Original subtitles

My world is empty without you, babe My world is empty

without you, babe And as I go my way alone

I find it hard for me to carry on

I need your strength, I need your tender touch

Working on my material for the Humboldt Awards dinner. They've asked me to emcee

this year.

You know, sometimes I just crack myself up.

Gee, the Humboldts. Aren't the nominations due out soon?

They're out today, Murph. I know this because when I woke up this morning, I

this strange feeling of impending doom.

Then I realized, oh yeah, it's Humboldt Day.

For the ninth year in a row, I'll be nominated. And for the ninth year in a

I'll lose to Murphy.

Well, what does it matter, Frank? It must be such a thrill just to be

May I have the envelope, please?

Uh -huh.

Gee, Miles, what have you got there?

I hold in my hand the 1989 Humboldt Award nominations in a sealed envelope,

which was delivered to me by bonded messenger only moments ago.

I am now opening the envelope.

I am now removing the list of nominations.

I will now read the list.

But before I do, I just want to say that no matter what happens, you're all

winners. Each one's success belongs to all because we're the kind of well

machine... Would you just get on with it, Miles? Some of us have jobs.

Okay.

Spot reporting.

Do we care about that? I don't think so.

Neurology. I didn't even know they had a category.

Sports. Who cares?

Miles, just read the list.

Ah, outstanding broadcast news reporting.

Dan Rapp, the student uprising in Tiananmen Square.

Big surprise.

Mike Wallet, sad day for the FBI.

What, somebody lost the keys to the Plymouth?

Uh -oh.

Murphy Brown for Jesse Jackson, the man behind the rainbow.

Congratulations.

Uh -oh, again.

Frank Fontana, the ex -son Valdez, journey to disaster.

Oh, boy.

Another chance to be humiliated at a formal dinner.

I'm so happy.

I hate this. You know, I'm not going to go to the awards this year.

You've got to wear a tux.

You've got to get a date. If you win, she expects you to be great. If you

it's a pity thing.

I'll be your date, Frank.

on, you gotta go. I'll tell you what, why don't we all go out for lunch

together? It'll be our own way of celebrating. As a matter of fact, I'll

You're up. Guys, guys, there's one more nomination.

It's Corky Sherwood, a woman's touch at West Point.

you either, Frank, but you're used to it.

I don't know what I'm saying.

I can't sleep for the next two weeks.

I can't work today. I'm going to have to call my mother.

I'm not saying this tuxedo was old, but I found a ticket stub in the pocket for

the Ford Theater production of Our American Cousins.

Oh, God, he's telling another story.

What am I doing here? Unless there's something in me that craves humiliation.

Everybody's looking at me and I can tell you exactly what they're thinking.

He's a loser, a masochist. Nine years and he still shows up, that poor

idiot.

Frank, if you don't shut up, I'm going to slap you.

Go ahead, I'd probably like it.

So I said to the tailor, I know you rent to magicians, but I won't pay extra to

have the rabbit clean.

the awards ladies and gentlemen the nominations for this year's everett m

humboldt award for outstanding achievement in broadcast news reporting

everybody this is it no matter who wins i want you to remember one thing say my

name you only have to mention it once that's all i ask okay good luck and the

nominees are mike wallace for a sad day for the fbi

For Jesse Jackson, the man behind the rainbow.

Dan Rather, for the changing face of China, the student uprising in Tiananmen

Square.

Frank Fontana, for the Axon Valdez journey to disaster.

And Corky Sherwood, for a woman's touch at West Point.

And the winner is Corky Sherwood.

quirky one. How great for her.

Oh my gosh! Oh, thank you. I don't believe it! I won!

My heart is beating a mile a minute!

I won!

I have so many people to thank. My teachers, my friends, my parents, Edward

Bootsy Sherwood.

But most of all, I have to thank the people of FYI.

Frank Fontana, Jim Dunn,

up at your roots.

I thank you, Murphy, and take the torch you pass me.

It's not just mine.

It belongs to all of us.

Hands off, Frank.

I just polished it.

Meeting, Miles. Meeting, meeting, meeting.

I've got an idea. Why don't we get down to business?

Now, Murphy, about the Brady Bill, which is up before Congress again? Right.

Now, as you know, the bill supports a national seven -day waiting period

purchase of a firearm.

The outcome will affect everyone, and I think it should be our top story.

Sounds good, Murphy.

And I have a great idea. Why don't we give it to Corky? Frank, what do you

Excuse me. Excuse me, Miles?

Murphy, Frank's talking.

Miles, I have done an enormous amount of research on the Brady Bill. Research

I've spent many, many months collecting.

And I'm guessing that you'd like me to go into your office with you now and

at all of it. That's right.

I thought you'd want that.

I thought it all morning.

In the shower, during breakfast, on the drive over here, when I stopped at the

sort of items.

Okay, Miles, you got five seconds to tell me why you're giving the top story

Corky, or I'm getting out my rubber bands and paper clips and straightening

teeth.

Look, Corky's just won a very prestigious award.

Now, the spotlight's on her, and the network wants to use the Humboldt to

this week's show.

I hate this. I know, Murphy. Look, it's just one story. Let her spread her

wings. By this time next week, all this Humboldt stuff will be over, and life

will get back to normal.

interrupt, but are you going to be very long, Miles? If you want me to do the

lead story next week, I'm going to have to meet with you in my office.

Of course, there's not very much room in there, especially with all my flowers

and gifts and now this.

You know, I'm just noticing something.

My office is a lot smaller than Murphy's.

My furniture.

We really need to talk.

and he said he was flying in for the show tonight.

Nope, haven't seen him.

So, Corky, what'd you decide? Two -door, four -door?

I could see you in a convertible.

What are you talking about, Frank?

The car that the show gives you when you win the Humboldt.

That's how Murphy got her car. Now that you won a Humboldt... Oh, man, nobody's

talked to you yet, have they?

Hello?

Oops. I feel terrible. Maybe I shouldn't have said anything.

Oh, I'm sure it's just an oversight.

The piece is dead. I'm going to need another one. Tell them no deal. They

include expenses.

Oh, we won't. What are we, running a charity?

This is my little cork -a -la. How are you, sweetheart?

Oh, okay, I guess.

They won't let me keep my award on the desk during the show because it blocks

Frank. That's so petty.

Excuse me.

May I help you?

Yeah, kid. Here, be a sport. Run downstairs, get me a cup of coffee.

The letter kind. None of that would be decaf.

I think there's been a mistake.

I'm Miles Silverberg, executive producer of FYI. No.

Am I embarrassed?

We've talked on the phone.

Al Floss, great to meet you.

Children, children are running this business.

Babies.

Al Floss, I'm a big fan.

Al Floss, Al Floss. I know, you're my agent too, remember?

Wait, somebody want to get Murphy over here?

Over here for a minute.

Who am I to tell you how to do your job? Take a look at this set. Do you know

what I'm saying?

What are you seeing, Al?

You've got blondies at both ends. They look like bookends.

You could put Frank in Corky's seat, Murphy over there, and then put Corky in

Murphy's chair. Try it. See how it plays.

Let me explain something to you, Al.

There's only two minutes left to air. I don't have time to change it all around

now.

Sure, I understand.

What, they can't get up, walk three steps down?

You ever watch a show being taped from the booth? It's fascinating.

Go through that door. I'm backing up. I'm out of your way.

I can see how you got where you are. You are a smart kid, so you know your time

here is limited.

Believe me, I know. One day you're talking to London on your car phone, and

next day you are refilling the salad bar at Denny's. It happens like that. Why?

Because your star isn't happy.

Hey, there's no ice.

Guys,

don't worry about my earpiece. It's not like I need it. When it's my turn to

talk, just have Jim smack me.

How am I supposed to do the lead story with copy like this? I don't even

understand it. Semi -automatic weapons, Uzis, AK -47s. It's too complicated.

Just say big guns.

Oh, Corky, how's the story going?

Oh, just fine.

What I've got is a lot of footage of overweight men in plaid shirts and Elmer

Fudd hats shooting things.

Ah, then let me ask you this.

Would you like a little extra help?

You know, maybe another one of the anchors? Somebody help you pull it all

together?

Just what are you saying, Miles?

Are you saying that I can't handle the lead story?

is that what you're saying well I'll tell you something even if I have to

in that editing room all night I am going to do the greatest lead story you

saw you just wait Antigua I don't speak Spanish Frank

what do you want oh I was just going to say that if it were up to me I would

pick Antigua

big mouth again.

Someone get my agent on the phone!

Oh, God, Jim, what am I going to do?

She's obviously in way over her head.

I was thinking, maybe I'd ask Murphy to help Quirky out.

I'd say that idea falls somewhere between very brave and unbelievably

Hey there, Murphy.

You still mad at me?

Mm -hmm.

Mad at you till the end of time.

Gee, end of time.

That's pretty mad.

Well,

it's not that I blame you, but you know my back was against the wall on this.

What do you want?

I need your help, Murphy.

I know I insulted you.

I was short -sighted, insensitive.

Not sure I'll ever be able to make it up to you.

But I'm going to try, Murphy.

And I'm going to hold on to the hope that you'll be able to see past your

differences with me and do the right thing.

And that's to help quick you out of this jam.

Look at this show, Murphy.

Will you do it?

No.

Okay.

Murphy, if this is your decision, then I'm just going to have to... What?

You're going to have to do what?

What are you going to do, Miles?

I'd rather not frighten you unnecessarily.

Smile is my makeup I wear since my breakup with you

Baby, baby, baby Take a good look at my face

You'll see my smile looks out of place.

If you look closer, it's easy to trace the tracks of my tears.

What's with the hood ornaments?

They're awards, Eldon. And this is just the B -list. You know how many I have?

So many, I ran out of shelf space.

You know, there's a story behind each one of these. Whoa, gotta go.

Don't worry, Eldon.

Won't bore you with the small details of my past victories.

Do you know why?

Because it's history, Eldon. It's forgotten.

All anyone's thinking about now is that I'm a loser. A loser.

Loser.

I'll get it. It's probably many handsome men wanting to be with you.

Oh, it's you.

I must look terrible.

Where's Murphy?

Murphy, I know I should have called. I didn't mean to barge in on you, but I

need to talk. Can I offer any refreshments while we visit?

I said I need to talk to Murphy. Just leave us alone, Alden.

You know, that's the first time you said my name.

She knows my name.

And a thousand violins begin to play.

Gee, Corky, have you done something different with your hair?

I just spent eight hours watching film clips of senators and congressmen

and talking and their lips kept moving and their voices were echoing until they

just blurred into one very big man who looked like Mr. Potato Head.

Oh, I can't breathe, Murphy. I don't think I'm breathing.

Sure you are.

Well, see you tomorrow.

But what am I going to do? Everyone's going to turn on FYI tomorrow night to

what the Humboldt winner's done next, and they're going to see this!

You've got to help me, Murphy!

Ah, gee, Corky, I'm afraid I'm pretty busy with my own story.

Please, Murphy!

Corky, come on.

They're swayed.

That award's nothing but a hunk of glass.

Well, maybe to you.

But it means something to me.

I really wanted it, Murphy.

I thought it would mean I was good.

I guess someone as successful as you wouldn't know what I'm talking about.

Maybe I do.

Maybe I know how easy it is to kill an afternoon replaying in your head the

moment when your name was called Now you put the award in a special place Where

it's the first thing you see in the morning and the last thing at night You

it in your purse, don't you?

Listen to me Corky the first step is admission.

You can't carry it around with you forever

Now, come on.

Give me the Humboldt.

Give it to me.

I can't.

It's a crutch car key. Get the monkey off your back.

Realize that doing your best work is the true reward.

Now, come on.

We'll just take this one day at a time.

hold this for you till you show me you can handle it.

Now, why don't you go home and get cleaned up?

I'll meet you at the office in half an hour.

You mean you're going to help me?

I'm going to help you.

Oh, Murphy, thank you!

You know, for a while there I thought, I finally made it. I've caught up with

Murphy.

Boy was I wrong.

But I'm gaining on you.