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1
00:00:02,940 --> 00:00:04,500
What are you doing with my video camera?
2
00:00:04,760 --> 00:00:06,320
He's making an audition tape for Big
Brother.
3
00:00:06,780 --> 00:00:10,440
Are you serious? Big Brother? Yeah, I
always had a daydream that I'd be on a
4
00:00:10,440 --> 00:00:14,020
show. Me too. But in mine, you're on an
episode of Unsolved Mysteries and all
5
00:00:14,020 --> 00:00:15,020
they can find is your car.
6
00:00:18,340 --> 00:00:20,200
I'd love to see you on Big Brother,
Jimmy.
7
00:00:20,420 --> 00:00:23,580
Oh, please. Do you have any idea how
many people put in applications for that
8
00:00:23,580 --> 00:00:25,380
show? Why do you waste your time with
such stuff?
9
00:00:25,760 --> 00:00:27,280
Because I think positively.
10
00:00:27,870 --> 00:00:30,650
You know, that's the problem, Greg.
You're always so negative. You know, I
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00:00:30,650 --> 00:00:31,890
that the glass is half full.
12
00:00:32,290 --> 00:00:35,110
Yeah, and I think, hey, that's my glass.
Why are you drinking out of it?
13
00:00:39,490 --> 00:00:42,270
Hey, Greg, get in here. We're going to
watch Jimmy's audition tape for Big
14
00:00:42,270 --> 00:00:43,410
Brother. Now?
15
00:00:43,690 --> 00:00:46,750
I taped 60 minutes two weeks ago, and I
was finally going to get to watch it.
16
00:00:46,790 --> 00:00:47,910
Oh, come on. It'll just take a second.
17
00:00:57,140 --> 00:01:01,260
Sorry, I saw that you'd written 60
minutes on there. I thought that was the
18
00:01:01,260 --> 00:01:02,260
length of the tape.
19
00:01:04,300 --> 00:01:08,220
I know you're getting a lot of these
tapes, so I thought I'd make one myself
20
00:01:08,220 --> 00:01:10,620
show you why I'd be great on Big
Brother.
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00:01:11,320 --> 00:01:15,860
I work at a studio across town where we
shoot Big Brother, so I'm very familiar
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00:01:15,860 --> 00:01:17,100
with the world of television.
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00:01:19,700 --> 00:01:23,780
Jimmy's a loving and caring husband, and
he knows how to take care of me after a
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00:01:23,780 --> 00:01:24,780
long day.
25
00:01:34,760 --> 00:01:35,760
fun to watch.
26
00:01:40,200 --> 00:01:40,720
And
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00:01:40,720 --> 00:01:54,880
I
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00:01:54,880 --> 00:02:01,740
am probably the only one with a
29
00:02:01,740 --> 00:02:02,780
celebrity endorsement.
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00:02:03,140 --> 00:02:04,420
Hey, look who it is.
31
00:02:06,380 --> 00:02:08,660
Can you open the gate? Yeah, sure. Could
you just say I'd be great on Big
32
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Brother?
33
00:02:09,740 --> 00:02:12,360
If you open the gate, I'll say you'll be
great on my little sister.
34
00:02:14,000 --> 00:02:16,780
You hear that, folks? That's why he's
Mr. Robert Klein.
35
00:02:17,600 --> 00:02:20,420
All right, listen, I think I was shaking
the camera a little bit. Can we try
36
00:02:20,420 --> 00:02:21,099
that again?
37
00:02:21,100 --> 00:02:22,640
I'm begging you. Can you open the gate?
38
00:02:24,020 --> 00:02:25,880
So that's me, Jimmy Hughes.
39
00:02:26,440 --> 00:02:30,500
I'm a regular guy just looking to be on
Big Brother. So thanks for watching.
40
00:02:31,140 --> 00:02:32,140
Have a good one.
41
00:02:39,579 --> 00:02:41,160
It's me riding a bike naked.
42
00:02:43,140 --> 00:02:45,580
They always pick people who get naked in
their video.
43
00:02:46,220 --> 00:02:50,100
So check this out. This is where I put
my feet on the handlebars and steal.
44
00:03:17,769 --> 00:03:19,130
What? They picked you?
45
00:03:19,670 --> 00:03:23,390
Congratulations. I don't believe it. I
just don't believe it. How does life
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00:03:23,390 --> 00:03:24,550
happen to work out for you?
47
00:03:24,830 --> 00:03:27,670
You know, you don't have a place to
live. I just happen to have a room. You
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00:03:27,670 --> 00:03:30,510
don't have a job. One just happens to
fall into your lap. What, did you make a
49
00:03:30,510 --> 00:03:31,510
deal with the devil?
50
00:03:32,790 --> 00:03:37,110
Yeah, Craig, I sold my soul to the devil
so I could work as a security guard and
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00:03:37,110 --> 00:03:38,110
live in your guest house.
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00:03:38,150 --> 00:03:41,970
I really just hope the devil keeps all
his promises and lets me go blind by
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00:03:41,970 --> 00:03:42,970
Christmas.
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00:03:45,740 --> 00:03:49,580
to him, Jimmy. We're really proud of
you. Thank you. Well, listen, I got to
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00:03:49,580 --> 00:03:51,520
leave in two days. I got to start
packing my luggage.
56
00:03:52,940 --> 00:03:53,940
Greg, where's your luggage?
57
00:03:56,300 --> 00:03:57,300
Two days?
58
00:03:57,500 --> 00:03:58,500
That's too soon.
59
00:03:58,700 --> 00:04:01,560
Yeah, I know, but we talked about this.
You're so cool with it, right?
60
00:04:01,840 --> 00:04:05,300
Yeah, you know, it's going to be hard to
take care of the kids all by myself,
61
00:04:05,520 --> 00:04:09,420
you know? I mean, basically going to be
like a single mom for three months.
62
00:04:09,660 --> 00:04:11,840
Christine, if this is going to be a
problem, I don't have... No, no, no.
63
00:04:11,840 --> 00:04:14,940
get through it. Don't worry. I mean,
this is a great opportunity, right? And
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00:04:14,940 --> 00:04:19,060
maybe you'll win. And with $500 ,000, we
can finally buy our own house.
65
00:04:19,360 --> 00:04:20,500
Your own house? What's that?
66
00:04:23,140 --> 00:04:26,720
Listen, I just... I don't want to make
you a single mom. Look, you have nothing
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00:04:26,720 --> 00:04:29,560
to worry about. Of course, me and Kim
will help with the kids. But I get
68
00:04:29,560 --> 00:04:32,080
Dominic. After last Saturday night, I'm
never watching Logan again.
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00:04:32,840 --> 00:04:34,160
Kid can't even wipe himself.
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00:04:36,520 --> 00:04:37,520
Yes, he can.
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00:04:42,190 --> 00:04:43,550
lazy little weasel.
72
00:05:17,320 --> 00:05:18,880
Welcome to Big Brother.
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00:05:19,140 --> 00:05:23,680
We're here with 12 people chosen to live
in this house for three months with no
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00:05:23,680 --> 00:05:25,560
contact to the outside world.
75
00:05:26,820 --> 00:05:31,160
Okay? At the count of three, you will
enter the house and select your bed.
76
00:05:31,640 --> 00:05:36,780
Keep in mind, not all beds are equal, so
I suggest you pick carefully.
77
00:05:37,520 --> 00:05:38,520
Ready?
78
00:05:38,880 --> 00:05:42,820
One, two, three, go.
79
00:06:16,080 --> 00:06:17,080
Bye, brother.
80
00:06:52,200 --> 00:06:54,440
That idiot, he's probably looking for
the guest house.
81
00:07:00,080 --> 00:07:04,140
This is weird. I watch a show all the
time. They usually have an old guy. Oh,
82
00:07:04,700 --> 00:07:13,600
damn.
83
00:07:16,820 --> 00:07:20,980
I know I've only been in here for a
little while, but I already hate all
84
00:07:20,980 --> 00:07:21,980
people.
85
00:07:23,280 --> 00:07:27,200
He's just so straightforward and honest.
I can't believe a successful doctor
86
00:07:27,200 --> 00:07:28,220
like him isn't married.
87
00:07:35,640 --> 00:07:40,340
Hey, man, this is what I was looking
forward to. Long days with nothing to do
88
00:07:40,340 --> 00:07:43,180
but just drink beer and check out the
swimsuits.
89
00:07:43,920 --> 00:07:48,340
Yeah, you can really tell who prepared
for this and who didn't. Yeah, man.
90
00:07:48,500 --> 00:07:51,740
Worked out, worked out, pigged out.
91
00:07:57,070 --> 00:07:59,150
You and that girl Lisa, you seen her be
getting along, huh?
92
00:07:59,690 --> 00:08:00,870
Yeah, she's sweet.
93
00:08:01,130 --> 00:08:02,710
Dude, she is fine.
94
00:08:03,590 --> 00:08:05,230
I think you got a real shot there.
95
00:08:06,550 --> 00:08:09,710
Jimmy, you do know that I'm gay, right?
96
00:08:14,810 --> 00:08:15,810
Okay.
97
00:08:19,370 --> 00:08:20,910
Check out the abs on Nathan.
98
00:08:24,570 --> 00:08:25,710
That's the thing about Jimmy.
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00:08:26,140 --> 00:08:27,480
He didn't seem to care that I'm gay.
100
00:08:28,040 --> 00:08:29,460
He didn't even seem to notice.
101
00:08:30,680 --> 00:08:32,340
Tomorrow I'm going to tell him that I'm
black.
102
00:08:35,120 --> 00:08:37,820
It's nice to have another guy in the
house that's in the same boat as me.
103
00:08:38,559 --> 00:08:41,559
Surrounded by beautiful women, but
neither one of us is going to do
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00:08:41,559 --> 00:08:42,559
about it.
105
00:08:43,460 --> 00:08:47,140
When I said the same boat, I don't mean
like we're shipmates.
106
00:08:48,160 --> 00:08:49,400
Because I love women.
107
00:08:50,220 --> 00:08:53,580
I would love to get with some of these
hot chicks here.
108
00:08:54,280 --> 00:08:55,280
But I never would.
109
00:08:55,530 --> 00:08:56,990
Because I'm happily married.
110
00:08:57,190 --> 00:09:01,010
So, Christine, if you're watching, it
may look like I'm flirting, but I'm
111
00:09:01,010 --> 00:09:03,530
really, I'm just, I'm just playing the
game.
112
00:09:12,030 --> 00:09:17,370
At this point in the game.
113
00:09:21,250 --> 00:09:22,710
Wow, Jimmy did pretty well.
114
00:09:23,510 --> 00:09:24,510
Okay, boys.
115
00:09:24,620 --> 00:09:25,620
Show's over.
116
00:09:25,680 --> 00:09:26,680
Bath time.
117
00:09:26,760 --> 00:09:28,140
Why do we have to take a bath?
118
00:09:28,440 --> 00:09:29,440
We're not dirty.
119
00:09:29,640 --> 00:09:30,640
Not dirty?
120
00:09:31,140 --> 00:09:34,620
Logan, in the last hour, I've seen you
put your finger in three different
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00:09:34,620 --> 00:09:35,620
nostrils.
122
00:09:36,540 --> 00:09:38,440
Come on. Let's go. Get in there.
123
00:09:42,260 --> 00:09:44,520
And so the single parenting begins.
124
00:09:45,420 --> 00:09:47,220
Better grab some extra towels.
125
00:09:47,820 --> 00:09:51,620
When they're done in the tub, our
bathroom looks like Quint's boat near
126
00:09:51,620 --> 00:09:52,620
of Jaws.
127
00:10:17,870 --> 00:10:19,310
way you're done, the floor's all dry.
128
00:10:19,590 --> 00:10:20,830
It's usually a mess in here.
129
00:10:21,370 --> 00:10:23,670
That's only from when Daddy plays Wet
St. Bernard.
130
00:10:27,210 --> 00:10:28,210
Really?
131
00:10:28,630 --> 00:10:33,310
Okay. Well, tell me this. Last week,
whose idea was it to have the baby
132
00:10:33,310 --> 00:10:34,310
snowstorm?
133
00:10:45,550 --> 00:10:48,370
Christine, I took some time to look up a
couple of pieces of real estate that I
134
00:10:48,370 --> 00:10:51,250
think you might be interested in, you
know, for when Jimmy wins the big money.
135
00:10:52,830 --> 00:10:54,450
Wow, look at this.
136
00:10:54,970 --> 00:10:58,150
Three bedrooms, three baths? Yeah, five
acres of land.
137
00:10:59,050 --> 00:11:00,050
Looks pretty good.
138
00:11:00,370 --> 00:11:01,329
Where is it?
139
00:11:01,330 --> 00:11:02,510
Um, that's in Maine.
140
00:11:06,090 --> 00:11:10,310
The houseguests have been cut off from
the outside world for almost three days
141
00:11:10,310 --> 00:11:12,910
now. Let's see how they're dealing with
their isolation.
142
00:11:13,720 --> 00:11:17,580
Well, I thought I would miss TV, but I
didn't realize I'd have Jimmy. And that
143
00:11:17,580 --> 00:11:19,840
concludes season two of The Simpsons.
144
00:11:22,040 --> 00:11:27,460
He could do any cartoon you ask for,
entire episodes, without commercials, so
145
00:11:27,460 --> 00:11:28,980
really he's better than TV.
146
00:11:30,300 --> 00:11:31,820
Let's check in with a house guest.
147
00:11:33,160 --> 00:11:34,160
Hi, everybody.
148
00:11:34,360 --> 00:11:35,360
Hi, Jimmy.
149
00:11:35,640 --> 00:11:38,200
I hope you're all ready for the
nomination ceremony.
150
00:11:38,720 --> 00:11:40,340
Yeah. What is that?
151
00:11:40,720 --> 00:11:44,020
Oh, that's where the head of household
nominates two people for eviction, and
152
00:11:44,020 --> 00:11:46,260
then tomorrow everyone votes on who they
want to kick out of the house.
153
00:11:46,480 --> 00:11:48,720
Well, it's probably going to be June and
that bitch Allison.
154
00:11:51,380 --> 00:11:54,180
Everybody knows she shaved her legs with
Marcellus' head razor.
155
00:12:10,540 --> 00:12:11,540
You are safe.
156
00:12:12,600 --> 00:12:17,180
Jimmy, Allison, you are the two people
I've chosen for nomination for eviction.
157
00:12:19,720 --> 00:12:23,600
No, no, no, they can't kick him out. I
just found you guys a split -level home
158
00:12:23,600 --> 00:12:24,600
in Winnipeg.
159
00:12:26,640 --> 00:12:31,600
Well, the first two nominations for
eviction are in, but as usual, earlier
160
00:12:31,600 --> 00:12:35,780
afternoon, some backdoor dealing was
going on in the Big Brother house.
161
00:13:00,319 --> 00:13:03,200
Now, the other nominee has to be someone
everybody likes.
162
00:13:03,720 --> 00:13:05,660
That way, Allison will get all the
votes.
163
00:13:06,020 --> 00:13:07,020
How about Jimmy?
164
00:13:08,180 --> 00:13:10,100
Yeah, Jimmy's the most popular guy in
the house.
165
00:13:10,440 --> 00:13:11,440
Yeah, I'll do it.
166
00:13:12,300 --> 00:13:13,440
I'll be the decoy.
167
00:13:15,480 --> 00:13:16,480
Thank God.
168
00:13:16,640 --> 00:13:17,640
No kidding.
169
00:13:17,740 --> 00:13:19,320
I'm not ready for Jimmy to come home.
170
00:13:22,060 --> 00:13:24,200
Watch this. Okay, kids, time for bed.
171
00:13:24,440 --> 00:13:25,440
G'day, Mom.
172
00:13:35,630 --> 00:13:36,549
it's easier.
173
00:13:36,550 --> 00:13:40,230
He's the one who gets them fired up
every night. Really? You know, Kim, all
174
00:13:40,230 --> 00:13:43,530
time I thought it was Jimmy and me
united against Dominic and Logan.
175
00:13:44,010 --> 00:13:46,410
But now I realize he's one of them.
176
00:13:49,210 --> 00:13:52,690
Not only that, he's their leader.
177
00:13:58,770 --> 00:14:03,170
Tonight, it's the vote to determine the
first guest evicted from the Big Brother
178
00:14:03,170 --> 00:14:05,630
house. Will it be Allison or Jimmy?
179
00:14:06,330 --> 00:14:10,190
Later, we'll go live for the decision.
But first, let's see what happened
180
00:14:10,190 --> 00:14:11,190
earlier today.
181
00:14:12,150 --> 00:14:13,530
Allison, relax.
182
00:14:14,270 --> 00:14:15,370
You're just a decoy.
183
00:14:15,950 --> 00:14:17,250
Jimmy's the one I want out of here.
184
00:14:17,670 --> 00:14:18,710
Everybody loves Jimmy.
185
00:14:18,930 --> 00:14:20,950
No one's going to vote him out. That's
why he has to go.
186
00:14:21,190 --> 00:14:22,450
He's too much of a threat.
187
00:14:23,030 --> 00:14:24,030
So I set him up.
188
00:14:24,530 --> 00:14:26,410
I stole a pair of Lisa's underwear.
189
00:14:26,730 --> 00:14:30,190
I told everyone that Jimmy took them and
that he's wearing them.
190
00:14:31,410 --> 00:14:32,630
No, girl, I am.
191
00:14:35,720 --> 00:14:39,480
this jimmy's getting double crossed
they're gonna vote him out no no no
192
00:14:39,480 --> 00:14:46,480
can't come home this is working this is
working for all of us where
193
00:14:46,480 --> 00:14:49,920
are you going i only have 45 minutes
until they vote i've got to figure a way
194
00:14:49,920 --> 00:14:54,020
keep him in damn you marcella you've
only lived with him for three days try
195
00:14:54,020 --> 00:14:55,020
three and a half years
196
00:15:06,280 --> 00:15:07,340
I need to see your ID badge.
197
00:15:08,360 --> 00:15:09,440
Oh, here you go.
198
00:15:10,860 --> 00:15:13,740
Nice photo, but this badge is not for
this lot.
199
00:15:14,080 --> 00:15:16,380
Yeah, but it's good for that lot.
200
00:15:17,520 --> 00:15:20,960
This is a lot, too, so wouldn't it be
good for this one also?
201
00:15:21,720 --> 00:15:24,660
Sir, this isn't Blockbuster. I need a
badge for this lot.
202
00:15:25,800 --> 00:15:27,020
Thank you. Thanks a lot.
203
00:16:43,010 --> 00:16:44,330
37, take seven.
204
00:16:47,450 --> 00:16:48,630
Whoa, whoa.
205
00:16:49,110 --> 00:16:50,610
Who's that guy on camera three?
206
00:16:52,810 --> 00:16:54,610
Security, we got a problem in here.
207
00:16:57,670 --> 00:17:01,670
And now we go live to the Big Brother
house where we're about to have the
208
00:17:01,670 --> 00:17:05,530
eviction vote. Jimmy and Allison are
about to make their final pleas to
209
00:17:05,530 --> 00:17:07,770
their housemates not to evict them.
210
00:17:09,040 --> 00:17:12,460
I think you guys have all gotten to know
me pretty well over the last week. And
211
00:17:12,460 --> 00:17:16,640
I really think that you should vote for
whoever you think deserves to be kicked
212
00:17:16,640 --> 00:17:20,160
out. Just remember, there's four seasons
of The Flintstones you haven't heard
213
00:17:20,160 --> 00:17:21,160
yet.
214
00:17:45,480 --> 00:17:45,999
Hi, Jimmy.
215
00:17:46,000 --> 00:17:46,639
Hi, Julie.
216
00:17:46,640 --> 00:17:47,840
Nice to meet you. Come on in.
217
00:17:48,040 --> 00:17:49,040
Have a seat.
218
00:17:49,120 --> 00:17:50,960
I'm Julie. Nice to meet you, please.
219
00:17:51,780 --> 00:17:52,780
I'm so comfortable.
220
00:17:58,560 --> 00:18:02,620
Well, here's a big brother first. A
player disqualified because his brother
221
00:18:02,620 --> 00:18:03,620
-law broke into the house.
222
00:18:03,900 --> 00:18:07,900
Well, I had no choice. Marcellus was
stabbing him in the back. Greg,
223
00:18:07,900 --> 00:18:10,960
and I were working together. We were
trying to give Allison a false sense of
224
00:18:10,960 --> 00:18:12,540
security. Oh, come on.
225
00:18:12,940 --> 00:18:13,940
Take a look.
226
00:18:15,820 --> 00:18:17,360
I stole a pair of Lisa's underwear.
227
00:18:17,680 --> 00:18:21,180
I told everyone that Jimmy took them and
that he's wearing them.
228
00:18:21,820 --> 00:18:23,560
Is he? No, girl, I am.
229
00:18:25,520 --> 00:18:26,800
Marcellus, you're a genius.
230
00:18:36,600 --> 00:18:37,760
So you think she bought it?
231
00:18:38,340 --> 00:18:39,299
Oh, yeah.
232
00:18:39,300 --> 00:18:40,440
She's such an idiot.
233
00:18:40,860 --> 00:18:44,180
Who would believe that we're going to
get rid of Jimmy? I know. He's great.
234
00:18:45,290 --> 00:18:46,730
I almost hope he wins instead of me.
235
00:18:47,710 --> 00:18:50,630
Well, sweetheart, you're never going to
win.
236
00:18:51,310 --> 00:18:52,450
Everybody hates you.
237
00:19:04,050 --> 00:19:05,050
Yeah,
238
00:19:05,530 --> 00:19:08,010
everything was going the way I planned
until Greg showed up.
239
00:19:08,470 --> 00:19:11,810
Well, Jimmy, it looks like your brother
-in -law may have cost you a half
240
00:19:11,810 --> 00:19:13,910
million dollars. You must be pretty
upset.
241
00:19:14,919 --> 00:19:20,280
Well, you know, I could be negative
about this, Julie, but I try to think
242
00:19:20,280 --> 00:19:21,280
positive.
243
00:19:21,980 --> 00:19:26,900
You may see the Big Brother house as
being a little more empty, but I really
244
00:19:26,900 --> 00:19:32,180
just see my brother -in -law's guest
house as being full for a long, long
245
00:19:34,780 --> 00:19:38,400
Jimmy, before you go, some of your
fellow house guests recorded a special
246
00:19:38,400 --> 00:19:40,700
message for you in the event of your
eviction tonight.
247
00:19:41,240 --> 00:19:42,240
Let's take a look.
248
00:19:43,210 --> 00:19:44,590
Too bad you got kicked out, bro.
249
00:19:45,290 --> 00:19:46,570
Could have made a great alliance.
250
00:19:46,790 --> 00:19:48,330
I even came up with some nicknames for
it.
251
00:19:49,210 --> 00:19:50,270
The dynamic duo.
252
00:19:51,530 --> 00:19:52,610
The dream twosome.
253
00:19:57,570 --> 00:20:04,470
I'm never going to forget the way you
looked in that whipped cream bikini.
254
00:20:04,690 --> 00:20:05,970
No matter how hard I try.
255
00:20:07,190 --> 00:20:08,190
The two needles.
256
00:20:09,450 --> 00:20:12,310
Ivory and Ivory. Hey, I heard what you
said about my ad.
257
00:20:13,959 --> 00:20:15,860
Thanks. I heard what you said about my
app.
258
00:20:16,760 --> 00:20:17,760
Thanks.
259
00:20:20,260 --> 00:20:21,260
J Squared.
260
00:20:22,140 --> 00:20:23,400
J &J Music Factory.
261
00:20:26,180 --> 00:20:27,180
Two -man group.
262
00:20:28,120 --> 00:20:31,040
They're all kind of stupid, but I ain't
nothing else to do in this house.
263
00:20:31,560 --> 00:20:32,920
Got like 500 of these.
264
00:20:33,340 --> 00:20:34,340
Goodbye, Jimmy.
265
00:20:34,960 --> 00:20:36,800
I'm going to miss our long talks at
night.
266
00:20:37,440 --> 00:20:39,240
Staying up together and watching the sun
rise.
267
00:20:40,110 --> 00:20:41,590
And that public bath we took.
268
00:20:43,350 --> 00:20:44,850
We were just playing the game,
Christine.
269
00:20:49,410 --> 00:20:50,690
Just playing the game, Julie.
21887
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