All language subtitles for yes_dear_s05e06_wont_ask_wont_tell

Hey, Jimmy. Hey, Kim.

Any big plans for your day off today?

Uh, yeah, if I can finish this next
level of Crash Bandicoot, I'm gonna

the afternoon fighting the Germans.

What, did you get a World War II game?

No, the Von Goetz is next door. Their
damn dog keeps barking all night.

Jimmy, are you sure you want to play
video games? It's a beautiful, sunny

Yeah, tell me about it. I had to put
newspaper on the window to keep the sun

glare off the TV.

Yeah, Kim, you might want to pull up
your pants a little. I can see your

underwear.

Oh, yeah, I know.

I have to take my car into the
dealership today, and I was hoping to

the mechanic from the fact that the
warranty ran out three weeks ago.

Hey, tell me something. How much can you
see when I accidentally drop my keys?

Uh, yeah.

Yeah, I think you're going to be all
right.

Does your husband know you do this kind
of thing to get a discount?

Are you kidding?

That tightwad?

Who do you think drew the butterfly
tattoo on the crack of my ass?

Hello. Hey, it's me.

Hey, what's up?

Oh, I just had a few minutes. I thought
I'd call and see how your day off was

going. It's pretty good. Just picking up
around the house, you know.

I wish I could do the same.

Today has been a total nightmare.

I mean, first, the copier broke, right?
You have no idea what a hassle that is.

Uh -huh. Plus, my computer about to
survive.

I got my patches to try and fix it.

Uh -huh. And even though my computer's
down...

Uh -huh.

Uh -huh.

Great, so you think that's a good idea,
too?

Uh... Yeah, I mean, if... If you think

it's a good idea, then so do I.

All right, so you'll take care of that
for me, then?

Uh, yeah, sure.

Oh.

Thank you so much, honey. You're gonna
save me so much time.

You know what? I gotta go. That's Greg's
phone.

Okay, bye -bye.

I'm going out of the driveway and I
realize that I have a black tire.

Where are you going?

To put on a push -up bra. Our AAA guy's
a boob man.

Watch out, sir! You got a wife that
keeps in love with you.

Yes, sir! She's sending all her broken
photos to you. Yes, sir! And you live

your life the best you can.

Yes, sir! See your family through
something grand.

Yes, sir! It's family, it's family, it's
family. Yes, sir!

It's family, it's family, it's family.

was the sexiest assistant on the lot?

I don't know. Last time I saw her, she
was coming out of Savitsky's office

wearing a sweater inside out.

What are you doing here on your day off?

Well, you know, after you called me this
morning, I just, I started to miss you.

Really? Yeah, you know, it's weird, but
the way you called and told me to do

that thing, you just sounded so sexy on
the phone, you know?

Wade just kind of, like, ordered me
around. It was so, so hot.

Do it again.

What? Tell me what you told me this
morning.

You said to do it just like you did it
before.

It's so, so sexy.

Jimmy, seriously, you need to... Oh.

Okay, stop it, stop it.

But remember that spot.

Come on, Christine, order me around.

Jimmy, I am at work.

So what? We've done it at every job
you've ever had.

Okay, and you worked as a school
crossing guard.

Come on, leave me alone. I got a lot of
work to do.

Fine, I'll go say hi to Greg.

I'm sorry to say you've changed,
Christine.

I don't know what happened to my wild
woman with an orange vest and a whole

little stop sign, but if you see her,
tell her Jay Walker needs a spanking.

What are you doing here on your day off?
Greg, I'm in serious trouble and I need

your help.

Would you lose your wedding ring at
Hooters again?

That was one time and I didn't lose it.
I accidentally swallowed it, sucking

wing sauce off my finger.

Charming. Listen, anyway, Christine
called me this morning to talk, okay?

But I was playing PlayStation, so I
wasn't really listening.

Well, next thing I know, I agreed to do
something, but I don't know what it is I

agreed to. Yeah.

I tune Kim out all the time. It drives
her crazy.

Last month, she called the house, and
instead of listening to her, I was

preoccupied with something on my
computer.

It's just so hard, you know?

They talk so much.

Look, I don't think you have a choice. I
think you're just going to have to tell

her the truth. No, I can't.

We already got into an argument about
this last week.

Christine asked me to help Dominic with
his homework, but I was really busy

concentrating on something else.

Football game?

No, E! True Hollywood Story, The Barbie
Twins.

Anyway, I forgot to help Dominic with
his homework, and Christine yelled at me

for like an hour.

That's what I think she was yelling at
me about. I kind of tuned her out after

while.

Well, look, why don't I ask her to come
in here, and that way you can go look at

her desk.

She's pretty organized. I'm sure
whatever she wanted you to do is written

somewhere on her calendar.

Yeah, you know, it's worth a shot.

Christine, can I see you a second?

I'll be right there.

Look, I'll keep her tied up in here
while you go look on our desk for her to

list. All right, thanks, Greg. And while
you're there, can you flip it over to

October 16th and put a big circle around
it? Yeah, why? Because that's Boss's

Day, and this year I don't want to be
the only idiot on the elevator without a

balloon.

Okay, I'll be back. I'm just going to go
call somebody.

Why don't you use Gretel?

No.

Not on the phone. Just... Just call.

Hey, Steve!

What do you need?

I need you to help me, um... feng shui
my office.

Feng Shui, you're off. Yeah, I've been
reading a lot about it, how the way

furniture is arranged in a room can pump
up your productivity and even affect

your mood.

Yeah, I don't know, Greg. It sounds kind
of stupid.

Yeah, but is that you talking or is that
the negative energy in the air because

that chair's facing west?

Or are you talking out of your ass
because you're not facing reality?

Come on, let's just try it real fast.
Take that plant over there and put it by

the window on that table and see if we
can create a better vibe in here because

it's tense in here right now. I can just
really feel it.

A little further.

A couple more inches.

A little bit further.

Stop. Stop.

What do you think?

I think you smoked some of this plant
before I came in here.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. We're not
done yet. Let's just move the couch.

Let's just move the couch a little bit.

You know what? You know what? I think
the couch is probably pretty good where

is.

Are we done with this? Because we'd like
to get back to work. Look at that. We

moved one plant and already you're being
more productive. Go get them, sister.

So, did you find out what she wanted you
to do? Yeah, I wrote down everything on

her to -do list, but I just don't know
which one I'm supposed to do.

So, do all of them. That way you'll get
credit for doing what she wanted you to

do, plus you'll look great because you
did everything else.

Perfect.

Hey, how did you keep Christine in here
while I was out of her death?

I told her I wanted to do feng shui in
my office.

Oh, yeah, I mean, who wouldn't?

Unfortunately, I think she's still
married to Woody Allen.

Today was a very good day.

What happened?

Well, I called Jimmy at home this
morning.

Hello. Hey, it's me.

Hey, what's up?

Oh, I just had a few minutes. I thought
I'd call and see how your day off was

going. Oh, it's pretty good. Just
picking up around the house, you know.

Wish I could say the same.

Today has been a total nightmare.

First, the copier broke, right? You have
no idea what a hassle that is.

Uh -huh. Plus, my computer got this
virus, so I'm going to lose half my day

downloading patches to try and fix it.

Uh -huh. And even though my computer's
down, Greg still needs me to organize

the budget reports for the month.
Anyway, I'm going to be working late

What do you think we should do about
dinner?

Uh -huh.

Jimmy.

You're not listening to me, are you?

Jimmy, have you been having sex dreams
about you and James Earl Jones?

Uh -huh.

Uh -huh.

Great! So, you think that's a good idea,
too?

Uh... Yeah, I mean, if... If you think

it's a good idea, then, uh...

So do I.

Great. Great. So you'll take care of
that for me then?

Uh, yeah.

Sure. Oh, thank you so much, honey.
You're saving me so much time. Oh, you

what? There's Greg's phone. Gotta go.
Bye.

You're evil.

Yep. There's nothing like a little
revenge.

You know, I have him so confused that he
actually came by on his day off and had

your idiot husband try and help him.

Christine, can I see you for a second?

I'll be right there.

I'll keep her in here while you go look
on her desk for her.

Lucky for me, Greg doesn't know how to
use the intercom system.

He's not a real whiz when it comes to
technology.

I gave him a camera phone for his
birthday.

Every time he tries to check his
messages, he emails me a picture of his

Yeah, well, I'm sick of Jimmy wasting my
time and not listening to me, so I

wrote a little to -do list that should
keep him pretty busy.

Isn't it great how we can use guilt to
make them do work?

Anytime Greg wants to play golf, the
first thing he does is dust the entire

living room.

Jimmy rubs my feet.

Idiot.

Hey, ladies.

Hey.

What's all that?

I was just out running some errands and
picking up some dry cleaning.

Great.

Also, while I... was out, I, uh, I went
grocery shopping.

Terrific.

And, uh, actually, I did something you
may or may not have expected. I, uh,

picked up some picture frames.

Oh, fantastic. Honey, they're perfect.
Thank you so much.

Yeah.

That's right.

I got the picture frames.

You are so thoughtful. Oh, Christine,
come on. You are my wife.

Paying attention to you and your needs
is important to me.

Thanks, honey.

You're the best.

Oh,

and you're still going to do that other
thing we talked about this morning,

right?

Yeah, I'm going to get that done.

This is the greatest thing ever.

Hey, do you think you could get him to
vacuum out my minivan? Hey, Geppetto,

your own puppet.

Hey, how'd it go with Christine?

Terrible. Your idea didn't work.

I did everything on a to -do list, but
whatever she asked me to do wasn't on

Well, now that I think about it... If
she asked you to do it, she probably

wouldn't put it on her to -do list.

You couldn't figure that out before I
broke the third of my ten personal

commandments?

Thou shalt not enter the yarn barn?

Relax, I'm sure whatever she wants you
to do is going to come out eventually.

Yeah, but what if it's something time
-specific and I miss it?

Well, you could hint around some more.

I also know what I'm up to.

Why don't you try getting her drunk?

Please, that won't work. She's actually
smarter when she's drunk.

It's how nature built her to survive.

It's like how owls can see at night or
Donovan McNabb can throw better on the

run.

You want me to talk to Kim? I'm sure
whatever she wants you to do, Kim's

to know about it.

Really? You'd do that for me?

Ah, come on. It's not that big a deal.
It's not like I'm agreeing to help you

move. Although I would. I'm always
available to help you move.

I know. You wrote that on my birthday
card.

Listen, how are you going to ask Kim
without telling her why you're asking

Are you kidding? She's easy. All I got
to do is a little dusting and get

whatever I want out of her.

Nice. I rubbed Christine's feet.

Idiots.

Listen, Sammy and Emily both have
birthday parties to go to this weekend,

don't even think about playing golf.

I want to play golf.

Hey, I promised Jimmy I'd go with him
somewhere to do something for Christine,

but I can't remember what it was.

She didn't happen to say anything to you
about where she wanted him to go, did

she?

Why don't you ask Jimmy?

I could, but I don't know where he is,
and I was going to do some laundry, and

wanted to know what to wash so I would
wear the right thing to go to the place

that she wants him to go.

Now that I think of it, Christine did
mention that she asked Jimmy to go pick

something up for her.

She did? What was it?

A lamp.

Ah, a lamp. That's right, that's right.
I remember Jimmy saying something about

that.

Where did she want him to pick it up? At
a pottery barn or a crate and stuff?

Bakersfield. Come again? Her lamp needs
to be picked up in Bakersfield. She

bought it on eBay.

They can't ship it? Too fragile.

You know, it's really nice of you to
offer to go with them.

It shouldn't take you guys more than six
hours or so.

I'll go check her email for the address.

Jimmy, we have to go to Bakersfield to
pick up a lamp.

Yeah, that's right, a lamp.

She bought it on eBay.

No, too fragile.

I don't know, glass, wicker, conch
shells, I don't know. Next time, listen

your wife.

Check on the kids?

Yep. The second movie was ending, so I
put in a third.

For the next two hours, they're in the
warm, capable paws of Air Bud.

Hey, remember when you first had kids
and you said you'd never let them watch

TV?

I used to shave my legs more than once a
month, too.

Here's to giving up.

You know, guys have been gone a long
time.

Where exactly did you send them?

I don't know.

I just put down a fake address.

If they're going to waste our time by
not listening to us, let them waste a

Saturday looking for an imaginary lamp.

Hey, you know what? When they get back,
we should tell them that since we had to

watch the kids all day, that they have
to watch them and we can go out to

dinner. That... It's a brilliant idea.
You are so smart.

Well, I've had a few.

Oh, my God.

What happened?

We've gotten to an accident.

I think we're lost again.

What is the address?

1234 Maple Street. I don't even see it
on this map.

Let me see this map.

Where are we on this thing?

Right here.

What street are we on?

Cow. I don't see Cow Street. No, cow!

Cow!

Well,

that would have been just perfect. A
whole lifetime of struggling with

intolerance to be killed by a cow.

That's it.

Call on Christine and make sure we get
the right ad read.

Hey, Logan, it's your dad. Is Mom home?

Yeah, she's in the backyard with Aunt
Kim. Did you guys find that wild goose

yet?

What? I heard Mommy and Aunt Kim
laughing because they sent you on a wild

chase.

Really, what else did you hear?

Uh -huh.

Uh -huh.

Uh -huh.

Okay, thanks, buddy.

Hey, listen, don't tell your mom that we
called. I want to surprise her.

Okay? Yeah.

Yeah, okay. We'll try to find that goose
for you.

What? They're screwing with us.

What?

They gave us a fake address. They must
have been on to us the entire time. It's

not funny. We could have had an accident
while we were fumbling with that map.

Yes, we could have, Greg.

Yes, we could have.

And while we were both looking at the
map, we swerved to avoid a cow and ran

right into a ditch.

Oh, my God.

Are you okay?

I don't know, man.

My head went forward and hit the dash. I
think I pulled something on my neck.

Do we have a heating pad or anything?

Yeah, I think there's one in the guest
house.

I'll help you find it.

Oh, my God, this is great. You see how
guilty they look?

I could have to rub her feet for like a
year.

Oh, my God, I feel terrible. They could
have been killed.

Christine, I think I may have to tell
Greg the truth.

Oh, no, no, no, no, no. You're not
getting me in trouble with Jimmy because

your stupid idea.

You're driving to Bakersfield tomorrow,
and you're bringing back a lamp.

I can't. You can, and you will.

Have you seen your husband's cast out
there? You know, they make it in smaller

sizes.

Greg, where's your cast?

I'm feeling better.

What is that?

This is for you guys.

We found that wild goose you were
looking for.