All language subtitles for yes_dear_s03e07_wife_swapping

Okay. No, no, I understand. We'll think
of something.

Okay, bye.

What's up?

Karen can't babysit today.

She's canceling? Doesn't she know the
doctor put you on bed rest for a week?

She said she has a conflict.

A conflict?

She's a teenage girl. What does she got
to do? Go out and buy more low -cut

jeans and thongs?

I don't know, Greg.

I didn't notice.

Does she wear low -cut jeans and thongs?

Oh, so now I'm in trouble for noticing.

What am I, made of stone?

Apparently, when she's around, you are.

Hey, what's going on?

Greg's in love with a babysitter.

Yeah, who isn't?

Karen canceled.

Kim's going to be on the couch all day.

She was going to keep an eye on Sammy
for me. She was going to do laundry.

Well, I've got classes all day, but
Jimmy's got the day off. Yeah, I'll

Sammy for you.

You don't mind?

Of course not. Man, you guys do so much
for us, I'd be happy to. You know what?

I'll even do your laundry for you, too.
Where is it, upstairs?

Yeah, it's up in the big pile on the
bed.

Wow, that's nice.

Yeah, but I feel bad that Jimmy has to
do all this work because the babysitter

canceled. Ah, trust me, it would have
been more work for him if she were here.

Sucking in his gut for six hours would
have killed him.

Mom, I still can't find my skateboard.

Oh, you know what, Dominic? I think I
saw it somewhere upstairs.

Whoa!

Actually, I think I am.

Dominic, look, we were lucky this time.
But listen to me, you can't leave your

toys just laying around.

Okay, I'll pick up your prescription and
some magazines for you to read.

Stop scratching your leg.

I can't. It itches like crazy.

Well, just ignore it. It'll go away.

Pretend it's my emotional need.

Hey, I'm heading to the store to pick up
a couple of things for Kim. You guys

need anything?

Oh, actually, Christine was just going
to go to the store to get some stuff for

me. Why don't you guys go together?

Oh, yeah, sure.

That's a good idea.

Great.

I'll get my keys.

Now I have to go to the store with Greg.

What's wrong with that?

He's crazy.

I mean, he'll spend 20 minutes plucking
grapes and dropping them into a bag one

by one because only suckers pay for the
stems.

I'm sorry.

I just thought it made sense. I mean,
it's not like I'm looking forward to

hanging out with Kim.

What's wrong with Kim? Well, nothing,
but can you think of two people who have

less in common?

It's like the last time we agreed about
anything was the time Greg grew that

stupid mustache.

Oh, my God. Remember that?

It's like the village people replaced
the construction worker with an

accountant.

This is great. I don't want to have to
go to the store with Christine.

How do you think I feel being left here
alone with Jimmy?

And what are we going to talk about?

Last time we agreed on anything was when
you grew that stupid mustache.

It wasn't my fault. The woman at
Supercut said it went great with my

Frank, you ready to go? Yeah, yeah,
looking forward to it. I mean, we barely

ever get to spend time together, just
you and me.

Yeah, yeah, I was just talking to Jimmy
about that.

Oh, how you doing?

Good, how you doing?

Good.

Hey, remember when Greg grew that stupid
mustache?

Excuse me.

Ma 'am.

Christine, you can't just push people
out of the way like that.

I've seen her before, right? She's the
slowest person alive.

Last week, she broke a bottle of
molasses. Couldn't outrun the spill.

Oh, Wonder Bread. I love Wonder Bread.

I'll get some.

Kim will let me buy it.

What, so she makes you eat that
disgusting dry crap with all those gross

in it? It's not that bad.

If you want Wonder Bread, just buy it.

If you're worried about Kim, well, hide
it in the guest house. She'll never

know. You don't mind lying to Kim?

All right, come on. I've been lying to
Kim my whole life.

She still thinks her first boyfriend was
in my bedroom fixing my stereo.

All right, I'll get some.

Oh, I haven't held this forever.

It's so light and squeezy.

You gonna eat it or you gonna take it to
Santa Barbara for the weekend?

Hey, Greg, don't you have Nutri -Mix
granola bars on your list?

Yeah, why?

I think that woman's taking the last
box.

Excuse me, ma 'am, would you mind taking
a different kind of granola bars?

Yeah, actually I would.

I wouldn't ask, it's just I have a three
-year -old son who's allergic to

peanuts and that's the only kind he can
eat. Sorry, those are my favorite.

Well, you're in luck. I hear Satan
stocks those in hell.

Did you hear that? She wouldn't even
give them to me.

What?

You mean these?

Would you get those?

Keep walking. Hey, those are mine.

Okay, run.

Thanks for coming to get coffee with me.

Jimmy, I'd like to come into this place
and pretend you can't get coffee the way

you like it. How did you like it?

Cream, sugar, three lottery tickets, two
hot dogs, and five bucks worth of

unleaded.

Like what you see?

What?

That girl. You were totally checking her
out.

No, I wasn't.

Greg, I don't care.

You know, I was staring, too. I mean,
look at that rack.

Well, maybe I was staring a little. It's
not my fault. Look at those things.

They were staring at me first.

You want to see him?

What? Her boobs. You want to see them?

What are you talking about?

I'll get her to flash you. You're crazy.

Fifty bucks.

Fifty bucks if I can get her to flash
you.

Don't be ridiculous.

My God, I can't believe she... I can't
believe... What did you say?

Well, Greg, you're a handsome man, you
know. I just told her woman to woman

you were available and found her
attractive. And if she was interested,

know, she should just make her move.

Really? Yeah, Greg, that's what I told
her.

Good luck with that kidney transplant.

Hey, Kim, can I see that?

Oh.

Yeah, sure.

Started as a sweater for Sammy, but now
I think I'm going to make it bigger and

give it to Greg.

you i could get it all in one trip and
give me back my 50 all right here you go

why did she have your 50 bucks uh it was
just this thing at the coffee shop and

yeah you had to be there i ordered us up
a couple of double

decafs what's that mean double decafs

you had to be there

Sounds like going out with Christine
wasn't as bad as you thought it would

Yeah, actually, we had fun. She's a wild
one, your sister.

This woman took Sammy's granolas and we
started running.

Crazy.

Well, glad you had fun.

Yeah, fun. We had fun.

How was it being stuck here with Jimmy?

Not bad, actually. It was fun.

We had fun, too.

Really? Yeah, yeah. In fact, there was
this one thing.

Jimmy wanted to see my sweater.

He started scratching with my needle.

He had to be there.

So you guys really hit it off, huh?

Yeah, you know, Greg's actually kind of
fun once you get him alone.

In fact, tomorrow night we're going to
go to the movies.

What? Yeah, well, we figured since you
guys are laid up anyway, after we put

kids to bed, we'd catch a late show.

Oh.

Late show. Great.

Hi, honey. Hey, Mom, can I have a juice?

Yeah, that's great. Right here.

Oh, um, Jimmy.

Um, you want to go out back and hide the
Wonder Bread?

Sure, I'd, uh... I'd love to hide the
Wonder Bread.

Might be, uh, kind of tough on my cast,
but I think I can manage it.

Great. Here.

I'll go get the rest of the groceries.

I have no idea what's going on.

Hey.

Hey. Listen, I was just downstairs. I
was about to watch a movie, and then I

realized, you know, Christine and Greg
are out having a good time. Why

you and I hang out?

Yeah.

Yeah, we can have fun, too.

Yeah.

Just that we're stuck in the house
doesn't mean we can't have a good time

together. Yeah.

What movie do you have?

It's, uh, Cannonball Run.

Burt Reynolds, Farrah Fawcett, Mel
Tillis, Jimmy the Greek, and Terry

How this didn't sweep the Oscars, I will
never know.

How's your leg feel?

Actually, it's feeling pretty good.

How's your, uh, your, uh, baby holder
doing?

Jimmy, the problem isn't really my baby
holder. It's my, um, how do I put this

so you'll understand?

Hoo -hoo shoot.

So what'd you think?

Pretty good movie, huh?

Yeah, yeah.

You forget how good -looking Burt
Reynolds was.

Yeah, well, you always had a thing for a
guy with a mustache.

Oh, yeah, because Greg had the... And
the whole thing.

Sure.

Oh! What's the matter?

Oh, my neck is a little stiff from lying
in bed for two days.

Oh, here, let me help.

Oh, Jimmy, you don't have to... Oh,
Jimmy.

God, that feels great.

Yeah, I used to work in a pizza place.

Hey, if you want, I'll do your feet.

That's just like pinching a calzone.

Just keep doing what you're doing. It
feels great. Oh, God.

Oh. Mmm.

Hello. Hi.

Hey, guys.

What are you doing?

Kim's neck hurts while I was rubbing it.

You're in my bed.

Why are you in my bed?

We wanted to watch a movie together and
I'm on bed rest. What, does Jimmy need

to stay downstairs and I need to stay
upstairs?

Hold on, is something wrong here? Why
would anything be wrong?

It's like you guys can go out and pal
around and we can pal around here. Yeah,

we're pals too.

Wait a second.

Are you guys jealous?

What? You are.

You're jealous that Christine and I are
spending time together.

Why would we be jealous?

What is this, high school?

Yeah, if anything, you guys are jealous
of us.

Why would we be jealous of you? I don't
know. We're not the ones who came in

here and got all freaked out.

I'm not freaked out. I just said that it
seems a little weird, that's all. I'm

sorry I brought it up.

I'm going downstairs.

Me too. It's weird up here.

Oh, my God.

They are so jealous of us.

It's a little embarrassing.

Kim, any time.

It's just a game of Scrabble.

I lay down the towels in my bathroom
faster.

Don't rush me.

When are Greg and Christine getting
back?

I don't know. They had a lot of errands.
It could be a while.

All right, here we go.

X -ray.

X -ray?

Yeah, the word.

It's two words. X and ray.

It's one word. You want to look it up?

I think I'm going to have to use this
blank tile as an F, which makes X

raise, which lands on a double word
score, which gives me 34.

Wait a second. That's the third blank
you've used.

This is an A.

Not on the blank side, it's not.

Who's your turn?

D -H -E -A -T. Cheat.

You want to challenge that one?

No.

Is gloons your word?

No. Gloons is not a word.

Can I add to cheat?

Yes. God forbid you come up with your
own word.

Make cheats. Cheater. Cheating.

Or I can use this O and make Cheeto.

The snack?

Yeah. You spell it C -H -E -E -T -O.

You know what I mean. Close enough.

Now, no close enough. It's either a word
or it's not a word.

Christine and I play close enough and
sound alike.

Well, Christine isn't here, and you
can't use it anyway. It's a brand name

snack food.

You used a brand name for a snack food.
Where?

Right there.

Ritzy.

Ritzy is a word.

Yeah, but it's a word about a cracker.

Like, uh, hey, I thought this would
taste like a Triscuit, but instead, it's

little more ritzy.

I quit.

What? You don't take this seriously.
When I play with Greg, we have a real

Yeah, well, when I play with Christine,
it's not about winning. It's about

having fun, something you wouldn't know
anything about.

It has to just be about fun. You don't
know any words.

Why don't you pick up a book sometime
instead of rotting your brain with

movies like Cannonball Run?

What is wrong with us?

Greg and Christine are like best
friends.

Take back what you said about Cannonball
Run.

I'm sorry, Jimmy.

It just isn't working out. I miss Greg.

Yeah, I know what you mean. I miss
Christine, too.

Maybe we should just come clean with
them and tell them that we are jealous

how well they get along.

And what, beg them to spend more time
with us because we can't live without

them? No way.

Yeah, you're right.

I'm not going to go begging them.

My own wife to spend time with me.

That's degrading.

Guess we're stuck with each other.

Great.

Well, I might as well make the most of
it.

You, uh... You want me to rub your back
again?

No, Jimmy, I don't.

To be honest...

Your fingernails are dirty and they need
to be clipped.

Yeah, that's why I got fired from the
pizza place.

Turn it off. No.

Look, can you at least turn the sound
off? This is my house. No.

What's going on?

Jimmy would turn off the stupid car
race.

You're supposed to be on bed rest. Why
don't you go upstairs and give your

a rest?

Why don't you go out back and gloon
yourself?

I knew it. It is a word.

Hey, you guys, take it easy.

Look, you aren't here all day. I can see
why you're spending so much time with

Greg. What are you talking about?

It's just your husband is incredibly
annoying.

I can understand why you prefer to spend
time with mine.

Hey, your husband would rather spend
time with my wife than with you.

That's not true.

Yeah, and I don't prefer to spend time
with Greg.

Yeah, the only reason she's spending
time with Greg is because I can't leave

house. No, it's because Greg doesn't do
anything annoying like you.

I wouldn't be calling my husband
annoying if I were you because your

isn't exactly perfect.

Well, what is that supposed to mean?

It doesn't mean anything, Greg. Just
forget about it. No, no, no. I'd like to

hear. Yeah, I'd like to hear it, too.

I'm just not used to someone who cries
at movies like that. It's a little

distracting, that's all.

It's not nearly as distracting as being
ten minutes late for a movie because

somebody can't make the life -changing
decision between goobers and Raisin

Well, you could have gone into the movie
without me.

Well, I didn't know it was going to be
such a brain teaser.

Good thing they didn't have snow caps.
We'd have had Paul Kachin.

Whatever.

Don't you dare whatever me. Whatever.
Oh, don't. That's real mature. Real

mature. Whatever. Infinity.

Jimmy, you want to go watch a movie or
something?

Uh, yeah. Yeah.

Pop in cannonball rub.

I'll be right there.

Kim, would you like to play a game of
Scrabble? Sure. Great. I'd love to.

It worked.

Yeah, we got them good, didn't we? Hey,
nice touch bringing back gloom.

Yeah, you're really good at making fun
of me.

You've given me a lot to work with.

What's that supposed to mean?

Well, you know.

Kind of juvenile.

Well, you're you.

Kind of a tight ass.

Maybe you should leave before something
bad happens.

Yeah.

Hey.

At least we'll always have Greg's
mustache.

I guess we will.

I guess we will.

I don't know. Are you sure it looks
good?

Oh, yeah. You look just like Tom
Selleck.

Magnum's coming home, sweetheart.

Magnum's coming home.