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1
00:00:06,400 --> 00:00:07,800
Hello, everyone.
2
00:00:07,800 --> 00:00:09,440
[gasps]
frederick!
3
00:00:09,440 --> 00:00:11,140
Beatrice.
4
00:00:11,140 --> 00:00:16,580
May I present miss celery savoy
and her bow-wow, dumpling.
5
00:00:17,750 --> 00:00:20,210
And may I make
the further announcement
6
00:00:20,220 --> 00:00:24,150
That we are engaged...
7
00:00:24,150 --> 00:00:25,420
In...
8
00:00:25,420 --> 00:00:27,620
A soon-to-be-married
agreement.
9
00:00:27,620 --> 00:00:31,230
[dramatic music]
10
00:00:31,230 --> 00:00:33,290
[laughing]
11
00:00:33,300 --> 00:00:35,230
♪ ♪
12
00:00:35,230 --> 00:00:36,460
Celery [bleep] savoy
13
00:00:36,470 --> 00:00:37,870
Is the president
of the clambake club.
14
00:00:37,870 --> 00:00:40,830
It is unbelievable that a sack
of stupid like frederick
15
00:00:40,840 --> 00:00:44,610
Was able to pull
in a human diamond like celery.
16
00:00:44,610 --> 00:00:47,240
It's like catching
a golden lobster
17
00:00:47,240 --> 00:00:48,640
With a trap made of shit.
18
00:00:48,640 --> 00:00:51,550
Welcome
to the family, celery!
19
00:00:51,550 --> 00:00:52,680
Congratulations, frederick.
20
00:00:52,680 --> 00:00:56,380
You've become another cog
in the great marriage industry.
21
00:00:56,390 --> 00:00:58,390
Well, that is very generous
of you to say,
22
00:00:58,390 --> 00:01:03,660
Especially since you will never
know the joy of human touch.
23
00:01:03,660 --> 00:01:04,760
Pardon me, frederick.
24
00:01:04,760 --> 00:01:06,130
I'm afraid
I may not have heard you.
25
00:01:06,130 --> 00:01:09,560
Would you mind re-describing
the nature of your relationship
26
00:01:09,570 --> 00:01:10,430
With celery?
27
00:01:10,430 --> 00:01:12,300
Well,
it's like my freddy said.
28
00:01:12,300 --> 00:01:13,930
We're to be married.
29
00:01:13,940 --> 00:01:15,700
Oh, yes.
That's what I thought he said.
30
00:01:15,700 --> 00:01:18,410
I was just a little distracted
by this buzzing in my head
31
00:01:18,410 --> 00:01:22,480
And hot numbness covering
my body and time slowing down.
32
00:01:22,480 --> 00:01:23,640
(dodo)
frederick!
33
00:01:23,650 --> 00:01:25,410
Uh, uh, I...
34
00:01:25,410 --> 00:01:29,680
I have the most tremendous urge
to make water.
35
00:01:29,690 --> 00:01:31,350
- Oh.
- I-I can't--
36
00:01:31,350 --> 00:01:32,290
[all gasp]
37
00:01:32,290 --> 00:01:34,690
[urine trickling]
38
00:01:34,690 --> 00:01:36,620
That's not
a toilet, mother!
39
00:01:36,630 --> 00:01:38,130
That's my new best friend!
40
00:01:38,130 --> 00:01:42,630
I'm sure I'm pleased
to make your acquaintance.
41
00:01:42,630 --> 00:01:45,230
(man)
♪ I want the money,
I want the fame ♪
42
00:01:45,230 --> 00:01:47,700
♪ I want the whole world
to know my name ♪
43
00:01:47,700 --> 00:01:49,800
♪ this is mine,
I got to get it ♪
44
00:01:49,810 --> 00:01:52,810
♪ I got to get it,
got, got to get it ♪
45
00:01:52,810 --> 00:01:56,540
♪ another period ♪
46
00:01:58,250 --> 00:01:59,250
Mother didn't just urinate
47
00:01:59,250 --> 00:02:01,580
On our newest and most
important family member.
48
00:02:01,580 --> 00:02:03,550
Peepers,
fetch the urine talcum.
49
00:02:03,550 --> 00:02:06,850
She also urinated on
this family's social standing.
50
00:02:06,860 --> 00:02:08,920
I need to do something
that will force celery
51
00:02:08,920 --> 00:02:10,790
To take our family
seriously again--
52
00:02:10,790 --> 00:02:15,160
Host a 17-course meal
in honor of her dog, dumpling.
53
00:02:16,830 --> 00:02:20,500
Lady of the house present!
54
00:02:20,500 --> 00:02:21,870
If any of you feel a cough
coming on
55
00:02:21,870 --> 00:02:23,400
Or any sort
of facial dampness
56
00:02:23,410 --> 00:02:25,570
Please refrain
from breathing.
57
00:02:25,570 --> 00:02:29,010
The puppies
for your perusal, madam.
58
00:02:29,010 --> 00:02:31,610
Aw, they're all so cute!
59
00:02:31,610 --> 00:02:33,880
Uh, I'll take that one.
60
00:02:33,880 --> 00:02:36,250
Oh, no, no,
um, that one.
61
00:02:36,250 --> 00:02:37,990
Oh, I can't decide!
62
00:02:37,990 --> 00:02:39,350
I'll take them all.
63
00:02:39,360 --> 00:02:42,460
You'll be perfect
for my cape!
64
00:02:45,730 --> 00:02:48,560
Stop trying to escape.
65
00:02:51,670 --> 00:02:54,640
Was that as bad
as I believe it was?
66
00:02:54,640 --> 00:02:59,110
No. Everyone mistakes an heiress
for a water closet
67
00:02:59,110 --> 00:03:01,780
From time to time,
don't they?
68
00:03:01,780 --> 00:03:03,580
I'm sure celery
counts herself lucky
69
00:03:03,580 --> 00:03:06,510
To be peed on
by the great dodo bellacourt.
70
00:03:06,520 --> 00:03:10,750
Oh, heavens,
why must my body fail me so?
71
00:03:10,750 --> 00:03:12,720
In some asiatic cultures,
relieving oneself
72
00:03:12,720 --> 00:03:16,560
On the guest is considered
a sign of respect.
73
00:03:16,560 --> 00:03:18,430
Would the madam
like a syringe of the dog?
74
00:03:18,430 --> 00:03:22,760
No. This drug use
simply will not do!
75
00:03:22,770 --> 00:03:26,830
- No more!
- A little won't hurt.
76
00:03:26,840 --> 00:03:29,540
She said, "no more!"
77
00:03:31,270 --> 00:03:33,770
The lady said,
"no more."
78
00:03:33,780 --> 00:03:38,080
You know I had no choice in the
matter of my upcoming marriage.
79
00:03:38,080 --> 00:03:40,850
I'm a senator now,
so I must get engaged.
80
00:03:40,850 --> 00:03:43,280
But I thought that meant
you were going to change the law
81
00:03:43,290 --> 00:03:44,920
So we could marry?
82
00:03:44,920 --> 00:03:48,920
My sweet, shivering tower
of aspic.
83
00:03:48,920 --> 00:03:50,390
Senators
don't make the laws.
84
00:03:50,390 --> 00:03:52,630
They just accept bribes
from corporations.
85
00:03:52,630 --> 00:03:55,030
And until there's a corporation
that cares about siblings
86
00:03:55,030 --> 00:03:57,970
Being allowed to marry,
there's nothing we can do.
87
00:03:57,970 --> 00:04:00,000
I hate corporations!
88
00:04:00,000 --> 00:04:02,600
And I hate celery.
89
00:04:02,610 --> 00:04:04,870
If it makes you feel
any better, I hate her too.
90
00:04:04,870 --> 00:04:08,810
She's smart, well traveled.
She laughs at all my jokes.
91
00:04:08,810 --> 00:04:10,310
It's awkward.
92
00:04:10,310 --> 00:04:11,810
[sighs]
93
00:04:11,810 --> 00:04:12,680
Well, it's fine.
94
00:04:12,680 --> 00:04:13,910
We're just gonna
have to be more careful
95
00:04:13,920 --> 00:04:15,550
When we sneak out
for our lovemaking.
96
00:04:15,550 --> 00:04:19,620
Oh, my sweet, shivering tower
of aspic,
97
00:04:19,620 --> 00:04:22,320
Father said that now
that I'm a senator,
98
00:04:22,320 --> 00:04:24,790
We must stop
our fornicating.
99
00:04:24,790 --> 00:04:26,360
What?
100
00:04:26,360 --> 00:04:27,790
But I love you!
101
00:04:27,800 --> 00:04:30,100
[sighs]
beatrice.
102
00:04:30,100 --> 00:04:31,030
Beatrice, please--
103
00:04:31,030 --> 00:04:34,940
Please don't do this, frederick.
I love you.
104
00:04:35,770 --> 00:04:37,500
- Please, please don't do this.
- Baby. Bea.
105
00:04:37,510 --> 00:04:39,370
Please, frederick,
don't do this.
106
00:04:39,380 --> 00:04:42,080
You're acting like a baby...
107
00:04:42,080 --> 00:04:45,950
Like the baby
I first made love to.
108
00:04:47,820 --> 00:04:49,180
But we--we can't.
109
00:04:49,180 --> 00:04:52,790
We had to grow up sometime.
We can't stay babies forever.
110
00:04:52,790 --> 00:04:54,960
Yes, we can.
111
00:04:56,760 --> 00:05:00,460
I hope we can still be
brother and sister.
112
00:05:02,860 --> 00:05:15,010
We can't stay
babies forever.
113
00:05:17,510 --> 00:05:19,710
Now, remember, peepers,
114
00:05:19,720 --> 00:05:22,380
No matter how cunningly
or forcefully
115
00:05:22,380 --> 00:05:25,650
I ask you for morphine,
you are to deny me.
116
00:05:25,650 --> 00:05:26,690
Yes, madam.
117
00:05:26,690 --> 00:05:27,820
It is an order.
118
00:05:27,820 --> 00:05:29,620
Do you understand?
119
00:05:29,630 --> 00:05:30,760
Yes, madam.
120
00:05:30,760 --> 00:05:33,760
- So may I have some morphine?
- Yes, madam.
121
00:05:33,760 --> 00:05:35,930
That was a test.
122
00:05:35,930 --> 00:05:38,170
You are not
to give me morphine.
123
00:05:38,170 --> 00:05:39,070
Yes, madam.
124
00:05:39,070 --> 00:05:40,870
May I please have
some morphine?
125
00:05:40,870 --> 00:05:44,070
- Yes, madam.
- No! It should be, "no, madam!"
126
00:05:44,070 --> 00:05:47,410
- Yes, madam.
- So, again...
127
00:05:47,410 --> 00:05:49,580
Can I have some morphine?
128
00:05:49,580 --> 00:05:52,010
- Yes, madam.
- No!
129
00:05:52,010 --> 00:05:53,910
Don't you understand?
130
00:05:53,920 --> 00:05:58,450
Saying yes to you
is my morphine.
131
00:05:58,450 --> 00:06:06,390
I can stay a baby forever.
132
00:06:06,400 --> 00:06:09,560
[lullaby music]
133
00:06:09,570 --> 00:06:13,200
♪ ♪
134
00:06:13,200 --> 00:06:16,000
Oh, yeah.
135
00:06:16,000 --> 00:06:19,070
Yeah, yeah.
136
00:06:20,910 --> 00:06:24,510
Oh! My lady,
those are snacking beets
137
00:06:24,510 --> 00:06:27,210
Not beautification beets.
138
00:06:27,220 --> 00:06:29,450
How do I look?
139
00:06:29,450 --> 00:06:32,590
Is my lady quite sure
that she wants to rub a beet
140
00:06:32,590 --> 00:06:33,250
Into her face?
141
00:06:33,260 --> 00:06:35,520
Mm-hmm.
Quite sure.
142
00:06:35,520 --> 00:06:36,990
And I'm not a lady.
143
00:06:36,990 --> 00:06:37,790
I'm a baby.
144
00:06:37,790 --> 00:06:40,590
I can stay
a baby forever.
145
00:06:40,600 --> 00:06:44,000
I see, my la--my baby.
146
00:06:44,000 --> 00:06:47,630
Well, I shall place
this here.
147
00:06:49,700 --> 00:06:51,970
Do I need more?
148
00:06:51,970 --> 00:06:54,540
No, I think that's perfect.
149
00:06:54,540 --> 00:06:58,750
Maybe just a little more.
Mm-hmm.
150
00:06:58,750 --> 00:07:00,810
(garfield)
this way. Oops.
151
00:07:00,820 --> 00:07:03,920
- Through, go through!
- Garfield, what are you doing?
152
00:07:03,920 --> 00:07:05,720
I'm about to forever-sleep
these puppies
153
00:07:05,720 --> 00:07:08,620
- For miss lillian's cape.
- Oh, fun.
154
00:07:08,620 --> 00:07:12,190
Just wondering, do you think it
strange that one of your duties
155
00:07:12,190 --> 00:07:14,900
Is to kill puppies
for a woman's fashion?
156
00:07:14,900 --> 00:07:18,130
Hmm. No, I never
thought of it that way.
157
00:07:18,130 --> 00:07:21,030
Besides, it's not a cape
of puppies for miss lillian.
158
00:07:21,040 --> 00:07:26,040
It's a cape
of puppies for mayor cutie.
159
00:07:26,040 --> 00:07:28,440
Here, cape puppy!
160
00:07:30,610 --> 00:07:31,910
[hip-hop music]
161
00:07:31,910 --> 00:07:35,420
We begin with two soups--
one hot, one cold--
162
00:07:35,420 --> 00:07:37,380
Followed
by pheasant under glass,
163
00:07:37,390 --> 00:07:40,890
Succeeded by quails from egypt,
fattened in switzerland,
164
00:07:40,890 --> 00:07:45,190
Their wings mutilated
by the king of siam's personal
165
00:07:45,190 --> 00:07:46,990
- Wing mutilator...
- Yum.
166
00:07:47,000 --> 00:07:47,990
After which rabbit ears,
167
00:07:48,000 --> 00:07:50,260
Which have been chopped
into a salade with...
168
00:07:50,270 --> 00:07:52,370
So how did you two meet?
Was it love at first sight?
169
00:07:52,370 --> 00:07:53,900
How'd dumpling
get the name dumpling?
170
00:07:53,900 --> 00:07:55,470
How'd you get the name celery?
Tell me everything.
171
00:07:55,470 --> 00:07:57,640
Well, me and freddy
met through your mother.
172
00:07:57,640 --> 00:07:59,140
No love yet,
but here's hoping.
173
00:07:59,140 --> 00:08:00,440
Dumpling got his name
because he looks
174
00:08:00,440 --> 00:08:02,140
Like he's filled with potatoes,
and I got the name celery
175
00:08:02,140 --> 00:08:05,750
Because papa always said
I took more energy than I gave.
176
00:08:05,750 --> 00:08:06,350
[gasps]
177
00:08:06,350 --> 00:08:08,480
Father always tells me
I'm an energy-suck as well.
178
00:08:08,480 --> 00:08:11,920
[laughs]
who knew we had
so much in common?
179
00:08:11,920 --> 00:08:13,290
[glasses clink]
180
00:08:13,290 --> 00:08:16,020
Our next course
is a halibut from maine,
181
00:08:16,020 --> 00:08:20,890
Lovingly glazed in
an orange-cranberry mostarda.
182
00:08:20,900 --> 00:08:24,030
I have an awkward question
for you, lillian.
183
00:08:24,030 --> 00:08:26,370
Is that halibut
actually from maine?
184
00:08:26,370 --> 00:08:30,270
Your butler, poopers, just said
it, but I assume he was japing.
185
00:08:30,270 --> 00:08:32,370
Poopers, is that halibut
from maine?
186
00:08:32,370 --> 00:08:35,440
I can almost smell the bearded
fisherman who caught it.
187
00:08:35,440 --> 00:08:36,910
Get rid of that poison!
188
00:08:36,910 --> 00:08:38,880
Garfield,
remove this atrocity at once!
189
00:08:38,880 --> 00:08:42,350
I apologize
one thousand-fold.
190
00:08:49,460 --> 00:08:51,830
You're quite handsome
when you throw out food
191
00:08:51,830 --> 00:08:53,930
A dog has spit out.
192
00:08:53,930 --> 00:08:55,760
Oh, thank you, chair.
193
00:08:55,760 --> 00:08:57,960
Do you ever wonder
what it would be like to taste
194
00:08:57,970 --> 00:08:59,600
One tiny, little bite?
195
00:08:59,600 --> 00:09:01,900
I know I do,
but I'm not as brave as you.
196
00:09:01,900 --> 00:09:05,070
Maybe you could try it
and tell me what it's like.
197
00:09:05,070 --> 00:09:06,270
No, I could never!
198
00:09:06,280 --> 00:09:07,310
It's an unpardonable offense
199
00:09:07,310 --> 00:09:09,910
To eat that which is designated
for the upstairs.
200
00:09:09,910 --> 00:09:11,850
I must throw it
in the garbage.
201
00:09:11,850 --> 00:09:14,780
I'd love to see
just one small morsel
202
00:09:14,780 --> 00:09:19,050
In your perfect
little mouth.
203
00:09:19,050 --> 00:09:20,220
[scoffs]
204
00:09:20,220 --> 00:09:21,890
Well, I...
205
00:09:21,890 --> 00:09:26,460
Guess I could have
one little nibble.
206
00:09:26,460 --> 00:09:28,400
Yes.
207
00:09:30,160 --> 00:09:32,230
It's like
a flaky little cloud!
208
00:09:32,230 --> 00:09:34,000
What did you say
this was called, again?
209
00:09:34,000 --> 00:09:36,470
- Food.
- Well, if this is food,
210
00:09:36,470 --> 00:09:37,970
Then I'm glad
to have tried it.
211
00:09:37,970 --> 00:09:40,910
It makes working for gruel
that much more rewarding,
212
00:09:40,910 --> 00:09:45,250
Knowing that real food is going
to its rightful place, upstairs.
213
00:09:45,250 --> 00:09:48,010
Well, I surely enjoyed
watching you do it.
214
00:09:48,020 --> 00:09:52,920
Well, then I am glad
to have danced with the fire.
215
00:09:55,260 --> 00:09:58,530
[psychedelic music]
216
00:09:58,530 --> 00:10:02,300
♪ ♪
217
00:10:02,300 --> 00:10:05,970
Product of a rape.
218
00:10:05,970 --> 00:10:08,970
A double product of a rape.
219
00:10:08,970 --> 00:10:13,540
Now, you listen to me, girls,
especially you, frederick!
220
00:10:13,540 --> 00:10:18,550
I've never told you this before,
but I love you.
221
00:10:18,550 --> 00:10:20,250
♪ ♪
222
00:10:20,250 --> 00:10:23,320
[grunting]
223
00:10:23,320 --> 00:10:31,090
♪ ♪
224
00:10:40,230 --> 00:10:44,400
Bananas flambé.
225
00:10:48,440 --> 00:10:51,540
- [barks]
- [growling]
226
00:10:51,550 --> 00:10:55,850
They don't like it.
Throw it away. Throw it away.
227
00:11:03,020 --> 00:11:05,430
I'm so sorry.
228
00:11:05,430 --> 00:11:07,990
Celery, I would like
to take this moment, if I may,
229
00:11:08,000 --> 00:11:10,700
To present a gift
to our most esteemed guest.
230
00:11:10,700 --> 00:11:14,270
Oh, lillian, you didn't have
to get me anything.
231
00:11:14,270 --> 00:11:17,900
No, it's for dumpling.
232
00:11:17,910 --> 00:11:19,970
Dumpling...
233
00:11:19,980 --> 00:11:21,310
Please accept this gift
234
00:11:21,310 --> 00:11:25,950
On behalf of the entire
bellacourt family.
235
00:11:25,950 --> 00:11:27,210
(celery)
oh, what a heavenly necklace.
236
00:11:27,220 --> 00:11:29,720
If only dumpling
liked wearing emeralds.
237
00:11:29,720 --> 00:11:32,620
He's finicky,
but he really knows himself.
238
00:11:32,620 --> 00:11:35,120
I admire that about him.
239
00:11:37,190 --> 00:11:38,260
She's been acting this way
240
00:11:38,260 --> 00:11:40,360
Ever since frederick
announced his engagement.
241
00:11:40,360 --> 00:11:42,030
[whispering]
has she done this kind
of thing before?
242
00:11:42,030 --> 00:11:45,670
Once. Frederick invited a
young duchess to the cotillion,
243
00:11:45,670 --> 00:11:49,770
And beatrice buried herself
alive in the radish garden.
244
00:11:49,770 --> 00:11:51,870
But this time
it seems serious.
245
00:11:51,870 --> 00:11:55,010
[bell ringing]
- oh, it's kielbasa time.
246
00:11:55,010 --> 00:11:58,310
I must be going.
I will leave this to you.
247
00:12:03,280 --> 00:12:08,890
Well, I see miss beatrice
is dressed like a little girl.
248
00:12:09,390 --> 00:12:11,120
Baby bea, if you please.
249
00:12:11,130 --> 00:12:13,360
How long have
you been a baby?
250
00:12:13,360 --> 00:12:14,460
Mm-mm-mm.
251
00:12:14,460 --> 00:12:17,530
Was it since
someone hurt you?
252
00:12:17,530 --> 00:12:21,230
And was that person
your brother, freddy?
253
00:12:21,240 --> 00:12:24,470
[psychedelic music]
254
00:12:24,470 --> 00:12:26,140
♪ ♪
255
00:12:26,140 --> 00:12:27,470
Morphine!
256
00:12:27,480 --> 00:12:31,380
♪ ♪
257
00:12:31,380 --> 00:12:32,550
Control yourself, madam!
258
00:12:32,550 --> 00:12:36,980
Damn it, man!
I need my sweet cherry dreams!
259
00:12:36,990 --> 00:12:39,520
I need to waltz
with the white widow!
260
00:12:39,520 --> 00:12:40,490
Don't you remember?
261
00:12:40,490 --> 00:12:45,760
Don't you know the depths that
your addiction has taken you to?
262
00:12:45,760 --> 00:12:48,730
You sucked
my [bleep], madam!
263
00:12:48,730 --> 00:12:50,300
[gasps]
264
00:12:50,300 --> 00:12:53,600
Madam, I cannot allow
such a proposition.
265
00:12:53,600 --> 00:12:57,100
Unbutton!
266
00:12:57,110 --> 00:12:58,270
Oh!
267
00:12:58,270 --> 00:13:00,170
You sucked my [bleep].
268
00:13:00,180 --> 00:13:01,410
I--
269
00:13:05,380 --> 00:13:06,780
Mayor cutie
used to hate champagne,
270
00:13:06,780 --> 00:13:09,250
But then I just didn't give
her water for two weeks,
271
00:13:09,250 --> 00:13:10,150
And now she loves it.
272
00:13:10,150 --> 00:13:11,450
I remember when mother
did that to me.
273
00:13:11,450 --> 00:13:16,090
Speaking of mothers, I'd like
to to apologize for our mother.
274
00:13:16,090 --> 00:13:17,220
You mean
when she urinated on me?
275
00:13:17,230 --> 00:13:19,560
Think nothing of it.
These sorts of things happen.
276
00:13:19,560 --> 00:13:21,490
Well, I just want to make sure
that you understand
277
00:13:21,500 --> 00:13:24,360
That the bellacourts, except for
hortense, are a wonderful family
278
00:13:24,370 --> 00:13:28,200
With high ethics
and christian values.
279
00:13:28,200 --> 00:13:30,570
- Hi, frederick.
- Aah!
280
00:13:30,570 --> 00:13:32,210
Beatrice.
281
00:13:32,210 --> 00:13:39,710
♪ daddy wouldn't buy me
a bow-wow, bow-wow ♪
282
00:13:39,710 --> 00:13:41,820
♪ I've got a little cat-- ♪
[meows]
283
00:13:41,820 --> 00:13:44,620
♪ and I'm very fond of that-- ♪
[barking]
284
00:13:44,620 --> 00:13:48,350
♪ but I'd rather
have a bow-wow-wow ♪
285
00:13:48,360 --> 00:13:55,430
♪ daddy wouldn't buy me
a bow-wow ♪
286
00:13:55,430 --> 00:13:57,360
- Beatrice.
- Remember this song?
287
00:13:57,370 --> 00:13:59,170
Remember this song?
This was our song.
288
00:13:59,170 --> 00:14:03,400
♪ daddy wouldn't buy me
a bow-wow ♪
289
00:14:05,240 --> 00:14:06,640
Okay, that is quite enough
of that.
290
00:14:06,640 --> 00:14:09,280
This is inappropriate
and highly erotic.
291
00:14:09,280 --> 00:14:10,510
I am an engaged man.
292
00:14:10,510 --> 00:14:12,380
Also,
she is your sister.
293
00:14:12,380 --> 00:14:15,680
Yes, there is that
as well.
294
00:14:15,680 --> 00:14:18,180
Fine!
295
00:14:27,190 --> 00:14:28,730
[hip-hop music]
296
00:14:29,460 --> 00:14:31,230
I hope that my sister
straddling my lap
297
00:14:31,230 --> 00:14:33,300
Was not the worst thing
you have ever seen.
298
00:14:33,300 --> 00:14:35,570
I assure you, it is not.
299
00:14:35,570 --> 00:14:36,500
The worst thing I ever saw
300
00:14:36,500 --> 00:14:38,640
Was an elephant
being hanged for no other reason
301
00:14:38,640 --> 00:14:41,640
Than to amuse a large crowd
on a hot summer afternoon.
302
00:14:41,640 --> 00:14:45,210
Oh, summer really
is the best time for a hanging.
303
00:14:45,210 --> 00:14:46,680
Well, the beast
304
00:14:46,680 --> 00:14:50,480
Was given large quantities
of ether prior to the execution.
305
00:14:50,490 --> 00:14:52,250
Chains were placed
around its neck
306
00:14:52,250 --> 00:14:55,290
To draw upon his windpipe
and choke him to death.
307
00:14:55,290 --> 00:14:56,390
Well, as the derrick rose,
308
00:14:56,390 --> 00:14:57,590
The beast
let out a terrific scream
309
00:14:57,590 --> 00:15:01,530
From paralysis
of the spinal cord
and was dead within minutes.
310
00:15:01,530 --> 00:15:05,730
There was blood
everywhere.
311
00:15:05,730 --> 00:15:06,870
[giggles]
312
00:15:06,870 --> 00:15:09,670
[laughing wildly]
313
00:15:09,670 --> 00:15:11,470
[laughter]
314
00:15:11,470 --> 00:15:14,240
Oh, well, I hope
you brought a picnic.
315
00:15:14,240 --> 00:15:15,880
Tell me,
how much blood do you suppose
316
00:15:15,880 --> 00:15:17,940
Could be drained
from an elephant?
317
00:15:17,950 --> 00:15:19,450
I believe enough
for a canoe ride.
318
00:15:19,450 --> 00:15:24,450
Can you imagine canoeing
on a lake of elephant blood?
319
00:15:24,450 --> 00:15:27,750
I believe
it would be magical.
320
00:15:28,320 --> 00:15:30,760
I believe it would be magical
as well.
321
00:15:30,760 --> 00:15:31,930
Lillian, once upon a time,
322
00:15:31,930 --> 00:15:35,530
I thought you were
a useless, unlovable, vile,
323
00:15:35,530 --> 00:15:36,460
Tacky little thing.
324
00:15:36,460 --> 00:15:38,100
But now I see
you are quite amusing.
325
00:15:38,100 --> 00:15:42,700
Oh, celery, I've been wanting
to be your friend for 30 years,
326
00:15:42,700 --> 00:15:45,240
And I'm only 27.
327
00:15:45,240 --> 00:15:48,370
Today means the world to me.
328
00:15:49,110 --> 00:15:51,410
I wanted to ask you
a little question.
329
00:15:51,410 --> 00:15:53,450
Oh, garfieldella,
if it's a girl.
330
00:15:53,450 --> 00:15:56,850
And, of course, peepers junior,
were we to have a son.
331
00:15:56,850 --> 00:15:59,620
Not my question,
but I'm glad to know it.
332
00:15:59,620 --> 00:16:01,790
I was wondering
if you had an extra key
333
00:16:01,790 --> 00:16:02,860
To dodo's morphine cabinet.
334
00:16:02,860 --> 00:16:05,830
I wanted to impress you and show
you how clean I can make it.
335
00:16:05,830 --> 00:16:08,430
Why yes, of--of course,
as underbutler,
336
00:16:08,430 --> 00:16:10,000
It is my privilege
to carry that key.
337
00:16:10,000 --> 00:16:12,600
Can I borrow it?
It will only take an hour.
338
00:16:12,600 --> 00:16:13,900
I'll make it shine.
339
00:16:13,900 --> 00:16:14,730
Oh, I'm sorry, chair,
340
00:16:14,740 --> 00:16:17,670
But it would be breaking one of
the cardinal rules of the house,
341
00:16:17,670 --> 00:16:19,710
Letting a woman hold a key.
342
00:16:19,710 --> 00:16:21,740
I know you can break
the rules.
343
00:16:21,740 --> 00:16:22,980
I saw you try
the halibut.
344
00:16:22,980 --> 00:16:25,910
Halibut is one thing,
but heroin is quite another.
345
00:16:25,910 --> 00:16:28,580
Now, I don't expect you
to understand the difference,
346
00:16:28,580 --> 00:16:32,750
But one is a drug,
and the other is fish.
347
00:16:32,750 --> 00:16:33,790
Please?
348
00:16:33,790 --> 00:16:39,630
You're such a big,
strong underbutler.
349
00:16:45,730 --> 00:16:49,670
Romantic fraternization
between the staff
350
00:16:49,670 --> 00:16:52,370
Is the ultimate
rule violation.
351
00:16:52,370 --> 00:16:53,540
This is a terrible thing
to say
352
00:16:53,540 --> 00:16:56,080
To the hopeful future mother
of my children,
353
00:16:56,080 --> 00:16:58,980
But I am going to have
to report you.
354
00:16:58,980 --> 00:17:02,580
I will never, ever forget
this moment.
355
00:17:07,990 --> 00:17:10,790
Neither will I.
356
00:17:10,790 --> 00:17:12,190
Sorry?
357
00:17:12,190 --> 00:17:14,360
- No, nothing.
- Oh.
358
00:17:14,360 --> 00:17:17,730
I thought I heard
you say, "neither will I."
359
00:17:17,730 --> 00:17:18,600
No.
360
00:17:18,600 --> 00:17:22,470
Right.
Well, off to report you.
361
00:17:22,470 --> 00:17:25,710
Thank you
very much, again.
362
00:17:27,010 --> 00:17:29,210
You've had quite an adventure
tonight, madam.
363
00:17:29,210 --> 00:17:33,350
All that exercise
is bad for the uterus.
364
00:17:36,650 --> 00:17:37,950
- Sir?
- What is it, chair?
365
00:17:37,950 --> 00:17:41,890
I'm afraid I have a terribly
important issue to discuss.
366
00:17:41,890 --> 00:17:43,390
What is it?
367
00:17:43,390 --> 00:17:45,890
Have you counted
the towels recently?
368
00:17:45,890 --> 00:17:47,890
I believe one is missing.
369
00:17:47,900 --> 00:17:50,100
Madam, please excuse me
for a moment
370
00:17:50,100 --> 00:17:51,100
While I tend to our guests.
371
00:17:51,100 --> 00:17:55,200
It seems dumpling is not pleased
with our digestif selection.
372
00:17:55,200 --> 00:17:59,640
Chair will continue
mopping your junkie sweats.
373
00:18:04,140 --> 00:18:08,950
My lady, if you are in need of
just a touch of your morphine,
374
00:18:08,950 --> 00:18:11,980
You need only ask.
375
00:18:11,990 --> 00:18:13,550
Do you miss it?
376
00:18:13,560 --> 00:18:14,520
What I miss
are the days
377
00:18:14,520 --> 00:18:16,690
When if a servant
asked you a question,
378
00:18:16,690 --> 00:18:19,760
You could have
their tongue cut out.
379
00:18:19,760 --> 00:18:24,100
797, 798, 799.
380
00:18:24,100 --> 00:18:26,700
I have counted these towels
13 times,
381
00:18:26,700 --> 00:18:29,940
And each time
the number is 799.
382
00:18:29,940 --> 00:18:32,540
Bellacourt manor
is an 800-towel estate.
383
00:18:32,540 --> 00:18:34,270
Whomever stole the towel,
please step forward.
384
00:18:34,280 --> 00:18:38,540
You'll be fired immediately,
no questions asked.
385
00:18:41,880 --> 00:18:43,780
- Garfield.
- Hmm?
386
00:18:43,790 --> 00:18:46,550
Garfield,
empty your breast.
387
00:18:50,190 --> 00:18:52,690
Is that a towel I see?
388
00:18:52,690 --> 00:18:54,660
Who?
389
00:18:54,660 --> 00:18:55,830
This is towel?
390
00:18:55,830 --> 00:18:58,500
Chair gave her to me.
391
00:18:58,500 --> 00:18:59,770
And she kissed me.
392
00:18:59,770 --> 00:19:00,930
[all snickering]
393
00:19:00,940 --> 00:19:03,600
Enough!
It is stolen property!
394
00:19:03,610 --> 00:19:05,000
Garfield leopold mcgillicutty,
395
00:19:05,010 --> 00:19:08,840
You are hereby stripped of all
duties befitting an underbutler.
396
00:19:08,840 --> 00:19:10,110
Please remove your uniform
397
00:19:10,110 --> 00:19:12,180
And vacate the premises
immediately.
398
00:19:12,180 --> 00:19:15,080
You may pick up the clothes
you wore when you arrived.
399
00:19:15,080 --> 00:19:18,020
But when I came here,
I was six years old.
400
00:19:18,020 --> 00:19:20,850
Yes, back
when I saw something in you,
401
00:19:20,860 --> 00:19:26,030
Something
that reminded me of...
402
00:19:26,030 --> 00:19:30,100
Servants, turn away.
403
00:19:31,130 --> 00:19:35,170
Nicholas, bang the pot.
404
00:19:35,170 --> 00:19:36,140
[metal clanks]
405
00:19:36,140 --> 00:19:38,740
Dead man walking.
406
00:19:38,740 --> 00:19:39,710
[metal clanks]
407
00:19:39,710 --> 00:19:42,210
Slower, nick, slower.
408
00:19:42,210 --> 00:19:45,780
[metal clanks]
409
00:19:46,850 --> 00:19:49,650
[zipper opens]
410
00:19:53,220 --> 00:19:55,190
Go, boy.
411
00:19:55,190 --> 00:19:59,660
Go and find your way
in this wicked world.
412
00:19:59,660 --> 00:20:02,060
[garfield crying]
413
00:20:05,700 --> 00:20:07,000
[hip-hop music]
414
00:20:07,000 --> 00:20:10,500
Well, I'm off to meet
and impress celery's family.
415
00:20:10,510 --> 00:20:12,240
Thank you
for your hospitality, lillian.
416
00:20:12,240 --> 00:20:13,770
Oh, if you're ever in need
of a plus-one
417
00:20:13,780 --> 00:20:16,080
To an elephant hanging,
you know who to call.
418
00:20:16,080 --> 00:20:17,380
I won't hesitate!
419
00:20:17,380 --> 00:20:19,810
You know,
you may have strange sisters,
420
00:20:19,810 --> 00:20:21,010
And your mother
is quite awful,
421
00:20:21,020 --> 00:20:22,750
And your brother seems to have
an erotic relationship
422
00:20:22,750 --> 00:20:25,750
To elephant death
and his own sister, but you...
423
00:20:25,750 --> 00:20:29,060
I like you, lillian.
You throw one hell of a party.
424
00:20:29,060 --> 00:20:32,960
Let's grab tea
or an aperitif this week.
425
00:20:37,760 --> 00:20:38,400
Okay!
426
00:20:38,400 --> 00:20:40,000
Well, the party
had some slight hiccups,
427
00:20:40,000 --> 00:20:41,430
What with beatrice's
nervous-breakdown incest
428
00:20:41,440 --> 00:20:46,710
Striptease, but in the end,
celery seemed really impressed.
429
00:20:46,710 --> 00:20:47,440
What can I say?
430
00:20:47,440 --> 00:20:49,680
I throw one hell of a party.
431
00:20:49,680 --> 00:20:50,380
[barks]
432
00:20:50,380 --> 00:20:55,110
♪ daddy wouldn't buy me
a bow-wow ♪
433
00:20:55,120 --> 00:20:58,280
♪ daddy wouldn't buy me
a bow-wow ♪
434
00:20:58,290 --> 00:21:03,160
♪ I've got a little cat,
I'm very fond of that ♪
435
00:21:07,590 --> 00:21:09,330
(man)
next time on another period...
436
00:21:09,330 --> 00:21:10,500
I will cherish this
forever!
437
00:21:10,500 --> 00:21:14,700
(woman)
♪ you'll always be
my best friend ♪
438
00:21:14,700 --> 00:21:17,170
♪ you'll always be ♪
439
00:21:17,170 --> 00:21:20,510
♪ my best friend ♪
32024
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