Original subtitles

Come on, people. It shouldn't be this hard.

Let's brainstorm.

What do you think of when you think of the 1980s?

Glasnost, the rise of the religious right.

Oh, who are we kidding? The 80s were even duller than the 50s.

Ronald Reagan was just Eisenhower with more hair.

People in glass houses.

I can't believe I'm doing another decade in review show.

This is my third one.

You watch your entire life distilled into 50 minutes of hackneyed video clips

scored to time in a bottle.

And where is Murphy?

You know, he's always the first one here when we're doling out the Ollie North

interviews. When we have to come up with five minutes on cultural advancements

and all we've got is a very Brady Christmas.

I'm going to dig up my 1983 Red Book. Maybe that'll help.

Let's just take a five.

Excuse me.

I know, you're Corky Sherwood. I watch you on TV all the time.

Isn't that cute?

And you are?

Oh, um, Lewis Kletter, the Walt Whitman Junior High School Gazette.

Oh, a journalism student.

You know, I just love the journalism class I took.

Cutting and pasting all those little articles, making up all those little

headlines.

Have you done that yet?

No, right now we're studying libel and the use of fair comment and criticism

defense. First introduced in the Supreme Court case, New York Times versus

Sullivan.

Oh.

I remember that.

Anyway, I was hoping to interview Murphy Brown for my school paper.

Well, you know, Murphy is a busy woman.

But I'm sure she could find time to spend with a nice, bright young man like

yourself. Why don't you just go right over there and sit down?

Thanks, Ms. Sherwood.

I really appreciate this.

No. No.

That's it.

Enough is enough. You tell me there isn't a conspiracy in personnel.

I guess it's really you.

I'm Lewis Clutter, the Walt Whitman Junior High School Gazette.

I've been waiting to interview you for a story.

Oh. Well, look, little boy, I'm sure you're really a nice kid and all that,

I just don't have time.

Why don't you go interview David Cassidy or one of those Ghostbusters?

You know, Miss Brown, I thought your interview with Prime Minister Budo was

only one that captured both her pure femininity and iron will.

No kidding.

Did you, uh, happen to catch Barbara Walters' interviewer? Oh, please.

Well, maybe I do have a few minutes to spare.

Come on, Lewis, I'll show you the inner sanctum.

All right.

So, Lewis, shoot.

What burning questions are on the minds of the Walt Whitman Gazette readership?

Well, mostly I wanted your comments on this.

Seems to be a memo you wrote to the president of the news division saying

you think of all the people on your show.

What?

Well, here, you can look at it.

Like in paragraph three you say, uh, Jim Dial needs to be careful he doesn't

become too comfortable in his role as senior anchor.

Sure got a lot of neat toys in here.

I have a whole set of these.

Lewis, where did you get this?

Oh, well, the other day I was fooling around with my computer.

See, I figured out how to break into this new system.

I like to see how other people write their copy.

Boy, Dan Rather really hates George Bush.

Anyway, I came across this in your file, and I'm going to run it in next

Monday's Gazette.

It'll knock this belly -me story right on its butt.

Whoa!

There's just a few things you don't understand.

That's why I need a quote from you. What did you mean when you said Frank

Fontana sometimes gets caught up in the flash of a story and ignores the

substance? Look, Lois, I was pressured by management into writing that memo. I

didn't want to write it. I wrote it as gently as I knew how.

But if you publish it, the national press will have a field day with it.

don't understand how much I love and respect the people I work with.

Beat it!

Sorry.

So.

Now that I've explained all this to you, I'm sure you understand.

So why don't you just let me hang on to this thing for a while and we'll just

pretend it never happened. I gotta go.

What do you mean you gotta go?

Well, if you're not gonna give me a quote, I have to. I waited too long in

lobby. I'm already late for homeroom.

Homeroom? Lewis, you can't just walk out of here. We haven't finished talking.

Where can I reach you in case I change my mind about the quote?

Well, my dad's in the book on 32nd Street. But don't call after nine. I

retainer in.

We're way behind on the decade in review.

I know, and I really want to be there for you, but I have a very important

meeting. It's kind of a sensitive matter. It won't take long, I promise.

I'd say someone isn't pulling her weight around here, and her initials are M .B.

Oh, look.

There's a little kid who looks like he's lost.

Maybe I'll help.

Hi, Lewis. Thanks for agreeing to meet me here.

So, okay, you wanted to see Phil. Here it is.

Smoke Stuhl's beer. Let's go someplace else. No, come on. You promised.

I've always wanted to see a real journalist's watering hole.

Okay, sure, great.

Let's take that table way over in the corner.

If parents have a Nielsen box, I'll just be a minute.

So, Louis, being as I have a... A few

years on you in this journalism game.

Just let me say that, tempting as this story might be, it's the kind of thing

that can come back to haunt you.

I know that some people would be unhappy if I run this story, but I think it was

Walter Lippman who said, freedom depends on whether a journalist puts truth in

first place or in second place.

And I believe you know where I stand.

You're good, Lewis.

I mean, you're really good.

Hey there, Murphy.

Who's this? Miles Replacements?

He's a journalist, and I wouldn't be surprised if we all ended up working for

him one day. Is that right?

Well, Lewis, I'm going to tell you something I tell to every young

who comes into Phil's bar for the first time.

We don't take credit cards.

We only cook with two spices, salt and pepper, and we only serve one kind of

lettuce. Its name is iceberg.

By the way, welcome to Phil's.

What'll it be?

Just a club soda, Phil.

How about you, Lewis?

I have my meatloaf on special.

There's been a heavy demand, but I think I can save you a piece.

I think I'll just have a cheeseburger.

Kid's shrewd, Murphy.

So, Lewis, as I was saying... Murphy, we really need you over there. We're

putting together a list of indictments during the Reagan years, and you're the

only one who knows them by heart. Miles, I'm busy.

And who have we here?

A young nephew?

Lewis Clare, reporter.

The Walt Whitman Gazette. Miles Silverberg, executive producer, FYI.

I don't know, Lewis.

Every network in town is trying to woo her away.

Now the Gazette.

What do you offer, Murphy?

A top locker and a note to get out of gym?

I'll call it.

Phil, you sure to send that tab over to me?

Wait, did you hear that?

He's going to buy us lunch. In the memo, you said he was cheap. Lewis!

Your voice is scary.

I never said he was cheap. I said any network that's busier counting beans

finding good stories is doomed to mediocrity.

Look, I wasn't going to do this, but you want a big story, right?

Right.

Okay, forget the memo.

Lewis, turn on that tape recorder, because I'm about to tell you a story

never told anyone.

I'm going to tell you about the day I decided to check in to Betty Ford.

I'd been working really hard, preparing for an interview with Noriega.

It took a long time to get him to agree to go on camera, and I was really

feeling the pressure.

I was drinking a lot.

Just to keep one step ahead of the panic I always feel before I have to ask the

first question.

The night before we were to fly to Panama, I sat alone in my office.

convinced I'd never be able to pull it off.

So I opened up a bottle of scotch.

I don't remember anything after that. A total blackout.

When I woke up, I was home, but I don't remember how I got there.

I was shaking.

I couldn't even light a cigarette.

I never got on that plane to Panama, but I did get on a plane to Betty Ford, and

it was the hardest thing I've ever done.

Nah, I like the memo better.

What do you mean you like the memo better? What are you, crazy? What

person would like the memo better? Oh, come on, Murphy.

Another celebrity checked into Betty Ford.

Strictly page three.

I don't know. I don't think I want to talk about this anymore.

Okay, okay.

We don't have to talk about it.

Let's talk about Ford.

You like football, Lewis?

Yeah.

I bet you've never been in the Redskins locker room. I could take you there

after school.

What kind of car do you drive? A Porsche, Lewis. Okay. The big one.

Okay.

Then, uh, after work.

And, Lewis, please keep the car out of the street. We wouldn't want to break

laws.

He's put 47 miles on that car just in the driveway. I used to have a clutch.

And I used to have hands like a surgeon. Now look at this.

Cut me some slack, we all. And you know what my week's been like? Taking Lewis

on a special White House tour. Taking Lewis to Andy Rooney's tailor.

Today I spent the entire afternoon in an arcade.

I dropped 40 bucks into Donkey Kong and the kid still couldn't win an extra

game. I'd like to take his neck and twist it like a little...

It's a press club. Did you, Lewis?

Did you really? And guess what I had?

Guess what I had? Guess, guess.

A sandwich. No, I had three shrimp cocktails.

And guess who we saw, Mr. Bernicke? Yes?

Connie Francis.

No, Sam Donaldson. He was at the next table. I asked him for his autograph,

he got really mad.

He'd seen Murphy yell at him. She's practically screaming, and the whole

was looking. It was so cool.

My rates just went up.

a lot of fun today. We did a lot of things.

But it's time we talked about, you know, the memo.

That's right, Lewis. The memo.

I thought we settled all that. You know where I stand.

Lewis, we're talking the bottom line here. Not journalistic ethics. Not

trust. The bottom line.

What's your price?

Your price, Lewis. Everybody has a price. Just tell me what it'll take to

that memo, and it's yours. Think, Lewis. Think very hard.

Well, there is one thing.

Just name it.

Oh, there's this eighth -grade dance Saturday.

They're having a DJ and everything.

I wanted to go with Courtney Ann Simmons, but she likes Jason Robley. You

me to take care of Jason? I can take care of Jason.

No, no, no, no.

I was kind of thinking, you know, maybe you and I

could go together?

Let me understand this, Lewis.

Are you saying that if I go to the dance with you, you'll forget about the memo?

Is that what you're saying?

Go to the dance, no more memo?

You know, it's not like you'd be the tallest girl there.

Andrea Algren is fine. Five foot nine in your sneakers. And we wouldn't have to

dance all the slow dances.

Now, would I be driving or would your parents be picking... Wait a minute.

am I doing?

I'll drive.

Forget it. That's enough.

I've been humiliated enough.

Forget it, Lewis. I'm not going to any junior high school dance. Do what you

want. Because you know what? I can take the consequences of my actions. I knew

what I was doing when I wrote that memo. And in life...

You have to take responsibility for the choices you've made.

So go, Lewis.

Go.

Go print that memo.

Go.

Okay. Okay, fine.

But I'm not leaving without my briefcase.

That was really low, Murphy.

Okay. So, uh, we're up to the student revolt in Beijing.

Uh -huh. That'll make a good contrast to the Supreme Court ruling on flag

burning.

I really have to mention the Vanessa Williams incident.

Some of us are still trying to forget.

Hi, everybody.

Boy, it's great to see you all here together, my buddies, my pals.

I know, I haven't been doing my share lately, but that's going to change

starting here, starting now.

By the way, Frank?

I haven't said this to you in a long time, but I think your pieces are among

most substantive in network television.

And Jim, just driving over here, it occurred to me that for all the years

been behind that anchor desk, you've always remained in touch with your

audience.

And Corky, what can I say?

What can I say?

Okay, Murphy, I got your important message to come down here.

I can see the writing on the wall.

You're going to accept that NBC offer, aren't you? It's the coffee maker thing.

Fine, we'll put a damn espresso machine in your dressing room.

Miles, that was one of the finest examples of authoritative problem

ever seen.

Now, if I could just interrupt the greatest news team in the world, I have

something to share with you.

Oh, God, this is going to be harder than I thought.

Murph, what's the problem? Are you all right, Slugger?

Thanks for caring about me.

You really are good friends.

More than friends.

A family.

Go ahead, Murphy.

Well, a few months ago, I was asked by management to write a critique of the

team. Believe me, it was a memo I never wanted to write. They really pressured

me. Well, you'll never believe what happened. You know that kid who's been

hanging around?

He hacked it off my computer, and it's going to hit the presses in the next few

days. So to save you any undue anxiety, I'm going to show you that memo, because

I know that you'll take it in the spirit of good and honest criticism in which

it was written.

Yes, Jim.

There's a smudge over this word.

What is it?

Uh, stiff.

Stiff, did you say?

Yes, stiff.

Oh, stiff.

Glad we got that off our chest.

Now let's just put all this behind us and get on with our day. How about that

decade in review?

Hey, what is this?

I wrote a lot of good things, too.

Come on, guys.

What,

Ray? Here's the morning papers you asked for. Oh, great.

So,

anything else, Mr. Ruff?

It's not here.

My name is Bob.

Well, if it isn't Horace Greeley.

Saw your little rag today.

What I didn't see was the memo story.

You realize what you put me through?

You realize how many... Here.

What's this?

Every copy of the memo.

You can have them all back.

The story got killed.

Susie Schindler, the butt -brained editor, said it was long and boring and

wanted to run something else.

Obviously, the state of journalism has decayed beyond hope when a food fight in

the cafeteria gets the front page.

All I ever wanted to do was be a good reporter.

I wanted to make a difference.

I wanted to be like you.

Oh, Louis.

I worked so hard on that story.

Nobody else in the Gazette cares about content.

It's not news. It's entertainment.

I give up.

You know, Louis,

This kind of thing has happened to me a few times.

Dad?

How do you think I felt when my special on acid rain got beaten by its Arbor Day

Charlie Brown?

You have to keep going.

What would the world be like if the Copples and the Cronkites and the

decided to cash it in?

You know, Lewis, as many times as I've wanted to strangle you in the last week,

I have to say I respect you.

You're our only hope.

Don't let the butt brains win.

You know I'm right, Lewis.

Yeah, I know.

I feel a little better now.

Thanks.

You're welcome.

So, want to go back to your place and play a little Nintendo?

Lewis?

You don't have time for kid games.

You're a reporter.

You've got a beat to cover.

Yeah.

Oh, there's a new story I'm thinking of doing.

When good whole modelers go bad. Sounds great.

Goodbye, Lewis.

Goodbye, Murphy.

My car keys.

That's right.

Hold it just a minute there.

Now, guys, sorry, but it's been kind of a rough morning. Here's up.

Murphy, we did what you suggested. We put ourselves in your shoes and, well,

decided to forgive you.

After all, we can't very well hate you forever.

Although the idea of one week was kicked around.

Jim, guys, thank you.

We know we're not perfect.

Some of the things you said were valid.

Which thing, Miles?

Oh, why don't we just drop it?

Suddenly I feel a whole lot better.

What about having lunch today? On me.

Hope I can break away from my daredevil schedule.

Frank's having a little problem. He's finding it hard to be as mature as the

rest of us.

Is that true, Frank?

Maybe.

Come on, Frank, give me a break here. What can I do to make it up to you?

I don't know. Yes, you do. You always know.

Name it.

Your parking spot. Are you kidding?

I'm not giving you my parking spot. That's what I want.

Come on, Frank. Don't be a baby. I'll give you something else. I don't want

anything else. How about a Nintendo game? I don't want anything else.