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This week we will be docking in Germany
and visiting the Black Forest. The
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setting of many famous fairy tales. I
like Cinderella.
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The way the sweet stepsisters make that
poorly dressed girl sweep up the locker
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in the attic.
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Although after that the store just kind
of goes downhill.
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Tell me about it. They're all about
young pretty girls getting swept off
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feet by Prince Charming.
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But that actually never happens.
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It happened to me.
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What? Who is the guy?
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It's you, Dumbelina.
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Oh.
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Oh!
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Well, don't worry, Ms. Tutwiler. Someday
your prince will come.
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00:00:51,070 --> 00:00:52,070
Oh, I hope so.
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I'm tired of kissing frogs and guys that
still live with their mothers and tell
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you they love you and then get married
to your sister!
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Didn't we study this last week?
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along with me and let that out to see
what this world has for you and for me
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now bitch have a way the wind blows we
say hey ho let's go oh oh oh this boat's
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rocking oh oh oh ain't no stopping us
now cause we're living this sweet life
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the fairy tales, we need to understand
the context of the patriarchal society
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which they originated.
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If we construct a timeline, what we find
is that despite the fact that women
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were often... Mirror,
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00:02:08,740 --> 00:02:13,480
mirror on the ground, who is the most
beautifully in the town?
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Duh.
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You, of course. And I'm not just saying
that because you signed my paycheck.
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Love you. I'll hold that thought. I hate
to say this, but she's prettier than
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you.
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La -da -da -da -da -da -da.
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Fly away, my friend.
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00:02:41,560 --> 00:02:47,840
What? Mirror, you are cracking up. If
it's any consolation, you have a nice
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personality.
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00:02:52,720 --> 00:02:53,720
to prove it.
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You, Hunter, come here. Good day.
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You're looking well, Queen.
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Duh.
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Hunter, I want you to find a girl.
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You sound like my mother.
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I mean, Hunter, down and bring me your
head.
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I don't think I have a license for that.
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Just do it.
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All right.
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00:03:18,140 --> 00:03:19,440
How will I find this girl?
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00:03:20,140 --> 00:03:21,820
She's the face of a goblin.
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Hair like a witch's broom and skin as
thickly pale as a vampire's tushy.
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Got it.
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I don't see anyone like that. Just that
gorgeous girl over
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there.
51
00:04:01,800 --> 00:04:03,040
Would you like to help me pick flowers?
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The roses are in bloom. Come.
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Wonderful. You have a knife.
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There you... Careful.
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That's sharp. Someone could get hurt.
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wants me to get rid of you but i don't
even want to be a hunter i wanted to be
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musician but my father was all oh well
that's not music that's noise and i was
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all well you don't understand me man
check this
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00:05:05,100 --> 00:05:06,820
to help you, but the queen must think
that you are dead.
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00:05:07,200 --> 00:05:08,200
Oh. Oh,
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00:05:10,780 --> 00:05:11,780
that's good.
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00:05:12,540 --> 00:05:15,720
But I was thinking more of the running
away and hiding sort of thing. Right.
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Yeah, and go.
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00:05:49,680 --> 00:05:51,040
Let's crash here until I can find my own
place.
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00:05:52,460 --> 00:05:55,180
You want to wait until we get to the
mine before you start digging?
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00:05:57,300 --> 00:05:59,040
Okay, but there's a mother load up
there.
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00:06:01,460 --> 00:06:05,760
Um, aren't there supposed to be seven of
you? You're thinking of the seven stuck
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00:06:05,760 --> 00:06:07,060
-up jerks who live next door.
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00:06:07,320 --> 00:06:10,660
Yeah, you do one movie 70 years ago and
you think you're hot stuff.
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00:06:13,980 --> 00:06:19,440
Anywho, I was looking for a place to
stay, but I see this lovely cat. Happen
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00:06:19,440 --> 00:06:20,440
occupied.
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00:06:21,460 --> 00:06:22,920
Not so fast.
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00:06:23,840 --> 00:06:24,840
Maybe you could stay.
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If you do a little cooking.
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Maybe some cleaning.
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00:06:28,580 --> 00:06:30,160
What do I look like? The maid?
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You will when you wear the little
uniform.
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00:06:38,720 --> 00:06:43,420
Is the deed done?
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00:06:43,740 --> 00:06:44,740
Of course, my queen.
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00:06:45,580 --> 00:06:47,360
I brought you her head as proof.
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00:06:57,260 --> 00:07:00,180
Thank goodness she never asked me who's
the smartest in the land.
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00:07:01,480 --> 00:07:02,960
Okay, here we go.
83
00:07:03,900 --> 00:07:07,520
Mirror, mirror in the woods. Now who's
really got the goods?
84
00:07:07,880 --> 00:07:09,860
Oh, what does it matter what I think?
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00:07:10,300 --> 00:07:11,620
It's just what mirrors opinion.
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Tell me or I'll kick the shards out of
you.
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Oh, you are evil.
88
00:07:19,840 --> 00:07:21,100
Okay, okay.
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It's Snow White.
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She's still alive.
91
00:07:24,160 --> 00:07:26,460
And she's playing house with some
dwarves.
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00:07:27,120 --> 00:07:28,120
Oh, I hate myself.
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00:07:28,920 --> 00:07:31,440
What? I've been tricked by that hunter.
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And whoever this girl was.
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Bye,
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Snow. Bye, Snow. It's off to, well, you
know.
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00:08:26,120 --> 00:08:31,320
Yummy. It doesn't taste funny?
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00:08:31,540 --> 00:08:32,860
Maybe a little poison -y?
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00:08:34,260 --> 00:08:36,260
No, it's delicious.
100
00:09:10,350 --> 00:09:11,350
brother's concert around here.
101
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Charming.
102
00:10:36,700 --> 00:10:39,560
So, uh, you want to live happily ever
after?
103
00:10:40,060 --> 00:10:41,680
You know, once I get my eyes checked?
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Okay.
105
00:10:51,060 --> 00:10:52,600
Mirror, mirror on the sand.
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Don't make me grind you into sand.
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You're the prettiest.
108
00:10:57,940 --> 00:11:01,600
No contest. You're hot like dragon's
breath.
109
00:11:05,580 --> 00:11:08,960
Try to take care of myself, exercise,
eat lots of fruits and veggies.
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00:11:10,160 --> 00:11:11,160
Uh -oh.
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different cultures throughout history
were often used as caution.
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Come on, kids, keep up.
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I hate walking.
114
00:11:45,300 --> 00:11:47,280
Can't we just stay home and watch some
TV?
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Old woman in shoe plus eight is on.
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Too much TV will rot your brain, Hansel.
Can it, Gretel?
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00:11:54,980 --> 00:11:58,260
How many times have I told you I prefer
to be called Greg?
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Hey, look.
119
00:12:06,700 --> 00:12:13,560
wonderful to be out here taking a walk
deep in the woods with my two favorite
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00:12:13,560 --> 00:12:19,840
boys i'm hungry i can't imagine why
you've already eaten me out of house and
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00:12:19,840 --> 00:12:26,740
home you have bread and you're throwing
it on the ground
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i'm leaving a trail just in case we get
lost what happened to your compass i
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lost it
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00:12:47,480 --> 00:12:50,060
This is why I wanted to leave a trail.
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00:13:48,580 --> 00:13:51,740
Maybe we should keep walking and see if
we can find a house made of tofu.
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00:13:52,160 --> 00:13:56,640
Oh, yeah, yeah, man, good idea. Okay,
you look for that, and I'll stay here
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warn any passing kids about the dangers
of tooth decay.
128
00:14:02,440 --> 00:14:04,040
Hello, children.
129
00:14:09,080 --> 00:14:10,560
Oh, is this your house?
130
00:14:10,820 --> 00:14:12,340
I'm sorry if we're disturbing you.
131
00:14:46,320 --> 00:14:48,100
a bad feeling about her. Why?
132
00:14:48,380 --> 00:14:50,660
Because she has a witch hat and a big
warty nose?
133
00:14:51,040 --> 00:14:52,040
Who cares?
134
00:14:52,660 --> 00:14:54,120
She's my new sugar mama.
135
00:14:55,420 --> 00:14:56,420
Come in, mama.
136
00:14:58,720 --> 00:15:00,460
Oh, delicious.
137
00:15:01,740 --> 00:15:03,660
I mean, delightful.
138
00:15:07,600 --> 00:15:14,540
I can't believe you ate the
139
00:15:14,540 --> 00:15:15,540
toilet.
140
00:15:30,280 --> 00:15:33,420
I find that eating in moderation and
daily exercise is the key.
141
00:15:33,920 --> 00:15:35,980
About that, I also ate your treadmill.
142
00:15:38,500 --> 00:15:40,680
That wasn't made of candy.
143
00:15:41,980 --> 00:15:44,340
That explains why I have the runs.
144
00:15:51,200 --> 00:15:53,920
There's got to be something around here
I can use to make a salad.
145
00:16:06,860 --> 00:16:07,860
is a cutie pie.
146
00:16:08,060 --> 00:16:09,060
Hello.
147
00:16:10,560 --> 00:16:12,400
Dude, you're flirting with pastry.
148
00:16:13,000 --> 00:16:14,860
Yeah, well, you're flirting with
hypertension.
149
00:16:17,440 --> 00:16:22,100
Listen, you two are in grave danger. The
woman who lives here is a witch who
150
00:16:22,100 --> 00:16:24,080
fattens kids up before she bakes them
into pie.
151
00:17:54,670 --> 00:17:55,670
She's single.
152
00:18:33,070 --> 00:18:35,030
all the time, just trolling for babes.
153
00:18:35,690 --> 00:18:38,030
Yeah, but he's not looking for a babe
who's a troll.
154
00:18:40,550 --> 00:18:42,330
Oh, he's a prince.
155
00:18:43,130 --> 00:18:46,290
He's not interested in a witch like me.
156
00:18:46,870 --> 00:18:48,370
Oh, you're not a witch.
157
00:18:53,510 --> 00:18:55,190
You're a hag at worst.
158
00:18:57,650 --> 00:19:00,230
You know what? You just need a makeover.
159
00:19:00,730 --> 00:19:06,180
You know, style that. hair, shave that
mole, maybe a mani -pedi, Hansel take
160
00:19:06,180 --> 00:19:07,180
feet.
161
00:19:12,480 --> 00:19:14,140
Can't we just push her in the oven?
162
00:19:22,100 --> 00:19:25,660
Do you really think I look pretty?
163
00:19:28,420 --> 00:19:29,420
Gorgeous.
164
00:19:29,660 --> 00:19:30,660
Stunning.
165
00:19:32,010 --> 00:19:33,010
Someone eat my eyes.
166
00:20:32,160 --> 00:20:33,600
You're calling me a cow?
167
00:20:36,320 --> 00:20:38,200
We need the money for food.
168
00:20:38,500 --> 00:20:39,560
What's wrong with a hamburger?
169
00:20:41,280 --> 00:20:43,080
Hey, keep your hooves to yourself.
170
00:20:43,960 --> 00:20:45,080
Come on, move.
171
00:20:46,840 --> 00:20:48,380
I've never heard that one before.
172
00:20:52,740 --> 00:20:54,900
My feet are tired.
173
00:20:55,220 --> 00:20:59,900
I'm really thirsty. I sure could use a
glass of milk. Don't even think about
174
00:21:02,510 --> 00:21:04,690
and sell me already. All right, come on,
let's go.
175
00:21:05,130 --> 00:21:06,130
Hey, hey,
176
00:21:07,050 --> 00:21:09,430
hey. Want to buy some beans?
177
00:21:11,470 --> 00:21:12,630
Oops, I'm sorry, wrong side.
178
00:21:14,370 --> 00:21:16,770
Beans? What kind of idiot do you think I
am?
179
00:21:17,390 --> 00:21:19,570
But these are magic beans.
180
00:21:19,770 --> 00:21:20,770
In that case, deal.
181
00:21:36,520 --> 00:21:37,740
You should have traded her for a helmet.
182
00:22:11,080 --> 00:22:12,080
there's a food court.
183
00:22:12,600 --> 00:22:13,900
I'll be right back.
184
00:22:16,780 --> 00:22:18,960
Yeah, that's what your father said.
185
00:22:24,120 --> 00:22:26,040
Wow, what a view from up here.
186
00:23:04,780 --> 00:23:06,000
I swear I smelled hooligan.
187
00:23:07,620 --> 00:23:09,100
I think I'm getting a cold.
188
00:23:43,080 --> 00:23:43,879
ribber pate.
189
00:23:43,880 --> 00:23:45,560
Oh, that sounds delicious.
190
00:23:46,060 --> 00:23:47,600
Wait a minute.
191
00:23:51,500 --> 00:23:56,980
Does it look like me?
192
00:23:59,360 --> 00:24:04,000
Wow, a golden egg. That does not belong
to you.
193
00:24:05,080 --> 00:24:06,780
And just what are you supposed to do?
194
00:24:13,260 --> 00:24:15,620
supposed to be here. Mind your own
business.
195
00:24:16,680 --> 00:24:18,580
Ow! Quit playing me!
196
00:24:20,480 --> 00:24:22,940
Three, five, four, Frankie!
197
00:24:23,180 --> 00:24:25,300
Where did I leave my pocket, Hanky?
198
00:24:28,980 --> 00:24:31,500
Thief! Thief! Thief! Where?
199
00:24:31,960 --> 00:24:33,680
Here! You!
200
00:24:35,460 --> 00:24:38,240
You're trying to steal my goose and my
harp!
201
00:24:38,760 --> 00:24:41,240
Well, actually, just the goose. The harp
is annoying.
202
00:24:51,600 --> 00:24:54,440
I happen to be 60 feet tall.
203
00:24:57,040 --> 00:24:58,480
Okay, 59 and a half.
204
00:24:59,980 --> 00:25:01,300
What's with the dollhouse?
205
00:25:02,440 --> 00:25:04,220
It's for my niece.
206
00:25:07,640 --> 00:25:11,360
If you are through talking, I am going
to smash you to bits.
15391
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