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Come on, people.
Focus. I can't believe this group of highly paid professionals can't come up
with one good idea.
Ah, there's Murphy. Help us out here. We've hit a roadblock and we're running
out of time.
Where should we go for lunch?
I want beef, dammit.
I'm sorry, guys. I'm not eating with you today. I've got a date. How do I look,
Frank? Am I overdressed? Are pearls too much? I like the pearls.
Do you need the dress?
Would you just shut up and help me with them?
A lunch date and pearls.
Well, this is certainly more interesting than all that verifiable nuclear
disarmament stuff Miles wasted our entire morning with.
What's happening back there, Frank?
Oh, God, I'm going to be late. Oh, I can't get this. My hands are too big.
Huge, actually.
Here.
Let me.
I do this all the time for Doris.
Murphy, aren't you going to tell us who the mystery man is?
He's not a mystery man, and it's not a date date. I'm meeting my high school
journalism teacher, Mr. Hamilton.
He's the reason I joined my high school newspaper.
He ran it like the New York Times.
Toughest editor I ever had.
Sounds like I had the female equivalent of your Mr. Hamilton.
Mrs. Bronstein was the most demanding teacher in school.
She's dead now.
Probably teaching Beowulf in hell.
Darn latch.
This is obviously defective.
There. Men are so hopeless.
Okay, I'm going now. I'll be at
Phil's. I thought he'd like it there.
Or do you think I should have made reservations at the press club?
Ah, this is ridiculous.
I'm an accomplished woman.
It's not like the man is going to give me a grade for God's sake.
Besides, since when did I start worrying about what other people think of me?
Pearl, what was I thinking?
Murphy.
You're wearing your pearls.
This guy must be somebody pretty special.
He is. Phil, I'd like you to meet Mr. Hamilton.
He was my high school journalism teacher.
No kidding.
I bet this one must have been a real pistol in high school.
Why don't you have a look for yourself, Phil? I brought along the old yearbook.
The Centurion, circa 1966.
Aw, no. You didn't really. You used to be such a nice man.
And here's our girl right here.
Whoa.
Would you look at that?
It must be four feet tall.
It's a beehive. It was fashionable then.
It looks like Jippy Pop just before it's ready to blow.
Hey, I bet you can't guess who this is.
Hey!
At least it's not that picture of me in my gym shorts.
Murphy, I can't tell you how great it is to catch up with you again after all
these years.
You may not realize it, but I had three major influences in my life.
Edward R. Murrow, Wile E. Coyote, and Mr.
Hamilton. Hey, Murphy.
Enough already with this Mr. Hamilton stuff. Call me Ken.
Gee, that's a little like calling the Queen of England Betty, but... Okay.
Ken.
Murphy, you should see the old school now. We've added a video department, and
for the last ten years, I've been teaching broadcast journalism.
Till I hit that magic number 65.
Well, I remember the kind of hours you used to put in. If anyone deserves to
enjoy retirement, it's you.
Are you kidding? I hate it. I'm not the kind of guy who wants to spend the rest
of his days walking on the beach with a metal detector.
I want to keep doing the things I love.
So I'm going to open a school right here in the hub of the news world. I love
this. It's a terrific idea.
But opening a school has got to be an enormous investment.
It is, but I'm taking it slowly.
You're looking at the dean, registrar, custodian, and head nurse.
I'm excited about this, Murphy. It's got the old blood pumping again.
I want to help you. A pension's not going to go very far. I want to make a
donation. After all, if it weren't for you, I wouldn't be here today.
No way. I'm not going to take your money, even though People magazine says
you're rolling in it.
There is one thing you could do. What you just said would make a wonderful
in my brochure. Can I use it?
Of course you can use it. I'd put my name on anything Ken Hamilton was
with. Murphy, that's terrific. With your name and my skill, I'll have so much
business, I'll be turning students away.
Say, Murphy, the guy at the bar wants to know if you can still get into this
position on the balance beam.
I've just seen the most confounding, even shocking advertisement in today's
paper. Listen to this.
Learn the techniques that took me to the top. Join the exciting world of
television. Sign up now for the Murphy Brown School of Broadcasting. Lower left
-hand corner, right next to the girdle ad.
Look at this picture.
Holy cow, that's Murphy.
A very young Murphy.
Her hair...
Commercial endorsements besmirch our entire profession.
Oh, sure, I could have taken that lucrative contract to push Fruit of the
But did I?
No.
Once a journalist tap -dances across the screen in a banana suit, he can kiss
his credibility goodbye.
Morning, everybody.
Morning, Murph. So, what is it? Some kind of tax shelter thing, or did you
lose your mind? What are you talking about?
Take a look.
Right near the Bustin' Larger ad.
Oh, no.
The Murphy Brown School.
That picture.
That hair.
Oh, please tell me this is a joke.
What are you saying, Murphy? That you didn't know about this? That it's a
mistake? Of course it's a mistake.
Look at me. If my hair were any higher, I could sell Lyft tickets on it.
Well, you'll never guess what I saw in the paper this morning.
Gee, I wonder what it could be, Miles.
I saw an ad.
Cemetery plots are on sale at Mount Zion.
And I could use one of those, too.
Because then I looked over and saw an ad for the Murphy Brown School of
Broadcasting. I hope it's successful, Murphy.
Then you could buy me a nice headstone for the plot I ordered.
Right after I returned his phone call from Ted Koppel, who wants to know where
he should register for that high -paying, glamorous, easy -to -learn
I feel, Miles. I told Mr. Hamilton he could use my name. He obviously
misunderstood. You've got to fix this, Murphy.
I can't have my on -air talent involved in anything that could bring on negative
press. Believe me, I know. Look, I'm sure I can straighten this out pretty
easily.
Murphy, hello.
I hope I'm not interrupting anything.
Mr. Ken, how about that? We were just talking about you. Let me introduce you
the people I work with.
Jim Dial, Frank Montana, Corky Sherwood, Miles Silverberg. This is Ken Hamilton,
the man I owe most of my success to.
And the founder of the Murphy Brown School of Broadcasting.
Murphy, I came by to get your opinion about these new brochures. I just picked
them up from the printers.
Actually, I wouldn't mind getting all your reactions. After all, you're the
professionals.
There's that picture again.
They can do this to hair, but they can't get that squeak out of my dashboard.
Ken, maybe we should go in my office. I think we should talk.
Sure.
Oh, hey, you've still got that old AP style book I gave you when you
Yeah.
Well, listen, Ken, here's the thing.
I think there's been a little misunderstanding.
See, when I said you could use my name, I...
I never thought, you know, you'd name the whole school after me. Yeah, pretty
great, huh? I wanted to surprise you.
Oh, it's a surprise, all right.
And I see here that Kathleen Sullivan called, wanting to know if she could get
in on the early admissions program.
Look, Ken, I know you meant it as a compliment, but having my name on the
could cause a lot of problems.
Oh, gee.
I guess that just never occurred to me.
You know I would never use your name if it makes you feel uncomfortable.
That's the bottom line.
Well, thank you, Ken.
Thank you for understanding.
That's why I want you to come to the Murphy Brown School of Broadcasting
tonight. Give it a real going over. Then if you still have a problem, we'll take
that name right off. But I can guarantee you, you're gonna love it.
What do you say?
Ken, to be honest, I...
I think it's a great idea.
Terrific. And you know what?
I just got another idea.
Oh, boy.
Imagine how excited the students would be if the whole FYI team showed up
tonight, helped kick off the first night.
Gee, that would be exciting, but... Terrific.
Oh, listen, I got to run. I got a million things to do before tonight.
thank you.
Thank you for everything.
Isn't life great?
Okay,
guys, I know it looks bad, but... But what?
I don't know.
I would just like to point something out.
Just because my car holds five people, I had to drive.
So now my brand new BMW is sitting out in that parking lot waiting to be
stripped, smashed, and set on fire.
Thank you, Murphy.
When you visit my plot, bring the steering wheel. I'd like that.
There aren't any ivy -covered halls donated by millionaires, but that's not
education's about.
Now, I'm going in there to show my support for a wonderful man and his
Besides, it's freezing out here.
Hey, look, it's Murphy Brown. Oh, look at that. There's a big turnout. That's
something. And who knows? Maybe one of these people might be the next Edward R.
Murrow.
Wow, Murphy Brown. Bob Wilson.
This is a real thrill for me. Well, it's nice to meet you too, Bob.
So what brings you here? A lifelong dream to be a broadcast journalist?
What? Oh, no, no. I'm just here to meet my wife.
She's in traffic school next door and it's too dangerous to wait outside.
Well, nice talking to you. Oh, come on. I can't believe it.
Jim Dial.
You know my friends say I sound just like you.
Murphy, I can't tell you how much this means to me. And thank you all for
coming. I'm sorry I wasn't here to greet you, but I had to talk to the landlord
about the heat.
Oh, good. There it is now.
Okay. So, everyone, I want to welcome you to the first class
of the Murphy Brown School of Broadcasting.
This is an exciting moment in my life, and I'm gratified that some very special
guests are here to share it with me. Won't you please welcome a former
of mine, Murphy Brown, and the FYI team.
Come on up here, folks, where everyone can see you.
laughing back at Mr. Patrice's geometry class.
She'd start to talk about the hypotenuse of a triangle and I'd be out like a
light. Then whack! The ruler would come right across the back of my head.
I still have the scars.
All right, hold the talking. I wasn't, he was. He was talking.
Now, I always tell my students, a good journalist does what?
Goes right to the source.
And what better source than Murphy Brown?
So, Murphy.
Why don't you stand up and tell the class what has made you one of the most
successful journalists in broadcasting today?
I wasn't prepared to make a speech.
I don't want to get marked down a grade, so how about I just
answer a couple of questions?
Miss Brown, I've always wanted to be a broadcast journalist, just like you.
Thank you. What is your question?
How much money do you make a year?
Class, I think we would make better use of our time if we had questions that
related to the way in which a journalist works. Yes, in the back.
I have a question about tabloids. Oh, good. That's a very interesting area.
do you want to know?
I read in the Enquirer that you're dating Jack Nicholson.
If that's true, do you make more money than he does? And is that a problem?
I don't want to hog the floor here. How about we just turn it over to our senior
anchor, Jim Dial? I'm sure there must be a lot of questions for him.
Yes, the gentleman in the motorcycle jacket.
Yeah. I heard.
They're paying Deborah Norville a million two.
Now, is that standard for an entry -level position?
Following that, I paid 20 % down on my townhouse and took out a 30 -year
mortgage so I could get the maximum interest deduction.
I hope that answers your questions.
I think I got the heating problem taken care of. I'm sorry for the
inconvenience. Thank you, Murphy, and thank you, FYI team.
I thought I would conclude tonight's class by discussing some of the
principles of broadcast journalism.
Let's see. We've been in here for three hours at 350 degrees.
I'm done.
Now you're going to see what Ken Hamilton does best.
The primary obligation of any journalist... is to remain objective and
impartial. The press must never become too closely associated with those whose
influence might color that precious objectivity. Isn't that right, Murphy?
Uh, well, yes, up to a point.
But sometimes it's necessary to establish a more personal relationship
means to get the story behind the story.
Well, yes, I see your point.
Anyway, in television news, all parties work together to get the truth on the
air. I'm sure you'd agree with that, Murphy.
Actually,
the realities of television news are network politics, run -ins with
and concern over ratings. But I'm sure that's what you meant.
In any case, it all comes down to the story. And nothing can compare to the
excitement of the clacking teletype machine when a fast -breaking news story
com... Yes, Murphy?
Um, it's all computerized now. We haven't used teletype machines in years.
an emotional limb here.
Would you like to talk about it?
Yes.
Yes, I would.
Eldon, have you ever had a mentor?
Of course.
Well, I did too.
He was my high school journalism teacher.
But tonight I sat in a classroom and realized I'd surpassed my mentor.
I knew it.
He knew it.
It was difficult for both of us.
I had the same experience.
It happened many years ago.
It was an artist in Greenwich Village.
Now, I considered the man a genius.
We would sit and talk together about theory, technique for hours.
His work was incredible, bold, yet so full of feeling.
I had asked if I could observe him at work, but he's a very private man.
So one day, I couldn't resist.
I went to his studio.
I climb up on the roof, and I look at him through the skylight. And there he
was, stark naked.
I watched, amazed, as my mentor sits in a can of paint
and drags his butt across a canvas like a dog on a carpet.
He sold that painting for $45 ,000.
He called it the crack of dawn.
It was a very painful experience for me.
And as you can tell, I'm still not completely over it.
Yes, go on.
This whole situation's gotten totally out of hand.
How do I tell my mentor he's failing? It would break his heart.
So to put this in layman's terms, you're going to let this old guy sit up on a
rotting scaffold because you haven't got the paint cans to be honest with him.
Is that it?
Why is this happening to me? I was just minding my own business. If you really
respect this teacher of yours, you will tell him the truth.
I know.
Thanks for the ear, Eldon. Never say that to an artist.
Thank you, Mr. McDougal. That was certainly enthusiastic.
Well, I guess that's all the time we have tonight, so class dismissed.
Murphy, hi.
What brings you to this neck of the woods?
If you have a minute, I'd like to talk.
Yeah, I've always got a minute for my star pupil.
The floor is all yours.
Mr. Hamilton, 25 years ago, I came to you confused about my future.
We sat down in your classroom, kind of like we're doing now, and I talked and
you listened and you asked me one simple question.
What did I want to do?
No one had ever really asked me that before.
You wanted to study journalism. That's right.
And one of the reasons I got the courage to follow my dream was that I knew that
if you thought it was wrong, you would have told me. Even if it hurt, you never
pulled any punches.
Sounds like you've got something on your mind, Murphy.
I do.
I think the school is a mistake.
The equipment is totally out of date.
The students are hopeless. And frankly, there's a very big difference between
life in the classroom and life in the real world.
I know how much teaching means to you, but I think you're throwing your life
savings away.
Oh, great, Mr. Hamilton. I'm so glad I caught you. Do you mind? This is
of a private conversation.
This will only take a minute.
Mr. Hamilton, I'm sorry I missed class today, but I have a great excuse.
I got a job.
A job?
A job? Yeah.
You know, when we talked last night, he stayed after class till one in the
morning, telling me not to quit, not to give up.
And I said it was pointless.
Well, I was wrong. I took your advice, I went down to the PBS station today, and
I got it. A job.
Michael, congratulations.
See, you just needed to believe in yourself.
What kind of a job, exactly?
An intern.
Well, a gopher, really. But it pays the rent, and the last guy at the job is now
a field reporter for a network affiliate.
Oh, Michael, this is wonderful news. I'm so proud of you.
Well, I gotta run.
Mr. Hamilton, I'm sorry that I won't be able to finish this semester.
You're really something.
Good luck, kiddo.
Keep in touch.
You bet.
Bye.
Boy, I feel like a world -class jerk.
You realize that in a year's time, I'll be begging that kid for a better time
slot.
I guess nobody knows anything about anything.
Murphy, you didn't say anything tonight that I didn't tell myself after that
first class.
Really? I know I'm out of touch.
But I can fix that.
You can teach me.
Now, how's that for coming full circle?
Mr. Hamilton, you have got yourself a deal. Great.
Now, how about I drive you over to Phil's and treat you to dinner and a pop
quiz? You're on.
But you've got to stop calling me Mr. Hamilton. I told you. It's Ken.
Ken. Ken Hamilton.
That's a great name for a school, don't you think?
The Ken Hamilton school of broadcasting.
I like it.
Good.
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