Original subtitles

Thank you.

is in serious danger of losing its standing as a world power.

Now, good Americans, real Americans don't want that. But the media, typified

well, naive people like yourself, simply refuse to acknowledge that it's

necessary to spend money on weaponry if we're gonna survive.

This country spends $300 billion a year on defense and only $20 billion on

education. The security of this country is an immediate priority.

There's only one thing that our enemies respect, Ms. Brown, and that is not who

won the spelling bee.

It is military strength. And I say it's about time we gave the world a reason to

think twice before messing around with the United States of America. What about

the $45 billion the Pentagon wasted on completely unnecessary... Are you trying

to tell me that the Soviets spend less than we do on weaponry? Wake up and

the borscht, Ms. Brown.

I mean, they're right on your doorstep. Frankly, I think we ought to increase

the amount of money we spend on defense. We're not going to have a flag to wave

much longer. And that's the truth.

Now, you take the stealth bomber, for instance. Why don't you tell us about

$75 million... If you let me finish the sentence, Brown, the stealth bomber is a

thing of beauty. What about those $16 ,000 refrigerators on Navy planes? You

know, all you've done is interrupt me and put words in my mouth. I couldn't

possibly put words in your mouth.

Your foot is taking up too much room.

But listen, if you have more to say, never mind me. The stage is all yours.

are you doing?

Well, you seem to know what's good for America, so go ahead.

America, Colonel Fitzpatrick. No.

What are you doing?

What are you doing?

The point that I was making... Murky, the man is drowning out there. Talk to

him.

Miss Brown, if we could just... You just never mind me, Colonel.

You just go right on ahead and say whatever it is you were going to say.

Hey, here's Dan Quayle on the driving range. And they said he wouldn't have

anything to do. Uh -oh, looks like it's going to rain. Wouldn't you know it, I

just washed my car.

I have charts and graphs.

Coupons! I should have bought them.

I don't care, Murphy.

Make all the arguments you want.

It was totally unacceptable behavior.

The guy was a jerk. He was scuffing the backs of my shoes.

It doesn't matter what you or anybody thinks of him. You lost it on the air,

Murphy. Miles, let me explain something to you. I have a reputation for asking

the hard questions. People expect me to be tough.

Yeah, but I don't think they expect you to announce the chicken breast store on

sale at Food World.

It's a darn good price, Miles. We're talking boneless.

You think this is a joke, don't you?

Do you know that in the last half hour, four of our upcoming guests are

cancelled? Four of them. No guts, no glory.

They don't want to be humiliated on the air, Murphy.

We do interviews here at FYI. We don't ask our guests if they know an eight

-letter word for tundra.

Having a powwow. Well, don't mind me.

You made a mockery of broadcast journalism, Murphy. Oh, I did not.

Jim, help me out here. Tell him he's overreacting.

Listen, this is between you two. No matter what you think of a guest or

views, you are obligated to ask the questions in a dignified manner. Jim,

was unprofessional. Am I right? Well, I, uh... Do you believe this, Jim? He

thinks it's neat that his office chair swivels, and he's calling me

unprofessional.

Tell him what it's like in the real world.

Darn elevator gets slower every week.

And, and...

On top of everything else, your stunt left the show eight minutes short.

You put your colleagues on the spot, right, Jim?

Hey, look who's here. It's Corky.

Corky's here.

Hi, Corky. Hi, Jim.

Shall we go?

What's going on, Jim? I know.

Personally, I think you did a lot of damage to your credibility.

But what I'm looking for now, Murphy, is a promise. A promise that this kind of

thing will never happen again.

Oh, this is cute.

You're asking me, a world -renowned network news star, to promise you, a man

still wears a retainer at night, to change my interview in style?

Forget it.

So who's coming to Phil's? Great idea. Come on, Miles.

Going down.

I still have something to say, Murphy.

Great, we can talk at Phil's. Come on, let's put some onion rings. I'd rather

discuss this privately. We'll get a booth.

I'm hungry. If there's a point to all this, say it. You're suspended.

Okay. So I'm suspended. What's that supposed to mean? No more personal phone

calls? I can't take a coffee break until my work is done?

Or do I have to go sit in the cloak room?

It means for the next two weeks, all your assignments will be put on hold.

will be relieved of all duties.

You will not be allowed on the air.

Hello, Murphy.

Hiya, Miles.

I just got a call from Kinsella's office.

I suppose you know that. Uh -huh.

Nice move.

Not only did you call the vice president of news and set up a meeting in your

office, on your turf, but you did it on a day I didn't wear a dark suit.

Oh, gee.

I'm sorry about that, Miles.

Fine. Challenge my authority.

But I'll tell you right now, it's not gonna work.

Kinsella and I don't have your typical boss -employee relationship.

I made a name for myself around here as a guy who can take the heat.

Eugene Kinsella and I are very close.

Rowdy! Gene!

Silverberg? Mr. Kinsella?

How you doing, Murphy?

Seems like ages since we had a chance to catch up. Well, what can I say, Gene?

Your news division keeps me hopping. Well, everybody knows each other. How

my little goddaughters? Ah, they want to know when Aunt Murphy's coming over for

dinner.

Tell Loic I'll call and set a date.

Now that the small talk is over.

Did Debbie's soccer team make it into the playoff? You bet. They won the last

game 2 -1. Debbie scored a goal. Terrific. I played soccer.

At Harvard.

In a mural.

Goalie.

If you're through with your story, Miles, I think we should start the

As you know, Gene, we have a problem.

Actually, it's more of a problem at...

Oh, I'm sorry, Miles. There's a chair behind that door. Thanks.

So, about this suspension thing.

I mean, I thought before we did anything rash, the two old friends could sit

down together and come up with an even -handed solution.

Well, of course we can.

Have you given any thought at all to the ramifications of this suspension?

What about possible negative publicity?

Have you seen today's papers? The press is already having a field day.

But I can't very well take my star reporter off the air for two weeks.

the middle of a ratings war, for crying out loud. You have to balance ratings

against the show's integrity.

Once you lose the audience's respect, you don't get it back.

We must protect our stature, otherwise we look foolish.

May I stand?

Mr. Kinsella, I know this was a tough call, but you told me I'd have to make

these tough calls when you hired me six months ago.

Gene, when you hired me 16 years ago, when Miles was nine...

This wouldn't have been an issue.

Mr. Kinsella, you hired me to do a job here at FYI.

You promised me top brass support and told me to run with the ball.

But I can't do this if you're going to second guess me, or if I thought I had

ask permission before I made a move.

What I'm saying is, I'm willing to take the heat for this decision, but I have

to take a stand, and I hope you'll back me.

Okay. What?

I just call him the way I see him.

Oh, by the way, Murphy.

The girls love the birthday dresses you sent.

Oh, Murph.

The next couple of weeks just aren't going to be the same without you.

Seeing your empty parking spot right next to the door, reminding me that

not here.

Maybe you'll ease the pain if I park there.

You know, I thought about a lot of things in the last half hour.

My old office, his new car, his pants.

Those are all flammable, Frank.

But then I thought, no, I'm better than that. Not his house.

No. See, while I was packing my stuff, I remembered this game against the

Eagles. Third and long, Sonny Jurgensen got hammered from behind.

Everyone in that stadium knew he was hurt.

But he walked out of there and wouldn't show it.

Frank, if I'm being sent home, I'm going to walk out of here like Jurgensen.

You're a pro, Murphy. Just do me a favor.

Call office supply.

I accidentally dropped my typewriter on the floor six times.

Chin up, Slugger.

I know you'll weather this storm.

Thanks, Jim.

Boy, this was a tough one.

I certainly see your side of it.

But then I see Miles' side of it, too.

Yes, you went over the top, but...

Does it warrant this kind of punishment?

Who's to say?

And that, in a nutshell, is what makes the world so damn interesting.

God, I hate goodbyes.

You know, Murph, I think that you should look at this time off as a blessing in

disguise. I didn't want to say anything before, but you have been especially

tense lately.

You're probably right.

When was the last time I had two weeks to myself?

This will be good.

Oh, Murphy, I'm so sorry about what's happened to you.

But maybe you can look at this more positively.

I know if I were you, I'd use this time to go to the gym and work off some of

those extra pounds so you won't be embarrassed come swimsuit season.

Thanks for the advice.

So, I guess I'm the senior woman around here.

I guess I'll just have to make it my business to see that FYI maintains its

high standards.

Don't wear that tie anymore.

Take me with you, Murph. I'm scared.

Look. Excuse me.

Murphy, I just wanted to say that what I did, what I had to do, was strictly a

professional decision.

I hope there'll be no hard feelings.

You stink.

Okay, there'll be some hard feelings.

As far as I'm concerned, we're two people who have to work together, and

it. All right, if that's what you want. No, I want all your hair to fall out. I

want you to get cavities in every tooth.

I want to roll you in picnic food and stake you to an anthill. That's what I

want.

Silverberg.

Obviously penis envy.

I'm trying to work. So am I. I need my smoothing stick, which you buried under

this mess.

Oh, look, I wasn't going to say anything, but I can't live like this.

Your pantyhose is touching my stuff.

Could you keep it down, Eldon? I'm trying to write.

What are you writing there, anyway?

My memoirs, Eldon, okay?

I've been wanting to do it for a long time. Frankly, it's going very well.

Listen.

My early years were memorable ones. A merry child, I made no judgments,

no resentments toward those who would question my style with finger paints.

And yet, in a way, these experiences were to mirror so many of life's cruel

jokes awaiting me.

So?

Before we would spend a little less time writing, A little more time shaving

those legs.

Who asked you?

I was a vibrant child.

A robust child.

I'm going to do that wall.

Oh, forget it. I work alone.

Eldon, it's my house.

That's my brush. It's my wallpaper.

Not until I put it on your wall.

I need to wallpaper, Eldon, okay? I need to wallpaper very much.

Very, very much.

I've got to get another gig.

Okay, you can wallpaper.

Great. I'll do that. I'll smooth the wallpaper.

Give me that smoother thing. You cannot smooth the wallpaper. That requires

technique. You can, uh, you.

Stir and paste.

Oh, thanks a lot. Give me some token job. Well, I don't want to stir the

I want it smooth.

Fine. You smooth.

And every night you can lie awake in bed looking at the little bubbles that you

missed, driving you crazy as you try to flatten them with your thumbnail.

I'm going to get more paste. You do what you want.

Hey,

old man, how's it going?

Remember that last scene in The Exorcist?

What a nice surprise.

Hello, Murphy. We're not staying long. What are you talking about?

Come on in. Make yourself comfortable.

Have a seat.

Oh.

Murph.

How you doing?

Great. Just fine. I've been writing. I've been working. The day just isn't

enough. But your leg hair is.

Please, Murph. You could comb it.

that answer when you tell me why this room looks like the third day of

Woodstock.

Okay. Okay, I can't take it anymore.

I'm bored.

I floss five times a day. I eat popcorn to make it more challenging.

Last night, I hit bottom.

Jim, I make pudding.

Don't you have a robe?

Guys, I've been here three days.

You're starting to care what happens on the young and the restless.

Send me a lifeline. Tell me about the office. What's going on?

Nothing much, right, Jim?

Yes, that's right. Nothing much.

You know, I've got this great new angle for my World Bank story. I can't wait to

get back to work on it.

Why? What happened?

Did Miles kill it?

Not exactly.

Well, what?

Corky's handling it.

Corky?

Corky? How does she plan to compare the attitudes towards deficit spending in

Japan with those of the traditional powers of Western Europe?

She took a Toyota for a test drive and rented Tea House of the August Moon.

Murphy, we came here to boost your spirits. I hate to see you like this.

because Miles thinks he won, let's all go to the kitchen.

Wait a minute.

Miles won?

Oh, well, he didn't specifically use that word. And I lost? I didn't mean to

stir up the situation.

I think I'm starting to see signs of life here.

Yeah.

Everybody in the office thinks you won, too.

They think you're taking this lying down, beaten, whipped. I hate that.

Dead in the water.

Tail between your legs.

D -O -A -R -I -T.

Are you getting dressed, though? You bet I am. What a yes I've been.

Frank, go get my razor.

Excuse me.

Here's that sub sandwich you ordered.

I shoved in an extra meatball for you.

Thanks, Phil.

Murphy, how long have we known each other?

A long time, Phil.

You kissed me when we landed on the moon and after John Dean testified.

But you never kissed me for a meatball sub.

Get back to work, Murphy. You're losing your edge.

I might be getting back sooner than you think.

Hurry.

Bye, guys.

How's it going, Murphy?

Oh, Murphy.

How wonderful it is to see you.

And you look so good.

Doesn't she look good?

Tell her she looks good.

Well, I feel pretty good.

Had a nice day.

Did a little ironing. Cleaned the refrigerator.

Snagged a major interview.

Bought some stamps. Whoa, whoa, whoa. What major interview? Oh, nobody

Murphy. Marlon Brando. That's terrific.

Brando never grants interviews. How'd you do it? He owed me.

We attended a UN conference together about ten years ago.

The speeches got long, so we sneaked over to his hotel room and played poker

night. I kept winning, and he kept upping the stakes. The next thing you

won his island.

Well, what am I going to do with an island? So I gave it back to him. In

he promised me a favor.

Last night, I cashed it in. He's in town, and he's willing to do the

this week.

Talk about your rotten timing.

You're on suspension.

I know.

Oh.

Oh.

Close the door. It's closed. It's closed.

Well, look who's here.

Hi, Miles.

Murphy.

Marlon Brando's manager.

What a coincidence.

I just talked to Marlon Brando.

Seems as though he wants to do an interview with you.

And that's a shame.

You're on suspension.

Yep. Tough break.

Boy, it's really too bad you losing a real ratings grabber like that.

Well, I'll just be in my office picking up some stuff in case anybody needs to

find me and talk about anything.

I know people say that sometimes, but I mean it. I really, really mean it.

She thinks she's got me, but she doesn't.

I don't have to agree to that interview.

Son, let me give you some advice.

Sure, Phil.

I can take advice, especially from you.

Why don't you just pull down your pants and sit on the griddle?

It'll be a lot less painful.

I was hoping to see you.

I was walking around outside for the last 20 minutes trying to decide what to

do.

You're really something, Murphy.

I knew you'd find a way to get back at me, but I thought it'd be more like

filling the inside of my car with lead.

I guess you haven't seen your car recently.

Jeez.

Why'd you have to do it to me, Murphy?

Why'd you have to get Brando?

Miles, I know you're not going to believe this, But I'm not trying to make

look bad.

Yeah, right.

No, really.

You've got to understand something about me.

My work is just about the most important thing in my life.

Not being here practically killed me.

I miss the studio.

I miss the incessant noise the teletype makes. I miss my office.

Look.

Isn't that great?

I know I shouldn't need this job as much as I do.

But the fact is, you're dealing with a person who gave up drinking this year.

Who gave up smoking this year.

Every day is a struggle.

I'm not as strong as you think I am.

I don't admit that to many people.

I'm admitting it to you.

You know,

When I was a kid, I used to watch you on TV and think if there was one person

I'd like to work with, it would be you.

And here I am, FYI and Murphy Brown, produced by Miles Silverberg.

Pretty overwhelming stuff.

Most of the time I feel I can handle it, but sometimes I feel like I'm still

that kid.

I guess what I'm trying to say is I can do this job without your respect.

But it would mean a lot more to me if I had it.

I do respect you, Miles.

A little bit more today than a few days ago.

Thank you.

So if someone from the big girl escort service shows up at your house tonight,

it's because I thought it was a good idea at the time.

Well, I guess we can't stay around talking all day.

The decision has to be made.

We have to do what's best for the show, and I guess that's letting you back on

the air.

Thank you, Miles.

But from here on out, I have your full cooperation.

You've got it.

Good.

Well, I guess we all have work to do.

You don't suppose two people who respect each other could go out and split some

money rings sometime?

I'll buy.

Now get out of here. I got footage to put together. I got biomaterial to read.

Oh, by the way, when the Brando interview is over, you'll still have

left on your suspension.

What? What are you talking about?

Okay, eight days. We don't have to count today.

Miles, we'll be right back where we started. I don't want that. You don't

that. And my painter definitely doesn't want that.

There's only one fair and reasonable way to settle this. What?

Closest to the bullseye wins.

That's two out of three.