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'Strong language.'
but I'm not well
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00:00:18,960 --> 00:00:21,000
Mmm.
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Jeremy, what are you doing?
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00:00:23,160 --> 00:00:26,880
It's Toni. She's rummaging.
I'm watching her rummage.
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00:00:29,600 --> 00:00:36,440
God, I think I love her.
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00:00:31,240 --> 00:00:36,440
You love her?
What do you love about her?
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Mmm... everything.
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Her... vibe. Oh, God, why does
the world have to be so wrong?
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00:00:41,640 --> 00:00:44,880
You're just jealous
cos her husband's back.
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There's only so much happiness in
the world. They're hoarding it all.
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00:00:48,400 --> 00:00:51,000
That's not how happiness works.
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'It completely is.'
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Yeah, what would you know
about love or happiness?
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00:00:57,160 --> 00:01:02,600
'What do I know
about love and happiness?
That you have to play dirty.'
15
00:01:02,600 --> 00:01:04,680
'Just can't seem to crack it.'
16
00:01:04,680 --> 00:01:08,600
'Got to go! Can't believe Personnel
issued happy hats.'
17
00:01:08,800 --> 00:01:15,280
'Johnson's our new boss.
Course we're gonna be happy.'
18
00:01:11,600 --> 00:01:15,280
I'd like to thank everyone
for such a warm welcome.
19
00:01:15,280 --> 00:01:18,400
'Maybe I should stop trying
to break into her e-mail.'
20
00:01:18,400 --> 00:01:23,200
'Just have a nice talk to Sophie. A
proper chat. Really get down to it.'
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00:01:23,200 --> 00:01:27,720
..a kick up the arse so hard my
foot'll go up your digestive tract
22
00:01:27,720 --> 00:01:34,600
and wiggle out your mouth
like a little leather tongue.
23
00:01:30,120 --> 00:01:34,600
'Yeah, fuck carrot and stick.
He's making the stick out of carrot.'
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'Jesus, he's good. Careful,
there's man love and business love
25
00:01:38,760 --> 00:01:42,760
and never the twain shall meet.
OK, Sophie, here goes.'
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00:01:42,760 --> 00:01:47,960
'No running away, just stay here
and let it all flood out.'
27
00:01:45,200 --> 00:01:47,960
Hey, Mark! How's it hanging?
28
00:01:48,160 --> 00:01:49,960
OK, thanks.
29
00:01:49,960 --> 00:01:54,160
Sophie, I was wondering... I was
hoping that we could have a chat.
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A proper chat.
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Oh. Yeah.
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00:01:58,120 --> 00:02:00,360
Yeah. So...
33
00:02:03,560 --> 00:02:07,600
Tell me, what was the name
of your first childhood pet?
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00:02:07,800 --> 00:02:12,440
Dancing In The Moonlight
Gerbil the gerbil.
I love this song! Why?
35
00:02:12,440 --> 00:02:15,040
Oh, Jeremy and I were having a bet.
36
00:02:15,040 --> 00:02:18,640
Only wine gums, but it makes
the evenings go a bit quicker.
37
00:02:18,840 --> 00:02:23,240
Oh. So, did you want to dance?
38
00:02:20,960 --> 00:02:23,240
I can't, really...
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00:02:23,240 --> 00:02:29,560
Hi, Soph. You dancing?
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00:02:24,640 --> 00:02:29,560
Oh, you betcha!
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00:02:26,160 --> 00:02:29,560
'You won't be so cocky, Jeff,
when I come into the office
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00:02:29,560 --> 00:02:32,960
with a Kalashnikov
and 200 rounds of ammunition.'
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00:02:33,160 --> 00:02:37,920
'I'm probably the sort of person
who could do something like that.'
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00:02:37,920 --> 00:02:40,120
'Come on, gerbil!'
45
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'Ah, cock-knobs! All right,
what's her favourite TV show?'
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00:02:45,000 --> 00:02:47,960
'Sex And The City. S-A-T-C.'
47
00:02:49,360 --> 00:02:52,800
'Bollocks. Maybe she thinks
it's Sex In The City.'
48
00:02:53,920 --> 00:02:57,800
'I'm in! Bollocks to emoting,
I've got my hands on her innards!'
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00:02:58,000 --> 00:03:01,720
'Hello, "Mark vs Jeff".
This I have to see.'
50
00:03:01,920 --> 00:03:06,720
'Blah, blah." Jeff's a laugh. He can
be an arsehole, but I do fancy him."'
51
00:03:06,720 --> 00:03:11,640
'"Mark's clever and funny but he's
so serious. I wish we could be mates
52
00:03:11,840 --> 00:03:14,440
but he's so uptight." OK.'
53
00:03:16,680 --> 00:03:21,920
Hey, Soph!
54
00:03:17,400 --> 00:03:21,920
Hey, Mark!
So, you wanted to have a big chat?
55
00:03:20,200 --> 00:03:21,920
Yeah, we could do,
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00:03:22,120 --> 00:03:26,480
but why be so serious and uptight?
We should relax, do matey things!
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00:03:26,680 --> 00:03:31,800
Absolutely.
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00:03:27,640 --> 00:03:31,800
Like... a movie.
A movie on a wet Saturday.
59
00:03:31,800 --> 00:03:37,680
That's what mates do, right?
60
00:03:33,240 --> 00:03:37,680
Sure. Or what about a dance class?
You can come to my dance class!
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00:03:37,680 --> 00:03:41,080
Dancing? Yes, dancing,
I love... dancing.
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00:03:41,280 --> 00:03:47,000
'Cos it makes me look like
a coma victim being stood up
and zapped with a cattle prod.'
63
00:03:51,760 --> 00:03:55,280
How about biscotti? Jeremy,
would you like some biscotti?
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00:03:55,480 --> 00:03:57,840
Er,... sure.
65
00:03:59,480 --> 00:04:01,560
I'll get them.
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00:04:06,520 --> 00:04:14,280
So, have you heard? Brand New
Heavies are releasing a new album.
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00:04:09,480 --> 00:04:14,280
Toni, I love you. I can't hold it
in, I absolutely fucking love you.
68
00:04:14,280 --> 00:04:16,600
Jeremy, what are you... Really?
69
00:04:19,520 --> 00:04:26,040
I was just telling Jeremy about
the Brand New Heavies' new album.
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00:04:21,880 --> 00:04:26,040
Yeah. That's something
to look forward to, isn't it?
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00:04:26,240 --> 00:04:29,640
I'd like a ginger nut.
If there are any.
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00:04:30,160 --> 00:04:32,520
Yeah, I think there are some.
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00:04:35,920 --> 00:04:42,080
I love you, I love you,
I love you, I love you, I love you.
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00:04:37,480 --> 00:04:42,080
Jeremy.
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00:04:39,560 --> 00:04:42,080
God, you're so... I mean...
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00:04:44,320 --> 00:04:48,440
What's going on?
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00:04:46,120 --> 00:04:48,440
Tony,
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00:04:48,440 --> 00:04:52,880
Jeremy loves me.
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00:04:50,160 --> 00:04:52,880
Um, no, I didn't actually...
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00:04:53,040 --> 00:04:57,960
Of course you do. You're a moth,
sucked in by the light.
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00:04:58,400 --> 00:05:02,840
I've banged my head for 15 years
against that beautiful light bulb.
82
00:05:03,040 --> 00:05:05,680
And I wouldn't change a day.
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00:05:15,640 --> 00:05:19,040
She's the beautiful poison,
my friend.
84
00:05:19,040 --> 00:05:21,400
'God, this is such a mess.'
85
00:05:21,400 --> 00:05:23,400
'It's fantastic.'
86
00:05:25,280 --> 00:05:31,720
This is the best thing for you, mate.
Take your mind off it.
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00:05:28,240 --> 00:05:31,720
Maybe I should send her
a bit of ear. Or a finger.
88
00:05:31,920 --> 00:05:36,560
Just to show I'm serious.
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00:05:32,920 --> 00:05:36,560
Hi, guys! There's a changing room
if you want to...
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00:05:36,560 --> 00:05:41,160
Um, I thought these would be...
This is salsa, isn't it?
91
00:05:41,360 --> 00:05:45,360
No. Oh, no, salsa's on Tuesdays.
This is Rainbow Rhythms.
92
00:05:45,360 --> 00:05:50,680
It's quite full-on.
Are you all right with that?
93
00:05:48,280 --> 00:05:50,680
Me?
94
00:05:51,880 --> 00:05:54,400
Totally. This looks...
95
00:05:57,520 --> 00:05:59,200
cool.
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00:05:59,400 --> 00:06:02,800
'I've walked into my own
personal nightmare.'
97
00:06:02,800 --> 00:06:05,360
'Must remain non-uptight for Sophie.'
98
00:06:05,560 --> 00:06:09,480
'Even if they make me play
trust exercises with their genitals.'
99
00:06:15,400 --> 00:06:17,320
OK, so now...
100
00:06:17,520 --> 00:06:20,400
we move into... red.
101
00:06:20,760 --> 00:06:23,360
The colour of primal urges.
102
00:06:23,720 --> 00:06:25,840
'Jesus. Mark's such a honky.'
103
00:06:26,040 --> 00:06:28,360
'I'm the alpha-est male here.'
104
00:06:28,360 --> 00:06:31,560
'He's probably here
for community service.'
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00:06:31,560 --> 00:06:34,480
'He looks like
he's getting a bonk on.'
106
00:06:34,680 --> 00:06:39,720
'I'm definitely
king of the hippy jungle.'
107
00:06:37,360 --> 00:06:39,720
Take a partner.
108
00:06:39,720 --> 00:06:44,920
And with that partner, let the music
take you into your primal self.
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00:06:46,400 --> 00:06:49,800
'Jesus Christ!
She must be a tranny.'
110
00:06:50,320 --> 00:06:52,480
'She's no tranny!"
111
00:06:53,960 --> 00:06:59,000
'I'm not really here, it's research.
I'm Louis Theroux. I'm Louis Theroux'
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00:06:59,000 --> 00:07:01,400
'Hey! No fair, that's my fun!'
113
00:07:03,880 --> 00:07:05,720
'Got to get in there.'
114
00:07:11,200 --> 00:07:14,600
Look, can you please
just get out of my way?
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00:07:15,000 --> 00:07:16,520
Thank you.
116
00:07:16,720 --> 00:07:18,200
Hey, Soph!
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00:07:18,200 --> 00:07:22,120
I came with her.
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00:07:19,000 --> 00:07:22,120
It's hot!
Fancy ducking out for a while?
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00:07:22,120 --> 00:07:25,160
We're right in the middle.
120
00:07:22,880 --> 00:07:25,160
Whoo-hoo!
121
00:07:25,160 --> 00:07:28,560
'Is this it? Is this what
my grandad died for?'
122
00:07:28,560 --> 00:07:31,480
'The freedom to do this? Jesus!'
123
00:07:32,880 --> 00:07:36,480
So, how did we all
experience the class?
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00:07:38,200 --> 00:07:40,200
Well, um...
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00:07:40,200 --> 00:07:45,200
I felt a lot of stuff to do with
rejection coming up for me tonight.
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00:07:45,200 --> 00:07:47,560
Um, I was dancing with someone
127
00:07:47,560 --> 00:07:51,560
and they made it very clear
they didn't want to be with me.
128
00:07:51,560 --> 00:07:55,120
Er, and it just...
brought up a lot of feelings.
129
00:07:55,880 --> 00:07:58,040
That's all. Thanks.
130
00:07:58,400 --> 00:08:02,240
Yeah, there was a lot of new energy
in the room tonight
131
00:08:02,240 --> 00:08:05,920
and some of it
was just so Rainbow Rhythms.
132
00:08:05,920 --> 00:08:10,120
And some of it was just
so not Rainbow Rhythms. Thanks.
133
00:08:10,840 --> 00:08:14,920
Just say who you're talking about.
You're talking about me.
134
00:08:15,120 --> 00:08:20,920
Well, yes, all right, I am.
135
00:08:17,240 --> 00:08:20,920
Well, listen. I'm sorry
if I didn't do it right.
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00:08:20,920 --> 00:08:23,320
And I'm sorry if you assume
137
00:08:23,320 --> 00:08:26,720
that I eat red meat
and don't necessarily think
138
00:08:26,720 --> 00:08:29,560
money or Tony Blair are a bad thing,
139
00:08:29,560 --> 00:08:31,760
but if there isn't room here
140
00:08:31,760 --> 00:08:35,560
for people who stand against
everything you believe in,
141
00:08:35,560 --> 00:08:39,080
then what sort of a hippy
free-for-all is this?
142
00:08:42,640 --> 00:08:44,880
'Can't believe yesterday morning
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00:08:44,880 --> 00:08:48,320
I was jerking off
to Toni's answerphone message.'
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00:08:48,320 --> 00:08:50,080
'And this morning...'
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00:08:50,280 --> 00:08:54,000
Oh, Jesus!
146
00:08:51,600 --> 00:08:54,000
Oh, Jesus. Oh, Jesus!
147
00:08:54,200 --> 00:08:57,680
Oh, Jesus, thank you
for this experience!
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00:08:58,040 --> 00:09:00,440
Yeah,... thanks, Jesus.
149
00:09:00,640 --> 00:09:03,400
OK, now,... stop.
150
00:09:04,520 --> 00:09:08,240
What?
151
00:09:05,680 --> 00:09:08,240
Don't... move a muscle.
152
00:09:08,720 --> 00:09:12,360
Now we hold this moment...
for as long...
153
00:09:12,360 --> 00:09:14,360
as we can.
154
00:09:15,560 --> 00:09:18,320
In total... silence.
155
00:09:27,520 --> 00:09:30,040
< Jeremy!
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00:09:30,040 --> 00:09:32,200
Go... away!
157
00:09:32,400 --> 00:09:37,000
No, Jez, we've discussed this. Early
morning counts as late at night.
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00:09:37,000 --> 00:09:41,520
And we agreed
no reggae music late at night, so...
159
00:09:39,280 --> 00:09:41,520
What?
160
00:09:41,520 --> 00:09:45,960
Oh, for God's sake, Jeremy.
I can't talk to you with... that.
161
00:09:45,960 --> 00:09:48,840
We've both got one, haven't we?
162
00:09:49,560 --> 00:09:52,960
Look, Jez, can you please
just keep it quiet?
163
00:09:52,960 --> 00:09:55,080
Some of us have jobs.
164
00:09:55,280 --> 00:09:58,840
Mark, your job is going
to the office. My job is having sex.
165
00:09:58,840 --> 00:10:02,840
That's what I do now.
That's what I am. I'm a sexer. OK?
166
00:10:02,840 --> 00:10:05,280
Sorry, Mark, did we wake you?
167
00:10:05,280 --> 00:10:08,680
We were coming so hard
we didn't notice the volume.
168
00:10:08,680 --> 00:10:10,880
An explanation. Finally.
169
00:10:11,240 --> 00:10:13,280
Thank you, Nancy.
170
00:10:13,280 --> 00:10:15,800
Thanks for the explanation.
171
00:10:18,600 --> 00:10:20,520
'OK, dance class.'
172
00:10:20,720 --> 00:10:25,240
'Ali-kazoo, ali-kazam,
let's find out just how fucked I am.'
173
00:10:26,120 --> 00:10:31,280
'OK, here we go. "And last night,
Mark was a bit weird." Fair comment.'
174
00:10:31,280 --> 00:10:34,680
'"He didn't really get it."
What's to get?'
175
00:10:34,680 --> 00:10:38,360
'"But shit! He came,
so that was pretty amazing." OK!'
176
00:10:38,360 --> 00:10:41,560
'"Had dinner with Jeff later."
Ooh, naughty.'
177
00:10:41,560 --> 00:10:44,560
'"Kissed him, but not sure.
He can be so pushy."'
178
00:10:44,560 --> 00:10:49,200
'He kissed her?! I've got to make a
move! Maybe I should tap her phone.'
179
00:10:50,800 --> 00:10:53,800
'Hope they're not doing it
in the hall.'
180
00:10:53,800 --> 00:10:57,240
'There's nothing erotic
about a hall, is there?'
181
00:10:57,240 --> 00:11:03,920
Hello? I'm coming in now.
This is me coming into my house!
182
00:11:00,160 --> 00:11:03,920
Hi, Mark.
183
00:11:00,800 --> 00:11:03,920
All right, Jez. Is Nancy around?
184
00:11:03,920 --> 00:11:08,240
No, just gone.
I'm seeing her down the Rhythms.
185
00:11:05,800 --> 00:11:08,240
Right, OK.
186
00:11:08,840 --> 00:11:11,480
Jez, why's the chair... And...
187
00:11:11,480 --> 00:11:13,640
what's all this strawberry...
188
00:11:13,640 --> 00:11:17,920
and... my... yogurt?
Jez, what's happened to my Muller?
189
00:11:18,320 --> 00:11:23,640
Oh, no. You haven't been sexing it up
in here? With my yogurt?
190
00:11:23,840 --> 00:11:31,400
Relax, it's all right.
We were just feeling very... horny.
191
00:11:27,600 --> 00:11:31,400
I don't want to know!
I don't want to hear about it!
192
00:11:31,400 --> 00:11:36,440
And I don't want it using up all my
yogurt and... bloody... shower gel?!
193
00:11:36,440 --> 00:11:39,920
I'm just in a very erotic
relationship right now.
194
00:11:39,920 --> 00:11:43,720
We're systematically breaking down
all of society's taboos.
195
00:11:43,920 --> 00:11:49,520
Right. And love? Romance? Is there
any romance in any of this at all?
196
00:11:49,720 --> 00:11:54,880
Who needs romance
when you're doing it up the bum?
197
00:11:51,880 --> 00:11:54,880
Exactly. Exactly... my point.
198
00:11:54,880 --> 00:11:57,320
If you've actually done... that,
199
00:11:57,320 --> 00:12:00,720
which I can see
no point whatsoever in myself...
200
00:12:00,720 --> 00:12:04,080
You'd love to try it.
201
00:12:01,800 --> 00:12:04,080
I honestly would not!
202
00:12:04,080 --> 00:12:07,720
What is this modern obsession
with... that?
203
00:12:07,720 --> 00:12:10,240
Look, Jez, what I'm trying to say is,
204
00:12:10,240 --> 00:12:14,000
so, for better or for worse,
the '60s happened,
205
00:12:14,000 --> 00:12:16,480
and now sex is fine.
206
00:12:16,480 --> 00:12:19,080
But can't we take the best of that,
207
00:12:19,080 --> 00:12:23,480
the nice music, the colours,
the "I have a dream", etc,
208
00:12:23,480 --> 00:12:26,720
but not have to face the... squalor?
209
00:12:27,400 --> 00:12:29,800
Er, you might want to give that
210
00:12:29,800 --> 00:12:32,320
a bit of a rinse, actually, mate.
211
00:12:38,000 --> 00:12:40,000
220
212
00:12:41,840 --> 00:12:45,600
Do I really have to do this?
213
00:12:43,280 --> 00:12:45,600
What are you afraid of?
214
00:12:47,240 --> 00:12:52,520
All done.
215
00:12:48,480 --> 00:12:52,520
I dunno, it just feels
almost... wrong.
216
00:12:52,720 --> 00:12:58,520
We're breaking a taboo,
of course it feels wrong.
We've got boundaries to smash.
217
00:12:58,520 --> 00:13:06,080
It's our duty to God, Shiva, Nasdaq,
whatever you wanna call him.
218
00:13:02,640 --> 00:13:06,080
But are you sure
this isn't... racist?
219
00:13:06,080 --> 00:13:10,680
Jeremy, I come from America. I've
seen the problems race brings up.
220
00:13:12,600 --> 00:13:17,080
Now fuck me
and pretend I'm your mom!
221
00:13:14,840 --> 00:13:17,080
What? Why?
222
00:13:17,080 --> 00:13:20,960
You can't imagine your mom
having sex with a black man?
223
00:13:20,960 --> 00:13:24,640
That's pretty racist, Jeremy.
224
00:13:21,960 --> 00:13:24,640
It's not that, it's just... Mum?
225
00:13:25,240 --> 00:13:27,160
Really?
226
00:13:27,160 --> 00:13:30,640
Mummy? I... I'm sorry, Nancy,
I can't do it.
227
00:13:30,640 --> 00:13:33,280
I'm not... getting anything.
228
00:13:33,280 --> 00:13:35,560
I'm sorry. I just can't.
229
00:13:52,560 --> 00:13:55,000
'Which of my treasured possessions
230
00:13:55,000 --> 00:13:59,160
will they be putting
in each other's anuses tonight?'
231
00:13:56,840 --> 00:13:59,160
'God, she's amazing.'
232
00:13:59,160 --> 00:14:03,200
'Got to keep her interested.
Prove I can break taboos. But what?'
233
00:14:03,200 --> 00:14:05,560
'Take a crap on the floor? No.'
234
00:14:05,560 --> 00:14:10,080
Hi, honey, I managed to make it!
235
00:14:07,880 --> 00:14:10,080
Oh. Brilliant.
236
00:14:10,280 --> 00:14:15,920
Tony and I talked it all through.
The whole horrible situation.
237
00:14:13,640 --> 00:14:15,920
What situation?
238
00:14:15,920 --> 00:14:19,560
You being in love with me!
239
00:14:17,200 --> 00:14:19,560
Oh, right. Yeah.
240
00:14:21,160 --> 00:14:23,400
Now, as we flow into yellow,
241
00:14:23,400 --> 00:14:26,120
remember, stop thinking.
242
00:14:26,120 --> 00:14:28,720
Let your body dance you.
243
00:14:28,720 --> 00:14:32,160
'Next she'll be telling us
to use the Force.'
244
00:14:32,160 --> 00:14:37,720
'Skywalker was bloody lucky
to get away with turning off
his guidance system.'
245
00:14:37,720 --> 00:14:42,600
'No, to act relaxed, it'll take all
my cunning, skill and concentration.'
246
00:14:44,720 --> 00:14:49,400
'Shit! Who's Mr New Pants?
Fuck, he's crossing a boundary.'
247
00:14:49,400 --> 00:14:52,680
'Why do we come somewhere
with no boundaries?'
248
00:14:52,680 --> 00:14:59,200
'This would never happen at the pub'
249
00:14:54,520 --> 00:14:59,200
Now, as we move into red,
let it all go, my super-luminaries.
250
00:14:59,200 --> 00:15:01,400
Open the box.
251
00:15:01,600 --> 00:15:05,600
'Yeah, sure, honey.
Appear to be opening the box
252
00:15:05,600 --> 00:15:09,360
while, in fact,
the lid stays very firmly on.'
253
00:15:09,360 --> 00:15:11,800
TEMPO INCREASES
254
00:15:15,840 --> 00:15:19,320
'She's buying it!
God, it's easy being a freak.'
255
00:15:19,320 --> 00:15:21,600
'No wonder they're ten a penny.'
256
00:15:21,600 --> 00:15:25,400
'I should get extra marks
for not feeling a fucking thing.'
257
00:15:31,520 --> 00:15:33,760
Mark, how are you feeling?
258
00:15:33,760 --> 00:15:40,880
You looked like you really got
in touch with something in there.
259
00:15:36,680 --> 00:15:40,880
'Oh, for God's sake!'
260
00:15:38,240 --> 00:15:40,880
Well, it wasn't really me as such,
261
00:15:40,880 --> 00:15:47,360
it was almost as if something
was flowing out of me.
262
00:15:43,680 --> 00:15:47,360
That literally happened to me
the first time I went.
263
00:15:47,360 --> 00:15:51,880
I opened up so much I puked.
264
00:15:48,840 --> 00:15:51,880
Blimey.
265
00:15:49,360 --> 00:15:51,880
I think that's fantastic.
266
00:15:51,880 --> 00:15:56,840
No, brilliant. That's brilliant,
honey. You're such a bloody trooper.
267
00:15:56,840 --> 00:16:00,320
That's when I decided to live
in the open 24/7. No more crap —
268
00:16:00,520 --> 00:16:02,640
crap sex, crap relationships.
269
00:16:02,640 --> 00:16:08,640
Absolutely, sweetheart.
270
00:16:03,840 --> 00:16:08,640
We have a great time together and we
both know it's an open relationship.
271
00:16:08,840 --> 00:16:14,760
Exactly. We're open
in our relationship.
272
00:16:10,560 --> 00:16:14,760
And we're open with other people.
273
00:16:12,440 --> 00:16:14,760
We... are?
274
00:16:14,760 --> 00:16:21,800
That's what we're all about,
right, Jez? Freedom.
275
00:16:17,120 --> 00:16:21,800
Sure, Nance, sure. Freedom,
loyalty, commitment, monogamy.
276
00:16:21,800 --> 00:16:28,440
In a sense,
that's the final taboo, isn't it?
277
00:16:23,800 --> 00:16:28,440
You weren't worried about monogamy
when you told me you loved me.
278
00:16:30,120 --> 00:16:32,320
Right, yeah. I mean,
279
00:16:32,320 --> 00:16:34,960
that was a bit of a... not mistake,
280
00:16:34,960 --> 00:16:37,240
or joke, but...
281
00:16:37,240 --> 00:16:41,000
just wrong. I mean,
you can't love two people at once.
282
00:16:41,200 --> 00:16:47,720
Yes, you can.
283
00:16:42,360 --> 00:16:47,720
Yeah, of course you can.
284
00:16:44,360 --> 00:16:47,720
No, sure, obviously you can,
but you don't.
285
00:16:47,920 --> 00:16:52,440
You work out who you like best
and pretend not to like anyone else.
286
00:16:53,080 --> 00:16:57,800
What do you think, Soph? Can you love
more than one person at a time?
287
00:16:57,800 --> 00:17:02,480
Well, um, I mean, it depends what
type of love you're talking about.
288
00:17:02,480 --> 00:17:06,960
'But what does she really think?
Probably shouldn't look again today.'
289
00:17:06,960 --> 00:17:13,440
'More than once every four hours
would be obsessive.'
290
00:17:09,480 --> 00:17:13,440
..very confusing.
291
00:17:10,480 --> 00:17:13,440
Yeah, I know exactly what you mean.
292
00:17:13,440 --> 00:17:15,840
I'm off to the bog. For a wee!
293
00:17:17,760 --> 00:17:22,280
'Conversation is rubbish. You
could waste years talking to someone
294
00:17:22,280 --> 00:17:27,000
and never get the bottom line.
OK. Still nothing in the outbox.'
295
00:17:27,000 --> 00:17:31,280
'She needs to express her feelings
more. Check the inbox.'
296
00:17:31,480 --> 00:17:34,960
'A-ha! Jeff. Just arrived.
What's your game?'
297
00:17:35,160 --> 00:17:38,880
'"Just a thought, d'you fancy
going punting on Saturday?"'
298
00:17:38,880 --> 00:17:42,600
'"Thought it might be a laugh.
Bell me, love Jeffy."'
299
00:17:42,600 --> 00:17:46,600
'Jeffy. Eugh. Punting?
Punting equals shunting.'
300
00:17:46,600 --> 00:17:50,800
'Got to get in first, ask her out
on a day trip. What's a banker?'
301
00:17:51,000 --> 00:17:54,680
We'd be exploring the miracles
of flight and human endeavour.
302
00:17:54,680 --> 00:17:58,640
It's a spiritual thing, really.
303
00:17:56,400 --> 00:17:58,640
We are not going to RAF Duxford.
304
00:17:59,520 --> 00:18:05,120
We did vote,
so the stone circle it is.
305
00:18:02,560 --> 00:18:05,120
Yes. Yes, I know.
306
00:18:05,120 --> 00:18:09,240
Well, it'll be good to go to a field
and... look at some stones.
307
00:18:09,440 --> 00:18:17,920
Shit. We've gone into the crease.
I can't make out anything.
308
00:18:13,080 --> 00:18:17,920
Jez, we've been lost for four hours.
Fuck it, I'm going to Tollesbury.
309
00:18:18,120 --> 00:18:24,880
Tollesbury?
310
00:18:18,840 --> 00:18:24,880
We can surprise Gwyn from dance
class. He's got a boathouse there.
311
00:18:22,120 --> 00:18:24,880
Right, Gwyn. Brilliant.
312
00:18:25,080 --> 00:18:28,760
'Shit. Got to stop this.
Grab the wheel. Cause an accident.'
313
00:18:28,760 --> 00:18:32,160
'That's definitely a taboo.
Plus, if she got disfigured,
314
00:18:32,160 --> 00:18:34,360
maybe she'd stick with me.'
315
00:18:34,360 --> 00:18:39,160
'But what if I came off worse? I'm
punching above my weight as it is.'
316
00:18:39,360 --> 00:18:41,640
Or, if we take a right up ahead,
317
00:18:41,640 --> 00:18:46,240
we could make it to this really
wicked-looking public weighbridge!
318
00:18:48,080 --> 00:18:51,480
This is great.
So great to see you guys down here.
319
00:18:51,480 --> 00:18:55,080
This place is fantastic, Gwyn.
Isn't it fantastic?
320
00:18:55,080 --> 00:19:01,200
Amazing.
321
00:18:55,640 --> 00:19:01,200
Brilliant.
322
00:18:56,280 --> 00:19:01,200
We should think about heading off.
323
00:18:58,080 --> 00:19:01,200
Nonsense. We're here, enjoy it.
324
00:19:02,560 --> 00:19:04,760
Hey, I tell you what,
325
00:19:04,760 --> 00:19:06,960
let's all take a swim.
326
00:19:07,160 --> 00:19:10,720
Nice idea but no... stuff.
So we'd better be off.
327
00:19:10,920 --> 00:19:15,320
On a day like this, what stuff do
you need? "I can't possibly enjoy
328
00:19:15,320 --> 00:19:21,600
the fresh water against my skin,
I haven't got my stuff."
329
00:19:18,960 --> 00:19:21,600
OK, I don't need stuff, either.
330
00:19:21,600 --> 00:19:23,800
Forget stuff. Let's have it.
331
00:19:24,400 --> 00:19:26,760
Is there no stuff I can borrow?
332
00:19:26,760 --> 00:19:30,160
I really do feel
more comfortable with stuff.
333
00:19:30,360 --> 00:19:33,760
SPLASH
334
00:19:31,440 --> 00:19:33,760
Oh, this is amazing! I love this!
335
00:19:34,240 --> 00:19:36,400
Come on, Mark!
336
00:19:36,400 --> 00:19:43,640
Get the pants off, dude,
and come on in!
337
00:19:38,640 --> 00:19:43,640
I might keep them on, actually.
338
00:19:40,680 --> 00:19:43,640
Don't be a party pooper, get em off!
339
00:19:43,840 --> 00:19:51,440
Yeah! Come on!
340
00:19:45,640 --> 00:19:51,440
'No way. No fucking way.'
341
00:19:47,760 --> 00:19:51,440
I'm not sure I want to swim,
actually. I might just watch.
342
00:19:51,440 --> 00:19:54,680
Off! Off! Off!
343
00:19:52,400 --> 00:19:54,680
00:19:59,640
We've all got 'em off, get 'em off!
We're having fun!
345
00:19:57,320 --> 00:19:59,640
Jez! Seriously, don't!
346
00:19:59,640 --> 00:20:03,640
I'm pulling your pants down, Mark!
347
00:20:01,200 --> 00:20:03,640
Fuck off! Fuck off! Fuck off me!
348
00:20:04,480 --> 00:20:07,320
I'll do it. All right? I'll do it.
349
00:20:07,520 --> 00:20:09,960
In my own time, I'll do it.
350
00:20:20,040 --> 00:20:22,360
CHEERING
351
00:20:22,360 --> 00:20:24,440
Yes!
352
00:20:24,640 --> 00:20:26,880
INSECTS CHIRRUP
353
00:20:27,080 --> 00:20:31,360
'OK, done the hard part,
they've seen and rated my penis,
354
00:20:31,360 --> 00:20:35,960
now to take advantage of the '60s
vibe, to get it on with Sophie.'
355
00:20:35,960 --> 00:20:38,160
This place is amazing, Gwyn.
356
00:20:38,160 --> 00:20:40,440
How can you afford it all?
357
00:20:40,440 --> 00:20:42,840
I guess I've just been very lucky.
358
00:20:42,840 --> 00:20:46,760
Money's an energy and lots of it
has always flowed towards me.
359
00:20:46,760 --> 00:20:53,840
Particularly after my parents died.
360
00:20:48,400 --> 00:20:53,840
Cosmic.
361
00:20:49,600 --> 00:20:53,840
You might find that funny
but it was quite a painful time.
362
00:20:53,840 --> 00:21:00,280
No, I just meant...
363
00:20:54,320 --> 00:21:00,280
'You're not gonna out-hippy me,
you fucking hippy.'
364
00:20:57,040 --> 00:21:00,280
..this place has great energy.
365
00:21:00,280 --> 00:21:03,720
Yeah. I remember
when I first spent time down here.
366
00:21:03,720 --> 00:21:07,400
I was 14 years old.
And I came down here all alone,
367
00:21:07,400 --> 00:21:11,600
just with a candle and
an old, old copy of Henry Miller.
368
00:21:11,600 --> 00:21:15,000
And I just had
the most amazing wank.
369
00:21:15,000 --> 00:21:17,360
It really just bust me open.
370
00:21:17,360 --> 00:21:21,480
I couldn't believe I had
this... instrument. Right there.
371
00:21:21,680 --> 00:21:27,760
Isn't it amazing,
that first big wank?
372
00:21:24,840 --> 00:21:27,760
Oh, yeah.
373
00:21:25,600 --> 00:21:27,760
Oh, yeah.
374
00:21:29,000 --> 00:21:33,480
I tell you what we used to do
down here as kids, spin the bottle.
375
00:21:33,680 --> 00:21:35,840
That old thing!
376
00:21:35,840 --> 00:21:38,520
Hey. Why not?
377
00:21:39,360 --> 00:21:41,960
Why don't we just fucking go for it?
378
00:21:41,960 --> 00:21:44,240
Yeah!
379
00:21:44,240 --> 00:21:48,560
OK, so, whoever's on kisses
whoever the bottle stops at. Cool?
380
00:21:48,760 --> 00:21:50,520
Yeah. Mark?
381
00:21:50,720 --> 00:21:55,200
'Say no. Ask her to go for a walk.'
382
00:21:52,840 --> 00:21:55,200
Sure, yeah.
383
00:21:55,200 --> 00:21:58,440
OK, so, Jez, you're on. And it's...
384
00:21:58,640 --> 00:22:05,000
'Nancy. Nancy. Nancy.'
385
00:22:00,480 --> 00:22:05,000
Mark.
386
00:22:02,000 --> 00:22:05,000
OK, so, what happens? Spin again?
387
00:22:05,240 --> 00:22:08,760
Sure. If you can't handle it,
spin again.
388
00:22:09,320 --> 00:22:11,640
Oh,... I can handle it.
389
00:22:11,640 --> 00:22:13,960
I just wasn't sure about... Mark.
390
00:22:14,160 --> 00:22:17,400
Where you stand on... taboos.
391
00:22:17,400 --> 00:22:21,800
'I'm not uptight. I'm not uptight!'
392
00:22:19,480 --> 00:22:21,800
I... hate taboos.
393
00:22:22,000 --> 00:22:24,000
Well, me too.
394
00:22:24,000 --> 00:22:28,320
I break them.
395
00:22:25,680 --> 00:22:28,320
Me too, I... love breaking them.
396
00:22:29,720 --> 00:22:32,800
'Oh, no! No! No!'
397
00:22:36,080 --> 00:22:39,760
'I can't believe this is happening.
He doesn't even floss.'
398
00:22:39,760 --> 00:22:45,400
'I tell him, but he won't.
Jesus, when can we stop?'
399
00:22:42,160 --> 00:22:45,400
'Don't stop first.
If I don't mind looking gay,
400
00:22:45,400 --> 00:22:48,800
I'll seem the most hetero.
At least it's Mark.'
401
00:22:48,800 --> 00:22:51,040
'Oh, Jesus, it's Mark!'
402
00:22:53,160 --> 00:22:55,360
Wow, Mark.
403
00:22:57,000 --> 00:22:59,160
Well done.
404
00:22:59,360 --> 00:23:01,520
Thank you.
405
00:23:01,520 --> 00:23:04,400
OK, so, Nancy's on.
406
00:23:04,400 --> 00:23:08,040
'This is probably
how the Manson family started.'
407
00:23:10,600 --> 00:23:12,520
Come here, you.
408
00:23:20,080 --> 00:23:22,200
Er,... hey,
409
00:23:22,200 --> 00:23:26,040
come on, folks,
there are other people waiting to...
410
00:23:26,600 --> 00:23:28,880
'Hmm. OK.'
411
00:23:29,120 --> 00:23:32,840
'The squalor. It's happening.
It's Woodstock, it's Altamont,
412
00:23:32,840 --> 00:23:36,840
it's My Lai. Although,
Sophie's hand on my thigh,
413
00:23:36,840 --> 00:23:40,240
maybe there's a time and a place
for squalor.'
414
00:23:40,240 --> 00:23:42,640
Sophie, your hand...
415
00:23:43,240 --> 00:23:45,960
Oh, look. Gwyn's feeling me up.
416
00:23:46,280 --> 00:23:50,840
'I'm Louis Theroux. I'm Louis Theroux
and his wry smile at the orgy.'
417
00:23:50,840 --> 00:23:57,160
Mark, are you into this?
Cos you don't look that into this.
418
00:23:53,200 --> 00:23:57,160
No, no, this is... great.
I'm into this.
419
00:23:58,400 --> 00:24:00,960
Cos I'm not sure I'm into this.
420
00:24:01,200 --> 00:24:03,480
You're not?
421
00:24:04,040 --> 00:24:05,960
Brilliant.
422
00:24:06,800 --> 00:24:11,240
'Sure, an orgy sounds great,
but you're basically just multiplying
423
00:24:11,240 --> 00:24:17,520
the number of people you won't be
able to look in the eye afterwards.'
424
00:24:14,120 --> 00:24:17,520
It would be interesting
to try that one day
425
00:24:17,520 --> 00:24:24,560
but there would inevitably
be complications.
426
00:24:20,160 --> 00:24:24,560
If you're into that, you probably
see the inevitable complications
427
00:24:24,560 --> 00:24:31,600
as part of the fun.
428
00:24:25,560 --> 00:24:31,600
Yeah.
429
00:24:27,000 --> 00:24:31,600
Isn't this beautiful?
430
00:24:29,160 --> 00:24:31,600
It really is.
431
00:24:35,960 --> 00:24:40,880
Here you go.
432
00:24:37,080 --> 00:24:40,880
'Yeah, you can keep your VD
and your barricades
433
00:24:40,880 --> 00:24:43,240
and your talking and your drugs,
434
00:24:43,240 --> 00:24:46,960
I'm back to basics —
moonlight, lake, cardigan.'
435
00:24:46,960 --> 00:24:48,720
'Perfect.'
436
00:24:48,720 --> 00:24:51,240
'I should do something romantic.'
437
00:24:51,240 --> 00:24:53,600
'Surely I'm not about to sing?'
438
00:24:53,600 --> 00:24:57,040
I may be wrong
439
00:24:57,040 --> 00:25:00,360
to swear
440
00:25:00,560 --> 00:25:05,280
and smiled at me
441
00:25:14,520 --> 00:25:18,200
'He looked like he was singing.
He couldn't have been singing.'
442
00:25:22,440 --> 00:25:25,840
'This is good.
This is like watching a porno.'
443
00:25:25,840 --> 00:25:28,000
'Except I can't see anything,
444
00:25:28,200 --> 00:25:31,600
I haven't got a hard-on
and I want to cry.'
445
00:25:35,040 --> 00:25:38,880
'OK, last time. I've really got
to stop it. At least ration it.'
446
00:25:39,080 --> 00:25:41,320
'Three times a day. Yak, yak, yak.'
447
00:25:41,520 --> 00:25:46,920
'"Mark was so sweet.
We could have something special
if we see more of each other."'
448
00:25:47,120 --> 00:25:52,600
Henmania!
449
00:25:47,920 --> 00:25:52,600
Hey, Mark, what are you celebrating?
450
00:25:49,640 --> 00:25:52,600
Oh,... weren't we meeting outside?
451
00:25:52,800 --> 00:25:59,240
Go on, what is it? Let me see.
452
00:25:53,880 --> 00:25:59,240
Honestly, it's nothing.
453
00:25:56,200 --> 00:25:59,240
How did... Mark, is that my e-mail?
454
00:25:59,240 --> 00:26:01,560
No, it's not! It's just, er...
455
00:26:01,760 --> 00:26:07,000
'Escape! Escape! Escape!'
456
00:26:03,400 --> 00:26:07,000
Mark, I can't believe
you'd actually...
457
00:26:08,080 --> 00:26:10,640
Sophie, but... Please! Don't!
458
00:26:10,640 --> 00:26:13,000
We have something special!
459
00:26:13,200 --> 00:26:17,360
Not my words, yours!
We can't throw that all away
460
00:26:17,360 --> 00:26:19,640
just because I... spy on you.
461
00:26:19,840 --> 00:26:22,160
Can we?
462
00:26:39,360 --> 00:26:42,480
with the moles
463
00:26:43,920 --> 00:26:46,360
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SAM KINGSLEY
35979
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