Original subtitles

Thank you.

as soon as possible. I'm way past my deadline.

Stop that, Frank. It's really annoying.

Toasted English muffin, ice cream, cheese, no butter. That's me.

Egg sandwich, holy onions.

Right here.

One large buttermilk donut, vanilla, icing, chocolate sprinkles.

Yep. The breakfast of champions.

Morning, everybody.

Morning, Warby. Morning, Frank.

There's that annoying whistle. You're on to something. Spill it. Jeez, it's

about time. I was starting to annoy myself.

Okay, are you ready for this?

My very reliable, very high -up network spies tell me that two news stations

have just joined the network.

And the bigwigs want FYI to make a little publicity trip in order to help

promote the local news show. The first stop is the station in Dalton, Kansas.

Oh, boy. Yes, but the second one is in, get this, Hawaii.

Three sun -drenched days, two exotic nights in Honolulu, visiting our new

station, Cape Hoy.

Not Honolulu, Frank. It's Maui. Maui? Didn't I say Maui? That's what I meant.

And it's four days and three nights.

Right. They're putting us up in suite at the Cherubim.

Bungalows at the Hyatt.

This is so great. Lying by the pool for three days in perfect weather.

Hey there, people.

Phil, top of the morning.

Do I have some great news today?

We know. We're going to Hawaii.

Yes.

Melikalikimaka is the thing to say on a bright Hawaiian Christmas day.

Okay. Okay.

Secrets out.

And obviously you've made your decision.

Which two of you are going to Hawaii?

Two. No one said anything about two. Two?

How come you didn't mention that, Mr. Nancy Drew?

Hey, don't turn on me. Phil didn't know either.

Oh, yes, I did. I just wasn't stupid enough to say it.

There's your bagel, Miles.

Aloha.

So, now we all know.

Only two can go.

And, uh, after you've decided which two it is, call me. See ya. Oh, no, you

don't. You're not getting out of this so easily. If the network's only going to

spring for two of us, you're going to have to choose.

Okay, fine.

I can do this.

Okay, who should it be?

Jim, who I trust and respect with leading our team?

Frank, whose piece on city corruption got us a write -up in the Post?

Corky, our little crowd pleaser?

Or is it Murphy?

Murphy.

Murphy who could hurt me.

Since Frank has that piece on IRS incompetence through Monday and Corky

the last affiliates promotion, Jim and Murphy will go.

Hot diggity dog!

Come on!

To our new friends in the heart of America's breadbasket, may I be the

say, welcome to the network. Oh, thank you!

Gil,

what would you say it is out there?

90 below?

This is nothing.

Last night a cow froze on the interstate.

Want to see something like that?

You never forget it.

Right. So, Gil, I guess our people told you we're on a pretty tight schedule. We

have this other important business engagement.

Then let's get cracking.

Murphy, Jim, I would like to introduce you to some very special people.

KFLT's own action news team. Pete Richman, Diane Daly on anchors, Chuck

sports, and, of course, Steve Raines, our... We're Steve.

Steve's our weather guy. He was still at the station when I left.

We don't have to wait for him, do we? Not that we wouldn't want to. It's just

that there's this other place we have to go.

I'm sure that he'll be here soon.

Murphy? Jim?

Just let me say how long I've admired your work. What? Thank you, Pete. But

fact is, the real work is here, right in the heartland of America.

Listen, I hear there's been a shake -up at Action News in D .C. They're taking

away Johnson's anchor spot.

I am really right for that spot.

Don't you think so, Jim?

Well, I don't know. Could you give him my tape, maybe put in a good word for

I'll call you Wednesday. That's not too soon, is it? Actually, I'll be out of

town Wednesday. Thursday?

Friday?

Friday's fine.

Thanks. Thanks a lot, Jim.

So... Diane, is it?

You're the senior anchor. You must be really enjoying that position.

You know, not all of us had to make the big leap to network to be happy.

Oh, sure, I could have done it, but the fact is I'm serving the vital needs of

the backbone of this country.

I myself started out at a small independent station. So I hear D .C. is

Johnson. Who's going to get the anchor desk? Let me guess, a guy, right? Some

blow -dried yo -yo with a...

Brains of a Ken doll. Actually, I haven't heard who's getting it. Oh,

right. Big network star. What do you care? Like you have to do another

report? One more hand in the combine story and I'm going to shoot myself. Get

out of my way.

Oh, Steve.

Good. You made it.

Murphy Brown, Jim Dial, Steve Ray is our crack meteorologist.

These guys, they've got to catch a plane, so if we could get some pictures

them. Did you say plane?

What? What? Why is that funny?

There's a huge storm front headed this way.

Five more minutes, this city's shut down.

It's been a real pleasure.

Nice to have met you.

Welcome to the Sunflower State.

The plane could have taken off in this weather, Jim. The pilot's a wimp. That's

all. Did you see him at the concierge's desk asking for shoe trees?

Chuck Yeager wouldn't ask for shoe trees. Perfect.

We are not going to Hawaii.

It's too late. It's over. And no amount of complaining is going to change that.

So let's just try to accept reality and do what we can to make the best of

things.

What the hell is this? One double bed? I asked for two.

What do you have to do to get good service in America anymore?

Morons.

With the interstate closed, we should be glad we have a room at all.

Phooey!

I don't know about you, but I just want this day to end. Let's settle in.

Phooey, Phooey, Phooey.

Nirvana, I thought I'd die in these things.

Men must have invented high heels.

Men with mother problems.

God,

what a horrible bed.

Can you imagine having sex on this?

For Pete's sake, Murphy.

Look, Jim, I know this is an awkward situation, but it doesn't have to be.

Come on.

We've known each other for years.

We're pals.

I suppose you're right.

There's no reason on earth why we should be uncomfortable about this.

What the hell? I'm losing the jacket.

You put your feet up on the bed and relax. I'm going to crack open the honor

bar.

Yes, come to mama.

Hey, Jim, heads up, your favorite, honey roasted almond.

Oh, good Lord, what are they charging for this little thing?

Six bucks.

Six dollars?

Have you any idea what that is per nut?

I don't care, Jim.

I'll tell you.

Two, four, six, eight, nine.

Uh, let's assume nine almonds per ounce. Wait, that's too many. Uh, seven

almonds per ounce at two and a half ounces in the bag. That would make... 17

a half almonds at $6 per bag. It'll be, let me see, 17 .5 divided into $6. Then

don't eat the nuts, Jim.

Don't eat them.

Dammit, I've already opened the bag.

Oh, good. Jacques Cousteau. Very nice way to unwind. Let's see what else is

Oh, Mrs. Minivert.

I love that film. When Bear Garson finds that wounded soldier, I... Really

Syrian border.

CNN. Good, we can catch up on today's... Hey, wasn't that just... Come on now,

I'm getting... See here.

Murphy! What?

Give me that.

Oh, I had it first.

You're obviously not used to watching television with other people. The person

who holds the clicker has a certain responsibility to others. You are

your privilege.

who's doping on.

It's the blowfish expedition. I hate this one.

Jeez, Jim, here, knock yourself out.

I'm going to go to bed.

I'll take the cot.

Absolutely not. I won't hear her.

Forget it. I don't want any special treatment because I'm a woman. And don't

fight me on this or I'll open another bag of those nuts.

Well, all right, have it your way.

God. I wish we had our luggage.

Oh, no.

Wouldn't make any sense to have one thing go right.

Boy, it's been a long day.

Yes, I'm one tired soldier.

I don't think I can keep my eyes open another minute.

As soon as my head hits this pillow, I'll be out like the light.

Jim, you want to go to the bar?

You're on.

people stranded in a hotel together and no one's in the bar.

I hate the 90s.

Come on, I'll buy you something fizzy.

Deal.

Scotch and soda, my good man. And for the lady... Soda and no scotch.

Airlines still down?

Naturally. Looks like I'll be here for the night after all. So much for

tomorrow's board meeting.

May I have a little more white wine, please?

Hey, look, Jim, a piano.

Play something.

Oh, now, Murphy, I don't think... Oh, come on.

people who play the piano always have to be talked into it. If you didn't want

people to ask, you should have learned the bassoon.

All right, all right.

Miss the Saturday dance.

Perfect crowd at the floor.

Couldn't bear it without you.

Don't get around much anymore.

at the club.

Got as far as

sure closed a lot of bars in my time.

I must know the words last call in 50 languages.

Have you heard it in Kansas?

You know, there's something about being on the road.

Maybe it's because you're in some hotel you know you'll never go back to in a

town you'll never remember.

Oh, God.

I'm thinking back 10, 12 years ago.

There was this hotel in Iraq.

And the cameraman...

Rutger. I don't want to hear about any Rutger, Murphy.

Oh, come on, Jim.

It's a good story. Really a good one. Yes, fine.

I get the picture.

You know, you've logged in more road time than I have. You must have some

interesting stories yourself.

Who, me?

No, not really.

Oh, come on. I don't believe that you're holding out on me. I'm sorry to

disappoint you, Murphy, but bar games, wild stunts, transcontinental liaisons,

things like that just don't happen to Jim Dial.

Are you telling me you never even flirted with anyone?

Murphy, you know me.

I'm just not the type of man who could go up to a woman in a bar and chat her

up. Besides, I'm happily married. What would Doris think? Well, she probably

wouldn't think anything because I'm sure she does it too.

Flirting is harmless.

It's just a way to show yourself you're still attractive to the opposite sex

without actually doing anything.

Now, you see that woman at the bar?

Yes. What about her?

She's flirting with you. I noticed it right away. Eye contact, body language.

Maybe you ought to go over there and talk to her. Murphy, for heaven's sake.

Well, what would it hurt? For a few minutes in a lonely hotel away from

the woman would feel she still has some sex appeal, and so would you. All that

would happen is that I'd say something ludicrous about weather, and she'd make

some excuse about it being late, and that would be that. Are you trying to

me that for a few minutes, Jim Dial couldn't captivate that woman?

Want me to prove it to you?

Fine. I'll prove it to you.

Excuse me, ma 'am.

I was just noticing that you were sitting here all alone drinking.

Oh, not to imply excessive drinking by any stretch of the imagination, but

rather what I meant to emphasize was that you were alone.

Not that it's unseemly for a woman to be sitting... In a bar. What I meant to

say was have a nice evening.

I loved your playing.

Excuse me? The piano. I loved the way you did that song.

Well, it isn't often that one hears Ellington's original arrangement.

It was quite impressive.

You recognize that?

Of course.

Oh, I'm sorry. Nancy McManus. Oh, Jim Dial.

Yes, I know.

I watch your show.

Oh. How pleasant to stumble upon another Ellington aficionado.

You know, I've been a student of the Dukes for years, and I don't mean Wayne.

What a lovely sense of humor you have.

Are you stuck here in the hotel?

Yes, yes.

Blasted storm.

Me too.

They gave me a lovely room.

Actually, it's much too big for me.

Oh, I'd like that.

You know, many people credit Ellington with that motif.

It was actually Billy Strayhorn who originated it.

Oh, you're still talking about Ellington. Yep, the man was a genius.

Satin doll, take the A train.

Come on, Jim, hit it. And a one, a two, a three, a four. It don't mean a thing

if it ain't got that... Come on, Jim. Do -ah, do -ah, do -ah, do -ah.

Did I tell you, Jim, what a masterful keystroke you have?

Well, it's in the...

Rhythm.

Jim.

Jim.

What is it, Murphy?

Jim, can I have another quarter?

Oh, good Lord.

Well, isn't this wonderful?

Trying to sneak in on me like Dagwood Bumstead. What is the meaning of this,

what are you doing in my bed?

It's my bed now. You don't deserve it. Do you have any idea what time it is?

for crying out loud, Murphy, this is ridiculous.

I was just downstairs in the bar talking with Nancy. Oh, really? In the bar?

Till 4 a .m.? Yes, till 4 a .m. Nice try.

Oh, how convenient.

Or was it that you and Nancy stopped talking and went upstairs to her room?

don't try to deny it. I've been around. I know how things happen on the road.

Oh, yes. You and Wilhelm.

Wrecker! And don't try to change the subject.

Now, if you have any respect for our relationship at all, you'll tell me

what happened.

Oh, confound it, Murphy.

You want to know what happened tonight? Do you? Fine.

It was obvious to both Nancy and myself that something was going to happen.

Had to happen.

I heard myself suggesting that we go up to her room.

I ordered some champagne.

But on the radio, Moonlight Sonata came on.

We kissed and sank to the floor.

Jim.

The floor?

If you didn't want to hear about it, then why did you ask?

How could you do this?

You cheated on Doris.

This is all my fault.

I should never have asked you to talk to that woman.

You're a married man.

You're Jim.

What? What?

Oh, Murphy, this time I really outdid myself.

You believe me, don't you? Of course I believe you. What are you saying? The

story. I made the whole thing up.

You should have seen the look on your face.

Champagne, moonlight sonata. The floor.

That was my favorite part.

I was going to say couch, but I changed it to floor at the last minute.

Actually, I was going to say shower floor, but I knew you wouldn't go for

I'm not buying this, Jim.

Oh, this is amazing.

You really believe I had a liaison?

Of course, I'm tremendously flattered.

You know, you were right.

Flirting does do something very nice for the ego.

But please, Murphy, give me a little credit.

Boy,

am I embarrassed.

I guess I owe you an apology.

I should know that after 13 years together, you're the last person who

consider having an affair.

Well, maybe we don't know Jim Dial as well as we think.

Nancy and I sat in that bar for a very long time.

She asked me to go up to her room with her.

I was very attracted to her.

You want to know something?

I considered it. I mean, I really considered it.

But I didn't go.

I love my wife.

You know, it may sound strange, but I'm glad this whole thing happened.

I've always wondered what I'd do in this type of situation, and now I know.

Of course, I'm sure it can't compare with your adventure with Helmut Rettger.

Are you sure you don't want to hear that story, Jim? It's really a good one.

I've had enough excitement for one night, Mary.

Maybe we'd better catch some shut -eye.

Right.

So, everything turned out okay after all.

Yes. I had a fascinating experience, and nothing happened that anyone has to

feel ashamed of.

Right. Nothing happened that we couldn't tell anyone.

You ate a $6 bag of nuts, almost had an affair with a stranger, and got into bed

with me.

If anyone should ever question you about this, don't mention the nuts.