All language subtitles for Tyler.Perrys.House.Of.Payne.S14E06.1080p.WEB.H264-BAE_track3_[eng]

[upbeat music]

You're welcome, baby.

-[Curtis] Thank you.
-[CJ] Hey, Aunt Ella.

-What's up, Unc?
-Hey, CJ.

Hey, baby. Would you
care for some breakfast?

-Don't mind if I do.
-[Ella] I knew it.

Why you looking like that?

Like what?

Like you afraid
to tell us something.

Probably because
there's something

I'm afraid to tell you.

Aw heck, what is it, CJ?

-Well, have you seen these?
-What are they?

They're the flyers

that have been placed
all over the neighborhood.

OK, what about them?

Read it.

Uh...Curtis?

"Bad neighbors have gone wild
in our community.

"Food truck on the block
is out of ordinance

"and leaking black oil.

"Church services being run
out of living rooms.

"How trifling.

"And no one is
doing anything to stop them.

"And why? They are
personal friends of the woman

"we elected to protect us.

"Throw Glo out.
Glo is low, low, low.

"Elect Elizabeth Wellington

"for President
of the Homeowners Association.

She won't stand
for bad neighbors."

Curtis! Bad neighbors?

Hear this, baby?
They are talking about us.

-Well, we friends.
-That's what you get?

Bad neighbors, Curtis.

[birds chirping]

[airplane flying
overhead]

[siren wailing,
horn honking]

[sirens wailing]

[helicopter blades
whirring]

Ella, please.

You know it's your little Bible
study that popped all this off.

Curtis, don't do that.

It sounds like
it's your food truck.

Baby, that food truck
ain't hurting nobody.

And a few women
meeting in my living room

to read the Bible
is hardly a church service.

Yeah, but y'all be yelling
and having fits.

Curtis, that's called catching
the Holy Ghost, OK?

You should hope to be so lucky.

Now that would be the day.

Who is this Wellington lady?

That's the woman that moved in

a couple years ago
around the corner.

That lady?

Oh, man,
she don't talk to nobody.

[Curtis] No, she don't.

How'd she get enough clout
to run for HOA president?

-That part.
-What I can't get over

is her complaining
about the food truck.

-Didn't she stand out there?
-Yes, yes.

Their behind was there
every day.

That's what I thought.

[Gloria groans]

Excuse you?

Sorry, sorry.
OK, I let myself in.

-I'm just, I'm so mad right now.
-Well, I'm mad too.

Folks bustin' up in
my house like it's they house.

-You seen these flyers?
-[Ella] Uh, yes.

Yes, we did.
And it says we're friends.

The devil is a liar.
Ain't that what you said, babe?

Curtis, you may want
to be nice to me today.

And why would I want to do that?

Because she's coming
for all of us.

She got a point, though.

Y'all need to join forces
against this Wellington lady.

Yes, yes, yes, yes. United
we stand, divided we fall.

"Church services
being run out of..."

I cannot believe
she got my Bible study

on this little flyer!

Oh, she is a piece of work.
You hear me?

Look here, look. Ain't nobody
stunting that woman, OK?

She going to war with the
Paynes, she gonna lose.

So what we gonna do, Unc?

Well, first we need to get
some new flyers right away.

New flyers to say what?

That Ella and I
are not bad neighbors.

-Quite the contrary.
-Yes.

I mean, we have cemented our
reputation in this neighborhood.

We just gotta remind the people
who the Paynes are, that's all.

-I like that, Unc.
-Look, I agree with you, Curtis,

but there are
a lot of new neighbors.

Many of the older residents have
retired and moved, and I mean,

-some have passed on.
-Yeah.

OK, look, y'all need
to stop worrying, OK?

Stop worrying.
Watch what I tell you.

All this is gonna backfire
on Ms. Wellington.

[upbeat music]

Hey, little man.
How was your breakfast?

It was awesome.

Oh, looks like someone's
breakfast was a hit.

-No flattery. It was cereal.
-My favorite!

All right, go to your room.
Pack your bag.

OK.

-Hey, babe.
-Hey, handsome.

So, you in a good mood?

-Yeah. Shouldn't I be?
-Of course.

But I want you to try
to stay in a good mood.

And why wouldn't I
stay in a good mood?

No reason.

Why this line
of questioning, babe?

Miranda's here
to pick up Christian.

Oh.

So, you're taking
him down, right?

OK, I know that's
the normal routine,

but I was hoping that she
could come up and get him.

Miranda? Hell no.

-Laura.
-No, Calvin.

Look, Miranda
is Christian's mom.

At some point, you're gonna
have to bury the hatchet,

and plus, she wants
to come up and talk to you.

It's clear that you have no idea
how I feel about this woman.

Yeah, Laura, I get that,
but respectfully,

it's not about you,
it's about Christian.

See, that's where you're wrong.

Because it is about me.
I live here now, Calvin.

And now, I might not be able
to control the fact

that she can walk in and out
of your Momma's house,

but I can control
who comes over here.

And that chick
ain't coming up in here, Calvin.

"Uh-uh. That chick ain't
coming up in here, Calvin!"

-Christian, call me Dad.
-I was just playing.

-What y'all talking about?
-Grown folks business.

Man, you always say that.
I'll be happy when I'm grown.

-Are you ready?
-Yeah, I'm ready.

Come on, let's go.

Have a good day, Christian.

[music]

-Looks good, Mom.
-Thank you.

-Yeah.
-Hey, what's all this?

-I'm helping Mom meal prep.
-Mm-hmm.

You trying to get down
on this, big bro?

Nah, I'm good on that.

I like my meal prep with
some fried chicken in it.

Now, wait a minute.

You said you were going to join
us on this healthy eating thing.

Oh, come on. Everybody knows

healthy eating
is not good eating.

No, no, no. I think
you have it turned around.

You think that
fried foods are healthy.

Mm-hmm. And all that fried food
is going to catch up with you.

Mom and I are preparing healthy
meals for the entire week.

-For the whole week?
-Yeah.

Oh, no. Y'all know
I don't do leftovers like that.

Come on, Malik.
It makes life so much easier.

Don't you get tired of having to
leave the office every day

in search of food?

No, not really. I mean, I enjoy
those breaks from the office.

-Well, suit yourself then.
-Enjoy yourself, sir.

[doorbell rings]

Yoo-hoo, yoo-hoo, yoo-hoo.
Can you go get that?

-Yes, at your service.
-Thank you.

This was such a great idea,
Jazmine.

Hey.

I am so happy
that you guys are home.

Hey, girl. You look really cute.

Thank you.

-Uh-uh. What is it?
-You look all riled up.

-Guess.
-[Jazmine] Laura.

How did you know?
Ding, ding, ding, ding.

You know, I kind of like Laura.

I'm going to go ahead

and get ready for my meeting.
Sorry about that.

[Jazmine] Why don't you do that?

What did she do now?

All right, I'm trying
to breathe right now.

I see you. I see you.
Yeah. Take your time.

OK. So, I talked to Calvin.

I said, "Calvin,
I need to talk to Laura,"

because things
have gotten so bad

that when I go
to pick Christian up,

he has to bring him downstairs
to the car.

-Step into my office? Please.
-Please.

Wait a minute. She don't
want you in the apartment?

Huh. Apparently not.

Does she not recognize
that Christian is your son?

Yeah.
She's about to be his stepmom.

Um, I think that

that would matter to someone
with a sane mind.

Well, there you have it.

You said
someone with a sane mind.

She ain't got none.

OK. So, I decided to be
the bigger person, right?

-Yeah.
-So, I called Calvin.

I said, "Hey Calvin,

I need to come up and I need
to talk to Laura."

Right.

Janine,
I was going to apologize.

Record scratch.
You were going to what?

-Apologize!
-OK. OK.

I was going
to make things right.

We have got to talk about
parenting this kid.

-[Janine] Yeah.
-This is my son.

Listen.
She's going to marry Calvin.

-Yeah.
-And she's going to be spending

a tremendous amount of time
with my child.

-Right.
-We need to be on the same page.

OK. So, wait. When you got
there, what did she say?

[laughs]

-I got there and I waited.
-[Janine] OK.

-And I waited.
-OK.

-And I waited.
-Not OK.

It's probably because she didn't
want you to come up.

Exactly. So, Calvin finally

brings Christian
down to the car.

And what did Calvin say?

You know, it
is not what Calvin said.

-It's what Christian said.
-Christian?

Christian.
So, Christian has this bad habit

of liking to parrot
what he hears adults say.

Mm-hmm.

[Miranda] So, this time,
he chose to mimic Laura.

-Oh, no he didn't, Miranda.
-Oh, yes he did. OK, listen.

Christian, he doesn't know
what he's saying.

-Right.
-Right?

[Janine] Yeah.

But I knew he was
talking about Laura.

What'd he say, Miranda?

He said, "Don't have that
chick in my house, Calvin."

-Ooh! No he did not!
-Oh no,shedid not.

Absolutely.

And we know who that was.
We know that was Laura

-Nobody else would say that.
-Yep. Yep. Ooh!

Oh, he's got his hands full
with that one.

Yeah, he sure know how
to pick them.

Excuse you?
What do you mean by that?

Oh, he picked you too,
didn't he? No shade.

[Janine] Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Well, listen, he knew what he
was doing when he picked me.

That part.

I don't know what happened
after me, though.

I am so sorry. I mean,
this is all starting right now?

Like, this
has been just now happening?

-Just now. This is crazy.
-That's... Wow.

Man, let me know if you need
to beat somebody up, because--

Jazmine, Jazmine, Jazmine--
[doorbell rings]

Oh, no. Y'all keep trashing
Calvin's fiancée,

I'll get the door.

Oh, hello.

Hello. Is the man or woman
of the house here?

-Yeah, the man right here.
-That is incorrect.

Hello, I am Janine.
How can I help you?

Hi, Janine. I don't think
we've met. I'm your neighbor.

I have some
fresh baked cookies for you.

Oh, she got cookies? Well,
you all right with me, sister.

Come on in here.

That was very kind of you, Ms...

I'm Elizabeth Wellington.
I'm running for HOA president.

[casual music]

Ms. Wellington, that's...
that's... wow.

Why do I feel like I've heard
your name somewhere before?

That's neither here nor there.
Please, have a seat.

Oh, wonderful. I've been
trying to make my rounds

and connect with as many
of my neighbors as I could.

OK. Well, this is my son, Malik.

Hey, how you doing?
Thank you for the cookies.

And I'm her favorite child,
Jazmine.

I'm her favorite
ex-sister-in-law, Miranda.

It's wonderful
to meet all of you.

So, Ms. Wellington,

if you're running for HOA
president, what happened to Glo?

Yeah, I was wondering the same
thing. Is she stepping down?

She'll be stepping down,
after she loses to me.

-Oh?
-Oh?

-Oh.
-Oh.

Wait a minute. So you...
you're running against Glo?

I am.

She's been terrible
for this neighborhood.

You know what?

On that note, I have a meeting
that I need to get to.

I will catch up
with you good people later.

All right, then.
Hey, stay strong, sis.

Oh, I'm staying strong.
Great to meet you.

Call you later.

Ms. Wellington, right?
Um, I feel it important

to disclose to you
that Glo has become

a very, very good friend
of the family.

-Oh, she has?
-Oh, yes.

Hmm. I'm sorry.

Um, aren't you troubled
by her many infractions?

Infractions?

We are not aware
of any infractions.

Oh, you know, so many people

I've spoken
to this week are unaware.

-Let me bring you up to speed.
-Oh, please do.

Mm-hmm. Let me sit down.
I'd like to hear this, too.

-Let me get one of these--
-Don't touch them.

[ballgame on TV]

Hey, babe.

You, uh, you've been quiet.

Can I, uh,
make you something to eat?

No, thanks.

OK, so you're mad at me.

I don't want to
talk about it, Laura.

So you're just going to give
me the silent treatment?

Like, what does
that solve, Calvin?

I don't want to argue.

OK. I don't want to
argue, either. OK?

So let's not argue.
Let's just talk.

Our talks always
end in arguments.

That's because you never want to
see or understand

my side of things, Calvin.

[TV shuts off]

Laura, all you ever see
is your side of things.

What about Christian's side?

He's a child. He has
nothing to do with whatever beef

you have with Miranda.

Fair enough.

Look, I don't have
any animosity towards your son.

I love him so much, Calvin.
You know that.

I just,
I don't mess with his mother.

And how is that
supposed to work?

We're about to be married.
You're about to be a stepmom.

You're going to have
to communicate with Miranda.

See, that's where
I disagree with you, Calvin.

Youare his father.

Youhave to communicate
with her. I don't!

I'm not even asking you
to be her best friend.

I just don't want this drama
in my house.

We all need to be able
to be civil.

That's who we are.

Calvin, I will be civil.

Always.

As long as
her stank ass ain't up in here.

Now I'm done talking about this.

[upbeat music]

OK, so see, what you gotta do
is, you gotta make sure

that you mention all of Unc's
accomplishments as fire chief.

-That's right. That's good.
-Yes.

And then you gotta put in all
of Aunt Ella's work

down at
the church's help center.

-Mm.
-That's good. That's good.

And put down all the successful
kids we've raised.

Listen, including
the current fire chief.

And one of
them was a foster kid.

-Ooh, Deshawn!
-That's right, Deshawn.

-Deshawn!
-Put it down there.

And tell them about all
the families we supported

when their homes
were lost in fires.

-That's right.
-I didn't even know all this.

I'm almost
honored to know you, Curtis.

No, I still wish
I never met you, Glo.

Your mama.

See, that ain't even proper
usage of the mama joke.

She's trying too hard. I knew
you was a square coming up.

You two, can you please,
can we get back to the campaign?

Uh, your husband
starts it, Ella.

Well, just type.

Now, once you remind all
the neighbors of who we are,

and you introduce us to the
neighbors we don't already know,

Ms. Wellington is gonna look
like the bad neighbor.

[Curtis] That's right.
That's right.

Well, I hope so. I hope so.

I mean, I hear she's been
casing the neighborhood,

bribing folks with so-called
fresh-baked cookies

that she really bought
from Cost-Pro.

She is walking around
the neighborhood

-with Cost-Pro cookies?
-Yes.

[scoffs]

Now baby,
them are some good cookies.

-They're not homemade.
-But they good.

They're still good.

-Focus, huh?
-OK, so what are you gonna do?

Well, I suppose I will
go door-to-door, too.

-Hmm.
-[Curtis] There it is.

-What?
-[Curtis] Right.

You gonna bribe people
with cookies, too?

Well, I mean, I don't wanna
do the same thing she's doing.

-Good.
-I'll do you one better.

I'm all ears.

OK. So what we're gonna do,
we're gonna run an event here,

right out front of the
so-called bad neighbor's house.

-[Ella] Uh-huh.
-OK, OK.

Unc, what you're gonna do is,
we're gonna get that

great barbecue going,
get them samples going.

-OK.
-Ooh.

And that way, we're gonna
introduce us to all the people

-that we don't already know.
-I like it. I love it. Curtis?

Well, I mean,
give me some new customers.

Well, I love it. Ha, ha!

My presidential reelection
campaign is officially underway.

Yes!

I love it, too, and my work is
officially done here. Thank you.

-[Ella] Yes.
-[Glo] Thankyou.

OK, come on.
We gotta combat this.

"Glo is low, low, low."

You keep that.
Keep that on there.

No, no. Don't keep that.

That's truth.
Truth is what sells.

Can we get rid of these?
It is not truth, Curtis.

[Ella] Come on, come on.

[Glo] You know I
can't stand you sometimes.

[sighs]

-Hey, Daddy.
-Hey, baby.

[Malik] What's going on?

-Um, CJ, this is--
-Elizabeth Wellington.

-Your husband?
-Indeed.

Hi, have we met?
You look awfully familiar.

Yeah. I'm one of the neighbors
that you talked about

in your posters that you put
all over the neighborhood.

Wait, let me see.

Wait, the councilman was asking
me did I get a flyer.

Wait, these are your flyers,
Ms. Wellington?

Guilty as charged.

This is talking about
Auntie Ella's Bible study

and Uncle Curtis' food truck.

-These are your family members?
-Uh-huh.

Yeah, yeah, these are
our family that you're bashing.

Oh, I see.

So did she bring those
Cost-Pro cookies over here?

Cost-Pro? Wait a minute, you
said that these was fresh baked.

And I did not lie.

I didn't sayIbaked
the cookies.

Cost-Pro bakes them fresh daily.

-Girl.
-Politicians.

I'm afraid
I'm going to have to ask

you to leave, Mrs. Wellington.

You know what? Gladly.

I've been kicked out
of better places than this.

[Malik] Wait a minute.

If it is a war you want,
you got the right one.

-Bye, chick.
-Scram.

Did she just slam my door?

[Jazmine] She just
slammed the door, Momma.

[laid-back music]

Calvin?

So you're not coming to bed?

[casual music]

[music]

[music]