All language subtitles for yes_dear_s03e10_were_having_a_baby

Greg, hurry, a baby story's coming on.

Man, I wish someone would have asked us
to be in a documentary when we were

pregnant with one of our kids.

Well, just keep doing what you're doing.
I'm sure they'll make a documentary

about you at some point.

Kim and Greg Warner are overjoyed about
the upcoming arrival

of their family's newest member.

An interesting living situation with
relatives.

And two very excited sets of
grandparents should make this pregnancy

this Los Angeles family won't soon
forget.

We had our first baby three years ago.

I guess we kind of forgot how much stuff
there is to do.

We're nesting all over again.

The store where we bought the crib said
they could have a guy set it up for $50.

But there's a certain satisfaction you
get as a dad putting together your

child's crib yourself.

Greg and I met in college.

We both went to the University of
Virginia in Charlottesville.

He was a senior, I was a junior.

We were so crazy back then.

I think that we met at the health clinic
on campus.

Man, I used to spend a lot of time at
that health clinic.

Not for venereal disease.

I mean, I know that's why most college
kids go to the health clinic, but I was

just really allergic to pollen and the
university was surrounded by woods.

I think Kim was there for gonorrhea.

I'm joking.

Just joking.

Things are already a little crowded at
the Warner house as it is.

Kim's sister and brother -in -law,
Christine and Jimmy, live in the

guest house.

We've been living back here for about
two and a half years now, us and the

Dominic is six, Logan's three.

I swear I can't believe how fast the
kids grow up.

Every couple of months, Logan seems like
a different kid.

Okay, you can start it now.

I'm so excited about the new baby.

for bringing a new life into the world.

Yeah, it's all such a special, special
time.

You know, together in our lives.

Me and you and all our love.

Sweet love.

I think we're done here.

We were a little nervous about Sam
adjusting to the new baby, so our

pediatrician suggested we get him this
doll, you know, to help him adjust.

He loves it. He spends hours in the
backyard with it.

Living in Los Angeles has been pretty
exciting for us. I work at a movie

Christine's back in college.

And since we have two children, you
never know which one of your kids is

to be discovered as the next big child
actor.

They all lived in Los Angeles, you know.

Jerry Mathers, Gary Coleman, Adam Rich.
Don't you think he looks like Adam Rich?

You know, from 80s and up.

Oh, he's good, too. Watch this.

Sad, Dominic. Too sad.

Happy.

Thinking.

He's a natural.

This one's going to be a stuntman.

Because Kim's baby is breached, the
doctors have scheduled a C -section.

Knowing when the baby is coming has
allowed Kim and Greg to plan when the

grandparents are going to visit.

Both of our parents live on the East
Coast, which is hard because... You're

hurting my leg.

What? You're hurting my leg. Just move
over a little. Ow, ow, ow, that's worse.

What, have you got your keys in your
pocket or something? Get off me. Get off

me. With the last pregnancy, both of our
parents came out at the same time, and

there were a few problems.

Yeah, her parents tend to take over a
little.

I don't think it's fair to say my
parents took over.

They were just very excited about having
a new grandchild, and they may have

gone a little overboard.

Anyway, this time we have it all worked
out.

My parents are going to be here for the
birth of the baby and stay for a whole

week so they can have plenty of time
with the new baby before Kim's parents

the week after.

Mom, Dad!

Hey, how are you?

Nice to see you. How are you?

Hi.

What is this?

What's all this?

Mom, this is the television show I told
you about.

Now? They're doing this now?

Hi. I'm Grandpa.

Grandpa Tom.

Great. We just got off of an airplane
for five hours. They haven't even put

makeup on. It's fine, Mom. Just pretend
they're not there.

How can we pretend they're not there?
They are there.

Look at the way your father is dressed.
Huh?

Don't tuck your shirt in.

Oh, no. Forget it. Forget it. This is
not going on television. No, we're going

to do this again. Stop the camera.

Well, with all four grandparents here,
it got kind of crowded and, well, made

difficult to get close to the baby.

Don and Jenny are big people.

Not so much physically, you know, but
loud and enthusiastic.

Don's a bully.

We love him to death.

But this will be nice for the baby to
have some alone time with us before, you

know, the circus comes to town.

Oh, plus the fact it's nice to know when
the baby's coming. I know when Natalie

was pregnant with Greg, well, she was in
our kitchen when her water broke, and

started screaming like crazy, you know.
So when I came in, I don't know whether

it was the water or the fact that she'd
just waxed the floor, but did you ever

see a dog trying to run on ice, you
know?

Well, that's funny.

What's not funny is a 30 -year -old man
flop around and wound you.

With a scheduled C -section only two
days away, Kim and Greg are about to get

some exciting news.

Your baby is no longer breech. Oh,
that's great.

Does that mean I don't have to have a C
-section?

Mrs. Warner, you're going to have this
baby naturally.

Did you hear that, Greg?

Hold on a second.

When will she have the baby? Could be a
couple of days, could be a week.

It can't be a week. Don and Jenny are
going to be here in a week and it won't

a special for the baby.

With the baby no longer breech, things

take an unexpected turn.

Another set of grandparents are arriving
in a week and the clock is ticking.

I still can't believe this. I've been
watching a baby story for years. I never

thought I'd be on it. Christine used to
say the same thing about that show,

Cops.

It's back on.

With a C -section no longer necessary,
Kim breathes a sigh of relief, although

the news has caused some stress for
other members of the family.

What a relief.

I know it's no big deal, but I don't
even like the sound of it.

Breach. I was supposed to be holding my
brand new grandchild in my arms today.

But instead, we went to the farmer's
market.

We had fruit smoothies.

I was so looking forward to bonding with
the new baby.

Showing my grandchild how much his
grandmother loved him. That smoothie was

delicious. Mango banana.

Baby doesn't come tomorrow. I may go
back there.

Why haven't I heard about smoothies
until recently? You know, I mean,

have been around for a hundred years.
And fruit?

Probably even longer.

But I didn't hear about smoothies until
93.

No, 94.

No, it was late 93.

When did the Orioles move to Camden
Yards?

I can't believe my little sister's about
to have her second baby.

Well, then again, I can't believe Jimmy
and I have kids of our own.

It seems like just yesterday that we
were going to the prom.

Back then, though, I knew that Jimmy was
the one for me.

Everybody else just saw a goofy jock,
but I knew that there was a good man

underneath that rough exterior.

You see, have you seen the gold bond
powder that rashes back?

As the days go by and Kim waits to have
her baby naturally, one set of

grandparents are getting anxious.

No baby yet.

Hawaiian sunrise.

I thought she'd had it by now.

Well, we still have three days before
Don and Ginny get here. Guess we're just

going to have to keep our fingers
crossed.

No, baby.

Now, this one tastes like pina coladas.

Yep. Although it's got a little
echinacea in it.

Well, this is beginning to be
ridiculous. I mean, her parents are

here in two days. When is she going to
have this baby? You know, they say that

sex can help speed things along.

Greg, have you tried to get things
moving?

Mom, please, I love her, not a plunger.
Well, I am just saying, I was a week

past my due date with Greg, and I made
Tom, well, you know.

I got him out of there.

You can never really plan anything.

We thought the baby would be a week old
by now, and instead here we are,

waiting.

My parents will be here later today.

Well, the circus is coming to town
today.

Hello!

Where's my pregnant little daughter?

Honey, we're here!

Thanks for waiting for us!

Very nice day in Baltimore.

I think Tom and Natalie might be a
little unhappy with us.

I made a little joke.

We were talking about how ironic it is
that the baby waited for us.

And I said, the baby must have heard
that only Tom and Natalie were going to

there, and boom, it flipped its ass
right back into position.

It was a very uncomfortable moment.

I didn't think it was funny.

Tom and Natalie are just a little
different, that's all.

They're weird.

They're not weird, Don.

That was a funny joke.

It's not funny.

What do you know about funny, suddenly?
What do you know about being sensitive

to other people's feelings?

Please, do not start that crap now.

We're divorced.

Like it's not stressful enough to be
nine months pregnant.

In the interest of keeping the peace, I
told my parents they had to stick to the

original plan and stay out of the way
until after the baby was born.

We were a little hurt that we agreed to
it. In retrospect, I probably shouldn't

have brought up the names.

So if it's a boy, we're going with
Charlie, and Lucy if it's a girl.

Lucy.

What, Dad?

Nothing, nothing.

Charlie and Lucy are good names. Yeah,
for penis characters.

For all I care, they can call it Snoopy
if it's a boy, okay? Or Pigpen.

Man, that Pigpen cracks me up.

I thought Don had a good idea when he
suggested Rachel for a girl's name.

Rachel was my mother's name.

Kim's grandmother.

So I just wanted them to think about it,
that's all.

As long as we were opening the floor, I
felt that I would be remiss if I didn't

mention my great -grandmother, Margaret.

Margaret is a very versatile name. If
she becomes a Supreme Court justice, you

call her Margaret.

If she's a waitress at a truck stop, you
call her Peggy.

They're all crazy.

That's why I kind of kept out of it. I
always keep out of it. Don shouldn't

said that Margaret was an old lady name.

But Natalie didn't have to remind us
that we weren't even supposed to be

yet. You guys are making this very
difficult.

Are you happy now?

I just think Rachel is a nice name.

Hey, everybody, Kim's water broke.

Oh, my God. Don, get the keys to the
car. We'll take her to the hospital.

This is it.

Go help Greg with Kim.

No, I'll get the bathroom.

Oh.

Well, happened again.

Dad.

Disgusting. It's 9 p .m.

Kim's contractions are becoming more
frequent as the big moment approaches.

Kim, are you sure you don't want the
wheelchair?

No, no, I don't need it. I'm more
comfortable standing.

I don't know why she wouldn't take the
wheelchair.

They're going to charge Greg for it
whether she uses it or not.

I don't like to see people being
cheated.

Well, it's almost happening. Pretty soon
little Charlie will be here.

Or Lucy.

Or Margaret.

Rachel. Our vote is for Rachel. No, your
vote is for Rachel. Please, do we have

to do this now?

Greg missed Sammy's birth.

He had a flat tire.

I feel kind of responsible for that.

I'm not the kind of father that uses a
lot of tools around the house.

I got small hands.

It's almost like a woman.

But anyway, Greg is kind of excited
about being in the room for the birth.

This is kind of cool, huh?

To wear all this stuff like a real
doctor.

A lot of people have always told me I
look like Noah Wiley.

You know, Sammy, this is where you were
born, too.

And now you're going to be a big
brother.

Yep. Here we are at the hospital.

Hey, Dominic, maybe while we're here...

We'll have them take out your tonsils.

Huh?

Comedy.

Hey, uh, Dominic, why don't you like the
hospital?

I need good people.

Drama.

I can hardly wait to see what the baby
looks like. Both our girls were so

beautiful growing up.

Kim was our little princess, always
dressing up, playing with dolls.

Christine was more of a tomboy, always
dressing down.

Playing with boys.

Yeah, in high school.

I caught her a couple of times playing
with boys on the couch.

Don.

I saw what I saw.

I'm just noticing that a lot of the
grandparents are talking about how, you

know, cute their kids were when they
were babies.

My parents aren't here to brag about me,
but I was pretty damn cute myself. You

know, I used to say things like,
Biscotti, and I want waffles for

Breath kiss.

Yeah, yeah. I was something.

Kim is now at 8 centimeters and all is
well.

However, the Warners are about to
encounter a complication they did not

Oh, my God. My hands are killing me.

Oh, my God. They're all red and itchy.
What's wrong with my hands? It might be

the glove.

Maybe you're allergic to latex. Kim!
Little busy here, Greg.

Oh, my God. I got it in my eye. I got it
in my eye. I got it in my eye. I got it

in my eye.

When Greg was just a baby, we found out
that he was allergic to a number of

things.

Strawberries, peanuts, pollen.

Shellfish, dander.

And the older he got, the worse it got.

We found out he was allergic to dryer
sheets and down pillows.

Scented candles, well -based colognes.

They say that it might be because I
didn't breastfeed him as a child, but,

know, back then people didn't breastfeed
that much.

And besides, I have inverted nipples.

With Kim beginning to push, Greg runs
the risk of missing his child's birth.

Any allergic reaction can be a very
serious thing. I mean, he could be short

breath for a while.

I know he'd rather be with his wife, but
it's really important that we keep an

eye on him in here for the next couple
of hours.

We don't know where the hell Greg is.

Christine went to the bathroom, so we
sent Jimmy in to help Kim out.

Jimmy is cool under pressure.

You're doing great.

Let's take a second and push again.

Hey, Kim.

You gonna finish this?

Cigarettes. You?

Gloves.

you, honey.

Who the hell are you?

I'm here, Kim. I'm here.

When Greg came through that door, I had
so many emotions going through me all at

once. Where have you been, you idiot?
You're running around like a little girl

while I'm trying to push a head out of
my... I guess the word is joy.

Here it is.

It's a girl. You brought yourselves up.

We got ourselves a girl. I was there. I
cut the cord.

They're cleaning up in there now.

It's kind of a mess.

I mean, I never really expected to be so
wet.

Son of a bitch.

Here she is.

She's pushing her over here.

What'd they name her?

Doesn't say anything.

I guess they didn't name her yet.

You're killing it. I'm glad they haven't
named the baby yet. They should take

their time with something like that.

And they shouldn't listen to other
people either. I wanted to name my

Emily after my Aunt Emily, and everybody
had an opinion, and the next thing you

know, she's named Michelle.

Aunt Emily practically raised me.

Never got a chance to really honor her
properly.

Everyone say hello to baby Emily.

Emily?

Where did you get Emily from?

It just came to us.

All right.

So, surrounded by helping hands and
happy voices, baby Emily is welcomed

the world.

Kim, come look at this. The show's done
with all this extra footage that they

didn't use. Oh, great.

Someday Emily can watch absolutely
everything that happened the week she

born.

I wanted to name my daughter Emily after
my Aunt Emily, and everybody had an

opinion, and the next thing you know,
she's named Michelle.

Aunt Emily practically raised me.

Never got a chance to really honor her
properly.