Original subtitles

They say that time is elastic.

Some days slip by in minutes.

Others feel like years.

And right before an impending disaster, it all blends into one.

That's when you know you've got to get out.

We've got to get out of here.

Alyssa. Just for a night or two. I need at least one day off, extreme makeover,

nursery addition.

Okay, fine, but I'm in the middle of a rewrite.

A what?

A rewrite.

Look, the point is, I'm in the zone, okay? I can't just leave for a few days

willy -nilly.

This is a sacred process.

More sacred than coming up with an exit strategy for our non -existent baby.

Anyway, we have one week to come clean.

Even if we were to get away for a day, what is that going to solve? Aren't we

just running away from the problem?

No, because we would be removing ourselves from the problem in order to

the problem. Think about it, just a few days away, no parents, no work, no

mention of this fake baby.

I mean, that's the kind of thing we need for a solution to appear, to separate

the woods from the trees.

Preferably somewhere in the woods with plenty of trees.

Melissa! Hello!

What the hell?

Anyway,

we just wanted to show you.

I'll see what's up on bookings .com.

Greetings.

Henry and Melissa?

Yes. Well, welcome to the Tiny Lotus. Now.

I know what you're thinking, and before you ask, no, we are not affiliated with

the White Lotus TV franchise, but I'm sure that you'll find all our amenities

are more than comparable and at a fraction of a budget.

Without the dead bodies.

Well, no real ones.

Ah, first time you two?

Uh, I'm sorry?

First time holidaying together.

Uh, yeah.

How can you tell?

You know I have a nose for these kind of things.

You know what they say?

First holiday either makes... Or breaks a relationship.

But I say there'll be no breaking on my watch. No dreary silences or mismatched

activities or adulterous midnight rendezvous. Just making...

memory. Speaking of which, can I

perk your interest in a tour?

Or maybe a visit to our wildlife reserve? Or perhaps one of our famous...

Entertainment package?

No. We're just here to clear our minds. The less activity, the better.

I don't... You

can have whatever you

like.

You can have whatever you like.

Whatever you... Whatever you... Whatever you like.

Like.

It's a hard couple, right?

I shouldn't have said that.

Here's your key card.

Nothing. It was about the fake baby.

You got something?

It's more of a question.

Oh, right.

Oh, shit.

I'm going to get my charger.

You want anything?

Right.

What, Mark?

I... Yeah, I... I forgot my tea card.

Happens. Bye,

Peter. All right?

Russia's deadliest lake.

Eight liters.

Who the hell would know that?

Lake Karachay.

K -A -R -A -C -H -A -Y.

Jump in that, and the plutonium will melt you.

Or so I've heard.

Thanks. Ready for a dip?

Who are those people and why are they so hot?

Maybe they're dangerous.

Let's go find out. What? No.

Oh, come on. It'll be fun.

No. Henry, stop being such a bore. I'm not. I just... I like staying in my

comfort zone.

Besides, maybe the concierge was right.

This is kind of like our first real date together without all the fake stuff.

Maybe we should spend it getting to know each other instead of another random

couple.

Yeah, no, you're right.

Let's do it.

No work, no parents, no fake baby. Just you and me getting to know each other.

So, um... This bread smells great.

Really? What? That's your conversation starter?

Fine, you go.

Amateur.

I'm going to break it. See? Fuck.

It's hard.

I'm going to zip to the bathroom.

Yep.

Hello?

Emily, you've got to help me.

Are you okay?

Do you need something scrubbed off the internet again?

No. It's Henry.

And it's me. We made an agreement we wouldn't talk about the fake pregnancy,

now it's like...

I don't know how to talk about anything else. Oh, no. Should we break the ban?

Well, not if you agreed to it.

You could always try roleplay.

Roleplay? Yeah, that way you can get out of your head.

Pretend to be someone not as interesting as, well, you.

Ali, the whole reason we're in this place is because there's too much

No more bad suggestions.

Okay, okay.

Gee, calm down.

What if I broke something?

Expensive. Would that spice things up? What? No.

Look, just... Why don't you two try and, like, make friends with some of the

other guests?

What? Why?

Because, Henry, that's what couples do.

They discover themselves by being with other couples.

Why else do you think people go on double dates? Really?

Totally. You should make him do it.

Yeah, 100%. Make him do it.

Um... Wait, what?

I mean, make her do it. Or just, like, listen to her. Who's that in the

background?

No one.

Jen, is that Ellie? No. Oh, is that Jen?

No, I'm sorry. I've got to go. See you. Bye.

Oh,

Ruth.

That is the quietest wheeling case I've ever heard.

I've changed my mind. Let's go talk to the hot couple. Finally.

Something is up.

Who do you think they are?

Hot eco -terrorists on vigilantes.

That's weird.

You didn't even check the bin.

Perfect.

Come here.

Burner phone. I think that means twice.

No messages. No contact.

One received call.

Bye. Bye.

What are you doing? Shut up. Don't speak.

Number five.

Proceed to number five.

That's weird.

Breathe.

This phone.

I swear, we're not working for anyone. Tell me the truth. I am.

Look, I swear, we were just having an awkward time at dinner because we had

domestic trouble at home. We couldn't talk about it, so we decided to follow

to liven the conversation.

I know it sounds crazy, but I swear it's true.

I know the feeling.

You see, Brad and I, we two have our troubles.

He likes to improvise.

I like a well -executed plan.

On missions like this, it becomes challenging.

Right.

I'm sorry, but what exactly is your mission?

If you don't mind me asking.

We're busting a ring of smugglers.

They have a rare egg of the endangered kakapo variant.

Told you, eco -terrorists.

The waiter with the... OK. No, it was empty.

Classic decoy manoeuvre. And now my partner and I have split up and a signal

dead.

Number five.

The message on the phone, it said proceed to number five. We just got to

out what that means, right? Yeah, yeah.

Oh, it's probably just a room number.

No?

Oh, yeah, what she said.

There's got to be a set -up, right? You think my partner double -crossed me?

Well, I don't want to jump to conclusions, but... No, you're right. I

same would come.

They must be heading towards the utility building.

Wait!

If Henry, right, and your partner did turn on you, you could be walking into

ambush. Yes.

But I must complete the mission.

The Kuckapaw needs me.

Even if Brad and I have our differences, we're still partners till the end.

Off we go.

It would be stupid to follow her, right? Oh, come on.

Graton, we have verified your payment and captured an uninvited house guest.

Bastard. Your merchandise is here to infect.

She's using a filthy stick.

What are we doing? We need to save that cockapoo.

No, you do or die.

How did you do that?

I'm a hobby horse roller dubious.

Jumping on runaway horses is kind of my thing.

Shall we make a run for it?

What the hell do you think you two are playing at? Do you have any idea how

difficult this was to arrange?

for you, Mr.

and Mrs. Lee. We are not married. And you never will be.

Thanks for your help.

That was a close one.

Is that a Californian accent?

If I told you, I'd have to... I can take that from here.

Not so fast.

Honey? Darling, did you betray me?

What? No.

No, of course not. These two seem to think so.

No, that was... You never get caught.

Never.

So why would it happen tonight?

Hon, I was improvising.

I let them catch me on purpose so you could follow my signal. But there was no

signal. Of course there was. Look, it's right here.

They ran out of battery.

I'm sorry.

This is why I hate it.

When you improvise!

Well, did you like it?

I was a bit over her, please be honest. Babe, I never would have got it.

I may have pissed myself.

So you two lied to your parents about being pregnant, and now they have an

ultrasound of a fake embryo in the fridge?

Wow, this is crazy.

And we have been on some crazy missions with some crazy cover stories.

Yeah, but nothing like that.

So what are you two going to do when you get back?

No idea.

We weren't even supposed to be talking about it while we were here, but too

for that.

I don't understand. Why weren't you meant to talk about it here?

Well, I guess this getaway was supposed to be like the Zen retreat where we

clear our minds, but instead of finding a solution, I think... I think that we

found out that without talking about these lies, we have nothing much to talk

about.

God, I think you're right.

You know, just speaking from experience, I don't think people do the job we do

if they weren't running away from something in the past.

That's right.

It's not about what's hidden in the old life.

It's about what's created in your new life.

Together.

It's why me and Ange, we have this thing.

Where every week we tell each other one thing about ourselves from the past

life. Something we wouldn't tell anyone else.

Come on, Henry.

You first.

Oh, no, come on, no. Henry, you must. Come on. Yeah, Henry, you must. Come on.

Okay, fine.

Um...

I know every episode title of Buffy the Vampire Slayer.

Big deal.

So did every straight guy who had a crush on Sarah Michelle Gellar in the

Okay, fine. Well, what's your awesome secret?

I can yodel.

So? So, it's a very niche skill, Henry.

What are you, a Swiss cow? You take that back.

You take your thing back. No, you first. You first. You. You said it first.

Stop. Stop.

You're not doing this right.

Brad, darling.

Uh, okay.

You know, sometimes, this job we do, I don't think it really

matters.

Brad, no.

Yeah.

It's okay.

Me too.

Really? Yes.

But when you've come this far, what do you have left?

There. See?

Something deep and real.

And deep.

Your turn.

I think love's an obsolete byproduct of a single cellular evolution.

And I think we seek it for transcendence, which really is just an

illusion.

I can't form.

I think we might excuse ourselves and let you figure that out.

Sure, yeah.

Wait, you're saying that when single -cell organisms finally decided to flap

together in a multi -cell in a colony like us, they created love to give us,

their hosts, a reason to live? Yeah, and procreate.

We work for them.

Without us, I'd just go back to wriggling on the ground, being raped and

pillaged by bacteria in sunlight.

It's pretty dark.

It's biology.

At least I'm not scared of falling asleep because it's too much like dying.

You are literally losing consciousness.

Oh, no, I don't want to hear that.

Your heart.

The first time I was with someone, afterwards she just turned around and

asleep.

I think that's when I realised, even when you've found someone, you still

that final journey into sleep alone.

I guess it all ends just the same.

Just a cold.

Insomnia.

You know...

It is possible to fall asleep simultaneously.

So glad we caught you, too. We had such a blast last night. How fun is this

place? It makes the escape rooms in Tairanga look pretty shonky, I've got to

say. Your voices, they're different voices.

Yeah. Oh, you used your own. That was genius.

We were saying, weren't we, that you both seemed so natural. So natural.

Yeah, they didn't tell us there'd be others playing.

Playing. Oh, sorry.

Are you doing a bit?

Are you two still laughing?

What the hell's that?

You know.

Live action role play?

One of their famous entertainment packages.

Yeah, yeah.

Oh, you didn't think we were actually spies, did you?

Thank you, but no, I'm a geography teacher and Bradley here's a locksmith.

Locksmith. Yeah, this is just how we like to spy things up.

We like to keep our real lives pretty drama -free, you know? Right.

Sorry to interrupt.

Okay.

Speak with you two privately?

Oh, you two must go to high school.

Good luck. Thank you.

Thank you. Bye -bye. Bye -bye.

Not one in all my time here has anyone dared hijack another

couple's entertainment package. We didn't. And considering I explicitly

you one upon arrival, you were so lucky those two had fun and are not.

Praising charges.

Expect to see this on your bill.

Get out of here.

Come on.

Oh. We like to keep our real lives drama -free. I mean, how boring do you have

to be to go laughing as a couple just to spice things up? I know, right? And

somehow we're the bad guys, even though they're the ones that string us along.

I'm going to leave them a very bad review.

Zero stars.

They'd better believe it.

Dad?

Are you okay?

Yeah.

They say time is elastic. The more you try to hold it off, the harder it snaps

back. We love it.

Yep, love it.

我的世界是水中 我从没想过 你会这样离开我 我从没想过

我从没想过