Original subtitles

[waves crashing faintly]

[birds squawking]

[Vivaldi's "Summer" from The Four Seasons playing]

[distant chatter]

What's with all these mosquitoes?

It's okay, amore.

You're supposed to eat a pound of insects every year.

I think that's an observation, not a recommendation.

Can you believe it? Look at her out there!

[music fades]

Honey! Look over here, let me get a shot!

Give me a pose!

Uh-oh! I'm calling Sports Illustrated!

Love it!

The water's so perfect!

[laughing] You…

You made so much fun of me for wearing my bikini under my clothes on the plane,

but I told you it was a good idea!

-It was a good idea. -[giggles]

Wait, you guys, you have to go in. The water is, like, perfect.

You're supposed to give sunscreen like a half hour to absorb.

Yeah, the sunscreen thing for me too.

Mmm, yeah.

I don't wanna.

You know what? What the hell?

Here we go! See you guys!

-Come on! -Bye!

[Nick and Ginny yelling excitedly]

-[Ginny] Go in, go in! -[Nick] Come on!

Oh! It's so nice!

-Whoo! Oh! -Oh! Oh!

Wow, they are straight up frolicking.

-[grunts] -[Ginny laughing]

-[Ginny] No! No! No! -Ow!

[Vivaldi's "Summer" resumes energetically]

[insects chirruping]

[music ends]

Yeah, so I saw this Instagram post about zero-waste hotels,

and apparently this is number four.

Oh. Wow.

Yeah, they even use the output from the bathrooms

to fertilize the mango groves.

What?

Yeah, did any of you read that Sunrise Movement article

about how commercial development

is just wreaking havoc on the earthworm population?

-I know it sounds funny, but it's not. -No.

Earthworms are the lungs of the Earth.

-[Nick] Wow! -Blondie!

-[Nick] You look great! -I know.

Can I say you look like Sisqó?

No!

Can I say you look like Sisqó?

Yes.

[laughs]

For the past three months,

the top of my head is the only adventure I'm allowed to have.

Oh my God, that's right. Nick told me you had heart surgery.

It was just a procedure, but yes. Claude has been looking after me 24/7.

[Ginny] Mm.

He probably needs this vacation more than I do.

Nah. I love taking care of you.

Oh my God, guys! A pedal pub!

-That looks so much fun! -[dance music blaring]

Oh my God, we gotta do that.

[excited chatter and laughter]

So when can you go back to work?

As soon as I get back. Literally.

Yesterday, I got offered a huge project from a hospitality group in Austin.

But we're not taking it.

I don't want to take it, but I would like to bask in it.

You know how I love basking.

Oh my God, these yurts are so much bigger than they looked online!

Sweet! And we got three together. How awesome is this?

Why do they all have air horns?

Oh, it's to scare away the crocodiles, but you don't need to worry.

They're really little here.

[Ginny chuckles]

Earthworms are the lungs of the Earth?

What?

First of all, everyone knows

that the oceans are the lungs of the Earth.

Yeah, I felt like I was going insane out there.

-Insane. -Oh, Jesus.

I mean, I get it. She's young and hot, right?

Don't see a ton of upside for me in answering that.

What is he doing?

He's changing his entire personality for his 30-year-old girlfriend.

He's being such a Zelig.

Oh, that's a really fresh reference.

You should say that in front of Ginny.

And when she asks what a Zelig is, you should explain,

oh, it's a Woody Allen movie that you like.

All right, whatever.

Why can't he have his midlife crisis at home?

Why does he have to bring it on my vacation?

I know! I can't relax around a new person.

What if I have to fart? What if I call her Anne?

-You won't call her Anne. -[fabric flapping]

[Danny] I'm knocking, but the sound isn't registering against the canvas.

[exhales]

I assume you're talking about how wild this situation is.

Yeah, Ginny is throwing off the whole mojo of the group.

No, I'm talking about this atrocious hotel.

Okay. I think it's insane that he had her plan our trip

after dating, what, five weeks?

Yeah, and by the way, do we all believe it's only been five weeks?

I have been cooped up in the house for months.

I deserve a luxury experience, not some… mildewed jute and shit mangoes.

You know the one person who wouldn't hate this hotel? Anne.

And Nick would have hated coming here with her.

How is Anne? We've been texting, but I…

Not good.

I hate that I needed to keep this trip a secret,

but she's just so miserable right now.

It's like she's rooting for everybody else to be miserable too.

Yeah.

[Ginny and Nick moaning]

[soft thumping]

[passionate moaning continuous]

Wait, do-- Do you guys, uh…

No. Mm-mm.

No, no, absolutely not.

[muffled chatter]

[Ginny laughing]

-[air horn blows] -Oh!

[Danny] Hello?

Hello?

[bell clangs]

Hello?

Hey! Do you know where the compost is for the mango pits?

No, I don't work here. Neither does anyone else.

Can I ask you a favor?

I do not like it here. I cannot like it here.

I need you to like it here.

This place is egregious.

It's the hotel equivalent of a white guy with dreads.

We should be staying at the hotel equivalent of Lenny Kravitz.

-No, no, no. -Yes.

Do not use my favorite musician against me, please.

Look, I know that this is not perfect,

but Ginny put so much work into arranging this trip.

Nick, do you think you're the first old man

to date a younger woman?

No, you're joining a long tradition of May-December relationships,

but you are doing it all wrong.

What are you talking about?

As a December, we're supposed to pull the Mays up to our way of life.

We do not get dragged down to theirs.

-But I like feeling young again. -[sighs] Okay.

When you go to the ancient Greek pottery section of the Met,

are there images of old men down on the ground

with younger women playing marbles?

No!

They're drinking wine and listening to a goddamn harp.

You should be introducing Ginny

to the pleasures of high thread count sheets,

not sleeping on a mattress that smells like a cold sidewalk!

I understand you feel strongly about this.

-I'm gonna kill you. -No. Could you just pretend, please?

Please.

Fine.

I will be as fun and flirty as this hair demands.

Thank you.

What about Jack and Kate? Are they being shitty?

You know those two.

Complaining is their version of having sex.

Yeah.

Oh, that sun!

-Oh, it's gonna be hot on that boat. -Jesus.

[inaudible]

What is that?

My hat.

Oh, I thought you couldn't find that when you were packing.

True.

And odd, because I always store it in the same place.

But then, life is good.

-Found this one for sale at the airport. -Hmm!

Fine. You can wear it if I can cut my hair short.

I have the exact picture of Anne Hathaway that I'm gonna take to my hairdresser.

-Hey, what are you doing? -You skipped your feet.

I don't need it on my--

Melanoma of the toes is how Bob Marley died, okay?

Don't you remember? We watched three movies about him last month.

All right, sailors. Are you ready for the best ride of your life?

[all] Yeah!

[Kate] Whoo!

[Vivaldi's "Summer" from The Four Seasons playing]

[grunts softly]

-[Ginny] It's so beautiful. -[Nick] Right?

-This was such a good idea. Thank you. -Thank you.

-You okay? Jesus! -[Claude groans]

Hey, guys, sorry, the captain just said it's gonna get pretty choppy.

-Okay! -What?

[music heightens]

-[Kate sighs] -Here you go.

-[Kate] Oh, thank you. -Yeah.

So, remind me, how did you all meet again?

Ah! That's a funny story. I'll tell it.

Okay, so, Kate and Jack and Danny all went to college together.

But before Kate and Jack fell in love, wait for it…

Drum roll…

Okay, that's a lot of drum roll.

Kate and Danny used to be a couple. Boom!

-[gasps] What? No! -Yeah.

We were not a couple.

Oh my God. How can you say we weren't a couple? We kissed three times.

And two of those times was in a play.

Yes, but the third time was genuine boredom.

[all laugh]

Anyway, then we met on March 12, 2014.

-He stopped me on the street. -[Ginny] Aw.

Back then, my hair used to be down to the butt.

I had to know more.

And you worked for Nick, right?

Yeah, for four long years.

It was great.

-You fired me. -Three years after I should have.

You were a great hang at happy hour, but you were terrible at market analysis.

Well, I just wanted all the little businesses to do well.

Wow. You guys have a lot of history.

So, how did you two meet?

-Ginny is my dental hygienist. -Oh, wow.

Every time she'd clean my teeth, she would tell me about all the fun,

exciting adventures she was going to go on.

-Now we're doing them together. -[coos]

Actually, we are going to Burning Man next month.

I already bought a steampunk hat.

[retching and coughing]

It's from the boat. It's not about you guys.

Ooh, do you have sunscreen?

'Cause your shoulders are getting red, Beth.

-[spits] -Oh, my God.

Not Beth. Ginny.

[laughs] Beth?

-Who's Beth, Nick? Should I be worried? -Nah.

-It's a common name. -[Claude] Kate!

Beth is your daughter, silly.

-Yes. -She's 17.

She has such a baby face. She looks very, very, very, very young.

[chuckles softly]

Sorry. I am so sorry.

Oh, my gosh. No. No worries. It's totally fine. Don't sweat it.

[Vivaldi's "Summer" continues]

Ginny.

[laughs] We love the hotel.

Sì.

-Great. Okay. -[Claude] Yeah.

-It's so good. -Thanks.

-Hey, where'd you get fresh towels? -I wouldn't say fresh.

-I might not even 100% say towels. -Ew! Why are they wet already?

This place is a death trap.

At least your husband is, uh, sunscreening you against your will.

Ha! Yeah.

You should've seen him after my surgery.

One time,

I woke up to him bicycling my legs so I wouldn't get a blood clot.

Oh my God.

-Yeah. -But you're out of the woods, right?

Depends on who you ask. If you ask my doctor, absolutely.

If you ask Claude, he will cry.

Because he's ridiculous.

He is.

But I love him.

-And he takes good care of me. -He does.

Yeah. Hey, you know what I just remembered?

About an hour ago, when you called Ginny "Beth."

All right. Goodbye.

-Hey. -Hmm?

-Are people having a good time? -Oh, yeah.

Remember? Danny said he loved the hotel.

Yeah.

Everyone looks kind of exhausted.

-I think that's just the way they look. -[laughs]

Yeah, but nobody responded either time I brought up the pedal pub.

-Really? -Mm-mm.

-No. -I think they did.

Okay, can you take a look at this itinerary and be honest?

Tell me if you think this is stuff that they'll like.

Okay.

"Sunrise yoga."

Fun.

"Open water paddleboarding." That sounds cool.

-[Ginny laughs] -"Sound bath with Shaman Jay."

I cannot wait to meet him.

That all sounds great. They're gonna love it.

Yeah?

Yeah, don't worry.

-Trip's going great. -Mm.

Thanks.

[lilting string music playing]

[birds chirping]

Hey. Hey. Hey.

[panting]

Ginny just saw my penis.

-What? -I was using the-- The outdoor shower.

And, um, okay, let me back up.

So, I-I-I mean, have you noticed how the ocean breeze is, like,

strangely strong around here, right?

Yeah, so the door blew open?

Yes. Okay, but before I continue, keep in mind,

there's just a lot of sand around here, right?

Just tell me what happened.

Well, I had some sand in my folds, down-- You know, right here.

So I was, like, being extra careful cleaning, right?

And if somebody wasn't aware of my intentions…

-Okay, act it out. Let me see. -Okay.

So, you know, the shower's up here, and I'm, like, you know, getting…

And it's like, God, it's really in there.

Cleaning, and I'm cleaning. It's like, gotta lift.

Get in there, I'm not thinking about any of this. Like--

"Oh, is the door open?" I was like…

[sighs] And…

Okay, that's very bad. Were you grimacing like that?

Well, the water temperature fluctuated! It was startling!

[laughs]

[Jack exhales]

Hey, hey, look, you also did an embarrassing thing.

Remember the "Beth"?

Nope. Nobody does now.

[sighs]

[calming piano music playing]

[insects chirruping]

[Danny inhales deeply and sighs]

[groans]

How can I be both sweaty and cold?

-[moans] -Aren't you uncomfortable?

I lived much worse than this in the Italian army.

Oh, man, how could I let Nick guilt me into staying here?

[sighs] I feel like I'm gonna return more exhausted than when I left.

Absolutely not. You're still recovering.

Okay.

Go sit on the beach.

When you come back, the room will be perfect.

-What? -Go.

-[shouting in Italian] -Okay! Okay! Okay!

Hey, hey, hey.

[Vivaldi's "Violin Concerto No. 5, La Tempesta di Mare" playing]

Oh, wow.

You made a little nest.

Better.

A cocoon.

Lie.

[crickets chirping]

[sniffling]

[poignant music playing]

[crying softly]

Hey.

Nick is crying.

What?

I just saw Nick drinking alone by the fire pit, and he is crying.

Crying?

Crying.

Oh, that's so weird.

Is it? Or is it the first thing that's made sense all day?

Like, maybe he finally realized that he's blown up his life.

I don't know. I mean, I don't think you can fake frolicking like that.

I mean, think about it.

We've been sucking in our guts for one day and we're losing our minds.

He's been doing it for weeks. Right? He's gotta be exhausted.

He knows this isn't gonna last,

and he's gonna have to impress a million Ginnys on a million first dates.

He's gonna have to ask himself, "Is this the right shirt for my profile?"

till the day he dies.

God, that's chilling.

Well, guess we won't be seeing Ginny again, right?

Our humiliation will die in her absence.

[sighs]

That said,

I think you should go out there because he did look very upset,

and he could probably use a friend.

[softly] Yeah.

[Nick and Ginny moaning passionately]

[Ginny] Oh my God…

Couple questions about your, uh, theory.

I'm telling you, he's not happy.

[Nick and Ginny laughing and moaning]

[both snicker]

Maybe it's goodbye sex?

-[Ginny yelling loudly] -[Nick] Oh, yeah!

-[whispering] I saw what I saw. -[Ginny] Oh my God, Nick!

[seagull squawking]

[air horn blows]

[sighs]

[softly] Oh…

Oh.

-Morning. -Morning.

[groans]

You need to take your Vasotec.

You're supposed to take it by 7:00 a.m. in the morning. Every morning.

Oh, okay, okay. I can take my own pill, Mama Bird.

Mm-hmm.

-Now, go. -Mm…

[gulping]

Okay.

[sighs] Okay.

-What? What's wrong? -Nothing.

-I'm just feeling… -What?

Nothing, I'm fine, fine, fine.

It's this place. You slept terribly.

We can't sleep here another night.

[inhales deeply]

[exhales]

Oh my God, look.

There's a four-star resort one mile away.

Uh…

No, I-I promised Nick that I wouldn't bail on this hotel.

Then we come back, but we go for the day.

-Sit by the pool, relax. -[exhales]

We must go.

[exhales]

-Morning. -Hey, morning!

-[Danny] Morning! -Hi.

-[Nick] Morning. -[Ginny sighs]

Thank you.

How was your night?

Not bad. Not bad at all, yeah.

-Good. Good, good. -Cool stuff.

Oh, my gosh, Nick, what is this?

It's a little thank you for planning such a wonderful trip for all of us.

Oh my God, it's beautiful.

-[Ginny laughs] -Aw.

-Thank you. -You're welcome.

Nick, what did you get me for planning our last seven trips?

[gasps]

A little off-brand box of raisins! Oh my God, I love it. Thank you.

Yeah, you know what? I think I have a gift receipt here somewhere.

Where is that? If you wanna return it. Oh, there it is. Boom.

[all laugh]

This is so great.

It's so fun. Your vibe, the hotel. All of it is just good.

So today, Claude and I, we're gonna take a little historical excursion,

if any of you are interested in joining.

-Where to? -[Claude] These ancient petroglyphs.

It's only a two-hour drive and a 45-minute hike.

But when you get there,

you can almost see drawings etched on the rocks.

-Pass. -[Jack] No, thanks.

[Nick] Mm, yeah, cool.

-We're gonna stick around here. -Yeah.

-[Danny] All right. -[Claude] Okay!

Now, if you decide to do the pedal pub while we're gone… it's fine.

-[Claude] So fine. -[Danny] Okay.

-[Nick] Have fun. -[Ginny] Bye!

[Danny] Come on.

Uh, does anyone need me to compost anything for them?

Yeah, you know what? I'll help.

-I'll be right back. -Yeah, sure.

Hey, uh, can I talk to you about something?

Of course. Anything you need.

Um…

Could you and Jack stop being so fucking weird?

What?

You're behaving like lunatics, and it's making the trip really awkward.

Obviously why Danny and Claude left.

Oh, I'm being weird?

I'm the one who's ordering a steampunk hat

and talking about the lungs of the Earth? That's me?

And you guys with your eye-rolling and your whispering.

-And you called Ginny "Beth"? -You're lucky I didn't call her "Anne."

Okay, here we go. Say what you want to say.

Okay.

This is not weird.

This?

This is weird!

It's weird that Anne's not here,

and it's weird that your girlfriend wasn't born when Reagan got shot.

What the fuck is that metric?

It's weird that you are making us all act like this is normal.

Know what? I don't think you should come on the paddleboarding excursion today.

I'm gonna tell Ginny that you are too tired.

Oh no, I feel great. You're too tired.

And I am gonna go, and I'm gonna stare you in the eyes

while we float around in the weird that you created.

Let's paddleboard, baby!

[Vivaldi's "Violin Concerto No. 5, La Tempesta di Mare" playing]

[laughs] Isn't this pretty?

[Nick] Oh, yeah. I love it!

[Kate] I love it more.

…Dermatologist said nothing to worry about. It's just a big mole.

-How do you like paddleboarding? -Oh, loving it.

'Cause I noticed you ate shit back there.

No, I wanted to.

-The water felt great. -[Nick] Yeah?

Babe, I think that is the secret beach we saw on TikTok.

-Oh, really? -Yeah.

Wow!

Awesome!

That is sick!

-I just see rocks. -[Ginny] No, no, no.

If you climb up the rocks,

there's, like, this little secret lagoon right behind it.

Maybe you can just send me the TikTok,

because those rocks look pretty jagged and wet.

Actually, I don't have TikTok, but if you could just share it to my Facebook--

Yeah, but don't let us stop you. I know this is what Nick lives for.

New adventures.

Definitely not, like, drinking Bordeaux

at a restaurant that serves creamed spinach

and also has a picture of the Rat Pack on the wall.

Obviously, Kate is teasing me

because this isn't the sort of thing I did before.

But now, I am having a blast, making up for lost time.

So, yes, I would love to see the secret beach.

-[Ginny] You want to go? -[Nick] Absolutely.

-Okay. Let's go! -Let's go!

Let's go see the secret beach. I am so down!

[Kate] All right, we'll be here.

[Jack] Have fun!

[Vivaldi's "La Tempesta di Mare" continues]

[Nick] Going in.

[Ginny yelps]

Watch this, assholes!

-[Jack] Watching! -[Kate] You can stop calling us that.

Whoo! You got it, babe!

Almost there!

Whoo!

Get it, babe!

[laughs]

Yeah!

[cackling triumphantly]

-Yes! -Yes!

-[Nick] Yeah! -[laughing]

Check me out, bitches!

Yes!

[laughing]

Oh, no!

Oh, God! Something's wrong!

-Oh, God! -Oh, my God.

Ah! My foot!

-Shit! Babe, I'm coming! -[Nick] My foot!

Something happened to my foot! Oh my God!

Call an ambulance.

Pull out the spikes. The pain is going up the leg.

Ah! Oh, goddamn it! What is that thing?

Take that down!

[bossa nova music playing]

[indistinct chatter]

Hey, watch this, watch this.

Hey, would you mind getting that? I can't get to my room key.

Hands are full.

[laughs] Ooh!

-[man] You got it. -Thank you.

Hey! We're back!

-[laughs] Whoo! -[towel girl] Hi!

Nice to see you again.

Great to see you too.

Another perfect day in paradise!

[laughing]

[towel girl] Enjoy.

[Danny] Ahem. Here we go.

Oh, shit.

[man] Hi.

-Hi. -It's us again!

-We're back! -Welcome.

Can I get your room number?

-5000. -714.

You guys are from the yurt place, right?

That happens a lot.

Look, I don't give a shit. I'm starting at Villanova next week.

If you give me 100 bucks, I'll get you a cabana.

-Deal. -What are you gonna study?

[groaning]

[straining]

[groans loudly]

Is that the last one?

Okay, great. The pharmacy had the cream.

-Ginny is on her way back. -[Nick] Okay.

Well, until she returns,

the Scotch will continue to be my medicine.

[moans]

-Thank you. -I feel like this is my fault.

No, I did this to myself.

Although next time you're mad at me,

you don't have to goad me into climbing rocks.

Just tell me to go fuck myself.

-No, I don't want you to go fuck yourself. -[Nick] Mm, yeah, you do.

You all do.

I left Anne. Now you think I'm a piece of shit.

Hey, we don't think that, all right? We wouldn't have come if we thought that.

Yeah. I'm sorry. I know this divorce is hard on you too.

It has been hard.

It's been rough.

Yeah.

It's okay. We're here. We're your friends.

Yeah, and Nicky, you don't have to pretend in front of us.

What do you mean, pretend?

I mean, we've known you for 30 years, and I get it.

Ginny is hot and new.

But anyone our age would be exhausted by all this.

I'm not exhausted.

I-I'm happier than I've ever been in my life.

You know when I was exhausted?

When I was living my old, shitty life.

I was just like you, Jack,

jerking off in the hotel shower on vacation.

I wasn't doing that. I had, uh, sand in my folds--

[Nick] I don't care if you guys don't believe me.

I'm happier than I've ever been.

But… I saw you cry by the fire.

You know why I was crying, Kate?

Because I couldn't believe what a lucky son of a bitch I am.

I was looking up into the heavens,

thanking God for allowing me to meet Ginny,

for giving me a second chance.

I was dead.

And now I live.

When was the last time you guys felt like that?

I will have the lobster roll and fries.

Then I'll get the antioxidant salad. That way we can share both.

Thank you.

Oh, that's cute.

[giggles]

[coos]

How does your body feel?

I need to run to the bathroom.

Okay.

[intriguing music playing]

[sighs]

[music turns dramatic]

[inaudible]

Anne?

[Vivaldi's "Summer" from The Four Seasons playing]

[music ends]