All language subtitles for Murphy Brown s11e02 I Dont Heart Huckabee.eng

♪♪

So, that's our show.
Thanks for watching

"Murphy in the Morning,"
and remember,

if we can get up this early,

so can you.

♪♪

And we're clear.[ Groans, sighs ]

I must've been
out of my mind

to agree to do
another morning show.

My internal clock
is so off,

I never know
what time it is.

You think you're the only one
having trouble adjusting?

I'll never meet a woman
working these crazy hours.

You know, Frank, you should
try that dating app

Silver Singles.

I hear that
if you swipe left,

it means
you're not interested,

but if you swipe right,

it means you can
drive after dark.

Great show,
everyone!

Really, Murphy?
Pajamas again?

Consider yourself
lucky, Miles.

I heard that in the last
few years of his show,

Charlie Rose
didn't even wear pants.

You know,

maybe you should set your
alarm a few minutes early

so you're not in such
a rush in the morning.

I schedule my time
so that I can grab

every last possible
ounce of sleep.

I brush my teeth
in the car,

I spit out the window
on Wisconsin Avenue,

which was a blue state
that turned red,

so it's also
kind of a statement.

Guys, guys.

Quick reminder, with all
these high-tech monitors,

you may not always realize
when you're on the air.

So, try to keep the open-mouth
yawning to a minimum.

Frank.

Why are you
singling me out?

A viewer tweeted
this screenshot at 7:30 a.m.

You should really be
brushing your tongue, Frank.

Look at
the bright side.

Your social-media presence
has expanded

across all platforms.

Just a matter of time
before you can monetize that.

Really?
How much we talking about?

Enough to keep you
from stealing

those little boxes of cereal
from the break room.

You know, I didn't say
anything when you took

that case
of printer paper

or the batteries
out of the remotes.

But touch
my Froot Loops,

and you and I
have a problem.

I don't know
if I like that kid.

Get used to him.
Without Pat,

none of this works.

And he showed me how to block
my parents on Facebook.

So, who's up for Phil's?
My treat.

What's the occasion?No occasion.

I'm just thrilled that
we're all back together again,

and I love my new condo
at the Watergate.

Though the other day,

I misplaced my keys
and had to...

break in.

Come on.

Oh, guys, I'll be with you
in two minutes.

I just have some copy changes
to make for tomorrow.[ Elevator bell dings ]

[ Telephone rings ]

[ Slurring ]
Ms. Brown,

I'm Addie Abrams,
your new assistant.

H-How did I know you were
going to say that?

And do I detect
the unmistakable aroma

of last night's
tequila?

You just got a call
from a guy named...

Arnie. Ernie.
Andy?

His voice
was super loud.

I think
he'll call back.

Also, there was
another call

from a woman...

about a thing...

...from a country.
Oh.

It's big.

They're into
sauerkraut.

Germany?!

Angela Merkel
returned my call?

That's it.

I'm gonna need you to be
a little quieter.

[ Coughs ]
Oh!

No.
False alarm.

Anyone got any gum?

♪♪

Phyllis:
So, Miguel Gonzales,

you are interested in
the exciting, fast-paced world

of the restaurant business.

You know how
to put out a grease fire?

[ Laughs ] My parents
run a food truck,

so believe me,
I've seen it all.

And I see
you're in college.

You kids, you love your
beer pong and toga parties.

How do I know
you'll show up for work?

I need the money.

I have a scholarship,
but [clicks tongue]

it doesn't
cover everything.

I still have to pay for things
like books, meals,

the border wall.

Oh, great, so you guys
aregonna pay for that?

Not that I want it.
I just don't want to pay for it.

We'll climb
over it anyway.

But not me
'cause I'm DACA.

So, you're a Dreamer?
Me too...

as in I never dreamed
I'd be doing this.

What,
talking to a Mexican?

No.
Running a restaurant.

I inherited this place
from my late brother.

As it turns out, I'm not
a natural behind the bar.

People sit down
and unload.

They got fired,
their mistress got a lawyer,

they're under indictment
for collusion with a foreign government.

Please.

I have my own problems.

I can tell.

Your ketchups
are unmarried.

What?

Your ketchup bottles,
they're half-empty.

But if you marry them
at night when you close up...

...next day, it's like you have
brand-new bottles.

So, you put them together
every night?

'Cause I was married four times,
and that's not really

a fair representation
of what happens.

[ Pounding on door ]

This better not be
the health inspector.

We're closed!
Come back at 11:00.

-Hey, Phyllis!
-Hey, hey, hey!

For crying out loud,

LeBron would have
an easier time

getting into
Mar-a-Lago.

We're starving.
-Come on.

Fine, fine, but you have to take
your own chairs off the tables,

and, uh, you might have
to marry some ketchups.

It's not as fun
as it sounds.

All right, look alive.

Those dishes aren't
gonna wash themselves.

They haven't in
the last four days, anyway.

Thanks.
You won't regret this.

Phyllis.

How's
the shrimp gumbo?

Tastes a lot like
the burger.

Looks a lot
like it, too.

[ Knock on door ]Murphy: Oh, my God,

the nerve
of some people.

Don't they know
you're closed?[ Door opens ]

I'm gonna start
adding a cover charge.

[ Chuckles ]
Hi, Phyllis.

There you are.All: Hey!

Well, look
who it is --

our morning-show
competition.

You can sit with us,
but just this once.

Yeah, we don't usually
mingle with people

from The Wolf Network.[ Chuckles ]

Especially when their
ratings are getting

a little too close
to ours. [ Chuckles ]

It seems like just yesterday
I was changing your diaper.

Well, in a few years,
Uncle Frank,

I'll be happy
to return the favor.

Dude.
Dude.

Dude!
Hey!

So, how's
everything going?

How are things over at
the old Wolf Network,

or as I like
to call it,

the Ministry
of Propaganda?

Yes, everything
is just fine, thank you.

They're still playing nice
with their token liberal,

but get this --
so, as I've been doing my show,

I've been
all over the country

and I've gotten a real earful
from a lot of people

about a bunch of topics,
and I started thinking,

"Why shouldn't
the average American

be able
to be represented

in the White House
Press Briefing room?"

So, I pitched
the idea to Wolf,

and they gave me their seat
at tomorrow's press conference.

No, they didn't.So great!

You're kidding!
Oh, my gosh.

Try to contain
your excitement, Mother.

I am excited
for you.

I -- This is a huge step
in your career.

It's just that with this
particular White House,

press briefings are
a colossal waste of time.

Mm.

You sure you're not saying
that because

you've been banned
from the White House?

Again?

For getting into a Twitter war
with the president.

It was a series
of verbal skirmishes...

...which I won.

[ Laughs ]

You can joke about it,
but we're a new show,

and we are at
a real disadvantage

not having a presence
in that briefing room.

It hurts
our credibility.

Miles, there's no point
in going over this.

She's never gonna
get back into that room.

Hey, if I wanted to,
I could.

Oh, good luck
with that.

I hear they're selling
"wanted" posters of you

in the White House
gift shop.

[ Chuckles ]

You know, if I did
get back in there,

I would ask a question

that would blow the roof
off that place.

Easy to say
when you can't get

underthe roof
to ask it.

So, Avery, what is this question
you're gonna ask

tomorrow
at the White House?

Well, the number-one issue

for most of the people
that I've talked to

is the cost
of healthcare,

so I'm gonna ask
what the government is doing

to bring down prices
of prescription drugs.

That's an excellent
question,

but do you think
you're going to get

"the government" to give you
a straight answer?

And how do you know
Sarah Huckabee Sanders

will even
call on you?

Oh, she'll call on me.

What is that weird
twinkle thing

you're doing
with your eye?

I just ran into her a lot
on the campaign trail,

and we developed
a kind of, uh, rapport.

[ Gasps ]

Are you saying
she has a crush on you?

I'm not
saying anything.

But she did call me last night
to tell me she likes my show.

-Sarah?!
-Huckabee Sanders?!

Do you know what room
she called from?

D-Did you hear
any ambient sound?

Splashing water,

sound of a loofah

gently exfoliating
a comely shoulder?

Oh, my God, Miles,

are you fantasizing about
Sarah Huckabee Sanders?

[ Quietly ]
Occasionally.

I have a thing
for domineering women.

It started with
my Hebrew school teacher,

Estelle Fink.

She had a smokey eye and a sneer
I found arousing at 13.

I-I've said too much.

Avery: Okay.

Well, I just stopped by
to share the news.

Mom, you can tune
into the briefing tomorrow

at the White House and
live through me vicariously.

Ha, ha.I'll see you, guys.

All right.Way to go, Avery.

Thanks.Good luck, buddy.

[ Door closes ]I could get back
into that room

if I wanted to.
I know people.

It wouldn't be
that hard.

White House
Communications Office?

Hi, this is Murphy Brown
calling for Don Fitzgerald.

Yes, of course
he knows me.

I need to renew
my press credentials.

Well, when was he fired?

Okay, then transfer me
to Denise West.

She quit?

Okay, uh, can you try
Clark Prescott?

In a shallow grave?

Well, how long do you
think youhave?

♪♪

This wig is working out
really well, Murphy.

I got it
from my cousin Jesse.

He owns a mortuary.

It'd be a sin
to bury a good wig.

I thought
I smelled formaldehyde.

It's called
Cadaver No. 5.

Okay.

Let's go over this
one more time.

The briefing starts
at 3:00 p.m.

on the dot.

At 2:45, Murphy approaches
the West Wing guard house

with the forged
credentials.

The guard
on duty is...?

Roy.
No.

It's Cliff.

Cliff!

Where did you
get Roy?Who knows?

Once you've got Cliff
all softened up,

you flash
your fake credentials

and you're
on your way.

We're all
on our way...

...to hell.

I can't believe you talked me
into doing this!

Trespassing on White House
grounds is a felony!

What kind of
executive producer am I?!

The small, sweaty kind
who makes everybody nervous.

Okay.

All clear outside.

Oh, wow.

I envy you, Murph.

There is nothing I love more
than going undercover.

I wish I could
put on a dress

and sneak into that
briefing room now.

You could, Frank.

You're still shaving
your legs, right?

Because I swim!

Just when everything in my life
was going so well,

now we're all gonna get
arrested and thrown in jail.

I'll be tried, sentenced,
put behind bars.

Next thing you know,
I'm Bernie Madoff's bitch!

Okay,
I've got it --

Murphy's fake
press credentials.

This is so cool!

I mean, if this van
comes with a futon

and a month's supply
of ramen,

I'm giving my six roommates
notice tonight.

Here you go.

Okay,
so I'm going undercover

as a reporter for...

Le Monde,
and my name is...

...Cosette Peugeot?

I knew
you spoke French, so...

Cosette,Frank?

Where did I get
my journalism degree?

The Jean Valjean Academy
of Stolen Bread?

And "Peugeot"?!

I don't know
a lot of French words!

You should be glad
I came up with "Peugeot."

You were almost
"Cosette Le Pew."

Time to go,
Murphy.

If you run into trouble,
we're right here.

And remember --
you're fully wired,

so we'll be able
to hear everything.

Including trapped gas,
full disclosure.

Go with God,
Cosette.

Au revoir.

Murphy: I'm coming up
to the guard house.

I don't see
anybody inside.

Are you serious? Wait.

There's a note
on the window.

It says...

"Back in five"?!

It's no time
for jokes, Murphy!

I'm not joking!

Oh, my God!

What is it?Is everything okay?

The gate's open.

Open?
What do you mean "open"?

I mean the opposite
of closed, Miles.

No guard,
and the gate is open.

This country
is so screwed.

♪♪

♪♪

Okay, I'm right outside
the briefing room.

Bonjour, monsieur.

J'espere que cette
arme n'est pas chargee.

All right,
it's au revoir,Cosette.

Sarah: As I've said repeatedly
on legal matters

dealing with
the Meuller investigation,

I refer you to the president's
outside counsel.

Next question.

[ Reporters shouting ]

I see we have
some new faces here today.

Avery, I look forward
to taking your question,

but, uh, I think I'll save
the best for last.

Welcome.

Next question.[ Reporters shouting ]

Fred.

Thanks for taking
my question.

[ Quietly ] You've got
to be kidding me.

Sarah:
A-Actually, I said "Fred."

[ Chuckles ]
That's so weird. I heard "Murphy."

Uh, I don't know
how you got in here,

but it's inappropriate.

[ Reporters shouting ]April.

Excuse me.

If you really want to talk
about what's inappropriate,

how about the way
you do your job?

-Uh-oh.
-Game on.

The role of the White House
Press Secretary

is to create transparency
in the government

and tell the American people
the truth,

but that's not what happens
in this room.

Whether it's about a meeting
with Russians in Trump Tower

or a made-up mandate
that requires separation

between parents and
their children at the border,

it all comes down
to the same thing,

so here's my question --

why do you lie?

[ Reporters gasping ]

I think that's an absolutely
ridiculous question.

-Wow.
-She used the "L" word.

Murphy:
And how demoralizing is it

for us to be called
the enemy of the people?

I mean, how do we
go back to our newspapers

and our magazines and
our networks knowing that

the most basic principle
of journalistic integrity --

to report the facts --

is totally out of reach?

If we can't
get to the truth,

why are we even here?

I say we get up
and walk out right now.

Let's show
this administration

we're not
gonna take it anymore.

Come on, let's go!

Look, I know a lot
of what I've said here

has to resonate with you.

I know a lot of you...

...personally.

Some better than others.

Maybe I don't know you
as well as I thought I did.

[ Camera shutters clicking ]

♪♪

[ Grunts ]

[ Sternly ]
Well, well, well.

You are
"well, well"-ing me?

[ Scoffs ] If anyone's
earned the right

to "well, well" today,
I have.

Iam the well-weller.

Of all the days
to crash the White House...

[ Bag thuds ]

...you pick my first
press briefing?

Way to go, Mom.
Don't worry.

There'll be others.No, that's not the point.

I didn't get
to ask my question.

After you left, she pretty much
shut the party down.

You know, when you get
an idea in your head,

you get so obsessed

that you become blind
to everything else --

logic, common sense,

maternal instinct --

out the window.

Somebody had to say
what everyone was thinking.

You should've
cheered me on... [ Sighs ]

...but you left me hanging there
with the rest of them,

the rest that
I didn't potty train.

What was I
supposed to do?!

Hitch up my short pants and
grab my mommy's apron strings?

You should have
backed me up.

You're my son.

You know,

it wasn't
always easy

growing up in the shadow
of the great Murphy Brown.

I need
to forge my own way.

When I am in that press room,
I am not your kid.

I am a reporter.
I am there to do a job --

to fight the good fight.

You know, a lot of those
reporters in there

probably agreed
with you today.

Hell, I agreed with you,

but if we all stormed out
in protest,

what would we
be left with?

The ones who drank
the Kool-Aid

and the president's
unhinged Twitter feed.

[ Sighs ]

"Journalists are
the only real firewall

between power-hungry
politicians

and the people
they're elected to serve."

Someone told me
that once.

Yeah, who?

Oh, I don't know.
Some French gal.

I want to say...

Culotte?

"Culotte"
is a French word

that means
"really ugly pants."

[ Sighs ]

Maybe you were right not
to follow me out that door,

and maybe...
[clears throat]

...I-I don't say this
very often, but...

...I-I'm sorry.

Pardon?

You're going to make me
say it again?

Just want to save it
for posterity.

Fine.

I'm sorry.

Sounded even better
the second time.

Scooch.

[ Buttons clicking ]

Murphy: [ Chuckles ]
Last time you ran away,

all you took was a Harry Potter
lunch box full of Go-Gurt.

I'm not running away.

I've got a flight
at 5:00 a.m. tomorrow.

I'm doing a remote to talk
to farmers about tariffs.

What, you really thought
I was moving out?

No!

No. [ Chuckling ] I mean,
you'd be crazy to.

Where else would you find
such cheap rent?

[ Laughs ]

Good night, Mom.

Murphy's voice: I'm sorry.
I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.
I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.
I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

How do you like
my new ringtone?

I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. I'm --

Hi, Sarah.

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0