Original subtitles

Look at the fucking nerds.

What are you doing in here?

You again.

Just seeing what's going on.

We're studying.

Studying? American Revolution, ever heard of it? I'm studying for music

No, American Revolution?

Oh, that was like the Civil War, right?

You fucking live here. You should at least know the history of our country.

That's old -ass shit anyway. It doesn't matter.

You should get out of here. This is going to hurt your brain. We're

We're busy.

You guys are such fucking nerds all the time. It's all you do. It's ridiculous.

Okay, we got accepted to Yale, so we have to do whatever it is to pass.

I'm not just signing for my exam at Harvard, which you probably can't relate

Because you're dumb.

I'm just trying to be a good stepbrother and check up on you guys.

Well, you don't need to check on us. You can leave.

We're fine.

Let us study.

I mean, college is like a big scam. You guys know that, right?

I mean, what do you know about life, huh?

You're not going to get into college.

I don't, because I don't want to go to college.

What are you going to do?

I'm going to start an AI cryptocurrency company that sells courses

to teach other people how to make AI cryptocurrency companies.

Oh, so you're going to... Like, honestly, like, really, like, high

you guys wouldn't like. You guys are, you know...

you're gonna be like nine to five you know like wagey people and i'm gonna be

big computer internet dude and have like you know like lamborghinis and stuff

with what money are you gonna start up with alex i just grant's helping me

it i don't need money it really hurts my head how dumb you are you are so dumb

get your shit together yeah you're such a loser

I'm a loser? You guys are probably like virgins, honestly. All you do is just

read books all day, and just, you're in the library, and we come home from

school. You guys are just... Excuse me, I'm fucking hot.

You think I just study?

Okay, Alex, what we do is none of your business. We have a lot of fun, we just

don't like to tell you about it.

Yeah, because you're a loser.

You guys are a lot of...

uh -uh we go i never see you at any like the like parties or anything we don't

tell you what we don't invite you we don't invite losers you you guys are

telling me that you actually have sex with guys and stuff yeah decent amount

we've been having sex with men that's crazy yeah no way It's not like you'll

pull anything because you're so dumb.

You'll probably just sit in your room and be a little loser.

And jerk off all day, huh? Watching porn?

Yeah, your best friend's your right hand.

I get, honestly, like, I get so much pussy, it's like kind of crazy.

It's like, really honestly, if I got laughed at, it would be better.

Uh -uh, uh -uh.

Because, you know what my theory is, Alex? You have a micro -penis. No girl

ever going to want to see that, Alex.

Alex, if you're going to lie, at least make it good.

Micro penis?

Yes, micro. You heard me. Yeah, like wearing you like a microscope to take a

look at it. My penis is like, I mean, I don't know. It's like nine inches, eight

inches around. It's like I have a huge penis, honestly.

Okay, look, we don't really want to hear it. What my sister and I are trying to

say is you got to get the fuck out while we're trying to study, okay? Leave us

to it. Yeah, we're busy.

Just go.

I'm just trying to like, don't you guys ever want to break?

Don't you guys want to do anything else besides study?

I don't want to do anything with you.

In our own time?

Yeah.

Whatever, you guys are just jealous that I'm the coolest guy in school

and that I'm going to be like super rich soon and I'm not going to have to go to

college and nerd like you.

And I have, like, a huge penis in, like, every girl.

You're lying. Shut up.

You are so delusional.

Stop lying. Shut up.

You're annoying.

Get out.

Honestly, that's it. That's it. Get out. I had enough.

Get out. You can't make me.

Hey!

Stop! Did you not hear what my stepsister said?

Get out!

Okay, fine. Fine. You guys want to be nerds?

I'll leave. I'll leave you alone.

I'll leave.

But...

I do have a massive cock and I'm always going to be cooler than you guys.

No, no, no, no. Hey, what are you doing?

No. Get off of me. No.

Stop. What, massive cock?

This is nine inches to you.

It's not right now.

Have you ever heard of a roller roll?

Holy shit, this is the size of a shrimp.

It's cold in here.

cold it gets like smaller liar you said nine inches what the fuck that's a

little guy look at that itty bitty oh my god a little shrimp do you guys not i

thought you guys were like scientists or whatever don't you like it's small

right now but it gets way bigger when it gets hard i don't believe it keep lying

bro keep you're just delusional alex you wish you got nine inches hard yeah

It is. It's tiny.

It's tiny right now. It gets bigger. I can show you a picture or something.

Ew.

Wait. I think you should show him your boobs.

What? No, seriously. Show him your boobs. Let's see him prove it. Because I

no doubt he's lying.

It's not going to get big.

You know what? We'll make it an experiment.

Okay.

If I show boobs, nothing happens. He doesn't have nine inches.

No fucking way. Yeah, show him your boobs.

Yeah. You've never seen boobs like that, Alex.

Yeah, because you're a loser.

I've seen boobs before. It does all kinds of stuff.

And I bet you can't even get hard.

Yeah. Because you're a loser.

You guys are just yelling at me.

Because you're a loser. We deserve to be yelled at.

Yeah. You can't get hard for boobs, huh?

Yeah. I can get hard. Just give me like a second.

One.

Time has gone by, Alex. Please talk.

The clock is ticking.

I'll show you. I'll show you guys. It's big. I mean, maybe it's not exactly nine

inches, but it's like almost. Like, it's really... You don't have to try so

hard. We know you're lying.

I'm not. I'll show you. I'll show you right now. Look, you're very dumb inside

and out, and there's just no way you can get bigger than what you're doing right

now. You don't have to try so hard. I'm going to get hard.

You are so hard.

Give me a second.

One. Yeah, one.

You're not going to help.

Can I touch your boobs?

That's not going to make it hard.

Should we let it? Or the experiment?

All right. Only if you get hard. Yeah.

if you don't get hard i'm gonna be so mad at you and we're gonna tell everyone

that you're a goddamn liar i'm gonna show you guys can you can you could you

like touch it a little bit like my wiener okay let's see how hard you can

you think it's getting any bigger oh

not really It's getting a little bigger. Uh -uh, that is not 9 inches. Give me a

couple seconds.

You're putting it on the spot like crazy.

It's still not big.

It's not 9 inches. Could you like spit on it? What?

Ew. No, no, no, no, no, no.

Okay, fine.

It would just make it get harder faster.

Okay, you swear.

For the experiment.

is it getting bigger maybe a little bit um yeah it's getting there but uh no

it's nine inches you're still a liar you're still a liar alex just it's not

hard yet all the way just give me like a minute

do you think it's going to get harder now look at it it's bigger i don't know

i think you're still lying honestly don't tell anyone this but like he

even have a bad penis did you really just say that i don't think it's like

worst thing in the world are you just saying that because you are you horny

no but like i kind of want to suck it

Yeah, that would be great cuz I'm like that would get me like really hard Would

you hate me if I just put my mouth on it?

If it's not eye injuries, I will hate you I mean, do it for the team

do you want to try?

yeah try it try it it

is

really big don't you think?

honestly? yeah

How do you guys know how to do it?

I'm a nerd, you know.

It's not a nine, but it's pretty big.

Yeah, no way it's a nine. Look.

Okay, maybe it's like seven or something, but it's basically like close

Alex, why did you have to lie?

Because you're going to round up.

You're always lying, Alex. You've got to stop it.

It's like I tell people I'm six foot three and I'm like five foot nine.

It's not even like a lie.

Okay, but honestly, like, your penis isn't even bad, I hate to admit.

Yeah, you don't have to lie, you know?

Okay, okay, fine.

What do you want to do?

I just want to put him aside.

Wait, are you crazy?

Aren't you horny?

But you can't.

Well, I'm going to do it.

I want it inside.

I'm horny.

I'm going to do it.

Oh, my God.

Yeah.

Oh, my God. I can't believe this is happening.

You're putting his penis inside your vagina?

How does it feel?

Uh, kind of good.

Actually, it's crazy.

It's not that crazy, it's fine.

Uh...

there's a lot you don't know put it back in

Mm -hmm

What?

he's never had sex before i have had sex before okay i just need a second okay

it's just kind of crazy they're like a three film or whatever but i could have

bunch of times i just haven't i'm not gonna come yet i will okay okay

He knows how to please women.

You know, her brother actually fucks guys.

He's a little liar though.

He's so weird.

Yeah, I told you.

Shut up, loser.

You're so weird.

Okay, whatever.

He's really good.

He's really good.

Like, get on top of us.

Get on top of us, Lizzie.

Still my turn.

See? Will you admit that I was right? That I'm like, I have a huge penis and

really cool and I'm good at sex?

But you're still a loser.

You might know how to fuck good because you're still a loser.

Don't exaggerate, okay?