!

Jessie! How'd you get here?

Well, when Zack's mom called,

I took the first flight out of New York.

I couldn't let you guys get married without me.

Well, what about your finals?

So I'll go to summer school.

There are things more important than a test.

Oh!

I'm glad you're here.

[minister clears throat]

Oh.

As I was saying...

Zack and Kelly.

Two people destined for each other.

♪♪ [pop]

♪ Offer me your hand ♪

♪ And I will give my heart ♪

♪ Ask me for a sketch ♪

♪ And I'll paint a work of art ♪

♪ And I know I can ♪

♪ When it's for you ♪

♪ In the light of day ♪

♪ We all believe we can ♪

♪ It's when we're in the dark ♪

♪ That we need a helping hand ♪

♪ Ooh, mine is always there ♪

♪ When it's for you ♪

♪ I can't help it ♪

♪ I can't hide it ♪

♪ It's what you bring out in me ♪

♪ 'Cause you give me ♪

♪ Inspiration ♪

♪ Nothing's too much when it's for you ♪

May I have the ring, please?

Screech. Give him the ring.

Oh.

Well, I had it a minute ago.

It's on your hand.

Sorry.

Do you, Kelly, take Zack to be your lawful wedded husband?

I do.

Do you, Zack, take Kelly to be your lawful wedded wife?

I do.

By the power vested in me by the state of Nevada,

I now pronounce you man and wife.

Yay!

Well, you may kiss the bride.

[cheering and whistling]

[Man] All right, Zack!

[Woman] Congratulations!

♪♪ [Wedding March]

Alex, I can't believe you made it.

Ohhh!

I would not miss seeing Zack commit to one woman.

All right, all right. I get enough of that from Lisa.

[clears throat]

Be happy, and don't forget, I'm right across the campus from you.

[laughs]

Hey.

- Hey. - Congratulations!

Thanks, Mike.

Thank you, Mike.

I tell you what, though. I'm really gonna miss you guys in the dorm.

Well, you know, if it'll make you feel any better,

you can come to our apartment once a week

and yell at us for being too messy.

Count on it.

- Hi. - Hey.

Hey. Mr. Belding,

we are so touched that you came to our wedding.

Well, you have always been special to me.

And, Zack, if it wasn't for you,

I'd have a lot more hair and a few less ulcers.

What can I say, sir?

You made high school challenging.

I did? Thanks, Zack.

Best of luck, you two.

And don't forget to come visit me at Bayside.

Come here.

Ohhh...

- Zack. - Yeah?

You better take care of her, or you will hear from me.

Anything but that.

I promise, Jessie, I will.

Well...

[tearfully] Mrs. Morris.

What can I say?

[ding ding]

Uh...

I would just like to say to all our family and friends

how happy Kelly and I are that you could all be here today.

You've made this truly special.

[Kelly] And please, don't be strangers.

We want to see all of you in our new apartment.

But not at the same time.

[laughing]

[Kelly] Thanks, you guys.

We love you all.

Uh, I'd like to say a few words about Zack and Kelly.

You're the best friends a guy could have.

I wish you all the things I wish for myself,

and may you live in happiness forever. Hear, hear.

[All] Hear, hear.

I can't tell you how proud the two of you have made us.

Oh, thanks, Mom.

We love you, honey.

I love you, too, Daddy.

Hey, guys!

How are you?

Hey!

Oh, you're so big! You look so handsome!

Mom.

- See you later. - Okay.

Why am I surprised?

You've always been there for me.

Hey, it's your life.

Who am I to tell you how to live it?

I have a lot of faith in you, Zachary.

Zachary.

You haven't called me that since I was a kid.

I love you, son.

I love you, Dad.

Whoa, what is with you?

Oh, Curt's taking me to the Indian reservation,

so I thought I'd dress appropriately.

She'll fit right in, don't you think?

Look at you.

You have gone off and got yourself married!

I knew you'd be the first.

And, you!

You sure fooled me.

I love you guys.

Aw, we love you.

Best of luck.

Hey, thanks for everything, man.

Bye.

Take care, you guys. Have fun.

Buh-bye.

Oh, guys, I'm lousy at goodbyes.

Have a nice life.

Bye!

- Hey, buddy, come on. - Screech!

Hey, we're gonna see a lot of you.

But promise you'll call first?

[sobs]

What can I say, man? It's the end of an era.

It's been great, huh?

I'm gonna miss you.

Hey, it's not over.

I'm sure the little lady's gonna let me out once in a while.

If you're good.

Oh, if I'm good, huh?

Well, Carla's gonna come back to L.A. with me for a couple days.

Oh.

Congratulations, you guys.

I'm so sorry I put you through this.

Hey, it's okay. Everything worked out,

and now we have a new friend.

Good luck, buddy.

[Zack] Take it easy.

Bye, Kelly.

- Bye. - Take care of him.

Bye.

Okay, I'm gonna throw the bouquet now.

- All right! Ready! - Get it!

Oh...

Screech!

Why me?

Why do I have to be the only one without somebody?

Sammy!

There you are!

Hey, you stay away from me!

My feet are still swollen from that tango!

Oh, give me another chance, Sammy!

We're meant for each other!

♪♪ [romantic pop]

♪ Why don't we see the world together? ♪

♪ 'Cause there's a lot of world to see ♪

♪ Woo-oo-hoo-hoo ♪