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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:02,970 [Bass thumping] 2 00:00:03,030 --> 00:00:04,300 Extra Wet Double Soaker 3 00:00:04,440 --> 00:00:06,410 with a side of Drippy Fries, and hurry. 4 00:00:06,440 --> 00:00:08,180 I have to drive through residential areas 5 00:00:08,280 --> 00:00:11,150 and wake people up with my tiny--big engine. 6 00:00:11,220 --> 00:00:14,060 [Revs engine, tires squeal] 7 00:00:14,190 --> 00:00:15,590 Ugh! Come on! 8 00:00:15,660 --> 00:00:16,660 [Honks horn] 9 00:00:16,760 --> 00:00:18,260 Goose: Honk! Man: Ugh. 10 00:00:18,330 --> 00:00:21,270 Get out of the way, goose! 11 00:00:21,400 --> 00:00:22,740 Goose: Honk! 12 00:00:22,840 --> 00:00:27,080 Dunh! God! Ugh! So lame! 13 00:00:27,180 --> 00:00:29,520 You better not mess up my bumper when I run you over, 14 00:00:29,690 --> 00:00:30,520 or I'm gonna-- 15 00:00:30,690 --> 00:00:32,260 [Revs engine] 16 00:00:36,900 --> 00:00:38,810 Goose: Honk. Man: Ugh! 17 00:00:38,870 --> 00:00:40,510 [Grunting] 18 00:00:40,580 --> 00:00:41,680 [Crack] 19 00:00:41,780 --> 00:00:43,780 Aah! 20 00:00:43,920 --> 00:00:45,920 [Screaming, goose honking] 21 00:00:46,050 --> 00:00:48,560 [Sounds stop] 22 00:00:49,660 --> 00:00:52,300 [Bass thumping] 23 00:00:55,240 --> 00:00:57,410 -Cool car. -Honk! 24 00:01:00,150 --> 00:01:02,650 [Theme music playing] 25 00:01:17,820 --> 00:01:18,720 [Glass breaks] 26 00:01:21,390 --> 00:01:23,130 Martinez: So today I would like to-- 27 00:01:23,260 --> 00:01:25,270 Flute: What's going on? Is this a religious service, 28 00:01:25,400 --> 00:01:26,970 an AA meeting, a roast? 29 00:01:27,100 --> 00:01:28,410 If so, I've got some good material. 30 00:01:28,510 --> 00:01:30,410 Ahem. Wynona's been sampled by so many DJs 31 00:01:30,480 --> 00:01:32,310 Spotify should send her a royalty. 32 00:01:32,410 --> 00:01:34,120 Flute, these are the new morning meetings 33 00:01:34,180 --> 00:01:36,720 we'll be having now that I'm the chief. 34 00:01:36,860 --> 00:01:38,130 Did you not get the invite? 35 00:01:38,190 --> 00:01:39,660 Oh, I got your invite, 36 00:01:39,790 --> 00:01:41,300 and then I wiped my butt with it and threw it in the trash. 37 00:01:41,400 --> 00:01:43,000 I sent it in an e-mail. 38 00:01:43,130 --> 00:01:44,370 Which is why I need a new laptop. 39 00:01:44,500 --> 00:01:47,440 Sit down and put your sandwich away! 40 00:01:49,010 --> 00:01:50,120 Now that I'm in charge, 41 00:01:50,250 --> 00:01:52,020 things will be different around here. 42 00:01:52,090 --> 00:01:53,120 According to my new book 43 00:01:53,260 --> 00:01:54,990 on Steve Jobs' leadership style, 44 00:01:55,030 --> 00:01:56,900 the key to running a tight ship 45 00:01:57,000 --> 00:01:58,230 is to think different 46 00:01:58,300 --> 00:01:59,900 while wearing the same outfit 47 00:01:59,970 --> 00:02:01,100 over and over again 48 00:02:01,170 --> 00:02:02,440 until it smells terrible. 49 00:02:02,540 --> 00:02:04,750 Also, I will no longer be acknowledging 50 00:02:04,810 --> 00:02:05,850 my first child. 51 00:02:05,910 --> 00:02:07,150 Why are we changing things? 52 00:02:07,320 --> 00:02:08,550 I mean, this place ran just fine before. 53 00:02:08,590 --> 00:02:10,020 back me up on how stupid your new boss 54 00:02:10,190 --> 00:02:11,460 is being, Summers. 55 00:02:11,560 --> 00:02:13,230 Summers: Uh, Summers isn't here right now. 56 00:02:13,330 --> 00:02:15,070 Please leave a message. Boop! 57 00:02:15,170 --> 00:02:16,400 Flute: Oh. Hey, Summers. 58 00:02:16,540 --> 00:02:17,870 Sorry I missed you, but don't you agree 59 00:02:18,040 --> 00:02:19,310 things ran just fine back when-- 60 00:02:19,370 --> 00:02:20,540 Summers: The voice mailbox is full 61 00:02:20,680 --> 00:02:22,410 and does not want to take sides. Good-bye. 62 00:02:22,510 --> 00:02:24,420 Dispatch: Body found in the Soakers parking lot. 63 00:02:24,520 --> 00:02:26,760 Martinez: Team, let's go! Flute: I'm on the case! 64 00:02:30,760 --> 00:02:33,300 Dispatch: Can we talk about getting me a window in here? 65 00:02:33,430 --> 00:02:36,510 D-did you leave already? 66 00:02:36,610 --> 00:02:38,010 That's right. I wouldn't know 67 00:02:38,080 --> 00:02:40,420 because I don't have a window! 68 00:02:41,920 --> 00:02:43,190 Hi. I'm Harmony. 69 00:02:43,360 --> 00:02:44,790 I'll be chaperoning your field trip today 70 00:02:44,860 --> 00:02:45,890 to City Hall. 71 00:02:45,960 --> 00:02:47,160 I never went to middle school 72 00:02:47,260 --> 00:02:48,470 because I was raised in the wild, 73 00:02:48,570 --> 00:02:50,900 so I am super excited to finally see 74 00:02:51,040 --> 00:02:52,810 what sixth grade is all about. 75 00:02:52,870 --> 00:02:56,180 I hope my boobs don't look like that when I'm 60. 76 00:02:56,250 --> 00:02:57,380 Harmony: I'm 38! 77 00:02:57,450 --> 00:03:00,420 So is my court-appointed therapist. 78 00:03:01,220 --> 00:03:02,990 Oh, that little bitch! 79 00:03:03,090 --> 00:03:04,060 I'm obsessed. Who is she? 80 00:03:04,130 --> 00:03:05,330 That's Khaleesi. 81 00:03:05,470 --> 00:03:06,800 She's the coolest girl in our class. 82 00:03:06,970 --> 00:03:08,310 Rumor has it she's dating a ghost 83 00:03:08,370 --> 00:03:09,740 who's in high school. 84 00:03:09,810 --> 00:03:11,750 She was so mean to me, yet all I want to do 85 00:03:11,810 --> 00:03:14,480 is whatever she wants so that she'll like me. 86 00:03:14,620 --> 00:03:17,190 -What's happening? -Welcome to middle school. 87 00:03:17,260 --> 00:03:19,090 As you know, the legal voting age 88 00:03:19,230 --> 00:03:21,230 in this country is 18 and over 89 00:03:21,360 --> 00:03:23,670 except in Grimsburg, where our constitution 90 00:03:23,740 --> 00:03:27,510 clearly states voters must be under the age of 18. 91 00:03:27,610 --> 00:03:30,080 While most believe this was a simple typo, 92 00:03:30,220 --> 00:03:31,950 unfortunately our 23rd amendment 93 00:03:32,090 --> 00:03:33,490 is "no take backs," 94 00:03:33,520 --> 00:03:35,360 so with election season upon us-- 95 00:03:35,430 --> 00:03:37,600 Harmony: Nerd alert! 96 00:03:41,140 --> 00:03:42,270 [Camera clicking] 97 00:03:42,370 --> 00:03:43,810 Hey, Wynona. Did you see how stupid 98 00:03:43,910 --> 00:03:45,980 Martinez look with her new professional pantsuit 99 00:03:46,050 --> 00:03:47,280 and professional hairdo 100 00:03:47,380 --> 00:03:48,720 and professional lack of laughter 101 00:03:48,820 --> 00:03:50,360 when I put my butt up to the drive-thru mic 102 00:03:50,420 --> 00:03:52,130 and ordered 3 medium... [Farts] 103 00:03:52,190 --> 00:03:53,930 and a large chocolate... [Farts twice] 104 00:03:53,960 --> 00:03:56,370 Don't drag me into your office hate affair with Martinez. 105 00:03:56,470 --> 00:03:58,000 This is why I hang with dead people. 106 00:03:58,070 --> 00:04:01,380 They don't put me in the middle unless I pose them that way. 107 00:04:01,550 --> 00:04:04,250 Kang: Look. Things have changed, and you need to accept that 108 00:04:04,380 --> 00:04:06,090 because this little spat between you two 109 00:04:06,150 --> 00:04:07,560 is destroying the office vibe, 110 00:04:07,690 --> 00:04:10,300 a vibe I've worked tirelessly to cultivate. 111 00:04:10,430 --> 00:04:11,670 I didn't put that cactus agave candle 112 00:04:11,800 --> 00:04:13,440 in the bathroom to have you ruin it. 113 00:04:13,570 --> 00:04:15,410 Fix your beef with Martinez. 114 00:04:15,470 --> 00:04:16,980 There's nothing wrong with my beef. 115 00:04:17,040 --> 00:04:18,680 My beef is fine. Her beef stinks. 116 00:04:18,810 --> 00:04:20,520 I just want to go back to the old system 117 00:04:20,580 --> 00:04:22,420 where I do what I want when I want, how I want 118 00:04:22,550 --> 00:04:24,860 why I want, where I want, who I want, whom I want, 119 00:04:24,990 --> 00:04:28,600 and the lesser known but equally effective whomst I want. 120 00:04:33,440 --> 00:04:35,780 New rule! No more crime minds! 121 00:04:35,910 --> 00:04:36,920 [Smack] 122 00:04:37,050 --> 00:04:38,590 The crime mind is my whole thing. 123 00:04:38,690 --> 00:04:40,320 Without it, I'm just the best-looking detective 124 00:04:40,420 --> 00:04:41,490 in the office. 125 00:04:41,590 --> 00:04:43,160 Whomst do you think you arst? 126 00:04:43,260 --> 00:04:45,170 Martinez: I arst your bosst, 127 00:04:45,300 --> 00:04:47,040 which means I make the rules, 128 00:04:47,170 --> 00:04:49,040 so from now on, we wear gloves 129 00:04:49,170 --> 00:04:50,340 when handling evidence. 130 00:04:50,480 --> 00:04:52,050 And what happens if I do this 131 00:04:52,180 --> 00:04:54,050 or this or this? 132 00:04:54,180 --> 00:04:55,790 Muh? 133 00:04:55,920 --> 00:04:57,590 Ehhn, ehhn, ehnn! 134 00:04:58,930 --> 00:05:00,260 OK. That's it. 135 00:05:00,360 --> 00:05:01,930 Now, what are you gonna do, huh, 136 00:05:02,070 --> 00:05:03,400 yell at me, call me a doofus, 137 00:05:03,470 --> 00:05:05,410 curse me out in that other language you speak? 138 00:05:05,470 --> 00:05:09,780 No. I'm going to write you up for insubordination. 139 00:05:09,950 --> 00:05:11,250 Flute: Err. 140 00:05:11,320 --> 00:05:12,590 Server: Here's your 3 medium... [Farts] 141 00:05:12,750 --> 00:05:15,690 and one chocolate... [Farts twice] 142 00:05:15,830 --> 00:05:17,530 sir. 143 00:05:18,330 --> 00:05:20,200 Dilquez: Welcome, child voters! 144 00:05:20,340 --> 00:05:22,510 Y'all bussin'. Bible. Heh heh. 145 00:05:22,610 --> 00:05:24,640 Now my pollsters say you are a swing grade 146 00:05:24,780 --> 00:05:27,220 for me in this election, and I respect that. 147 00:05:27,350 --> 00:05:29,490 No cap, which is why I'll prove I'm 148 00:05:29,550 --> 00:05:32,660 the only candidate who will fight for you in Fortnite 149 00:05:32,760 --> 00:05:34,930 so that we can build something great 150 00:05:35,060 --> 00:05:36,270 in Minecraft 151 00:05:36,370 --> 00:05:39,370 and together we can tear down any Roblox 152 00:05:39,470 --> 00:05:42,480 that get in our way. 153 00:05:42,610 --> 00:05:44,380 Now let's get to the real pandering. 154 00:05:44,480 --> 00:05:47,460 Children, please say hello to... 155 00:05:48,660 --> 00:05:49,660 What the?! 156 00:05:49,790 --> 00:05:52,330 If you'll excuse me for a moment. 157 00:05:52,400 --> 00:05:54,000 Oh. Hey, Harmony. 158 00:05:55,240 --> 00:05:56,370 He and I used to do it. 159 00:05:56,470 --> 00:05:57,840 It's OK. His wife knew. 160 00:05:57,940 --> 00:06:00,520 She sometimes watched, but then I was over it, 161 00:06:00,680 --> 00:06:03,290 and now Mrs. Dilquez and I are best friends. 162 00:06:03,390 --> 00:06:05,260 Adult sex is complicated. 163 00:06:05,360 --> 00:06:07,530 You're so mother. I love it. 164 00:06:07,600 --> 00:06:09,770 You're with us today. Take this. 165 00:06:09,900 --> 00:06:13,270 Skates: It's made of substitute teacher hair. 166 00:06:13,410 --> 00:06:14,440 [Sniffs] 167 00:06:14,540 --> 00:06:16,520 I can smell their fear of you. 168 00:06:16,580 --> 00:06:19,390 Martinez: It gives me no pleasure punishing you. 169 00:06:19,450 --> 00:06:21,560 I look orgasmic for other reasons. 170 00:06:21,660 --> 00:06:24,660 Flute: Oh, yeah? Well, I can write stuff down, too. 171 00:06:25,530 --> 00:06:26,800 Mayor, thank God you're here. 172 00:06:26,970 --> 00:06:31,010 I'm filing a report on Martinez. It's all there. 173 00:06:31,080 --> 00:06:32,350 My goose is loose, 174 00:06:32,410 --> 00:06:33,880 and youse twos need to find that goose, 175 00:06:34,050 --> 00:06:35,220 so vamoose! 176 00:06:35,290 --> 00:06:36,590 I just watched "The Lorax." 177 00:06:36,720 --> 00:06:39,290 We're kind of on a murder investigation. 178 00:06:39,430 --> 00:06:41,570 Isn't this a job for animal control? 179 00:06:41,730 --> 00:06:43,130 Sorry, but Frank and the gang 180 00:06:43,270 --> 00:06:44,270 have their hands full this week 181 00:06:44,370 --> 00:06:45,540 with another wacky 182 00:06:45,610 --> 00:06:46,840 but emotionally grounded adventure, 183 00:06:46,940 --> 00:06:49,010 so you need to find him, and be careful. 184 00:06:49,050 --> 00:06:51,720 My goose is...special. 185 00:06:51,820 --> 00:06:53,590 I'll find your goose, but if I do, 186 00:06:53,720 --> 00:06:55,490 Martinez can no longer be my boss. 187 00:06:55,590 --> 00:06:57,960 Martinez: Mayor, would you please explain to Flute 188 00:06:58,130 --> 00:07:00,840 that the reason I got this job over him is because-- 189 00:07:00,940 --> 00:07:02,510 Dilquez: I don't care about your departmental 190 00:07:02,570 --> 00:07:04,210 squibble-squabbles, 191 00:07:04,340 --> 00:07:05,480 so whoever finds my goose can have 192 00:07:05,580 --> 00:07:06,720 whatever they want. 193 00:07:06,820 --> 00:07:09,350 Oh, and if neither of you find him, 194 00:07:09,450 --> 00:07:10,920 you're both fired. 195 00:07:11,020 --> 00:07:13,800 Both: We accept your wild goose chase. 196 00:07:30,660 --> 00:07:32,730 I'm gonna make you the smartest goose. 197 00:07:32,800 --> 00:07:35,940 It's a low bar, but we're passing it. 198 00:07:44,930 --> 00:07:47,100 -Honk. -Shh! 199 00:07:47,260 --> 00:07:48,700 Honk! 200 00:07:51,200 --> 00:07:54,210 [Librarian grunting] 201 00:07:54,280 --> 00:07:55,450 [Goose grunting] 202 00:07:55,510 --> 00:07:57,250 [Librarian groaning] 203 00:07:57,320 --> 00:07:58,320 [Screaming] 204 00:07:58,380 --> 00:08:00,490 Woman: Shh! 205 00:08:00,620 --> 00:08:02,060 Librarian, whispering: Aah! Not the eyes. 206 00:08:02,160 --> 00:08:05,900 I need them for reading because I'm a librarian! Aah! 207 00:08:10,280 --> 00:08:11,380 Time to get that goose, 208 00:08:11,550 --> 00:08:12,810 which will get Martinez's goose, 209 00:08:12,880 --> 00:08:14,450 and then things will be back to the glorious, 210 00:08:14,550 --> 00:08:15,690 gooseless, godless way it was before. 211 00:08:15,790 --> 00:08:18,560 Summers: Let's go, you silly goose. 212 00:08:18,660 --> 00:08:20,560 I'm sorry. That was in poor taste. 213 00:08:20,660 --> 00:08:22,270 -I'm doing this alone. -Great! 214 00:08:22,400 --> 00:08:23,640 Everyone else is on my team. 215 00:08:23,740 --> 00:08:25,240 Flute: What? That's not fair. 216 00:08:25,310 --> 00:08:26,640 I want a team, too. 217 00:08:26,780 --> 00:08:28,110 Marvin: You just want them because I have them. 218 00:08:28,280 --> 00:08:29,410 Flute: Uh, no doy! 219 00:08:29,510 --> 00:08:30,520 That's how petty jealousy works. 220 00:08:30,650 --> 00:08:31,920 Ugh. I'm sorry. 221 00:08:31,990 --> 00:08:33,390 Would you mind stepping on a chair? 222 00:08:33,450 --> 00:08:34,790 My back is killing me today. 223 00:08:34,930 --> 00:08:37,360 Martinez: I'm the boss. You come down to me. 224 00:08:37,430 --> 00:08:38,530 Flute: Fine. 225 00:08:38,630 --> 00:08:41,740 [Grunting] 226 00:08:41,840 --> 00:08:43,410 You can't tell me what to do! 227 00:08:43,540 --> 00:08:45,050 Kang: Hey, hey! We've got a better chance 228 00:08:45,110 --> 00:08:46,720 of saving the vibe and catching the goose 229 00:08:46,820 --> 00:08:47,950 if we all work together. 230 00:08:47,980 --> 00:08:50,460 Exactly. Together on separate teams 231 00:08:50,590 --> 00:08:52,130 pitted against each other. 232 00:08:52,190 --> 00:08:53,160 Let's pick. 233 00:08:53,290 --> 00:08:55,770 [Grunting] 234 00:08:58,540 --> 00:09:00,440 Ladies and whatever you are first. 235 00:09:00,580 --> 00:09:01,780 Kang! 236 00:09:01,850 --> 00:09:03,720 Summers: Ooh, ooh! Can I have a second 237 00:09:03,820 --> 00:09:05,420 to practice my surprise face when you pick me over Wynona? 238 00:09:05,490 --> 00:09:06,820 Ooh! 239 00:09:06,960 --> 00:09:08,590 Wynona: But I don't want to be on anybody's team. 240 00:09:08,690 --> 00:09:10,460 I want to be neutral like Switzerland 241 00:09:10,560 --> 00:09:12,430 or journalists before the 1990s. 242 00:09:12,500 --> 00:09:13,670 Summers... 243 00:09:13,740 --> 00:09:15,140 you're with me. 244 00:09:15,240 --> 00:09:16,610 Don't worry. You'll be my man on the inside. 245 00:09:16,710 --> 00:09:17,880 Team Secret Flute. 246 00:09:18,010 --> 00:09:19,580 Summers: Ooh! Do we get code names? 247 00:09:19,680 --> 00:09:21,250 Flute: I'm already regretting this. 248 00:09:21,350 --> 00:09:24,090 Summers: And I'm Dr. Marzipan. 249 00:09:25,060 --> 00:09:26,590 These are the giant scissors I used to cut 250 00:09:26,760 --> 00:09:28,630 the ribbon for the mall that burned down. 251 00:09:28,730 --> 00:09:32,010 Ah! I are used to open the casino that exploded. 252 00:09:32,110 --> 00:09:34,940 This. Oh, this! Oh, my God! This one's-- 253 00:09:35,010 --> 00:09:36,980 Khaleesi: Where's the cool thing you promised us? 254 00:09:37,120 --> 00:09:40,460 Harmony: Yeah, we're sick of this. We want... 255 00:09:40,520 --> 00:09:41,760 Taylor's version! 256 00:09:41,860 --> 00:09:47,640 Uh, almost ready, but first, my wife. 257 00:09:47,700 --> 00:09:48,740 [Machinery whirs] 258 00:09:48,870 --> 00:09:51,040 Ha ha ha. Good one, honey. 259 00:09:51,110 --> 00:09:51,910 Moving on. 260 00:09:52,050 --> 00:09:53,880 Harmony: I'm in with the cool crowd. 261 00:09:54,020 --> 00:09:55,620 We're wearing the wrong jeans. I'll fill you in later. 262 00:09:55,750 --> 00:09:57,190 Stan: During the last election, you replaced 263 00:09:57,260 --> 00:09:59,190 all of Grimsburg's subways with zip lines to make 264 00:09:59,260 --> 00:10:03,030 public transportation, quote, "Greener and super rizzed up." 265 00:10:03,130 --> 00:10:05,040 Have they actually lowered emissions 266 00:10:05,110 --> 00:10:07,340 even though the busses you take to the top 267 00:10:07,440 --> 00:10:08,780 run on diesel? 268 00:10:08,880 --> 00:10:13,820 Uh...who wants to see an execution, huh? 269 00:10:16,390 --> 00:10:18,670 [Librarian sobbing] 270 00:10:18,800 --> 00:10:20,500 Flute: Afternoon, crying book officer. 271 00:10:20,570 --> 00:10:21,870 Tell me everything you know. 272 00:10:21,940 --> 00:10:23,910 Librarian: I already told the other detectives 273 00:10:24,010 --> 00:10:25,810 the goose attacked me after I caught it reading. 274 00:10:25,910 --> 00:10:28,320 Wait! Are you trying to tell me that 275 00:10:28,420 --> 00:10:29,920 Martinez beat us here? 276 00:10:30,090 --> 00:10:31,630 Great job, Wynona! Now I'm gonna lose 277 00:10:31,690 --> 00:10:32,960 because you're slowing me down 278 00:10:33,090 --> 00:10:34,800 like Matt Damon slows down Ben Affleck. 279 00:10:34,900 --> 00:10:36,300 Hey. I didn't ask to be a part of this, 280 00:10:36,330 --> 00:10:38,970 so stop taking your frustrations out on me and Matt Damon. 281 00:10:39,070 --> 00:10:41,410 He's clearly the alpha in that relationship. 282 00:10:41,510 --> 00:10:42,680 It's true. 283 00:10:42,810 --> 00:10:44,080 Ugh. Whatever. We're wasting time. 284 00:10:44,180 --> 00:10:47,620 We got to find out what Martinez knows! 285 00:10:47,720 --> 00:10:49,360 All right? One of them is a superhero, 286 00:10:49,430 --> 00:10:50,560 and the other one bought a zoo. 287 00:10:50,700 --> 00:10:52,270 Come on! 288 00:10:54,840 --> 00:10:56,580 Where are you going next, goosey? 289 00:10:56,710 --> 00:10:58,140 [Cell phone vibrates] 290 00:10:59,450 --> 00:11:00,680 Hello, Already Regretting This. 291 00:11:00,750 --> 00:11:01,950 Go for Dr. Marzipan. 292 00:11:02,050 --> 00:11:03,790 Flute: 'Sup? My team's doing great. 293 00:11:03,860 --> 00:11:04,860 We basically solved it, so we're just chilling, 294 00:11:04,960 --> 00:11:06,600 looking at Zillow porn. 295 00:11:06,730 --> 00:11:07,930 Found a castle in Idaho for 90 grand. 296 00:11:08,000 --> 00:11:09,800 Thinking about it, but while I got you, 297 00:11:09,900 --> 00:11:11,470 tell me everything Martinez knows. 298 00:11:11,570 --> 00:11:12,540 Martinez: Who are you talking to? 299 00:11:12,610 --> 00:11:13,680 Summers: Aah! 300 00:11:13,810 --> 00:11:16,310 Uh, my best friend Clarinet. 301 00:11:16,450 --> 00:11:17,680 You wouldn't know him. 302 00:11:17,820 --> 00:11:19,220 He's a single dad with a drinking problem, 303 00:11:19,290 --> 00:11:21,530 who thinks I didn't see him cry over a hot dog 304 00:11:21,590 --> 00:11:22,990 he dropped at a baseball game. 305 00:11:23,090 --> 00:11:25,800 Flute: It cost $12 and was in a souvenir bun. 306 00:11:28,000 --> 00:11:30,540 Martinez: I can't believe you betrayed me. 307 00:11:30,610 --> 00:11:31,880 Flute: Don't worry, Summers. 308 00:11:32,010 --> 00:11:33,580 I could use a guy like you on my team. 309 00:11:33,720 --> 00:11:34,880 Wynona is being a total Matt Damon. 310 00:11:35,020 --> 00:11:35,990 Martinez: I'm fine with those apples. 311 00:11:36,120 --> 00:11:37,720 Wynona, want to join my team? 312 00:11:37,790 --> 00:11:39,930 I'll let you take a body home this week. 313 00:11:39,990 --> 00:11:41,800 Wynona: Ugh! Why can't we just get along 314 00:11:41,900 --> 00:11:42,930 like the fire department 315 00:11:43,000 --> 00:11:44,600 and make sexy calendars together 316 00:11:44,740 --> 00:11:46,470 like a real public safety office? 317 00:11:46,610 --> 00:11:47,740 [Crying] 318 00:11:47,840 --> 00:11:49,610 Kang: Well, you two finally did it. 319 00:11:49,710 --> 00:11:50,850 You killed the vibe. 320 00:11:50,950 --> 00:11:52,350 Martinez: You can't kill a vibe. 321 00:11:52,490 --> 00:11:53,620 It's not even real. 322 00:11:53,690 --> 00:11:55,120 Not real, not real? 323 00:11:55,190 --> 00:11:57,730 Then why would Spencer's Gifts sell a vibe meter? 324 00:11:57,830 --> 00:11:59,500 We're at a two, 325 00:11:59,600 --> 00:12:01,510 so now I have to go save the vibe 326 00:12:01,610 --> 00:12:04,140 and find this goose without you. 327 00:12:04,210 --> 00:12:05,910 Summers: Well, at least you still got me. 328 00:12:06,050 --> 00:12:08,050 Martinez and Flute: Get out! 329 00:12:08,180 --> 00:12:10,090 Dispatch: Truck explosion at the bread crumb factory. 330 00:12:10,150 --> 00:12:11,790 Assailant described as short, white, 331 00:12:11,930 --> 00:12:13,360 and covered in feathers. 332 00:12:13,490 --> 00:12:15,330 My God! Bjork is back. 333 00:12:15,470 --> 00:12:16,900 Dispatch: Not this time. 334 00:12:17,000 --> 00:12:18,770 Reports are it's a goose who was last seen flying south 335 00:12:18,910 --> 00:12:21,110 towards the Grimsburg Piescraper. 336 00:12:24,650 --> 00:12:26,290 Not that I could see it in here. 337 00:12:26,350 --> 00:12:29,030 All I can see is a 1998 "Dilbert a Day" calendar, 338 00:12:29,190 --> 00:12:31,670 and I'm starting to find it funny. 339 00:12:31,770 --> 00:12:33,230 Help me! 340 00:12:34,770 --> 00:12:36,070 Stan: And in regards to fracking, 341 00:12:36,210 --> 00:12:37,910 what did you mean when you said 342 00:12:38,080 --> 00:12:41,120 "Unprotected fracking is fine if they look clean"? 343 00:12:41,220 --> 00:12:43,990 Stan, can I see you in my office? 344 00:12:44,790 --> 00:12:46,090 We got this 345 00:12:46,190 --> 00:12:47,530 As long as he doesn't have one of those 346 00:12:47,630 --> 00:12:49,170 Matt Lauer desk buttons. 347 00:12:49,300 --> 00:12:51,340 Dilquez: All right. Who sent you? 348 00:12:51,400 --> 00:12:52,770 The opposition, the news? 349 00:12:52,840 --> 00:12:53,980 Is your cape a camera? 350 00:12:54,080 --> 00:12:56,250 That's actually very plush. 351 00:12:56,380 --> 00:12:57,180 Who makes this? 352 00:12:57,320 --> 00:12:59,420 I just want to be an informed voter. 353 00:12:59,520 --> 00:13:01,190 Why? The system is what it is, 354 00:13:01,290 --> 00:13:03,560 and we just choose a new bozo to pop at the top, 355 00:13:03,660 --> 00:13:05,060 and I want to stay that bozo. 356 00:13:05,170 --> 00:13:06,700 I'll give you whatever you want to stop 357 00:13:06,830 --> 00:13:08,840 this informed nonsense. 358 00:13:08,910 --> 00:13:11,210 Now, this is real politics, Stanatee! 359 00:13:11,280 --> 00:13:13,850 Greased palms and backdoor deals! 360 00:13:13,950 --> 00:13:16,790 Tell him we want arson legalized. 361 00:13:16,860 --> 00:13:18,590 Kang: Mayor, we need to talk. 362 00:13:18,660 --> 00:13:19,830 Your goose is reading, 363 00:13:19,960 --> 00:13:21,600 committing random acts of violence, 364 00:13:21,700 --> 00:13:22,970 and ruining my work vibe. 365 00:13:23,100 --> 00:13:24,800 Look. I've got an election to win, 366 00:13:24,970 --> 00:13:26,980 and what do children love most? 367 00:13:27,080 --> 00:13:28,440 Summers: Macaroni. Wynona: Ritualistic violence. 368 00:13:28,550 --> 00:13:30,110 Dilquez: Talking animals, 369 00:13:30,210 --> 00:13:32,090 so I went on the dark web and got the goose, 370 00:13:32,150 --> 00:13:34,020 one of those limitless pills from that movie, 371 00:13:34,120 --> 00:13:35,860 but I worried it might not be real 372 00:13:35,990 --> 00:13:37,600 because, you know, it's just a movie, 373 00:13:37,730 --> 00:13:38,900 so I also gave him some 374 00:13:39,000 --> 00:13:41,000 CPH4 pills from the movie "Lucy," 375 00:13:41,070 --> 00:13:42,510 a few red pills from "The Matrix," 376 00:13:42,570 --> 00:13:45,910 and everything they took in "The Wolf of Wall Street." 377 00:13:45,980 --> 00:13:48,890 So you made a "Limitless" "Lucy" talking goose? 378 00:13:48,990 --> 00:13:51,320 Khaleesi: A talking goose? 379 00:13:51,490 --> 00:13:54,060 [Cheering] 380 00:13:55,370 --> 00:13:56,500 Called it. 381 00:14:04,620 --> 00:14:06,020 Flute: The Grimsburg Piescraper, 382 00:14:06,150 --> 00:14:07,760 the pie factory in the sky that the mayor built 383 00:14:07,860 --> 00:14:09,030 after misunderstanding what it meant 384 00:14:09,160 --> 00:14:11,030 to promise voters that very thing. 385 00:14:11,130 --> 00:14:12,770 Martinez: I can't believe we have to work for that idiot. 386 00:14:12,900 --> 00:14:14,470 Flute: Now you know how I feel. 387 00:14:14,570 --> 00:14:17,740 [Goose honking] 388 00:14:17,810 --> 00:14:19,050 Honk. 389 00:14:19,110 --> 00:14:20,680 Martinez: Here, Mother Goose! Come on! 390 00:14:20,780 --> 00:14:22,120 There you go! 391 00:14:22,190 --> 00:14:23,920 We're like the same size, same size, same team. 392 00:14:23,990 --> 00:14:25,260 Flute: No, no, no, come to me. 393 00:14:25,330 --> 00:14:27,060 I've got a pocket full of scratch-offs 394 00:14:27,160 --> 00:14:29,030 I can't tell if I won and this sandwich 395 00:14:29,130 --> 00:14:30,900 somebody wouldn't let me eat. 396 00:14:31,000 --> 00:14:32,770 Wait. Hey, little birdie honk honk. 397 00:14:32,840 --> 00:14:34,640 You like hoagie honk honk? 398 00:14:39,020 --> 00:14:40,450 Wait, Flute! Don't! 399 00:14:40,520 --> 00:14:42,560 I think that goose killed the guy at the drive-thru? 400 00:14:42,630 --> 00:14:45,500 Flute: Killer goose? Nice try. 401 00:14:45,570 --> 00:14:46,900 Ha! I win. 402 00:14:47,040 --> 00:14:49,310 Thank you, mayor's goose. 403 00:14:49,340 --> 00:14:52,780 Goose: Oh. I'm the mayor's goose? 404 00:14:52,910 --> 00:14:54,320 Flute: What's wrong, Martinez? 405 00:14:54,420 --> 00:14:56,820 Jealous the goose isn't asking you ominous questions? 406 00:14:56,920 --> 00:14:58,660 Agh! Talking goose. 407 00:14:58,830 --> 00:15:00,930 Now it all makes sense. 408 00:15:01,000 --> 00:15:02,330 The mayor made me. 409 00:15:02,500 --> 00:15:05,770 He is responsible for who I have become, 410 00:15:05,840 --> 00:15:07,940 and now he must take responsibility 411 00:15:08,010 --> 00:15:10,850 for what I must do. 412 00:15:10,920 --> 00:15:12,550 Martinez: What the-- 413 00:15:19,570 --> 00:15:20,800 [Wings flapping] 414 00:15:20,940 --> 00:15:22,270 Flute: Well, there goes our goose. 415 00:15:22,370 --> 00:15:24,680 Martinez: No, there goes our jobs. 416 00:15:24,780 --> 00:15:26,250 Starting to wish that was Bjork. 417 00:15:26,380 --> 00:15:28,450 Flute: Are you, though? Martinez: No. You're right. 418 00:15:33,160 --> 00:15:34,560 Martinez: The goose is headed to City Hall. 419 00:15:34,660 --> 00:15:35,670 To the stairs! 420 00:15:35,830 --> 00:15:36,870 Flute: Stairs? There's no time. 421 00:15:36,970 --> 00:15:38,370 We have to jump. It's way faster. 422 00:15:38,470 --> 00:15:40,140 Look for a French café awning we can bounce off of. 423 00:15:40,210 --> 00:15:42,380 Yoooou doofus! [Poof] 424 00:15:42,510 --> 00:15:44,820 There she is. I thought I'd never see you again 425 00:15:44,880 --> 00:15:45,990 after you sold out. 426 00:15:46,090 --> 00:15:47,360 How did I sell out? 427 00:15:47,490 --> 00:15:48,890 Reading all your management books and wearing 428 00:15:48,990 --> 00:15:50,090 that stupid power suit. 429 00:15:50,230 --> 00:15:51,400 You look like you're cosplaying 430 00:15:51,530 --> 00:15:53,230 as a ladies' college basketball coach. 431 00:15:53,400 --> 00:15:55,070 You know what? I don't love this outfit either, 432 00:15:55,140 --> 00:15:56,610 but at least I don't look like I'm smuggling 433 00:15:56,740 --> 00:15:57,980 a basketball under my shirt. 434 00:15:58,110 --> 00:15:59,880 Really? A fat joke in this climate? 435 00:15:59,980 --> 00:16:02,520 Grow up. Oh, wait, you already tried that? 436 00:16:02,550 --> 00:16:05,120 -That's a short joke! -Those are still in play. 437 00:16:05,190 --> 00:16:06,630 No one's made a stink about those yet. 438 00:16:06,690 --> 00:16:09,400 Martinez: Speaking of stink... Flute: Don't you dare. 439 00:16:09,500 --> 00:16:12,740 This is Russell by Kurt for Kurt Russell Cologne, stupid. 440 00:16:12,840 --> 00:16:14,140 Martinez: Me stupid? You stupid! 441 00:16:14,280 --> 00:16:15,880 I thought the stupidest thing in town 442 00:16:16,010 --> 00:16:17,980 was the mayor's Piescraper until I met you. 443 00:16:18,050 --> 00:16:19,250 Flute: That's about the stupidest thing 444 00:16:19,390 --> 00:16:21,160 I've ever heard because everyone knows 445 00:16:21,260 --> 00:16:22,590 the stupidest thing in town is the mayor's zipline. 446 00:16:22,760 --> 00:16:24,030 Wait. What did you say? 447 00:16:24,130 --> 00:16:25,470 Flute: I said that's the stupidest thing 448 00:16:25,570 --> 00:16:26,400 I've ever heard. 449 00:16:26,570 --> 00:16:28,140 -No, the other thing. -Russell by Kurt? 450 00:16:28,240 --> 00:16:29,910 There was the basketball thing. Teeth? 451 00:16:30,010 --> 00:16:32,110 Martinez: No, the zip line. 452 00:16:36,150 --> 00:16:37,360 -I figured it out! -I said it first! 453 00:16:37,460 --> 00:16:39,130 No, you said it, but I put it together. 454 00:16:39,190 --> 00:16:40,430 How can you figure it out? It was my idea. 455 00:16:40,490 --> 00:16:42,000 -You're so sad. -You're mental. 456 00:16:42,060 --> 00:16:44,270 Goose, goose, goose, goose! 457 00:16:44,340 --> 00:16:46,040 All right. We're gonna have to pay off this kids. 458 00:16:46,170 --> 00:16:47,910 Cash, candy, and a sip of beer. 459 00:16:48,010 --> 00:16:49,180 You know the drill. 460 00:16:49,310 --> 00:16:51,480 Goose: Mayor Dilquez. 461 00:16:52,750 --> 00:16:54,160 [Cheering] 462 00:16:54,220 --> 00:16:57,960 Yes, yes. My gift to you, a talking goose. 463 00:16:58,060 --> 00:16:59,070 [Click] 464 00:16:59,200 --> 00:17:00,430 Please don't kill me. 465 00:17:00,570 --> 00:17:03,170 Goose: I cannot kill you because I need you. 466 00:17:03,310 --> 00:17:06,620 Where once I was happy to eat moss and bugs in a lake, 467 00:17:06,720 --> 00:17:11,090 now I look upon those joys with confusion and disdain. 468 00:17:11,190 --> 00:17:13,160 I dream of ignorance. 469 00:17:13,230 --> 00:17:15,230 Make me a goose again. 470 00:17:15,330 --> 00:17:17,540 Look, I wish I could change you back, 471 00:17:17,670 --> 00:17:18,910 but I just can't. 472 00:17:19,040 --> 00:17:21,010 They didn't make a movie called "Limitless Less." 473 00:17:21,080 --> 00:17:23,550 [Whooshing] 474 00:17:23,680 --> 00:17:24,720 Flute: Hands up! 475 00:17:24,780 --> 00:17:26,320 Feathers up? Wings? 476 00:17:26,390 --> 00:17:28,930 Goose: Change me back, or he gets it. 477 00:17:29,030 --> 00:17:30,190 Oh, yeah, goose? 478 00:17:30,260 --> 00:17:32,230 Well, two can play at that game. 479 00:17:32,370 --> 00:17:34,670 Put your gun down, or she gets it. 480 00:17:34,770 --> 00:17:35,770 Harmony: Oh, OK. 481 00:17:35,840 --> 00:17:37,010 [Murmuring] 482 00:17:37,110 --> 00:17:39,210 Why? She means nothing to me. 483 00:17:39,280 --> 00:17:41,220 Flute: Join the club. She means nothing to me, too. 484 00:17:41,250 --> 00:17:43,020 I mean, she used to before she got all boring 485 00:17:43,120 --> 00:17:44,460 and started dressing like Pat Summitt. 486 00:17:44,520 --> 00:17:47,360 Martinez: Wait. Used to? What do you mean by that? 487 00:17:47,500 --> 00:17:50,840 -Elaborate. -I would never. 488 00:17:50,970 --> 00:17:52,070 How about now? 489 00:17:52,210 --> 00:17:53,540 [Indistinct chatter] 490 00:17:53,640 --> 00:17:55,210 Flute: Fine. Ever since I lost this promotion, 491 00:17:55,340 --> 00:17:57,050 I feel like I've lost my best enemy. 492 00:17:57,120 --> 00:17:58,620 I miss us. 493 00:17:58,690 --> 00:18:00,490 Martinez: So you're not jealous that I'm the chief? 494 00:18:00,560 --> 00:18:02,360 Flute: No. I just want you to be a detective again 495 00:18:02,430 --> 00:18:04,400 so we can go back to spiting each other as equals. 496 00:18:04,500 --> 00:18:06,940 Everything is weird now. Not like you'd care. 497 00:18:07,000 --> 00:18:08,370 Martinez: Maybe I do! 498 00:18:08,440 --> 00:18:09,940 Flute: Then prove it, hotshot. 499 00:18:10,010 --> 00:18:11,280 [Murmuring] 500 00:18:11,410 --> 00:18:13,150 Martinez: OK, fine. I miss it, too. 501 00:18:13,250 --> 00:18:14,850 My love language is hate, 502 00:18:14,950 --> 00:18:17,020 but there's nothing we can do! 503 00:18:17,160 --> 00:18:18,860 Flute: Why not? We--wait. 504 00:18:19,030 --> 00:18:20,190 I think I need the gun again. 505 00:18:20,290 --> 00:18:21,730 Summers: You can have mine. 506 00:18:21,830 --> 00:18:23,000 Martinez: No. We're good. 507 00:18:23,130 --> 00:18:25,240 -Why not? -Because I'm your boss now. 508 00:18:25,340 --> 00:18:26,870 I can't fight with you anymore. 509 00:18:27,010 --> 00:18:28,010 Can't you see that? 510 00:18:28,140 --> 00:18:29,350 Kang: Enough! 511 00:18:29,410 --> 00:18:31,050 Can't you see that fighting is what 512 00:18:31,120 --> 00:18:32,590 makes you both better? 513 00:18:32,690 --> 00:18:34,990 Martinez: We have no idea what you're talking about. 514 00:18:35,020 --> 00:18:37,230 Kang: How about now, punks? 515 00:18:37,300 --> 00:18:39,230 Khaleesi: Whoa! What's going on actually? 516 00:18:39,300 --> 00:18:40,700 Flute: He's right. Once we started fighting, 517 00:18:40,770 --> 00:18:42,870 we figured out how to get off that Piescraper, 518 00:18:43,010 --> 00:18:44,780 but if we can't fight anymore, 519 00:18:44,880 --> 00:18:46,580 then I'm done with this... 520 00:18:46,650 --> 00:18:50,050 and the this I'm referring to is living. 521 00:18:50,190 --> 00:18:51,420 [All gasp] 522 00:18:51,490 --> 00:18:53,230 Martinez: No, Flute! Don't do it! 523 00:18:53,330 --> 00:18:54,900 I know everything seems different 524 00:18:55,000 --> 00:18:56,330 now, but--but-- 525 00:18:56,400 --> 00:19:00,170 Goose: But nothing... has changed. 526 00:19:00,310 --> 00:19:01,740 -What? -Just because someone 527 00:19:01,840 --> 00:19:05,180 is different does not mean everything must change. 528 00:19:05,280 --> 00:19:06,850 Even though I am now all knowing, 529 00:19:06,990 --> 00:19:10,260 it does not mean I cannot still be a goose and eat breadcrumbs 530 00:19:10,330 --> 00:19:13,840 or lunge at an unsupervised toddler in the park. 531 00:19:15,140 --> 00:19:17,310 So just because she's my boss... 532 00:19:17,410 --> 00:19:20,680 Doesn't mean we can't hate each other. 533 00:19:22,490 --> 00:19:24,320 Flute: I hate you, always will. 534 00:19:24,390 --> 00:19:26,090 Martinez: And I wish you had pulled that trigger 535 00:19:26,190 --> 00:19:28,060 and killed yourself...doofus. 536 00:19:28,160 --> 00:19:29,830 All: Aw! 537 00:19:30,000 --> 00:19:34,080 No. By the power vested in me by the hard-working children 538 00:19:34,210 --> 00:19:36,580 of this city, I hereby pardon him 539 00:19:36,720 --> 00:19:39,090 because I cannot kill the goose that lays 540 00:19:39,220 --> 00:19:42,590 the golden egg of truth. 541 00:19:42,760 --> 00:19:45,060 I guess the only thing that I really care about 542 00:19:45,130 --> 00:19:47,800 in politics is compassion. 543 00:19:50,470 --> 00:19:52,980 Khaleesi: O.M. God. He's crying? 544 00:19:53,110 --> 00:19:54,920 What a loser baby. 545 00:19:54,980 --> 00:19:58,220 I know this will end my time as a popular sixth grader, 546 00:19:58,360 --> 00:20:00,660 but that loser baby is my baby, 547 00:20:00,760 --> 00:20:04,700 and I am so mother, his mother, a mother. 548 00:20:04,770 --> 00:20:06,940 I don't even know if I'm saying any of this right, 549 00:20:07,080 --> 00:20:08,180 but you know what? 550 00:20:08,280 --> 00:20:09,910 I don't care. 551 00:20:11,750 --> 00:20:15,730 Khaleesi: Not caring? That is so father. 552 00:20:18,500 --> 00:20:20,300 Dispatch: Body found at the corner of Diane Lane 553 00:20:20,400 --> 00:20:21,540 and Peekaboo Street. 554 00:20:21,640 --> 00:20:24,840 -Team, let's move! -I'm on the case! 555 00:20:25,010 --> 00:20:26,150 Wynona: Uh-oh. 556 00:20:26,280 --> 00:20:27,380 Are Mom and Dad gonna fight? 557 00:20:27,480 --> 00:20:29,720 Nope. Good job today, numbnuts. 558 00:20:29,820 --> 00:20:32,730 It's actually numbnut, and thank you. 559 00:20:32,830 --> 00:20:35,400 Vibes so good I don't even have to check. 560 00:20:35,530 --> 00:20:37,900 Flute: Team, let's move. 561 00:20:38,000 --> 00:20:39,710 Take the lead, chief. 562 00:20:45,220 --> 00:20:46,890 Heh heh. 563 00:20:55,300 --> 00:20:56,440 Goose: And while I never consented 564 00:20:56,540 --> 00:20:58,480 to the changes thrust upon me, 565 00:20:58,550 --> 00:21:01,350 I now see that change often brings us 566 00:21:01,450 --> 00:21:03,490 into a new light. 567 00:21:05,120 --> 00:21:09,170 You know, like how they change the Batmans all the time. 568 00:21:09,270 --> 00:21:10,500 -Oh. -Ah. I see. 569 00:21:10,570 --> 00:21:12,910 Which is why today I announce 570 00:21:13,010 --> 00:21:15,410 my candidacy for mayor, 571 00:21:15,550 --> 00:21:20,760 and together, we will demand change. 572 00:21:23,630 --> 00:21:27,170 Now that's a cool promise--change. 573 00:21:27,300 --> 00:21:30,710 Can we go now? I'm so frickin' bored. 574 00:21:34,920 --> 00:21:35,820 Voice: Bento. 41305

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