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1
00:00:06,220 --> 00:00:09,020
Guys, I just heard the most amazing
news. You'll never, ever, ever guess
2
00:00:09,020 --> 00:00:10,440
is. Never, ever. Guess what?
3
00:00:11,260 --> 00:00:14,260
The Swedish bikini team came on board
and the lotion boy missed the boat.
4
00:00:16,000 --> 00:00:20,420
Why do you always guess that? Because if
I say it enough, one day it might
5
00:00:20,420 --> 00:00:21,420
really happen.
6
00:00:22,440 --> 00:00:25,540
Judging by your level of excitement, I
can only assume that botanists have
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00:00:25,540 --> 00:00:29,160
successfully cross -pollinated the
rhododendron with the periwinkle,
8
00:00:29,160 --> 00:00:30,160
the rhodo -winkle?
9
00:00:31,980 --> 00:00:32,980
Uh, no.
10
00:00:33,100 --> 00:00:34,660
Yes! Then the race is still on.
11
00:00:37,000 --> 00:00:38,000
I think I'm guessing.
12
00:00:38,740 --> 00:00:41,280
Jordan Sparks is on the boat. Jordan
Sparks?
13
00:00:41,620 --> 00:00:44,780
I love her. I voted for her like a
hundred times on Idol. What?
14
00:00:45,220 --> 00:00:49,000
Oh, Margaret, Jordan Sparks is on the
boat. Can you please get me an
15
00:00:50,120 --> 00:00:51,300
Sparky? Yeah. No.
16
00:00:53,340 --> 00:00:54,540
Well, why not?
17
00:00:55,040 --> 00:00:58,080
Well, the last time I saw her, I was
hanging out with Fergie and Flo Rida.
18
00:00:58,300 --> 00:01:00,880
And now I'm hanging out with you guys.
19
00:01:02,100 --> 00:01:04,940
Miss Sparks, it is such an honor to have
you on board.
20
00:01:13,230 --> 00:01:14,970
And he's embarrassed by us.
21
00:01:16,550 --> 00:01:19,830
Thank you so much for doing a couple of
concerts for our guests.
22
00:01:20,130 --> 00:01:24,290
Yeah, well, how could I say no after you
sent the flowers, the muffin basket,
23
00:01:24,530 --> 00:01:28,610
and the toy replica of the S .S.
Simpson, which is so awesome in the
24
00:01:28,610 --> 00:01:29,589
the way.
25
00:01:29,590 --> 00:01:32,510
Yes, the toy boat is always a deal
closer.
26
00:01:33,490 --> 00:01:36,870
Plus, it'll give me a chance to try out
some material for my new album. Oh, and
27
00:01:36,870 --> 00:01:39,810
there's no better place to be creative
than a peaceful cruise.
28
00:01:48,000 --> 00:01:52,860
Leave Miss Sparks alone or I will cut
you up and throw you out the sewage
29
00:01:53,440 --> 00:01:57,480
And I thought Simon was mean.
30
00:02:57,360 --> 00:02:58,119
people see.
31
00:02:58,120 --> 00:03:00,100
We must maintain an aura of dignity.
32
00:03:05,700 --> 00:03:06,700
London,
33
00:03:08,040 --> 00:03:09,040
what are you doing?
34
00:03:09,720 --> 00:03:13,640
I had a contest on gay me starting
London Tipton for a viewer to come on
35
00:03:13,640 --> 00:03:17,100
ship for a week and be best friends with
me. Here, here in charge of confetti.
36
00:03:28,940 --> 00:03:30,360
the t -shirt that says, Yay me!
37
00:04:03,310 --> 00:04:07,410
talk to Jordan and pull a few strings.
We could have gotten front row seats.
38
00:04:07,410 --> 00:04:09,070
only string I'm pulling is this one.
39
00:04:11,630 --> 00:04:18,390
Ladies and gentlemen, we have a very
special
40
00:04:18,390 --> 00:04:22,290
guest performer tonight and I know you
are as excited as I am. Well, maybe not
41
00:04:22,290 --> 00:04:24,210
quite as excited because I can't feel my
feet.
42
00:04:27,390 --> 00:04:30,710
They do tend to swell up in the
humidity. Jordan Sparks!
43
00:05:16,390 --> 00:05:17,390
of all again
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00:05:50,060 --> 00:05:51,060
Regulant compound.
45
00:05:51,820 --> 00:05:53,040
Call publisher.
46
00:05:54,960 --> 00:05:57,200
Cody, I need your help. I'm doing
homework.
47
00:05:57,540 --> 00:05:59,520
Yeah, but this could actually get us
ahead in life.
48
00:06:00,680 --> 00:06:03,280
Let's write a song for Jordan Spark's
new album.
49
00:06:03,980 --> 00:06:06,140
You can't just sit down and write a hit
song.
50
00:06:06,400 --> 00:06:07,359
Why not?
51
00:06:07,360 --> 00:06:12,180
You write all those sappy poems to
Bailey, put one to music, and bam, it's
52
00:06:12,180 --> 00:06:13,180
hit.
53
00:06:13,280 --> 00:06:17,520
Bailey does love my poems, and so will
all the other women in the world for a
54
00:06:17,520 --> 00:06:18,660
buck twenty -nine download.
55
00:06:20,940 --> 00:06:21,819
You're right.
56
00:06:21,820 --> 00:06:23,300
I'm in. Let's do it.
57
00:06:26,300 --> 00:06:27,300
Mmm.
58
00:06:30,080 --> 00:06:31,080
I got it.
59
00:06:31,700 --> 00:06:32,860
A love song.
60
00:06:33,760 --> 00:06:35,060
Oh, good idea.
61
00:06:35,640 --> 00:06:38,020
All right, you noodle with that and I'll
go get us some snacks.
62
00:08:09,230 --> 00:08:16,210
on our song we are just about done i
love collaborating with you let me
63
00:08:16,210 --> 00:08:23,090
hear it like water flows or falls from
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00:08:23,090 --> 00:08:28,690
above you shower me with a feeling of
love
65
00:08:28,690 --> 00:08:35,450
if you leave me i'll soon realize that's
so
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00:08:35,450 --> 00:08:37,590
constriction we'll start in
67
00:08:41,319 --> 00:08:42,679
We'll soon set in.
68
00:08:42,960 --> 00:08:44,039
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
69
00:08:44,780 --> 00:08:45,780
Whoa.
70
00:08:47,200 --> 00:08:48,200
Hypovolemia?
71
00:08:48,900 --> 00:08:52,600
Yeah, it's what happens when your blood
gets dehydrated. If not treated
72
00:08:52,600 --> 00:08:55,280
properly, your eyes can crust over and
fall out of your head.
73
00:08:56,160 --> 00:08:57,160
Yeah.
74
00:08:57,860 --> 00:09:00,260
I'm thinking we should get a
professional to look at this.
75
00:09:00,460 --> 00:09:01,640
You mean a hematologist?
76
00:09:02,800 --> 00:09:04,160
No, I mean a musician.
77
00:09:04,820 --> 00:09:06,480
Maybe we should run this past Marcus.
78
00:09:07,220 --> 00:09:09,740
Why? Because he's won a Grammy.
79
00:09:10,220 --> 00:09:12,320
And you rhymed windy with kidney.
80
00:09:16,920 --> 00:09:20,280
I'll have the ahi tuna salad dressing on
the side. No chives. Extra ginger.
81
00:09:20,660 --> 00:09:24,240
And I'll have the ahi tuna salad
dressing on the side. No chives.
82
00:09:24,520 --> 00:09:25,520
Extra ginger.
83
00:09:26,980 --> 00:09:28,460
Wow, we have the same taste.
84
00:09:28,700 --> 00:09:31,940
We have so much in common. Except I'm
way richer than you.
85
00:09:33,580 --> 00:09:36,120
I'm sorry, but we just are the last tuna
to that gentleman.
86
00:09:55,980 --> 00:10:00,460
If there's anything else on the menu,
I'd... What menu?
87
00:10:01,880 --> 00:10:03,160
She wants tuna!
88
00:10:04,420 --> 00:10:07,200
But we're... Don't say out!
89
00:10:11,460 --> 00:10:14,640
You know, the flounder is extremely...
Why?
90
00:10:32,460 --> 00:10:33,460
that waiter?
91
00:10:33,760 --> 00:10:35,160
She's just trying to get my order.
92
00:10:35,620 --> 00:10:36,620
Isn't she sweet?
93
00:10:42,760 --> 00:10:46,520
Okay, that girl is more unbalanced than
a three -legged pig on a frozen pond.
94
00:10:47,320 --> 00:10:50,980
Bailey, Bailey, Bailey, you're just
jealous because you don't have a fan who
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00:10:50,980 --> 00:10:52,660
loves you as much as Alyssa loves me.
96
00:10:53,460 --> 00:10:54,560
She's like a little angel.
97
00:11:33,870 --> 00:11:37,450
find you falling from my eyes.
98
00:11:41,670 --> 00:11:43,870
So what did you think?
99
00:11:44,450 --> 00:11:46,950
Not bad. A couple of minor comments.
100
00:11:47,390 --> 00:11:48,390
I'm all ears.
101
00:11:48,550 --> 00:11:52,850
Well, your hook is weak, the melody is
off, and the tempo is slower than a
102
00:11:52,850 --> 00:11:53,850
with a limp.
103
00:11:54,390 --> 00:11:55,430
Minor comments.
104
00:11:55,750 --> 00:11:57,810
Remember, all ears. Happy ears.
105
00:11:59,130 --> 00:12:01,650
Look, a hit song needs to reach out and
grab people by the gut.
106
00:12:02,210 --> 00:12:03,210
Like, um,
107
00:12:11,440 --> 00:12:14,180
That's the sound the garbage disposal
makes when there's a spoon in it.
108
00:12:15,280 --> 00:12:19,520
You're telling me about music? It just
so happens that I've played the French
109
00:12:19,520 --> 00:12:20,640
horn since kindergarten.
110
00:12:21,040 --> 00:12:22,700
I think I know what I'm talking about.
111
00:12:23,160 --> 00:12:25,900
I won a Grammy and played Madison Square
Garden. I win!
112
00:12:26,540 --> 00:12:30,140
Guys, guys, guys, come on. It's just
some creative differences.
113
00:12:30,440 --> 00:12:31,680
And that's to be expected.
114
00:12:31,960 --> 00:12:33,900
And, Cody, you can't be so defensive.
115
00:12:34,180 --> 00:12:35,680
I'm not being so defensive.
116
00:12:36,060 --> 00:12:40,000
I just don't want to take advice about
the music biz from someone who got
117
00:12:40,000 --> 00:12:40,909
out of it.
118
00:12:40,910 --> 00:12:43,390
Or should I say, boo -da -boo -da -bapt
out of it.
119
00:12:44,810 --> 00:12:46,890
I'm going to boo -da -boo -da -bapt you
upside the head.
120
00:12:47,170 --> 00:12:50,590
You know, hearing it this much, it is
kind of catchy.
121
00:12:51,250 --> 00:12:52,490
Whose side are you on?
122
00:12:52,770 --> 00:12:54,090
Whichever side will make me money.
123
00:12:54,370 --> 00:12:57,670
Well, I'm not going to sell out. But
you're telling me you won't sell
124
00:12:58,630 --> 00:13:01,230
This is from the brilliant mind behind
Retainer Baby.
125
00:13:01,550 --> 00:13:05,730
That song went triple platinum. Because
they gave it out in cereal boxes.
126
00:13:37,160 --> 00:13:39,900
I was trying to sneak a carob -covered
kiwi from your fruit basket.
127
00:13:40,860 --> 00:13:42,560
I can't believe Cody said this.
128
00:13:42,800 --> 00:13:43,860
Why? Is something misspelled?
129
00:13:45,520 --> 00:13:47,200
No, he just seemed so mad before.
130
00:13:47,820 --> 00:13:49,300
Oh, well, I'm going to go thank him.
131
00:13:49,500 --> 00:13:53,500
No, no, no, no, no. I think the best way
to thank him would be for us to make
132
00:13:53,500 --> 00:13:54,500
that song a hit.
133
00:13:55,260 --> 00:13:57,760
Starting with that boo -da -boo -da -bat
thing, huh?
134
00:13:58,020 --> 00:14:02,060
Huh? Oh, yeah, we got to have a beat.
All right, well, you noodle with that
135
00:14:02,060 --> 00:14:03,540
beat while I go get us some snacks.
136
00:15:12,560 --> 00:15:15,400
You just go in there and give her the
song.
137
00:15:15,620 --> 00:15:20,540
No. I mean, I never liked it when people
shoved their songs at me. I want the
138
00:15:20,540 --> 00:15:21,860
music to speak for itself.
139
00:15:22,200 --> 00:15:23,200
All right.
140
00:15:23,480 --> 00:15:24,480
Ahem.
141
00:15:25,360 --> 00:15:26,360
Hit it.
142
00:15:30,360 --> 00:15:36,800
Like water flows, falls from above, you
shower me
143
00:15:36,800 --> 00:15:38,160
with a...
144
00:15:51,090 --> 00:15:54,750
What are you doing?
145
00:15:55,970 --> 00:15:57,630
We're trying to get Jordan to hear our
song.
146
00:15:58,090 --> 00:15:59,090
Our song?
147
00:15:59,310 --> 00:16:02,730
And by the way, thanks for sending me
the fruit basket.
148
00:16:03,790 --> 00:16:05,150
I didn't send you a fruit basket.
149
00:16:05,810 --> 00:16:12,610
But Zach said... Okay, I can
150
00:16:12,610 --> 00:16:14,990
explain. Just give me a second to come
up with something.
151
00:16:24,680 --> 00:16:25,359
the hook and the beat.
152
00:16:25,360 --> 00:16:26,360
You made it better.
153
00:17:00,360 --> 00:17:02,240
she trick you? She said, get in the
closet.
154
00:17:02,460 --> 00:17:03,940
And I fell for it.
155
00:17:05,060 --> 00:17:08,460
Now, I'm starting to think that Alyssa's
a little creepy.
156
00:17:09,720 --> 00:17:10,720
Come on.
157
00:17:18,380 --> 00:17:19,380
Let's go, amigos.
158
00:17:20,260 --> 00:17:22,819
Now, we have to get to Jordan before the
show starts.
159
00:18:02,190 --> 00:18:03,190
Not just because you're on a boat.
160
00:18:06,150 --> 00:18:08,490
You guys are going to clap no matter
what I say, aren't you?
161
00:18:11,130 --> 00:18:12,250
Jordan, I love you!
162
00:18:17,750 --> 00:18:20,470
Great. We missed her. No, that's okay.
163
00:18:20,890 --> 00:18:22,370
We'll play it for her after the show.
164
00:18:23,390 --> 00:18:26,970
I'd like to start with a new song. I'm
not really sure who wrote it, but as
165
00:18:26,970 --> 00:18:28,970
as I perform it, maybe the writer will
come forward.
166
00:18:34,380 --> 00:18:35,480
Oh, your mustache is crooked.
167
00:18:43,620 --> 00:18:44,620
It's fine.
168
00:18:44,720 --> 00:18:45,820
Guys, guys, guys.
169
00:18:46,320 --> 00:18:48,580
Listen. Jordan is singing our song.
170
00:19:10,190 --> 00:19:11,590
closet is trying to steal my astrology.
171
00:19:12,530 --> 00:19:13,690
Identity. That too.
172
00:19:15,270 --> 00:19:18,910
Arrest her. I'm London Tipton and she's
trying to steal my identity.
173
00:19:19,370 --> 00:19:20,910
Okay, what is going on here?
174
00:19:21,330 --> 00:19:24,670
I'm London Tipton. Oh, no, you're not. I
am.
175
00:19:24,930 --> 00:19:25,990
Prove it. When's your birthday?
176
00:19:27,770 --> 00:19:28,770
Really,
177
00:19:29,830 --> 00:19:30,830
London?
178
00:19:31,370 --> 00:19:35,250
Security. I'm going to call daddy and
get you all fired.
179
00:19:37,770 --> 00:19:39,970
Hey, you got to admire her.
180
00:19:53,130 --> 00:19:54,130
You guys wrote this song?
181
00:19:54,350 --> 00:19:55,670
Yes. Yes.
182
00:19:56,110 --> 00:19:57,110
See?
183
00:19:59,090 --> 00:20:00,090
Marcus?
184
00:20:00,350 --> 00:20:01,350
Marcus Little?
185
00:20:01,590 --> 00:20:03,810
What are you doing playing in a mariachi
band?
186
00:20:05,690 --> 00:20:06,690
I'm not.
187
00:20:06,970 --> 00:20:08,210
This is just a disguise.
188
00:20:08,810 --> 00:20:10,470
Although the tips are fantastic.
189
00:20:11,850 --> 00:20:14,790
Well, listen, I emailed you a whole
bunch of times and I never heard
190
00:20:14,790 --> 00:20:19,070
back. Sorry, I guess after my record
label dunked me, I was just a little
191
00:20:19,070 --> 00:20:20,070
embarrassed.
192
00:20:22,860 --> 00:20:23,860
I love the song you guys wrote.
193
00:20:23,900 --> 00:20:24,900
Thanks.
194
00:20:25,160 --> 00:20:28,280
So, let's talk about putting it on my
new album.
195
00:20:29,220 --> 00:20:32,720
Yes! And it's going to be very special
because I'm going to donate all the
196
00:20:32,720 --> 00:20:33,720
proceeds to charity.
197
00:20:34,780 --> 00:20:35,780
No!
198
00:20:50,490 --> 00:20:52,450
and I'm sure she understands me
completely.
199
00:21:20,140 --> 00:21:21,260
I'm taking care of my illicit problem.
15491
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