Original subtitles

♪♪ [Rap Chorus]

[Man] ♪ Here it is, a crew slightly transformed ♪

♪ Just a bit of a break from the norm ♪

♪ Jus' a little somethin' to break the monotony ♪

♪ Of all that hard-core dance that it's gotten to be ♪

♪ A little bit out of control, the school, the dance ♪

♪ But what about a groove that soothes and moves romance ♪

♪ Gimme your soft, subtle mix ♪

♪ And if it ain't broke then don't try to fix it ♪

♪ And think of the summers of the past ♪

♪ Adjust the steaks and let the Alpine blast ♪

♪ Pop in my CD and let it run around ♪

♪ And put your car on cruise and lay back, 'cause it's summertime ♪

[female chorus] ♪ In the summer, summertime ♪

[Woman on PA] ...pick up the white courtesy phone.

And here we find Lisa, waiting for her luggage.

And how do you like Hawaii so far, Lisa?

Screech, take a hike.

Okay. And now we'll move on to someone else.

Ooh.

Hey, look at all these incredible women!

Yeah.

What do you mean, "Yeah"?

He asked my opinion.

No. He said, "Look."

You volunteered your opinion.

Okay. I'll volunteer another opinion.

If you keep this up, you're gonna drive me nuts.

You know, you two are gonna drive us all nuts.

Yeah, guys. I mean, this is a vacation.

Why don't you try being nice to each other for the next two weeks?

I know you can do it.

Kelly's right. What do you say, mama?

I say no more fighting for the rest of the trip.

All right.

Excuse me.

Hey, wait. Here, let me help you with that. I got it.

Wait-- No. You really don't have to.

No, that's okay. I'll carry it for you.

- Which way are you goin'? - You don't have to.

It's really a very light bag.

Oh, great. Makes it easier on me.

[sighs] Well, I guess there's no stopping you.

- This way. - All right.

- I'm Zack Morris. - I'm Andrea Larson.

Ooh, watch out, Zack, or you're gonna walk into a wall.

Well, hey. Love hurts. [chuckles]

[Man on P.A.] Aloha to all our new arrivals from San Francisco.

[laughs] I give this two days, tops!

Don't be so negative, Lisa.

Yeah. We're gonna be cool the rest of the trip.

I'll bet you $25 you're at each other's throats before we leave.

Okay. I'll take that bet.

Me, too. Only make that $50. Each.

Hey, let's not blow all our money.

What do you mean? We're gonna win.

Oh. Right.

All right. $100.

I accept cash, checks, and all major credit cards.

[Woman on P.A.] Flight number 29, leaving from gate number--

So, uh, how long are you in Hawaii for?

I've lived here all my life.

Wow, that is fantastic.

I mean, you got the best beaches in the world,

- surfing every day-- - Whoa.

If that's your image, Zack,

when you live here every day, it can't be the good life.

Surprise!

Derek! [chuckles]

This limo for you?

Um, I guess so.

Looks like the good life to me. [snickers]

Andrea, I missed you so much.

I had to welcome you back in person.

Derek, I was only in Maui for a day and a half.

I know, but it seemed like a lifetime.

Are those yours?

Uh, yeah. They are.

Oh, Derek, he's not the porter, he's just helping me with my bags.

Oh.

Climb in, Andrea. I've got sparkling water

and hot snacks in the car.

[forced chuckle]

[clears throat]

Thanks for, uh, carrying my bags for me.

Is that guy your boyfriend?

More or less.

Less, I hope.

Have a nice trip, Zack.

Aloha.

[car door closes]

Principals' Tour. Gather, people. Gather.

Oh. No.

A little closer, so you can hear.

- That's good. - Nightmare in Paradise.

Mr. Belding?

For those of you who don't know me,

I am your tour leader and brother principal, Richard Belding.

[Belding chuckles]

Herbert Stark, Maple High School, Long Beach.

Thanks for picking a place 2,000 miles away from our students.

[all laughing]

Oh, they're here? I don't believe it!

Excuse me. I'll be right back.

What are you doing in Hawaii?

Summer school. What else?

My grandfather's owned a hotel here for 30 years,

and this visit, he said to bring along my friends.

So, here we are! Nice shirt, Mr. B.

[sighs] Look, I'm leading a principals' tour,

and I think it would be best

if we just all kept our distance from each other.

Especially, Zack, you keep your distance from me.

Hey. I will be happy to avoid you, sir.

Fine. Look, have a wonderful time.

I'll see you all in September.

But not a minute before. [horn blowing]

There's our bus.

All right, everyone. This way to the Royal Pacific Hotel.

Watch your step, bring your bags.

Next stop: the beach!

Well, there's a car for the Hideaway.

I said this place was quaint, not fancy.

Let's go!

He has returned!

♪♪ [pop rock]

[Woman] ♪ Had a dream I was on vacation ♪

♪ Ended up in the Hula Nation ♪

♪ A little island in the middle of the ocean ♪

♪ Took my shorts and suntan lotion ♪

♪ Take a nap on the beach in the sand ♪

♪ Cool breeze blowin' in the tropical land ♪

♪ Heaven on earth and I ain't lyin' ♪

♪ Aloha, baby, I've gone Hawaiian ♪

♪ Hoo, hoo, hoo, ya ♪

♪ Had a dream I was on vacation ♪

♪ It was such a sweet sensation ♪

♪ Fell in love without even tryin' ♪

♪ Aloha, baby, I've gone Hawaiian ♪

Isn't it peaceful?

Uh, a little too peaceful.

Yeah. Where is everybody?

♪ Welcome to the Hawaiian Hideaway ♪

♪ Your cares will slide away ♪

♪ Beneath the sunshine in the mornin' ♪

♪ And the moon at night ♪

[laughs] Grandpa!

Welcome back, sweetheart.

Welcome to all of you.

Well, thank you for inviting us, Mr. Bannister.

Please, please. Just call me Harry.

Our host requests that we call him Harry.

You must be Screech.

How'd you know?

Just a lucky guess.

Grandpa, it's so quiet. Where are all the other guests?

What other guests?

Hey. Come on.

Here you go, Screech.

So this all started because the Royal Pacific Hotel

wants to buy your land?

Yeah. That's right. They called it "expansion."

I call it greed.

That's typical behavior of the large money-grubbing corporations of the '90s.

But, Grandpa, you can't sell the Hideaway. It's been your whole life.

Well, I could turn down their offer, sweetheart,

but a big outfit like Royal Pacific doesn't take "no" for an answer.

[chuckles] Gee, first they hired away my staff.

And when I hired another one, they paid 'em more money to stay at home.

Pretty soon, not working for me was the best job on the island.

And, with no staff to take care of 'em,

the guests just stopped coming.

That is terrible. Well, what are you gonna do, Harry?

What am I gonna do, you say? What am I gonna--

I'll tell you what I'm gonna do.

I'm gonna see that all of you have the time of your lives while you're here.

And after that, if I have to sell the old place, well,

at least I gave it one last hoorah.

Now, come on, everybody. Eat, eat.

I caught this mahi mahi myself.

But, Grandpa, there must be something you can do to save the Hideaway.

Kelly, we'll talk about that tomorrow with my lawyer.

Now is the time to eat. This fish is getting insulted.

By the way, it does have some bones.

[choking]

[spits out bone]

[screeching] Thanks!

[Man] ♪ Ride with me, baby, it's such a beautiful day ♪

[Woman] ♪ Oh, hoo, yeah ♪

[Man] ♪ I got a feeling anything could happen today ♪

♪ It's the time of our lives ♪

♪ With you by my side ♪

♪ I feel like I'm flyin' ♪

♪ What you wanna do today? ♪

[together] ♪ What you wanna do today? ♪

[Man] ♪ I feel like I'm flyin' ♪

♪ What you wanna do today? ♪

♪ I feel like I'm flyin' ♪

♪♪ [ends]

[surf roaring]

[yawns] Let's put out the lights, Zack.

I want to get up early when the jellyfish are awake.

Hey, Screech.

Do you believe in love at first sight?

Well, sure. I fell in love with my pet warthog the second I saw him.

Why?

Never mind. Just... forget I even asked.

[sighs] You know, it's really too bad

about Kelly's grandfather, isn't it?

Oh, yeah. But a couple of ukulele lessons would do the trick.

Not that, you dummy.

I mean, him losin' his hotel and everything.

Oh. Yeah, that is too bad.

But there's nothin' we can do about it.

Maybe not.

Anyway.

G'night.

Good night.

[sighs]

Here we are in our room.

Zack's just put out the light.

Would you please shut that thing off?

Hmm.

Well, thanks, Zack. I always sleep with three pillows.

Aha! The first flies of our nature walk.

[screams, whimpers]

Way to go, doofus.

[sighs]

Screech, get that thing out of my face.

I'd like to catch my rays in peace.

- 'Kay? - Okay.

Lisa remains camera shy.

It is him!

Ah, I feel the crunch of pooka shells beneath my feet.

[screams] Help! Help me!

Hey! Let go of that geek! What are you doing?

[screams] Put me down!

Help! You help me, you!

[Screech] Aah. Help me!

[both captives chattering]

Looks good. [laughs]

And your grandma'd be so proud, too.

- Morning, Harry. - Hey, Brian.

Brian Hanson. I'd like you to meet my favorite granddaughter, Kelly.

Well, I can see why she's your favorite.

[chuckles] Hi, Brian.

Aloha, Kelly. Welcome to Hawaii.

- Thank you. - Sit down, Brian.

Oh, thank you.

Well, my grandfather's told me a lot about you.

Well, I hope it was all good. [laughs]

Isn't there anything you can do to stop the terrible thing that Royal Pacific is doing?

Well, Kelly, as Harry's friend, I have to say

what the Royal Pacific is doin' to him is a crime. I really do.

But, as his lawyer, I have to say it's legal.

But it's so mean!

It sure is. But that's the way Charles Worthington operates.

You see, his hotels bought up all the land around you,

and now the Hideaway seems to be the last piece in his puzzle.

But if you knew what the Hideaway means to my grandfather, you'd--

Kelly, Kelly. You don't have to sell Brian.

He's been trying to help me for two years.

- Still is. - [chuckles]

In spite of the fact that all I can afford to pay him is a free breakfast.

Well, I've come this far with Harry. I want to see it through to the end.

Kelly, Harry, I've got it. I mean, it just hit me when I woke up.

- There's a way out. - Hold it, hold it, son.

You're talkin' in code.

Uh, excuse me, Grandpa.

Zack Morris, this is my grandfather's lawyer,

Brian Handsome. I mean, Brian Hanson.

Brian Handsome's okay with me. Nice to meet you, Zack.

Uh, now, Zack. What's so important?

Well, Harry, it's simple. I mean, you got a staff right here.

You got me, you got Kelly. All of us will volunteer, starting now.

Zack, that's fabulous!

Look, look, kids--

Harry, we got a way to get you out of your jam.

Slater had a brilliant idea.

No, it was your idea, Jessie.

- Oh, no, darling. It was you. - All right, already.

Wait a minute. Is the brilliant idea that we all work as Harry's staff?

- Yeah. How did you know? - [chuckles]

It's a lucky guess.

What you're offering to do is great. But Stan--

Wait, wait, wait. Who are you?

Brian Handsome.

I'm Harry's lawyer.

Now, listen, a staff is one thing, but in order for Harry to avoid foreclosure,

he'd have to fill the Hideaway to capacity for the next two weeks.

Yeah, Brian's right. I need guests, too.

Hopefully, ones that pay.

Leave it to us.

We have a long-time relationship with the leader of a certain tour group.

[muffled cries]

Stand back, Lisa. This won't be pretty.

Okay, whoever you are, you better let us go.

I know karate, kung fu, tae kwan do, and I collect ninja videos.

[imitating martial arts]

[snickers]

[laughs] Wait a minute. I know, I know.

This is Candid Camera, right?

Right?

Okay. What's the deal here?

[clears throat]

I am Keanu.

I welcome you back to your people.

You have returned, as your great ancestor foretold.

Ah! My ancestor?

Manalao.

Yeek!

The wisest, most powerful chief of the Pukuku tribe.

He left this island six generations ago, in search of snow.

But he said that one day his descendant will return

in the time of our greatest danger--

and that time is now!

And so you have come back.

Wait. Excuse me. What danger?

Our sacred tribal land is going to be bulldozed.

Desecrated by the expansion of the Royal Pacific Hotel.

[grunting, murmuring]

Our deed to the land is lost, so we have no proof that the ground is ours.

But we know that it is.

And we know that you

will find a way to save it for us.

[laughs] Wait a minute. Time for some truth here.

Look, this guy is not who you think he is. This guy is a dork.

"Dork"? Is that what they call chiefs on the mainland?

[sighs] No, that's what they call dorks.

[laughs] Look, Screech,

these guys think you're their knight in shining armor, like you're a king or something.

I mean, are you gonna set them straight or what?

Hmm. Manalao!

[together] Manalao.

It-- It's practical. I mean, I'm not sure it would work.

You see, there--

[Men chanting] Manalao, Screech. Manalao--

- What's goin' on? - [Men] Manalao.

Would you look at this?

Manalao, Manalao, Manalao.

- Pukuku Manalao, Screech. - Isn't that Screech?

Manalao, Manalao, Manalao, Pukuku Manalao, Screech. Unh!

Manalao, Manalao, Manalao. Pukuku Manalao, Screech. Unh!

Who are those people?

Manalao, Manalao, Manalao. Pukuku Manalao, Screech. Hunh!

The Pukuku. They're one of our ancient Polynesian tribes.

The Hawaiians call them the "Hu'ai pupulai."

- What does that mean? - The idiot fringe.

[chanting continues]

[chanting stops]

[beeping] Thanks for the lift, my people.

We must return to work.

But we will drive our cabs happily

knowing that you are here to help us save our land.

Aloha, Chief Screech.

Aloha, guys.

May you be blessed with big tippers.

[chuckles]

♪♪ [drums] ♪♪ [humming]

Okay, guys, I got it.

All right, listen. The principals are in rooms 1209 to 1245.

- Okay. - All right?

Look out! It's Belding!

- Mr. Belding! - Hi.

Hi. Are you sure you won't join us for a morning swim?

Oh, thank you, Miss Hodgkiss,

but I want a sample of that breakfast buffet.

I'm a real sucker for those macadamia nut pancakes.

[laughs] Well, bye, then.

Have a good time!

Okay. Lisa, Kelly?

You take those three women. Everyone else, let's hit the 12th floor.

- Let's go. - Let's go.

Mmm.

[knocking] Yo, room service!

Come in.

Hey, how ya doin'? Hope you're a hungry guy.

Famished, actually.

Fi-Fi-Fifteen dollars for this?

One piece of bacon and a slice of toast?

Oh! Almost forgot the pineapple.

Wait a minute, wait a minute. The menu says "Fresh pineapple."

So we lied! There you go.

Which brings us to my tip, and I usually get 30%,

- so cough up, huh? - I'm not giving you a penny.

Oh, a cheapskate, huh? Then get your own breakfast.

Wait. W-Wait. Wait! Wait! Wait! Whoa.

[knocking]

Come in!

[imitating German] Maid service! Maid service!

I'm not ready for maid service.

Ah! This room is a pigsty.

What have you done to it? I've got work to do. Get out! Get out!

I'm in my nightgown.

What do I care? Get out! Get out!

Oh!

Out! Get out! Get out.

[screaming] Shark!

[all screaming]

[knocking]

Good morning!

We're here to fumigate.

- Fumigate? - Yeah.

Does this room have bugs?

"Does this room have bugs?" [laughing hysterically]

All the rooms have bugs. Not to mention rodents.

Oh... But stay cool. Fumigation is a hotel service, right?

Okay. Party on, dude. Blast away.

Party time! Ready, aim, fire.

Is that poisonous?

How do you think we kill the bugs? Duh.

The management says stay out of the room for 12 hours,

but two days is safer, right?

Let's beat it, dude. Oh, we're out of here.

What was in that goo? What'd you put in there?

Oh, it was my own special concoction.

That skunk juice gives it a little something extra.

Stop, you two!

[both] Whoa!

You get the door!

[coughing]

Oh. Hey, Andrea.

I think I liked it better shorter.

Oh, wh-- what are you doing here?

I work here, and it looks like you do, too.

Oh, no, we're just pretending.

Oh, Screech!

No way. That's no way to treat a king!

Look, we have some business to take care of,

but maybe afterwards, we can meet somewhere.

I don't think so, Zack.

But, Andrea, I haven't stopped thinking about you since the airport.

And now that we wind up in the same elevator, that--

Don't you believe in fate?

Well, I never used to.

[ding]

Well. Look who's here.

Now, sir, I know you told us to stay away,

but we just had to try this buffet.

Yeah. We hear it's awesome.

Yeah!

Why don't you join me? [Lisa laughs]

You know, Mr. Belding, we've got to hand it to you.

You really know how to pick hotels.

Mm-hmm.

As a tour leader, you develop a certain knack. [chuckles]

This is one fantastic place, isn't it?

This place is an outrage, Belding!

How dare you book us here!

What?

This is the rudest establishment I've ever set foot in.

Mrs. Fielding, I-I-I--

Sharks! Sharks. There are sharks out there.

We almost got eaten alive.

Sharks?

Derek, please. I don't have time for breakfast.

I'm supposed to be on the beach in 10 minutes.

Well, just tell your supervisor you're with me. She won't say a word.

But that's not fair to the others.

Andrea, you are my girlfriend.

And my father owns this hotel. Who cares about being fair?

[laughing] Let's eat!

We could have been poisoned!

Its jaws were three feet wide!

[gasping, chattering]

What's going on over there?

Excuse me!

I'm Derek Worthington, the assistant manager of the hotel.

May I be of assistance?

Do you know your hotel is crawling with roaches and rats?

Sir, I assure you--

I assure you you ought to be ashamed of yourself.

Belding, we demand that you move us to another hotel.

Immediately!

And you should have every maid in the place expelled.

[Women] Yeah!

Derek! Derek, if you want to have breakfast with me, the clock is ticking.

All right. Who needs these people, anyway?

Great. Now I gotta find a hotel with rooms for 40.

Mr. Belding, maybe we can help you.

Shh! Don't tell him!

We've got the place to ourselves for a few more days.

Slater, Slater, don't be selfish!

He's our friend, and he's in a jam.

Yeah, no, no. I'm desperate.

Well, sir, my grandfather's hotel is really fabulous.

And a big group of Japanese tourists might be checking out.

Maybe I can ask my grandfather to find some room for your group.

Really? A-And it's a good hotel?

- Oh, yeah. - Yeah.

It's very, very quiet.

Ow.

What about the staff? I mean, it's not like the one here, is it?

Mr. Belding, from the second you meet the staff,

you'll feel like you've known 'em for years.

I'm sold.

Kelly, can you make it happen?

- Let's go call. - Great.

Mission accomplished! [laughing, chattering]

How's this, "Jessie-lani"?

Perfect, Slater-poo.

Harry, you have an amazing bunch of kids here.

Come on, Brian.

They are amazing.

This little gal's the most amazing one of all.

Well, you're gettin' no argument from me.

[Zack] All right, everybody, on your toes!

Here they come.

- Okay. - Okay?

Oh, Kelly, good luck, huh?

I'll see you later.

[honk honk]

[honk]

♪ Welcome ♪

♪ To the Hawaiian Hideaway ♪

♪ Your cares will slide away ♪

♪ Beneath the sunshine in the mornin' ♪

♪ And the moon at night ♪

[applause]

Welcome, everybody.

Our new guests are driven by my fellow tribesmen Keanu and Pono.

Whose land I'm going to save...

somehow.

Wave to the camera, guys.

Would you quit clownin' around

and start helping with the people's bags?

Come on. Go.

Aloha.

You must be Mr. Belding.

Do I look that stupid?

Uh, I'm-- I'm Richard Belding.

Ah. Well, welcome to the Hideaway.

I'm Harry Bannister.

The kids have told me a lot about you.

Only good things, I hope.

Don't worry, Mr. Belding.

We left out the time you locked yourself in the girls' bathroom.

Oh, I heard that one, too. Excuse me.

Uh...

- Zack. - Yeah?

What's going on here?

What, the guests have to carry the other guests' suitcases?

Oh, no, Mr. B. You're lookin' at the staff.

You?

Who's going to run all the activities?

We are.

Oh, Zack, you can't do this to me.

I promised these people a genuine Hawaiian experience.

No problem. They'll get it.

Yeah. [chuckles]

Mr. Sherbeth. Hi. Thank you.

Hello, everybody.

Shipshape, matey.

All checked out and ready to go.

All right. Welcome aboard, everybody.

I'm Zack Morris, your captain, and this is Screech Powers,

my first mate and Hawaiian fish authority.

Thank you, Captain Morris.

And aloha, principals.

We hope to see a wide variety of our fin-covered friends today:

among them, the Picasso triggerfish --

Latin name Rhinecanthus aculeatus.

Hawaiian name Hu-mu hu-mu nu-ku.

Uhh... aah!

Yeah. That's how you do it.

Oh, my gosh!

Hey!

It's Belding.

Well, guys, it's been great fun.

I gotta go. I'll see you.

"Hawaiian Baked Ham.

Place ham in pan, thick side up."

The whole thing is thick.

"Reserve the meat."

Reserve the meat? I already have it.

"Dredge with sugar,

and reduce"?

What does all this mean?

What do they call the yellow fish over there?

Ohh... ohh...

Heh heh heh.

All right, everybody, let's hula!

Raise your arms level with your chest

and extend your hands.

Bend your knees slightly. That's it.

Now move to the right. Move to the left.

Now sway your hips to the music.

Good!

E-Excuse me.

Aren't we supposed to be telling a story with our hand movements?

Mm-hmm.

Uh, I was just getting to that.

Follow me.

♪ The itsy-bitsy spider climbed up the water spout ♪

♪ Down came the rain and washed the spider out ♪

♪ Out came the sun and dried up all the rain ♪

♪ And the itsy-bitsy spider climbed up the spout again ♪

Aah! Ow!

Uhh...

Uh...

[motor stalls]

Screech.

Are we home yet?

No, you nimwad.

We're miles from shore, and the the motor won't turn over.

Great! We're stuck out in the middle of nowhere.

[motor stalls]

Wait a minute.

Did you check the gas before we left?

Oops!

I knew I forgot something.

Oh, great! Stuck out here in the middle of noplace!

Uh, you know,

why don't we all enjoy this peaceful moment, huh,

while I figure a way to get us home safely?

- Oh. Hah! - Sure.

Ah, this is so picturesque.

I wish I had my camera.

Would you shut up and let me think?

Oh, I could get a great composition,

especially with that speed boat in back.

- Speed boat? - There.

Hey! Screech! That's Andrea! I don't believe--

Andrea, it's me, Zack!

Hi, Zack. I like your hat.

Well, we seem to be stuck here.

Yeah. I can see that.

Can you help us?

Wait. I have to check with my skier.

Should we help 'em?

She says to leave you there.

Oh, but, Andrea!

I'm kidding, I'm kidding!

We'll tow you back.

Oh.

Jensen, I hired you for this job

because you're the best construction supervisor in Hawaii.

Well, thank you, Mr. Worthington.

And I know you wouldn't dare let me down.

No, sir.

The new addition to the Royal Pacific Hotel

must be completed and ready for opening by next Easter.

I've asked my son Derek to work with you,

to make sure you stay on schedule.

Well, that'll be... nice.

Two weeks from today, I want to see bulldozers down there.

Just level everything and get to work.

And the Pukuku will be out of the shacks?

Evicted. We've taken care of those crazies.

And the Hideaway has to sell to Dad or face foreclosure.

They haven't had a guest in months.

Yeah?

Well, isn't that the Hideaway's boat,

with people in it?

Yes.

Isn't that your girlfriend towing them?

[Derek] Well, it looks like her.

"It looks like her." Get down there and do something about it!

Right.

You know, you really saved me.

You're not only beautiful, you're my hero.

Oh, it's nothing, Zack.

Hotels around here always help each other out.

I have to get my guest back.

Just remember, this thing needs gas.

Right. Well, wait. When can I see you again?

I don't know. I'm really very busy.

What about lunch tomorrow?

[Derek] Andrea!

Andrea!

What are you doing?

Oh, I'm not up to explaining.

I got to get the boat back, Derek!

I'll talk to you later.

What about lunch? You name the place.

Mahani Point. 1:00.

I'll see you there.

Will you get your hands off of me!

Well, we had ourselves a real little adventure

on the high seas, didn't we?

You're incompetent.

Yes, sir.

Well, we'd better get ready for dinner,

because tonight we've planned an authentic Hawaiian feast.

It better be good.

Oh, the salad was a hit.

They're ready for the main course.

Good, good. Jessie, okay, let's hit 'em with the ham.

I don't think it's done yet.

Are you sure you're not overcooking it?

No. It's only been in for seven hours.

Seven hours?

Oh, gee.

- What? - Jessie.

You just now blew it.

- Oh! - Oh!

- [cough] - Shucks.

- Oh. - Sorry.

Jessie, this ham was pre-cooked.

You were only supposed to heat it up for an hour.

Just because I'm female, I'm not supposed to be Julia Child.

Yeah, right, it's okay, dear.

Maybe it's not burnt on the inside.

[grunt]

I'm afraid we'll never find out.

Hail to the Chief!

Ooh!

Hail, brothers. Hmm.

Screech, would you get these characters out of here?

We're in a crisis.

To celebrate your return

and the salvation of our land,

we have prepared Pukuku stew for you and your friends.

Uh, so, uh, what's in it?

Hey, this recipe is a secret,

preserved for 20 generations.

People gave their lives to get this recipe.

Okay, okay.

Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey!

I've got a hungry group out there.

Let's keep this food coming, huh?

I say we go with the stew.

- Right. - Yeah.

Thank you.

Thank you very much.

What is this?

Maybe we should have gone with the ham.

I like it.

Very unusual, and very tasty.

Sure is.

Hey, guys, that stew was supposed to be for us.

Uyy!

Hello.

Oh, hi, Brian. What brings you here?

Well, I wanted to find out how it went today.

That was really nice of you.

We've had our rough moments,

but I think everything turned out all right.

Great. Listen, Kelly, I'm taking my boat out tomorrow.

I'd love to show you some of Honolulu,

if you have some free time.

Well, I'm supposed to make up the beds tomorrow.

Oh.

But you're lookin' at the fastest bed maker-upper in Hawaii.

Great.

We're going, we're going, we're going.

All right, everybody, get comfortable.

Here we go.

[loud feedback]

Hello, everybody!

[voice cracks] And welcome!

The state flower of Hawaii is the hibiscus--

Latin name hibiscus.

Hawaiian name Koki'o.

Screech, just let them enjoy the scenery, huh?

They are princi-- [feedback]

They are principals, you know.

They might like education.

Sweet cakes,

I think I've found a shortcut to the cultural center.

Are you sure, lambie-pie?

Yes, poochie. Go this way.

You know, this really is a nice spot.

Anybody could fall in love here.

Are you one of those guys from the mainland

that comes to Hawaii and falls in love?

Well, you know, that depends on you.

Why don't you tell me about yourself?

So far, all I know is,

you're a phony exterminator and a lousy sailor.

What, don't you like guys in uniform?

I like you better like this.

So?

You gonna tell me about yourself?

All right, my life. Where do you want to start?

Anywhere.

Okay.

Well, I was born on a smoggy July day in L.A.

My mother says

I hit on the first nurse who gave me a bath,

and my father says I ran a football pool in the nursery.

But you know how parents exaggerate.

Yeah, I sure do.

But in your case, it's probably the truth.

There we go.

You already have a beautiful tan, Kelly.

Thank you.

Do you want me to put some suntan lotion on your back?

Well, if you think I need it.

Here we go.

The ocean is so beautiful out here.

This is really nice of you, Brian.

Oh, thanks.

But I must confess,

it's not that big of a favor.

I've been dying to get to know you better.

That's even nicer.

Listen, Kelly, I need to talk to you about something.

I-- I think it's really great

what you and your friends are doing for Harry,

but I'm concerned about it, too.

Why?

Well, what's gonna happen after you leave?

Harry will have enough money to avoid foreclosure,

even maybe hire a new staff.

But the Royal Pacific's just gonna tighten the screws again.

Charles Worthington's not gonna quit till he gets what he wants.

Guess I wasn't thinking that far ahead.

I know.

I've been thinking about Harry's future a lot lately.

I mean, he's almost 60 years old.

He's lonely now that your grandmother's gone.

You know, I-- I just think he'd be more comfortable back in Los Angeles,

close to your mom

and close to all of his grandchildren.

Yeah, maybe he would.

Well, sure.

You gave him one last blaze of glory at the Hideaway.

Let him sell it to Worthington.

You know? He'll pay off all his debts

and have money left over, too.

Well, have you told him all this?

Well, I've thought about it.

But I think it would mean more comin' from you. You know?

You know, Hideaway is my favorite place in the whole world.

My grandfather would be really surprised that I want him to sell it.

Well, maybe.

But he'd know that you had his best interest at heart.

Think so?

How couldn't he?

You're the most thoughtful, honest girl I've ever met.

Dear, this shortcut is taking us longer than the highway.

We should be there any minute, darling.

Screech, they're getting restless. Say something.

We'll soon be arriving at the Polynesian Cultural Center,

where we'll see a spectacular show highlighting six cultures:

Hawaiian, Tahitian, Samoan,

and can anyone name the other three? Hmm?

[groaning]

I'll give you a hint. It's not Italian.

Woo hoo hoo hoo hoo!

[groaning]

Oh, no!

[Woman] "End of the road"?

And that brings us to this summer,

and I came to Hawaii with my friends.

And at the airport,

I met the most amazing girl I've ever known.

No. You're amazing.

You always find the right things to say.

Just tellin' the truth.

That's enough about me. What about you?

Well, it'll have to wait.

It's time for me to go.

Come on. You gotta at least tell me one thing about your life.

All right.

You pick.

Okay. I pick.

Derek Worthington.

How serious are you with that guy?

Derek. Well...

he talks about getting engaged.

And what do you talk about?

I change the subject.

Good.

Now I'll change the subject.

I've never met anyone like you.

Oh, really?

Really.

I really do have to go.

Thanks for lunch.

And your life.

Well, wait. When are we gonna see each other again?

Zack, listen, um...

I think you're really nice, and...

I think you're really funny,

and I-- I love being with you.

But it's a bad idea.

Why?

Walk me back to the hotel. Okay?

Okay.

Thanks.

[grumbling]

This is great, Jessie, just great.

Oh, don't blame me. Blame the map.

Oh, sure, and blame the oven for wrecking the ham.

Uh, just be patient, everyone.

We'll be out of the woods soon. [chuckles]

Why don't you shut up?

Slater, do something.

All right. The road's getting wider.

I think I can turn around now.

I don't think you can.

When I want your opinion, I'll ask for it, okay?

You swine.

Ehh...

Ow! Oh! Sorry.

What's happening?

It's stuck!

Told you so.

[Man] Come on.

- Thank you. - You bet.

Well, I had a wonderful time, Brian.

So did I.

Just went too quick, that's all.

You sure you have to come back so early?

Well, if I want to talk to my grandfather about selling,

I want to do it alone,

before the guests get back from their tours.

All right. You know best.

Well, thanks again.

Sure. Good luck with Harry.

Goodbye.

Aloha, Kelly. I'll see you soon.

Okay.

Come on.

Oh, hi, sweetheart.

This is Jennifer, my daughter.

Well, hi, Jennifer. I'm Zack.

I believe I made it clear to you

that construction must start on time

if we're to have an Easter opening.

So...

you can understand my concern

that the Hawaiian Hideaway is back in business,

just when I was expecting them to accept my offer.

Mr. Worthington, don't worry.

I'll deliver Harry Bannister.

I've even talked to his granddaughter

about helping us out,

and I must say,

I was extremely convincing.

Ta-da! There you go.

Well, what do you think of it?

Mmm, it's great, but now let's build a really big one.

Okay. But I can't do it now.

I gotta get back to my hotel.

Well, when can you play with me again?

Tell you what. I'll go find out.

But first, go back to your babysitter

while I go ask your mom, okay?

Okay.

Mom, I want to play with Zack tomorrow!

Ah...

You're good with kids.

Well, it's easy with a terrific kid like her.

So...

want to know the whole story?

Sure, as much as you want to tell me.

Well...

Jennifer's father was my boyfriend in high school.

And one night, we made a big mistake.

There was no thought of marriage,

and I could not give my baby away.

So, four years later, here we are.

Okay, that's enough.

So now maybe you understand about Derek.

No. I still think he's a jerk.

Look, Zack,

water ski instructors do not make a whole lot of money.

I couldn't go to college

because I had to work to support Jennifer,

and that limits the number of jobs that I can get.

So I'm struggling to make ends meet,

and the heir to a hotel fortune wants to marry me.

Wait a minute. You don't love him.

But I do love Jennifer.

Marrying Derek would guarantee her all the possibilities I can't give her.

All right, all right.

That's the argument for it,

but the argument against it, I mean,

the guy is a rat.

I mean, look what he's doing to the Hawaiian Hideaway.

What do you mean?

Well, the Royal Pacific is using every dirty trick in the book

against Kelly's grandfather just 'cause they want his land.

All right, if that's true, that's Derek's father.

- You can't blame him. - No? Wait a minute.

You think the heir to the fortune doesn't know what his old man is doin'?

Hey! Come here, you.

Mom, I've got a great idea.

Zack can come over for dinner tonight.

No, honey. Remember, tonight

we're having dinner at the hotel with Uncle Derek.

Do we have to?

Oh, what a terrific kid.

Tell you what.

To make up for the boring time you're gonna have tonight,

why don't you come to the Hideaway tomorrow for our luau?

I'll let you know.

Well, I gotta get back to work.

Bye, Jennifer.

Talk her into it.

- Bye, Andrea. - Bye, Zack.

Thanks for lunch.

I really like him, Mommy.

Me, too.

Me, too.

So you think it's time for me to sell the place.

Well, I think you're having so much trouble with it now.

And we'd love to have you back home,

with the family.

Oh, I don't know, Kelly.

This has been my home ever since I got out of the Navy

and decided to stay here.

I've put 30 years of my life into the Hideaway.

It would be real hard for me to call it quits.

I know it would, Grandpa.

You know, I remember sitting here

when I was 4 or 5 years old,

making shell necklaces with Grandma.

Yeah. You gave me one. I still have it.

I have so many memories here, Grandpa.

I would hate to think that the Hideaway wouldn't be here

for me to come back to,

but it still might be time for you to sell it.

I don't know, Kelly.

I promise to give it a whole lot of thought, okay?

Okay.

If you had just listened to me--

When you were turning around in the mud--

Brace yourselves. We've just had a disaster,

and it's all Jessie's fault.

What does it matter whose fault it was?

Sure. You're just saying that 'cause it was yours!

Wait a minute. What was the disaster?

- Well-- - Hi, everybody.

Oh, what happened to you?

Thanks to Christopher Columbus over here,

we got lost on the way to the Cultural Center.

And thanks to muscle brain,

the bus got stuck in the mud turning around.

So how'd you get it out?

- Well, we-- - Hey, hey,

I'm warning all of you.

My group is ready to leave.

They didn't travel 2,000 miles

to break their backs pushing some bus.

If this group leaves, I'll have no choice but to sell.

All right, everybody, hold on. Let's not panic.

I mean, Mr. Belding,

I'm sorry you missed the show at the Cultural Center,

but tomorrow night is the big luau.

Your group will love it.

Yeah, well...

Let me--

If they don't,

I guarantee you, they're pulling out.

Ohh...

What's the matter with him?

Well, you know Belding.

So, what's for supper, Lisa?

40 TV dinners. Just pop 'em in the oven.

TV dinners? You were supposed to cook.

Well, you didn't expect me to stay inside on a day like this.

Lisa, you're just as bad as Jessie.

Oh, there you go again, you male chauvinist pig.

Right. I am a pig. Why don't you put me in the oven and burn me?

Don't tempt me.

All right! I win $100. I'll take cash.

♪♪

Ahem.

Welcome.

It is time to officially begin the luau,

with the removal of the Kahlua pig.

Chef Screech.

Thank you.

Four hours ago, we stuffed the pig with hot stones

and then buried it in the sand.

Now it's steamed to perfection.

Brothers, dig it up.

How deep did you bury it?

Well, not that deep, I thought.

Are you sure you're digging in the right place?

Well, of course I am.

It's just opposite those two palm trees.

Or was it those two palm trees?

- Oh, no. - Or--

You lost the pig?

You idiot!

Just for that, Lisa, you can't have seconds.

If we find it.

Oh, no, no, no. You're gonna find it,

or we're gonna bury you under the sand.

Then how will you find me?

Shut up.

Uh, ha ha...

It seems it's taking a little longer than we thought.

Uh, why don't you all take your seats

for our spectacular stage show?

It's gonna be great, isn't it?

- Yeah. - Yeah!

Let's go. Here we go. All right.

Okay, guys, let's get into our costumes.

Right.

I always thought you were kidding me

with those stories about Screech.

I wish.

Huah! Huah!

[cheering, applause]

Hey, did I tell you?

My girl's out there, Slater. She's out there.

- Is that her daughter with her? - Yeah.

What's the matter? You don't like kids?

No. I love kids, Zack.

But I don't think I'm ready to be a father to one.

Oh, you don't understand.

What do you mean?

Well, remember how much I cared about Kelly?

Yeah.

Well, I love Andrea even more than that.

I understand, but remember, you just met her.

Doesn't matter. It feels like I've known her my whole life.

Look, Zack, she's older than you are,

and she's a mother.

Maybe you should slow down, huh?

It's too late. I can't slow down.

All I'm saying, as your friend,

is think it over.

Yeah. I have thought it over.

I've got to find a way to be with Andrea.

We saw you and Brian Handsome

checking each other out, Kelly.

Come on, Lisa, we're just friends.

Oh! Well, if you don't want him, Kelly,

I'll trade you Slater and throw in the rest of the football team.

Oh, that's a steal. I mean, Brian's gorgeous,

he's a lawyer, he's got a yacht.

He's a 10 going on 11.

Yeah, he is sweet, isn't he?

Sweet?

Frosted Flakes are sweet, honey.

This man is the whole enchilada.

Okay. I'll admit it.

I'm crazy about him.

Aah!

What do we do, Chief Screech?

[ruff ruff]

H-Hey! Heh heh heh heh.

Dig!

♪♪ [loud drums]

♪♪ [rock]

Everybody, I found the pig!

[cheering]

Come on!

To the pig!

[Man] Let's eat!

Oh, Kelly.

Kelly, it's just like old times.

Well.

Jennifer, what was your favorite part of the show?

When Screech found the pig.

Zack, we had a great time tonight,

but now I have to get Jennifer to bed.

- Mommy, I'm not tired. - Yes, you are.

Tell you what. I'll walk you to your car,

and I'll carry you.

- Ooh! - Come on.

Okay.

Tickle monster.

Excuse me.

Uh-huh. Huh?

Hey, you can relax now, Harry.

Your guests aren't going anywhere.

Hey!

Honey, I did think about what you said.

But I-- I look around tonight

and see all these happy faces,

and I know this is what I want.

This is where I want to stay.

And even if things get rough again, I...

I'm just not ready to put myself out to pasture.

You understand?

I understand.

Hey, you two.

Hey, Brian.

Say, you haven't said anything about the show.

What can I say, Harry?

You still play a mean ukulele.

And one of the hula girls was positively beautiful.

Now, who could he be talkin' about?

[chuckles]

- Brian, can I talk to you? - Why, sure.

I'll talk to you later, Harry.

Okay, Brian.

Okay. There's my 50.

And mine.

Easiest money I ever made.

Now, if you'll excuse me,

the malls are open for another hour.

See what your big mouth cost us?

My big mouth?

- Shh. - Yeah.

Shh.

So...

I haven't always liked your answer to this question...

but tonight I'm feeling confident.

When am I gonna see you again?

Anytime you want, Zack.

I really did try to convince him.

I know you did. That's all right.

It's Harry's decision. We gotta respect it.

I'll just do everything I can to help him.

Grandpa's lucky to have a friend like you.

And a granddaughter like you.

I must go.

Okay.

All right.

Takes a little while to warm up.

Why don't you go on back to Harry?

Okay. Good night.

Mmm. Good night.

Yes, I know, Mr. Worthington.

Look, I was convincing.

It was the granddaughter who wasn't.

Don't worry. There's always Plan B.

Points a finger a little more than I would like,

but it will achieve our purpose.

Why don't you prepare your friends at the bank

for a showdown on the loan extension?

Hmm.

♪♪ [surf rock]

♪ Oo-oo-oo-ooh ♪

♪ Surfin', surfin', surfin', surfin' ♪

♪ Early in the mornin' till 8 in the evenin' ♪

♪ Down at the beach all day ♪

♪ Checkin' out the girls with their tans and their curls ♪

♪ Soon I'll be catchin' a wave ♪

♪ Any time I'm in the ocean ♪

♪ I feel a tide of emotion ♪

♪ Gettin' set for a good time ♪

♪ Headin' down to the shoreline ♪

♪ Surfer dude ♪

♪ Oo-oo-oo-ooh ♪

♪ Grab your friends and take 'em to a place ♪

♪ Where it's fun in the sun all day ♪

♪ Surfer dude ♪

♪ Win or lose, it really doesn't matter ♪

♪ 'Cause love could be on the way ♪

♪ You'll get caught up in the motion ♪

♪ Like a tide in the ocean ♪

♪ Got a good feelin' inside ♪

♪ I'm gonna take you for a ride ♪

♪ Surfer dude ♪

♪ We're gonna turn every way but loose ♪

♪ Oo-oo-ooh ♪

♪ You're gonna be feelin' so fine ♪

♪ I think that maybe we're ready ♪

♪ Oo-oo-ooh ♪

♪ We're ready, ready for a good time ♪

♪ In the sand, the surf, and the sunshine ♪

♪ Get set for a good time ♪

♪ Gettin' down to the shoreline ♪

♪ Surfer dude ♪

♪ Oo-oo-oo-ooh ♪

♪ Grab your friends and take 'em to the place ♪

♪ Where it's fun in the sun all day ♪

♪ Surfer dude ♪

♪ Win or lose, it really doesn't matter ♪

♪ 'Cause love could be on the way ♪

♪ The only life for me ♪

♪ Is the sand and sea ♪

♪ Surfer dude ♪

♪ Surfer dude ♪

♪ Surfer dude ♪

♪ Surfer dude ♪

$21,412.

Yes, sir. That's all the back mortgage I owe,

including interest and penalties.

But, Mr. Bannister,

you still owe us the balance of your loan.

That's another $50,000.

Wait a minute, Mr. Warburton. We filed an extension on the loan.

Mr. Bannister has another year to pay off the balance.

That's right.

There's no loan extension in Mr. Bannister's file.

Those moneys are owed now.

Harry, last summer, I sent you extension papers

to sign and return to the bank, remember?

But didn't you say to send them back to you?

No. And in any case, I never received 'em.

We're aware of an existing offer

to purchase Mr. Bannister's property,

and the potential buyer is also our customer.

Well, George... where do we stand?

Mr. Bannister stands on the brink of foreclosure, Charles.

So, Bannister, not so long ago,

you called my offer insulting.

Tsk tsk tsk tsk.

But considering your current situation,

I'd say it's more than fair.

Well, what does all this mean?

It means, sweetheart,

unless I sell right now,

I'll lose everything I've got.

Maybe I can do something...

talk to Derek or his father.

I appreciate the offer, Andrea,

but I've already agreed to the sale.

I just don't understand how they maneuvered you into it, Harry.

The details don't matter.

They just took advantage of a foul-up

between me and my lawyer.

Did it have anything to do with the loan extension?

How did you know?

Well, I just overheard Brian discussing it with someone on his car phone.

Brian?

When?

After the luau, right after he kissed Kelly.

Lisa, you were spying on us?

Hey, this guy sounds like he was worth spying on.

How dare you!

Brian has put his whole heart into helping Grandpa.

He's been willing to work for nothing.

Sometimes you get what you pay for.

Kelly, when you were encouraging me to sell,

was that an idea you got from Brian?

Well, he-- he talked about it, but--

Okay, okay. Don't feel bad, sweetheart.

He fooled me, too.

I'm so sorry, Grandpa.

I'm gonna kill him.

You do, and I'll kill you.

Zack, I think your loyalties are a wee bit twisted.

Now, look, Brian is the most valuable ally we've got.

See, we know he's tied to Worthington,

but he doesn't know that we know it.

Zack, it's too late.

No, Harry, it's never too late.

- Where's Brian now? - Well, at his office.

He was gonna tear it upside-down looking for that loan extension,

although he's sure it's not there.

You know, he's right.

Those missing papers never turn up.

The Pukuku have been looking for the lost deed to their land since 1872.

Will you stop it with your cuckoo Pukuku?

Don't hit him. He's given me an idea.

You see, all we need is some kind of proof that the Pukuku own the land.

Then Worthington can't build on it.

Yeah?

I mean, I've got it.

Let's get started.

Well, Professor Jameson's the world's foremost expert on Polynesian culture.

Zack gave him the parchment as soon as the Pukuku found it.

That's-- That's great.

Well, uh, the professor's office is inside this building.

Come on. Let's go. Come on.

Ahem.

Oh, this will never work.

Why not? We've done stuff like this

a million times in your office, Mr. Belding.

- Huh? - Yeah.

Come on.

Hello. It's Kelly Kapowski.

Hi, Kelly. Come on in.

Hey, Zack.

- How you doin'? - Good.

Meet Professor Jameson.

Oh, it's a pleasure to meet you.

I'd like to introduce Brian Hanson, my grandfather's lawyer.

Uh, pl-pl-pleased to meet you both.

Yes. Now, why don't you sit down

and listen to what the professor has to tell you.

Make yourselves comfortable.

Go ahead, professor.

Ahem.

- Professor. - Hmm?

Tell them about the parchment.

Yes, the, uh, the parchment.

Uh, is it authentic, professor?

Uh, well, hmm...

without a doubt.

What exactly is it?

Well, uh...

it's a-- a land deed from the year 1797,

signed by King Kamehameha himself.

See, it-- it-- it-- it defines the boundaries

of the Pukuku sacred ground.

Why, that means land where only the tribe can live

and land that no one else can build on, right, Professor?

Correct, my young friend.

And what are the boundaries?

Ahem.

Uh, well, uh...

The Pukuku land

stops just short of your grandfather's resort,

but this entire area here--

That's all part of the Royal Pacific expansion.

Whatever.

This entire area officially belongs to the Pukuku.

Not only that,

the Pukuku tribal ground extends

here to the Royal Pacific Hotel itself.

What?

Mr. Worthington built his hotel where he shouldn't have been building.

Now, I am not an attorney, young man,

but I'd imagine that the Pukuku

could sue the Royal Pacific for, um...

millions in damage--

make that hundreds of millions in damages.

Now, now, wait a minute, Professor.

Let's not jump to conclusions.

Jump? Who's jumping?

Do you-- you know the motto of this state, Mr. Hanson?

Ua mau ke ea o ka aina I ka pono:

The life of the land is preserved in righteousness.

Now, I'm not the kind of man to just make this thing up--

- Ahem! Ahem! - Ahem.

Well, put it this way:

Mr. Worthington has made a very big boo-boo.

- Well. Yes. Apparently, he has. - [Belding] Mm-hmm.

Listen, Kelly, I think that I should take this deed

and find out the best way for us to use it.

Uh, whatever you think, Brian.

Thank you, Professor. It's been wonderful.

- Mmm. - Yeah.

Ehh...

Oh, man, you were fantastic, Mr. B!

I mean, a little hammy here and there,

but fantastic, huh?

I don't know. I don't know.

I mean, assuming a false identity,

taking over another man's office?

I'm just glad I'm getting off this island tomorrow

while I still have the chance.

Ah, come on. I mean,

that crooked lawyer did a lot worse to Harry and Kelly.

True. True.

So I was fantastic, huh?

Pukuku!

[both laugh]

[phone rings]

Brian Hanson.

[fake voice] Mr. Hanson,

I'm callin' for Charles Worthington.

He'd like you to meet him at his office

in about a half hour, if that's at all possible.

Oh, that'll be fine.

Tell him I want to see him about something myself.

Uh-huh. Thank you. Bye.

Who was that?

Oh, that was just a client.

Listen, I want to go straight to my office.

Do you mind taking a taxi cab back to the Hideaway?

- Of course not. - You're an angel.

Oh, and good work.

555-6755.

[fake voice] Hello.

Yes, I'm callin' for Brian Hanson.

Mm-hmm. He'd like to meet Mr. Worthington in about a half hour.

Yeah, he said to tell him it's urgent.

Thank you.

Yes!

[phone buzzes]

Yes.

Urgent?

All right. Tell Mr. Hanson I'll be waiting for him.

Excuse us. Electrical emergency.

You'll have to step out of your office, sir.

What? What emergency?

Your meter box is shooting off sparks.

The problem is on this floor,

and we have to check every outlet.

How long will it take?

Well, the sooner we start, the sooner we'll be done.

Okay, Screech, set the camera up.

Yes, yes. Do it.

Hurry up. He's supposed to be there by now.

Patience, my friend.

Okay, I think we're patched in.

[no audio]

Great.

Turn up the sound.

Oh, and would you like popcorn with that?

Ohhh...

Look, Mr. Worthington, whatever you wanted to see me about,

this is more important.

I wanted to see you?

I know, but I have something crucial to show you.

[phone buzzes] [knock on door]

Get that.

Let me just get this call.

Yes?

No, no, I can't talk now. I'm really very busy.

So. How's it goin'?

Perfect timing.

The entertainment's just started.

I'll call him back.

I've just come from the university,

and you wouldn't believe what I picked up there.

[Worthington] What is this?

Be careful of it, sir.

It's astounding, isn't it?

This moldy old piece of paper could destroy me.

All these years,

I've been building my empire on somebody else's land.

What are we gonna do about it, Dad?

I think you know the answer to that question, son.

Watch this, boys.

I can't believe I dated that sleaze ball.

Hey, I envy you. I dated Brian.

Shh. This is it.

Hey, I think I can zoom in for a close-up.

Leave it alone.

Oh!

That's the end of those crazies.

- No one will know. - We got 'em.

Save our land! Save our land!

Save our land! Save our land!

Save our land! Save our land!

Save our land!

Come on, wave 'em, guys.

Save our land! Save our land!

Save our land! Save our land!

Save our land! Save our land!

Here comes our friend, the rat.

Save our land! Save our land!

You know, he expects us to believe

he gave that parchment to three different experts,

and they all swore it was a forgery.

We all know what he really did with it.

I'm really gonna kill him.

Kelly, I know you're upset,

and killing is the right idea,

but not now, trust me.

You sure this isn't gonna be too painful for you?

No, no, Brian.

I was here 30 years ago at the beginning,

and I sure want to be here at the end.

[Reporters] Mr. Worthington!

Mr. Worthington, we understand you intend to open this expansion next Easter.

That's correct, Larry.

Not only do I intend to, but I will.

Uh, any comment, sir,

on the continued protest by the Pukuku tribe?

Well, they have no valid claim to this land.

It's a shame they want to stand in the way of progress,

Still, I have the greatest respect for all our native tribes.

In fact, many of our new suites

are going to be decorated in authentic Polynesian motifs.

Over here for the groundbreaking.

[all talking at once]

You gotta see this tape we shot.

Is he annoying with that, or what?

No. Not really.

Here. Take a look, Brian.

What?

Kelly, don't your friends understand what's about to happen here?

They sure do.

Go ahead, Brian. Look.

You need sound for the full effect.

This moldy old piece of paper could destroy me.

It don't look so good, Brian.

Not yet.

I think you'd better go show that tape to Mr. Worthington.

Right.

Say, why don't we get my son in the picture?

This will all be his someday.

Derek, come on! [chuckles]

Mr. Worthington, I need to speak with you.

Can't you see I'm busy?

It's an emergency.

Folks, I'll be right back.

Yes, sir.

- Excuse me. - Excuse me.

Thank you. Thank you.

The hotel better be on fire, Brian.

It's worse. Look in here. Look in the lens.

Here.

All these years,

I was building my empire on somebody else's land.

Andrea, I've been trying to call you.

Where you been?

Dad, what are you lookin' at?

All right, how much is this tape going to cost?

Oh, no, no, no. You can have it.

You see, we've got the original.

Zack, you should be my new lawyer.

I'm kickin' out the old one.

- Dad, what's goin' on? - Shut up, Derek.

You can't prove that land deed was real.

And you can't prove it wasn't.

And it sure looks like you thought it was real on the tape.

The Pukuku could have a lot of fun with that in court.

- You mean-- - I said shut up, Derek!

Now, what's it going to cost to keep this tape confidential?

First, you call off the groundbreaking,

and then you sell the Hideaway back to Harry,

and he'll pay the same amount you paid him.

That price is insulting. You said so yourself.

Well, considering your current situation,

I'd say it's more than fair.

And then you leave the Hideaway alone...

forever.

Mr. Worthington, as your lawyer,

I'd advise you--

What makes you think you're still my lawyer?

You're fired.

And you'll never work on this island again.

All right.

You've got a deal.

Great. Now call off the party.

One last thing.

Was that deed real?

You'll never know.

Guess you shouldn't have burned it.

Stop! Camera thief!

[Harry] Ha ha!

Andrea,

I have a real good explanation for all this.

No, you don't.

Have a nice life, Derek.

You sure were cool with Worthington.

Hey, after all my run-ins with Belding,

this was a breeze.

Now?

Now! Now! Now!

Brian.

Kelly, I'm really--

Whoa!

[cheers, applause]

Wow!

Hey, that's my granddaughter!

Did you see that right?

Ha ha ha!

♪♪ [Hawaiian]

The Pukuku stew is ready.

Some vacation, huh, mama?

I can't believe it'll all be over by tomorrow.

You know, I've been thinking.

It's crazy the way we fight all the time.

We really love each other.

Let's never fight again, okay?

I'll kiss to that.

200 bucks says you'll be fighting before the plane lands.

[clicks tongue]

There you are, my boss.

Thank you, Keanu.

- Boss? - Well, yeah.

Now that I've saved my people's land,

the Pukukus would like to work closer to home.

I knew Harry needs a staff, so I made a suggestion.

Chief Screech is always looking out for us.

We know they can cook.

But I told Screech we'd have to hire a manager

from outside the tribe

to kind of oversee everything.

Well, that's a smart move, Harry.

Just don't hire Derek.

No, not Derek, Andrea.

You.

Me?

I'm only hiring you under certain conditions.

I won't pay you more than five times

what you were getting at the Royal Pacific,

and you've got to start taking night classes at the university.

I always wanted to go back to school.

But, Harry, if you're serious about hiring me as a manager,

- I wouldn't have time to-- - We'll work it out,

and you'll have plenty of time to be with Jennifer, too.

And if you're interested in studying archaeology,

Zack has an in with the professor at the college.

That was Mr. Belding, you goofball.

Oh.

Okay, let's eat, let's eat.

I'm not that hungry.

Want to take a walk?

Sure. Yeah.

I don't want to say goodbye.

I know. Neither do I.

This has been the best two weeks of my life.

Mine, too, Zack.

You know, look. I was thinking.

I mean, I'm gonna be 18 soon, and then I can do what I want.

I could quit school and move to Hawaii.

I bet Harry would give me a job--

- Zack, you can't. - But I love you.

And I love Jennifer.

And I want to be with you.

I'm not gonna let you make a big mistake like I did.

I want you to go back home,

finish high school, and go to college.

None of that means as much as being with you.

I know you love me, Andrea, I know it.

- I do love you, Zack. - Okay, then.

But that's why I'm saying this.

Look...

I missed my graduation because I was in labor.

It's taken me four years just to begin to get it back together.

I almost wrecked my life,

and I'm not gonna let you do the same thing to yours.

Even if we love each other?

Because we love each other.

All right.

If I do all that--

I finish school and everything

and I still want to be with you...

Then you sure as heck better come straight back here

and look me up.

Thanks for everything, sir.

Come here.

You have done everything your ancestor foretold.

We will never forget you, Chief Screech.

Every day, we will sing your praises.

Brothers, please. Don't get carried away.

Once or twice a week is enough.

Your new staff looks pretty good.

Well, they'll never be as good as the one I'm losing.

Thanks for everything, Kelly.

Oh. I, uh, found a little memento for you.

It's the shell necklace you made with your grandma.

You keep it. We made it for you.

I love you, Grandpa.

I love you, Kelly.

I'm gonna miss you.

Aw.

Goodbye.

Okay.

Come here.

Goodbye.

Bye, Zack.

I'll write you every day.

Well, once I learn how to write.

Oh, yeah?

Bye.

Come on, bud.

♪ When today is just a memory ♪

♪ Oo-oo-ooh ♪

♪ We'll be lookin' back on yesterday ♪

Wait, wait, wait. Me, me, me.

♪ These were the best times of our lives ♪

♪ And they'll never fade away ♪

[Screech] And so,

our Hawaiian adventure comes to an end.

You know, I think there's one Hawaiian word

that would be appropriate here.

It means hello, good-bye,

and to remember with affection.

Aloha.

♪ Never fade away ♪