All language subtitles for They.Might.Be.Giants.1971.PowerhouseFilms.IndicatorSeries.BDRip.720p_track8_eng

No.

Bad news, I guess.
Sign here, please.

-What?
-Here.

Where it says, "received by".

My brother's lost his mind.
The doctor says it's permanent.

I'm putting him away.

The minute he's committed,
I'll be rich.

I'm his executor.
I'll handle all his money.

I'll start now.

I'll get commitment papers signed.
That's easy.

But a judgement
from a court takes time.

I don't get paid if you don't sign.

Are you from them
or are you just a messenger?

-Who are you, anyway?
-I'll find out for you, if you like.

It's of no consequence, old sport.
Don't bother.

As you wish.

Doesn't anybody sign this?

-I'll be glad to.
-Oh, thank you.

Don't you have a handkerchief?

Not on my salary.

Oh, thank you.

By the way,
you suffer from lumbago.

You're hagridden by your wife,
you keep a sheepdog for a pet,

and you had chicken soup
for breakfast.

I just love it when you do that.

Yes, he's a messenger,
all right.

Ah! Blackmail.

Just what I've been waiting for.

"Never!

"Not one penny!"

-Really, Justin.
-Don't be frightened. I'll protect you.

Here. Give them this.

Oh, if that's a message,
I've gotta charge you for it, sir.

Give that dog of yours
more, er... meat.

I think he's got pellagra.

Oh, bless you, sir. Bless you.

Don't touch it.

It's my clue.

I, er...
shan't be up for lunch.

We're going to the clinic.

If you need me,
I'll be downstairs in the laboratory.

Wait!

The clinic?
Oh, not another specialist!

I'm always so afraid
they'll make him well.

I like him this way.

Get him, will you, Daisy?

Something's wrong. I know it.

I can always tell
when something's wrong.

You're in awful trouble,
aren't you?

Just go get him.

You were such a nice man
when I married you.

Do what I tell you to.
I've had enough.

We're going straight
to Dr Strauss.

Land sakes alive.

There isn't any doubt, is there?

My goodness. No, indeedy.
He's incurably psychotic.

-That means he's committable?
-And then some.

Is there room here for him?

Always room for one more,
Mr Playfair.

Especially for kin of yours.

You see,
there's a spider up there.

There.

He's got huge teeth,

-and he's coming at me!

-Doctor.
-He's coming at me.

-He's coming at me!
-Doctor. Mildred.

Now, is that
what your dream was like?

-Mildred. Mildred.
-Dr Strauss, I am with a patient!

This here is Mr Playfair,
an important member of our board.

How do you do, Mr Playfair?
I'm sorry, but I'm busy right now.

It's about my brother.
He's a hopeless paranoid.

Is that your medical opinion, sir?

It's the consensus
of your staff.

He has a sizeable estate
he isn't fit to handle.

It's my duty to commit him,
and, er... I need your signature.

-Without examining the patient?
-That was never in my mind.

-He's upstairs waiting.
-I have another patient waiting.

Have them bring him down.

This gentleman is Mr Small.

We're having some trouble
getting him to verbalise.

Is that correct, Mr Small?

He can speak,
but he just won't.

Now, Mr Small cannot afford
to go to another doctor.

All my life I have worked with people
who have no place else to go.

I'm sorry to seem unreasonable,

but, if you want me,
you'll have to wait for me.

I expect you'd better finish
with him later, Mildred.

Dr Strauss, you are a money raiser.
Go and raise money!

I am a doctor.
Leave me to my work!

Nurse, take him to the ward.

He stays with me.

Now, ma'am,
you are flouting my authority.

It's all right.

Y'all take this poor unfortunate away,
ya hear?

Not in my office, you don't!

-That's an order!
-No. Oh, Mr Small!

Mr Small! Oh!

No! Oh!

Oh, you fool!
You've ruined weeks of work.

You ape!
Get that thing off of him.

Release that man.

No-one belongs in one of those.

If you please.

Ha! Yee! Hah!

A classic paranoid. Fantastic.

I don't think
I've ever done it better.

Well, now.

They'll think twice next time.
Are you all right?

Who let this happen?
Who's in charge here?

Mr Small, I'm so sorry.
Can you forgive me?

Don't let her off so lightly.

Is she decent to you?

You like her?

She didn't do this to you, then?

Who did?

You did.

I guess you're
Sherlock Holmes, after all.

You don't at all. You think I'm mad.
You analysts are all alike.

Thinks you're mad, too,
I suppose?

Why? Because you won't talk?
Typical.

Why is it analysts
can't ever analyse?

Don't tell me you've deduced
what's wrong with Mr Small.

Not yet.
I can do if you like.

Will you nod when I'm right?

Now, why should an obviously
proper gentleman refuse to talk?

Because he hasn't been introduced.

We don't know who you are,
but once we do know, then you'll talk.

Now, where is the logic?

Think. He can talk, but he won't.

The silence is the clue there.

No coaching, please.
I work by pure deduction.

Now, who was silent?

Who had everything but sound?

The mutes of history?
No, they couldn't talk. He can.

A monk with vows of silence!

No sound, no sound.

Why, the early movies.

Why, the man's a silent film star.

Which one?

The most unlikely one.
It's only logical.

That means he's brave, hm?
A man of action.

Stern, aloof, yet passionate.

By God. Rudolph Valentino.

Sherlock Holmes.

An honour, sir.

I've read your books.
I'm really quite a fan of yours.

I'll be damned.

Tell him how much you liked him
in The Sheik.

This is ridiculous.

You didn't like me?

Oh, no, no.
You were very good.

I wish we had you
on the staff here.

You could use me. Well, I must be off.
My best to Vilma Banky.

Oh, couldn't we just sit down and talk?
We could discuss your work.

I'm very sorry.
I'm a terribly busy man.

-I don't have time to be examined.
-Are you working on a case?

Better save your strength
for Mr Small.

The chances are
he isn't really Valentino.

-Well, I like that.
-No of fence. I have daily office hours.

If you feel the need
of a consultation,

please, feel free to call
for an appointment.

Yes...

Yes, no clues of any kind.
It all points to Moriarty.

I've found all the tests
are negative.

--Damn.

Justin?

Ten to one that moron doctor
wants to see me.

Someone's here
who wants to see you.

Holmes, why are you never wrong?

Really, Doctor,
do you have to see him?

Oh, absolutely.
One good session with him. I insist.

May we come in?

-Right this way.

It's amazing. Classic paranoia.
What an opportunity.

It's really sort of cosy.

Did he do all this himself?

I helped a little.
He's not here.

He's probably hiding.
Does he have a hiding place?

A secret panel.
How'd you know?

Oh, they always do.

He'll come out when he's ready.

You say he used to be a lawyer?

And a judge.
He was a brilliant man.

It's just marvellous.

Oh, we shopped at Abercrombie's.

You'll just have to forgive me,
but I haven't seen a classic since...

the spring of '59.
They're very rare, you know.

How long has he been
Sherlock Holmes?

Since Lucy, er...
Since his wife died. For about a year.

And how long
does each attack go on?

Oh, all day, every day.
He's never Justin anymore.

Do you remember
when the symptoms first started?

That's hard to say.
He was a great reformer.

Always out to make things better,
Justin was.

-He, er... lived on books.
-Detective fiction, mostly.

You don't think
you can cure him, do you?

Cure a classic?

Once in a generation.

It's a marvellous disease,
you know.

The victim's faculties grow keener,

and ultrasensitive.

And he's capable of things
that seem like genius.

-Where's the secret panel?
-Oh, he won't tell us.

Watch, I'll bring him out.

You see, the classic
changes his identity.

And everything is very mysterious
and there's evil lurking everywhere.

And dollars to doughnuts
behind it all is Professor Moriarty.

Look, give her money for a taxi.
Send her home.

You be nice now.

Will you be taking me
to Mesmerisers next?

If you'll excuse us.

We'll be upstairs, Doctor.

I don't suppose there's any point
in asking you to go.

You don't mind
if I get on with my work?

Oh, no. Go right ahead.

The usual procedure is to start off
with family questions.

Background data, childhood
recollections, traumas and the like.

Well, come, come.
Ask me anything you like.

I'm at your service.

What are you doing?

Just routine.
It wouldn't interest you.

Why don't we start off
with my father?

Why? Does it bother you
to talk about him?

Not in the least.
What would you like to know?

Well, a stern man, wasn't he?
Aloof and cold?

I really couldn't say.
I don't remember him.

Well, your mother
must've been a lovely woman.

What's your earliest memory of her?

-I haven't any.
-None? You don't remember her at all?

No more, I'd say,
than you remember yours.

Your father raised you,
didn't he?

I'd say he was a doctor, too.
Country practice, Midwest.

-You're not bad.
-It isn't guesswork, either.

It's observation of detail,
deduction.

-Couldn't that paper wait?
-I often do two things at once.

If necessary,
I can manage three or four.

-Now, about your wife.
-What wife?

You know, I have a feeling
you're resisting me.

Because I can't recall
a wife I never had?

Let's see now...

Kentucky pulp, rag content zero,

Twelve-pound weight,
produced for Woolworth's, 39 a box.

That's interesting.

Do you really believe
that paper came from Woolworth's?

-Where do you think it came from?
-I have no opinion.

Yes, you do.
You think I'm wrong.

Well, I take it a great many people
think you're wrong.

-Don't you have anything to do?
-I'm doing it.

What is that?
Is that a clue?

-Yes, it is a clue.
-Well, tell me about it.

I'm a patient, humble,
understanding man.

Why don't you
come back next week

and I'll play twenty questions
with you all you like.

I love games. I always have.
But...

not today.

No, not when
it's life and death.

Are you in danger?

There is a master plan
and that is the master clue.

It holds the date and time and place
where he lies waiting for me.

-Who?
-Professor Moriarty.

He taunts me, Doctor.

He could kill me anytime.
He has agents everywhere.

But, no... No, he wants
another kind of victory first.

Those two words "twenty grand"
are a challenge,

and he wants to see me fail.

I've got to find their meaning
and be waiting, ready for him.

If I don't, I die.

I take it you've met
face to face before?

I really couldn't say.
The man is a master of disguise.

That's going to make him
very difficult to catch.

I wouldn't have him
any other way.

He's the greatest enemy a man
could have. He's everywhere! Look.

"Girl Scout killed crossing street."

"Grandmother raped and beaten."

"Orphanage in flames, five die."

"Excursion boat explodes."

Who does these things?
Who's responsible?

-Well, they might be accidents.
-I don't believe in accidents.

Take Mr Small, for instance.
How did I bring that off?

'Cause there are two laws in life.

All things are logical.
They must make sense.

And no things are ever
exactly what they seem.

Each "accident”
is part of a design.

And every object
has its secret side.

-Was that how you did it?
-Is it so insane?

I didn't use that word.

Yes, but you think it.
That's what brought you here.

No, I came here
because your brother...

-You do have a brother, don't you?
-Blevins. Yes, of course.

You've remembered something
from your past.

I know all about my past,
and Blevins isn't in it.

He's not in
"The Speckled Band" or...

Check it out.
I've been completely written up.

Still, if he needs to think we're brothers,
let him use me.

I can answer when he calls me Justin.
After all, it's only a name.

Do many people call you Holmes?

No, scarcely anyone.

That must make you
very much alone.

It does that,
but it doesn't make me wrong.

I've listened to so many doctors
tell me who I am.

I've studied Justin Playfair. I've read
all his books, his papers, his decisions.

Everything he did.

He tried to make the world
the kinder place it might have been.

It drove him mad.
He lost his mind.

But I am not that man.

I'd like to visit you
from time to time.

What for?
I don't need doctoring.

-Mr Holmes...
-Don't call me that.

You don't believe I'm Holmes.
I won't be patronised.

You don't have to snap at me.

A lunatic is entitled to his temper!
Go away!

I want to help you.

"Twenty grand.”
A sum of money, but what else?

-I'm on your side.
-Nobody's on my side.

Ah, the whole world
is against you. Typical.

Now, when did this sense
of persecution start?

When you walked in.

If you're not careful,
I'm going to walk right out.

Woman, I have got to think!
My life depends on what I think.

-Your life depends on me.
-Well, God help me, then.

Put down that ridiculous violin.

Holmes fiddles when he thinks.

That's awful.

But I absolutely cannot play
the goddamn thing!

-Stop laughing at me.
-I'm not laughing.

I'll show you. That paper is real.
Moriarty's real. I am not mad.

You want to test me out?
Let's test me out on you.

-Very well.
-You'll tell me when I'm wrong.

I'll shake when wrong
and nod when right, like Mr Small.

-Are you ready?
-Go right ahead.

You're left-handed.

Your molars and incisors,
lower right, are false.

You tint your hair
and have a vitamin deficiency.

You were a tomboy and an only child.
Your adolescence was a nightmare.

And you didn't lose your ache
until your middle-20s.

You can neither cook nor sew, and your
apartment needs a thorough cleaning.

You suffer from insomnia
and sometimes drink yourself to sleep.

You think you're homely
and you're glad you're growing old.

You bite your nails.
You're frightened you're a failure,

but you're lost without your work.
I've got more. Do you want it?

By all means.

You haven't any friends.

You have never been engaged.

No-one you've loved
has ever loved you back.

You're stubborn and inflexible.

You've got a temper
that you can't control.

That suit is ten years old and you annoy
the living Jesus out of me.

Now it's my turn.

I'm going to stay right here.

Go, stay.
What you do doesn't interest me.

-The hell it doesn't.
-I forgot, you swear.

Listen, my name is Watson,
Mildred Watson.

I'm a doctor.
I'm not beautiful or rich or ambitious

and about the only thing
I care about in life is to cure.

Now, I have offered you
what skills I have

and, in return, you have fought,
and you have jeered,

and you have tried to hurt me.
But never mind.

I don't care.
All I feel is dedication.

-Watson?
-Shut up. I am not finished.

I am a dedicated doctor, sir,
and I will cure you if it kills me!

Watson? No, that's impossible.

I mean, good Lord,
I am the underdog, but this...

Are you quite sure
you're Dr Watson?

You are to show up in my office
tomorrow morning at ten o'clock!

I'm terribly sorry, but...
You just won't do.

-There must be some mistake.
-Here's my address.

Fool. Fool! It's an address!

Twenty Grand is an address.
Are you ready, Watson?

-What?
-We haven't any time to lose. Come on.

Well, aren't you coming with me?
It's going to be my greatest case.

You wouldn't want to miss
the chance to write it up.

She'll come. She's coming.
There she is.

My chronicler and good right arm.

Frankly, I'm a little disappointed.

But if anyone can make a detective
out of you, I'm the man. Let's go.

Come along, Watson.
Where's your pluck?

I ought to call the clinic.

They'll never miss you.
Follow me.

We're coming for you, Moriarty.

We may not look like much.
We may not have your weapons.

We may lack your dark allies.
Why, we may even lose.

I'm not invincible.
God knows she's no asset.

But together, sir,
we may surprise you.

Do your worst. We're on our way.
Watch out.

-Where are we going?
-Grand Street, naturally. 20 Grand.

What are we going to do
when we get there?

If I'm right, we'll find the meaning
of the master clue.

-You can't just barge in.
-I never barge.

I infiltrate. I filter. Here.

You'd better practise.
Walk like this.

-What if it's somebody's home?
-We'll visit.

-Or a store?
-We'll browse.

-What if somebody...
-I'll do the thinking, thank you.

You're not practising.

I can't afford to be seen creeping
along the street in broad daylight.

You must be good for something.

-Are you any good with firearms?
-Guns?

I don't suppose you know much
about jujitsu, either.

No, you wouldn't.

If I'm such a liability,
what do you want me for?

You mustn't feel inferior.

Try saying to yourself,
"I'm adequate."

-Mr Playfair, really.
-Come on. Try.

-I'm adequate.
-Good girl.

-Here.
-Oh, great Caesar's ghost.

Strange things go on
in Greenwich Village. Take it.

It's not loaded, is it?

Well, I can't shoot down Moriarty
with imaginary shells.

Now, catlike, on your toes.
We've got to find the clue.

-What if there isn't one?
-There will be.

Moriarty won't disappoint me.

If you don't know
what you're looking for...

Half the trick in finding clues
is knowing that they're there. Ah...

We're getting closer now.

How innocent these houses look.

That's bad.

The worst things
always seem like innocence.

Look!

What do you think?

It's the telephone company.

Just the place
he'd leave a message for me.

You're not going
to cause a scene?

The essence of method
lies in quiet and surprise.

Look, can't we talk this over
in my office, please?

They're expecting us.
Remember, be prepared for anything.

Now, don't shoot unless
it's absolutely necessary.

Information. May I help you?

Please, you've got to talk to me.
You've got to listen.

Sorry, we may not divulge
that information.

You've got
to help me find him.

Miss, I told you when you called.

We cannot give out
that information on the phone.

But... that's why I came here.
I'm not on the phone now.

-So you'll tell me, won't you?
-I'm not allowed to talk to you.

We only give out information
on the telephone.

But you refused to give it
to me on the telephone.

I'm sorry. If you wanna talk to me,
you'll have to call me on the telephone.

-Where is the telephone?
-Right there.

Listen to the misery.

That means we're getting close.
Let's see if there's a message.

Madam, the crash is out of town.

You need long distance information.

Have you anything for me?

The input's on the fritz.
I think the rheostats are shorting.

You see?
I knew they were expecting us.

The game begins.

-Oh, no. You can't do that.
-My clue is inside.

Information. May I help you?

You've got to help me, please.

I don't know where he lives,
but we're in love.

He called me half an hour ago.
He just found out he failed his bar exam.

He's taken sleeping pills.
He said goodbye.

He's dying
and he isn't in the phone book.

He's probably unlisted.

We've saved him.
What's his number?

Sorry, we may not divulge
unlisted numbers.

His address. Forget the number.
Give me his address.

I'm sorry.
No addresses on the telephone.

But I'm not on the telephone.
I'm here!

We only give out information
on the telephone.

I can't go on.

This is unendurable.

You there.
Give me the unlisted list.

Send a guard to the information room.

Well, you there!
At once.

Why, you care.

I do.

I'm finished here.

It doesn't matter. Here.

Take it.

Here, child.

My name is Grace.

I wish I had something beautiful
to give you.

But I don't.

Okay, girls, what's the trouble?

It's the repairman.

What repairman?

Mr Playfair, do something.

Draw your pistol, Watson.
Keep him covered.

-I will not.
-They got guns. Call the cops.

Right.
What's their number?

Fool. He's got my clue.

Um... Excuse me,
that magazine you're holding.

-Stop right there.
-I don't suppose you'd let me see it.

It's a Double-Crostic.
I haven't finished it yet.

You know the crosswords
in The London Times”?

Yeah, I heard about 'em.
They're the best.

Last Sunday. Here.
Have a look..

Oh... Oh!

Hello, police.

Run for it! Mildred!

How do I know what precinct?

I can't call Information.
I am Information.

Watson, your first impression
of detective work. You like it?

No.

Good girl. I know how girls are.
"No" means "yes".

I haven't been a girl in twenty years.
When I say "no", I mean "no"!

You have any notion
of what you've done?

I've found two clues, a Double-Crostic
and a girl named Grace.

You could've jeopardised
my whole career.

Wasn't much of a career
from what I could see of it.

Now, hold the phone.

Grace. What could Grace mean?

Do you realise
that I have been published?

And that I have three degrees.

And that I've... I've had
a Rockefeller and a Guggenheim.

And I've studied in Vienna.

Tuesday. It's tomorrow.
"Tuesday's child is full of grace."

-We're meeting him tomorrow!
-No, no, Mr Playfair. Listen.

I'm no good to you here. Really.
I can't work under these conditions.

I mean, look at this place.

-Okay, okay. What's going on?
-Good morning, Officer.

Why, Mr Rathbone.
It's an honour, sir.

They want you up the street
at number 20.

Yes. I've just been there.

-You're the ones.
-Quick thinking.

I wonder, if you see them later,
would you give this back?

She's unorthodox,
I'll grant you.

If she didn't bring him here,
where are they?

Moseying along.
I expect they'll get here soon.

I've got to get
those papers signed.

She'll sign 'em. Yes, indeedy.

-I didn't write that.
-Someone did.

My brother.

Oh, that's just great!

He knows.
This nut knows all about me.

He'll be in a cell.
What can he do?

You get his money
if he dies, right?

-Where's he at?
-He's disappeared.

All right, here's how it is.

You find him first,
it's the loony bin for life.

I find him first and...

Let's go!

Get that guy
in the hotel window.

He's got me pinned down.

-Where are we?
-Er, last reel. The ambush scene.

-Is that a screen back there?
-We're five flights up.

I know. I counted 'em.

It's that vitamin deficiency.
You ought to eat more leafy things.

-Here, hold on. I know the way.
-Shh!

-God, Justin. Is he dead?
-He's quite all right. He lives here.

-What? All the time?
-Except for Saturdays.

You see, we have no showers
in the men's room,

so he bathes
in Pennsylvania Station.

Here, have a sweet.

Man. Not again.

Do that again.

What are they doing?

Shut your trap
and watch the movie!

It's all right, Maud.
She's with me.

Why, Mr Holmes.

Oh, you missed
a lovely one yesterday.

It's good to have you back, sir.

Thank you, Maud.
Have some popcorn while it's hot.

No, thank you.

-What's wrong?
-Nothing.

We missed lunch.
You really ought to have something.

I'm an adult.
I can feed myself, all right?

Sorry. No of fence.

Just watch the movie, all right?

Watson?

Why so moody?

You're not watching. You can't see
a thing without your glasses.

-Watson?
-Yes.

Regardless of your feelings
on the matter, I...

have enjoyed
collaborating with you

and I'm very pleased
that you're here.

I wouldn't be here
except for the police.

Yes, I am sorry about that.

What am I going to do with you?

You might try smiling.
Nothing much, just once a day or so.

- I will have some candy.
-Help yourself.

Oh, it's Jujyfruits.

I broke three sets
of braces on those.

She'll be there!
She'll save you!

God bless you,
Barbara Stanwyck.

You want to know something?

You were right
about my adolescence.

It was awful.

And my apartment is a mess
and I can't cook.

You like the movies, hmm?

Only westerns.

All the other doctors
found it most amusing.

I don't find it amusing,
just curious.

It isn't even that.

If you look closely down there, Watson,
you can see principles.

You see the possibility
of justice and proportion.

You can see men
move their own lives.

There are no masses
in Virginia City.

Only individuals
whose will for good or bad

can bring them to the ends
they ought to have.

I like that very much.

Why did I have to meet you now?

What's wrong with now?
We're together and we're after Moriarty.

There isn't any Moriarty.

-There is!
-You dreamt him up!

If I am Holmes,
there has got to be a Moriarty.

-Well, what if you're not Holmes?
-Let me see now.

One word left blank.
"Electric news", eleven letters.

Justin, I want to help you.
Would you please just let me try?

Think, man!

Man, I gotta
groove or blow my mind.

Let's go some place and groove.

-Let's groove here.
-Groovy. Groovy.

What's groove?

My God!

Madam, you are creating
a disturbance.

-But they're grooving!
-Madam, I warned you. Usher!

Usher!

This woman's the fuzz.
I'm gonna bust her.

-No, I'm not. No.
-This woman woke me up.

-You making trouble?
-No, I'm not.

Shh!

-Out!
-No! Justin!

-Okay, Mom.
-I've got it! Watson, quick.

-Where is my shoe?
-Why, it's Mr Holmes.

We're coming, Moriarty!

All this gum. It's like a swamp.

Stop dawdling!

I think they're growing mushrooms.

-Damn it, Watson.
-Justin, give me my shoe!

My shoe!

-Against the wall. Get back.
- I will not! This is idiotic.

-Quiet!
-I've got a run in my stocking.

-Creep forward.
-My feet hurt.

-Shut up.
-I want my shoe!

You want to get us killed?

No, just one of us.
I've got a blister on my foot.

Holmes, you are fantastic.

"Electric news", eleven letters...
Times Square.

Yes. Just the sort of place he'd...

Now, if I were Moriarty,
where would I...?

-Let's try him.
-Why him?

You never know.

I'd like a bag
of chestnuts, please.

-I'm out of chestnuts.
-Odd. I took you for a chestnut man.

-I am a chestnut man.
-A chestnut man who's out of chestnuts?

That's the picture,
but there's no chestnuts.

We're in luck.
When does the professor go on strike?

Tomorrow sometime.
Check the papers.

Midnight.
We meet tomorrow midnight.

It's not Moriarty who's striking.
It's Columbia.

He had to get the message
to me somehow.

Now, the clue
that leads us to the place...

He put it somewhere obvious
but... unexpected.

My clue, my clue.

Oh, my God!

Stop! My clue!
My clue's in this!

Taxi! Taxi!

Taxi! Help!

-I'm off duty. Can't you read?
-Your sign says "on".

Tough. I'm going back
to the garage.

Listen, I'm a doctor and this is
an emergency, and you can stuff it!

-He hurt you.
-Nonsense. Never better. Like a rock.

You look awful. Here.
Wait a minute. Here.

You look a little shot yourself.

No, it's all right.
I'll be all right in a minute.

Here. Have a nip.

-I don't know what came over me.
-Drink up.

I have never been like that
before in my life. Honestly.

I don't know
what you must think of me.

I think I'll make
a detective out of you yet.

Hey, no boozing in my hack!

Speak when you're spoken to.

You came through very nicely.
I'd like to thank you for defending me.

I didn't defend you. I attacked them.
There's a difference.

It's all the same.

I wish you'd stop thanking me
for everything I do.

You are the touchy one, aren't you?

You don't want anyone
to owe you anything.

Perhaps you ought
to be the analyst.

I'm only a gifted amateur.

Here. What do you make of it?

God, you're just like
Don Quixote.

You think everything
is always something else.

Well, he had a point. Of course,
he carried it a bit too far. That's all.

He thought that every windmill
was a giant. That's insane.

But thinking
that they might be...

Well, all the best minds
used to think the world was flat.

But what if it isn't?
It might be round.

And bread mould
might be medicine.

If we never looked at things
and thought of what they might be,

we'd all still be out there
in the tall grass with the apes.

Look, are we cruising,
taking in the sights or what?

Sixth Avenue and Tenth. And if you
want a nickel tip, keep talking.

Hey, wait a minute! My shoe!

Ah, to hell with it.

Where are we?
What is this place?

Wilbur... Wilbur.

Your latest text on sanitation,
if you please.

I'll get it, Mr Holmes.

We're closing in.
This time, with any luck, he's mine.

You're meeting Moriarty?

It's happening at last.

-I'm very happy for you.
-Thank you, Wilbur.

This creature
has attached herself to me.

You talk to her.

So, you're a friend
of Mr Holmes?

Yes. I'm Dr Watson.
How do you do?

Oh, how nice.

No, I am Dr Watson.

Would you like to see
my driver's licence?

He's waited for you such a long time.
I'm so glad he's found you.

Listen, I'm his doctor.
I'm a licensed analyst.

Of course you are, my dear.

There...

Dr Watson.

Dr Watson. Dr Mildred Watson.

Dr Watson. It's me.

And now I've got you all upset.
I'm sorry, Doctor.

Who does he think you are,
Lestrade of Scotland Yard?

He calls me Wilbur.
It's my name. Wilbur Peabody.

You don't know what I've been through.
And look at him!

Oblivious.
He's like that when he concentrates.

Have you known him very long?

For over thirty years,
since he was very small.

Oh, he was such
a serious young man.

The dustier the book,
the more he studied it.

Now he studies guns,
fisticuffs, acrobatics.

Have you been hired
to cure him, Doctor?

Just the opposite, I think.

I'm not quite sure I understand.

I'm not quite sure I do, either.

What am I supposed to do?

I've got my work! I'm busy!
And I'm satisfied.

And I've got a perfectly
fascinating schizoid case at eight.

And if I hurry, I'll make it.

Nothing. Damn!

Garbage.

Yes, it's garbage.
That's all it is. Garbage!

-Think, Watson.
-No, I'm not your Watson.

-And I've had enough.
-What's wrong with you?

I've lost my shoe.
I've got a gun in my pocketbook.

The cops are after me.
And for what?

One minute you're all smiles
and the next...

I'm going back
to where I belong.

The clinic?

Yes, the clinic.

They're gonna put you in there
and there's nothing I can do about it.

I cannot help you
because I cannot make you well!

You don't think I'm insane.
Not you.

I'm Holmes.
I am Sherlock Holmes!

I've got a patient waiting.

I'm a doctor. I heal the sick!

Watson!

Watson!

Silly woman. Go ahead!

I've always been alone.

-Wilbur?
-Yes, Mr Holmes?

What does garbage
in a shopping bag suggest to you?

-She'll come back.
-Do you think I care?

I don't suppose
you'd like to work with me.

I'd be honoured.
But I'm much too old.

I never think of you as old.

Neither do I.

But every morning when I see that
old face peering at me from the glass,

I count my years, I tote 'em up,
and sure enough, I come out old.

-You don't want me.
-Well... I don't want anyone.

I have my errand.
I have Moriarty.

Come on, Professor.
Strike me now!

You see? I frighten him.

He knows what I can do.

Wilbur?

Yes?

She went away
in stockinged feet.

She'll catch her death of cold.

-Watson!
-Lord have mercy, Doctor.

Seemed like
you done disappeared.

I got the police out
looking for you.

Listen, it's late
and I'm tired, okay?

Well, I'm mighty weary
waiting for that paranoid of yours.

Quick like a bunny now,
you bring him in and sign these papers.

-He's not here.
-You're joshing me.

I left him in the reading room.

And, as for signing papers,
you can stick 'em in your ear!

Lookie here now, Mildred. If you
wanna lose your job, you go on talkin'.

Heinrich, you've got
yourself a deal!

What's the matter?

-Nothing much.
-What are you doing here?

I had an urge to read.

Fascinating book.

What's wrong, Holmes?
Are you ill?

That is the question.

You're my final friend.
Do you know that?

-You're the last.
-Where's Dr Watson?

-Tell me something offhand.
-She won't leave you.

Who would you say I was?

I've spent
quite a lot of time researching.

This is the perfect place for me.

Who's Who.

No, not for me, for him.

I have to be very clear
on that point.

What you need is some breakfast.
Would you like a jelly doughnut?

Listen.

Here he is. Playfair, Justin.

Born New York City, 1923.

Harvard College, Harvard Law.

Thesis published, '48.

Married, 1950.
Lucy Clark.

Pretty name, Lucy.

Lucy.

Lucy.

Just a name.

Doesn't mean anything.

There are his accomplishments.

Why, he's a happy man.

And proud.

Me?

For Christ's sake,
which is my life?

I've got some chicken broth.

-You haven't answered me.
-I'll heat it up.

Where are my memories?

I can't remember childhood.

- Have no past.
-That's not so bad.

I haven't either.

There's got to be more
in here than Moriarty.

I dreamed it all.

-That must be it.
-Stop feeling sorry for yourself.

What's wrong with being
Sherlock Holmes, I'd like to know?

Sometimes I wish to God...
I were the Scarlet Pimpernel.

You do?

A fop by day,

but after dark, I ride.

Abuse the meek, will you?

Have that!

Who am I?!

"Is he in heaven? Is he in hell?
That damned elusive Pimpernel."

What's that?

You want to see
the face behind the mask?

This is the face.

-I think that's beautiful.
-Thank you.

And now,
I think I'll call up Dr Watson.

Please don't do that.
I couldn't face her.

I've been trapped
in the goddamn subway for an hour!

-Justin, thank heaven.
-I'm busy. Go away.

I couldn't sleep.
I've been so worried. Look at that.

They've been searching
for you every place.

Pull yourself together, man!

Blevins wants your money
and he's gonna lock you up to get it.

Now, here's my plan.

Do you think I'm Holmes
or don't you?

That's beside the point.

I'm sorry,
but it's the only point I've got!

All right, I'll tell you what.
I'll challenge you.

First, we'll search for garbage,
and then we'll put the heat on Blevins.

-Is that fair enough?
-You're patronising me again.

I'm Watson!

I'm here, ready for the chase.

Now, come on.
A shopping bag full of garbage.

Think. The city dump.
No, that's much too obvious.

-I won't be patronised!
-Not just any shopping bag.

Now, this one said,
"Back to school."

That must be the way
to solve it. Schools.

How many different kinds
of schools are there?

Library school?
I like you, Doctor.

Now, let's begin.
There's public, private, parochial...

-Divinity and finishing.
-Why are you doing this?

-Prep.
-Rabbinical.

-Charm.
-And schools of fish.

-Why have you come?
-To save your neck.

-You care for me?
-I care for all my patients.

Huh! Florence Nightingale.

You're damn right.

-Drama school.
-And music school.

-Grammar.
-High.

-Postgraduate.
-Berlitz.

-Dance.
-Military.

-Cooking.
-Charm.

-You said that.
-I did not!

Well, we can't be out of schools.
Let's name some more.

That's it. It's a name.

The bag's a name. Someone named Bag
has got to have a school.

Come on.
What kind of a name is Bag?

What difference does it make?
Wilbur, quick, a telephone directory.

-Right away.
- I like you, Watson. You have qualities.

I suppose I do.

Of course, they are
rather nutty qualities,

but I don't mind.
May I be frank?

I'm very glad you're here.
I like you very much.

-Regular classified.
-Good man.

This won't take a minute.
I could use that jelly doughnut.

Wilbur, if anybody should ask you,
you haven't seen us.

I've got it! I was right again!

Quick, Watson.
We're gaining on you, Moriarty!

After you.

She came back.

There it is.

What an awful place.

It is evil, right enough.
You ready?

Well, what if we get separated?

Yes, we need a rendezvous.

-Why don't we meet at my apartment?
-Good idea.

I'll even cook you supper.

You can't cook.
You don't even know how.

Well, I have a fine mind.
I can learn.

-Seven o'clock?
-Seven sharp.

Now, try looking academic.

We're two students
come to register.

It must be some kind of academy.
Where is it?

Top floor. Room 67.

Up these stairs. Stay close.

Don't lose me.

This door hasn't been used
in twenty years.

Make that thirty.

Strange.

Maybe our clue is out here.

A pigeon with a message, possibly.

Don't!

We are going to matriculate.

This may be a trap.

Nice sort of school.
Just our kind of place.

Keep your pistol ready.

Ah... Good afternoon.
Is this the bursar's office?

-Who are you?
-Holmes and, er... Watson.

But I thought you were dead.

The falls at Reichenbach, yes.
I came back in the sequel.

Oh!

My, is that quincunx
your design?

Yes, it is.

You like it?

It's magnificent.
Sir, you're a genius.

Yes, I am.

You're just in time for tea.

We'll meet you by the basket,
my dear.

She's a genius, too.

We haven't put a foot outside
since 1939.

We didn't like
the look of things out there.

So we bought
every kind of vegetable seed.

-Shut down the school.
-Well, we didn't have any pupils anyway.

And ever since,
we've been very happy.

Except for one thing.

Nobody's ever seen our work.

So we don't know if it's any good.

But you did recognise
a quincunx when you saw one.

Would... Would you
criticise our garden?

-We'd be honoured.
-Oh!

This was Mrs Bagg's design.

We had a little dog once.

And this we call
our bird of paradise.

Mr Playfair.

-Who are you?
-We're friends... of Blevins.

-No, you're not.
-We've come to take you for a ride.

You have a pistol
in your pocket. Keep it there.

-Run for the hall and keep going!

Cover me.

Ah!

Brutes!
Savages! Savages!

Murderer!

Don't burn!

Melt, damn you.

It's foggy and damp here in New York.

The temperature
in Central Park is 45 degrees.

Humidity, 84%.

Barometer, 29.93 and falling.

Winds out of the east
at a brisk 10 miles per hour

gusting up to 15.

-God.

Tonight's forecast calls for
rapidly dropping temperatures,

heavy fog and a chance
for some more light showers.

Thank God.

Some women do this every day.

I'm not dressed.

They never think
to watch the fire escape.

Where the hell have you been?

-What's the matter?
-Nothing is the matter

and don't look at me, please.

You don't look
any worse than usual.

Would you just go away?

I bring you these.

-They're lovely.
-I wish they were.

It's been some time
since anyone bought me flowers.

I'm afraid
they weren't exactly bought.

Um, new dress?

No. Do you like it?

Olive oil. Very chic.

I need a drink.
Do we have time?

Oh, yes, er...
Dinner's cold.

-Sorry I'm so late.
-Oh, no, it hasn't warmed up yet.

I'd have been here sooner,
but the clue was most complex.

I have worked out where we're
meeting him, though it wasn't easy.

Where is the bar?

It's in the oven.

Oh... I'm sorry.

I have to use the oven for storage
'cause it's such a small apartment.

Very sensible.

We're just going
to have a simple supper.

Plain home cooking.

-So I see.
-Go ahead and make fun of it.

That insecurity of yours.

I Know.

I like your house.

It's a mess.

It's nice. It's just like you.

You know, somehow
that just misses being flattery.

I haven't got a vase.

I think the beans are burning.

Oh, no.
That... That's soup.

-Well, are the drinks ready?
-After you.

Oh, here.

Thank you.

Well, here we are.

We're having wine with dinner.

Very civilised.

Ice on crystal.
Good sound, isn't it?

-Well, it's not crystal.
-Ah...

Your good health.

You know, I... I really should have
taken you out to dinner.

No. It's good for me to cook.

Well, when this case is over,
we'll have plenty of time

for going out to the theatre
and fashionable places,

and all that sort of thing.
I was thinking earlier...

and I thought that we really owed
ourselves a little... recreation.

Why don't we set a date right now?

Would you be free
tomorrow night?

Actually, those fashionable places
can be very tedious,

and I might embarrass you.

I don't think I would... fit in.

There's no denying that.

Of course, I have an awful lot
of costumes. I could change.

It's a foolish notion, even so.
No... No of fence.

Tomorrow?

Do you mean tomorrow night?

-Do you dance?
-Well, I haven't in years. Do you?

I don't know. I can't remember.

Let's find out.

No, let's not.
I'd really rather not.

-Come on.
-I'd only stumble.

Nobody's watching.

Come on. Don't be scared.

-You're doing fine.
-Well, I'm a natural athlete.

Oh, I beg your pardon...

Maybe we both need
a little more practice.

Just think of all the dancing
we can do once this is over.

-Do you play checkers?
-I'm a whiz.

There's so many things
you need two people for.

I'll teach you billiards, too.

We'll sip our port and read aloud.

I read my cases beautifully.

I'm here. I'm right beside you.

Oh, please. Can you hear me?

Dear God.

You can't do this to me.

Holmes!
Oh, my Holmes, you can't die!

You're some doctor.

Get off my chest.
I'm having trouble breathing.

Oh! Oh, I'm s...
You're alive!

-You called me Holmes.
-I did?

You don't look so good.

I'll get my bag.

I tell you, Watson,
I expected better of him.

It is beneath the Moriarty
I've always known.

-You ought to be in bed.
-Don't worry, Watson. Tip-top shape.

No, no, no.
Let me look at you.

No time for that.
We've got to mobilise.

-We're staying right here.
-It isn't safe here.

But at our rendezvous at midnight,
I'll be ready.

Someone's going to die tonight.
It might be me.

Ah, Watson, no-one's as black
as he or half as quick.

He is perfection.

You can tell a lot about a man
by his enemies.

I'm proud he wants me dead.

Hold still.

We've got so much to do.

-You haven't had your supper yet.
-Here.

Hershey Kisses.

Out the back.

Wilbur. Wilbur!

Holmes, you startled me.

I've solved it all.
Here is where he will be.

-What's that you got?
-It was a white plume once.

We're meeting Moriarty at midnight.
Will you wear it?

I've been waiting all my life.

What's up?

I'm helping one poor nut escape
if it's the last damn thing I do.

I want you.

Is there romance,
excitement, danger?

All in glorious Technicolor.

Your house is
right around the corner.

They'll be watching.

Back.

-Daisy!
-Oh, it's you.

Guess what? I'm leaving Blevins.

I'm glad to hear it. I married him for love
and I don't love him anymore.

We're meeting Moriarty.

Hot dog!

You miserable...

Maud!

Why, Mr Holmes.

What's the matter?

There are no more westerns.

Dear friends,

will those of you who know what this
is all about please raise your hands.

I think... if God is dead,

he laughed himself to death.

Because, you see,
we live in Eden.

Genesis has got it all wrong.
We've never left the garden.

Look about you.

This is paradise.

It's hard to find, I grant you,
but it is here.

Under our feet. Beneath the surface.
All around us is everything we want.

The earth is shining
under the soot.

We're all fools.

Moriarty's made fools
of all of us.

But together,
you and I, tonight,

we'll bring him...

down.

Nobody came.

I don't much blame them.

It's this way, I think.

Damned clever, this last clue.

It was a shopping bag
that took us to a garden.

Turn it backwards
and you'll see the sense.

Suppose we took
the shopping bag.

What kind of garden
would we take it to?

Wow!

We're here.

What happens now?

We'll wait.

Well, I'm not afraid
if you're not.

It's starting.

He's out there somewhere.

Crouching, steady, cold.
He never sweats, you know.

Is pride a sin, Holmes?
Because I'm proud of you.

Control yourself.

Cross your fingers.

That makes nine.

I love you.

This week only,
loin of pork, 79 cents per pound.

Delicious, tender sirloin steaks,
89 cents a pound.

Lean boiled ham,
99 cents a pound.

Fresh frying chickens,

29 cents a pound.

Fresh ground beef,
49 cents a pound.

Delicious, tender
sirloin steaks

at 89 cents per pound.

Fresh frying chickens,

29 cents a pound.

Fresh frozen California
hothouse garden peas,

Three packages for 69 cents.

Odd.

Distinctly odd. No sign of him.

This way.

Juicy Florida Oranges,
10 for 69 cents.

You're not worth the
powder to blow you to hell.

I know, dear.

I want the disposable one,
in the throwaway thing.

To err is human.

Not in my book, pea head.

Get some instant dogfood.

Yes, dear.

It's for you, you mutt.

How's your cold?

You was dead right
about my sheep dog.

Got pellagra.

She don't serve no
meat to either of us.

Justin, was that Moriarty?

God.

Moriarty?

I'm here.

Come on, man.
Show yourself.

I'm patient. I can wait.

Are you Doctor Krauss?

I know the man, Lieutenant.
I'll go first.

Let's get 'em, boys!
Y'all follow me.

He isn't here.

I've misread the clue.

But, if twenty grand
was a number, then...

then the clue might be...
Think!

The number on the door at Dr Bagg's.
What was it?

-Sixty-seven.
-Right, but sixty-seven what?

What else was twenty grand?

A horse. A racehorse!

Watson, you're a genius.

Well, add it up. Er...

A horse, a school,
and sixty-seven.

It's a riding school
at 67th Street!

God, there is one.
Just off Central Park.

And that's where we'll find him.

It's all done now.

You are a detective.

Here we go.

Draw clubs!

Draw rubber hoses!

Draw nets!

Is there a doctor in the house?

Just call me Shane!

Watson, they came.

I hope the loonies win.

Okay, boys.

Round 'em up and book 'em.

A diversion.
Think of a diversion.

Prime ribs of beef,

10 cents a pound.

The chance of a lifetime,
tonight only...

Prime ribs, 10 cents a pound.

I can't let that go by.

My wife'd kill me.

Um...

Caviar, six jars for 29.

Hams, 50 cents apiece.

Canned goods,
10 cents for twelve.

All canned goods,
a dime a dozen.

Tonight only, two pounds of butter,
free, with every loaf of bread.

Two pounds of butter, free,
with every loaf of bread.

Buy one, take two.
Buy two, take four.

We're almost there.

I'm ready.

-Do you really mean to walk with me?
- I do.

We may have to walk near dangers,
close to awful things.

I know that.

Sometimes there
are villains so big,

they blot the sun out
for miles around.

I may not always win.

Does justice ever lose?

It does, from time to time.

We'll meet him here.

Get down.

Somewhere...

out there in the dark, he waits.

I'm not afraid,

because you're with me.

And we'll always be together?

All our lives.

I can't remember how
I lived before you came.

Holmes, I love you.

Listen.

What?

It's him.

It's Moriarty.

There's nothing.

Now.

He's coming.

On horseback,
riding like a king.

I can't hear.

Not on my knees.

There's nothing.

There's nothing!

On your feet, by me.

A sound, please.
Just a little sound.

Stand up.

Holmes, he's not there.

There isn't any
Moriarty, it's just...

You hear it?

They're nearer.

Nearer.

Now, there.
Do you see him now?

Not yet.

Yes.

I see him.

He's everything you said he was.

He makes you proud.

He does.

-Stand closer to me.
-Hold my hand.

And now we're together.

Yes.

Let it be said he found
us very close together...

in the light.