Original subtitles

Who's that gal? I think you know her. She's a real -life liar and she'll

go her own way.

She's a nut, she's a gal, she's a big newscaster. If you need a friend, just

on and ask her today.

Yeah, it's Murthy, Murthy, Murthy, Murthy Brawl.

The lady's a tramp.

The lady's a brawl.

There's no one else in the whole darn town who can make you laugh when you're

feeling down.

It's Murphy, Murphy, Murphy, Murphy Brown.

Hi, I'm Murphy Brown. You must be my new secretary.

Please tell me you. And let me just say that I'm here to serve you in any way.

Now, I'm a guy who's fly.

So look me in the eye. and tell me what you need, then let me say ha, ha, ha,

ha. Say it again.

Ha, ha, ha, ha. One more time.

Ha, ha, ha, ha.

Okay.

Morning, everybody.

Sorry I'm late. I got tied up in a meeting.

The guys from the entertainment division are in from L .A. They spent the first

20 minutes talking about how death starts in the colon before we got down

business. Can we make this meeting fast, Miles? I've got a shoot at a toxic

waste site, and I want to get there before the wind shifts.

Okay, okay.

I have some information for you.

The network has given the green light to a new situation comedy series.

Now, they're very high on it, and they'd like our help.

Our help?

Sorry, Miles.

We don't get involved with people who sit in a room all day and think up

stories about talking horses.

What kind of job is that for a grown -up?

No, no, you don't understand.

It seems this show is set in a newsroom.

Oh, a newsroom.

What kind of newsroom, Miles? A live weekly magazine show. It centers around

anchorwoman. What kind of anchorwoman?

Bright, ambitious, tough, driven, at the top of her profession.

Can they do that without my permission?

Before you jump to any conclusions, they've assured me she's not modeled

anybody. She's a combination of a lot of people.

Anyone from Leslie Stahl to Sam Donaldson.

What's her name?

Kelly Green.

I'm going to kill you, Mike.

I have nothing to do with this.

You know how I feel about the news division.

It's sacred.

But the head of the network overruled me and gave them permission to come in and

study us.

I don't know about anyone else, but I'm not... I'm about to jeopardize my

credibility as a journalist for some 30 -minute sitcom.

Who's in it?

They just closed the deal with Julia St.

Martin. Oh, that does it.

Julia St. Martin?

I love her.

Come on, Frank. The woman made a fortune playing a nun in a push -up bra.

it isn't. It's an intrusion. How are we supposed to get anything done with her

hanging around here flicking her hair and wetting her lips?

Did she need a ride from the airport?

I don't know, Murphy.

At least there are two of us left who refuse to allow our journalistic

to be tarnished. I better get back to work before the network decides to give

a wacky sidekick.

And I said to him, Jack, this is an important speech for you.

I've seen this wall affect everyone, East, West, even the Americans.

And in a sense, we're all Berliners.

Of course, we were speaking German at the time.

You know, Jim, this is so exciting for me to get to sit here and experience the

man behind the icon.

There's a warmth and a passion.

I don't show that side to many people.

I played a merry townsman in my high school production of Brigadoon.

Murphy, you're here.

Hello, Murphy.

There's someone I want you to meet.

Julius A. Barton, Murphy Brown.

Murphy, I am so pleased to finally meet you. I feel like I know you.

I mean, after all, we did once share the cover of the National Enquirer.

I was abducted by a UFO, and Murphy was having Bigfoot's baby.

Nice to meet you, too.

Do you think I could have my chair back?

Oh, yes, of course. I'm sorry.

I was just getting the feel of your office, studying the details. It really

help an actress to construct a character.

Uh -huh. Well, I'm sort of busy constructing a story for next week's

time's a little short. You know, I love her directness. That ability to just cut

right through it. I really want to try to use that. Wonderful idea. Just

wonderful. Knock, knock.

Here's that cafe au lait. you wanted, Julia.

I brought it up from the commissary myself.

Miles, thank you. You didn't have to do that.

I'm sure you have much more important things to do than run around and get me

coffee.

Not really.

Hey, Murph, how are you?

Oh, hello.

I'm sorry. I didn't know you had company.

The Temple of Doom is that way.

Let me introduce myself.

Frank Fontana.

Investigative reporter.

Julia St. Martin.

Actress. You know, my time is awfully short with all the crime and things

on. But I might be able to manage to clear some time and pick you on a

Yeah, there should be lots of opportunity for comedy at a cyanide

Well, I just think she should get an overview.

That's all. Well, if she wants an overview, she should be able to read all

wiretaps. Do we have to hose you down? Come on, guys. I'm busy here.

Fellas, I think we should just get out of Murphy's way.

I'm going to go into that news area there and just see what's going on.

We call it the bullpen.

Like in baseball.

Everybody, I'm here to research a role, and I can't do that unless all of you

just ignore me and go back to your work. I'm not here, okay?

Oh.

Thanks.

I know you!

Hi. I know you, too. Hi. Judith St. Martin.

Corky Sherwood. This is really exciting.

loved you in None on the Run.

Although, I think I liked None on the Run 2 even better.

Listen, Corky, I know you must be very busy, but it would really help me if I

could experience the world of broadcasting through the eyes of someone

out there every day, living it and breathing it.

Oh, of course, I'd be happy to help you.

The blonde leading the blonde.

If you had one piece of advice to give me as a journalist and a woman, what

would it be?

Don't wear pleats.

Corky, I won't keep you any longer.

You've really been very helpful. Thank you.

If there's any other way I can assist you in your search for accuracy, I'm at

your service.

I should have just put out that exercise video when I had the chance.

Oh, come on, Murphy. Throw me a lifeline.

Look, Julia, I know you have a job to do, but so do I. I'm in the middle of a

very hot story, and it has to come first.

What is it?

Oh, it's a little complicated. I don't know if you'd understand.

Well, try me.

I've uncovered some information on the Korea River Dam project.

The senator sponsoring the bill stands to make a pretty good profit if the

government purchases the land involved.

It's what we in the media call a vested interest story.

I knew there was something that wasn't right about that project.

The Sierra Club said that dam would devastate agriculture in three adjoining

states as well as threaten the habitat of 23 migratory birds and 17 species of

fish.

And Jane Fonda told me I was paranoid.

Look, Murphy, can I just be honest with you for a minute?

For most of my career, I've had to accept whatever roles they handed to me,

I've hung in there, but now for the first time, I get to choose.

And I choose you.

I really want to be proud of this. I really want Kelly Green to be modeled

the best reporter on television.

Don't make me go to Maria Shriver, the woman married Conan.

Well... Okay, I guess it wouldn't hurt for you to watch me for one day, but

let's keep it low -key. Oh, thank you, thank you. Oh, I won't be in a way you

won't even know I'm here.

So, let's get going on that story. We really should take a closer look at

environmental impact studies. Do you think we could fit another desk in here?

I'm right behind you, Murphy. I know.

Get me Senator Poirot.

I'll get him for you now. You don't have to tell me how. If you say it to me

nice, you don't have to say it twice.

Foray. Today.

Make way. Okay.

Hello. Senator Foray? Murphy Brown.

About that Carrillo River Dam project.

Yes, I know you're a busy man, Senator. Anyone holding down two jobs usually is.

And tell me, Senator, just what exactly does the third executive vice president

of Waterside Realty do?

Senator, when you say you have no comment to me, that's one thing. But

repeat that to 16 million viewers,

10 .30 tomorrow would be fine.

See you then.

God, that was perfect.

That's everything I want Kelly to be.

Murphy, do me a favor. Trade places with me for just a minute.

I just want to capture that moment.

What do you mean?

Oh, come on, get up. Here, lower your glasses.

Great. This is an acting exercise. It's called sense memory.

Just give me a minute to prepare and then cue me. You be the telephone. Say,

ring, ring.

This is ridiculous.

I don't want to be a telephone. What if someone walks in?

This is Kelly Green.

Yes, the Kelly Green.

Oh, I think you'll find time to talk to me when you hear why I'm calling.

Yes, I know you're very busy. Most people who hold down two jobs are.

Mm -hmm.

Even one who's a silent partner in the, uh, Waterside Realty Corporation.

Right.

Well, no comment is something you could say to me, Senator, but I think our 15

million viewers are going to have some pretty... colorful comments of their

10 .30 is fine.

See you then.

Unbelievable.

Is it Murphy or is it Memorex?

Oh, that felt good.

It felt right.

Oh, this is so exciting. I have bonded with the character.

Murphy, this is all you're doing. You've been such an inspiration.

Oh, well, gee.

Oh, wow.

What? What? I have got an idea. This is so incredible.

You're not going to believe this. Listen, Murphy Brown meets Kelly Green

premiere episode.

You do a walk -on.

Oh, it would be so great.

We have a real -life newswoman walk into our fictional world. Now, tell me this

isn't the best. Oh, now wait a minute, Julia.

It's been really great having you here, but we really frown upon our

correspondence doing entertainment programs.

Oh, but Miles, a new show needs all the help it can get.

And besides, having a huge star like Murphy Brown would practically guarantee

a 40 share.

Oh, Julia, I don't think it would mean a 40 share.

Julia, aren't you forgetting something?

Murphy isn't an actress.

Isn't an actress? Let me tell you something. The one thing you cannot

actress is charisma.

Oh, I have watched this woman week after week on television.

Talk about someone who really knows how to fill up a screen.

I would kill for her presence.

I don't really think I'd be any good.

Would I? Oh, you'd be great.

You would be wonderful.

Miles, we're talking 10 million new viewers for FYI and a cover of TV Guide.

Guide? Julia, you're putting Murphy in a tough spot, but I'll be the bad guy.

I cannot endorse anything that might damage Murphy's credibility as a

journalist. I'm going to have to say no.

Come on, don't be so dodgy. I mean, if the entertainment division needs our

help, how can we refuse?

So let's get started.

Okay, this is our newsroom set, our bullpen.

What we're going to be filming here, Murphy, is the very last scene of the

Kelly will say her line to her co -worker.

That will be your cue to enter from the elevator.

You'll come down, you'll come down. Down, enter from the elevator. Down to

spot. Down to this spot that we have marked on the floor, babe. Okay?

Now, you'll say your line. We'll freeze frame.

Show's over. Series runs seven years. We run out of places to put all the Emmys,

okay?

Murphy.

Murphy, have you seen your line yet?

Yes, I have, and I have to tell you, I think it's pretty funny. Great. Can we

put it on a cue card for you? Actually, I've memorized it, something I do. I

frequently memorize several pages of copy.

Hey!

waiting for. Okay, good show, everybody.

Roll cameras.

Rolling. Kelly Green.

Scene eight, take one.

And action.

Boy, you make one little comment about the competition and the next thing you

know it's on page one of the post.

Murphy Brown.

I got your letter of apology, Kelly.

Now I'm sorry I filled your car with herring.

Cut.

Great, great. Now that we've got it once, let's try to relax

and have some fun with it, okay? One more time, just from the elevator,

I'm ready.

Scene eight, take two.

And action.

Murphy Brown.

I got your letter of apology, Kelly. Now I'm sorry I filled your car with

herring.

Great, great. Much, much, much, much, much, much better.

Let me suggest something.

Try to punch the words car.

and herring. Car, herring.

That really makes the joke hit home. Oh, oh, I see what you mean. Of course,

that makes it much funnier. Thanks for the tip.

Roll cameras.

Rolling. Kelly Green.

Scene eight.

Take three.

And... action.

Murphy Brown. I got your letter of apology. Apology, Kelly.

Now I'm sorry I filled your car with herring.

Cut. I missed my mark. I knew that. I guess I was thinking so much about

punching the right words.

You know, this is harder than I thought. I've been watching you. You hit your

mark every time and you seem so natural.

Well, Murphy, maybe it will help if you just try to forget about the cameras and

all the people out there. You know, all the times we've talked the last few

weeks. Just think of this as just another one of those conversations.

Great, I'll try that.

The woman is a redwood.

Hey, Alvin. Hey, how you doing? Hello there. Hi there, Alvin.

Hello.

So, we meet again.

Hello, Alvin.

It's Alvin.

But I can be Alvin.

Hey, everybody.

Wait up.

So, everybody, ready for the world premiere of Kelly Green?

Where's Julia?

I thought she should be here. Did you invite her, Murph?

You know, I bet you'd love to watch the show with all of us.

She and I were getting pretty close there at the end.

Faith and Frank, right now the woman is sitting in a hot tub with Emilio

Estevez.

This is why I don't own a television.

I braved three wars and eight administrations so I could see myself

comic tour de force for Peter Graves.

Okay, I know the show's a little contrived, but didn't you think there

few good moments?

What about that last scene? I thought that was pretty funny.

Did you hear the way I punched the joke? That's an acting term, punching the

joke.

Oh, come on.

What did you think of me?

Hey, look at the time.

I'll call you back.

Before you start, I got something to say. So I'm going to say it now and get

out of the way. I want a good assistant before I'm retired. And that's not you.

So guess what? You're fired.

Good morning, Murphy.

I got your ratings from your show. It's not my show, Miles.

Kelly Green came in a distant fifth in the ratings.

You were behind the other two networks, Fox, and a Superstation broadcast of the

incredible Mr. Limpet.

Give it a rest, okay? I just wanted to point out that had you listened to my

advice, you wouldn't be suffering through this humiliation.

Look, Miles, it was a one -shot deal. I just tried to have a little fun.

The fact is the American people aren't sitting around right now discussing my

performance.

Okay, so they are.

But tomorrow somebody will spot Elvis at a 7 -Eleven and they'll forget all

about me.

Hi.

Hi.

Gee, it's great to see you. What brings you to town?

Oh, I was just here for some bureau meetings.

Hey, I saw you on TV last night. Really? What did you think?

Murphy, can I be honest with you?

I think it's wrong for a journalist of your stature to appear in a sitcom.

What? You crossed that line. You undermine your credibility. I feel so

about that.

Well, Connie, that sounds awfully noble and righteous, but I bet if you'd been

in my place and those network people came to you begging you to help their

show...

Offering you the chance to do something a little different, a little intriguing.

Something tells me you'd be singing a different tune. I bet I know what you

would have told them.

Exactly what I did tell them. No thanks.

I don't know how many people realize this, but the kid from the Sixth Sense

played your son on the show. Yeah.

Haley Joel Osment, really talented kid. Tell me, does that kid give you the

creeps? No. But he sees dead people.

Are you a real journalist?