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1
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All right, buddy, you can do it.
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Now when I say go I want you to put everything you've got into it, okay?
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All right.
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And go!
5
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Oh, did he say go? I guess I should start pushing now.
6
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Wow, is that your hardest? That's not very hard.
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- ( shrieks ) - crowd: Ooh!
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In your face. 83 pounds of pure power.
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Dude, you just got beat by a girl ho can fit in a keyhole.
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Hello, class.
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Woody, what are you doing on the floor?
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Uh, looking for his pride.
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Uh, can't find it.
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Ooh, but I found a piece of gum.
15
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Okey-dokey then.
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So in social studies this week
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We're gonna do something a little different.
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You sit in one of these chairs
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While we bore you to death?
20
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Wow, 9:02 and I'm already sad.
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Now this assignment is going to be worth half your grade.
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But everyone will have a partner.
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All: I pick cody!
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And the two of you will become a married couple.
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Ew!
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What, no one wants to marry me?
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You get used to it.
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ï¿?oh ay oh,oh ay oh ï¿?/i>
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ï¿?come along with me ï¿?/i>
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ï¿?and let'shead out to see ï¿?/i>
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ï¿?what this world has ï¿?/i>
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ï¿?for you and for me now ï¿?/i>
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ï¿?whichever waythe wind blows ï¿?/i>
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- ï¿?we say... ï¿?/i> - ï¿?hey-ho, let's go! ï¿?/i>
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- ï¿?oh ay oh ï¿?/i> - ï¿?this boat's rocking ï¿?/i>
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- ï¿?oh ay oh ï¿?/i> - ï¿?ain't no stopping us now ï¿?/i>
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ï¿?'cause we're livingthe suite life ï¿?/i>
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- ï¿?oh ay oh ï¿?/i> - ï¿?this boat's rocking ï¿?/i>
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- ï¿?oh ay oh ï¿?/i> - ï¿?rocking the wholeworld round ï¿?/i>
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ï¿?and we're livingthe suite life now ï¿?/i>
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ï¿?hey ho! Oh ay ohlet's go! ï¿?/i>
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Both: Would you marry me? Of course I will.
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You've made me the happiest person in the world.
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Addison, would you be my wife?
45
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Oh, it's gorgeous. And it's delicious.
46
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I have to call my family. My sister will be so jealous.
47
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She's been looking for mr. Right since kindergarten.
48
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Of course she's only in third grade now.
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Was that a yes?
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I don't know. I just heard a buzz.
51
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You know, london,
52
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I'm not really into this whole marriage thing.
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But what do you say you be my sugar mama
54
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And I'll tell you you're the smartest girl I ever met?
55
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( gasps ) you'd lie for me?
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All right, class, now over the next two weeks
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You will learn what it's like to be married.
58
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- What do you know about marriage? - Well...
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- Have you ever been married? - No, but...
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- Has anyone ever proposed to you? - I will have you know...
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- When was the last time you were even on a date? - Stop it, stop it!
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I mean, moving on.
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Now it's a fact that nearly half
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Of u.S. Marriages end in divorce.
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The other half limp along in uncomfortable silence.
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But this is because
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People often don't realize
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How hard it is to share a life with another person.
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Pfft! My daddy's great at marriage.
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He's done it eight times.
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Okay.
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Now everyone pick a card
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Out of this bowl to determine your career.
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Astronomer. Duh.
75
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Ooh, hand model.
76
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Ugh, with those badger claws?
77
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Teacher.
78
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Ugh, who can live on that tiny salary?
79
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9:07 and I'm even sadder.
80
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Yes, my dream job!
81
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Hot-dog vendor.
82
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All right, my turn.
83
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Ooh, sanitation engineer. Cool, I'm an engineer.
84
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That means garbage man.
85
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Cool, I drive a truck that crushes stuff.
86
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Who's brian surgeeon?
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- It says brain surgeon. - Oh.
88
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And even though this is pretend, that makes me nervous.
89
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Okay.
90
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Um, why don't you be a housewife?
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- Can I be a mansion wife? - Sure.
92
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Our marriage is going great, isn't it, bailey bunny?
93
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It sure is, cody kitten.
94
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You two should be spayed and neutered.
95
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Zack, I need you to sign this pre-nup.
96
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I don't sign anything without cody reading it first.
97
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He doesn't need to read it.
98
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It's just a contract that says if we get divorced
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I get to keep all my money
100
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And you get to keep whatever you can fit into this hobo sack.
101
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What? I'm not interested in your fake money.
102
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Did I mention there's a signing bonus
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With real money?
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Initials, signature,
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D.N.A. Sample.
106
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So what should we do today, money-- I mean, honey?
107
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We're going shopping to get you new clothes. What sizes do you need?
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28" pants, 36" jacket
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And a 65" tv.
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Done.
111
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Addison, I love being fake married to you.
112
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Thanks, sweetie.
113
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But it's our honeymoon. Do you really have to work?
114
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I'm not working. This is my lunch.
115
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Want a bite?
116
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Hi, miss tutweiller. Sorry I was out sick the other day.
117
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I heard you were in the infirmary.
118
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Yeah, I put on a pair of zack's socks by mistake
119
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And had a little fungus situation.
120
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So what's been going on?
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Everybody got married.
122
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Wow, you miss one day.
123
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Don't worry, marcus, I will find something for you.
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Wow, zack. You look great.
125
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Sorry to break your hearts, ladies, but I'm off the market.
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Yeah, get your own trophy husband.
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I'm a trophy husband.
128
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So, class, how are all your marriages going?
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Woody is the perfect husband.
130
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He buys me lots of candy jewelry. See, I have a ring for every finger--
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Strawberry, orange, watermelon, cherry.
132
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My tongue looks like a rainbow, doesn't it? Doesn't it?
133
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No more candy bling for addison.
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I am happy to hear
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That you are all enjoying the honeymoon phase.
136
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Unfortunately, that phase doesn't last forever.
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Sometimes it does.
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And sometimes you realize
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The person you're in a relationship with
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Isn't who you thought they were.
141
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Like sometime you think that someone's a great guy
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And then you find out that his business trips
143
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Are to visit his girlfriend in pacoima,
144
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And another one in dubuque and another one in pittsburgh.
145
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I mean, I should have known.
146
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What kind of crossing guard takes business trips?
147
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Anyway, the point is relationships have their ups and downs.
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Presenting the wheel of...
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Please say cheese. Please say cheese.
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...Life.
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Dang it.
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Now each couple will spin and adapt their marriage
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To whatever fate has in store.
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Who wants to go first?
155
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- Oh, we do, we do! - Okay.
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You go, honey. Big money, big money.
157
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- Oh! - "career change."
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Oh, looks like zack is getting a new job.
159
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Thank goodness. I won't be married to a garbage man anymore.
160
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So you quit your job to pursue your lifelong dream
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Of joining the circus.
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Lucky.
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Woody, addison, you're up.
164
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Oh oh oh oh, can I spin?
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I love to spin. Sometimes I spin round and round till I get dizzy and throw up.
166
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- Watch. - No no no.
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"family."
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Congratulations.
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You have a child.
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Marcus, meet your parents.
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Oh!
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We have a baby?
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How did this happen?
174
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Sorry, that's a different class.
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Oh, mommy loves you so much!
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All right, cody, bailey, you're up.
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I hope we get job transfer.
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Maybe to tokyo. It would be a great chance to practice our japanese.
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Nihon ha subarashiikuni desu.
180
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- So desu ne. - ( giggles )
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Hello, wheel.
182
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Ooh, "injury."
183
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Oh dear, cody.
184
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You broke both your legs on the job
185
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And you're bedridden.
186
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Okay, honey, I've finished all your laundry.
187
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- Light starch? - Of course.
188
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You did not just put my sweater on a hanger.
189
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Sorry, sweetie. I'm doing my best.
190
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Uh, honey, can I have another sip of juice?
191
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More juice? You've had a lot.
192
00:10:47,342 --> 00:10:49,977
And I don't really like where that's headed.
193
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Okay, I guess I'll get it myself.
194
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( groaning )
195
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Mouth so dry.
196
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I can't reach.
197
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You know, it's funny how thirsty you seem to get
198
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When you haven't even walked or done anything.
199
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I'm doing something. I'm telling you how to do the laundry.
200
00:11:21,017 --> 00:11:23,886
Yeah, I really enjoyed the sock folding video.
201
00:11:23,920 --> 00:11:26,188
Um, I'm feeling a little chill.
202
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Can you grab me a blanket?
203
00:11:28,756 --> 00:11:30,524
Sure, sweetie.
204
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How's that? Nice and toasty.
205
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Can you tuck me?
206
00:11:40,034 --> 00:11:44,052
Anything else? Maybe a foot rub
207
00:11:44,170 --> 00:11:45,607
Or fresh shrimp cocktail?
208
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Oh, that sounds nice.
209
00:11:47,892 --> 00:11:50,627
( mocking ) "oh, that sounds nice."
210
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Ah ah! Too tight tucking.
211
00:11:54,375 --> 00:11:56,476
Oh, let me fix that for you.
212
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Ah!
213
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You really should vacuum down here.
214
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And my little marcus is already reading.
215
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Wow!
216
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He's 16.
217
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Still, that's impressive.
218
00:12:20,350 --> 00:12:22,718
Well, I can also tie my own shoe.
219
00:12:23,914 --> 00:12:25,715
Why do you think miss tutweiller called us up here?
220
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I don't know.
221
00:12:26,817 --> 00:12:30,791
Welcome to "couples' challenge."
222
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Contestants, take your seats.
223
00:12:40,301 --> 00:12:41,334
Ahem.
224
00:12:47,208 --> 00:12:48,875
Ow!
225
00:12:54,928 --> 00:12:56,595
Okay, let's get started.
226
00:12:56,629 --> 00:12:58,764
Oh, wait wait. My husband isn't here.
227
00:13:04,932 --> 00:13:08,000
Howdely doodely, kids. Zacko the clown is here.
228
00:13:10,581 --> 00:13:12,114
Sorry I'm late.
229
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I was coloring my hair. ( laughs )
230
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Okay, good marriages
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Are based on partners knowing and understanding each other.
232
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So when I ask a question
233
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You each will writedown your answer
234
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And we'll see how well your answers match with your spouse.
235
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Spouse means the person you're married to,
236
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Not a cross between a spider and a mouse.
237
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The first question is for
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Cody and bailey.
239
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Cody and bailey, who wears the pants in the family?
240
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Bailey?
241
00:14:10,596 --> 00:14:12,297
Well...
242
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Not cody.
243
00:14:16,444 --> 00:14:19,579
Because despite the fact that I wash, iron and starch
244
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Cody's pants, he only wears pajamas.
245
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Okay. Cody?
246
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Uh, I left it blank.
247
00:14:27,984 --> 00:14:29,718
You see, the question is unclear.
248
00:14:29,752 --> 00:14:33,272
Technically pants is an abbreviation for pantaloons,
249
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Which no one wears these days.
250
00:14:39,136 --> 00:14:42,271
I think the appropriate term would have been slacks,
251
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Trousers, or even britches.
252
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Britches.
253
00:14:49,913 --> 00:14:52,862
Okay, no points for cody and bailey.
254
00:14:54,907 --> 00:14:58,710
The next question is for woody and--
255
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Okay.
256
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The next question is for woody and addison.
257
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Woody and addison,
258
00:15:17,105 --> 00:15:20,838
How many kids would you like to have?
259
00:15:26,257 --> 00:15:27,197
Addison?
260
00:15:28,593 --> 00:15:30,927
Well, considering how fantastic marcus is,
261
00:15:30,961 --> 00:15:33,063
I'd like to have a lot of kids, like five, six, seven, eight.
262
00:15:33,097 --> 00:15:35,703
( gasps ) they could join a boy band.
263
00:15:35,799 --> 00:15:37,366
Unless I had girls, in which case it'd be a girl band
264
00:15:37,468 --> 00:15:39,811
Or a combo group like the partridge family.
265
00:15:42,453 --> 00:15:45,436
So a big family. That's sweet. Woody?
266
00:15:51,645 --> 00:15:54,146
- Zero? - I love you too, dad.
267
00:15:55,582 --> 00:15:57,650
Okay, next question
268
00:15:57,684 --> 00:16:00,063
Is for zack and london.
269
00:16:04,357 --> 00:16:06,998
Zack and london,
270
00:16:07,617 --> 00:16:09,151
What is the last book
271
00:16:09,186 --> 00:16:11,471
Your spouse read?
272
00:16:18,098 --> 00:16:20,666
- Let's skip that one. - Okay.
273
00:16:20,700 --> 00:16:24,236
Okay, what is the single most
274
00:16:24,271 --> 00:16:29,051
Important thing in a successful relationship?
275
00:16:33,426 --> 00:16:34,826
London, what did you write?
276
00:16:36,462 --> 00:16:39,435
I drew a picture of me!
277
00:16:39,698 --> 00:16:41,966
Aren't I pretty?
278
00:16:42,000 --> 00:16:43,201
Moving on.
279
00:16:43,235 --> 00:16:45,002
Zack, let's see your card.
280
00:16:47,706 --> 00:16:49,607
Whoa!
281
00:16:54,146 --> 00:16:58,727
And it's all tied up at zero.
282
00:17:01,000 --> 00:17:03,755
Back to couple number one.
283
00:17:08,027 --> 00:17:09,260
This is an emergency.
284
00:17:09,295 --> 00:17:11,516
I've taken you to the bathroom enough times already.
285
00:17:11,710 --> 00:17:13,511
Just hold it in.
286
00:17:13,545 --> 00:17:15,046
Cody and bailey,
287
00:17:15,080 --> 00:17:17,910
If a relationship is like a cake,
288
00:17:18,250 --> 00:17:20,451
You need a cup of sweetness,
289
00:17:20,453 --> 00:17:22,287
A tablespoon of respect
290
00:17:22,321 --> 00:17:26,170
- And a sprinkle-- - please don't say sprinkle.
291
00:17:31,233 --> 00:17:34,001
If you have to go to the bathroom so badly,
292
00:17:34,036 --> 00:17:35,670
Just get up and go.
293
00:17:35,704 --> 00:17:38,706
I'm sick of doing everything while you sit there whining and criticizing.
294
00:17:38,740 --> 00:17:41,108
I wouldn't have to criticize you if you did things right.
295
00:17:41,143 --> 00:17:43,144
You mixed up my soup and my bedpan.
296
00:17:43,178 --> 00:17:44,912
Not that the soup you made was any better.
297
00:17:52,149 --> 00:17:54,650
- That's it. - Ow!
298
00:17:54,684 --> 00:17:56,619
You go, sister. Kick him to the curb.
299
00:17:56,653 --> 00:17:59,789
- Who needs husbands? - Ow, that hurt.
300
00:17:59,823 --> 00:18:02,825
Ow, that hurt more.
301
00:18:05,610 --> 00:18:06,604
Oh no you didn't.
302
00:18:07,191 --> 00:18:09,726
- Marcus, help! - I'm coming, mama!
303
00:18:10,962 --> 00:18:13,163
Oh dear, stop.
304
00:18:13,197 --> 00:18:15,065
Stop it!
305
00:18:15,099 --> 00:18:16,266
Anyone who throws another pillow
306
00:18:16,300 --> 00:18:19,559
Will get an f for the rest of the semester.
307
00:18:20,752 --> 00:18:22,753
Eh, I've got nothing to lose. Bailey!
308
00:18:27,059 --> 00:18:29,026
That's it. If this is how you're going to treat me
309
00:18:29,061 --> 00:18:31,924
When we're really married, then I don't think we have a future.
310
00:18:32,445 --> 00:18:33,479
I agree.
311
00:18:33,513 --> 00:18:35,548
Thank you, miss tutweiller, for saving me
312
00:18:35,582 --> 00:18:38,724
From wasting my life with the black hole of need.
313
00:18:38,979 --> 00:18:41,781
- Ow! - You're welcome.
314
00:18:53,518 --> 00:18:56,219
Bailey, are you okay?
315
00:18:56,505 --> 00:18:58,573
I'm fine.
316
00:18:58,608 --> 00:19:01,076
I guess cody and I weren't meant to be.
317
00:19:01,110 --> 00:19:03,712
It's better that I find out now.
318
00:19:03,746 --> 00:19:05,213
Oh.
319
00:19:08,595 --> 00:19:09,795
How did you know that was there?
320
00:19:09,830 --> 00:19:11,731
Oh, this is where I come to cry too.
321
00:19:12,799 --> 00:19:15,234
You know, because I have allergies.
322
00:19:17,704 --> 00:19:19,738
I just thought cody was the one.
323
00:19:19,740 --> 00:19:22,163
But I feel like I was giving more than he was.
324
00:19:22,638 --> 00:19:24,505
Look, bailey,
325
00:19:24,540 --> 00:19:26,374
The whole point of this assignment
326
00:19:26,408 --> 00:19:29,677
Was to show you guys that relationships are about compromise,
327
00:19:29,711 --> 00:19:32,124
Give and take, for better or for worse,
328
00:19:32,366 --> 00:19:34,534
In sickness and in health.
329
00:19:34,568 --> 00:19:37,468
I should have been a little more sympathetic to cody.
330
00:19:37,864 --> 00:19:39,665
Oh, well...
331
00:19:39,699 --> 00:19:42,401
Look, bailey, I have rarely seen
332
00:19:42,435 --> 00:19:44,970
A couple as perfectly matched as you and cody.
333
00:19:45,005 --> 00:19:46,772
I mean, don't let this little
334
00:19:46,807 --> 00:19:49,359
Disagreement break you up.
335
00:19:49,835 --> 00:19:53,438
I mean, you're young now. But before you know it,
336
00:19:53,439 --> 00:19:55,273
You're gonna be a lonely old maid
337
00:19:55,308 --> 00:19:57,609
Whose mother is calling her every 15 minutes
338
00:19:57,643 --> 00:20:00,378
Trying to set her up with the loser sons of her bingo buddies.
339
00:20:05,060 --> 00:20:07,928
I think your allergies are acting up again.
340
00:20:07,929 --> 00:20:09,830
Mm-hmm.
341
00:20:17,204 --> 00:20:20,072
- I'm sorry, bailey. - No, I'm sorry.
342
00:20:20,073 --> 00:20:22,008
Oh oh!
343
00:20:24,837 --> 00:20:27,972
You were right. I was whiny.
344
00:20:28,006 --> 00:20:30,341
But I should have been more sympathetic.
345
00:20:30,342 --> 00:20:33,478
I promise you, if I ever really break my legs,
346
00:20:33,512 --> 00:20:36,481
I would crawl to the ends of the earth to make you happy.
347
00:20:36,515 --> 00:20:38,449
He would crawl.
348
00:20:40,919 --> 00:20:43,721
Cody, I'll never find anyone as good as you.
349
00:20:43,755 --> 00:20:46,424
I'll never find anyone as good as you either.
350
00:20:46,458 --> 00:20:48,759
And I'll never find anyone!
351
00:20:53,758 --> 00:20:55,659
These are beautiful, cody.
352
00:21:03,060 --> 00:21:05,395
- Zacko! - Whoa!
353
00:21:12,803 --> 00:21:14,304
So the couples' challenge
354
00:21:14,338 --> 00:21:16,840
Didn't go exactly as I expected,
355
00:21:17,152 --> 00:21:19,119
But I hope you all learned something.
356
00:21:19,121 --> 00:21:21,389
I think we learned that marriage isn't easy.
357
00:21:21,423 --> 00:21:24,588
Yes, though it can be great, you shouldn't enter into it lightly.
358
00:21:24,841 --> 00:21:27,644
I learned that I may actually have a career as a clown.
359
00:21:32,081 --> 00:21:34,216
Yeah, about that.
360
00:21:34,250 --> 00:21:36,485
Daddy isn't happy I'm married to circus folk.
361
00:21:36,519 --> 00:21:39,287
That makes zacko sad.
362
00:21:42,792 --> 00:21:44,192
Whoa-oh!
363
00:21:47,029 --> 00:21:48,969
These are daddy's lawyers.
364
00:21:49,219 --> 00:21:51,453
And I am not leaving this room until zack and I are divorced.
365
00:21:51,488 --> 00:21:53,755
Miss tutweiller, will you please tell london
366
00:21:53,790 --> 00:21:56,819
That we weren't really married so we don't really need a divorce?
367
00:21:57,160 --> 00:21:59,194
Oh well, then that was easy.
368
00:21:59,228 --> 00:22:00,863
I guess you guys can forget about paying zack
369
00:22:00,897 --> 00:22:02,564
That whole million-dollar alimony settlement.
370
00:22:03,662 --> 00:22:05,006
Wait, what? That wasn't me.
371
00:22:05,597 --> 00:22:07,598
That was the clown talking.
372
00:22:10,802 --> 00:22:12,970
By the way, one of those lawyers is single.
373
00:22:13,005 --> 00:22:15,406
Oh, london, don't be ridiculous.
374
00:22:15,440 --> 00:22:17,952
The cute one?
375
00:22:18,241 --> 00:22:20,509
- Does it matter? - Not really.
376
00:22:20,543 --> 00:22:21,529
Class dismissed!
377
00:22:21,529 --> 00:22:22,529
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