All language subtitles for Murphy Brown s11e03 MurphyToo.eng

♪♪

Murphy:
And, lastly, this reminder --

cold and flu season
is approaching,

so get your shots,

pull out
your heavy winter coats,

and, Ruth Bader Ginsburg,
stay away from drafts, please.

♪♪

And we're clear.

And guess what, people?

It's Sexual Harassment
Seminar Day.

[ Groans ]

Everybody clear
your browser histories.

Don't act surprised.

You all got the memo.

We're a new show,

and the seminar
is mandatory.

And as you all know,

you can't spell "mandatory"
without "man,"

so hope you guys
learn a lot.

Bye.

Frank: Murphy's right.

Some of us
don't need to be here.

Let's head over to Phil's.

I could eat
a whole chicken.

Julius,
block the elevator.

-Hey, hey, hey!
-Ohh!

-Miles!
-Are you kidding?

This is my first
sexual-harassment seminar.

Today, I am a man.

A fully employed man!

Can't we at least
do it fast?

We already know everything
they're gonna tell us.

Good morning, Miles.

Monica. Hi.

Your...research on

the ramifications
of the tax cuts

was really...spectacular.

Thank you so much.

I really love working in
the research department here,

and I love the show.

You run it so well.

Well, I have a great team
with great people on it,

like you.

Miles!

Murphy,
can't you see I'm having

a conversation
with a co-worker?

Oh, it's okay.

I'll just take my seat.

What do you want,
Murphy?

I just wanted
to say that

I love working on this network
with you, too.

All right!

Settle down, people.

I need you --

It was Dennis.

There's no one here
named Dennis.

Anyway, please welcome
Brandon Jensen,

who will be leading us
in the seminar.

Brandon?

Brandon:
Morning, everyone.

I'm here today to talk to you
about sexual harassment.

Yes! Whoo! Preach!

Yes.
You think you know it all.

But certain high-profile
harassment cases

have started
important conversations

about gender
and power dynamics

in the workplace.

Topple the patriarchy!

Yes, I get it.
You're woke.

For those who aren't,

even a seemingly
innocent comment

about a co-worker's attire

can constitute harassment.

Well, I'm sorry,

but if Frank wears
another deep V-neck again,

I'm commenting.Frank: Hey. Hey.

There's always somebody like you
in the crowd.

Thank you, Murphy,
for providing an example

of the kind of comment
that could get you fired.

Hello.

The show's called
"Murphy in the Morning."

They're not firing me.

Do the names Matt Lauer,
Charlie Rose,

and Bill O'Reilly
ring any bells?

[ All murmuring ]

And that's why,

even if you think

you're just complimenting
a co-worker

on her lovely,
figure-hugging dress

that showcases
her ample bosom,

you have to shut it down
in your mind

'cause it's wrong

and could result in
your demotion at work

and a painful separation
from your wife of 17 years.

So, I think that
just about wraps it up.

Miles:
I have a question.

[ All groan ]

I-If a hypothetical executive

on a program
like this --

but not this --

was interested
in an employee

and if said executive
might be getting signals

from that
aforementioned person,

would he be allowed
to invite that person

to a hypothetical dinner?

Asking for a friend.

Is it the woman
in the second row?

No!

I'll repeat myself.

Any sexual advances,
welcome or unwelcome,

toward any subordinates
are unacceptable.

And with that, I'd like
to thank you all for your --

[ Applause ]

Corky:
Oh, thank God!

I've had to pee
for over an hour!

Frank:
When I was growing up,

it was so easy to know
what was right and wrong.

If you did something bad,
your father slapped you.

If you did something
really bad,

the priest slapped you.

Sometimes
he tried to kiss you,

but the slap really
drove that point home.

Pat: I-I think
I can help you, Frank.

I have been developing an app
to help old --

to help men of a certain age

navigate the ever-changing
landscape of gender politics.

If it's successful,

I could sell it
and retire at 24.

I call it...
App-ropriate Behavior.

[ Laughs ]

That's clever!

So, the way it works is

it monitors your speech
for certain word combinations,

and if you cross a line,

it sends a warning
in the form of

a small vibration
to your phone.

And you designed this
yourself?

Do you ever sleep?

I function on very little,

like dolphins, bullfrogs,
and bees.

Now, the app is still
in its beta stage,

but are you down
to test it for me?

If it'll help me keep
all these rules straight,

why not?

Cool! I'll send the app
to your phone.

In the meantime,
put my phone in your pocket

and say something inappropriate
to me.

Uh...

Uh, all right.
Just a se-- Um...

Okay. Uh...

I could get lost
in your deep...

brown eyes.

[ Cellphone vibrates ]

Oh, wow!

I felt that!
Yes!

And thank you.
[ Chuckles ]

♪♪

♪♪

Miguel, you chopped up
all the limes?

That was fast.

Are you kidding?

This is easy.

I worked on
my parents' food truck.

Try handling a knife
at 55 miles an hour.

You know, it takes
six members of my family

to fill out a glove.

Can I get some more ice,
please?

What's that?Ice.

[ Clattering ]

Miguel,
what is your problem?

I'm sorry.

It's just "ice" is kind of
a trigger word for me.

Okay.

Um, everyone, listen up.

Miguel here is DACA,

and he has a thing
about the word I-C-E,

so from now on,

we are gonna call these

"frozen cubes of water,"
or "FCWs."

Well, that was
a total waste of time.

I mean, it could have
all been boiled down

in one little sentence --

"Don't be a creep."

End of seminar.[ Sighs ]

And there are
so many creeps out there.

Once when I was
out shopping,

a man came up and asked

if he could make
a music video --

starring my toes.

Weirdest thing
I've ever heard!

Another time,

a man came up
and asked for my autograph.

Then he opened his coat.

That's disgusting.

I mean, what kind of a guy
would --

Are we talking
about men?

I have only
one thing to say --

four husbands,

and not one of them
could find the spot.

Look,
I don't know any woman

who hasn't had
an "experience."

Right, Murphy?
Hmm?

Murph?

Well, I mean, yeah.

What guy
would be stupid enough

to try anything
with me?

[ Both laugh ]

Oh, look, Miles.
Your girlfriend's walking in.

I told you
it's hypothetical.

Hi, everybody.

I-I hope
I'm not interrupting anything.

But, Miles,
I just wanted to let you know

I'm almost
finished researching

the side effects of
so-called miracle drugs.

I've gotten through
antidepressants

and beta-blockers,

and all I have left
is erectile dysfunction.

Well, keep it up.

I mean, keep me abreast.

Mayday!

[ Chuckles ]

You're so funny.

Anyway, everybody,
enjoy your lunch.

Hey.

I see why you're
so tongue-tied around her.

She's smart
and very attractive.

[ Cellphone vibrates ]Ow!

Geez. That one
had a real kick to it.

The app hears all.

♪♪

[ Door opens ]

Hey! Guess who's back
from America's heartland.

Hey, honey.

I got a ton of
great interviews

tailgating
at Notre Dame.

By noon, I was high on
Kingsford charcoal fumes.

[ Chuckles ]

The, uh, flight back
was interesting.

Mm.

A woman brought
a, uh, python on board

as an emotional-support
animal.

It ate a small child.

Is that so?

Trump shot Bob Mueller
on Fifth Avenue.

Huh.

Okay. What's going on?

Oh, I'm sorry.

I'm -- I'm just sorting
my Bed Bath & Beyond coupons

by expiration date,

not that they ever
really expire.

Most people
don't know that,

and they throw them away.

And it's like throwing away
a brand-new toaster.

Mom, something's up.

What is it?
Nothing.

[ Scoffs ]
Wasted half a day

at some stupid
sexual-harassment seminar.

Yeah, we had ours
last week.

Except, at the Wolf Network,
it's not "Me Too,"

it's "How To."

Okay, you never
miss an opportunity to trash-talk Wolf.

Spill it.

[ Exhales sharply ]

It's just that it brought up
a few memories.

That's all.

Such as?

Oh, this is not
a conversation

I'm going to have
with my son.

Come on, Mom.
We can talk about anything.

At least that's what
you've always told me.

Well,
this might shock you,

but at 19, I was not
the Murphy Brown I am today.

And I had a professor
in college who was --

I am sohungry,

and I've got
this Olive Garden coupon.

Let's go get something --Mom, the professor in college.

Keep going.

[ Sighs ]

Professor Talbot.

He was so smart,
so passionate.

When he took notice of you,
it meant something,

and he took notice of me.

They've got
a broccoli cheddar soup --

Mom.

[ Sighs deeply ]

He said I was brilliant,

that I was destined
for great things,

and, uh,
by the end of the year,

I won a national award.

It was the Collegiate Reporter
of the Year.

It was my first award
ever.

There was a ceremony.

[ Clears throat ]

He invited me
to his house afterward,

and I assumed
there would be other people.

There weren't.

And something happened.
That's it.

Did you tell anybody?[ Chuckling ] No.

I put it in a drawer
in the back of my brain

and moved on.

I mean, that's what we did
in those days.

It was
a different time.

Mom,
he was your teacher.

You were a teenager.

Whatever he did to you,
you didn't want it.

Well, I-I keep going over it
in my mind.

When he would ask me
for coffee,

I would say yes.

When he gave me
small gifts --

a-a book, a special pen --

I would accept them.

Maybe in some way,

I was sending a signal
that I was interested.

You know
what you're doing?

You're victim-blaming.[ Laughs ]

I am nota victim, okay?

Oh, God,
this is so complicated.

What about with you,
Avery?

When you're on the road,

you must find yourself
in so many situations.

Yeah.
I mean, I-I do, but...

I was raised right.

I wouldn't pursue anyone
who works for me,

and I ask before I initiate
any physical contact.

So, I guess Bogart
should have said to Bergman,

"Here's looking at you, kid,

unless that makes you
uncomfortable,

in which case...

I apologize."

[ Chuckles ]

Maybe it's
a little awkward, sure,

or maybe
it's less romantic,

but I would never
want to make somebody

feel the way you do
right now.

Mom...

...that guy worked
at gaining your trust.

He singled you out.

He made you feel special.

He was grooming you.

♪♪

Murphy:
You know, Phyllis, I could really use a cup of coffee.

Don't they have coffee for free
at your office? Yeah.

But I-I just have a craving
for your special brew.

Okay.

I know my coffee's
not that good --

not even yesterday
when I made it.

You know,
I really miss Phil.

He always gave
the best advice.

Oh, boy. Here we go.

You want to talk.

And I thought
cleaning the men's room

was gonna be
the worst part of this job.

Why can't they hit
a target that big?

So, you and I
are about the same age, right?

Not talking.

And we're from
the same era,

so I think
you'd understand.

Understand what?

Oh, no. I engaged.

We're talking.

It's about "Me Too."

You, too?

Me, too.

Me, too.

You, too?
Yeah.

I-I had an experience in college
with a mentor.

It was somewhere between
Harvey Weinstein

and the guy
on the subway

with the mirrors
on his shoes.

We both know what it was like
back then.

We flattered egos,
laughed at lousy jokes,

and if something happened,
we didn't talk about it.

In those days,
it wasn't sexual harassment.

It was a bad date.

Well, I thought
it didn't affect me,

but I'm suddenly feeling
that it did,

and I don't know
what to do about it.

Is this mentor
still around?

Yeah.Then it's not too late.

You go see him.

You take a deep breath.

You have
a civilized discussion,

and then you clock him
in the nuts.

Remind me
to never undertip you.

Here's a thought.

I bet you weren't
the only one.

So do it
for all the others --

the ones
that don't have your voice

and the ones
he might still do it to.

That's what I would say...

if I was giving advice...

which I am not.

You know, I think I have
a bit of a drive ahead of me,

and I'm gonna
need this coffee to go.

And, Phyllis,
I know you like to think

you're bad
at this giving-advice thing,

but you're not.

Tell no one.

♪♪

[ Knock on door ]

Oh, my God.
You're Murphy Brown.

Yeah, that's right,

and I need to see
Professor Talbot.

Yes, certainly. Come in.

Um, I'm Jessica.

I'm Professor Talbot's
assistant.

I used to be in his class.

He talked about Murphy Brown
all the time.

Did he, now?

He'll be so thrilled
you're here.

Uh, follow me.

Murphy: "Collegiate Reporter
of the Year --

Murphy Brown."
Yes.

He shows it off
to every visitor.

Hm.

It was so wonderful of you
to give it to him.

Give it to him?
Yeah, right.

I'll take you
to his study.

Oh, boy.

Lot of memories, huh?Oh, yeah.

Seriously?

I don't have that much
Murphy Brown stuff

hanging in my house,

and I have a lot!

Jessica:
[ Chuckles ]

I'll send him in.

Uh, Jessica, wait.

How long have you been
in this job?

This is my third week.

How old are you?

19.

That's the same age
I was.

Um...

if, for any reason,

you ever want
to leave this job,

call me.

My network's always looking
for young smart people.

Murphy Brown!

Is it really you?

God, you're old!

Yeah.

Time has a way
of doing that to you.

I always
held this image of you.

Wonderful to see you,
Murphy.

You know,
I tried reaching out to you

several times
over the years

to speak at one
of my classes, but...

[ chuckles ]

...I could never get through
your secretaries.

Then, uh, I guess
you're wondering why I'm here.

I wanted to talk about
the night I won that award.

Do -- Do you remember
that night?

I do.

Good.

Do you remember
inviting me here

for a celebration party
after,

except there was
no party?

You kept filling my glass
with champagne.

Your hand kept finding its way
to my thigh.

You kissed me.
I tried to pull away.

You pinned me down
right there on that couch.

I pushed you off,

and I got
the hell out of here.

Ah.

You were always
a great storyteller, Murphy.

But this one
tops them all.

What? Is this about
the "Me Too" movement?

Women dredging up
the past...

pointing fingers,
ruining reputations?

You made me doubt
myself.

I always wondered
if I deserved that praise

or if you had singled me out
for your own reasons.

You know
what really happened?

You'd been flirting with me,
shamelessly, for months.

And I tried
to stay professional,

but that night,

you were sending out
such strong signals.

I was sending out
nothing!

I ran out of this house
shaking.

I was so upset,
I forgot my award,

and I love awards.

What do you want from me,
Murphy?

The truth...
and an apology.

Apology?

Well, I would have thought
you came here to thank me

for opening up
your world.

Everything you've accomplished,
Murphy, was because of me.

I accomplished everything
in spite of you,

you weak, miserable excuse
for a man.

I'm leaving now.

Only this time,
I'm not running.

I came here
to get closure, and...

I just figured out
how I'm going to get it.

What are you doing?

[ Glass shatters ]

[ Door opens, slams ]

Frank: [ Grunting ]

I can't be your guinea pig
anymore, Pat!

You've got to take this app
off my phone.

Every zap gets stronger.

I smell flesh.

Okay, so,
maybe it has a few bugs.

[ Sighs heavily ]

Hi, Frank.

Oh, no.

[ Cellphone vibrates ]Owwww!

Dah!

I didn't even say anything!That's amazing!

It's learning
your blood pressure and pulse patterns!

I'm rich!

Get it off!

Phyllis, I need ice.

Phyllis: What?
Ice!

And then there was the time
I was at Gumboland,

and the mascot,
Jambalaya Jimmy,

pulled down his shorts

and showed me
his little shrimp.

Oh, God, Corky!

Stop!
I can't take it anymore!

I'm not even through
my 20s yet.

Hey, Miles,
can I talk to you for a sec?

Uh, sure.

Well, I just want to say

that I've had
such a great experience

working on
"Murphy in the Morning,"

but I got an offer
from another network

to actually run
their whole research department.

I hope you understand.

Wait, you don't
work for me anymore?

Great!

Congratulations
on the new job!

I'm so happy for me!

I mean "you."

I mean -- I mean,
can I take you out to dinner

to celebrate
the good news?

I'd love that.

Call me.

I have a confession to make.

It wasn't hypothetical.

[ Gasps ]

Avery:
I am so proud of you, Mom.

No police investigation,

no severed head
in your tote bag.

You are showing
real growth. Yeah.

But am I losing my edge?

Phyllis:
So, how was your trip?

I'm just
asking casually

on behalf
of women everywhere.

Well, it didn't go
exactly as planned,

but it's done.

And here's
a little piece of myself

I finally took back.

"Collegiate Reporter
of the Year -- Murphy Brown."

You know, you might want
to clear some room soon

for all the awards
that I'm gonna win.

Avery, I've had space cleared
since you were 10.

But for now, this baby
gets front and center.

And, Phyllis,
this is for you.

It makes
an excellent nutcracker,

if you get my drift.

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

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