Original subtitles

Now remember, Billy, while I'm going... I want you to get those daily work

reports on the colonel's desk every morning at 0900.

Jack, you sure don't give warning.

Out of the blue, you're off on a 15 -day furlough. Shh, quiet. I told you not to

breathe a word about my leaving until I'm safely on that train to New York.

Don't worry.

Sergeant Belk, I won't find out. What's the matter? You afraid he'll get a

furlough, too, and follow you to New York? Now, don't get me wrong, girls.

I'm crazy about Ernie. You know that.

But let's face it, I see him every day in the year.

Dates, dances, picnics, Ernie.

I want to spend some time with them.

Ma 'am.

You girls don't seem to understand.

These are merely friends.

I owe it to them to call them.

Sure. I'll check you outside.

You're going to stay with those two schoolgirl chums of yours?

Millie and Fern?

Not unless I'm desperate.

Well, there it is.

Now take these furlough papers to the colonel and then I'm off.

I'll see if I can wrangle a jeep to take you to the station. Good.

I'm safely seated at that ringside table at the Latin Quarter.

Here, Fender.

Have Lieutenant Anderson okay that trip ticket.

Fender, where's Skidowski with the jeep? He'll be here. He'll be here.

I don't get it, Sarge. All this secrecy and hush -hush about going on a filo.

I've heard guys make more noise getting ready to desert.

Do you believe this?

Look at these two. Don't you understand?

If Joan finds I'm going to New York, she'll want to tag along.

Yeah, but Sarge, you and Joan are... That's it. Me and Joan.

Me and... Look. Me and Joan. Swimming.

Me and Joan playing tennis. Me and Joan at the platoon picnic.

Me and Joan.

We're getting to look like Eddie and Debbie.

I thought you were crazy about her. I am crazy about her. But look, fellas, even

the oldest horses like to nuzzle in new pastures.

And when I say something with this littlest gentleman, when I get to New

there's going to be some very fine nuzzling.

Wow. Look at that list of phone numbers. Linda, Amy, Yvonne, Lola. I don't... I

like this, Sarge. Two -timing a nice girl like Joan.

You don't like it. So Waller -Rawley. Who's two -timing? I'm sharing the

You know, these poor girls haven't seen me in five years.

Five years without Bilko. Can you imagine what that's like? We haven't had

pleasure.

Ah, the groanings of a man who married too young.

Madeline, Greta, Linda, Amalia, Carol, Jaja. Stop, stop, stop.

You're frightening me.

Five years without Bilko. Can you imagine what they're like now? They're

but snarling, clawing savages.

Thank heavens I have Blue Cross.

Hey, Sarge, all those girls?

Oh, that's just a few. There were hundreds.

Look, see that? How do you think I got that way? From worry?

No, that's from giving away locks.

I gave away so many, it did something to the roots.

He's not kidding.

Cynthia, Selma, Phyllis. Oh, oh, Phyllis. Stretch that out.

What's the matter with Phyllis? That's the one I left standing in front of the

Radio City Music Hall five years ago.

Remind me to stay away from Rockefeller Center. She may be still waiting with a

gun.

There's Kodowski with the chief. On the double. Oh, here.

You, keep the football raffles going until I get back. Right, Sarge. And you,

any of the boys want some privacy, rent my room, the usual rates. Right, Sarge.

Ah, is there anything else? I just got to get the colonel to okay this, and

it's 15 days around.

I'll get it right away.

Yes, I'll call your sister when I get to New York.

New York?

Oh, Ernie, I'm terribly sorry. It's just the furlough came out of the blue. New

York?

Don't take it so hard, Ernie. You had a furlough and you said nothing?

Sergeant Bilko, about your furlough. Furlough?

Yes, an emergency. It just came up. I have to take it. You didn't fill in your

destination. My destination.

Where are you going?

Wyoming. Wyoming. Yes, Cheyenne, Wyoming.

There's this friend of mine who owns a ranch right outside of Cheyenne. It's

roundup time. He's a little short -staffed. I thought I would help him.

understand. And you're going to New York. Well, I'm... Where will you be?

Well, I just want to... I may want to get in touch with you. You never know.

Well, I haven't decided. I mean, what area will you be in? Will you be in

Manhattan, the Bronx, Staten Island? Well, as a matter of fact... I changed

mind about going to New York. I was just going to tell you, Lieutenant.

I've changed my mind. I'm going home to Sumter, South Carolina.

Sumter, South Carolina? Yeah, that's right. Hey, that's a good idea. Might be

lot of fun.

Oh, I don't know. It'd be pretty dull. Just my folks.

Dull? Can you imagine me moseying along on a horse? Get along, little duck.

Funny. Funny.

Well, um... Well, bye.

Bye. Bye. Have a nice furlough. Thank you, Lieutenant.

Say, Lieutenant, I would like to change...

in, uh... South Carolina?

South Carolina. And you have fun in, uh... Alaska. Where?

Uh, Wisconsin.

Uh, Idaho.

Oh, yeah. Wyoming.

That's such a bad sense of direction.

Goodbye, Lieutenant.

Goodbye. Bye.

I'm sure you'll enjoy yourself. I wonder if I'll run into anybody who can play

chess. Oh, yes, there's a tournament every Thursday.

Thanks very much. Won't you come home? Oh, Sergeant.

Yes, miss? We have a lovely servicemen's center here.

There's ping pong and chess. Ping pong? You must be kidding.

Well, if there's anything I can do to help you have a good time... I'll have a

good time. I'm all ready if you'll just show me where the phone booths are.

Oh, they're right over there. Thank you. No offense, I'm just not much for ping

pong. You understand?

Won't you come home, Bill Bailey?

Won't you...

Who's

the first girl?

Linda Carlton, you lucky girl.

Won't you come home, Bill Bailey?

Won't you come home?

I've been gone the whole...

In case of emergency, call Mabel, 10 -1 -2 -1 -1 -2. Oh, how desperate can you

get? Dee -dee -dee -dee -dee -dee.

Hello, Linda, baby, you lucky girl. Your troubles are over. This is...

Hello? You say your phone was disconnected. How long ago?

Three years ago.

Oh, thank you.

Oh, Stanley, I just got into town.

Did she leave a phone number?

Yes. Will you take it down?

Yeah, go ahead.

Central 6357.

Central 6357.

listed and you refuse to give it out.

May I tell you that you're speaking to a member of the armed forces?

Now what if there's an invasion?

No, no, no, little girl. Don't tell your mommy anybody called.

You're looking more familiar every minute.

Hey, Bilbo, what's going on there? Wait a minute, Lola.

Look, if you've got something else... No, no, no, no, nothing at all.

Oh, you asked something.

Limousine. Lola!

Yes? Are you still driving that 33 Essex?

Yes. Goodbye, honey, and emerge. I'll see you around, honey.

Well, my love, shall we go to your chariot?

Oh, Victor, Victor, gee, I... Hold that. Victor? Who's Victor?

Yay!

Have date. We're giving you a date, and you're coming with us. Hello, Fern.

What's up?

Look, Lenny, an old college chum of ours just got into town.

How old?

Stop joking.

Millie and I are going out tonight.

And you want to stick me with this blind date? Sorry, Fern. See you around. Bye.

Try Bill Harmon.

Oh, don't bother.

Hello, is this Hershkowitz's candy store?

Look, will you run upstairs and tell Rhoda that Ernie Bill goes on the phone?

Thank you.

But, Bill, what about your roommate?

Bob? He's got a date, too. Sorry. Bye.

Operator, will you try? I'm scraping the bottom of the barrel.

I'm sorry.

There's no answer.

Well, that does it.

Oh, Operator, what...

Who's Sam?

You know, I should talk to you the way you left me standing in front of the

musical that day.

Oh, Sam.

You dog, you.

Who's Sam?

Ernie, it's so great to see you again.

Phyllis? Are you Sam?

Oh, this is my husband, Sam Southcross.

Ernie, don't go.

Quiet, Ernie. Hello.

Phyllis has told me all about you.

I've got a lot of things I've got to thank you for, Sergeant. Phyllis,

That's the way we met, you see, when you stood me up in front of the musical.

Gosh, I wish we'd known we're on our way to Connecticut.

How about it, Ernie? A nice rest, fresh air?

Cut it out, Phyllis. A soldier on furlough in New York?

Say, if you don't have a date, I've got a very pretty secretary. She may be free

tonight. Oh, you don't have... Oh, Sam getting a date for Ernie.

Oh, that he's always got.

Cut it out, Phyllis. Well, just in case.

There's her name and her telephone number, and I understand she has a very

roommate if she's busy. Well, you see, I'm very busy. I may not have the time.

Oh, the time is...

Busy? Well, George, I'm always busy.

But what time should I pick you up tonight?

Oh, me? I've got a date tonight.

Oh, you have?

Oh, Sam said something about a roommate.

Oh, Millie? Oh, she's got a date, too. Uh -huh. But wait a minute. A beautiful

girl, a friend of ours, just got into town, and I think we could talk her into

going out with you.

Beautiful, huh?

Oh, Cookie's a lovely blonde, good personality, wonderful dancer.

Cookie, huh? Oh, I tell you, you'd just love her. But why don't you talk to her?

out of chain.

I'm sorry.

I'll have to disconnect you.

Well, look up. Look up. All I got is five dollars. Look, I'm stuffing it in a

box.

I'm sorry.

Five cents for the next three minutes. Gotta get change. Change. Hey, buddy,

gotta...

one from Boston. Oh, gee, I hope so.

Soldier, you play ping pong?

Oh, yes, Sergeant.

Now,

look, operator, this is an emergency.

Her name is Sergeant Joan Hogan.

She's living with the folks in Sumter, South Carolina.

Thank you.

Oh, if I can get in touch with her, I'll never look at another girl again.

Sergeant, we found a partner for you for ping pong. Girl?

Yes, sir. Is she, uh... What?

Never mind, I'll be right with you.

Operator, operator, cancel.

Operator, the emergency is over.

I got a partner for you, Sergeant. He'll be right in. We could play mixed

doubles. Oh, fine.

Sergeant Joan Hogan? Yes, yes. What about your call to Sergeant Ernest

I'm sorry, but unless we have more to go on than just a little ranch outside

Cheyenne, Wyoming.

Well, I understand. Thank you very much. Just the same.

Look, is there someplace I could freshen up or get a shower? Oh, sure. Just down

the street. There's a little...

Come on, I'll show you. You can't miss it. There's a big electric sign.

Ping -pong, anyone?

This must be my partner. Shall we jump over the net, my dear?

Well, that's my partner.

Your partner? Where's mine? Well, she just ran off.

Well, why don't you stop?

Well, this is certainly my day.

Well, come on, Sarge. Let's volley. No, no, never mind. Look, I'm starting to

feel a little icky. Can I get out of these clothes, take a shower or

Well, yeah, there's a YMCA just down the street. There's a big sign. You can't

miss it. Thank you, son. Thank you.

Here you are.

Thank you.

Good evening, Sergeant.

A room for tonight?

Well, no, I'm staying with friends, but I thought if I could have a shower or...

Oh, of course.

A little steam, a nap, you'll feel better.

Here's your locker key, and the locker room is through there. Oh, thank you.

I'd like a room for tonight.

Well, you certainly would.

Mister, this is the YWCA.

The YMCA is next door. Well, you've got a YM sign on out there. Oh, is our light

off again?

I'll call the electrician.

Star, Clyde, look alive.

Oh, I'll take care of him later.

Won't you come home, dear?

Listen honey.

Back to the camp.

I might as well get... Come on, look alive. Look alive.

And

no charge

for service women.

Oh, thank you.

Well, I heard you had a steam shower and I took a nap.

A double room?

That was a double room. Well, that will be... Oh, no charge for service, ma 'am.

Thank you very much. Won't you come home, Mary Mary?

I

don't

get it. Back in only five days.

Yeah, how was New York?

Well, for the first couple of days, it was miserable.

And then it got worse.

You mean you didn't have a good time?

I just don't want to even remember those last few days.

Stop panting. Bill Bailey just came home. Oh, Ernie.

Johnny, Johnny. Oh, Ernie. All right, look at that. Hey, hey, hey.

Oh, Ernie, I'm so glad to see you. I'm glad to see you. How was Wyoming?

Oh, wonderful.

Clear. The air is beautiful.

What matters is we're back together. Let's pick it up where we left off, huh?

Dinner, dancing, shall we? We'll live it up. I'll pick you up at the same time.

Wonderful. Oh, Ernie.

What is it, baby girl?

You can help me out. I'm filling out some new physical.

I better make sure I look at my dog tags.

Oh, I'm sure it's all... It says A.

What's the matter, Ernie?

Hogan, Joan, R.

These are your dog tags.

That's ridiculous. Mine are right here, see?

Bilko, Ernest.

I don't understand it. The only time I took my dog tags off...