Original subtitles

Oh, you may not love me now, but I'm staying around, cause you want my

Just like push can turn to shove, like can turn to love, and it's my turn.

The one thing that is certain tonight is that 30 years after

coming to power, Fidel Castro remains a charismatic and uncompromising presence

in the Western Hemisphere. Jim? Thank you, Murphy.

And thank you for joining us. This has been another edition of FYI. Good night.

And we're clear.

I'd like to thank everyone for your undivided attention during my report.

Nice to know my colleague appreciates my work.

Stage.

Yeah, hold on.

Carl, it's the union.

Yeah. Uh -huh.

Uh -huh.

So what's the word, Carl? Are you guys on strike or what?

Damn! They put me on hold.

There's going to be a strike. I know it. The network wants to break the

technicians. The network doesn't want a strike. It's those idiots running our

union. Give me a break, Vito. We're David. They're Goliath. Whose side are

on, anyway?

All right, now.

I was going to stay neutral, but darn it, you people are my friends.

As it happens, I belong to the same health club as several of the network

And this afternoon, a source there told me things look good. All right.

Oh, yeah?

I heard from one of the hookers over at the hotel where they're negotiating.

She told me that there was a fist fight this afternoon and one of the union guys

was carted off to the hospital. No, no, no. It wasn't one of our guys. It was

one of theirs. And it wasn't a fist fight. He had a nervous breakdown.

I heard it was food poisoning.

Somebody let the roomaki out all night and the whole room got sick.

Come on, people. Haven't you been through enough negotiations to know you

trust rumors?

Besides, I know for a fact there isn't going to be a strike.

Hey,

my source is very dependable.

Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.

If Ruby says there's not going to be a strike, that's good enough for me.

She's the best damn newswoman in the business.

And I'd stake my life on her.

Yeah.

What?

We're on strike.

How do I get my hands on Koppel? It's going to be rough right here without

I'll tell you that. And as senior anchor, if there's anything I can do,

me know.

Can I borrow a thousand bucks?

Good for you, Dwayne. Now more than ever, it's important to keep that sense

humor.

I'm serious.

Cut it out, you knucklehead.

Hey, I'll tell you what. Why don't we all go to Phil's? My treat.

I don't know if I can cross that picket line another day.

It just brings back a lot of bad memories.

When I was in the Miss America pageant, I had to walk through a group of

protesters who were calling the pageant a meat market. Oh, go on.

It's true.

Someone threw a pork chop at me.

I can still see that woman pulling it out of her purse, peeling off the

wrap.

Amy. Oh, now these people are friends and colleagues. No one's going to be

throwing pork chops here.

Must have been a hundred of them. Oh, come on, Frank. There weren't more than

seven or eight cops.

How would you know? You took off at the speed of light and left me there.

I didn't take off. I saw somebody I knew.

Yeah, somebody named Help Help. It's a cashmere jacket.

God, I hate this strike.

Morning, troops.

Silverberg. Mr. Kinsella, good morning. Good morning, Gene.

Well, guys and gals, I know this week has been a strain, but I want to assure

you that...

We here at the network are doing everything that we possibly can.

We're doing everything we possibly can to bring this strike to a swift and

equitable resolution.

Gene, the network walked out of the negotiations last week.

Well, we had to. Their demands were totally unreasonable.

Well, how can you end a strike if no one's talking?

Well, we can't be the first to go back to the bargaining table. It would be

taken as a sign of weakness.

I think I'm beginning to see the real issue here. Why don't you guys just pull

down your pants, I'll get a ruler, and we'll settle this once and for all.

Oh, Murphy, Murphy, Murphy.

No, tensions are running a little high. We wouldn't want to say anything we

might regret later.

Gene, I've got an informant coming on to the show tonight. He's going to blow

the whistle on a major defense contractor.

It's taken me months to get this guy to step forward.

I've got a lot riding on this. Brownie, Brownie, we've hired the best non -union

crew we could find. And we're supplementing them with office personnel

been given extensive emergency training.

So, I expect to see you all on the set tonight.

Good. And remember, if we all work together, we can end this strike.

As much as I miss our crew, doing a live show with an untested support team does

get the old juices flowing. You can almost feel the electricity, can't you,

Frank? Is this toupee on straight?

I'm not used to putting it on myself. It feels weird.

Oh, I hate this stupid rug.

Why do they make me wear it? I swear, one of these days I'm going to just show

up without it.

Does it look okay, Corky?

You look like my third cousin, Russell.

His parents were brother and sister.

And this is our studio.

All the activity you see is perfectly normal.

Now, what can we do to make you feel more comfortable?

Tell me where all the exit doors are, every one of them. I've got to know.

It's a mental thing, just a mental thing. Miles?

I'd like you to meet Mr. X. He's our defense contract informant. Miles

Silberberg, executive producer of FYI. Thank you for coming on to the show.

Miles, I was just about to tell Mr.

X that we'll be using the most advanced technologies available to disguise his

identity. Why don't you explain them to him? Sure, Murphy.

We're going to blur your face with those little dot things and then do something

with the microphone that'll make you sound like a munchkin.

Thank you, Miles.

Okay, people, 20 seconds to air.

Good luck, Murphy.

I'll be up in the booth making sure everything goes smoothly.

Stupid thing.

I can't get a picture. Why can't I get a picture?

Let me try turning it on.

All right, five seconds to air.

Okay. Here we go, people.

We can do this if we all pull together.

Ready graphics.

Ready theme.

Cue graphics.

No big deal.

It's the charm of live television.

This is live?

All right, cue Jim.

Good evening.

For your information tonight, Frank Fontana spends 24 harrowing hours on

with the Guardian Angels, while Corky Sherwood gets a private tap dancing

from Broadway star Tommy Tune. But first, in an exclusive report, Murphy

exposes a major defense contracting scandal. What's he doing? What's he

Be careful.

five years, the saga of the shark missile has been a lightning rod of

controversy.

Get off me!

Get off me! Get off me!

Get off me!

Get off me!

Mr.

X. Mr.

X, you were in the accounting division of Creighton, weren't you?

That's true.

Mr. I know this is going to be, but just tell our audience exactly what you.

If there's so much at risk, why come forward at all? Because it's wrong.

people are stealing from all of us. It looks like we have to wrap up now.

and the senior VP of sales, Mr. Alan Gould. That's G -O -U -L -D, Gould.

people are a blight on society.

Whoa! Oh, the people are everywhere.

Hospitals are going without funding.

No!

Oh, God!

Look at that!

You said I'd be safe. You said I could trust you. I'm a dead man, you

me? We got you.

Hold on, I think we fixed it.

Hey, great show, guys.

Yeah, you guys really stunk up the airwaves tonight.

Gee, Bill, don't feel like you have to hold it. anything back.

Hey, you're looking for sympathy. You came to the wrong place.

These guys have spent twice the time and half the money.

Another week like this, I'm going to have to can Phyllis's personal fitness

trainer.

Just when she was beginning to look good in those toreador pants again. Well,

let's hope it doesn't come to that.

Now, how about the usual for my team and a round of beers for my comrades on the

picket line?

Burgers go real good with beer, Miles.

And burgers for everyone.

No dessert?

Bill, can I talk to you privately?

Not now, Miles.

I have $300 worth of burgers to make.

Bill's right.

These damn strikes hurt everyone.

I wish there was something we could do.

Bill, we've tried to play fair too long. Why don't we just refuse to cross the

picket line? Maybe that'll start some action. Yeah, legal action. You've all

contracts. They'll hold you to them. I know.

We can all give back a little of our salaries so the union guys can get a

Thanks for the beers, guys.

Sorry about the water balloons, Frank.

We weren't aiming at you.

Oh, now, now, hold on a second, guys.

This isn't fair.

You think that just because I wear a suit and tie, I automatically side with

network? Is that what you think? Yeah.

I like ice cream, Dwayne.

Hello, you're the union representative. What do you hear from your side? Our

side's willing to negotiate. It's management. They won't give an inch.

They're saying the same thing about you, but somebody's got to make a move.

Well, we can't move first, Murphy. It would be taken as a sign of weakness.

If you want to blame anybody, blame management.

Come on, guys. Our beer's getting warm.

Don's not angry with you guys.

He's under a lot of financial pressure. His wife just had her teeth bonded.

This is ridiculous. We can't go through another show like the one we just had.

I'm going to do something.

I'm going to break the stalemate. I'm going to invite both sides to my house,

and I'm going to mediate a settlement.

Come on, Murph. I don't know if a person who tried to run down her mechanic over

a billing dispute is the right one for the job.

All right.

You'll see.

Carl,

I have an interesting proposition for you. I'd like you to come to my place

tomorrow night.

Sweet Lord, my prayers have been answered.

You're not getting this, Carl. I want to talk about the strike.

I'm going to get Gene Kinsella to come and maybe we can get a dialogue started.

I can't do that, Murphy. The union has a negotiating team.

We could have some cake and some coffee. It'll be like a little party. What's

the harm?

Please, Murphy, don't do this. Don't make me choose between my union and you.

I'd never ask you to do that, Carl.

But I will wear those black pumps you like so much.

God forgive me, I'm putty in your hand.

The boards in the library have now been sanded and primed to perfection.

It is now decision time.

Navajo white or red shell?

Not now, Eldon. They'll be here any minute. You pick a color.

So you can come to me in six weeks and go, Oh, Eldon, how I hate my baseboards.

Each time I look at them, I'm reminded of my apathy.

No, this has got to be your decision because the wrong baseboard can throw

and upset the whole... Okay, just show me the samples, all right?

They're the same color.

I worry about you.

I really do.

Now, the Navajo has a clear undertone of gray while the eggshell is suffused

with yellow. The eggshell. I'll take the eggshell, okay?

Okay, but in the long run, I think you'd be happier with the Navajo.

Oh, God, they're here.

Eldon, do me a favor. I beg to Kate, would you put it on a platter while I

the door?

I don't know. I'm still trying to get over this eggshell thing. I'll take the

Navajo. All right.

Hello, Murphy.

Hi, Carl.

John, what are you doing here?

No offense, Murphy, but knowing how disoriented Carl gets around you, the

has decided he shouldn't try to handle this on his own. And I still say that's

ridiculous.

Here, Murphy.

In honor of my first visit to your home.

It's a rose quartz crystal. They say it stimulates the love impulse.

The door.

Guys, make yourselves comfortable.

Gene, thank you for coming. Okay.

So my star reporter's not coming down to the flue before next week's show,

right? I'm feeling better already.

Good.

John, Carl, you know Gene Kinsella.

So, why don't we all sit down?

That's okay.

We'll stand.

My back's a little tight. I think I'll stand, too. Oh, come on.

Don't tell me you're going to stand all evening. Isn't that just a little bit

silly?

Gene? John?

Carl? There are plenty of chairs. Look.

Just pick one. Pick one and sit. Go on.

Okay, this is not a problem. Look over there. See that? Another chair just like

it. Exactly down to the last tail.

Uh, I tell you what. Gene, why don't you take this chair?

John, you take that chair, and I'll sit on the couch.

Great. We've accomplished something already. And who knows?

Maybe if we get to know each other a little as people, we can get some sort

dialogue started.

So... That's basically why we're here, to visit, to talk, to get to know each

other a little.

I myself was born in Philadelphia.

It was spring, May 1948.

And Gene, did you know that John has two little boys almost the same age as

Debbie and Elise? What are their names, John?

John Jr.

And the other one?

John?

Claire, we're talking.

And why?

Because we found something you have in common.

Children.

God bless them.

I open a house full.

What about you, Murphy?

And you know, Christmas is right around the corner. Maybe we could have a little

party so the kids could all meet. Well, if this strike goes on much longer, my

kids won't have a Christmas.

You guys could be back to work tomorrow if you'd give a little.

There it is. That's management's definition of negotiating.

You give, we take. Oh, that old song again.

We're always the bad guys. Do you have any idea how competitive TV is today?

you do is complain.

Hey, now we're communicating.

Ooh, doesn't that look good?

Why don't we take a five and have some cake?

I baked it myself as a gesture of friendship so that we may all partake of

and rejoice.

Eldon, would you pass it around?

I put it on a platter. I brought it out here. You want it served?

Hire somebody named Babette.

Who was that?

He's my painter.

Must be union.

Oh, here we go again. More jokes about overpaid, lazy union guys.

Now, John, I'm sure Gene only meant that some old union rules are a little

costly for today's market. Cake?

I ate already.

You want to talk cost? Let's cut some of these corporate expense accounts.

Hey, listen, I deserve every penny I get. Gene, I'm sure that John was merely

pointing out that you're not under quite the same financial pressure.

Have a piece of cake, Gene. I'm not hungry.

If we didn't have to pay three guys to move a cable every time, maybe we could

afford to pay him more.

Here's your cake, John.

I said I don't want it. Or maybe you'd just keep that money yourself for a

little extra Christmas bonus.

Gene, doesn't this look good?

No. Let's talk about Christmas bonuses.

What's your overtime now? Ten thousand bucks an hour? How about you, Carl?

Murphy, I may be in love, but I'm not insane.

Okay, that's it.

I've had it.

Who do you think you are, playing games with people's lives?

You guys are pathetic.

What makes you think you can put your own egos before the good of our

profession? Well, I'll tell you something. I'm locking that door.

You're not leaving here until we can come up with a deal you can take back to

your people. And until that cake is gone, and I mean every crumb, I sweat

bullets over that thing. No mix, no microwave.

I separated eggs, I pre -sifted. We're talking scratch, baby.

So grab a pencil and grab a fork.

You're not leaving here until I'm ready to let you out. Have I made myself

clear?

As a result of information reported on this program last week, the chief

executive officer of Creighton Industries will appear before a grand

answer charges that Creighton willfully defrauded the United States government.

Jim? And I understand our Mr. X has landed on his feet. Yes, he has, Jim.

last week's unfortunate incident, all three networks have entered into a

war to turn his story into a television movie.

Well, I vote for Jill Eikenberry to play you.

Thank you for joining us. This has been another edition of FYI. Good night.

And we're clear. Congratulations, people. Show number one of a new three

contract.

Whoa, whoa, wait a minute. Does this mean I've got to spend three years with

Vito? I want hazard pay.

That's it, Fontana. Next week, I'm going to do a slow zoom into that weasel on

your head.

Come on, come on.

Great show, everyone.

Good to have the old 18 back.

Speaking for myself, there are no hard feelings.

Past is the past, and I don't believe in holding a grudge.

I'm sure you feel the same way, right, Dwayne?

Well, what do you say we all go across the street and raise a glass to rational

dialogue in the federal mediator?

Oh, sure.

That guy comes in for one day and gets all the credit. I'm the one that got

talking in the first place. We know. You've told us many times. Come on,

everybody. Let's go to Phil's. Good. You treating, Miles?

You betcha.

Hey, you mind? We haven't even left yet.

Oh, it's the electricians. They said if we got a better deal, they were walking

out.

Oh, I guess I better go home and start making another cake.