All language subtitles for murphy_brown_s01e06_baby_love

Thank you.

Do clean -out toys R us? Well, wait a
minute. I didn't just buy toys. I got

some books, too.

The cat in the hat.

Make way for ducklings.

Women who love men too much.

If somebody'd had the foresight to give
this to you.

Murphy, I gotta tell you.

I know our mother said this. I know
pregnant women always say this.

But this, you gotta try.

This is the greatest.

No, thanks. I wear very expensive shoes,
and I like to see them.

Come on. Now, don't tell me you've never
even thought about it. Sure, I've

thought about it. But what kind of
mother would I be? The phone rings, and

on a midnight flight to the Sudan.

What if my kids wound up hating me? What
if they wrote a book about me, and it

got made into a movie, and Lonnie
Anderson played me?

It's very scary stuff, Lisa.

Murphy, how long have we known each
other?

I want you to look me in the eye and
tell me you never wanted a baby.

Hey, Eldon, how are you doing? Having a
good day? Yeah.

Oh, got a great idea for a mural in your
bathroom?

Presidents with beards.

Lisa, I want you to meet Eldon Bernicke.
He's working here forever.

Alan, nice to meet you. I see you got a
bun in the oven.

Women are so attractive when they're
pregnant.

You know, it's not too late for you. Buy
yourself a couple of tube tops.

Maybe you'll get lucky.

What?

It's okay, it's okay.

Can't you just kick?

Murph, Murph, you gotta feel this. Get
away. No, no, come on, come on. Just put

your hand right there. Maybe later.

Wait, wait, wait.

Can I try?

They're clean.

Clean. Sure.

Hello, Katie.

My name is Eldon.

I bet you have a beautiful smile.

Whoa, whoa, she gets good for a girl.
Move it, Eldon, let me see.

Jeez, look how late it's gotten.

I gotta go.

Let me help you with this stuff.

You have a file sign?

Oh, yeah, thanks.

Women who love men too much.

Must have been written by a chick with a
big butt.

Yeah, okay.

Murph, I need my stomach back. One
minute. Get your own. It was your idea.

Whoa. Wow.

That was incredible.

Yeah.

Look, Murphy, I know what you can do to
people who rag on you about something.

So if I'm willing to risk this, it must
be pretty important.

Murphy, do not miss this experience.

Or you'll regret it till the day you
die.

Excuse me. Am I in the right place? I'm
looking for the Meridian Hill cryobank.

You found it.

Cryobank. Well, I guess it's better than
having sperm bank plastered across your

business cards.

I have an appointment. My name is Martha
Reeves. Wait a minute.

You are that person on television.

Mary. Mary Brown.

No, Margaret Brown.

Marsha. Millie. Murphy. Murphy! Wow,
yes!

Hi! I'm Sheila Michaels.

Hi. What on earth are you doing here?

Researching a story.

And, uh, I was wondering for my story.

Many women about...

Forty. With no particular man in their
lives, yet wanting to know what it's

to have a baby, and have decided that
adoption is certainly an option for the

future, but would first like to
experience childbirth if they can,

here, right?

Right.

Then you're saying it's not that unusual
that there's something actually

efficient... I, uh, I left it with the
technician.

Harvard Law School. Never had a cavity.

Think about it.

Hello, Miss Brown.

You're slouching again.

Shouldn't do that. Pretty girl like you.

I'll be in my office. Fold my calls.

My, don't you look so very grown up in
your nice blazer.

Thank you.

Is Murphy in? Oh, yes.

But she doesn't want to be bothered. She
just got back from the sperm bank.

People, people, obviously Murphy is
working on a story.

I didn't assign her any story like that.

Oh.

Oh! Come on, now.

We're talking about Murphy.

This is a woman who wrote a letter to
the airline suggesting that children fly

cargo. Yes.

Yes, but we all know the cold, hard
fact.

Murphy's eggs are getting old.

If she's trying to get pregnant, this
could seriously affect the show.

Miles, go in there and see what's going
on.

Oh, sure.

The last time I asked her a personal
question, she told Earl in the mailroom

wanted him.

For what?

Cute, but too many allergies.

Can't dance.

Low SATs.

Mother problems.

Hi, you busy?

No, not really.

Listen, I'm going to be paying my tax.
tonight over in that little club in

Georgetown. Some of the guys asked me if
I wanted to sit in and I could use a

pal in the audience.

You're on. Great. Got time for a little
dinner first? Yeah, I found a really

good new Chinese restaurant with the
most incredible... Mushroom shrimp with

lemon sauce.

Scooped me again.

Give it up, Murph. You know I'm the
best.

What time do you want me to pick you up?

Murph?

You know, Frank, I'm really glad we're
pals.

Did I ever tell you that?

Gee, that's really nice.

I mean, we have so much in common.

We're in the same line of work. We have
the same politics.

We both got thrown out of Est.

Every year the friendship seems to grow.
Don't you think so?

Yeah.

Frank, I want to ask you something.

What?

It's a favor.

So ask me.

It's a big favor.

Oh, come on, Murphy. You want to borrow
my Junior Walker album again? I don't

know. You already put a big scratch on
it. I want you to father my child.

Excuse me?

I want to have a baby, Frank. I need a
father.

I think it could work.

This is a joke, right?

I know what you're thinking. It's a
little unorthodox, but I've done a lot

it. You want to have sex with me, right,
Murph? Is that what you're saying?

You want to have sex with me? Oh, my
God.

Oh, my God!

Frank, please. I don't want to have sex
with you. I'm talking about fertilizing

an egg. We don't even have to be in the
same room.

Oh, this is too weird.

Look, Murph, I think we should forget
dinner tonight. Just listen to me a

minute, okay?

For a long time now, I felt like I was
23, and if I wanted a baby, it was my

choice. Suddenly, I'm 40, and all my
options are disappearing.

I don't want to look back and feel like
I missed something, like I made a

mistake. Don't you ever think about
this, Frank? Yes, but it doesn't involve

you, Murphy.

You're my best friend.

We're pals.

That's why this is so perfect.

We'll be pals forever.

No divorce, no custody battles. Our kid
will be well -traveled and smart and

funny and a good public speaker.

that two sane people are having this
conversation.

How long are you going to wait, Frank?
When are either of us ever in the same

place long enough to meet someone?

Our most enduring relationship is with
the skycap at Dulles Airport.

Come on.

Don't you want someone to carry the gene
for that perfect fall -away jump shot

of yours?

It's the way I arch my wrist. You can't
just cheat there.

Don't wait till you're so old the kid
has to spot you 20 points.

I gotta go, Murph. My hair is falling
out.

Just promise me you'll think about it.

Think about it carefully.

I need to know in two days.

Oh, my God.

That's when I'm fertile.

Oh, my God.

Miles, have you seen Frank? I've been
looking for him all day. I haven't seen

him since yesterday.

Jim, have you seen Frank?

Can't say that I have, Murphy.

I saw him this morning in the parking
lot, sitting in his car, all alone, just

sitting there.

and thinning and... I almost forgot to
tell you.

The fertility clinic called.

They can take your partner tomorrow if
you have one yet.

involved in this, do you? I don't know.
At this point, anything's possible.

The office is no place for stuff like
this, Miles.

How are we supposed to concentrate on
our jobs? He's right.

I've seen what can happen when this sort
of thing pervades the workplace.

Performance suffers.

Facts go unchecked.

Then before you know it, there's a name
in the baby pool.

I never win those things.

Might as well throw my two dollars right
out the window.

Murphy, could I talk to you privately?

Uh, it's really not a good time for me,
Carl. I just want you to remember this.

I'm a modern thinking guy.

These things often take time.

Damina is my middle name.

I have been going crazy.

Babies, babies, they're everywhere. Have
you ever noticed that? In the park, in

the supermarket.

At the basketball game, I saw this guy
with his kids sitting on his shoulders,

wearing this little bullet t -shirt,
calling him daddy.

I couldn't take my eyes off him. I never
would have even noticed two days ago.

Now, now it's all I think about.

I tried to shake myself out of it.

I pictured melted crayons on my
dashboard and lollipops stuck in my

I ended up smiling. I tried braces and
chicken pox and stupid drawings all over

the refrigerator.

Smiling.

What are you saying?

I am saying that two days ago, I thought
that this was the most outrageous idea

I'd ever heard.

Today, it makes perfect sense.

Two friends bringing a child into the
world, caring for it.

if it's a girl, and Anthony if it's a
boy.

We'll talk.

So what do we do now? I've got the whole
thing organized.

I already made an appointment for you at
the fertility clinic.

Noon tomorrow.

I go in at two.

That's it, huh?

Jeez, all those Saturdays with Mr.
Wizard. He never covered this.

Yeah.

Oh, Phil.

Where were your kids these days?

Not in the hospital, not in jail.

I'd have to say they're doing fine.

I know you loved to kid about them, but
I bet you have some great memories from

when they were young.

Ah, one time little Phil kicked the car
out of gear, tore a hole right through

the dining room.

I guess I was thinking about those
smaller moments, taking their first

teaching them how to read.

How many times can you read someone
Horton hears a who and still respect

yourself?

What? What do you mean not good? What
does that mean?

There's a problem.

What do you mean there's a problem? What
kind of problem?

Look, a lot of men have this, Murphy.
It's not unusual, and it's probably

temporary.

It's nothing to do with me as a man, per
se, who has had many dates, several

relationships, and no complaints ever.
Frank, just tell me what it is.

I have decreased motility.

What? I can't hear you.

I said I have decreased motility.

Decreased motility?

Why don't you take out an ad?

What is that, Frank? What is it?

Sperm or swimmers, Murphy, and I don't
have a Mark Spitz in the bunch.

Oh, no, Frank.

It's probably not permanent. This kind
of thing happens to a man when he...

under a lot of stress when he's been
crossing a lot of time zones, messing up

his body clock.

What are we going to do?

There are two alternatives.

One is to wait a few months.

Maybe the situation will improve.

Maybe not.

The other is to proceed by doing it the
regular way.

You mean have actual contact?

Sperm get inspired in their natural
environment.

Oh, God. I know.

How much do we want to do this?

I keep thinking of taking little Anthony
to his first ball game.

Frank, we can't have a child named
little Anthony.

Murphy, would you stick to the subject?

Now, what are we going to do here?

I don't know.

I already bought her first pair of
Italian shoes.

Little socks with rhinestones.

I think it's worth a try, but only if
you do. I wouldn't pressure you. I think

it's worth it, too.

Okay.

We'll just be practical about this.
We'll just commit to it.

We'll do it tonight.

My place or yours?

Yours. I didn't make my bed today.

Bed. I said bed. I'm sorry.

All right, we'll get through this. We
will.

Now, I think it's important we go on
about our day and just act natural.

No one will ever have to know but us.

Well, if it isn't Secretaria.

Can I get you something to drink? Did
you have dinner? Oh, no, I'm fine.

Yeah, I grabbed a bite on the way over.

I had a roast beef sandwich.

Some lettuce, mustard.

Horseradish on the side. Of course you
gotta have that.

Some coleslaw.

This is very awkward.

But you know, it's great. We can admit
it's awkward.

Right. It's so much easier when you're
not going through that horrible thing of

wondering if the other person is
noticing it, too.

Yeah, I know. I hate that.

So, I guess we should get started, huh?
I guess so.

Do you think we should kiss?

Why not?

If that's okay with you. Sure.

I was thinking we could hyphenate its
last name. What? You know, Brown Fontana

or Fontana Brown. I hadn't really
thought about it, but that's okay with

Good.

Religion. What? Well, we never discussed
our beliefs specifically in terms of

raising a child. Where do you stand on
Nietzsche?

Oh, Nietzsche. Now I'm hot.

Come on, Murph. What are you doing? Are
you chickening out on me here?

Is that what you think? I'm not
chickening out. I can do this.

Okay, let's go.

I'm sorry. Are you bleeding?

No, I don't think so. It was my fault. I
didn't expect you to move.

Well... It

was nice.

You're just saying that. I can do
better. I can't seem to relax my lips.

all look different. Are you going to
talk during this whole thing? I know

women like to do that, but it's always
bothered me.

Okay, let's go.

I've got an idea.

Let's turn on some music. We'll play it
really loud, and then we can turn off

all the lights in the house so that it's
really dark and we can't see anything.

That's worked for me before.

This is no good.

Okay, so it's tricky.

We knew that, but I think basically it's
a good plan.

Murph, I hate to ask this, but do you
have anything with black lace? I think

would help me.

Frank, you'll hate me forever.

But I can't go through with this.

Oh, don't do this to me, Murph. I'm
ready.

Not this second, but... I mean, I'm
ready for a kid.

I'm sorry, Frank.

It's just that there's this side of me
that keeps coming out. I try to squelch

it, but it just doesn't work sometimes.

I have this image of me in a wedding
dress, and there's bridesmaids and

girls. There's this... Great guy
standing at the end of the aisle. This

frightening. Wait, it gets worse.

There's a harpist.

Oh, gee.

You know, it's not me. It'll never be
me.

But maybe if I wait just a little while,
there's still a chance I could have a

baby with someone I love.

Well, thanks.

Thanks a lot.

That's not what I meant.

Look, I didn't know this was going to
happen, but you've got to admit you're a

little relieved.

Yeah, just a little.

You've got time. Yeah, I got a lot of
time. Guys, you know, they can make

well into their 50s, 60s even. Maybe
sometimes... Shut up, Frank.

You're great.

You'll never know.

It would have been some kid.

I agree with you there.

Hey, uh... What do you think it would
have been like if we'd... You mean if

actually... You know, a kid's much
better than that. Women tell me all the

It's not like... It never leaves this
room.

Ever.