Original subtitles

Honey?

We just got the first guitar in from our new supplier.

It only cost us 10 bucks.

How do they make a guitar so cheap?

They don't, you do.

The instructions are right there.

They're in Korean.

Good luck!

Or I should say...

Guess who got a job at Puffy's Pillows?

Best job ever.

Wow! I've never seen you so excited about a job before.

I demonstrate how comfy the pillows are

by sleeping on them all day.

It's my dream job, I literally get paid to dream.

Hey, guys, great news!

Starr records is going to produce our next music video.

Whoo!

- And I'm directing it. - Way to go!

I thought Jimmy Starr only worked with big-name video directors.

How'd you convince him to hire you?

Dez pitched him this amazing concept for the video.

It's about first love.

I'm going to set it in an amusement park,

because love is like a ride,

it's exciting, scary and dizzying,

and in the end, you just want to throw up.

You've never been in love, have you?

No, but I have thrown up a lot.

Trish, can you get us an amusement park?

I think we need permits for that. It could take forever.

Maybe we wouldn't need permits if we knew someone

who could get a job at an amusement park.

Someone who gets new jobs really easily.

Mmm?

Someone who seems to get a new job every day.

- I'm talking to you, Trish. - Oh, come on!

I'm getting paid to sleep. I've never been better at a job.

- Please, Trish! - Pretty please!

Fine. I'll get fired from Puffy's Pillows

- and get a job a Phil's Fun Town. - Yes!

I'll just sleep when Dez tells me about his day, like I normally do.

Thanks, Trish.

Wait, what?

Finished! That wasn't as hard as I thought.

Whoa! Cool guitar. Let me try.

Maybe these weren't extra screws. Ehh!

♪ When the crowd wants more I bring on the thunder ♪

♪ 'Cause you got my back And I'm not going under ♪

♪ You're my point, you're my guard ♪ You're the perfect chord ♪

♪ And I see our names together On every billboard ♪

♪ Headed for the top Got it on lock ♪

♪ We'll make 'em say "Hey!" ♪

♪ And we'll keep rocking ♪

♪ Oh, there's no way I can make it without you ♪

♪ Do it without you Be here without you ♪

♪ It's no fun When you're doing it solo ♪

♪ With you it's like, "Whoa" Yeah, and I know ♪

♪ I own this dream ♪

♪ 'Cause I got you with me ♪

♪ There's no way I can make it without you ♪

♪ Do it without you Be here without you ♪

Keep your hands and feet inside the car,

no throwing food at the top,

no standing, no rocking,

and finally, are either of you pregnant?

I have to ask.

Enjoy the wheel of terror.

Okay, we'll start shooting as soon as the actress

who plays Austin's girlfriend shows up.

Man, how fun is Phil's Fun Town?

I've spent the morning scraping gum off the carousel horses.

There's nothing fun about this job, unicorn boy.

Why would you call me unicorn...

Oh, unicorn boy. I get it.

Great idea making Ally the wardrobe girl.

Your clothes are all crooked.

Hmm. Looked great in the dressing-room mirror.

All right, we're no longer using the fun house as a dressing room.

- Wardrobe! - Coming!

Fix Austin's clothes and ask the makeup girl why his face is so shiny.

We don't have a makeup girl.

Oh. Okay, well, from now on, you can be the makeup girl.

Why is his face so shiny?

Whoa.

Who's that?

That's Kira. She's playing your girlfriend.

She's flawless.

Hi, Austin, I'm Kira. I'm such a huge fan.

Hi, nice to meet you.

Okay, she's got one flaw.

Her breath reeks.

I'm sure it's not that bad.

Okay, Kira, our first scene's going to be on the Ferris wheel.

Ooh, how exciting!

Ahh! Yes! It is exciting.

Our wardrobe girl Ally will be right with you.

Okay, it is that bad. Maybe we should say something.

You guys can't do that. It'll hurt her feelings.

She's hurting my nose's feelings.

Go talk to her. You'll see.

Hey, Kira, I'm Ally, the wardrobe girl.

- Oh, is that for me? - No!

It's for me. My nose is always cold.

Ha!

Okay, her breath is not as fresh as it could be,

but I still don't think we should say anything.

Austin, she looks great on camera

and it's only a two-day shoot.

Just deal with it.

Trish, we're ready to roll!

Attention, the wheel of terror ride is now closed.

Please vacate the area.

No fair!

I've been waiting here for an hour.

You can't close the ride!

Aw, now you're too short.

You couldn't have gotten on the ride anyway.

Fine, but I want the face of this sad child

stuck in your brain.

I'll file it with the others.

Okay, guys, remember, you're in love.

So I want you nose to nose, gazing into each other's eyes.

Do we have to be nose to nose? Can't we be back to back?

No! That is not my vision.

Trish, start her up.

Enjoy the wheel of terror.

And action!

Okay, Trish, when it gets to the top, I want you to slow it down

so I can see their faces as they come around.

You can do that, can't you?

I don't know, 'cause pulling a lever is so hard.

Huh! It's harder than it looks.

Why did we stop?

I don't know.

But I hope it's not for long 'cause I'm scared of heights.

Ah... we probably shouldn't sit too close.

If the car gets imbalanced, we'll fall,

and it'll be a horrible breath... I mean death.

Okay, now I'm really scared.

You'll be fine. Just take deep breaths.

Okay, take small breaths, really small breaths.

What's the hold up down there?

Trish is on the phone with maintenance.

I'm sure they'll be here any minute.

More like any hour. The maintenance man

is still fixing the roller coaster I broke earlier.

It's gonna be an hour.

No!

Yes!

And then when I turned seven,

my dad got me a new cat to replace Mr. Whiskers.

Sorry I'm babbling. Talking helps to calm me down.

Are you crying?

That last story really got to me.

I can't imagine why Mr. Whiskers would run away from you.

I don't know either.

He had it so good. Every night,

I would hold his little face to mine and sing to him.

- Do you want to hear the song? - No! No no.

♪ Happy little kitty, ha, ha, ha ♪

♪ Quiet little kitty, hush, hush, hush! ♪

Thank you, Mr. Maintenance man.

Oh, oh! I'm out! Whoo!

Sweet, sweet freedom.

Thank you so much for getting us down.

What can I do to repay you?

Uh...

Don't say another word and we'll call it even.

I can't go on any more rides with Kira.

Dez, you've got to get a new girl!

You can't, Dez. You don't understand how fragile a girl's ego is.

If you make her feel insecure, she'll die inside.

I think something already died inside.

I'm gonna get Kira ready for the next scene,

'cause I know you're going to do the right thing and not replace her.

Forget about her feelings.

I can't replace her, we're about to shoot the two of you

in the big hamster-ball ride.

Hamster ball?

Are you crazy?

You want me in an air-tight bubble with

her?

Yes.

The hamster ball represents your own little world of love.

It's like you share the same heart...

Breathe the same air.

I don't want to breathe the same air.

I know you don't, but I love the passion. Use that in the scene.

Help! Help!

Guys, the zipper broke!

Ally's stuck in the hamster ball with Kira.

Hang on, Ally!

Oh, no!

Ahhh!

Oh! Help!

Hey, maintenance guy!

Help again!

Help! Help!

Help!

I was wrong. You gotta replace her.

That's what I've been saying. Dez, you've got to do this.

Let me think. If we cast a new girl before we shoot tomorrow,

I can cut her on the stuff we've already shot and...

Kira, we need to talk.

You don't need to use the bullhorn.

I don't want to talk to her up close.

Here comes the head of your record label.

Jimmy's here?

- Sweetie! - Daddy!

Jimmy is Kira's dad?

Aw, man, you know what that means?

She'll have a ride home after we fire her?

No, it means we can't fire her.

No!

Yes!

Jimmy!

We didn't know Kira was your daughter.

I wanted her to get the part on her own.

Well, let me tell you, she takes our breath away.

I've always known she was talented,

ever since she sang to that cat before he ran away.

Aw, daddy!

How can you stand that?

That we're keeping your little angel away from you?

We talk a lot on the phone.

I wish we had that option.

Listen, Dez, I'm taking a big chance putting you in charge of this video.

I expect great things.

Show me around the set, sweetie.

Okay.

Well, over here is the bottle toss. If you look...

I was talking to my daughter.

What are we gonna do? The big kissing scene is coming up.

All we have to do is freshen Kira's breath without her knowing.

I agree, but you gotta be subtle.

Please! I know how to be subtle.

Mints! Get your free mints here.

Aw, man, none left for us.

- Lucky for you there's one left. - I call it!

Here, Kira, I got you a corn dog.

A little mustard, a little special sauce.

Hey, look, someone just won a goldfish.

Enjoy.

Uh, no thanks.

Corn dogs are gross.

I'm just gonna eat this garlic and anchovy pizza instead.

Ha! Hot.

Here's the mouthwash.

- Hope this works. - I hope you pour faster.

Go go go!

I'm going. Don't tell me what to do.

Okay, now you're both having fun at the squirt-gun booth.

And action!

Kira, turn to Austin and give him a big open-mouthed smile.

Wider.

Wider! Wider!

Ah! Hey!

You're silly.

We can't get Kira to freshen her breath. Nothing's working.

That girl can't take a hint or a mint.

What are we going to do? We can't fire her.

Plan b, we're going to get her to quit by making me seem disgusting.

I'm going to drool all over her.

I'm attaching this drool tube to Austin's cheek

using this fake piece of skin.

You won't even know he has it on.

A little bit here, a little to the left,

a lot to the right. Here and...

Check it out!

Ew!

Awesome!

All right, time for the kissing scene.

Ally, go get Kira.

Trish, you shut down the tubs o' fun ride.

The tubs o' fun ride is now closed.

Please vacate the area.

Again?

You're destroying my childhood memories!

Memories are overrated. Stop living in the past.

Go on.

All right, I'm fighting the clock this'll be the last shot of the day.

And action!

You're two kids in love. You're in a bucket.

Now kiss!

Ah!

- What's wrong? - Uh, nothing.

All right, let's try this again.

Austin, lean in for the kiss.

I'm sorry, I can't do this.

I, uh, forgot that I don't want to be an actress.

Yay!

- It worked! - Ew!

You heard her. She doesn't even want to be an actress.

We didn't need the drool tube after all.

Girls!

Oh, hi. Excuse me. Hello.

What are all these girls doing here?

We're recasting Austin's girlfriend for the video.

It may take a while. Austin and Dez are being really picky this time.

Breathe, please.

Next.

I don't even want to know.

Austin, I heard what happened.

You did?

How could you not tell me you have a drooling problem?

What?

Kira told me you drool.

It's okay, son.

I too was a drooler.

Uh, well,

then you must know, it's been hard.

We know it bothered Kira, but don't worry.

We're recasting now so we can finish the video.

Forget it. Thank you for coming, ladies.

Austin, there's someone here who wants to apologize.

Austin.

I'm sorry for quitting.

I shouldn't have been so insensitive about your drooling problem.

Um, that... that's okay.

So good news! I've decided to finish the video.

Great.

Now we can do the kissing scene.

You better not enjoy it.

Oh, trust me, I won't.

My daughter's reaction made me realize

that your drooling story needs to be told.

It does?

I've arranged for you to speak to the kids' club of Miami this afternoon.

Tell them how drooling didn't keep you from achieving your dreams.

Well, it didn't.

Right.

Let's go, Kira.

Perfect! Now I have to kiss Kira

and let the whole world know I have a disgusting drooling problem.

It's okay, buddy.

We'll get through this drooling problem together.

I don't have a drooling problem!

But you clearly have some anger problems.

It's probably a side effect of the drooling problem.

Ladies and gentlemen, Austin Moon!

Thank you.

Austin's about to give his speech to the kids' club of Miami.

- Is his drooling rig ready? - Yep, the tank's all full.

It took me hours to fill it up with my drool.

Why didn't you just fill it up with water?

Hi, kids, I'm Austin Moon,

and I drool... A lot!

But I didn't let that stop me from pursuing my dreams.

Whoo!

Now that is inspiring. Whoo!

Give him a little more drool. The kids can barely see it.

Oh, trust me, he's going to get a lot more drool.

No, seriously, this knob just came off in my hand.

Fix it!

If you work hard and don't give up,

success will flow out of you like a river.

Eww!

Ahh!

It's those kind of reactions that you have to rise above.

Austin, what's going on?

Jimmy!

Look, Jimmy, the truth is...

I don't actually have a drooling problem.

No, really?

The tube dangling from your face kind of gave it away.

Sorry, Jimmy.

We lied about the drooling so Kira would quit the video.

Austin didn't want to kiss her 'cause...

She has bad breath.

Bad breath?

We're talking really bad.

On a scale of one to 10, 87.

At least. 89, really bad.

How could you not know?

Well, when I was eight, I had a procedure to fix my drooling,

took away my sense of smell.

So you don't smell anything right now?

Nope.

Dez, we can still smell.

Gross!

I'm sorry, Jimmy. We should have been honest,

but we didn't want to hurt Kira's feelings.

And you're not going to hurt them now.

I'll deal with her breath later, but we've got a video to finish tonight.

You'd better figure something out.

Wait! I know how we can do the kissing scene.

♪ Walked up to you It was a Grey December Monday ♪

♪ Asked for directions on the street ♪

♪ Do you remember It was cold and it was raining ♪

♪ But it felt like summertime to me ♪

♪ 'Cause when you opened up your mouth ♪

♪ It was like sunshine coming out ♪

♪ You changed the world Outside my window ♪

♪ Right there You blew my heart away ♪

♪ And I remember when I met you ♪

♪ Thinking that you are not An ordinary girl ♪

♪ This wasn't gonna be No ordinary day ♪

♪ Yeah ♪

♪ Ordinary day ♪

♪ No, no ordinary day ay, ay, ay, ay ♪

♪ No ordinary day ♪

♪ Oh yeah ♪

♪ No ordinary day ♪

Wow, the video looks great, Dez.

- Thanks. I heard Jimmy likes it. - He loves it.

I really appreciate you guys wearing those masks

so I don't catch your colds.

No problem.

- Very sick. - So contagious.

I know why your cat ran away.

I hope you guys had fun, 'cause I just got fired.

What happened?

Somebody complained about me.

I wonder who.

Hey, look, a photo booth.

Let's take some pictures so we don't forget this day.

Oh, great idea.

Not of the photo booth!

Us in the photo booth.

Come on.

- Scooch over! - Move over!

- Smile! - Yeah!

♪ No ordinary day ♪

♪ Oh yeah ♪

♪ No ordinary day ♪