All language subtitles for Murphy Brown s11e12 AWOL.eng

♪♪

Murphy: Just want to be clear,
Major Stansfield,

our source in Afghanistan
says that the Pentagon

has been deliberately inflating
the number of Taliban killed

while under-reporting
the Afghan military

who have deserted
or been killed.

But you're saying --

I'm saying this country
has never been safer from terrorists.

We're not talking
about this country.

We're talking
about Afghanistan.

Are we winning the war?

What we should be talking about
is the importance

of our new sixth branch
of the military --

the Space Force.

Our source in Afghanistan
says that they have evidence

that the Pentagon has
exaggerated the claims

of Taliban containment.

The talks with North Korea
are historic.

Why are you dodging
the question?

You know, Ms.Brown,

I don't have to sit here
and be hectored by you.

If you have
all the answers,

why don't you
just interview yourself?

[ Whispering ]
Put a camera on Murphy.

Stay with her.

The war has been going on
for 17 years,

our American men
and women killed,

countless civilian lives lost,
and billions of dollars spent.

Seriously?!

Yeah, you just keep dodging,
Mr. Major.

Stay with them!This is so cool.

Last time I saw her move
that fast,

she was chasing a Mister Softee
truck down K Street.

You're gonna answer my question
if I have to tail you

all the way back
to the Pentagon!

Where the hell
is the exit?

How are you gonna get us
out of Afghanistan

if you can't even find
your way out of here?

Fall back. Fall back.

I should have gone
on "Hannity."

You can't outrun me,
buster.

I've got two fake hips.
I'm bionic.

♪♪

Mark: Welcome back to
"Mark Clark's America."

I'm here at Ricks' Woodworking
in Sioux City, Iowa,

with Aaron Ricks.

Aaron, how excited are you
about the fantastic 10% tax cut

the president is promising
the middle class?

Oh, please!
You know what?

If he's gonna steal my show
and my persona

and my beard and my glasses,
at least don't let him spout

propaganda
like it's fact.

Fantastic tax cut?
Yeah, right.

More like imaginary tax cut.
Am I right?

Can you believe that hack?

How you doing?

You want a Pup-Peroni?

Ooh, remember that trick
I taught you?

Touch.

[ Bell dings ]Ah, yes!

Who's the most amazing-est dog
in the world?!

Do it again. Touch.

[ Bell rings ][ Chuckling ] Yes.

Yes!

Avery, it's tough enough
to get to sleep

at the time most people
are having dinner.

And then you're yelling
at the TV,

and Benny's calling
for a bellhop.

Oh, sure.
Rub it in.

You have somewhere
to be tomorrow.

You have a job.

Look,
I-I know this is hard.

Leaving the Wolf Network
was --

Stupid?
Impulsive? Crazy?Of course not.

I mean, Wolf asked you
to read a piece of propaganda

on the air,
and you refused.

Showing a little integrity
is never a bad career move.

Well, tell that
to my agent.

It's been six weeks,
and the only offer I've gotten

is to co-host
a "New Year's Eve Ball Drop"

with Gilbert Gottfried
and Mike Tyson.

This is a temporary situation.
I mean, look at me.

I came back after a stint
at Betty Ford.

Even Tucker Carlson
survived looking like

a trained bear in a bow tie on
"Dancing with the Stars."

You watch
"Dancing with the Stars"?

I will watch any show
that humiliates

both Tucker Carlson
and Rick Perry.

Look, you just need to go out
and keep yourself busy

and, you know -- ohh,
and maybe take a shower.

[ Bell dings ]

You got to give him
the treat now.

He will not be denied.

I know Pavlov's theory.

You would never have made it
to school on time

if I hadn't held
a plate of bacon

under your nose
every morning.Oh, yeah?

How do you think I trained you
to feed me breakfast in bed?

[ Bell dinging ]

You watch him, Benny.
He's tricky.

Good boy.

[ Bell dings ]

[ Elevator bell dings ]

I'm looking
for Murphy Brown.

Does anyone know
where he is?

I'm...him.

Whatevs.
I don't know news people.

[ Chuckling ]
Who watches TV anymore?

Yeah. I'm guessing
you're my new assistant.

It's Jayden with a "Y."

But, TBH, this is not how I want
to be spending my time.

My parents -- ugh! --
got on my case to get a job

after they "spent $200,000"
on my degree

in comparative web
series.

You were supposed to be here
at 5:00 a.m.

Oh, I thought
that was a typo.

No, I can't be here
at that hour.

Oh, and FWIW, I have to leave
early for a goat yoga class,

which, if you don't get there
an hour in advance,

all the best goats
are taken.

Actually, you can
leave now -- BYF.

Huh?
Because you're fired.

Okay.
Awesome!

Hey, who do I talk to about
getting unemployment?

And can you call my parents
and tell them

that it's not my fault?
Thank you.

Why does this keep happening
to me?

[ Elevator bell dings ]Okay, people, story meeting.
Gather, gather.

Whew! Smells like office
in here --

coffee and printer ink.
How you doing, guys?

-Good!
-Hey!

Avery.
What are you doing here?

You know,
I was in the neighborhood,

and I just thought I'd pop by,
say hey.

We're just starting
a story meeting.

It'll be about
half an hour.

You could wait up
in my office.

Or, you know, I could stay down
here and hang out with you guys.

Oh. Uh, during, uh, our --
our -- our story meeting?

What do you think, Murph?

Well, I...
If it's okay with you, Miles.

Since when do you check with me
to see if something's okay?

I just now started.

Sure, Avery, hang out.

Great!
I'm gonna grab a cup of coffee.

Miles: So, we are getting
a lot of buzz

off of Murphy's confrontation
with Stansfield yesterday,

and we have to follow up
on that quickly.

How solid is your source?

Ahmed Zahir --
He's a leading official

with the Afghan intelligence
operation.

Frank: He's been increasingly
disillusioned

by the Pentagon officials
who are misrepresenting

what's actually
happening on the ground.

Murphy says he has all
the documentation she needs.

[ Whistles ] Wow.
Have you seen those documents?

'Cause that's
pretty important.

Uh, yeah, well, it -- it --
it would be important.

I'm trying to reach him
to see if we can get our hands

on the evidence and hopefully
get him on camera.

Ooh,
it's not gonna be easy.

I imagine he's really putting
himself in jeopardy, you know?

Right. Right.

Excuse me. Excuse me.
Ahh.

-Uh --
-You know...

...I hear that all the guys
in the Afghan military

are going AWOL, like,
left and right,

and the Taliban is surging
in new recruits.

-Uh-huh.
-Uh-huh.

So, this is going
to be a huge story.

I'm gonna lobby Diana
for an hour of air time

out of our two-hour block.

Of course [chuckles]
never easy with her.

But it's another huge story
no one's paying attention to.

Every day, our president
creates another distraction.

There's always another
tweet from the toilet.

You know, if he'd just add
a little more fiber to his diet,

we'd all
be a lot happier.

But, you know, this story
could be as big a deal

as the Pentagon Papers
were during Vietnam.

Hey, you know, if you want,
I can get a copy

of Neil Sheehan's book
and do a report on that.

[ Stammers, chuckles ]

Um, you know, I-I actually have
a copy that Neil gave me.

Oh.Um, yeah, it was back in --
in the '70s.

We worked together
at the Times.

-You got it.
-Yeah. Yeah.

You guys got it covered.
[ Chuckles ]

Oh, God, I'm having a flashback
to being 6 years old.

You're about to take me
into your office

and play with Power Rangers
so I'll get out of your hair.

Aw.
Don't be silly, "Avey"!

Yeah.

We love your ideas --
and enthusiasm. Don't we, guys?

Absolutely, yes.
Wonderful.

-So bright.
-Okay, just --

It's making it worse,
all right?

I'm fine.
I'm sorry I-I interrupted.

I will let you guys
get back to work.

I'll try to get home early
tonight, Avery.

All right.
Thank you, Mom.

Geez. I've got stuff I can do.[ Elevator bell dings ]

Ah!
Avery Brown.

A little scruffy,
but smart, telegenic, young --

just what CNC
could use right now.Oh, well, I --

Unfortunately, you trashed
your network on the air.

Executives aren't fond
of loose cannons.

You're toxic.

How tall are you?
6'2".

6'2" of Kryptonite.
It was nice talking with you.

Let's do it again
in 8 to 10 months.

[ Elevator bell dings ]

Murphy, kudos on yesterday's
interview and foot race.

Phenomenal buzz online.

Well, there's
a lot more to come.

Murphy: Diana, we would
like to have an hour

for our piece
on Afghanistan.

An hour?

I'm sorry.
Have I walked into 1979?

We can't do an hour
on anything anymore.

The attention span of the
average viewer is three minutes.

Look, we've got a war that's
been going on for 17 years.

Our government is telling us
we're winning, but we're not.

It's Vietnam
all over again,

and this story
can be the Pentagon Papers.

So, I'm having
my morning coffee

and my half a piece
of dry toast and three almonds,

and you want me to sit there
for an hour

and listen
to a complicated story?

I'm switching over
to the "Today" show,

where they're doing a piece
on a 15-foot alligator

terrorizing people
on Trump's golf course.

If it gets us our Afghanistan
story more time,

I'd be happy
to do a 'gator piece.

I'm from 'gator territory.

I think 'gator.
I speak 'gator.

I even lost my grandma
to a 'gator.

Thank you for your sacrifice,
Corky.

Diana, we need an expanded
segment on Afghanistan.

Miles, tell her
why she's wrong.

Yes, by all means,
Silverberg,

come up to my office and tell me
why I'm wrong.[ Elevator bell dings ]

I think you know
where my office is.

It's the last door
before the exit.

Nothing good ever happens to me
in Diana's office.

The last time
I went up against her,

she moved my parking space
to one underneath

the exhaust vent from
the P.F. Chang's downstairs.

Getting into my car was like
getting into a pork dumpling.

You're gonna have a dumpling
in your own exhaust vent

if you don't move it!

I'll go talk to her, Miles,
if you don't want to.

Look, I think one of the reasons
that we butt heads so much

is she's actually
attracted to me.

It's kinda textbook.

I'd say kinda delusional.

Same old story men
have been telling themselves

ever since women
invented fire.

Hey, Miles?
My source in Afghanistan --

He still hasn't
texted me back.

Well, how long
has it been?

Hours.

He's always good
about texting me

at exactly the time
we agree on.

Something's not right.

Are you kidding me?

I'm about to go up
to hell's front office

and press for an hour
on a story that hinges entirely

on a source who's disappeared?[ Elevator bell dings ]

If I'm not back
in a half an hour,

somebody feed my cats!

And cancel
my HBO account.

I'll never know how
"Game of Thrones" ends.

Avery: Hey, Phyllis,
can I ask you something?

Unless it's "Can I order
the $35 T-bone?", no.

Kinda busy.

Do you think I made a mistake
quitting Wolf?

I mean, the way I did?

You stood up
for your principles.

I admire that.
Stop waving.

I see you.

Listen,
it'll all work out.

Meanwhile,
this is not Starbucks,

so order something
besides coffee

or move your keister
off that stool.

Where is Miguel
with the glasses?!

Hello? Am I supposed to pour
the drink myself?

Uh, you know what?
What do you need?

Um, S-Scotch, neat.

All right. Scotch.

Okay, here you go.
Uh, wait.

I'm being interviewed
by Mueller in an hour.

Make it a double.

Why don't I just leave you
the bottle?

How about you guys?
You need a couple of refills?

Sure.
Two Pinot Noirs.

All...right.
Two Pinot Noirs.

Hey, just wondering --
do you have an opinion

on that caravan that's coming up
from Central America?

Sorry, buddy, we're just here
to enjoy our lunch.

Oh, sure, sure, sure.
But, you know, I'm just curious.

I mean, do you have
an opinion at all

on the president's
immigration policies?

Hey, aren't you the guy who went
bonkers on the Wolf Network?

I didn't go bonkers.
I was making a point.

Yeah, well,
now you're making minimum wage.

I don't work here, all right?
I'm just helping out.

Yeah,
and I'm happily married.

I just choose
to sleep on the couch.

[ Sighs ]
Can I get a coffee to go?

Oh, dude, you're working
as a busboy now?

That is harsh.

No, no, no. Phyllis is in
the back, all right?

It got busy.
I'm just helping out.

Hey, you know,
we've all been there.

Three months ago,
I was unemployed,

sharing a one-bath apartment
with six other dudes.

It was brutal.

There was so much hair
on the soap.

Look at me now, though.
I'm employed, insured.

I'm paying off
my student loans.

Only 19 more years,

and I'll be off
my mom's cellphone plan.

Congrats.
Come on, man.

You'll land on your feet.
You're young.

What are you, 24, 25?

I'm almost 29.

Oh.

Wow. [ Chuckles ]

Staring down the barrel of 30
and not even a waiter yet.

Okay, I don't work here.

Keep the change.

What is this, a $10?
I don't need a handout.

It's not
a handout, champ.

It's a hand up.

[ Horns honking ]

Yo, Avery, what are you doing
behind the bar?

Oh, no, Pat needed a coffee,
and, uh --

I-I don't know --
I don't have anything to do.

I guess
I'm a little depressed.

Oh, yeah.
Yo, I get that.

Yeah?

And here I was feeling sorry
for myself

because my parents
were deported.

I'm living over a bar
with Phyllis,

who snores
like a freight train

because she has
a deviated septum.

But by all means,
tell me more about how

you blew your shot
at your own prime-time TV show.

Did I tell you my dog
has wheels?

Yes.
Okay.

Just gonna go
sit over there.

I don't know, Miles!
He's just evaporated.

I mean,
he's an informant.

He probably thinks people
are onto him.

He's gone underground.

Six feet under
is where I'm gonna be

if we don't get this story
back on track.

I got us the hour,
but I had to buy four tickets

for a play Diana's niece
is doing --

"The Vagina Monologues."

Her niece is 12.

It's just gonna
be very uncomfortable.

Oh, look, there's Avery!
Again.

I think he feels bad
about crashing

our story meeting
this morning.

We should
invite him over here.

[ Indistinct conversations ]

Oh, for God's sake,
how long before one of you

pretends to be trapped
in an invisible box?

Get your ass over here.

All right. Hey, guys.
Listen, I'm sorry.

I promise
that I will not

stick my nose
into your story again.

Well, there may not
be a story.

My source
has gone dark.

You're kidding.
Wow.

Do you have
any more resources that --

Crap.
I'm doing it again.

[ Chuckles ]

Well, you mean resources
to track him?

20 years ago, we would have,
but nowadays,

we mostly have to depend
on freelancers.

Back then, all the networks
had bureaus all over the world,

staffed with reporters
who knew the territory

and had Rolodexes
just filled with contacts.

Miles: When I came on,
they had just moved news

into the entertainment
division.

Those bureaus weren't
"cost-effective" anymore.

Yeah, that's right.

Listen, when CBS
sent Cronkite to Vietnam,

it changed the course
of the war.

He came back, went on the air
in front of 40 million people,

and told the country
we were losing.

LBJ heard that.

He said, "Look,
if I've lost Cronkite,

I've lost Middle America,"
and that started the pullout.

That's the kind of impact
a journalist can have.

This story could have
that kind of impact,

but now we have to do it
all long-distance

with cellphones
and computers.

God, I miss
the old days.

That's when a reporter
made their bones.

You'd pack in 10 minutes,

hop on a flight
to God knows where.

Your adrenalin
was always pumping.

And then there was
the camaraderie.

I mean, you could be in some
crazy, dangerous place,

but still,
you bonded together.

You found the right bar.

[ Laughter ]

And you shared
information.

You guys make it sound
so exciting...

except the
"10 minutes to pack" part.

I have never been able to pack
in under a day and a half.

I need a minimum
of three bags.

I lay my clothes out
the night before.

I put tissue paper between
the layers to avoid wrinkling.

Honest to God,
I see Christiane Amanpour

in some strange part
of the world,

and I just want to take
a portable steamer to her.

I feel bad for the young
journalists coming up.

They will never know
what it's like to be shoved

into the back
of a van blindfolded

and driven to
an undisclosed location.

[ Laughs ]
Oh, yeah.

Good times.
That was fun.

Ah. Well, you guys, you know,
I could stay here

and listen to this stuff
all day long,

but I have a dog at home
that I need to go walk.

So, thanks for letting me
hang out.

I will see you later.
-Mm-hmm.

-See, you buddy.
-Bye, Avery.

Take care, man.

Hey, uh, Phyllis,
can we get some menus, please?

Let me ask you something.

What the hell
do you need a menu for?

It hasn't changed
in 40 years.

Figure out
whatever the hell you want,

and I will give you
whatever the hell I got.

[ Bell dings ]

Murphy: [ Singsong voice ]
Coming!

What do you want now?

Another Snausage?

How many have you had?

[ Benny whimpers ]

[ Sighs ] Okay.
This is the last one.

[ Bell dings ]

I said
I don't have any more!

[ Bell dings three times ]

This is just abusive.

Here's a piece of cheese.

But you have to chew it --
like this.

This is pretty good.
What am I wasting it on you for?

Avery! It's 8:00!

You want to grab
a burger with me?

Probably has his ear buds in.

♪♪

[ Wheels squeaking ]

[ Knock on door ]

Murphy: Avery?

I can come back if you're doing
something private.

Well, if I were,
you would have killed the mood.

Come on in.

I didn't mean
to be dismissive before.

I know it's hard
when you're --

Oh, you're packing.

You're going somewhere.
Are you gonna visit friends?

That's a great idea.
Take your mind off things.

Where are you going?

Afghanistan.
[ Laughs ]

Well, who needs Fort Lauderdale
when you've got Kandahar?

No, really.
Where are you going?

I'm not kidding.

You need someone
to find your source,

and I need something to make me
feel like a journalist again.

Well, you don't have to go
to Afghanistan

to feel like
a journalist.

There are tons
of stories here.

And tons of journalists
to do them.

Look, you know, a lot of people
think that this war is over.

That's how little attention
it's getting lately.

But if your story
makes it to air,

the truth will come out.

This is crazy.

You're walking into one
of the most dangerous places

in the world
with no support system,

no network resources,
no connections.

I had a pretty busy
few hours.

I got a visa through
the consulate.

I made contact
with the Kabul chief of police

to get updates
on what roads are safe.

I got a contact number
for the malik just in case

I need help, got a translator,
got a driver.

I researched
the nearby airstrips

just in case
I need to get evacuated.

I don't know how you guys
ever did this

without cellphones
and the Internet.

That's it. I am suspending
your computer privileges.

Mom...

Avery,
you can't do this.

Well, tell me
you wouldn't have done

the same thing
when you were my age.

Well, this is different.

Why?
Because you're my son.

I promise
I will be careful, okay?

I will call you
every day to check in

to let you know
that I am safe.

But I need to do this.

What --
What about the dog?

You can't leave me
with him.

I just stole cheese
from him.

There's no end
to what I'm capable of.

I think
you'll both be okay.

And so will I.

You said it yourself --
I'm your son.

Bye, Benny Brown.
You take care of her, okay?

And if she forgets to feed you,
you just chew on her leg.

It worked for me.

Avery --

I know.

I love you, too.

[ Footsteps departing ]

[ Benny whimpering ]

[ Door opens and closes ]

[ Whimpering continues ]

Tell me about it.

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

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