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1
00:00:03,230 --> 00:00:06,070
We are engaged.
2
00:00:06,070 --> 00:00:06,600
[laughs]
3
00:00:06,600 --> 00:00:08,000
Celery [bleep] savoy
4
00:00:08,000 --> 00:00:09,700
Is the president
of the clam bake club.
5
00:00:09,710 --> 00:00:12,170
- Please.
- Frederick, don't do this--
6
00:00:12,170 --> 00:00:13,170
You're acting like a baby.
7
00:00:13,180 --> 00:00:14,240
I can stay a baby forever.
8
00:00:14,240 --> 00:00:16,540
I'm the great
marquis de sainsbury,
9
00:00:16,550 --> 00:00:18,380
The arbiter of who's who
in newport society.
10
00:00:18,380 --> 00:00:21,780
Oh, whoops. I know I'm not
supposed to feed the animals.
11
00:00:21,780 --> 00:00:23,280
So, that's your scheme,
huh?
12
00:00:23,290 --> 00:00:25,350
Feeding your fish
to the commodore?
13
00:00:25,350 --> 00:00:28,320
I'm gonna blackmail
the shit out of her.
14
00:00:28,320 --> 00:00:30,690
You are hereby stripped
of all duties
15
00:00:30,690 --> 00:00:31,660
Befitting an under-butler.
16
00:00:31,660 --> 00:00:35,030
Please vacate the premises
immediately.
17
00:00:35,630 --> 00:00:38,770
[upbeat music]
18
00:00:38,770 --> 00:00:40,170
♪ ♪
19
00:00:40,170 --> 00:00:41,140
Brava. Brava.
20
00:00:41,140 --> 00:00:43,470
Now, are we playing
captain moreton eglington
21
00:00:43,470 --> 00:00:45,710
Castle rules or do we
just want to be wild women
22
00:00:45,710 --> 00:00:47,510
And play a little
french pall mall?
23
00:00:47,510 --> 00:00:51,280
It's just a game,
what does it matter, lillian?
24
00:00:51,280 --> 00:00:53,510
Oh, fun fact:
25
00:00:53,520 --> 00:00:55,180
Did you know that
the pollacks
26
00:00:55,180 --> 00:00:56,450
Actually desire
to be enslaved?
27
00:00:56,450 --> 00:00:59,550
It's in their very blood.
Isn't that a hoot?
28
00:00:59,560 --> 00:01:02,490
Do you not know
that I am direct descendant
29
00:01:02,490 --> 00:01:05,260
To the throne of poland?
30
00:01:05,260 --> 00:01:07,800
Oh, he's just kidding,
lil.
31
00:01:07,800 --> 00:01:11,730
[laughter]
32
00:01:11,730 --> 00:01:14,100
(celery)
oh, I love to joke around.
33
00:01:14,100 --> 00:01:15,540
Remember when we
were children?
34
00:01:15,540 --> 00:01:17,300
I made that joke
where I told everyone
35
00:01:17,310 --> 00:01:19,440
You threw a party on
reject's beach?
36
00:01:19,440 --> 00:01:20,670
You know, the beach
where the poor
37
00:01:20,680 --> 00:01:22,280
Go to clean
their undergarments?
38
00:01:22,280 --> 00:01:23,440
Scotch frog hats,
39
00:01:23,450 --> 00:01:26,310
I would rather swim
in a septic tank!
40
00:01:26,320 --> 00:01:29,220
Well, I'm sure
lillian doesn't remember.
41
00:01:29,220 --> 00:01:30,750
It was so very long ago.
42
00:01:30,750 --> 00:01:32,850
Don't remember at all.
43
00:01:32,860 --> 00:01:34,660
[screams]
44
00:01:35,860 --> 00:01:37,620
Footman down!
45
00:01:37,630 --> 00:01:40,590
[music]
46
00:01:40,600 --> 00:01:49,100
♪ ♪
47
00:02:05,150 --> 00:02:06,720
What the hell is that?
48
00:02:06,720 --> 00:02:07,650
The--what? No, nothing.
49
00:02:07,660 --> 00:02:09,620
It's nothing. I'm nothing.
50
00:02:09,630 --> 00:02:12,260
You need to work on
your self-esteem, you idiot.
51
00:02:12,260 --> 00:02:13,790
It looks like a letter to me.
52
00:02:13,800 --> 00:02:14,900
I got a letter once.
53
00:02:14,900 --> 00:02:16,260
From an old lover telling me
54
00:02:16,270 --> 00:02:18,200
She contracted
the sailor's virus.
55
00:02:18,200 --> 00:02:21,270
- I hate letters.
- Oh, please tell us.
56
00:02:21,270 --> 00:02:23,770
It's a letter from
the triangle shirtwaist factory.
57
00:02:23,770 --> 00:02:26,310
They offered me a job interview
for tomorrow.
58
00:02:26,310 --> 00:02:28,880
It's always been my dream
to work in a factory.
59
00:02:28,880 --> 00:02:30,480
To feel the steam on my face
60
00:02:30,480 --> 00:02:34,310
And the hot crush of machinery
against my finger pads.
61
00:02:34,320 --> 00:02:35,280
[laughs]
62
00:02:35,280 --> 00:02:37,620
Factory life!
No, thanks.
63
00:02:37,620 --> 00:02:38,890
Well, I hope everyone's
64
00:02:38,890 --> 00:02:43,590
Happily lazing about savoring
the delights of all meal.
65
00:02:43,590 --> 00:02:46,290
Thanks to your indolence,
the urine buckets under the sink
66
00:02:46,300 --> 00:02:48,900
Have become filled
to the point of over slosh.
67
00:02:48,900 --> 00:02:50,360
Why hasn't this been taken
care of?
68
00:02:50,370 --> 00:02:52,600
I believe that was
garfield's job, sir.
69
00:02:52,600 --> 00:02:54,200
And you sacked him
for stealing a towel, sir.
70
00:02:54,200 --> 00:02:58,340
So, it wasn't indolence, sir.
It was a staffing issue, sir.
71
00:02:58,340 --> 00:02:59,740
Call me sir one more time,
72
00:02:59,740 --> 00:03:01,240
I shall dock your gruel
for a week.
73
00:03:01,240 --> 00:03:02,880
What would you like me
to call you?
74
00:03:02,880 --> 00:03:05,780
Sir will do.
Just pace it out.
75
00:03:05,780 --> 00:03:07,450
Hamish,
you will empty the urine.
76
00:03:07,450 --> 00:03:09,350
Sorry, peeps,
according to my contract,
77
00:03:09,350 --> 00:03:12,220
I don't touch piss, mops,
or gypsies.
78
00:03:12,220 --> 00:03:15,720
Oh, very well.
I shall empty it myself.
79
00:03:16,390 --> 00:03:17,960
I'm so excited for you!
80
00:03:17,960 --> 00:03:19,260
Factory life!
81
00:03:19,260 --> 00:03:20,560
[both laugh]
82
00:03:20,560 --> 00:03:25,330
[laughs]
83
00:03:25,330 --> 00:03:28,970
[rap music]
84
00:03:29,300 --> 00:03:33,610
(garfield)
since I'm no longer
welcome inside bellacourt manor,
85
00:03:33,610 --> 00:03:36,380
I've made my home outside.
86
00:03:36,380 --> 00:03:37,580
[sighs]
87
00:03:37,580 --> 00:03:39,580
Breaks my heart.
88
00:03:39,580 --> 00:03:42,450
[classical music]
89
00:03:42,450 --> 00:03:43,680
You know, at first this
baby bea stuff
90
00:03:43,690 --> 00:03:46,690
Was kind of funny,
but now it's just weird.
91
00:03:46,690 --> 00:03:49,720
It's time to change tactics.
92
00:03:51,560 --> 00:03:52,560
I need your help.
93
00:03:52,560 --> 00:03:55,760
I'm not quite certain
you know how blackmail works.
94
00:03:55,760 --> 00:03:57,300
You pay me, I own you.
95
00:03:57,300 --> 00:03:59,700
Yes, yes.
Extremely frightening.
96
00:03:59,700 --> 00:04:02,900
Where...Is my...
97
00:04:02,910 --> 00:04:05,410
50 cents?
98
00:04:05,410 --> 00:04:07,940
How about $500?
99
00:04:07,940 --> 00:04:08,780
[scoffs]
100
00:04:08,780 --> 00:04:10,440
The hell are you
talking about?
101
00:04:10,450 --> 00:04:12,410
I know this guy in town.
102
00:04:12,410 --> 00:04:14,580
He used to buy the girls
from the brothels.
103
00:04:14,580 --> 00:04:16,420
He always
looks for a very
104
00:04:16,420 --> 00:04:19,490
Vulnerable kind of girl.
105
00:04:20,520 --> 00:04:21,890
Oh. I get it.
106
00:04:21,890 --> 00:04:24,960
You have turned
into a complete psychopath.
107
00:04:24,960 --> 00:04:27,590
What's the guy's address?
I'll take her there.
108
00:04:27,600 --> 00:04:28,830
- [gasps]
- garfield!
109
00:04:28,830 --> 00:04:31,630
What in the h.M.S. Pinafore
are you doing here?
110
00:04:31,630 --> 00:04:34,470
Mr. Peepers,
I-I had nowhere else to go.
111
00:04:34,470 --> 00:04:36,900
T-the orphanage
said no 30-year-olds.
112
00:04:36,910 --> 00:04:37,800
Well, I can't have you
113
00:04:37,810 --> 00:04:39,340
Vagabonding about
bellacourt manor.
114
00:04:39,340 --> 00:04:41,440
Now, get out
before I have you skinned
115
00:04:41,440 --> 00:04:42,480
And turned into work gloves.
116
00:04:42,480 --> 00:04:44,040
Oh, well I heard
beatrice and hamish.
117
00:04:44,050 --> 00:04:45,550
They're going
to one main street.
118
00:04:45,550 --> 00:04:49,650
- Out! Out!
- Oh, that's bellacourt urine!
119
00:04:53,350 --> 00:04:55,060
[knocks on door]
120
00:04:55,990 --> 00:04:56,920
(hamish)
celine sent us.
121
00:04:56,930 --> 00:04:59,760
You order a white heiress,
right?
122
00:04:59,760 --> 00:05:01,700
Hello, little girl.
123
00:05:01,700 --> 00:05:04,000
I'm mr. Thomas edison.
124
00:05:04,000 --> 00:05:07,900
Are you going to do everything
I ask you to do?
125
00:05:07,900 --> 00:05:08,940
Probably.
126
00:05:08,940 --> 00:05:13,470
She's perfect for my
forbidden experiment.
127
00:05:13,480 --> 00:05:13,940
Mmm.
128
00:05:13,940 --> 00:05:17,980
Uh, I don't mean to interrupt
whatever dastardly power game
129
00:05:17,980 --> 00:05:22,480
You have going on right now,
but I have a 5:00 shabbat, so...
130
00:05:22,480 --> 00:05:23,950
Ah.
131
00:05:23,950 --> 00:05:25,090
Thank you.
132
00:05:25,090 --> 00:05:26,850
Shalom aleikhem.
133
00:05:26,860 --> 00:05:29,620
Aleikhem shalom.
134
00:05:30,020 --> 00:05:33,390
So, convicted for treason
by the knight's court
135
00:05:33,400 --> 00:05:34,590
In the french town
of larroquette,
136
00:05:34,600 --> 00:05:37,460
I watched as my mentor,
the marquis post's head
137
00:05:37,470 --> 00:05:38,870
Rolled from the guillotine
to my very feet,
138
00:05:38,870 --> 00:05:41,800
Thinking, "this has ruined
a perfectly good opera."
139
00:05:41,800 --> 00:05:44,940
Lillian, this afternoon
was so pleasant.
140
00:05:44,940 --> 00:05:47,910
We'd love to induct you
as a fully vetted member
141
00:05:47,910 --> 00:05:50,510
Of newport's very own
clam bake club.
142
00:05:50,510 --> 00:05:52,610
Are you familiar
with our organization?
143
00:05:52,610 --> 00:05:55,580
Am I familiar
with your organization?
144
00:05:55,580 --> 00:05:59,390
It's only the most prestigious
mollusk-based social group
145
00:05:59,390 --> 00:06:00,350
In all of north america.
146
00:06:00,360 --> 00:06:01,690
We put those insufferable
dunderpates
147
00:06:01,690 --> 00:06:03,720
In the portsmouth
scallop society to shame.
148
00:06:03,730 --> 00:06:06,660
I would love to finger clams
with you two.
149
00:06:06,660 --> 00:06:10,600
Well, then,
looking forward to it.
150
00:06:10,600 --> 00:06:12,730
Doors.
151
00:06:12,740 --> 00:06:16,940
[vocalizing]
152
00:06:16,940 --> 00:06:19,470
[upbeat music]
153
00:06:19,480 --> 00:06:21,380
♪ I knew it all along ♪
154
00:06:21,380 --> 00:06:22,880
♪ this is my destiny ♪
155
00:06:22,880 --> 00:06:25,580
♪ I finally have it all ♪
156
00:06:25,580 --> 00:06:30,080
♪ and no one
deserves it more than me ♪
157
00:06:30,090 --> 00:06:31,550
♪ the bottom 1% of the top 1% ♪
158
00:06:31,550 --> 00:06:32,890
♪ is the loneliest place
for a girl ♪
159
00:06:32,890 --> 00:06:35,690
♪ but I'm the piece of sand
who's gonna irritate the clam ♪
160
00:06:35,690 --> 00:06:37,460
♪ until I turn into a pearl ♪
161
00:06:37,460 --> 00:06:39,090
♪ I was on the outside,
now I'm not ♪
162
00:06:39,090 --> 00:06:40,960
♪ it's time to show newport
what I've got ♪
163
00:06:40,960 --> 00:06:43,000
♪ see this face?
You're gonna see it a lot ♪
164
00:06:43,000 --> 00:06:47,170
♪ it's exactly
where I was meant to be ♪
165
00:06:47,170 --> 00:06:48,800
♪ I can finally say ♪
166
00:06:48,800 --> 00:06:52,140
♪ "hi, society" ♪
167
00:06:52,140 --> 00:06:54,610
♪ the bottom 1%
of the bottom 1%
168
00:06:54,610 --> 00:06:55,610
♪ is just fine with me ♪
169
00:06:55,610 --> 00:06:57,710
♪ because I got a letter and my
life will get much better ♪
170
00:06:57,710 --> 00:06:59,680
- ♪ when I work at a factory ♪
- hey!
171
00:06:59,680 --> 00:07:01,550
♪ I thought it was hopeless
I was wrong ♪
172
00:07:01,550 --> 00:07:04,990
Get out of the way, blanche!
This is my song!
173
00:07:06,950 --> 00:07:10,090
[vocalizing]
174
00:07:10,860 --> 00:07:14,900
Well, now I forgot
what I was even singing about.
175
00:07:14,900 --> 00:07:18,670
[groans]
you're all fired!
176
00:07:23,040 --> 00:07:25,910
[rap music]
177
00:07:25,910 --> 00:07:30,280
Oh, I tell you,
I feel like ten bucks.
178
00:07:30,280 --> 00:07:33,350
It's as though getting off
the morphine
179
00:07:33,350 --> 00:07:35,350
Has actually
improved my health.
180
00:07:35,350 --> 00:07:36,980
Oh, mother, how long are you
going to bring up
181
00:07:36,990 --> 00:07:40,720
Your miraculous liberation
from drug addiction?
182
00:07:40,720 --> 00:07:41,890
Oh, darling.
183
00:07:41,890 --> 00:07:43,060
Champagne, really?
184
00:07:43,060 --> 00:07:46,960
Are you sure you want
to poison yourself so soon
185
00:07:46,960 --> 00:07:47,990
Before the big clam bake?
186
00:07:48,000 --> 00:07:50,300
(lillian)
champagne is
like mother's milk to me.
187
00:07:50,300 --> 00:07:52,130
If I had a mother
who'd given me milk.
188
00:07:52,130 --> 00:07:54,130
Oh, darling,
you wouldn't have wanted that.
189
00:07:54,140 --> 00:07:59,010
My teats were full
of opiate poison.
190
00:07:59,010 --> 00:07:59,840
I want to get out.
191
00:07:59,840 --> 00:08:01,680
If I have wrinkly fingers
at the clam bake,
192
00:08:01,680 --> 00:08:03,910
People will think
I have a wrinkly labia.
193
00:08:03,910 --> 00:08:05,410
That you have wrinkly labia.
194
00:08:05,410 --> 00:08:07,280
Plural.
You have four.
195
00:08:07,280 --> 00:08:08,920
Ugh.
Don't remind me.
196
00:08:08,920 --> 00:08:11,850
Frederick,
today is the last day
197
00:08:11,850 --> 00:08:15,320
Before you depart
into the horrors of marriage.
198
00:08:15,320 --> 00:08:18,990
Dodo has ordered me to throw
frederick a bachelor party,
199
00:08:18,990 --> 00:08:20,830
And I do not consider
him a friend,
200
00:08:20,830 --> 00:08:25,070
But legally he is family,
so I must oblige.
201
00:08:25,070 --> 00:08:26,830
And she pays my allowance.
202
00:08:26,840 --> 00:08:30,000
- So, this is a bachelor party?
- Yes, it is.
203
00:08:30,010 --> 00:08:32,810
And this is a vagina.
204
00:08:32,810 --> 00:08:33,470
But in hat form.
205
00:08:33,480 --> 00:08:37,210
I had a local taxidermist
fashion it for me.
206
00:08:37,210 --> 00:08:39,450
Why would we wear
genitalia as hats?
207
00:08:39,450 --> 00:08:40,680
- It feels warm.
- Mm-hmm.
208
00:08:40,680 --> 00:08:45,020
And every good bachelor party
starts off with shots.
209
00:08:45,020 --> 00:08:48,260
- Dr. Goldberg!
- Both: Shots! Shots! Shots!
210
00:08:48,260 --> 00:08:50,920
Shots! Shots! Shots!
211
00:08:50,930 --> 00:08:53,460
Shots! Shots!
Shots!
212
00:08:53,460 --> 00:08:55,060
Who would like
a syringe full first?
213
00:08:55,060 --> 00:08:56,800
The bachelor boy,
of course.
214
00:08:56,800 --> 00:08:58,200
Fellows,
I don't know about this.
215
00:08:58,200 --> 00:08:59,870
I've never taken
a drug before.
216
00:08:59,870 --> 00:09:02,770
(goldberg)
this is not a drug.
It's a poem in your mind.
217
00:09:02,770 --> 00:09:05,410
And then, if things turn bad,
a poem in your sphincter.
218
00:09:05,410 --> 00:09:07,470
But I'm afraid of needles.
219
00:09:07,480 --> 00:09:08,910
That's okay.
220
00:09:08,910 --> 00:09:10,440
[imitates airplane
engine]
221
00:09:10,450 --> 00:09:12,710
It's the wright brothers
experimental
222
00:09:12,710 --> 00:09:14,920
Lighter-than-air
flying machine!
223
00:09:14,920 --> 00:09:16,150
Ahh!
224
00:09:16,150 --> 00:09:18,850
[airplane noises]
225
00:09:18,850 --> 00:09:22,960
[both scream]
226
00:09:24,430 --> 00:09:28,130
[both laugh]
227
00:09:29,300 --> 00:09:31,260
Oh, thank you.
228
00:09:31,270 --> 00:09:33,100
Yes, I know, I--
229
00:09:33,100 --> 00:09:36,370
I do consider myself
assembly line material.
230
00:09:36,370 --> 00:09:39,040
Oh, gosh, well, I would say
that my greatest strength
231
00:09:39,040 --> 00:09:42,510
Is that I have an ability
to pull an apple cart
232
00:09:42,510 --> 00:09:43,780
All by myself.
233
00:09:43,780 --> 00:09:46,350
And my greatest weakness--
234
00:09:48,880 --> 00:09:51,050
Well, if I had to think
of a greatest weakness,
235
00:09:51,050 --> 00:09:51,820
It would be...
236
00:09:51,820 --> 00:09:54,820
That I have to go
to the bathroom every 14 hours.
237
00:09:54,820 --> 00:09:58,090
And other than that,
nothing.
238
00:09:58,830 --> 00:10:00,960
Nothing.
239
00:10:02,430 --> 00:10:03,460
Ooh, do a little turn.
240
00:10:03,470 --> 00:10:05,170
Do a little turn.
That's right.
241
00:10:05,170 --> 00:10:08,130
Show daddy how pretty
your dress is.
242
00:10:08,140 --> 00:10:11,270
[1920s music]
243
00:10:11,270 --> 00:10:16,980
♪ ♪
244
00:10:16,980 --> 00:10:19,950
[music]
245
00:10:19,950 --> 00:10:28,250
♪ ♪
246
00:10:35,460 --> 00:10:38,570
[rap music]
247
00:10:38,570 --> 00:10:39,330
♪ ♪
248
00:10:39,330 --> 00:10:42,070
Not only do I get invited
to the clam bake club,
249
00:10:42,070 --> 00:10:45,440
But I get to ride in
celery savoy's bathing machine.
250
00:10:45,440 --> 00:10:48,210
Just when I thought I couldn't
have another greatest day
251
00:10:48,210 --> 00:10:49,310
Of my life, here I am.
252
00:10:49,310 --> 00:10:51,380
Celery, is there anything
I need to know
253
00:10:51,380 --> 00:10:52,450
For the initiation ceremony?
254
00:10:52,450 --> 00:10:54,550
No, you do a bathing rite
in the ocean
255
00:10:54,550 --> 00:10:56,550
And then we all stuff ourselves
with clams.
256
00:10:56,550 --> 00:10:59,390
Yum, and then we sing
the legend of the clam,
257
00:10:59,390 --> 00:11:02,060
Which is our society's
official theme song.
258
00:11:02,060 --> 00:11:03,020
Oh, I know it already.
259
00:11:03,030 --> 00:11:04,260
♪ from the depths of the sand ♪
260
00:11:04,260 --> 00:11:05,590
♪ to the silt of the sea ♪
261
00:11:05,590 --> 00:11:06,960
♪ high tide, low tide ♪
262
00:11:06,960 --> 00:11:07,960
♪ barnacles and cla-- ♪
263
00:11:07,960 --> 00:11:10,860
Save your voice, lillian.
We all sing it together.
264
00:11:10,870 --> 00:11:13,230
Also,
it's in c-sharp minor.
265
00:11:13,900 --> 00:11:15,370
[gasps]
we're here.
266
00:11:15,370 --> 00:11:18,570
Lillian,
why don't you go first?
267
00:11:22,880 --> 00:11:25,180
[screams]
268
00:11:25,180 --> 00:11:26,010
Oh, my dear.
269
00:11:26,010 --> 00:11:28,050
I'm afraid all the spaces
on this side of
270
00:11:28,050 --> 00:11:29,420
The beach
have been taken.
271
00:11:29,420 --> 00:11:31,250
This beach
is for members only.
272
00:11:31,250 --> 00:11:33,350
- Go that way.
- That's right.
273
00:11:33,360 --> 00:11:35,260
You're on rejects beach,
lillian.
274
00:11:35,260 --> 00:11:38,990
Where you belong.
275
00:11:39,560 --> 00:11:42,530
[distorted]
poor people!
276
00:11:42,530 --> 00:11:44,900
[distorted]
hot dog?
277
00:11:44,900 --> 00:11:48,170
Hot dog!
278
00:11:48,170 --> 00:11:51,270
[rock music]
279
00:11:51,270 --> 00:11:55,910
♪ ♪
280
00:11:55,910 --> 00:12:00,310
[distorted laughter]
281
00:12:04,520 --> 00:12:07,990
[crying]
282
00:12:11,290 --> 00:12:14,190
(woman)
♪ alone ♪
283
00:12:14,200 --> 00:12:14,930
No!
284
00:12:14,930 --> 00:12:19,900
(woman)
♪ I'm all alone ♪
285
00:12:19,900 --> 00:12:22,240
♪ alone ♪
286
00:12:22,240 --> 00:12:25,110
♪ all by myself ♪
287
00:12:25,110 --> 00:12:28,610
♪ I'm alone ♪
288
00:12:29,310 --> 00:12:32,080
I can't believe
it's finally happening.
289
00:12:32,080 --> 00:12:34,350
I can't wait to lay my head
on a pillow
290
00:12:34,350 --> 00:12:36,350
Stuffed with damp hay.
291
00:12:36,350 --> 00:12:38,220
You deserve it, blanche.
292
00:12:38,220 --> 00:12:41,690
I'll never forget
how you treated me here.
293
00:12:41,690 --> 00:12:44,190
I misjudged you, chair.
294
00:12:44,190 --> 00:12:46,290
I feel terrible
about the way I treated you
295
00:12:46,290 --> 00:12:47,930
The other day
with beatrice.
296
00:12:47,930 --> 00:12:49,260
What do you mean?
297
00:12:49,260 --> 00:12:50,530
I barked orders at you,
298
00:12:50,530 --> 00:12:53,070
I treated you as if
you were an underling
299
00:12:53,070 --> 00:12:56,070
Instead of a friend.
300
00:12:56,070 --> 00:12:59,270
And also I dropped prime rib
on your head.
301
00:12:59,270 --> 00:13:00,470
Oh, that.
It's all right.
302
00:13:00,480 --> 00:13:04,610
What's a little beef-related
assault between coworkers?
303
00:13:04,610 --> 00:13:07,680
Oop, friends.
304
00:13:07,680 --> 00:13:08,580
[sighs]
305
00:13:08,580 --> 00:13:10,520
Oh,
would you do one thing
306
00:13:10,520 --> 00:13:11,990
Before you leave?
307
00:13:11,990 --> 00:13:12,620
Anything.
308
00:13:12,620 --> 00:13:16,390
Would you fetch the rendered
beef fat from the meat locker?
309
00:13:16,390 --> 00:13:17,260
Hortense wants a snack
310
00:13:17,260 --> 00:13:18,360
And my hands
get so cold in there.
311
00:13:18,360 --> 00:13:20,460
You must toughen up
those mitts.
312
00:13:20,460 --> 00:13:22,660
What are you going
to do without me when I'm gone?
313
00:13:22,660 --> 00:13:25,470
You'll never get through
the winter grave shoveling.
314
00:13:25,470 --> 00:13:26,270
I would be happy to.
315
00:13:26,270 --> 00:13:30,200
It will be my last chore
here at bellacourt.
316
00:13:35,680 --> 00:13:37,410
Oh.
317
00:13:37,410 --> 00:13:39,580
Oh, my. It's locked.
318
00:13:39,580 --> 00:13:41,410
Could you open the door?
319
00:13:41,420 --> 00:13:43,980
Chair!
Please!
320
00:13:43,990 --> 00:13:45,690
I have my job interview!
321
00:13:45,690 --> 00:13:48,720
- Tell it to the beef.
- No!
322
00:13:48,720 --> 00:13:51,160
Did you hear that?
I said, "tell it to the beef."
323
00:13:51,160 --> 00:13:56,100
No. No. No! No!
Please!
324
00:13:56,500 --> 00:13:59,430
Let me out!
325
00:14:03,100 --> 00:14:06,210
[dramatic music]
326
00:14:06,210 --> 00:14:14,510
♪ ♪
327
00:14:20,590 --> 00:14:21,490
[groans]
328
00:14:21,490 --> 00:14:24,160
Garfield!
What are you doing kissing me?
329
00:14:24,160 --> 00:14:25,960
[coughs]
you're fired.
330
00:14:25,960 --> 00:14:28,490
I've already been fired,
madam.
331
00:14:28,500 --> 00:14:31,300
Oh, what a nightmare.
They all laughed at me.
332
00:14:31,300 --> 00:14:33,530
They wanted me to eat
a hot dog.
333
00:14:33,540 --> 00:14:34,630
Oh, yuck.
334
00:14:34,640 --> 00:14:38,470
Celery doesn't want to be
my sister at all, does she?
335
00:14:38,470 --> 00:14:39,340
No, madam,
336
00:14:39,340 --> 00:14:41,470
But you already have
a sister,
337
00:14:41,480 --> 00:14:42,440
A great one.
338
00:14:42,440 --> 00:14:43,480
And she's in trouble.
339
00:14:43,480 --> 00:14:45,280
And I can take you to her.
340
00:14:45,280 --> 00:14:46,050
Oh, no, thank you.
341
00:14:46,050 --> 00:14:50,020
I'm still reeling
from my beach humiliation.
342
00:14:50,020 --> 00:14:51,280
Oh, all right.
343
00:14:51,290 --> 00:14:52,590
Well, just to clarify,
344
00:14:52,590 --> 00:14:55,090
Your sister's in
quite a bit of trouble.
345
00:14:55,090 --> 00:14:58,120
Apparently beatrice has been
sold into white slavery
346
00:14:58,130 --> 00:15:01,160
And what's worse,
she's acting!
347
00:15:01,160 --> 00:15:04,300
[upbeat music]
348
00:15:04,300 --> 00:15:07,230
♪ ♪
349
00:15:07,240 --> 00:15:11,070
Oh, no, no, no.
350
00:15:13,070 --> 00:15:16,340
Albert.
Why won't you wake up?
351
00:15:16,340 --> 00:15:17,410
♪ ♪
352
00:15:17,410 --> 00:15:20,010
Bea is my sister.
353
00:15:20,020 --> 00:15:20,780
Bea is my sister.
354
00:15:20,780 --> 00:15:24,420
- Bea is my sister.
- Doctor goldberg.
355
00:15:25,550 --> 00:15:28,620
♪ ♪
356
00:15:28,620 --> 00:15:30,620
Am I a demon?
Am I a demon?
357
00:15:30,630 --> 00:15:33,690
[screams]
358
00:15:33,700 --> 00:15:39,130
♪ ♪
359
00:15:39,130 --> 00:15:43,040
I don't think
I want to be married.
360
00:15:43,040 --> 00:15:49,140
♪ ♪
361
00:15:49,140 --> 00:15:50,610
- Beatrice!
- Get out!
362
00:15:50,610 --> 00:15:52,750
This is a closed set!
363
00:15:52,750 --> 00:15:55,110
As soon as I saw that huge
metal penis by my mouth,
364
00:15:55,120 --> 00:15:57,180
All I could think about was
my twin brother frederick
365
00:15:57,190 --> 00:15:59,290
And I suddenly remembered
who I was.
366
00:15:59,290 --> 00:16:00,720
Falling charlie,
what are you doing here?
367
00:16:00,720 --> 00:16:02,790
- Trying to break into film.
- Silence, chaplin.
368
00:16:02,790 --> 00:16:05,530
Beatrice, let's go.
We're here to rescue you.
369
00:16:05,530 --> 00:16:09,260
Baby bea,
you're not going anywhere.
370
00:16:09,260 --> 00:16:11,260
- I own you.
- [growls]
371
00:16:11,270 --> 00:16:12,700
Ow!
372
00:16:12,700 --> 00:16:14,800
There's no place
like my house!
373
00:16:14,800 --> 00:16:17,070
Some of the things
I did were pretty embarrassing,
374
00:16:17,070 --> 00:16:19,070
But luckily, nobody
saw it except for me,
375
00:16:19,070 --> 00:16:21,410
The director, the cameraman,
the two actors,
376
00:16:21,410 --> 00:16:23,710
And the noisy box
with the glass eye.
377
00:16:23,710 --> 00:16:26,550
Kind of looks like
that one.
378
00:16:26,810 --> 00:16:27,680
[blanche screaming]
379
00:16:27,680 --> 00:16:29,280
She's been screaming
like that for a while.
380
00:16:29,280 --> 00:16:30,750
I'm really worried
about her.
381
00:16:30,750 --> 00:16:33,120
She insists that she had
a job interview
382
00:16:33,120 --> 00:16:33,850
In the meat locker.
383
00:16:33,860 --> 00:16:37,120
Spirit of vishnu save us.
This house is crumbling.
384
00:16:37,130 --> 00:16:38,660
Stand aside, chair.
Blanche.
385
00:16:38,660 --> 00:16:42,130
Blanche,
I'm opening the door.
386
00:16:42,130 --> 00:16:43,460
Get out of there.
387
00:16:43,470 --> 00:16:44,630
You'll freeze to death,
you fool.
388
00:16:44,630 --> 00:16:46,870
- [screams]
- oh, you poor thing.
389
00:16:46,870 --> 00:16:48,800
I think all that time
in the meat locker's
390
00:16:48,800 --> 00:16:50,270
Frozen her corneas.
391
00:16:50,270 --> 00:16:51,800
She did it.
392
00:16:51,810 --> 00:16:53,110
She did this.
393
00:16:53,110 --> 00:16:55,340
Blanche, it's chair.
394
00:16:55,340 --> 00:16:57,240
Your friend.
395
00:16:57,250 --> 00:16:58,750
I'll handle this,
chair.
396
00:16:58,750 --> 00:17:02,180
I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I
have an I-I-I-I-interview.
397
00:17:02,180 --> 00:17:06,320
I was supposed to work
in a f-f-f-f-f--a factory.
398
00:17:06,320 --> 00:17:10,220
I have a letter.
399
00:17:12,890 --> 00:17:15,360
All right, all right.
400
00:17:15,360 --> 00:17:18,300
I have a letter.
401
00:17:20,200 --> 00:17:22,770
My god, this is serious.
402
00:17:22,770 --> 00:17:24,570
"peepers = farts."
403
00:17:24,570 --> 00:17:25,810
[whimpers]
404
00:17:25,810 --> 00:17:26,810
I'm not amused, blanche.
405
00:17:26,810 --> 00:17:31,340
No. I had
a job interview today.
406
00:17:31,350 --> 00:17:34,280
3:00 p.M.
419 maplewood drive.
407
00:17:34,280 --> 00:17:36,420
- 419 maplewood drive?!
- Yes.
408
00:17:36,420 --> 00:17:38,620
Well, then we must go.
I can take you there.
409
00:17:38,620 --> 00:17:40,490
If we leave now,
we still may make it.
410
00:17:40,490 --> 00:17:41,790
Hurry, blanche.
Hurry.
411
00:17:41,790 --> 00:17:44,490
Oh, thank you.
Thank you.
412
00:17:45,890 --> 00:17:47,390
[whimpering]
413
00:17:47,400 --> 00:17:48,660
Oh, no, please.
414
00:17:48,660 --> 00:17:51,160
Please, please, please.
415
00:17:51,170 --> 00:17:53,730
No.
416
00:18:03,910 --> 00:18:05,780
[upbeat music]
417
00:18:05,780 --> 00:18:08,820
Hurry, garfield. I don't want
to miss the wedding.
418
00:18:08,820 --> 00:18:10,880
Well, I've been
carrying you for miles.
419
00:18:10,890 --> 00:18:14,190
It would be much faster
if we all walked.
420
00:18:14,190 --> 00:18:17,090
Yes, and it would be
even faster if we flew.
421
00:18:17,090 --> 00:18:20,990
Let's talk
actual solutions.
422
00:18:21,000 --> 00:18:24,730
What do we have here?
It's a couple of whores.
423
00:18:24,730 --> 00:18:25,360
- [gasps]
424
00:18:25,370 --> 00:18:26,430
My eyes don't have a fraction
425
00:18:26,430 --> 00:18:28,030
Of the sadness required
to be whore's eyes.
426
00:18:28,040 --> 00:18:30,300
Aye, and look at this fella
with the short shorts
427
00:18:30,310 --> 00:18:32,240
And the towel
hanging from his pocket.
428
00:18:32,240 --> 00:18:32,910
[both laugh]
429
00:18:32,910 --> 00:18:34,140
Let's throw 'em
in the big house.
430
00:18:34,140 --> 00:18:35,440
- All right.
- Ooh, yes. The big house.
431
00:18:35,440 --> 00:18:37,140
That's where we live.
Please take us home.
432
00:18:37,150 --> 00:18:38,740
- They mean jail.
- [gasps]
433
00:18:38,750 --> 00:18:41,710
I'm not going to jail.
I'm rich.
434
00:18:41,720 --> 00:18:43,820
Might be one way
out of it.
435
00:18:43,820 --> 00:18:45,280
How skilled are ya
at mouth jobs?
436
00:18:45,290 --> 00:18:47,890
- [gasps]
- I'll do it.
437
00:18:47,890 --> 00:18:50,120
- Beatrice, no!
- I'm already down here.
438
00:18:50,130 --> 00:18:53,060
- No.
- Oh, another disappointment.
439
00:18:53,060 --> 00:18:55,960
Officer o'connolly,
officer o'connor,
440
00:18:55,960 --> 00:18:59,000
Cease harassing
these prostitutes post haste.
441
00:18:59,000 --> 00:19:01,330
What do you care
about a few street whores?
442
00:19:01,340 --> 00:19:03,200
We're not whores.
We're bellacourts.
443
00:19:03,200 --> 00:19:07,840
My god, it is you.
Well, don't be ashamed.
444
00:19:07,840 --> 00:19:09,840
The nags don't judge.
445
00:19:09,840 --> 00:19:14,180
Regardless of race,
size, or class,
446
00:19:14,180 --> 00:19:15,280
We love all women.
447
00:19:15,280 --> 00:19:18,280
Every single woman,
all the prostitute women,
448
00:19:18,290 --> 00:19:20,850
All our mother women,
all our aunts,
449
00:19:20,860 --> 00:19:24,120
Our female cousins,
the females with dogs
450
00:19:24,130 --> 00:19:25,790
And the females
with cats, too.
451
00:19:25,790 --> 00:19:30,200
Hey! Those stupid bitches
are stealing our rickshaw!
452
00:19:30,200 --> 00:19:31,000
Bye.
453
00:19:31,000 --> 00:19:34,170
- Please, help us.
- [laughs]
454
00:19:34,170 --> 00:19:36,170
Oh, you barren,
childless wretches.
455
00:19:36,170 --> 00:19:37,940
No, we police
don't help people anymore.
456
00:19:37,940 --> 00:19:42,510
We just get mouth jobs
and beat up the blacks.
457
00:19:44,440 --> 00:19:46,950
Commodore, I'm so pleased
you could make it
458
00:19:46,950 --> 00:19:47,810
In time for the wedding.
459
00:19:47,820 --> 00:19:51,380
- Where are my daughters?
- I'm right here, papa.
460
00:19:51,390 --> 00:19:52,550
I'm also
one of your daughters.
461
00:19:52,550 --> 00:19:56,120
Oh, I don't think
of you as one of my daughters,
462
00:19:56,120 --> 00:19:59,090
I think of you as a son
that can't earn money
463
00:19:59,090 --> 00:19:59,990
Or give me heirs.
464
00:19:59,990 --> 00:20:02,200
Commie, I don't know
how to tell you this,
465
00:20:02,200 --> 00:20:04,500
But lillian and beatrice
have gone missing.
466
00:20:04,500 --> 00:20:06,300
They may not be
at the wedding.
467
00:20:06,300 --> 00:20:09,370
This is truly great news.
468
00:20:09,370 --> 00:20:11,970
Without those two cocaine
sponges here
469
00:20:11,970 --> 00:20:12,870
To bungle everything,
470
00:20:12,870 --> 00:20:15,580
This should go off
like a well-oiled bear trap.
471
00:20:15,580 --> 00:20:17,010
Right, boy?
472
00:20:17,010 --> 00:20:17,880
Yes, papa.
473
00:20:17,880 --> 00:20:20,350
[laughs]
good lad.
474
00:20:20,350 --> 00:20:23,550
[dramatic music]
475
00:20:23,550 --> 00:20:26,090
Where did I put my--
476
00:20:26,090 --> 00:20:27,450
So, you don't
say hello anymore?
477
00:20:27,460 --> 00:20:30,820
Christ, celine.
How did you get in here?
478
00:20:30,830 --> 00:20:31,620
Did anyone see you?
479
00:20:31,630 --> 00:20:34,030
Is that how you
talk to me now?
480
00:20:34,030 --> 00:20:35,260
I'm sorry.
481
00:20:35,260 --> 00:20:37,000
I don't know
what I was thinking.
482
00:20:37,000 --> 00:20:41,230
Punish me
like the rabid cur I am--oh!
483
00:20:41,240 --> 00:20:42,240
Shut up.
484
00:20:42,240 --> 00:20:43,570
Again.
485
00:20:43,570 --> 00:20:46,240
Oh!
Again. Again.
486
00:20:46,240 --> 00:20:49,180
The next one
you'll have to earn.
487
00:20:49,180 --> 00:20:50,610
What do you want?
488
00:20:50,610 --> 00:20:53,350
I want your balls in a bag
that I wear around my hip.
489
00:20:53,350 --> 00:20:57,620
Barring that,
I want the house.
490
00:21:06,060 --> 00:21:07,190
[speaking spanish]
491
00:21:07,200 --> 00:21:09,060
[screams]
492
00:21:09,060 --> 00:21:12,600
[all speaking spanish]
34515
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