All language subtitles for Murphy Brown s11e11 The Wheels on the Dog Go Round and Round.eng

♪♪

As always, it's been
a challenging week for news.

We deserve to hear
something heartwarming.

What have you got,
Corky?

I've got
just the thing.

Tomorrow is National
Adopt a Pet Day!

Millions of dogs and cats
need homes.

So maybe we can shine
a light on the situation

and get these
furry friends adopted.

And did you know
that Donald Trump

is the only president
since McKinley

not to have a pet?

Well, people
in glass houses, Murphy.

I had a dog
when I was a kid.

Its name was Lassie.

Was it real...
or was it stuffed?

It was real to me.

Anyway, I'll be broadcasting
live tomorrow morning

from the 14th Street
Animal Shelter.

So come on down,
see the animals,

and meet me and...

Murphy Brown.

What?Oh, you know what?
I see we're out of time.

So let's make sure
to tune in tomorrow for

Murphy
in the Shelter!

Wait,
what just happened?

[ Outro music plays ]

Julius: And we're out...

Another show without
a black correspondent.

I'm just saying.

And don't think you can fire me,
'cause you can't.

I looked it up.

[ Speaking Spanish ]

I'm doing great in school,
and I'm all settled in upstairs.

[ Speaking Spanish ]

I love you.

Your parents are such
good people, Miguel.

I can think of a dozen
characters in this town

that I'd rather see deported,
and that's just the Cabinet.

My parents also
said to thank you

for letting me stay in
your spare room upstairs.

Hey, it's yours as long
as you need it.I appreciate that.

Although I am curious
about where

all those creepy clown
paintings came from.

They're great,
aren't they?

Did you know they were all
painted by men on death row?

No, I did not.

Phyllis: Hey, buddy.
We're not open yet.

Be a good customer and
come back in a few minutes.

I'm not a customer.
Fred Noonan,

supervisor of the D.C. Safety
and Hygiene Service Division.

-You're the health inspector?
-Here in compliance

with the FDA
Federal Food Code.

Your safety certification
is almost expired.

Is this because I refused
to serve Mitch McConnell?

It-- It's not for
the obvious reasons.

He always comes in
without an umbrella...

...and leaves with one.

Just doing my job, ma'am.
Checking for the following --

risk of fire, flood,

interruption of electrical
or water service,

sewage backup, potential
for food-borne illness,

and signs of insect
and/or vermin infestation.

And if you
find something?

I'll have
to close you down.

This place has been in my family
for three generations.

My father and brother gave
their lives for this bar.

So you're saying
someone died here?

No!
Not lately.

I'm gonna start
at the ice machine.

When was the last time
you cleaned the filter?

Uh...
I think the answer you're looking for

is "never."

I'll handle
this.

Remember, I grew up
on a food truck.

Why don't you refill
the salt and pepper shakers,

fold the napkins,
and...

get your bras out of
the sink in the back.

Okay, sure.

The kitchen
is this way.

I can't believe
you ambushed me

on the air,
Corky!

I am working on a huge
Chinese tariffs story.

I don't have time
to go to an animal shelter.

I understand, Murphy,
but if you come to the shelter

it could really help
draw attention to the cause.

We're on the air
five days a week, Murphy.

There's no reason you can't
report on Chinese tariffs

while you're petting
a Schnauzer.

I'm having trouble picturing you
in an animal shelter, Murph.

It's like picturing Pence
at a gay wedding. [ Chuckles ]

You know, you are enjoying
this way too much.

And if you think
it's such a good idea,

why don't you go
in my place?

First of all,
I'm not on-air talent.

And secondly,

I'm not
a dog person.

I had a girlfriend
in college who had

one of those
giant poodles.

He used to follow me
into the bathroom

and stare at me while
I was taking a shower.

Judging.

The first time my girlfriend
and I had sex,

it thought I was killing her,
and it tried to attack me.

I could never spend the night at
her place because I had a sense

that the dog was just waiting
for me to fall asleep...

so it could eat me.

No, I am not
a dog person.

I was a single
working mom.

I traveled a ton.

Avery asked me
constantly for one,

but I knew the responsibility
of the dog

would land on me.

Do not say
the word "d-o-g."

-Hey, guys.
-Hey, hey.

-Hey.
-Hey, buddy.

How's everybody doing
on this very fine morning?

Well, you're
in a good mood.

Yup, yup, because I have got
some very big news.

You ready?
I am no longer

gonna be on the air
opposite you.

Because -- they are moving
"Avery Brown's America"

to 10:00.

That's 10:00 P.M.,

as in following
John Haggerty's show.

-Wow!
-Whoa, kid!

You just went from
the minor leagues

all the way
to the big show.

Haggerty is the top draw
in cable news.

That is
one huge lead-in.

That's incredible.
Isn't it, Murphy?

Your baby's
in prime time.

Remember when we were
in prime time?

Cars used
to pick us up.

Our faces
were on buses.

I didn't have to share
a bathroom with Frank.

Phyllis,
can I get a vodka?

Make it two.

I'm busy.

You know, I don't believe
I've heard a reaction

from you yet,
Mother.

Avery, I think you know how
I feel about the Wolf Network.

You just can't admit it,
can you?

You were so sure
that me working there

was gonna end in some massive
failure, and it hasn't.

You did get your lights
punched out not long ago

by rabid fans
of your own network.

Yeah, that's
precisely because

I didn't compromise
my vision for my show.

I let America speak on both
sides of the issues,

and you know what?
I'm being thanked for it.

-I think you're being naive.
-Naive?

Yes, now that you have
this important time slot,

you're going to have
to toe the party line.

I heard they're starting
to ask their anchors

to read editorials on the air
that push a far-right agenda.

No, no, no, no. You know what?
The -- The network brass and I

have already had that
discussion, and I shut it down.

There is no way
that's going to happen.

I'm the independent guy.
-Okay, okay.

Maybe I'm wrong.
I hope I am.

Now, would you please
let this freshly-minted

prime time superstar
buy you all lunch?

-[ Laughs ]
-Love it!

That was
a rare pleasure.

No cockroaches lurking
in the corners,

no rotting chicken
in the walk-in freezer.

Oh, the things I've seen.

I don't eat
at restaurants anymore.

Might as well just
lick a sewer grate.

♪♪

Good morning,
everyone.

We're here at the 14th Street
Animal Shelter

in Washington, D.C.,
and we want to encourage

everyone out there
to adopt, not shop.

With me is my co-anchor,
Murphy Brown.

This place
is off-the-leash.

Also with us, Maha Bijan,
the shelter director.

Good morning, Maha.

Tell us a bit about
where we are.

Well, this is Washington's
most crowded shelter.

We have rooms full
of dogs and cats

that need loving homes.

Would you like
to meet some of them?

Absolutely.
How about you, Murphy?

Oh, yeah, sure.

Uh, okay.

Well, this little beauty
is Gisele.

Named after
the supermodel.[ Laughs ]

And what about
this handsome guy?

His name
is Cary Grant.

Oh, I bet
I know why.

His black and white fur
makes him look like

he's wearing
a tuxedo.

Now, who wouldn't want
a companion

who's always
award show ready, huh?

Oh, he's wagging his tail.
I think he likes you.

Yeah,
I get that a lot.

So, why are there these
big letter E's

over some
of the kennels?

The "E"
is for Euthanasia.

It means that the animal has
been here for a long time

or is difficult
to place.

Wait a minute.

Are you saying that
these animals

are going to be
put down?

What kind of a death factory
are you running here, lady?

Murphy,

this is
why we're here.

Shelters don't
have space

for all these
beautiful creatures.

Dogs that can't find homes,
unfortunately,

are put to sleep.

670,000 of them
a year.

What?
That is outrageous.

I mean, Cary Grant
can't be put down.

He's wearing a tuxedo,
and he likes me.

Well, you know,
Murphy,

you could do your part
by taking a dog home.

Ah.
Think about the pride you'd feel,

knowing that
you saved a life.

You.
Murphy Brown.

Y-You know what?

I'm -- I'm gonna
do it.

But if I'm going to do it,
I'm going to reallydo it.

I would like you to give me
the next dog up on death row.

It would be
an honor.

Ah!

Isn't this exciting,
America?

This is such a wonderful thing
that Murphy's doing...

Yeah.
...and on live television.

How do you feel?

I feel pretty good.

In fact, I feel great.
[ Laughs ]

[ Squeaking ]

What's that
squeaking sound?

Uh, just --
Uh, w-what is that?

Maha:
This is number 256.

His chances were so low,

I couldn't bring myself
to name him.

Congratulations,
Murphy.

This is your dog.

Oh.

And I'm Corky Sherwood,
reporting alongside

new dog owner,
Murphy Brown.

A true American hero.

Over to you in
the studio, Frank. Oh...

♪♪

[ Television playing
indistinctly ]What? I've got my curry.

You've got your own food

in that nice new bowl
in the kitchen.

Ugh, let's just go
into the kitchen...[ Television turns off ]

...and put some of this
in your bowl.

[ Wheels squeaking ]

Hello.

It's me,

Mr. Prime Time
Avery Brown.

Oh, is that chicken curry?
That's perfect on a cold night.

-[ Sighs ]
-Oh, you're back.

Hey.
I've got something to tell you.

Oh, yeah, me, too.

I settled on my first topic
for my first prime-time episode.

So, my team and I --

I've got a team now...[ Chuckles ]

...we decided to cover
the "hardening" of our schools,

you know, whether or not
teachers should

carry firearms
in the classrooms.

Excellent choice.
Timely and important.

Yeah, what did you want
to tell me?

Well, we broadcast from
an animal shelter this morning.

You were at
an animal shelter?

[ Chuckles ] That's like Pence
being at a gay wedding.

And I adopted a dog.

[ Silverware clatters ]

We got a dog?

Did we get a dog?

We got a dog?
We got a dog?!

Is it here?
Where is it?!

Is it a boy or a girl?
Don't tell me.

I just
want to see him.[ Wheels squeaking ]

Come on. Here you go.

256, meet
your brother, Avery.

Avery, this is 256.
There you go.

I love him.
[ Laughs ]

I love him!
Hi!

Oh, thank you so much!
What the hell?

We got a dog?
[ Laughs ]

-Hi, hi, hi!
-Now that you're nearing 30

and you have
your own TV show,

I thought you could handle
the responsibility.

Okay, yes, aren't you
a handsome boy!

What's his name, really?
What's 256?

256 is what they called him
in the shelter

before I saved his life.

I'm an American hero,
you know. Mm.

We got to give you
a proper name like, um...

Uber. No.
Scooter.

No.

You know what
I'm gonna call him?

Your responsibility.

You're gonna make sure
that he's fed

and walked
and taken care of.

That's totally fine.
I got to leave for Texas

first thing in the morning.
We've got a lot of prep to do

before our first show
on Monday,

but I can probably
be back, uh,

to walk him
on Tuesday.

What?!
I work, too, you know.

What am I supposed to do
while you're gone?

Oh, we'll figure it out.
Come on.

This is the greatest day ever.
We got a new family member.

Come on,
Mario Andretti!

Too many syllables.
I'll make it work.

Come on.
I want to show you my room.

[ Wheels squeaking ]

Oh, that's right.

Hang on.
Hang on.

You know what, Mom?
We got to get a stair chair.

And more yard!
We're gonna have to move.

[ Elevator bell dings,
telephone ringing ]

Oh, geez.

[ Elevator bell dings ]

Come on.

It's called
an elevator.

You get on, you get off.
You just got off.

Look who's here!

Murphy, you didn't tell me
you were meeting

with the head of the
Hot Wheels Club today!

Does he have a name?Well, I was
pushing for FDR,

but I got vetoed.

Aww, what a cutie!

[ Baby voice ]
Who's a good boy?!

You know, Corky, you have such
a natural rapport with animals.

How would you like
to take care of him

for the next few days
'til Avery gets back?

You know what?
I'd love to,

but I already have a dog
and three cats.

Murphy, we're not allowed
to have dogs in the studio.

Look, Miles, I can't
leave him home.

What if he blows a tire?

He can call
Roadside Assistance.

You can make an exception.
He has a disability.

And I am
an American hero.

Wow, you actually
adopted the dog.

I assumed it was
a publicity stunt.

Pat! You're a vegan.
You like animals.

How would you like to take
this little beauty

for the next few days?

You know, I would,

but in my culture,
we believe animals contain

the spirits of
our dead ancestors,

and I can just feel
my grandfather inside him

rolling around in his
wheelchair, biting people.

I can't relive that.

Nice try, Pat.

Okay, fine.

My building
doesn't allow dogs.Not buying it.

I live in a fifth
floor walk-up!You do not.

Fine!
I'm a compulsive liar!

Is that the kind of person you
want taking care of your dog?

-Where is the dog?
-I was just in my office.

For some
strange reason,

it smelled like curry.

I looked around, and then
right in front of my desk,

I see a nice, big,
steaming pile of poop!

Are you saying
my dog did it?

Because Andy in accounting
is not your biggest fan.

There were tread marks!

Hello, and welcome to
"Avery Brown's America"

in our brand-new
10:00 P.M. time slot.

We are coming to you
live from

High Plains Elementary School
in Lubbock, Texas.

Now, Texas is one of
our most gun-friendly states,

so where better to discuss
the controversial idea

of bringing weapons and military
tactics into our classrooms?

Local area teachers
share their thoughts.

Avery: Now, Lisa, you're
a veteran teacher, right?

How's all this
sitting with you?

Not so good.

Teaching junior high
is hard enough.

You don't want to make me
stand all day

inside a cloud of Axe Body Spray
and also hold a gun.

Even if you were getting paid
more money to do it?

The president said he'd pay
teachers extra for gun training.

I could use
the money.

Look.

I'm a retired Marine,

and I've spent a lot of time
around guns,

and I can tell you that even
with the best training,

most shooters only hit their
targets one out of 10 times.

And what about you,
Barbara?

You've been a music teacher
your entire career.

I'm guessing you would not
like to see arts programs

cut back in order
to finance guns?

Well, they wouldn't have
to buy me a gun.

I've got my own.

And if a shooter came
into my classroom,

all I'd need to do
is grab my glasses.

Oh, no.
These are my readers.

Probably left my other glasses
in the car again.

Then I'd have
to load my gun.

I keep the bullets
in my desk drawer.

Or did I move them
to the locker?

Anyway, once I find them
it's only a minute

to load up
and then, pow!

You chose the wrong
classroom, bad guy!

Okay.

I think we're gonna take
a quick commercial break.

You are watching
"Avery Brown's America"

in prime time.

And we're clear.
Back in 60 seconds.

Rachel: Avery, this was
fantastic.

-Oh, great.
-Couldn't have gone better.

Management called in
a few minutes ago

and gave you
a big thumbs-up.

They said when Haggerty goes
on vacation next month,

you'll be filling in
for him.

At 9:00 --
the crown jewel slot.

Wow, Rachel, that's --[ Chuckles ]

That's huge.
Yeah.

-That's great.
-They just have one suggestion.

Yeah.
Instead of your usual closing thoughts,

they want you to read
something they wrote.

They wrote something?

Yeah, it's good.
It's fine.

You know what? I think there's
been a miscommunication,

because I've already had
this discussion with the brass,

and they know I'm
the lone wolf on the network.

Yeah, in the morning, but in
the 10:00 P.M. slot,

nationwide prime time,
right after John Haggerty,

the greatest lead-in
in cable news,

they want you to read
what they wrote.

Everybody's agreed
to do it.

So they basically
lied to me. Come on, Avery.

You're running with
the big dogs now,

and there are
certain expectations.

Yeah, but --
Look, it's on the teleprompter.

Just read it.

Don't blow
this huge opportunity.

Stage Manager: Coming back live
in three, two...

An interesting thing about news
is how quickly it spreads

and how often it's not
only incorrect, but also...

fake.

Many news sources
hide their bias

by burying it deep
within stories.

That's why
you should question

whatever
the mainstream...

media...

No, I can't do it.

You know what?

You should question whatever
the Wolf Network tells you,

because they will feed you
any amount of BS

that you are willing
to believe.

See, here at Wolf,
we don't care about facts.

All we care about at Wolf

is shilling for
this current administration.

You know what? Actually, you
guys would save a lot of money

by firing your so-called
journalists

and just bringing out
a ventriloquist's dummy,

sitting it right there
on the knee of the President

and just letting him reel off
whatever he wants you to hear.

You know, I stuck with
this place because...

...God, I thought I could change
the culture around here,

but believe me --
I can't.

That's not gonna happen,

not unless you out there
get up off your couch

and you let
the powers-that-be know

that you are not
gonna take it anymore.

This is Avery Brown signing off,
taking my soul with me.

[ Microphone thuds ]

Wow.

You're not the only one
who won't roll over.

He's gonna really need you
when he gets home tomorrow,

so, for God's sake, don't take
a dump in his room tonight.

♪♪

How about that?
All the way around the block,

and not one
moving violation.

-Hey.
-You're back from Texas.

Mm-hmm.

Listen, before you use
what happened to me

as some kind of
teachable moment,

let me just put it
out there and say

congratulations,
you were right.

And this is one time

I take absolutely
no pleasure in it.

They put you in
an impossible situation,

and you did the only thing
you could.

You mean I took
an amazing opportunity

and just shoved it down
the garbage disposal? Yes.

But an opportunity with that
many strings attached

is not worth it.
Come on.

I mean, I went off the rails
on live television.

That kind of thing could
follow me around forever.

First of all,
in our business,

there is
no forever anymore,

and if half the people
think you're nuts,

the other half think
you're a hero,

so how about that?

Two American heroes
under one roof

and their mascot, 256.

Yeah, some hero.

I'm unemployed,
I live with my mother,

my dog has wheels.

Yes, but in
a noble way.

Like a champion.
Like he's driving a chariot.

Like Ben-Hur.
[ Laughs ]

Hey, wait. That's -- That's
actually pretty good.

Ben-Hur Brown.
Benny Brown!

[ Barks ]

I think he likes it.[ Laughs ]

Either that or
Timmy's down a well.

Come on, Benny.
Let's go get something to eat.

You know,
I think I saw

some leftover Indian food
in the fridge.

Oh, no!
My rugs!

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

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