Original subtitles

Frank, you know if you double -team Michael Jordan, they're just going to

the ball off to Scotty Kipp. Thank you, Pat Riley. You think you know so much

about this game. Why don't you just quit your job and go coach for the Knicks or

something? Oh, please.

Not another conversation about sports.

Just once. Can't we talk about something everybody's interested in?

Did anyone see the article in today's paper on sun -dried tomatoes?

Oh, let's break it up. I'm already running 40 minutes behind.

What's wrong with your eye, Miles?

What's wrong?

Pop a little blood vessel.

Doctor said it's probably stress -related.

Nothing serious. It should clear up by tomorrow.

So what if it happened while I was asleep?

Why should I worry just because I'm hemorrhaging during my rest state?

I don't mean to rush you through your eye story, but there is a great

I want to do. I still have my earring. Go ahead, Frank. What is it?

I want to interview Eli White.

Oh, very topical, Frank.

Nobody uses the cotton gin anymore.

I think he's dead.

Not Eli Whitney, Corky.

Eli White, the poet. The one who wrote the best -selling book about the New

Men's Movement. Ah, here we go. The New Men's Movement. Ever since it was

glorified on the cover of Newsweek, I knew that thing would find its way in

here. And why do you guys need a movement in the first place?

Tired of getting higher pay for the same jobs?

I know, I know. Look, I was put off by all the hype, too. But then, I read the

book.

New men, old pain.

Geez, Frank, did you actually pay for that?

Yes, and I'm glad I did. I suddenly realized what society has done to men.

not allowed to express our feelings, have any emotions.

I'm telling you, this book was an amazing journey for me. I feel like I

bonded with all my fellow brothers. Ladies and gentlemen, Helen Reddy.

Eli White says that men need to break away from the nine -to -five routine

caught in.

He tells us to pound the ancient drum, explore tribal rituals.

The book is filled with forgotten myths and poems that connect us to the wisdom

of our male ancestors. Some wisdom. Life will be great if we just sacrifice a

virgin.

And you're still doing that.

There's got to be more to it than that, Murphy. New Man, Old Pain has been on

the bestseller list for 42 weeks.

And if I ever get my eyesight back, I may take a look at it. I can't believe

haven't read it, Miles. It'll completely transform you.

Jim, did you read the copy I gave you?

Yes, I did.

I got as far as the part about how men should be able to cry in public, and I

tossed it into the fireplace.

Frank, if you want to go into your yard and do the dance of the lost antelope,

that's your business, but leave me out of it.

I'm a Presbyterian, for God's sake.

Look at you two guys. You can't even hear yourselves crying out for help.

That's why Eli White has these workshops.

Yeah, right, expensive workshops.

You want to cry, Frank? Give me 300 bucks. I'll hit you with a hammer.

You are so wrong, Murphy. He only charges $15 per man, and that is just to

the cost of renting the ritual space.

The ritual space?

Where's that?

The Ramada Inn off I -95.

Your ritual space is at the Ramada Inn. This is tragic. What are some of the

rituals? The breaking of the sacred toilet seat seal? The filling of the

ice bucket? Geez, Frank, you're so deep into this guru, you lost your

objectivity. He is not a guru. He's a very real, genuine man.

There's obviously a very hot story here. So I've made a decision that I hope

everyone will accept. Quiet. Captain Blood Plot, the corporate pirate, is

to speak.

We are going to have Eli White on the show. All right, Matt.

However, and this is what separates the greats from the almost greats, Frank

will not do the interview. What?

Murphy will do the interview.

Why? Because I want this interview to be in -depth and challenging and not just

a showcase for Eli White. You know, Miles, you have a point.

When smart guys like Frank get caught up in something that I think is a scam, it

fares looking into.

All right, fine.

You be as tough as you need to be, but I promise you this movement is legit.

It'll even stand up to Murphy Brown.

Unbelievable.

I can't believe this.

This is me. I'm in this book. We're all in the book, Miles.

It says that all men fall into one of four basic categories depending on the

kind of relationship they have with their father.

Jim, let's look you up.

Did you have the absent unnurturing father or the overbearing emasculating

father? Check, please.

Listen to this. Type two.

Corporate man. The pressure of conforming. Pressure? Pressure? My eyes?

lost, alone, hiding emotions behind the sterile blue flannel of his corporate

uniform.

Oh, God. Frank. Jim, I got a lump in my throat. Check, check, check.

Jim, why does this make you so uncomfortable?

You've got to learn to open up.

Come on.

Talk to me.

Talk to me.

Oh, for heaven's sake, Frank, I'll get enough of this at home.

Don't go yet.

There's something that I need to tell you guys.

I want you to promise me now that you're going to react to this like the open

-minded people that I know you are.

I signed all three of us up for Eli White's workshop this Sunday. There are

ten men allowed in. It was filling up fast. You don't have to come. I just

thought it would be a good way for us to get closer together.

Geez, I don't know, Frank. I've got budget reports. I've got my condo

association. Oh, listen to you. The curse of the corporate man.

What are you waiting for? You're right. Actually, pop right out of your head.

What about you, Jim? I'd rather cha -cha with Sam Donaldson.

Thank you, boys.

Thank you. Maybe next time you'll listen to me instead of those clowns at ESPN.

Well, well, well. Look who's here.

It isn't Pearl Magnum, Peking, and Mongolian Man.

What are you guys doing here, attracting woolly mammoths?

I simply came in here to catch the fight and got sucked up in Frank's vortex of

need.

How's the story going, Murphy? Pretty good. I asked Eli White to meet me here

for the pre -interview. I thought he'd be more comfortable among his own kind.

The more comfortable he is, the better chance he'll slip up.

There he is.

The big kahuna.

Mr. White, I'm Murphy Brown. Thank you for meeting me here. Pleasure's all

I've been a fan for a long time.

Thank you. This is our executive producer... Miles Silverberg.

Sight to man.

Our senior anchor, Jim Dial.

True.

And Frank Fontana.

Hi.

I want you to know that I was... I was very moved by your book.

Thank you.

Frank's the reason FYI is doing the interview.

Well, I suppose I should thank you, Frank, but then I've never seen myself

television. The Acoma Indians have a saying, don't look in the pond if you

to believe you're beautiful.

Mr.

White? Please, Eli.

Eli, I'd like to tell you that I'll be coming to your workshop this Sunday.

What about you, Miles?

Uh, well, if I...

can move my condo meeting to Saturday and work in my budget reports on Friday,

which means rescheduling my lunch with the head of legal so I can move my

meeting with the electrician's union. Oh, God, Eli, help me!

Jim, I'm golfing.

Uh, excuse me, guys, but could you do your bonding on someone else's time?

got work to do. All right, I'll see you both on Sunday.

Eli, thank you for coming. I just have a few questions to ask you, and then I'll

let you go. Of course.

But I must tell you, Murphy, I'm a little disappointed that it's you doing

interview.

Oh, why is that?

I hope this doesn't sound sexist, but I think it would be easier for a man to

understand deep masculine feelings, just as it would be easier for a woman to

talk about the female experience.

Ah, well, I think I did a pretty good job of understanding the students at

Tiananmen Square, the blacks in South Africa.

I'll try to do the same for your men at the Ramada Inn.

You think we're pretty foolish, don't you?

Bunch of grown men in a room pounding on a drum and listening to a lot of old

poems.

But there's something about being away from the office, the factory, the home,

the women.

A remarkable thing happens.

All it takes is one act of bravery.

One man to tell his truth.

Little by little, they all begin to open up, and I'm telling you, they amaze

themselves with the depth of their feelings.

You're very good, but I still don't get it. You rent a room, you read some

Viking poems, and CPAs all across the country are having cathartic

breakthroughs?

I don't read the poems. I relate them.

Never underestimate the power of the human voice.

The boy... came home, his clothes all in rags, all in rags,

his face gray with ashes from a trip down the well.

The hawk had flown, the wife cried loud, at the well, at the well,

no water was found.

At the well, at the well, the spoon filled with dust.

Boy became a man.

At the well.

At the well.

Phil, you read this book?

Little Phil gave it to me for Father's Day.

Best book I read since Ed McMahon's Barside Companion.

Jim, are you all right?

Me? Oh, yes, I'm fine.

Did I mention I golf?

Every Sunday.

Right over there near the Ramada Inn.

Let me come to the workshop.

Don't think I can do that.

Men have a harder time opening up around women.

I'm not a woman. I'm Murphy Brown.

Come on, make an exception this one time. If I don't fully understand what's

going on, then I won't be able to help my viewers understand.

You couldn't participate.

You'd have to leave your personal feelings and judgments outside.

Would you be able to do that?

Piece of cake.

his strength and bravery for coming this morning.

We embrace the spirit of Hepwa.

His strength and bravery fills us, carries us on the wind,

on the wind.

Hi! I'm sorry, I had to park way down the tracks. The guy wanted four bucks to

valet park my car.

Wow, that's a big drum. I'll just sit right over here. You won't even notice

Go ahead, go ahead.

We start by calming our minds and opening ourselves to the spirit of the

Spirit of our hearts.

We are moving far away from this place.

Far, far away from this place.

Room service. Right here.

Here are two eggs scrambled and wheat toast.

Oh, great. Thanks a lot. Here you go. Keep the change. Thanks.

Sorry, I'm pregnant.

Food is very important to me. You know, spirit of the stomach, spirit of the

toast.

Today, we are all one man.

We acknowledge our similarity by intoning the Indian word ho.

Ho!

Say it with me.

Ho.

It is a ritual talking stick.

It is a tool to use to express your deep feelings.

It guarantees the floor to whomever holds it.

Who will be the first?

I will.

I mean, who?

I'm Frank Fontana.

And, uh...

I'm not sure what to say.

That's a good honest start, Frank. Go ahead, share anything with us you like,

except try to avoid the usual traps of talking about sports or money. We'll be

out of here in five minutes.

Okay, here goes.

I like Chinese food.

All right, deeper.

Someday I'd like to own a dog.

Deeper.

I don't think I've ever really satisfied a woman in bed.

I respect you.

like my clothes.

And I had an excellent relationship with my father.

He was a man's man.

No matter what happened, he never let it get to him.

When I was 10, he fell on hard times as a stockbroker. In one day, he lost his

job and most of his friends.

I came home from school that day, and there he was, reading his paper just

he always did.

But I noticed...

He had this very sad look in his eyes.

I walked over and I climbed up onto the arm of his big leather chair.

And before I knew what was happening, I leaned over and I kissed him.

And he turned to me and he said, now, now, son, a real man doesn't give in to

his emotions.

Well, that pretty much summed up the man.

Stoic.

Cold sometimes.

Occasionally able to make a young boy feel like a real fool.

A real man doesn't give in to his emotions. What a jackass thing to say.

I wasn't a real man. I was Tam.

I've carried that around for years.

at this movement.

And look what you've done to Jim.

Hi, Merchant.

Pull yourself together. Here, give me that.

Here. No.

Whoever holds the stick has the floor.

I've watched you all day.

Use jokes and judgments to cover your own feelings.

I think you have some things to share with us. No, I don't. Please, go ahead.

Express yourself.

You have the stick.

Walking stick.

Right, right. This is serious.

This is the part where I'm supposed to hold out the stick and blame my father

for something.

Okay, okay.

My father... My fa... Sorry,

guys. The worst I can do is my father wanted a boy.

Well, it's only natural.

If I were a man, I'd probably feel the same way.

I mean, at least he was honest.

He came right out and said what he was feeling.

I wanted a boy.

I wanted a boy.

How the hell did he think that was supposed to make me feel?

How do you say that to a little girl?

My turn. Hey, back off!

Now, where was I?

Oh, yeah, my father.

One time I asked him to build me a treehouse.

Hey, I could use a little drums here.

Well, it wasn't so much the idea of the... You have to always, like, look

yourself.

Morning, guys.

Morning, Frank.

So, uh... Interesting weekend, huh?

Yes, quite.

How about those Redskins?

Oh, the Redskins.

What's everybody talking about?

Football. Football?

That's all you ever talk about. I thought that workshop yesterday was

to change you.

I just want to thank you for letting me share an incredible experience.

I guess I felt threatened at first.

It's probably the way a lot of men felt at the start of the women's movement.

But I can't tell you how much I respect you guys for opening up the way you did.

You should have seen them, Corky, especially Jim.

What's he talking about, Jim?

I have no idea. I played golf yesterday.

Shot an 84, ate a turkey melt. It was home by 2 .30.

Okay, I can see why it would be hard for Jim. He's not ready to express his new

self in the office yet, but you guys... Okay, time to go to work, everybody. Go

to work. You guys were inspiring.

I can't tell you how much I'm looking forward to working with guys who are

secure enough to openly say they love each other, like you did, Frank.

Shh, I did not.

You did, just before Miles hugged you. Well, I didn't want to hug. He made me.

Let's start this day off right.

I love you guys.

I really do.

Now, say it to each other, and then hug.