All language subtitles for The Phil Silvers Show s01e26 Furlough In New York

Now remember, Billy, while I'm going...
I want you to get those daily work

reports on the colonel's desk every
morning at 0900.

Jack, you sure don't give warning.

Out of the blue, you're off on a 15 -day
furlough. Shh, quiet. I told you not to

breathe a word about my leaving until
I'm safely on that train to New York.

Don't worry.

Sergeant Belk, I won't find out. What's
the matter? You afraid he'll get a

furlough, too, and follow you to New
York? Now, don't get me wrong, girls.

I'm crazy about Ernie. You know that.

But let's face it, I see him every day
in the year.

Dates, dances, picnics, Ernie.

I want to spend some time with them.

Ma 'am.

You girls don't seem to understand.

These are merely friends.

I owe it to them to call them.

Sure. I'll check you outside.

You're going to stay with those two
schoolgirl chums of yours?

Millie and Fern?

Not unless I'm desperate.

Well, there it is.

Now take these furlough papers to the
colonel and then I'm off.

I'll see if I can wrangle a jeep to take
you to the station. Good.

I'm safely seated at that ringside table
at the Latin Quarter.

Here, Fender.

Have Lieutenant Anderson okay that trip
ticket.

Fender, where's Skidowski with the jeep?
He'll be here. He'll be here.

I don't get it, Sarge. All this secrecy
and hush -hush about going on a filo.

I've heard guys make more noise getting
ready to desert.

Do you believe this?

Look at these two. Don't you understand?

If Joan finds I'm going to New York,
she'll want to tag along.

Yeah, but Sarge, you and Joan are...
That's it. Me and Joan.

Me and... Look. Me and Joan. Swimming.

Me and Joan playing tennis. Me and Joan
at the platoon picnic.

Me and Joan.

We're getting to look like Eddie and
Debbie.

I thought you were crazy about her. I am
crazy about her. But look, fellas, even

the oldest horses like to nuzzle in new
pastures.

And when I say something with this
littlest gentleman, when I get to New

there's going to be some very fine
nuzzling.

Wow. Look at that list of phone numbers.
Linda, Amy, Yvonne, Lola. I don't... I

like this, Sarge. Two -timing a nice
girl like Joan.

You don't like it. So Waller -Rawley.
Who's two -timing? I'm sharing the

You know, these poor girls haven't seen
me in five years.

Five years without Bilko. Can you
imagine what that's like? We haven't had

pleasure.

Ah, the groanings of a man who married
too young.

Madeline, Greta, Linda, Amalia, Carol,
Jaja. Stop, stop, stop.

You're frightening me.

Five years without Bilko. Can you
imagine what they're like now? They're

but snarling, clawing savages.

Thank heavens I have Blue Cross.

Hey, Sarge, all those girls?

Oh, that's just a few. There were
hundreds.

Look, see that? How do you think I got
that way? From worry?

No, that's from giving away locks.

I gave away so many, it did something to
the roots.

He's not kidding.

Cynthia, Selma, Phyllis. Oh, oh,
Phyllis. Stretch that out.

What's the matter with Phyllis? That's
the one I left standing in front of the

Radio City Music Hall five years ago.

Remind me to stay away from Rockefeller
Center. She may be still waiting with a

gun.

There's Kodowski with the chief. On the
double. Oh, here.

You, keep the football raffles going
until I get back. Right, Sarge. And you,

any of the boys want some privacy, rent
my room, the usual rates. Right, Sarge.

Ah, is there anything else? I just got
to get the colonel to okay this, and

it's 15 days around.

I'll get it right away.

Yes, I'll call your sister when I get to
New York.

New York?

Oh, Ernie, I'm terribly sorry. It's just
the furlough came out of the blue. New

York?

Don't take it so hard, Ernie. You had a
furlough and you said nothing?

Sergeant Bilko, about your furlough.
Furlough?

Yes, an emergency. It just came up. I
have to take it. You didn't fill in your

destination. My destination.

Where are you going?

Wyoming. Wyoming. Yes, Cheyenne,
Wyoming.

There's this friend of mine who owns a
ranch right outside of Cheyenne. It's

roundup time. He's a little short
-staffed. I thought I would help him.

understand. And you're going to New
York. Well, I'm... Where will you be?

Well, I just want to... I may want to
get in touch with you. You never know.

Well, I haven't decided. I mean, what
area will you be in? Will you be in

Manhattan, the Bronx, Staten Island?
Well, as a matter of fact... I changed

mind about going to New York. I was just
going to tell you, Lieutenant.

I've changed my mind. I'm going home to
Sumter, South Carolina.

Sumter, South Carolina? Yeah, that's
right. Hey, that's a good idea. Might be

lot of fun.

Oh, I don't know. It'd be pretty dull.
Just my folks.

Dull? Can you imagine me moseying along
on a horse? Get along, little duck.

Funny. Funny.

Well, um... Well, bye.

Bye. Bye. Have a nice furlough. Thank
you, Lieutenant.

Say, Lieutenant, I would like to
change...

in, uh... South Carolina?

South Carolina. And you have fun in,
uh... Alaska. Where?

Uh, Wisconsin.

Uh, Idaho.

Oh, yeah. Wyoming.

That's such a bad sense of direction.

Goodbye, Lieutenant.

Goodbye. Bye.

I'm sure you'll enjoy yourself. I wonder
if I'll run into anybody who can play

chess. Oh, yes, there's a tournament
every Thursday.

Thanks very much. Won't you come home?
Oh, Sergeant.

Yes, miss? We have a lovely servicemen's
center here.

There's ping pong and chess. Ping pong?
You must be kidding.

Well, if there's anything I can do to
help you have a good time... I'll have a

good time. I'm all ready if you'll just
show me where the phone booths are.

Oh, they're right over there. Thank you.
No offense, I'm just not much for ping

pong. You understand?

Won't you come home, Bill Bailey?

Won't you...

Who's

the first girl?

Linda Carlton, you lucky girl.

Won't you come home, Bill Bailey?

Won't you come home?

I've been gone the whole...

In case of emergency, call Mabel, 10 -1
-2 -1 -1 -2. Oh, how desperate can you

get? Dee -dee -dee -dee -dee -dee.

Hello, Linda, baby, you lucky girl. Your
troubles are over. This is...

Hello? You say your phone was
disconnected. How long ago?

Three years ago.

Oh, thank you.

Oh, Stanley, I just got into town.

Did she leave a phone number?

Yes. Will you take it down?

Yeah, go ahead.

Central 6357.

Central 6357.

listed and you refuse to give it out.

May I tell you that you're speaking to a
member of the armed forces?

Now what if there's an invasion?

No, no, no, little girl. Don't tell your
mommy anybody called.

You're looking more familiar every
minute.

Hey, Bilbo, what's going on there? Wait
a minute, Lola.

Look, if you've got something else...
No, no, no, no, nothing at all.

Oh, you asked something.

Limousine. Lola!

Yes? Are you still driving that 33
Essex?

Yes. Goodbye, honey, and emerge. I'll
see you around, honey.

Well, my love, shall we go to your
chariot?

Oh, Victor, Victor, gee, I... Hold that.
Victor? Who's Victor?

Yay!

Have date. We're giving you a date, and
you're coming with us. Hello, Fern.

What's up?

Look, Lenny, an old college chum of ours
just got into town.

How old?

Stop joking.

Millie and I are going out tonight.

And you want to stick me with this blind
date? Sorry, Fern. See you around. Bye.

Try Bill Harmon.

Oh, don't bother.

Hello, is this Hershkowitz's candy
store?

Look, will you run upstairs and tell
Rhoda that Ernie Bill goes on the phone?

Thank you.

But, Bill, what about your roommate?

Bob? He's got a date, too. Sorry. Bye.

Operator, will you try? I'm scraping the
bottom of the barrel.

I'm sorry.

There's no answer.

Well, that does it.

Oh, Operator, what...

Who's Sam?

You know, I should talk to you the way
you left me standing in front of the

musical that day.

Oh, Sam.

You dog, you.

Who's Sam?

Ernie, it's so great to see you again.

Phyllis? Are you Sam?

Oh, this is my husband, Sam Southcross.

Ernie, don't go.

Quiet, Ernie. Hello.

Phyllis has told me all about you.

I've got a lot of things I've got to
thank you for, Sergeant. Phyllis,

That's the way we met, you see, when you
stood me up in front of the musical.

Gosh, I wish we'd known we're on our way
to Connecticut.

How about it, Ernie? A nice rest, fresh
air?

Cut it out, Phyllis. A soldier on
furlough in New York?

Say, if you don't have a date, I've got
a very pretty secretary. She may be free

tonight. Oh, you don't have... Oh, Sam
getting a date for Ernie.

Oh, that he's always got.

Cut it out, Phyllis. Well, just in case.

There's her name and her telephone
number, and I understand she has a very

roommate if she's busy. Well, you see,
I'm very busy. I may not have the time.

Oh, the time is...

Busy? Well, George, I'm always busy.

But what time should I pick you up
tonight?

Oh, me? I've got a date tonight.

Oh, you have?

Oh, Sam said something about a roommate.

Oh, Millie? Oh, she's got a date, too.
Uh -huh. But wait a minute. A beautiful

girl, a friend of ours, just got into
town, and I think we could talk her into

going out with you.

Beautiful, huh?

Oh, Cookie's a lovely blonde, good
personality, wonderful dancer.

Cookie, huh? Oh, I tell you, you'd just
love her. But why don't you talk to her?

out of chain.

I'm sorry.

I'll have to disconnect you.

Well, look up. Look up. All I got is
five dollars. Look, I'm stuffing it in a

box.

I'm sorry.

Five cents for the next three minutes.
Gotta get change. Change. Hey, buddy,

gotta...

one from Boston. Oh, gee, I hope so.

Soldier, you play ping pong?

Oh, yes, Sergeant.

Now,

look, operator, this is an emergency.

Her name is Sergeant Joan Hogan.

She's living with the folks in Sumter,
South Carolina.

Thank you.

Oh, if I can get in touch with her, I'll
never look at another girl again.

Sergeant, we found a partner for you for
ping pong. Girl?

Yes, sir. Is she, uh... What?

Never mind, I'll be right with you.

Operator, operator, cancel.

Operator, the emergency is over.

I got a partner for you, Sergeant. He'll
be right in. We could play mixed

doubles. Oh, fine.

Sergeant Joan Hogan? Yes, yes. What
about your call to Sergeant Ernest

I'm sorry, but unless we have more to go
on than just a little ranch outside

Cheyenne, Wyoming.

Well, I understand. Thank you very much.
Just the same.

Look, is there someplace I could freshen
up or get a shower? Oh, sure. Just down

the street. There's a little...

Come on, I'll show you. You can't miss
it. There's a big electric sign.

Ping -pong, anyone?

This must be my partner. Shall we jump
over the net, my dear?

Well, that's my partner.

Your partner? Where's mine? Well, she
just ran off.

Well, why don't you stop?

Well, this is certainly my day.

Well, come on, Sarge. Let's volley. No,
no, never mind. Look, I'm starting to

feel a little icky. Can I get out of
these clothes, take a shower or

Well, yeah, there's a YMCA just down the
street. There's a big sign. You can't

miss it. Thank you, son. Thank you.

Here you are.

Thank you.

Good evening, Sergeant.

A room for tonight?

Well, no, I'm staying with friends, but
I thought if I could have a shower or...

Oh, of course.

A little steam, a nap, you'll feel
better.

Here's your locker key, and the locker
room is through there. Oh, thank you.

I'd like a room for tonight.

Well, you certainly would.

Mister, this is the YWCA.

The YMCA is next door. Well, you've got
a YM sign on out there. Oh, is our light

off again?

I'll call the electrician.

Star, Clyde, look alive.

Oh, I'll take care of him later.

Won't you come home, dear?

Listen honey.

Back to the camp.

I might as well get... Come on, look
alive. Look alive.

And

no charge

for service women.

Oh, thank you.

Well, I heard you had a steam shower and
I took a nap.

A double room?

That was a double room. Well, that will
be... Oh, no charge for service, ma 'am.

Thank you very much. Won't you come
home, Mary Mary?

I

don't

get it. Back in only five days.

Yeah, how was New York?

Well, for the first couple of days, it
was miserable.

And then it got worse.

You mean you didn't have a good time?

I just don't want to even remember those
last few days.

Stop panting. Bill Bailey just came
home. Oh, Ernie.

Johnny, Johnny. Oh, Ernie. All right,
look at that. Hey, hey, hey.

Oh, Ernie, I'm so glad to see you. I'm
glad to see you. How was Wyoming?

Oh, wonderful.

Clear. The air is beautiful.

What matters is we're back together.
Let's pick it up where we left off, huh?

Dinner, dancing, shall we? We'll live it
up. I'll pick you up at the same time.

Wonderful. Oh, Ernie.

What is it, baby girl?

You can help me out. I'm filling out
some new physical.

I better make sure I look at my dog
tags.

Oh, I'm sure it's all... It says A.

What's the matter, Ernie?

Hogan, Joan, R.

These are your dog tags.

That's ridiculous. Mine are right here,
see?

Bilko, Ernest.

I don't understand it. The only time I
took my dog tags off...