Original subtitles

I'm gonna wait till the midnight hour.

Let my love come tumbling down.

I'm gonna wait till the midnight hour.

When there's no...

We can get this.

One more segment for next week's show, and then we can go home.

I think they put MSG in the sweet and sour shrimp.

We already have two heavy segments. I need something lighter for balance. I

asked them twice. I said, please don't put MSG in the sweet and sour shrimp. I

know it's late and we're tired, but if we can just pull together here. The

generous will laugh, but the lonely will move on.

What the hell does that mean?

It's definitely MSG. I'm getting those little red bumps.

And that sharp pain just above my right eye.

Eldon, what are you... Oh, no.

I forgot.

Payday. Ordinarily, I would never bother you at your place of business, but I

need cash.

There's a big flea market in Calvert County.

I'm looking for a hood ornament off of 55 Pontiac Chief.

Maybe a set of juice glasses.

Why don't you sit over here, Al, and I'll go get your money. I got no time to

sit. Police is outside circling in the truck.

It's the first time she's ever driven stick.

It's such a beautiful night.

A walk around the block really helped to clear my head.

Except some strange woman in a truck almost mowed down five people in the

crosswalk.

Anyway, I've got the perfect idea for next week's show.

I told you, Corky.

I don't think the show is ready to follow Nancy Reagan on her first trip

a grocery store.

Very funny, Mr. Office Comedian.

Just for that, I'm not going to tell you what it is. I'm going to let you sit

there in your little chair, pitching and pitching until you rot.

Nothing will be as good as my idea.

May I help you?

Hello. I'm Eldon.

Yes?

I love you.

Sorry you had to come all the way down here, especially when you got things to

do. See you Monday. That's no problem. No problem at all. As a matter of fact,

now that I'm here, maybe I'll hang around for a few minutes, see exactly

is you do.

No one would have to hang around anywhere if they were interested in

idea. The perfect piece is right under your noses. If we were playing hot, hot,

cold, you'd be on fire.

You just say what it is, Sparky.

Phil's.

What? Phil, next week is its 70th anniversary.

Why not do a story on an historic old Washington press bar?

Did you think of that all by yourself?

Wow. Do cook.

You know, it might just be the MSG talking, but I like it. We could take a

over there on Monday, set up for half a day.

Do some background talk to some of the regulars. Put Phil in front of the

camera. He could talk for hours. It wouldn't just be a story about a bar.

piece of Americana.

I think it will work.

All right.

The Quirkster.

She pulled through.

Thank you.

Hey, that's it. Day's over. We're out of here.

So I guess you're distraught at the stirs of the drink around here, huh?

Uh -huh.

Murphy, aren't you going to show your friends?

People can't change.

Okay, looks like we're just about ready to roll.

First, Corky will introduce the piece.

I'll say a few words about the bar, then I'll turn it all over to you, Phil.

Now, we want some good old stories. Got him. Stories with the color and flavor

of Washington.

Got him. Stories with bite and charm and wit. Crank it up, Miles. I can't suck

in this gut forever.

And this isn't an ordinary bar.

It's Phil...

It may look like just an ordinary bar and grill, the kind you'd find in any

USA, but this isn't any town. This is Washington, D .C. And this isn't an

ordinary bar.

It's Phil.

As the grand old watering hole prepares to celebrate its 70th birthday, we

caught up with a man who stood behind this bar since Harry Truman was

Phil, your father founded this bar in 1919.

How does it feel to be carrying on the tradition?

care to tell stories. You didn't say anything about how do you feel

I can't work like this. Come on, people.

Let's just take a deep breath.

We're not inventing the wheel here.

Loosen up.

Relax. Have fun.

That's what it's all about, right?

Corky, want to take it from your next question?

Ned?

We have to be.

Phil, standing behind this bar, you must have seen and heard it all.

What's your most unforgettable moment?

Well, I'll tell you.

Could be the time Dwight Eisenhower reenacted the Normandy invasion using

nuts and Cheez -Its.

Or maybe it was the time Bob Woodward locked himself in the men's room with no

paper.

I wouldn't give him any until he told me who Deep Throat was.

But if you're looking for favorite...

I guess my own personal choice would be the first time I met Murphy Brown.

Hey, there.

Welcome to Phil's.

God, is it always so hot in Washington?

Only most of June, all of July and August, first part of September.

It breaks around the 15th, then we get a nice Indian summer.

What can I get you?

Scott's rock for the twist.

On second thought, make it a double. This is a dark day.

Oh, how so?

Didn't you hear?

Elvis Presley died.

I heard about it coming in from the airport.

Unbelievable.

Five minutes later, I turn the dial, and there's John Cassidy singing Da -do

-ron -ron.

I almost hit an abutment.

So what brings you to Washington?

A job, maybe.

I got an audition across the street.

Oh, yeah? What for?

New magazine show, FYI.

All right, I heard about that.

It's gonna be live.

Jim Dial's gonna anchor.

They're looking for two co -anchors with good solid field experience.

Considering a woman for one of the slots, but it's gonna be an uphill

the network.

How do you know all that?

I'm Phil.

Who played in the 1948 World Series?

Cleveland beat the Braves four games to two. How many electoral votes in the

state of Kansas?

Seven. How many miles between New York and Bangkok?

Depends. You flying into LaGuardia or Kennedy?

You know, you look familiar.

I have seen you on the evening news a few times.

I'm a foreign correspondent, which means I know how to chant Jimmy Carter is the

devil in 27 languages.

Breaks around to 15.

Then we get a nice Indian summer.

What can I get you?

Uh, just a club soda. I've got an audition to get through.

Me too.

Hit me again, Phil.

I'll be right up.

Hi.

Don't I know you?

Let me get this out of the way right up front. Just because I said something to

you doesn't mean that I'm looking to get picked up.

It's in my nature to talk to people.

So let's not assign any subtext to whatever conversation might come up

us in the next few minutes. That's all I wanted to say.

Whoa, break out the might all.

I'm going to try this one more time.

Frank Fontana.

Murphy Brown.

So you're going up for one of these spots on FYI, huh? Right. You too?

Yeah, I am. I'm kind of looking forward to it. I've never been on camera before.

No kidding. What's your background?

I'm a reporter for the New York Times.

Wait a minute.

Frank Fontana.

Didn't you write that piece on the mafia last year?

That's right, I did. The one that got all the press?

You were nominated for a Pulitzer.

That's me.

I didn't like the piece. I found it very egocentric.

Now, you see what you did? I have known you five minutes already. I don't like

you.

possible we could both land this job today.

We're both away from home. We've got no one to celebrate with.

Maybe we could have celebrated together.

Nice restaurant, bottle of champagne.

Now it's ruined.

You are trying to pick me up, aren't you? Of course I'm trying to pick you

It's a spontaneous thing that guys do.

It's a primal urge, like how we invented fire.

Doesn't necessarily have to mean anything.

Don't waste your time, okay? Go try it in a disco.

I've never been to a disco. Come on, you got Bee Gees written all over you.

I hate the Bee Gees. Admit it, you took hustle lessons.

And what do you listen to? Casey and the Sunshine Band, am I right? I don't own

a record made past 1968.

Oh, yeah?

Johnny's in the basement, mixing up the medicine. I'm on the pavement, thinking

about the government.

Man in a trench coat, badge out, laid off. Says he's got a bad cough, wants to

get it paid off. Look out, kid, it's something you did.

God knows when, but you're doing it again.

Okay, you pass.

Geez.

Elvis is dead.

Yeah.

So, uh, what time's your audition?

Ten minutes.

Well, you better get over there. You're not leaving yourself much time to

change. What do you mean change?

What's wrong with the way I'm dressed?

Nothing if Bozo owns the network.

Listen, this is the way I dress. This is me. I don't have time to worry about

hair and lip gloss. I'm a serious reporter, not a Barbie doll. Just

like I see them. Have a check, please. Mine, too.

I'll be right out.

Why don't you put it all on one? I'll take care of it. Forget it. It's the

my friend. I'll pay my share. In fact, I'll pay your share, too.

You hear that? She's trying to pick me up. I've got a witness.

Forget it. Forget it. I'll just pay my half.

Half? Who taught you math, Burt Lance?

Well, somebody just give me the money.

Well, I gotta go.

It was interesting meeting you.

Right. You walking over? I'll walk with you. Why?

What do you mean, why?

You're trying to pick me up again. I am not. You're not even my type.

You're not supposed to be.

Why do you care?

What do you mean, why?

Two, we don't have a reservation.

Oh, I'm sorry. We're overbooked. I'd give you a table a week from Wednesday.

But we're from out of town.

We saw this place on television the other night, and if I don't get to eat

I'll die.

Yeah, yeah, okay.

It's going to be a two -hour wait, though.

You can kill some time browsing through our gift shop.

I'm holding a special... on commemorative plates.

Ever since you put me on TV, the place has been jammed. People coming in here

all day and all night.

I'm telling you, I go to bed so tired I can't even satisfy Phyllis anymore.

Could you just give us a table, Phil? We've got a meeting at 1 .30 and we have

to get back.

Give you a table? What do I look like, a genie? I told you, Miles, you have to

make a reservation.

Hey, will you look at that?

There's someone sitting at our table.

Can you believe that? What a nerve.

Are you going to sit there all day nursing that sandwich?

What do you think this is, a library?

Come on, speed it up. There's people waiting.

Hey, stranger.

Linda Ellerby.

God, it's been a long time. Too long. What are you doing here?

Are you kidding? It's Phil's 70th anniversary.

I wouldn't want to miss out on a commemorative plate.

God.

It's really a shame that two old friends who haven't seen each other in a long

time couldn't sit down at a table and have a private talk.

Hey, here's a table.

Beat it.

This is really great.

I think about you a lot. I keep meaning to call, but the time just goes.

Tell me about it.

Boy, this place takes me back.

I think the first time I was here was the summer of 77.

You really wanted that job. I did not. I didn't care at all. You flew in all the

way from Zaire.

I had a date.

That's not the way I remember it.

The United States government, troubled by the number of illegal immigrants from

Mexico, had plans to build a fence along the busiest parts of the Mexican

-American border.

It had come to be known as the tortilla curtain.

I don't know how you can be so calm. I'm calm because I don't care if I get the

job fine and if I don't, that's fine, too.

Great, because your competition looks pretty good.

Linda Ellerby?

Give me a break.

Will you look at her?

Teased, sprayed, and glossed to within an inch of her life. She looks like one

of Charlie's Angels.

And she calls herself a journalist.

I thought you didn't care about this.

I don't. I'm just saying I can do better.

See, Ellerbee doesn't personalize her material.

Now, I've come up with a signature sign -off at the end of my commentary, along

the lines of Walter Cronkite, and that's the way it is.

That way, whenever people hear it, they'll always identify it with me.

And so it goes.

Excuse me.

Excuse me. She stole that from me. She was sitting behind me on the plane. She

kept pretending to stand up and stretch so she could look at my notes. I'm

telling you, the woman's a thief.

Oh, you must be Murphy Brown.

Arvin Johns, executive producer of FYI.

I invented and so it goes.

Well, this is Jim Dial, our senior anchor.

Pleasure to meet you.

So you want to give it a shot, eh? Well, we've been following you on the network

the last couple of years. You're pretty good.

The work you've done as a foreign correspondent has not gone unnoticed.

and I both think you have exceptional potential.

Well, let's see what you can do. Somebody want to take her backstage to

and do something with her hair and makeup? What?

Oh, no, I'm fine.

This is me. This is how I'm most comfortable.

It's an anchor position.

There are certain standards.

Well, maybe it's time to change those standards. Do we all have to be blown

before we're allowed to give America the news?

Yes.

You can do your audition in a grass skirt and a coconut bra for all I care.

this is the image you want to project, go to it.

I'll take my chances.

Sweetie, sweetie, come on, come on, you're going to get lost.

This is what I want to do when I grow up.

How many times do I have to tell you, sweetheart, you're going to be a

cardiologist like your Uncle Stuart? Oh.

audition. Take one.

There are many who think that justice is no longer blind, that in fact she's

moved into a whole new tax bracket and wouldn't be caught dead without her

American Express card.

But the Supreme Court sent a different message to the American people last

when it rejected the appeals of Watergate stars John Mitchell, H .R.

and John Ehrlichman.

The decision to... I'm sorry, can we stop for a minute?

I know I wrote this, but it just doesn't feel right.

See, it's not what I do best.

I talk to people. I ask them questions.

Can I show you what I mean?

What's going on here?

Don't ask questions, just answer them, okay? Sit down.

You are crazy, you know that?

Okay, you can roll tape again.

Murphy Brown audition, take two.

On any given day, you can open a newspaper and find hundreds of stories.

We often take the existence of a free press for granted, but there are people

behind those stories, writers who often risk their reputations and sometimes

their lives to get at the truth.

Frank Fontana, welcome to FYI.

Thank you.

As an investigative reporter, you must have had moments when you asked

is it worth it?

Oh, yeah, there have been plenty of those.

Tell me about one of them. Besides now?

Uh, okay.

Well, uh, just a couple of weeks ago, I was sitting in the back seat of a patrol

car. This was in New York?

That's right.

It was the midnight shift, about 2 a .m.

The Son of Sam character had brought the entire city to its knees. The strain

was really starting to show on everyone.

So when the call came over the radio... What do you think?

Well, she's certainly rough around the itches. Oh, I hear she's a real loose

cannon, too. Somebody told me she drank Cassell under the table.

Certainly Ellerbee is the more polished and professional of the two.

Going with Murphy Brown could be a big challenge.

No, no, no, no, no, no. I'm getting too old for this. Let's go with Ellerbee.

Well, that would be the safer choice.

There's something about this one.

Oh, sure, she's brash, outspoken.

There's a real pistol.

Not unlike you.

Yeah? Uh -huh. Now, come on. Even if we both thought it was a good idea, we'd

never get her past the network.

Leave the network to me.

I'm an anchorman, for God's sake.

I just do the voice and scare the hell out of them.

Works every time.

You're sure about this because what you're saying is you are going to take

responsibility for her. You are going to control her.

Arvin, this is the year I grew sideburns.

This is the year I bought colored sheets.

We've got to take some risks now and then.

Let's do it.

God, I wanted that job.

And I did not. Deal, and so it goes from you.

I stole it from Lloyd Dobbin.

You're kidding.

Gee, maybe I should apologize for putting your name in the personal

Soldier of Fortune magazine.

Where even?

the one told Irving R. Levine you had the hots for him.

Well, what goes around comes around.

Seems like we've traded places over the years.

You're happy with the way things turned out, though? I wouldn't have it any

other way.

Me neither.

Although, I was thinking of going back to a regular network job.

I was thinking of taking some time off, maybe writing a book.

Nah.

It's a goat town in here.

Yeah, they say everybody's famous for 15 minutes.

They were right.

What happened to the tour buses?

They all went over to Chad's.

Yesterday, they had a Dan Quayle sighting in the dining room.

What I want to know is, what am I going to do with all these cockamamie Phil

dolls?

Well, what goes round comes round.

I'm thirsty. Phil hit me. Club soda rocks with a twist.

I'll take a draft.

Coming right up. And put it on my cap.

You're buying? Why?

Because I'm that kind of guy, Murph. On the cutting edge.

Not afraid to buy a woman a drink anymore.

These are the 90s.

God, we're old.

I know.

Johnny's in the basement, mixing up the medicine.

I'm on the pavement thinking about the government.

Man in a trench coat, something, something paid off. Look out, kid, it's

something you did.

God knows when, but you're doing it again.