Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:00,160 --> 00:00:04,920
'Strong language from the outset.'
2
00:00:18,760 --> 00:00:22,960
So – stop all the clocks,
Toni and Tony are getting remarried!
3
00:00:23,240 --> 00:00:28,360
Sure, we made mistakes first time,
but now we've got the chance...
4
00:00:28,520 --> 00:00:30,200
to make them all over again!
5
00:00:31,480 --> 00:00:35,360
Already with the jokes. At least
one of us is fucking serious.
6
00:00:37,880 --> 00:00:39,240
So long, Toni.
7
00:00:40,520 --> 00:00:41,600
You did, didn't you?
8
00:00:41,680 --> 00:00:44,600
Oh, yeah. And you did. Obviously.
9
00:00:44,680 --> 00:00:46,560
Ooh, yeah. Spicy!
10
00:00:46,640 --> 00:00:49,680
< Clinical, more like. What's that?
11
00:00:49,760 --> 00:00:51,400
A bit of crack.
12
00:00:51,480 --> 00:00:54,120
Crack? Crack, Super Hans?
13
00:00:54,200 --> 00:00:58,200
Relax, it's not Blue Peter.
Just a nice relaxing smoke of crack.
14
00:00:58,280 --> 00:01:01,720
Oh, my fucking life. It isn't...
15
00:01:01,800 --> 00:01:04,440
It bloody is! Gog!
16
00:01:05,320 --> 00:01:06,280
Gog?
17
00:01:06,360 --> 00:01:10,320
Gog. At school, you'd run up
and sneeze in his face.
18
00:01:12,640 --> 00:01:13,960
Gog! >
19
00:01:14,320 --> 00:01:16,240
Jeremy... What are you doing here?
20
00:01:16,440 --> 00:01:20,000
Wouldn't you like to know, you big
prick!
So what are you doing?
21
00:01:20,080 --> 00:01:23,920
Just running the business –
hiring, firing and perspiring!
22
00:01:24,040 --> 00:01:29,520
Business? Look at you, with your
wine and your
jacket, just like a real person!
23
00:01:30,040 --> 00:01:34,320
Remember when we made you wank off
Perchy's dog for a fiver? What are
you doing, really?
24
00:01:34,400 --> 00:01:36,960
Business. Going public in April.
25
00:01:37,040 --> 00:01:40,400
User names. And overseeing the edit
on my first short –
26
00:01:40,480 --> 00:01:43,040
Honda are very interested.
27
00:01:43,480 --> 00:01:46,440
What, so you're actually successful?
28
00:01:46,560 --> 00:01:47,280
Looks like it.
29
00:01:48,400 --> 00:01:52,840
Been looking for music for our
soundtrack that doesn't suck arse.
30
00:01:52,920 --> 00:01:56,680
But I'm... music! I make music!
31
00:01:57,520 --> 00:01:59,800
Maybe we should meet up,
have a chat.
32
00:01:59,880 --> 00:02:02,760
Of course. Look, here's Super Hans.
33
00:02:02,960 --> 00:02:04,680
We can do the music, can't we? >
34
00:02:05,160 --> 00:02:07,320
That crack is really moreish!
35
00:02:10,200 --> 00:02:13,800
'Saturday shift! I thought we had
people in Ireland to do this for us.'
36
00:02:14,080 --> 00:02:15,880
'Lovely trustworthy voices.'
37
00:02:16,000 --> 00:02:17,720
If I can call at a more convenient...
38
00:02:18,280 --> 00:02:19,600
OK, bye.
39
00:02:21,280 --> 00:02:24,440
'Hm, Sophie,
with her lovely soft face.'
40
00:02:24,760 --> 00:02:28,040
'Jeff! Can't believe they're
doing the Stockport contract!'
41
00:02:28,720 --> 00:02:33,200
'She'll go round to his place,
and I'm stuck with the new guy.'
42
00:02:33,600 --> 00:02:35,240
See you later, gays!
43
00:02:35,320 --> 00:02:36,080
What?!
44
00:02:36,160 --> 00:02:40,960
See you later, guys. Soph, see you
at my place. 33 Ringfield Road.
45
00:02:41,120 --> 00:02:42,360
You bring the vino.
46
00:02:43,880 --> 00:02:45,160
I've got the massage oil!
47
00:02:46,080 --> 00:02:50,840
'He's trying to make me obsess
about massage oil. And it's worked.'
48
00:02:51,920 --> 00:02:55,000
'Break with the newbie
will be a pain fest, trying to chat.'
49
00:02:57,960 --> 00:02:59,440
'I'll say I'm upset
and go and sit on the loo and
never explain.'
50
00:03:01,440 --> 00:03:06,040
'He's taunting me! I should've made
him a cup of tea when I had one.'
51
00:03:06,320 --> 00:03:09,720
'Hurrah! It was a joke! Hilarious!'
52
00:03:11,960 --> 00:03:16,840
Sure you don't need a loan? For some
therapy to help you shpeak pwoperly.
53
00:03:17,160 --> 00:03:19,000
Huh? OK, bye.
54
00:03:20,920 --> 00:03:22,520
He'd already hung up.
55
00:03:22,720 --> 00:03:24,280
Oh! Right!
56
00:03:24,560 --> 00:03:27,000
I'm so bored
I could eat a fucking stapler!
57
00:03:28,400 --> 00:03:32,200
'This is crazy.
I should be working... but I'm not!'
58
00:03:32,600 --> 00:03:33,920
I see you!
59
00:03:34,080 --> 00:03:36,120
I'm Barnes Wallis, you're the Ruhr!
60
00:03:36,320 --> 00:03:42,480
'I'm the Ruhr! And no-one's actually
said the word
"Dambusters"! I'm having fun!'
61
00:03:42,560 --> 00:03:44,400
'And I'm not thinking about Sophie!'
62
00:03:45,560 --> 00:03:46,520
Go on.
63
00:03:46,600 --> 00:03:47,440
I can't!
64
00:03:47,520 --> 00:03:48,800
Just imagine it's Ian's cock.
65
00:03:53,960 --> 00:03:59,840
'I've got a friend!
Maybe there's nothing wrong with me
and I'm just a normal person!'
66
00:04:05,440 --> 00:04:07,600
'Can't believe I'm pitching to Gog.'
67
00:04:07,680 --> 00:04:10,400
'I hope Gog doesn't know it was me
who shat in his mum's airing
cupboard.'
68
00:04:11,200 --> 00:04:13,760
'Please like my music, you lanky
wanker.'
69
00:04:14,320 --> 00:04:17,600
'Please let me do the music
for your Honda film.'
70
00:04:20,920 --> 00:04:22,600
MUSIC OFF
71
00:04:23,240 --> 00:04:24,520
Want another beer?
72
00:04:25,160 --> 00:04:26,080
Sure.
73
00:04:26,160 --> 00:04:27,400
Follow me.
74
00:04:27,480 --> 00:04:29,280
'He hates it. He bloody hates it.'
75
00:04:29,560 --> 00:04:35,800
These are my guys. They had to pull
a latey, so I invited them round.
76
00:04:36,200 --> 00:04:39,240
This way I get to keep
an eye on them, which is cool!
77
00:04:39,320 --> 00:04:41,560
Very cool. About the track...
78
00:04:41,640 --> 00:04:46,320
You know what I fancy? A kebab.
Will you go and get me a kebab?
79
00:04:47,920 --> 00:04:48,760
You want me to...
80
00:04:48,880 --> 00:04:50,560
I want a kebab.
81
00:04:52,120 --> 00:04:53,640
What, really?
82
00:04:53,720 --> 00:04:56,480
No! Why, were you gonna get me one?!
83
00:04:56,560 --> 00:04:58,040
LAUGHTER
84
00:04:57,440 --> 00:04:58,160
No!
85
00:04:58,280 --> 00:05:00,680
I can't beleive you were
gonna get me a kebab!
86
00:05:00,760 --> 00:05:01,760
I wasn't!
87
00:05:01,840 --> 00:05:03,160
Well, I want one now.
88
00:05:04,280 --> 00:05:05,200
Right...
89
00:05:06,640 --> 00:05:07,920
Really?
90
00:05:08,040 --> 00:05:10,600
No! I'm shitting you, Jez!
91
00:05:10,680 --> 00:05:11,640
Jesus!
92
00:05:11,720 --> 00:05:15,160
So, the soundtrack – can I do it?
93
00:05:15,400 --> 00:05:20,200
I'm talking to a number of people.
But If I do pick you, what I want is
something classic.
94
00:05:20,520 --> 00:05:22,080
Remember the theme tune from Jaws?
95
00:05:22,960 --> 00:05:25,920
Well, I don't want that, I want
something completely different,
96
00:05:26,000 --> 00:05:30,200
something to make people go "Yeah."
97
00:05:32,480 --> 00:05:33,640
Right.
98
00:05:34,040 --> 00:05:37,920
'What shall I write? I can't just
put "Not Jaws". Do pretend writing.'
99
00:05:41,040 --> 00:05:42,520
Are you pretending to write?
100
00:05:43,040 --> 00:05:44,800
No...
101
00:05:47,200 --> 00:05:50,960
It's...
Really, I honestly didn't see anyone.
102
00:05:51,080 --> 00:05:53,120
'Shit! What if they bring in
Forensics?!'
103
00:05:54,120 --> 00:05:58,960
Oh, I shouldn't have done that.
My prints will be all over it.
104
00:05:59,080 --> 00:06:04,400
Yeah. It's embarrassing, and since
Ian Krauss is of German extraction,
105
00:06:04,480 --> 00:06:06,720
it has to be treated as a racial
incident.
106
00:06:07,240 --> 00:06:09,960
Ian's a...a racial incident?
107
00:06:10,360 --> 00:06:11,920
< But... why?
108
00:06:12,000 --> 00:06:14,600
Come on Mark! Germans.
109
00:06:15,160 --> 00:06:16,160
< Sausages.
110
00:06:17,200 --> 00:06:18,840
Do I have to spell it out?
111
00:06:24,320 --> 00:06:25,920
Of course. Horrible.
112
00:06:27,680 --> 00:06:33,400
They're saying it's racial? Next you
won't be able to get a black coffee!
113
00:06:33,600 --> 00:06:38,520
Exactly! And they'll have a bloody
EU banana-straightening machine!
114
00:06:39,160 --> 00:06:42,240
There's already a banana-
straightening machine – woman.
115
00:06:43,560 --> 00:06:49,600
You take that Sophie – going over to
Geoff's right in your face. Bitch.
116
00:06:49,920 --> 00:06:51,000
Yeah!
117
00:06:51,280 --> 00:06:54,000
'Go on, say it. I'm gonna say it!'
118
00:06:54,200 --> 00:06:57,000
Yeah, I suppose she is a... bitch.
119
00:06:57,080 --> 00:06:59,840
Too right.
Ask Clarkson – Clarkson knows.
120
00:07:00,760 --> 00:07:01,920
'Good old Clarkson!'
121
00:07:02,080 --> 00:07:07,160
People like fast cars, big boobies,
and they don't want the euro.
122
00:07:09,000 --> 00:07:10,960
I'm not that hungry. Want anything?
123
00:07:10,960 --> 00:07:14,000
Don't fancy a Chinky.
Got a pizza menu?
124
00:07:14,080 --> 00:07:14,920
About a million!
125
00:07:18,160 --> 00:07:20,600
I'd like to see 'em run like that
carrying real Sten guns.
126
00:07:20,680 --> 00:07:22,200
D'you know about... >
127
00:07:22,280 --> 00:07:26,680
Just re-enactments. We do WW2 stuff.
128
00:07:26,760 --> 00:07:29,560
Can be an 'ell of a laugh,
just guys together.
129
00:07:29,640 --> 00:07:30,920
Re-enactments?
130
00:07:31,000 --> 00:07:34,840
'Probably sound more fun
than they are. Like Laser Quest.'
131
00:07:35,400 --> 00:07:36,960
Another beergee?
132
00:07:37,040 --> 00:07:38,160
Lock and load!
133
00:07:40,880 --> 00:07:45,480
'God, what is he taking? Better not
disturb him – he might attack me and
be sick.'
134
00:07:46,240 --> 00:07:47,520
< Jeremy?
135
00:07:49,720 --> 00:07:50,840
What?
136
00:07:50,920 --> 00:07:51,800
What's Hans doing?
137
00:07:52,840 --> 00:07:54,280
He's honking on his crack pipe.
138
00:07:54,360 --> 00:07:57,120
Crack?! I've got company!
139
00:07:57,240 --> 00:08:02,520
Oh, relax! "I'm Mark,
I'm in the '80s, I'm dying of heroin
in a puddle in an advert!"
140
00:08:03,000 --> 00:08:09,040
Drugs are fine, Mark – everyone
agrees now. It's fine, so shut up.
141
00:08:09,120 --> 00:08:11,240
MOBILE BEEPS
142
00:08:11,320 --> 00:08:12,880
< I don't want to...
143
00:08:12,960 --> 00:08:14,600
A-ha-ha-hah!
144
00:08:14,680 --> 00:08:15,440
What?
145
00:08:15,520 --> 00:08:16,920
I got the commission!
146
00:08:17,000 --> 00:08:18,360
Congratulations...
147
00:08:18,440 --> 00:08:20,920
Shove it up your arse! Up your arse!
148
00:08:21,000 --> 00:08:25,640
I've got a commission! It's big
and it's going up your arse!
149
00:08:25,720 --> 00:08:27,640
Jez, I'm pleased for you!
150
00:08:27,720 --> 00:08:32,480
Sure you areSo pleased that I've
gone to the finish line on my bike
151
00:08:32,560 --> 00:08:36,800
while you're still jogging along
in the rat race.
152
00:08:36,880 --> 00:08:38,240
Exactly. I think it's great.
153
00:08:38,360 --> 00:08:42,240
So you won't mind if I take you out
for a very expensive meal.
154
00:08:42,920 --> 00:08:44,360
I'm not that hungry.
155
00:08:44,440 --> 00:08:45,960
Bollocks. We're going.
156
00:08:48,000 --> 00:08:52,480
Why did you have to bring Daryl?
He's a bit... boring.
157
00:08:52,880 --> 00:08:56,600
Boring? What, cos he doesn't
go around with... a haircut
158
00:08:56,680 --> 00:09:01,200
and an iPod and... piercings
and a... strap-on?
159
00:09:01,280 --> 00:09:02,320
Strap-on?
160
00:09:02,400 --> 00:09:03,920
It's an example.
161
00:09:05,280 --> 00:09:10,240
Sorry, excuse me, I ordered three
pilau rice and three peshwari naans.
162
00:09:10,360 --> 00:09:14,480
It's all right, I changed the order.
There's always rice left.
163
00:09:14,560 --> 00:09:20,320
It's not all right. Three pilau rice
and four peshwari naans, please.
164
00:09:21,520 --> 00:09:25,360
I've shared enough rice with you.
I'm in the big league now.
165
00:09:25,440 --> 00:09:28,880
Four naan, Jeremy? That's insane.
166
00:09:28,960 --> 00:09:32,440
So, what am I going to pay you to do
in my band?
167
00:09:32,600 --> 00:09:36,000
That's very kind of you, but
you don't wanna overstretch yourself.
168
00:09:36,120 --> 00:09:40,560
Bollocks. I'm a very generous guy.
Daryl's bringing his cor anglais –
169
00:09:41,520 --> 00:09:43,080
what are you going to do?
170
00:09:44,600 --> 00:09:46,960
Well, we did once talk about me doing
171
00:09:47,040 --> 00:09:50,000
a Jean-Michel Jarre thing
on the keyboards.
172
00:09:50,080 --> 00:09:55,760
Mm-hm. Or I was sort of hoping you'd
say you want to be the manager.
173
00:09:56,480 --> 00:10:00,960
You could order me around, which
you'd enjoy, but I'd be your boss.
174
00:10:01,040 --> 00:10:03,720
Could be kind of confusing.
In a good way.
175
00:10:03,800 --> 00:10:08,240
Three more beers
for the Three Musketeers, eh? Ooh!
176
00:10:08,320 --> 00:10:10,520
Aaaaah!
177
00:10:10,600 --> 00:10:12,640
Aah...
178
00:10:12,720 --> 00:10:16,520
'Ey, check this out.
Sexy girl walks past, it's like...
179
00:10:19,880 --> 00:10:23,720
That's not funny, Daryl.
Repeat – not funny!
180
00:10:23,840 --> 00:10:28,600
Oh, come on, lads, let's lose
the cone – I'm a somebody now.
There's no need for a cone.
181
00:10:28,760 --> 00:10:30,720
Ooh!
182
00:10:30,800 --> 00:10:35,880
Too good for the cone, are we? We're
having a laugh, a bloody good laugh!
183
00:10:36,720 --> 00:10:40,000
Bet we're having a much better time
than Sophie is right now.
184
00:10:40,080 --> 00:10:42,840
'Ey, course we are, mate,
course we are!
185
00:10:42,920 --> 00:10:46,720
I'll tell you
where we should go now.
186
00:10:49,600 --> 00:10:51,000
Fuck him up!
187
00:10:51,080 --> 00:10:54,240
Maybe we should check the doorbell's
working nice and loud, yeah!
188
00:10:54,320 --> 00:10:58,440
Or... or we could make
a special delivery for Geoff Heaney.
189
00:11:00,960 --> 00:11:02,240
Daryl, don't!
190
00:11:03,320 --> 00:11:04,720
Oh, fuck!
191
00:11:05,760 --> 00:11:07,040
Oh, piss.
192
00:11:09,360 --> 00:11:10,680
Oh, crumbs.
193
00:11:21,400 --> 00:11:26,720
'What am I gonna tell Gog? What
happened to the time? We had loads!'
194
00:11:27,160 --> 00:11:30,040
What we need to do
is create a powerful sense of dread.
195
00:11:35,640 --> 00:11:37,840
See,
the longer the note, the more dread.
196
00:11:38,320 --> 00:11:41,720
'God that's terrible – worse
than Daryl's bloody cor anglais.'
197
00:11:41,800 --> 00:11:47,760
'I wish they were all robots. I wish
I was. I could punch through a wall'
198
00:11:48,120 --> 00:11:51,840
Yeah, OK. Ready?
One, two, three, let's go!
199
00:11:56,000 --> 00:11:59,200
They're coming after you
200
00:11:59,680 --> 00:12:01,960
they're gonna get you
201
00:12:05,680 --> 00:12:11,200
Look, no, all right?
That's... not shit, but just... no.
202
00:12:12,120 --> 00:12:14,880
Hans,
you realise we've only got 39
minutes left! >
203
00:12:15,560 --> 00:12:18,320
So now we're working it's not
okay for me to smoke my crack?
204
00:12:18,640 --> 00:12:20,520
Yes, exactly.
205
00:12:20,640 --> 00:12:24,000
So next you're gonna boot me out for
not wearing a jacket and tie?
206
00:12:24,080 --> 00:12:25,200
Jez, is there anything I can...
207
00:12:25,280 --> 00:12:29,920
It's under control, okay Mark.
Please get back behind the
glass.
208
00:12:30,000 --> 00:12:31,480
But as your manager...
209
00:12:31,560 --> 00:12:36,120
Just get behind the glass. There is
a very clear if invisible line –
210
00:12:36,200 --> 00:12:40,640
here be beauty,
there be... pie charts. OK?
211
00:12:41,640 --> 00:12:44,680
I've been here since eight –
I'm going for a coffee.
212
00:12:44,760 --> 00:12:47,440
If you're leaving now, don't fucking
dream of coming back!
213
00:12:52,120 --> 00:12:53,920
Oh, God!
214
00:12:54,800 --> 00:12:58,440
Obviously, a band isn't an army,
but you need some organisation.
215
00:12:58,640 --> 00:13:00,840
Exactly my feeling, exactly.
216
00:13:01,320 --> 00:13:05,640
Democracy's all very well, but
it's weak and decadent. You need a
strong leader.
217
00:13:06,040 --> 00:13:07,240
Er...
218
00:13:07,320 --> 00:13:08,960
I'm in character.
219
00:13:09,040 --> 00:13:14,160
Oh! Er, yes, yes, right. Yes.
The Fatherland needs the Fuhrer.
220
00:13:14,240 --> 00:13:16,840
'Oh, God,
I'm even boring when I'm a Nazi.'
221
00:13:16,920 --> 00:13:22,000
Jesus! Classic rubbernecker.
No interest in military history.
222
00:13:22,080 --> 00:13:24,640
Might as well be checking out
fucking seed drills.
223
00:13:25,760 --> 00:13:27,600
Still, nice to get out of the city.
224
00:13:27,680 --> 00:13:29,360
Yeah, nice to get away from it all –
225
00:13:29,440 --> 00:13:31,880
the work, the smog, the graffiti.
226
00:13:31,960 --> 00:13:34,360
The traffic, the noise, the hassle.
227
00:13:34,440 --> 00:13:38,240
Car alarms, cashpoints,
blacks, Pakis, Jews...
228
00:13:38,320 --> 00:13:44,200
Oh, er, yeah, yeah. That's what
we all want, a racially pure nation.
229
00:13:44,280 --> 00:13:47,320
All we're saying
is England for the English,
right?.
230
00:13:47,760 --> 00:13:50,760
You mean... Germany for the Germans?
231
00:13:50,840 --> 00:13:53,880
You mean... This is... Are we...?
232
00:13:53,960 --> 00:13:57,000
Rights for whites. Not much to ask!
233
00:13:57,440 --> 00:14:00,000
Is this... real now?
234
00:14:00,080 --> 00:14:04,920
We're on the same wavelength.
Everyone thinks it, but we say it.
235
00:14:05,160 --> 00:14:10,240
'Oh, shit. Oh, bollocks. Of course,
I can't make a nice, normal friend.'
236
00:14:10,320 --> 00:14:12,280
'That would be far too simple'
237
00:14:12,360 --> 00:14:13,680
Heil Hitler!
238
00:14:13,760 --> 00:14:15,520
Er, heil.
239
00:14:15,600 --> 00:14:17,320
You're not supposed to do that!
240
00:14:18,160 --> 00:14:20,000
You know
you're not supposed to do that!
241
00:14:23,520 --> 00:14:28,680
I was really pleased with the track,
once we got that weird hiss off.
242
00:14:28,760 --> 00:14:32,800
You'll never get it off entirely,
but...
243
00:14:33,480 --> 00:14:34,520
Uh-huh.
244
00:14:34,520 --> 00:14:38,160
'I've got to cut the link.
Daryl is definitely beyond.'
245
00:14:38,360 --> 00:14:41,880
The rest of the money
should be here soon. Just as well!
246
00:14:42,640 --> 00:14:43,680
Uh-huh.
247
00:14:43,920 --> 00:14:49,560
'Or maybe I'm overreacting. Maybe
everyone does it, it's cool and Ali G
248
00:14:49,640 --> 00:14:51,160
and I'm just an old
stick-in-the-mud.'
249
00:14:53,160 --> 00:14:55,560
Sorry if I was a bit
of a cockmuncher down the studio.
250
00:14:56,240 --> 00:14:59,400
Fine. It's totally fine, mate.
Honestly.
251
00:15:00,680 --> 00:15:03,080
Listen, I might pop...
252
00:15:03,680 --> 00:15:07,440
just pop down the, er, Chinky.
Want anything?
253
00:15:07,520 --> 00:15:11,320
From... Er... No, I'm all right.
254
00:15:11,400 --> 00:15:15,080
What about from the... Paki shop?
Anything from there?
255
00:15:15,600 --> 00:15:16,680
"The Paki shop"?
256
00:15:17,160 --> 00:15:20,760
I don't normally go there.
They've always got that wog box on.
257
00:15:20,840 --> 00:15:22,920
What the hell are you talking about?
258
00:15:23,000 --> 00:15:26,040
Yeah. That's not on, is it?
259
00:15:26,120 --> 00:15:29,720
What I said –
it's not all right, is it?
260
00:15:30,240 --> 00:15:31,920
Well,... no.
261
00:15:32,040 --> 00:15:37,480
And obviously you don't think
there's a... global Jewish conspiracy
262
00:15:37,560 --> 00:15:39,040
< controlling everything?
263
00:15:39,760 --> 00:15:42,160
What, you mean... am I a racist?
264
00:15:42,240 --> 00:15:48,720
Yeah. If you think that and say those
things, you're a racist, aren't you?
265
00:15:48,800 --> 00:15:50,320
Well... yeah.
266
00:15:50,520 --> 00:15:54,600
As it turns out,...
Daryl is a racist.
267
00:15:55,680 --> 00:15:57,280
You're sure he's a proper...
268
00:15:58,320 --> 00:16:01,680
It wasn't just racist... horseplay?
269
00:16:01,760 --> 00:16:07,080
No. I was in the tent with him
for ages, we talked for a long time,
270
00:16:07,160 --> 00:16:12,400
and it was mostly on... racial
classifications – head measurements.
271
00:16:12,960 --> 00:16:14,000
Wow.
272
00:16:14,600 --> 00:16:19,440
I feel terrible. Do you think
I should... confront him?
273
00:16:19,520 --> 00:16:21,120
You mean you didn't confront him?
274
00:16:21,200 --> 00:16:24,040
Yeah. No, naturally I confronted him,
275
00:16:24,120 --> 00:16:29,360
but maybe I should...
confront him... again. More.
276
00:16:29,440 --> 00:16:31,520
DOORBELL
277
00:16:34,480 --> 00:16:35,920
Tell him I'm not here!
278
00:16:36,000 --> 00:16:36,880
< Why?
279
00:16:36,960 --> 00:16:38,920
Because I didn't confront him,
all right?
280
00:16:42,520 --> 00:16:43,440
Oh, hi, Daryl.
281
00:16:43,520 --> 00:16:44,560
Is Mark around?
282
00:16:44,640 --> 00:16:47,920
No, he's gone out.
To get a Thai curry.
283
00:16:48,560 --> 00:16:52,200
'Because that's what we eat nowadays
while you're eating racist carrots.'
284
00:16:57,000 --> 00:16:59,320
Hope Geoff's neighbour
got the cheque for the window.
285
00:17:01,560 --> 00:17:04,960
I said "Let's see if they're in,
throw some stones at the window."
286
00:17:05,040 --> 00:17:08,240
Daryl thought I said "a stone,"
and the stone he picked was a brick.
287
00:17:09,760 --> 00:17:11,280
You know the rest.
288
00:17:11,640 --> 00:17:12,960
Sorry I'm late, everyone.
289
00:17:14,320 --> 00:17:16,080
Hey, Mark, my man!
290
00:17:15,920 --> 00:17:17,160
Hi...
291
00:17:17,720 --> 00:17:20,640
Is your mobile broke?
I've not been able to get you.
292
00:17:20,840 --> 00:17:24,160
Hey, they do chicken wings!
I love them!
293
00:17:24,240 --> 00:17:26,640
So, Alan,
why have you got us all down here?
294
00:17:27,200 --> 00:17:29,840
I noticed
a bit of static in the office.
295
00:17:30,400 --> 00:17:33,000
Thought we should come here
for a bonding sesh.
296
00:17:33,080 --> 00:17:34,400
Oh, right. Great.
297
00:17:35,440 --> 00:17:36,560
< So...
298
00:17:39,720 --> 00:17:41,680
anyone see the game last night?
299
00:17:42,320 --> 00:17:42,920
Er, no.
300
00:17:43,000 --> 00:17:48,080
I did. Thierry Henry made Savage
look like a right carthorse!
301
00:17:49,040 --> 00:17:53,280
When are people finally gonna admit
that you lot are better at sports?
302
00:17:53,360 --> 00:17:56,560
'No, not here. This can't happen!'
303
00:17:56,880 --> 00:17:57,880
"You lot"?
304
00:17:58,760 --> 00:18:02,360
He means guys who are French.
He thinks you're French!
305
00:18:02,480 --> 00:18:07,320
I keep telling you, he's not French!
Come on, let's get you a drink.
306
00:18:11,400 --> 00:18:15,280
Listen, mate, while
we've got a minute – the thing is...
307
00:18:15,760 --> 00:18:18,280
I'm busy, you're busy...
308
00:18:18,400 --> 00:18:22,400
maybe we should stop
seeing each other... so much.
309
00:18:22,640 --> 00:18:24,760
What, stop being mates?
310
00:18:24,840 --> 00:18:30,800
Yeah, y'know,
you say potato, I say tomato –
let's call the whole thing off.
311
00:18:31,400 --> 00:18:32,600
But why?
312
00:18:32,680 --> 00:18:35,600
Well, it's the 21st century, no-one
actually likes each other any more.
313
00:18:38,000 --> 00:18:40,800
But I do like you!
You're fucking great!
314
00:18:40,880 --> 00:18:45,880
Yeah, well, I'm sorry, but... I don't
have time. OK? There's no time.
315
00:18:46,600 --> 00:18:49,720
Let's forget anything ever happened.
316
00:18:50,120 --> 00:18:55,120
'It's OK, he doesn't have feelings.
Racists don't – they're subhuman.'
317
00:18:57,440 --> 00:19:01,160
'Yes, little Tetraminos, you fit
neatly together and dissolve –
318
00:19:01,240 --> 00:19:04,240
because everything is simple in
Tetris world'
319
00:19:04,560 --> 00:19:09,680
Er, Mark? I've got a
massive, massive favour to ask you.
320
00:19:09,760 --> 00:19:10,720
Uh-huh?
321
00:19:10,960 --> 00:19:13,280
Yeah. It's, um...
322
00:19:13,600 --> 00:19:17,960
The thing is, Gog's got
some reservations about the track.
323
00:19:18,040 --> 00:19:20,600
He's holding out on the four grand
until we get it right.
324
00:19:20,920 --> 00:19:22,040
Uh-huh...
325
00:19:22,160 --> 00:19:26,440
The thing is, I've basically
been very, very foolish,
326
00:19:26,600 --> 00:19:30,880
and I've spent all of our advance
on drugs and shoes...
327
00:19:30,960 --> 00:19:34,960
and I need to borrow quite a lot
of money to go back into the studio.
328
00:19:36,480 --> 00:19:38,400
I mean, you are the manager...
329
00:19:39,560 --> 00:19:42,360
OK... How much?
330
00:19:42,480 --> 00:19:44,200
Brilliant! Now, the favour...
331
00:19:44,320 --> 00:19:45,760
That's not the favour?!
332
00:19:46,080 --> 00:19:50,160
Er... no.
Y'see, the thing is, Gog...
333
00:19:50,240 --> 00:19:55,360
he's really not very keen at all
on any of the track...
334
00:19:55,440 --> 00:19:59,200
except, as it turns out,
for the cor anglais.
335
00:19:59,600 --> 00:20:02,480
He wants much more cor anglais.
336
00:20:02,920 --> 00:20:06,120
No, Jeremy.
You know what Daryl's like.
337
00:20:06,520 --> 00:20:08,480
Sure. Yeah. Absolutely. Of course.
338
00:20:08,760 --> 00:20:12,600
But look at it another way –
we've all got our foibles.
339
00:20:13,720 --> 00:20:16,320
I, for example, hate mozzarella.
340
00:20:16,400 --> 00:20:17,840
It's not the same.
341
00:20:17,960 --> 00:20:23,800
It is, kind of. I mean... aren't we
living in a multicultural democracy,
342
00:20:23,880 --> 00:20:25,080
and isn't that the point –
343
00:20:25,680 --> 00:20:32,280
Jews and Muslims and racists
all living happily together,
doing and saying whatever they like?
344
00:20:33,960 --> 00:20:38,800
'Cor anglais, of course. Probably
plays it in the BNP jazz combo.'
345
00:20:39,240 --> 00:20:41,040
"Brilliant! Fantastic!"
346
00:20:41,600 --> 00:20:42,600
What did you think, Hans?
347
00:20:42,680 --> 00:20:44,520
Crack! Just gimme crack!
348
00:20:44,800 --> 00:20:48,080
Well I loved it. If you wanna print
one of those out, or whatever.
349
00:20:49,200 --> 00:20:50,800
Jeremy, don't just go!
350
00:20:50,960 --> 00:20:52,960
I'll suck for crack!
351
00:20:53,040 --> 00:20:55,800
Come on, let's get you some crack!
352
00:20:55,880 --> 00:20:57,840
Tell Daryl we're very grateful.
353
00:21:00,640 --> 00:21:04,400
Great to hear from you! You got over
whatever brain attack you had?
354
00:21:05,640 --> 00:21:08,360
'I'm safe. In my cubicle, I'm safe.'
355
00:21:08,680 --> 00:21:10,080
< Are we off for a pint, or what?
356
00:21:10,880 --> 00:21:13,760
"Er, Daryl, the truth is...
357
00:21:14,400 --> 00:21:19,120
I can't be associated with you
anymore, because... you're a racist."
358
00:21:19,440 --> 00:21:22,840
What? I thought
we were on the same wavelength –
359
00:21:23,200 --> 00:21:25,640
sausage, the euro, Clarkson.
360
00:21:26,240 --> 00:21:30,440
You can't hate people
because of their ethnic background! >
361
00:21:30,520 --> 00:21:33,480
Oh. Political correctness gone mad.
362
00:21:33,560 --> 00:21:37,240
"No! I hate
political correctness gone mad!"
363
00:21:38,560 --> 00:21:47,160
I don't wanna
teach the world to sing, >
364
00:21:42,040 --> 00:21:47,040
but... slavery? The Holocaust?
That's just... not on!
365
00:21:47,440 --> 00:21:50,160
"Whereas... 'I have a dream'...
366
00:21:50,240 --> 00:21:53,040
South Africa... Benetton... it's..."
367
00:21:53,120 --> 00:21:56,520
"You've gotta say... 'Fair enough.'
Yeah?"
368
00:21:57,520 --> 00:22:03,160
"Yeah. OK, no. Fair enough.
You've... talked me round."
369
00:22:03,880 --> 00:22:04,800
"I have?"
370
00:22:04,920 --> 00:22:07,760
"Fuck off! Thought police!"
371
00:22:09,000 --> 00:22:14,280
'There he goes, the first friend I've
made since Nick Bickford in '96.'
372
00:22:15,040 --> 00:22:17,840
'And Nick didn't really like me.'
373
00:22:19,400 --> 00:22:22,440
Do we have to do this?
Not gonna hurt him, are we?
374
00:22:22,520 --> 00:22:27,120
You want your money back? He refuses
to pay up or like the track.
375
00:22:27,240 --> 00:22:29,240
I told you you should've had a proper
contract!
376
00:22:29,320 --> 00:22:30,840
How are you feeling, Super Hans?
377
00:22:30,920 --> 00:22:33,120
Fine. You've kicked the crack?
378
00:22:33,480 --> 00:22:38,400
No, but I bang Valium up me arsehole
for the comedown.
379
00:22:41,280 --> 00:22:42,200
What's this?
380
00:22:42,280 --> 00:22:46,680
Cover. In case the cops turn up.
Just a bunch of mates playing
baseball.
381
00:22:48,080 --> 00:22:52,520
Oh! Jeremy. What, you've had
more thoughts about the track?
382
00:22:52,640 --> 00:22:53,920
Yeah, we have, actually.
383
00:22:54,000 --> 00:22:55,440
Great.
384
00:22:55,520 --> 00:22:58,400
We thought we'd smash your brains in
with a baseball bat.
385
00:22:58,480 --> 00:23:00,320
I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.
386
00:23:00,400 --> 00:23:03,880
See, we want our money, and
we're feeling a little bit clumsy...
387
00:23:05,320 --> 00:23:06,360
Whoops
388
00:23:07,080 --> 00:23:10,720
I've told you, it's out of my hands
now. Honda are hard to please.
389
00:23:10,800 --> 00:23:13,960
Oh, Honda, Honda, Honda. Fuck Honda.
390
00:23:14,040 --> 00:23:18,720
Nice packet of Crunchy Nut you got
here. Pretty expensive, as I recall.
391
00:23:20,880 --> 00:23:25,000
Not so rich with
a piece of wood in your face, hm?
392
00:23:25,080 --> 00:23:26,120
Oi, Jez.
393
00:23:28,320 --> 00:23:30,320
Look, he's got the message.
394
00:23:30,400 --> 00:23:31,640
You're gonna pay, aren't you?
395
00:23:31,760 --> 00:23:32,520
No.
396
00:23:32,600 --> 00:23:34,880
So we've got our answer. Let's go.
397
00:23:36,720 --> 00:23:38,240
Hit him with the fucking bat, Jez.
398
00:23:39,400 --> 00:23:41,320
You do it. Punch him with the glove.
399
00:23:41,440 --> 00:23:42,880
I can't even make a fist!
400
00:23:42,960 --> 00:23:49,080
The whole point of a contract
is to make sure this never happens!
401
00:23:49,160 --> 00:25:52,000
PHONE
402
00:23:50,520 --> 00:23:51,480
Don't answer it.
403
00:23:51,560 --> 00:23:52,520
What if it's Honda?
404
00:23:52,600 --> 00:23:53,840
It won't be Honda.
405
00:23:53,920 --> 00:23:54,840
Could be Honda.
406
00:23:56,200 --> 00:23:59,120
All right, but a word out of place
and you're getting the bat.
407
00:24:02,120 --> 00:24:03,240
Hello?
408
00:24:03,320 --> 00:24:04,600
Honda!
409
00:24:04,680 --> 00:24:07,520
Oh, really? Oh, that's great news.
410
00:24:07,600 --> 00:24:09,960
I'm so glad. Dave, call the police!
411
00:24:10,040 --> 00:24:13,080
They're trying to kill me!
412
00:24:15,680 --> 00:24:19,760
Hello, er, Dave, it's... Mark here.
I'm an old friend of Gog's.
413
00:24:19,880 --> 00:24:25,720
We're not trying to kill him, it's
just... he's never had sushi before.
414
00:24:26,640 --> 00:24:27,680
Argh! >
415
00:24:27,440 --> 00:24:33,080
It's all right, Gog, it's supposed
to be raw! Can he call you back?
416
00:24:36,120 --> 00:24:39,480
Hey, Mark? What's the big stink?
417
00:24:39,560 --> 00:24:45,840
Daryl's getting the sack.
He was a massive racist.
Not even his friends knew.
418
00:24:45,920 --> 00:24:47,360
Someone reported him.
419
00:24:47,440 --> 00:24:48,640
Right!
420
00:24:50,800 --> 00:24:55,720
'Oh, shit! He knows it was me. He's
got a pipe bomb in his trousers.'
421
00:24:55,800 --> 00:24:58,400
'You wouldn't bomb a whitey!'
422
00:24:59,200 --> 00:25:02,000
Don't worry, I'm not gonna
embarrass you. I'm going now.
423
00:25:03,840 --> 00:25:08,040
I still think you're
a bloody good guy. Oh, and I
took the rap for the sausage.
424
00:25:09,720 --> 00:25:13,280
So, well, I'll see you round, mate.
425
00:25:13,360 --> 00:25:14,560
Yeah.
426
00:25:19,360 --> 00:25:24,720
Yeah, and... good riddance...
you fucking Nazi!
427
00:25:34,400 --> 00:25:39,280
Everybody's comin' to get me
428
00:25:47,760 --> 00:25:51,120
Intelfax Subtitles
ANDY BURROWS
33843
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Galician
Georgian
German
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof