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Every time I think you died, I like
coffee.
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Tease your bag.
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00:00:06,320 --> 00:00:10,120
Though it makes no sense, it's true.
There's no me without you.
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00:00:16,800 --> 00:00:17,738
You know what?
5
00:00:17,740 --> 00:00:21,180
Just get me up to see the overpriced
juice and let's get out of here.
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00:00:21,940 --> 00:00:24,240
No, we still have to go get Doug's gift.
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00:00:24,600 --> 00:00:28,560
Oh, come on. What are we going to get
our modern day hippie son -in -law at a
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00:00:28,560 --> 00:00:31,540
mall? Tell me about it. I mean, it is
2009.
9
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Would it kill Hallmark to start selling
pot?
10
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This whole place. I don't think this is
what baby Jesus had in mind when he
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invented Christmas.
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All right.
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00:00:44,680 --> 00:00:46,700
This is what this top of my interview.
You like it?
14
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I want them to know I'm serious about
this.
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00:00:48,940 --> 00:00:49,859
Mm -hmm.
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Purple jacket, purple tie, purple shoes.
Let me guess, somewhere Prince is
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naked.
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00:00:56,620 --> 00:00:59,620
This is a big deal, man. I'm bringing a
more Santa color barrier.
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I'm going to be the Jackie Robinson of
more Santas.
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00:01:02,900 --> 00:01:07,280
Listen, I'm going to go buy Doug $30
worth of candles. Can I trust you to
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00:01:07,280 --> 00:01:08,600
here and not lose it?
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This whole thing is ice.
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The wheels have come off the whole day.
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Perfect.
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So sorry.
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Don't worry, man. Don't worry. No.
27
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No, I am. Oh, my God.
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I sure hope you don't have any feeling
down there. Well, you know, maybe you do
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want feeling down there. Except for now,
you know. Maybe you like it now. I
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don't know. You know, whatever. I am
totally fine.
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I got my foamy orange drink all over
you. Hey, it was kind of hot in here.
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I'm nice and cool.
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You are being...
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Weirdly nice about this.
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Well, hey, it's a beautiful day. It's a
beautiful time of the year. I got no
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complaints.
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Really? Yeah.
38
00:01:57,720 --> 00:01:58,720
You got no complaints?
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Even with the whole dealing?
40
00:02:04,200 --> 00:02:05,820
Hey, I'm alive.
41
00:02:06,920 --> 00:02:08,780
I've got a family that just loves me.
42
00:02:09,340 --> 00:02:11,440
And now I got pants that smell like
Florida.
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Wow.
44
00:02:14,640 --> 00:02:16,660
That is an amazing attitude.
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I have a cuticle infection and I want to
smother myself with this festive
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holiday bag.
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After my injury, I was real bitter.
48
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But then I just realized how lucky I am
to still be here. So now I wear this
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rubber band.
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00:02:31,690 --> 00:02:34,430
And whenever I feel like complaining, I
just give a little snap.
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Now, if you don't complain, nothing's
bad. If nothing's bad, then you're
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And if you're happy, then life is great.
53
00:02:43,630 --> 00:02:44,630
Huh.
54
00:02:45,200 --> 00:02:46,960
I gotta go wait 30 minutes for the
elevator.
55
00:02:49,840 --> 00:02:51,860
Have a great day, huh? No.
56
00:02:52,600 --> 00:02:53,900
You don't have a great day.
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You make it a great day.
58
00:03:02,000 --> 00:03:03,000
Sorry.
59
00:03:03,320 --> 00:03:04,320
It's okay.
60
00:03:06,040 --> 00:03:08,280
It is okay.
61
00:03:12,300 --> 00:03:14,420
How old was that woman wrapping
packages?
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00:03:15,120 --> 00:03:16,400
I'm guessing like 140.
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00:03:18,520 --> 00:03:23,860
Well, on the plus side, I shook the hand
that shook the hand of Thomas Alva
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00:03:23,860 --> 00:03:24,860
Edison.
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00:03:25,140 --> 00:03:28,120
You've been extraordinarily chipper all
the way home.
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00:03:28,420 --> 00:03:29,460
What's going on?
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00:03:29,680 --> 00:03:32,900
You know, something amazing happened to
me tonight. I accidentally spilled my
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drink on a disabled guy at the food
court, and his magical message changed
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00:03:37,240 --> 00:03:40,860
life. Did anyone else see this disabled
guy?
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00:03:42,380 --> 00:03:47,040
The guy is very real, and he taught me a
very real lesson.
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00:03:47,780 --> 00:03:48,880
I'm done complaining.
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00:03:49,600 --> 00:03:50,600
About what?
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00:03:50,620 --> 00:03:51,620
About everything.
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00:03:52,020 --> 00:03:53,300
Really not getting it.
75
00:03:54,060 --> 00:03:56,620
We have rubber bands in the house
somewhere, don't we?
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00:03:56,900 --> 00:03:58,600
Over there. Why? Why?
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00:03:58,840 --> 00:04:04,020
Well, I'm going to wear a rubber band to
remind me not to complain.
78
00:04:04,460 --> 00:04:05,540
And that's for you.
79
00:04:05,960 --> 00:04:06,960
Yeah, I'm good.
80
00:04:11,400 --> 00:04:16,839
I would really like for you to do this
with me, but I'm okay if you don't.
81
00:04:21,940 --> 00:04:25,220
Eddie, there is no way on earth you're
going to be able to do this. You will
82
00:04:25,220 --> 00:04:30,540
stick to it. Remember Bacon Free
Tuesdays? Look, there was no way you
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00:04:30,540 --> 00:04:34,660
flip off that switch. You know that. I
mean, bacon is the candy of meats.
84
00:04:35,380 --> 00:04:37,860
This, this joy is a lot easier.
85
00:04:38,100 --> 00:04:39,840
I'm telling you, we can do this.
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00:04:40,080 --> 00:04:41,080
Let me show you.
87
00:04:41,240 --> 00:04:42,620
How was your day at work?
88
00:04:43,360 --> 00:04:44,360
Bad.
89
00:04:45,400 --> 00:04:47,420
Being a travel agent during the holidays
sucks.
90
00:04:48,360 --> 00:04:52,540
You're planning someone else's trip to
Saint -Tropez and you don't even get a
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00:04:52,540 --> 00:04:56,320
bonus. But you're stimulating the Saint
-Tropezian economy.
92
00:04:56,600 --> 00:05:01,420
And I'm sure that means that a little
Megalito is going to get one heck of a
93
00:05:01,420 --> 00:05:02,420
Christmas present.
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00:05:04,180 --> 00:05:09,400
Megalito. Yes. Well, I'm not really sure
what the Saint -Tropezites call their
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00:05:09,400 --> 00:05:10,400
young.
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00:05:10,800 --> 00:05:14,640
I have a feeling he's as cute as a
button and probably very tan.
97
00:05:16,540 --> 00:05:18,620
All right, you're starting to annoy the
hell out of me right now.
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00:05:18,980 --> 00:05:21,500
Want to snap my rubber band? I want to
snap your neck.
99
00:05:24,560 --> 00:05:29,940
I like complaining to you. Your whole
function in my life is to be the guy
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00:05:29,940 --> 00:05:31,200
I come home and bitch to.
101
00:05:32,600 --> 00:05:37,700
I mean, what other purpose do you serve
besides clogging the shower drain and
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00:05:37,700 --> 00:05:39,320
taking up half my Tivo space?
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Freeze that. Freeze that face. Now walk
with me.
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00:05:45,300 --> 00:05:46,860
Freeze it. Okay, come here.
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Come here.
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Walk to this mirror.
107
00:05:51,080 --> 00:05:53,940
Okay, now, look at my face.
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And look at your face.
109
00:06:00,140 --> 00:06:01,960
What do you see here? Oh, my God.
110
00:06:02,940 --> 00:06:07,220
Who is that mean but beautiful woman in
the mirror?
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00:06:08,540 --> 00:06:12,320
That is someone who is filled with...
Bile and bitterness.
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00:06:13,760 --> 00:06:18,840
Adam. No, no, it could change. Listen,
listen to me. Joy, take this ride with
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me. Our life will be healthier and
happier.
114
00:06:21,900 --> 00:06:24,960
We'll live well into our 50s. I'm almost
sure of it.
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What the hell? What I'm doing now isn't
working.
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Atta girl.
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For you.
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00:06:35,320 --> 00:06:39,620
So you... You want to maybe...
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Okay, yeah.
120
00:06:45,840 --> 00:06:46,840
Sure, why not?
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00:06:47,620 --> 00:06:52,500
Hey, a question. Does the whole not
complaining thing, does it apply to...
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00:06:52,500 --> 00:06:57,100
Yes.
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Where are you going?
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To go get a rubber band.
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00:07:15,240 --> 00:07:16,240
Yeah, it takes the pictures.
126
00:07:16,280 --> 00:07:17,400
Little gal, big talent.
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Woo!
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00:07:19,060 --> 00:07:21,500
The rest is pretty self -explanatory.
129
00:07:21,860 --> 00:07:24,200
Take one kid at a time and try to keep
it moving.
130
00:07:26,320 --> 00:07:30,220
And if you sense that they're about to
pee on you, hold them over to snow. I
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packed it pretty good with wee -wee
pants.
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From the bottom of my heart, I want to
thank you for this amazing opportunity.
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00:07:37,020 --> 00:07:38,020
Yeah, okay.
134
00:07:40,160 --> 00:07:41,160
Ho, ho, ho!
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00:07:41,400 --> 00:07:44,080
Merry Christmas! Who's my first
contestant?
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Come on up here.
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00:07:47,480 --> 00:07:49,480
Looking good, Miss Claus. Looking good.
138
00:07:51,400 --> 00:07:53,340
What do you want for Christmas, little
girl?
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00:07:53,700 --> 00:07:58,300
I want a baby doll and a princess bed
and a television for my aunt.
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00:07:58,540 --> 00:08:00,200
You got it. Smile for Frankie.
141
00:08:03,760 --> 00:08:04,760
Who's next?
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Get up here, boy.
143
00:08:08,380 --> 00:08:10,740
And what do you want for Christmas,
little boy?
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00:08:35,179 --> 00:08:41,740
says rain rain makes flowers grow yes it
145
00:08:41,740 --> 00:08:47,120
does all right you know i am really
rocking this positive thinking and it
146
00:08:47,120 --> 00:08:51,600
for everything like you know how i
always say that the way that you eat
147
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makes me want to vomit yeah yeah totally
well now i say
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00:08:57,900 --> 00:09:02,100
god when he's dead i'm gonna miss that
149
00:09:09,260 --> 00:09:12,920
It looks like the student is becoming
the master. Indeed.
150
00:09:21,760 --> 00:09:22,760
It's weird.
151
00:09:23,620 --> 00:09:24,620
What's weird?
152
00:09:26,180 --> 00:09:29,720
Just have a sniffle.
153
00:09:30,140 --> 00:09:31,300
No big deal, huh?
154
00:09:31,600 --> 00:09:32,800
Yeah. Amen. We're blessed.
155
00:09:33,040 --> 00:09:34,040
Yes.
156
00:09:34,580 --> 00:09:37,600
Indeed we are. Not that I'm complaining,
but...
157
00:09:42,320 --> 00:09:46,520
like someone has taken warm, wet cotton
balls and shoved them up my nose, and
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00:09:46,520 --> 00:09:49,080
then they decided to dig them out with
sandpaper.
159
00:09:49,860 --> 00:09:50,880
That's how it's feeling.
160
00:09:51,420 --> 00:09:53,280
Not that I'm complaining, you know.
161
00:09:53,760 --> 00:09:54,820
It's making conversation.
162
00:09:55,480 --> 00:09:56,940
Sounds a little bit like you're
complaining.
163
00:09:57,540 --> 00:09:59,920
No, because I said not complaining.
164
00:10:00,540 --> 00:10:01,800
Specifically, I said not.
165
00:10:03,160 --> 00:10:07,680
Good, because I'm not giving this up,
because I am loving this, and people are
166
00:10:07,680 --> 00:10:09,360
loving me doing it.
167
00:10:10,890 --> 00:10:15,930
I mean, if you want to stop, that's
fine. But I'm not because this is
168
00:10:15,930 --> 00:10:16,930
for me.
169
00:10:17,290 --> 00:10:18,490
Amazing for you?
170
00:10:18,710 --> 00:10:24,490
It's amazing for me. And I started doing
it six hours before you, so you don't
171
00:10:24,490 --> 00:10:30,930
even know how amazing it is until 8 o
'clock tonight. So I
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00:10:30,930 --> 00:10:32,650
envy you.
173
00:10:34,730 --> 00:10:35,730
Hey, Mom, Dad.
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00:10:35,930 --> 00:10:37,990
Can Doug and I talk to you guys about
something?
175
00:10:38,250 --> 00:10:39,250
Yeah, sure. What is it?
176
00:10:39,450 --> 00:10:43,990
Well, Mother and Father Stark, now that
we're all family, Allison and I would
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00:10:43,990 --> 00:10:45,790
like to start some new family
traditions.
178
00:10:46,010 --> 00:10:49,250
And we'd like to kick it off with...
Homemade gifts.
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00:10:49,650 --> 00:10:50,650
Homemade gifts.
180
00:10:52,190 --> 00:10:53,750
Okay. Thank you. All right.
181
00:10:54,110 --> 00:10:57,910
So nothing store -bought at all?
182
00:10:58,210 --> 00:11:00,250
No, no. Just made with love.
183
00:11:00,510 --> 00:11:01,510
And broken pasta.
184
00:11:01,710 --> 00:11:02,750
Oops, I said too much.
185
00:11:08,240 --> 00:11:10,020
Sweet. Good idea.
186
00:11:11,060 --> 00:11:12,060
Let's start dinner.
187
00:11:13,380 --> 00:11:17,720
Sweetie, could you go back to the mall
and return all those gifts?
188
00:11:18,000 --> 00:11:19,000
The mall?
189
00:11:19,380 --> 00:11:21,340
Today? Christmas Eve?
190
00:11:23,200 --> 00:11:25,160
Well, you can't do it. I can.
191
00:11:25,400 --> 00:11:27,000
I mean, I wouldn't mind.
192
00:11:27,360 --> 00:11:33,380
No, I wouldn't mind doing it. Actually,
I wouldn't mind not doing it.
193
00:11:33,680 --> 00:11:36,620
Come on, who wouldn't want to go to the
mall on...
194
00:11:36,910 --> 00:11:37,910
Christmas Eve, huh?
195
00:11:41,610 --> 00:11:42,610
In the rain.
196
00:11:44,430 --> 00:11:46,930
Could it get any better? I'll go with
you.
197
00:11:47,130 --> 00:11:48,130
I guess it can.
198
00:11:50,590 --> 00:11:53,570
You okay, sir? Never better.
199
00:11:54,030 --> 00:11:58,990
Hello. Happy holidays to you. I need to
return this coffee maker.
200
00:11:59,330 --> 00:12:00,510
Okay. Do you have the receipt?
201
00:12:01,050 --> 00:12:02,630
Receipt? I believe I do.
202
00:12:07,120 --> 00:12:08,160
Oh, paper cut. Okay.
203
00:12:08,780 --> 00:12:09,780
It's bleeding.
204
00:12:10,960 --> 00:12:12,260
I don't have a receipt.
205
00:12:13,380 --> 00:12:15,080
Okay, I can't return it without the
receipt.
206
00:12:15,980 --> 00:12:22,860
Okay. Well, listen, I know that you have
your rules, and I understand that, and
207
00:12:22,860 --> 00:12:24,400
you're following them beautifully.
208
00:12:24,720 --> 00:12:25,720
One second. Mm -hmm.
209
00:12:26,420 --> 00:12:28,120
Housewares? Hey, what's up?
210
00:12:28,880 --> 00:12:29,880
I'm working, dude.
211
00:12:30,960 --> 00:12:33,920
Well, you called me at work, so it
shouldn't be that hard to figure out.
212
00:12:36,590 --> 00:12:37,590
You shut up.
213
00:12:38,690 --> 00:12:39,850
Hold on, let me talk.
214
00:12:42,330 --> 00:12:44,110
Okay, that's cool. We'll talk later.
215
00:12:45,930 --> 00:12:47,930
Wow, sir, I'm impressed.
216
00:12:48,590 --> 00:12:52,670
The old sir would have really lost it
with that sales girl taking a personal
217
00:12:52,670 --> 00:12:53,670
call and everything.
218
00:12:54,650 --> 00:12:55,650
Well done.
219
00:12:56,130 --> 00:12:58,590
That's nice to see when young people
have friends.
220
00:13:00,110 --> 00:13:04,430
Wow. Well, I'm glad this young person
has a poncho.
221
00:13:12,330 --> 00:13:14,030
I think I know what's going on here.
222
00:13:14,470 --> 00:13:16,150
And it's not a cold.
223
00:13:16,650 --> 00:13:17,509
What do you mean?
224
00:13:17,510 --> 00:13:22,930
All right, well, you've given yourself a
personality transplant, and your body
225
00:13:22,930 --> 00:13:24,330
is rejecting it.
226
00:13:26,150 --> 00:13:28,190
Well? Well, that's ridiculous.
227
00:13:28,570 --> 00:13:30,310
I love being positive.
228
00:13:30,550 --> 00:13:32,670
I've never been this happy in my entire
life.
229
00:13:33,610 --> 00:13:38,010
Well, yeah, but the stress of holding it
in, you see, it's killing you. It's
230
00:13:38,010 --> 00:13:39,030
making you sick, sir.
231
00:13:39,250 --> 00:13:41,130
You can't force a happy peg.
232
00:13:41,680 --> 00:13:42,720
Into a sad hole.
233
00:13:44,920 --> 00:13:51,080
You need to stop it. I can't stop it.
Joy is great at this. She is crushing me
234
00:13:51,080 --> 00:13:52,860
with her love of life.
235
00:13:53,140 --> 00:13:56,700
If she could do it, I could do it. She's
not a better person than me. Come on,
236
00:13:56,700 --> 00:13:57,700
you better.
237
00:13:59,520 --> 00:14:02,940
You got, like, a lot of crazy stuff
coming out of your nose right now.
238
00:14:04,220 --> 00:14:06,680
Yeah. Okay, who was I talking to?
239
00:14:08,600 --> 00:14:10,320
You're talking to me.
240
00:14:11,250 --> 00:14:14,450
Darling, you're talking to me. You know
what I'm going to do? I'm just going to
241
00:14:14,450 --> 00:14:18,590
come back after Christmas with my
receipt and return it, okay? Okay.
242
00:14:19,350 --> 00:14:22,170
Just so you know, if you return it after
Christmas, you only get back the sale
243
00:14:22,170 --> 00:14:23,170
price.
244
00:14:25,770 --> 00:14:28,010
Ew. What is up with your eyes?
245
00:14:32,210 --> 00:14:33,450
I can't think of anything.
246
00:14:33,950 --> 00:14:34,950
Hmm.
247
00:14:35,030 --> 00:14:36,070
Well, you know what's always good?
248
00:14:36,290 --> 00:14:37,690
Cash. How much you want?
249
00:14:41,040 --> 00:14:43,140
Ten dollars, please. You're talking to
Santa Claus here.
250
00:14:43,340 --> 00:14:44,340
Negative thousand.
251
00:14:45,080 --> 00:14:46,100
Thank you, Santa.
252
00:14:46,380 --> 00:14:47,440
You are super welcome.
253
00:14:47,700 --> 00:14:48,700
Smile for Frankie.
254
00:14:51,060 --> 00:14:52,060
You're rich.
255
00:14:53,440 --> 00:14:55,020
Santa. I love it. Come here.
256
00:14:58,120 --> 00:15:01,840
Listen, we got complaints from some of
the parents. You got to back it down a
257
00:15:01,840 --> 00:15:02,759
little with the kids.
258
00:15:02,760 --> 00:15:06,040
People can't afford to buy expensive
gifts. These are tough times.
259
00:15:06,460 --> 00:15:07,460
Not for Santa.
260
00:15:09,180 --> 00:15:10,180
Look.
261
00:15:10,830 --> 00:15:12,070
I get off at five.
262
00:15:12,350 --> 00:15:17,090
I don't have time to explain to you how
Christmas really works.
263
00:15:20,870 --> 00:15:27,590
Oh, my God.
264
00:15:29,430 --> 00:15:30,970
Is everything okay?
265
00:15:31,510 --> 00:15:36,450
Well, your father's just a little messed
up in his body area.
266
00:15:37,490 --> 00:15:38,850
Everything is super.
267
00:15:40,640 --> 00:15:41,880
Why were you limping?
268
00:15:43,400 --> 00:15:45,140
My foot got in an escalator, baby.
269
00:15:45,700 --> 00:15:48,100
It was scary for a while. A couple kids
started crying.
270
00:15:49,660 --> 00:15:50,660
Want to know the upside?
271
00:15:53,020 --> 00:15:54,580
Guess he's getting new shoelaces.
272
00:15:58,600 --> 00:15:59,600
Where's mom?
273
00:16:00,260 --> 00:16:03,360
I haven't seen her for a while. I think
she might have gone out.
274
00:16:03,660 --> 00:16:04,800
Oh, well, you know what?
275
00:16:05,220 --> 00:16:08,340
Let's give her a call and have her come
home and we can get this.
276
00:16:08,730 --> 00:16:10,210
festive meal started. Yeah!
277
00:16:11,030 --> 00:16:12,030
Because it's all good.
278
00:16:39,440 --> 00:16:44,120
we have these neighbors across the
street and they have this nativity scene
279
00:16:44,120 --> 00:16:50,720
and and mary and and joseph are leaning
over baby elmo okay it's not
280
00:16:50,720 --> 00:16:56,560
not only offensive it's just confusing
you know i don't understand what they're
281
00:16:56,560 --> 00:17:02,560
trying to say with the elmo i gotta go
282
00:17:02,560 --> 00:17:07,040
what is going on here nothing
283
00:17:09,260 --> 00:17:10,400
Have been complaining.
284
00:17:11,060 --> 00:17:12,060
All right, yes.
285
00:17:12,339 --> 00:17:14,060
Okay, I have been complaining.
286
00:17:15,579 --> 00:17:17,020
How long have you been complaining?
287
00:17:17,240 --> 00:17:19,599
I don't know, like two days.
288
00:17:19,900 --> 00:17:23,160
We've only been not complaining for two
days. I know, I know.
289
00:17:23,640 --> 00:17:27,079
Listen, I gave it a solid hour. It's not
my thing, okay?
290
00:17:27,660 --> 00:17:33,720
I have been making myself sick trying to
keep up with your delightfulness.
291
00:17:34,740 --> 00:17:37,660
And look. You're the picture of health.
Do you know why? Do you know why?
292
00:17:37,700 --> 00:17:41,820
Because your blood is coursing with life
-fulfilling venom.
293
00:17:44,780 --> 00:17:48,000
So, big whoop. Okay, now you know the
truth. Complain away.
294
00:17:48,200 --> 00:17:52,180
No. No, because I'm good. And it's good
to be good.
295
00:17:53,460 --> 00:17:55,180
Yeah, it really looks like it's working
out for you.
296
00:17:55,480 --> 00:17:59,220
It's working wonderfully for me.
297
00:18:00,180 --> 00:18:02,160
Eddie, would you take a look at
yourself?
298
00:18:02,380 --> 00:18:03,560
You're a mess.
299
00:18:04,800 --> 00:18:07,400
God always tests his prophets.
300
00:18:16,120 --> 00:18:18,440
Okay. Listen up, everybody.
301
00:18:18,640 --> 00:18:23,260
Listen up. I know that you all want to
put me into a neat little box.
302
00:18:23,480 --> 00:18:27,780
Oh, there's the grumpy guy. There's the
one that everyone loves to hate.
303
00:18:28,320 --> 00:18:31,940
Daddy, you're scaring me. No reason to
be scared, darling. No reason to be
304
00:18:31,940 --> 00:18:36,840
scared. I'll tell you why. Because I am
a sweet man without a complaint in the
305
00:18:36,840 --> 00:18:38,280
world. Okay?
306
00:18:41,180 --> 00:18:43,780
Now let's all sit down to this meal.
307
00:18:44,720 --> 00:18:46,580
Thank the good Lord for our blessings.
308
00:19:06,250 --> 00:19:10,110
Doug had an idea for another holiday
tradition.
309
00:19:10,490 --> 00:19:13,430
A cornucopia of nuts and berries.
310
00:19:19,930 --> 00:19:20,650
I
311
00:19:20,650 --> 00:19:28,310
don't
312
00:19:28,310 --> 00:19:29,310
like nuts and berries.
313
00:19:30,930 --> 00:19:32,990
Oh, wait, what was that, sir?
314
00:20:04,360 --> 00:20:07,400
next month. Her apartment smells like
bug spray and I want to deal with that
315
00:20:07,400 --> 00:20:08,580
crap at this point in my life.
316
00:20:13,980 --> 00:20:15,080
I hate your nose.
317
00:20:17,700 --> 00:20:22,440
I lie in bed at night and I dread that
my grandchildren are going to be born
318
00:20:22,440 --> 00:20:23,440
with one of those.
319
00:20:32,970 --> 00:20:34,450
That dress makes you look like a slut.
320
00:20:41,750 --> 00:20:46,690
God bless us, everyone.
321
00:20:55,330 --> 00:20:56,330
What's your name, little boy?
322
00:20:56,730 --> 00:20:58,350
Jeremy. I want a puppy.
323
00:20:58,650 --> 00:20:59,930
Oh, you want a puppy, huh?
324
00:21:05,320 --> 00:21:06,480
Well, you know what's even better than a
puppy?
325
00:21:06,860 --> 00:21:08,320
A balled -up pair of socks.
326
00:21:09,000 --> 00:21:12,880
They're soft, they love you
unconditionally, and they won't give
327
00:21:12,880 --> 00:21:13,880
rabies.
328
00:21:15,640 --> 00:21:16,660
It's not for Frankie.
329
00:21:19,780 --> 00:21:21,260
But I really want a puppy.
330
00:21:21,500 --> 00:21:23,980
And I really want a beard that doesn't
smell like bourbon. That's not gonna
331
00:21:23,980 --> 00:21:24,980
happen either.
25596
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