Original subtitles

And so ends the day in the life of the women at Lexington Federal Penitentiary.

Jim? Thank you, Corky.

Interesting correlation, the remarkably high number of women on death row who

never joined a sorority.

To you, our viewers, thank you for joining us once again. This has been

edition of FYI. Good night.

And we're out. That's a wrap, everybody. Hell Week is officially over.

Man, what a week. Killer deadlines, guests bailing.

Everything that could go wrong did.

piece blew out halfway through my interview. Where are we getting our

these days? The home shopping network?

Guys, you got through it with flying colors.

It's weeks like this that push us to the wall, test everything we've got.

And when you come through it the way you did, well, what can I say?

Stunning effort, everybody.

Jimbo, Corsair, Frank Green.

I've asked you not to do that, Miles.

How many did you get?

Not that many.

Phone, Miles.

Here.

Probably his girlfriend.

She calls him after every show to tell him what a little stud man he is. Hurry

up, Miles. We don't want to go to Phil. And put this miserable week behind us.

I've never looked forward to the old watering hole more. I warn you, I may

against the light tonight. I don't care.

Gee, all of you had such a terrible week, and my story went so well. I feel

guilty.

You know what?

Phil's is on me.

Oh, that's right.

Oh, you're all coming?

Look at the little wiener. They're practically having sex on the phone.

I bet he's telling her his SAT scores again.

Come on, everybody. Let's go.

Hold it, everybody. It's not a wrap yet. We've got one more thing to do.

Oh, no.

That was New York.

Connie Chung got hung up in traffic, and there's no one to do the national news

break. They're throwing it over to us.

Hey, hey, hey, hey.

20 -second spot. It won't kill us.

Jim, they've asked for you. You okay with that? No problem, Miles. I consider

an honor. Heads up, people. Less than a minute to air. Hit the lights. Leave me

one camera. Where's the copy? Right off the fact. Thank you, John.

Hey, Jim. You okay? You need anything?

A pencil, please. A pencil.

Who's got a pencil?

One pencil.

Nobody has a pencil?

The man needs a pencil.

Unbelievable pro. Jim Dial, everybody.

If I could just see the hands of everyone planning on going to Phil.

30 seconds to air.

This is such a pain. I'm starving to death.

There better be something really interesting in those pages.

Hey, listen to this. Listen.

While vacationing at Kennebunkport, Maine today, President Bush sat on a

and was rushed to a nearby hospital. Are you kidding?

The stinger was removed, the president was later released, and tonight is

resting comfortably, yeah, on his stomach.

Barbara, I'd like to turn over, but it wouldn't be prudent. Not at this

juncture. Hold it together, people.

Fifteen seconds, Jim. Figures it was a wasp. It would have been political

suicide to sit on a minority.

This is a national news break, Murphy. That's enough. I wonder if the wasp

alone. Where is the Warren Commission when you need them?

In five, four...

height of a B in your bonnet, but this is ridiculous.

Good evening. In the news at this hour, the Department of Labor announced that

the unemployment rate increased by three -tenths of one percent in the last

quarter. Pro -choice and right -to -life activists clash in Florida.

While vacationing in Pettibunkport, Maine, today, President Bush sat on a

and was rushed to the hospital.

The stinger was removed.

And the president later released.

And tonight is resting comfortably.

I'm sorry, really, this isn't funny.

Stay tuned to your local station for complete coverage.

And we're out.

You just hang in there, and I'll be home when I can.

Oh, God.

Three months, and he's still on the title.

First, it was Jenny and Eli, A Tale of the West.

Then it was Penelope and Demetrius, A Greek Odyssey.

Now it's Bill and Dave, A Love Story.

my secretary.

I was hoping it was the guy in the beer can hat who was talking to his hand, but

no, it had to be you.

Wait a minute. This is your office? I'm temping for you?

Screw it.

I'm taking early retirement.

Hi, guys.

What's up?

Anything special going on? Looks like business as usual.

Business as usual? Don't make me laugh.

Oh, I forget. That's what you do best, make people laugh. Oh, come on, Frank.

How many people do you think even saw that news break? You know how they

get up to go to the refrigerator or let the dog out? There are 49 million dogs

in this country.

And Channel 9 was running the flower drum song.

People love Nancy Kwan.

Well, good morning.

Although I use the term loosely, I have something I'd like to share with you.

Public reaction to Jim's news break last night.

Childish.

Disrespectful. Wasp stings hurt. I hope you get one.

That one's from the president.

This really stinks.

Jim's a little more chipper on the air than usual and people are all over him.

Poor Jim. He must feel so humiliated. You guys are really overreacting. But

humor you. Let's just suppose for a moment that Jim really is upset over

happened. If that's the case, we'll just apologize for all the goofing around we

did. We? You were the one who did it. What is this? You're blaming me? What

I do?

Jim.

I didn't see you come in.

I took the stairs. You took the stairs 17 flights?

It's a nice day in the stairwell.

I needed the exercise.

And you look great.

I like that cap. Is it new?

Did you pick it out or did Doris?

How is Doris? Did she ever finish that needlepoint pillow she was working on?

I don't know.

You don't know?

No problem. I was just asking.

Matters not.

Look at that. Ten o 'clock already. Time to start the meeting, Miles. Come on,

Jim. You just sit here in your usual chair right here next to me like you

do. 13 years we've been sitting here together.

13 wonderful years.

Can I get you some coffee, or how about a cafe au lait? It'll just take a

minute. Thank you, no.

Well, we do have a show to put on next week. I guess we should get started.

Yes, Jim?

Miles, I'm requesting to be relieved from next week's show. I'd like to take

some time off, personal reasons.

Not do the show?

But, Jim, don't you think that's... Sorry, Miles, I have vacation time

and I... Been promising Doris I'd get that, um, tree stump in the backyard

care of.

Jim, I really don't think this is right. I don't care to discuss it any further,

Miles. I'd appreciate it if you'd give me a simple yes or no. That's all.

Okay, Jim.

If this is something you feel you need to do.

Thank you for understanding.

Have a nice day.

Murphy. Doris, hi.

I rang the doorbell, but no one answered, so I let myself in the back

Trickster sure is cute.

Murphy, I told you over the phone, Jim isn't taking visitors.

You really should go. I've got to talk to him, Doris. He hasn't returned any of

my calls in the last three days. I'm worried about him. You're worried about

him.

Last night, they were showing Oliver on TV.

Halfway through it, Jim started heckling the orphans.

Gee, Doris, I didn't realize it was this bad.

Didn't realize. Let me tell you about my past 72 hours.

The man does not leave the house. He's constantly under my feet, dismantling

vacuum cleaner, organizing things in the refrigerator by size and fat content.

This afternoon, he terrified my bridge club by wandering into the living room

his underpants.

I love Jim dearly, but if I don't get one uninterrupted hour of privacy very

soon, I can't be responsible for my actions.

Doris, I can't find my wingnuts.

Perfect. Jim.

Hi. Can we talk?

Oh, go ahead, Murphy. Maybe you can get through to him.

Thank you, Doris.

Thanks very much.

set up.

The old windmill, huh? You know, I still have the one you have.

Made for me last Christmas.

Jim, I came over to apologize.

It was completely my fault.

I had no idea that you'd lose control like that.

It was the last thing I expected. I feel horrible and I'm...

I'm really, really sorry.

I appreciate this gesture, Murphy, but it has nothing to do with you.

I was the unprofessional one.

I was at fault.

I failed.

Failed? Oh, come on, Jim. You're not the first person to break up on the air.

You know that.

Murrow did it, too.

Murrow was a horse's hiney.

Good Lord, did you hear what I said?

I blasphemed.

Laughing on the air was the most humiliating sophomoric thing I've ever

All my credibility as a journalist is gone out the window.

Jim, this would be so much easier if you'd just blame me. Yell at me. I mean,

really let me have it. I know I'd feel a lot better.

What's the point?

Nothing is ever gained by ill feeling.

Right. As usual.

So what do you say we put this behind us? How about I pick you up tomorrow on

the way in? We can stop off for breakfast. Are you out of your mind?

I'm not going back tomorrow. It's too soon. I'm not ready. It could happen

again. Jim, you're a newsman.

And try it as this sounds, you've got to get back in that anchor chair.

The longer you leave it, the harder it'll be. Damn it, Murphy. I'll come

when I'm good and ready and not before. So stop pestering me and happy Veterans

Day.

Now, where the hell is Doris?

Doris!

Guys, guys, I just put Jim in the hole with the vending machine.

He seems okay.

He was reaching for change when I walked up, so I said hi.

It's okay. He said hi first.

He seemed undecided about whether to get the little cheese and the cracker

things or the M &M's.

I hesitated to get involved, but I wanted to let him know that I knew where

was going.

So finally I decided to say something.

I said, get the M &M's, Jim. It's a happy candy.

He's coming.

He's coming. He's coming.

So the bartender turns to the rabbi.

Gee, and all they found in the shark was her charm bracelet, huh? Well, at least

you got two other sisters.

Hello, all.

Hi, Jim. Nice to see you, Jim.

Jim,

I just know you'll be back to your old self again tonight and won't, you know.

But just in case you feel the urge to, you know, I want you to know this is

for you.

It's a picture of my cat, Mr. Puffy.

I took it while he was in the animal hospital.

It's hard to see his little face because of the respirator.

Don't look at that. Nobody look at that. I know this seems brutal and extreme,

but believe me, there's nothing more sobering than seeing a loved one with a

hairball lodged in his foot.

Right here in case of emergency.

Thank you, Courtney.

Excuse me, everyone. I just wanted to let you know that we will be going live

approximately 20 seconds.

Well, do great, Jim.

We're all here with you.

Open the show.

What? I've never opened a show before. You just read the words, Frank. I know

that. Open up, Frank. Here we go.

In five, four, three, two... Good evening,

and welcome to FYI.

For your information tonight, Frank Fontana... Actually, that's me.

I will take us, take you undercover into a major airline maintenance

hangar while... Corky Sherwood Forrest celebrates a happy and fit 76th birthday

with the legendary Jack LaLanne. But first, a very special interview by

Brown. Thank you, Frank.

It's one of the most painful, heartbreaking stories you'll ever hear.

I'm not on TV. I don't want to be on TV.

I want a good, strong cup of coffee, Phil. Flack, no sugar.

I know how you like your coffee, Jim. I've been serving it to you for 13

I also know a lot of other things about you, like when something's bothering

you. Nothing's bothering me.

I just needed to get away for a while.

In the middle of a live show?

Look, you got a bartender here all to yourself.

Why don't you take advantage of the situation and tell me all about it?

There's really nothing to say, Phil. I... I simply don't know how I go on

here.

You're talking about that laughing thing, aren't you?

Have you tried thinking real depressing thoughts?

If you haven't got any, I'll tell you what happened when my can of corn

delivered you there. It'll tear your guts out.

No. In my career, I've covered a war knee -deep in Korean swamp water.

I've reported men walking on the moon.

I've informed America when one president was assassinated and another one

resigned.

And now the only thing people will remember me for is that I found humor in

president's took us and behaved like a ninny in front of 30 million people.

What is going on with you, Jim?

You're too tough a guy to let something like this get you down.

That's what everyone thinks. That's what I thought.

Being in control has always been my strength. Keeping a cool head while

else was losing theirs. Well, I'm no longer that rock.

I can't depend on myself anymore.

Frankly, it scares the hell out of me.

Then I guess there's only one thing to do.

Hold up your tent.

Leave the profession.

I'm thinking about it, Phil. Believe me. Oh, yeah.

But are you really thinking about it?

What it'd be like sitting on the sidelines telling people what it used to

like when you were on top.

Is that what you want? Of course not. I love my work, Phil.

I can't imagine what it would be like not having it anymore.

Ah, we're getting somewhere.

Now, here's the part where the bartender leans over and says the one thing that

makes all the difference.

Are you listening? Because this is going to be good.

I'm listening, Hamilton.

You said your biggest fear was that you'd be remembered for losing it on the

air.

But if you give up now, that is what you'll be remembered for.

Ah.

Didn't see that one coming, did you?

I guess I never really looked at it that way.

I guess you're just going to have to give it another try, Jim. You don't have

much choice, right?

Right?

Oh, come on, Jim. I'm working like a horse here.

You're right, Phil.

Thank you.

Thank you very much.

You better hurry up, Jim, or you'll miss closing the show.

Oh, good Lord.

There you are, Jim.

I've been looking everywhere for you, in the commissary, in the dressing room.

I've got to go, Murphy.

Sure, keep running away, but let me tell you something. I'm not giving up on

you. I'm going to be right here, stuck to your side, just the way you were with

me until I checked myself into Betty Ford. You were in the cab, on the plane,

trying to get me off the luggage carousel in Palm Springs.

I owe you, Jim, and I love you. So stop acting like a big baby and go back to

work. Okay, let's go.

I'm getting very good at this.

can to restore the public's faith in air travel from O 'Hare Airport in Chicago

this is Frank Fontana reporting that

was something wasn't it

we'll be back right after this we're out and in the

commercial one minute to close on the Frank Fontana hour okay

Close the show and we're home free. You know, Miles, I could really get used to

the senior anchor thing. Where's my close -up?

When we come out of the commercial, just recap the stories and say goodnight. No

sweat. Where's my copy?

There is no copy. Jim always wings it.

Wings it?

Yeah, you've been watching the show. Recap the stories you saw. Well, I was

paying attention to little stories, Miles. I was only watching mine.

So, Jim, what was your piece again? Somebody's birthday, right?

Let's see. Was it Lincoln's?

No.

You watch the show, don't you? I got my own problems, Frank.

30 seconds.

Jim. Jim's here. Thank you, God. Thank you.

Move it, Frank. Be my guest. It's all yours.

20 seconds, people.

Okay, everyone.

Everything's going to be fine.

We can do this.

Ten seconds. I mean it.

So that's our week. From airline

cover -ups to a family's heartbreak to the remarkable and ageless Jack Nick.

We hope you'll be with us again next week. In the meantime, I'm Jim Dial.

unprofessional.