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So, I think
it might be the alternator.

So, what do we do now?

It'll be dark soon.

We might as well
camp here tonight.

Come on.

♪

Is this gonna make us late
to Camp Trustfall?

Um, it depends.

It depends on when we get
the truck up and running.

We're definitely
not gonna be there early.

I don't know, I just
don't wanna get yelled at.

I'm sure
Bob would understand.

I mean,
I'm not talking about Bob.

I'm talking about
Miss Crowell.

Like,
she's a mean old witch.

I'd rather deal
with Miss Crowell.

Roger--
that dude's a spazz.

Terry, I think someone's
trying to take the truck.

Stay here,
I'll be right back.

Ugh, fuck...

♪

♪

Fuck.

Hi.

Son of a bitch
must've ran off.

Well, maybe-- maybe we
shouldn't stay here tonight.

Hey, it's fine.

Whoever--
Whoever it is ran off,

and we have
nowhere else to go tonight.

Well...

what if--
what if he comes back?

Well,
that's what this is for.

♪

-Terry.
-What?

Terry,
someone's outside the tent.

-Huh?
-Listen.

Is it raining?

Shit! That's gas!

♪

♪

♪

Do we really
have to do this?

Why do we have to babysit
a bunch of kids all summer?

Will you just relax?

I used to have a lot of fun
at this camp when I was a kid.

This summer
is going to be great.

You'll see.

You were ten, Tiff.
It's not the same thing.

Do I look like I want to
go to a summer camp?

No.
Kimberly wants to party.

Well,
there's gonna be boys there.

Ugh, boys and men,

because if they look
anything like Ricky Stephens,

I'm gonna barf.

Just chill out, okay?

There's gonna be
plenty of nice guys at camp.

Nice isn't exactly
what I'm looking for.

We better
have some fun this summer.

We will.

Hey, can you pull over

there at the store, please?

We're already
running late, Kim.

I'm dying for a drink.

Fine.

Go get me a soda,
will you?

No way.
Go get your own soda.

I'm sorry, who's dragging
who across the state

to go
to her childhood summer camp?

I think the least
you can do is grab me a drink

while I enjoy
my final moments of freedom.

Fine.

Hello?

Hello?

Oh, yeah, great.
Fantastic, okay.

Ooh.

That's great.

Hello?

-Hello?

Can I get
some service, please?

-Gotcha!
-Oh, my God!

-That is not funny, Kim. Are--
-What's the matter?

You having trouble
getting serviced?

No,
there's just nobody here.

Yeah, there is.

I saw
a guy through the window

after you came in here.

-Are you serious?
-Yeah.

He was
right back over there.

Come on, man.
Get off the can!

Let's go.

I tell you what.

My friend Tiffany here
will show you her tits

if you come out
right now!

Oh, my God,
are you serious?

Stop.
What if he heard you?

That's the idea,
you got a better one?

Hey, guy.

My friend
will give you a handjob

if you come out
right now!

Oh, my God.
No, shut up. Seriously.

-She thinks you're cute!
-Stop.

-I'll give her your number!
-Please stop, please stop.

-Just stop. Just stop.
-Well--

I'm tired of waiting.
Can we just go?

We still have to pay.

You don't want to be late
for your precious

Camp Trustfall orientation,
do you?

No.

But we can't leave
without paying.

Fine, leave the money
on the counter.

But... what about my change?

Screw the change,
let's just go.

-What a creep.
-What?

The guy's looking at us

through
the window right now.

Should I--
should I turn around?

Ugh. No, that guy's a weirdo.

Okay.

Holy shit.

♪

Well, fuck you, then!

♪

Hey,
I'm sorry about that.

I've been
on the road a long time.

Thank you
for picking me up.

♪

♪

So, who we waiting for?

The three new counselors.

Three new faces,
that's so exciting!

And... Michael.

Deturris?
You have to be shittin' me.

I thought he was too old
to be a counselor.

Yeah.

I had to do something.

With what happened
with Terry and Amy,

we were
gonna be short staffed.

Yeah,
that was pretty horrible.

But, I mean,
who would put their tent

so close
to the fire?

Well, at least
we're fully staffed this year.

Not exactly.

One of the new counselors
is in a wheelchair.

Jesus Christ, Bob.

I mean, how's he gonna
get around here?

Shove him in a closet

until the end of summer
for all I care.

Whatever.
I'll handle it.

You're damn right
you will.

♪ He's got no money
'cause he's got no job ♪

♪ Fuck it, man ♪

♪ He's got no friends
'cause a he's drunken slob ♪

♪ Fuck it ♪

♪ He's got a hell of a life ♪

♪ With his wife ♪

♪ Fuck it ♪

♪ And if he can,
he'll get drunk tonight ♪

♪ He's got the answers
to the problems... ♪

Call Todd over here.

Todd! C'mere!

Mr. Lahey.

Roger.

It's good
to see you guys again.

Michelle...

pleasure as always.

Can it, Michael.

Glad to have you
back with us.

-Thanks, Bob.
-Yo, Mikey!

Hey, what's up, bro?

-Good to see you, man.
-Hell yeah!

Didn't know
you were coming back this year.

Dude, are you kidding me?

This place
couldn't run without me.

Um, through a series
of unfortunate events,

Mr. Deturris
is with us for one more year,

but one more year only.

I hope you're ready
for another exciting summer!

Hell yeah, I am.

Hey, I heard we got some, uh,
fresh meat this summer.

-That right?
-Yeah.

Uh, no fraternizing
with the new counselors,

-Mr. Deturris.
-Come on, Michelle.

You know you're my one
and only, my belle.

It's Miss Crowell,
smart ass.

So, uh, who else
we got this year?

Oh, we got Zach
and Hampton in cabin five.

Are you kidding me? Zach?

Not that asshole again.

Hey, watch your fucking
language, Mr. Deturris.

Zach.

Zach is a vital part
of our campers'

physical fitness
and sports programs.

He's also
a, uh, dick with ears.

I'm sorry.
What was that, Michael?

Zack, I'm sorry, man.
I must have, uh--

must have seen you
standing there.

-Is that right?
-Yeah.

Hey, Bob,
when are you gonna give me

some real help
around here, huh?

These two are nothing
but a bunch of slackers.

-Look at 'em.
-Hmm.

They're just here
for the free ride.

That's why
I'm so drawn to his mom.

You better
shut the fuck up!

-Cut it out!
-I'll fucking wreck you.

-Get off me, hey, come on!
-Wanna go?

-Will you guys cut it out?
-Prick.

Todd and Michael

are favorites
among our young campers.

Yeah, well, let me explain
something to you.

This right here?

It's not
a popularity contest.

It's about
getting the kids in shape.

Dude, they're kids.

They come to summer camp
to have fun and make friends.

You know, that's the exact
kind of mentality

that'll have them
looking like you

-instead of looking like me.
-Is that right?

Last thing any of us want
is more of him walking around.

Gentlemen,

I believe two of
our new counselors are here.

-Hi.
-Hello, ladies.

You must be
Tiffany and Kimberly.

Yeah, hi, I'm Tiffany,
and this is Kim.

I'm Bob Lahey,
the camp owner.

-Hi.
-This is Michelle and Roger.

-Hi.
-And some

of our returning counselors.

I want you
to show them around.

Get them acquainted
with everything.

We're supposed to have
a third new counselor,

but I don't know
where he's at.

Hey! Hey, guys.
I'm comin', guys.

What is that?

Looks like Meals on Wheels.

Speak of the devil.

That would be Donnie,

our other new counselor.

Bob,
I found him by the gate.

I'm assuming
he belongs to you.

Sorry I'm late. My dad dropped
me off at the end of the road.

-I'm Bob Lahey, the camp owner.
-Oh, nice to meet you, Bob.

This is Michelle.

If you need anything,
you go see her.

Do not come to me.

He's our new counselor?

You got be shitting me.

For those of you
that do not know,

this is Miss Victoria Parker,
our account director.

Please make sure
you see her today

if you want to
get paid.

Hi, everyone.

I need your IDs

and for you
to fill out a form for payroll.

And, Bob,
if you have a moment,

I need to
speak with you.

Well,
I'd love to stay and chat,

but I have
a lot of work to do.

I'm gonna leave you
in very capable hands

with Michelle and Roger.

It was
really nice meeting you.

See you, Bob.

Roger,
I have to go run a camp.

They're all yours.

That's not how this works,
Michelle!

You're not my boss!

We're supposed to be
a team, remember?

Co-camp director!

Poor Roger.
She's never gonna respect you.

Nobody's gonna respect
the fun-police over here.

He's only co-camp director
'cause he's Lahey's cousin.

Don't listen to him, Roger.

You got this, man.

Well, like it or not,
Zach, I'm in charge.

And I know we're gonna
have a great time this summer,

so we're gonna have to
all learn to get along.

Now, moving on, ladies.

You're gonna find we have
a great time here at camp.

But one thing
we're pretty strict on

is being on time.

Yes, sir.

Yes, sir.

Great.

Todd, Michael.

You go ahead
and show the girls around.

Zach,

you got Donnie.

What?

-No.
-Sorry, Zach.

I'm in charge, remember?

Just drop it right here.

Yeah.

All right, ladies,
this is your cabin.

So, one of you
take the one on the left,

the other the right,

and the nurse's station
is right down the trail here.

Then right next to that
is the mess hall.

By the way,
watch out for Larry, the cook.

That dude's
a huge pervert.

Okay, so what are we supposed
to do after we unpack?

Miss Crowell
didn't really say.

What are
you guys doing?

I'm checking the canoes

and making sure
they're not all messed up.

I have to check
the zip line and the rock wall.

You guys
want some company?

-Sure, yeah.
-Tell you what.

I'll go with Michael

and Tiffany here,

you can go
with Todd.

Yeah, um,

would you guys
give us a couple minutes

to put
our stuff away?

-Sure.
-Yeah.

Okay. Come on.

-Oh, I got it, thank you.
-Sure.

Heh.

-Ow!

What was that for?

What are you doing?

What?

-You know what.

Oh, come on.

I could tell you like Todd

and I won't hate Michael.

How can I like him?

I don't even know him.

And how can you
get to know him

if you're not
around him?

Okay, well, you know
I didn't come here to hook up.

Ugh, come on, Tiff.

Listen,
you promised me boys.

You dragged me
all the way out here.

You said
we're gonna have fun.

I'm gonna loosen up.

I need you
to loosen up, too.

I can't.

This job,
it's too important to me.

And I don't want to
get distracted by a guy.

Look, can we please
just go find Miss Crowell

and find out what
we're supposed to be doing?

Fine.

You unpack.

I'll let the guys know
we're not coming.

Thank you.

All set?

Did Kim leave already?

Oh, yeah,
she's left with Mike.

Of course she did.

Something wrong?

No, no,
everything's fine.

Your friend tricked you,
didn't she?

How did you know?

Mike does it to me
all the time.

-Really?
-Yeah.

But he means well.

It's not that I didn't want

to hang out with you,
you know.

It's just that I really
don't want to mess this up.

And my friend,

all she cares about
are guys.

That's okay.
I get it.

My friend's
the same way.

Mike doesn't take things
too seriously.

Well,
it sounds like your friend

and my friend
are perfect for each other.

Maybe. Listen.

You don't have to
help me.

I can take you
to Mrs. Parker's office

it's right up the way.

I know where it is.

I used to go
to camp here as a kid.

Hmm. I been coming here since
I was 14.

-How come I've never seen you?
-Well,

I haven't been here
since I was 12.

You know, after my parents
got divorced, they just...

-stopped sending me.
-Hmm.

I'm sorry to hear that.

It's fine.

You know, it's kind of
the opposite for me.

Yeah, I swear
my old man sent me here

just to
get rid of me.

But it all
worked out, though.

I mean, I met Mike and...

this place is
a lot better than my home life.

Yeah.

I really
missed it here.

-Yeah.
-Hey,

do you guys
still tell the kids

that creepy camp legend?

Legend? What legend?

Like, you know,

every camp has one,

and it's literally
always the same.

Some vengeful camper
coming back

and taking revenge
on the camp, you know?

Mm, never heard o' that one.

-Really?
-Mm-mm.

Huh.

I guess not everything
is the way I remember it.

I wouldn't worry
about it too much.

I'm sure all the best parts
are all still the same.

Yeah.

Well, hey,
I'm gonna go find out

what Miss Parker
wants me to do.

Sure.
Yeah, yeah, I, uh--

-guess I'll catch you later.
-Okay.

-See ya.
-See ya.

♪

Are you okay?

Yeah, I'm fine.

He's fine.

Well, help me get him up.

So, put your arms around me,
there you go.

One, two, three.

-Thanks.
-You're welcome.

Oh, here.
Are these yours?

Uh, yeah.
Those are mine.

No, it happens
more than you think.

Just get some Krazy Glue.

I have, like,
a extra pair, too.

-It's fine. Yeah.
-Oh, okay. Good.

Caught this little creep

looking through my window
while I was changing.

I was not looking.

I thought
this was my cabin.

I thought Zach
was showing you around.

He was.
Kind of.

He brought me here
and then left.

Zach told you
this was your cabin?

Yeah.

What kind of person
would do such a thing?

Who the hell
are you?

Hi.
Yeah, I'm Tiffany.

I'm one of
the new counselors.

Todd was
just showing me around,

and then I heard the scream,
and so I came.

-Todd was showing you around?
-Yeah.

-I didn't know he was here yet.
-Yeah.

You know,
he's really sweet.

Are you two friends?

We're a little more
than friends.

Remember that.

-Oh.
-You know what?

Why don't you help me
find my cabin?

You know what?
That is great.

Why don't you take Wheels
to go find his cabin

and I'll go find
my boyfriend, Todd?

You know.
Yeah, I-- I can do that.

Um, that way you two
can catch up and--

Look, I really didn't mean
to imply that--

Great. Carry on.

Wow.

So, Donnie, is this
your first time at camp?

Yeah, first time.

-Yeah?
-Yeah.

That's awesome.

Well, I hope you have
a really great summer.

Also, I know
it's gonna be a little hard,

you know,
being in a wheelchair and all,

but I want you to know

that I'll help you
in any way I can.

Ah. Well, thanks.

I, uh, get to be around
beautiful girl all summer,

so, uh, can't get that
at my apartment.

You're very sweet.

Oh, fuck.

You should just
slow down this shit, man.

If you fall
on the fucking floor,

I'm gonna
leave you there.

Joe, chill out,
all right?

I got to fucking deal

with these little
fucking shit bags all day.

This is the only thing
that gets me through

without putting a bullet
through my fucking brain.

Oh, yeah, well,
that's the kind

of positive attitude
I like to hear from our cook.

Hey.

How you doin', Michelle?

Uh, yeah, no, um,

you're looking
lovely today.

Save the flattery, Larry.

I don't know
why Mr. Lahey

insists on
hiring you every year,

but you
fuck up one time,

I'm going to throw
your ass out of here

and you won't even know
what's happening.

Uh, look, Michelle,
that was the old Larry.

This is the new Larry.
New and improved, right?

I'm a reformed man.
You're gonna see.

I'm gonna be employee
of the month here.

You're gonna
be proud of me.

Get back to work.

Fucking shit
all over the counter.

Clean it up.
Straighten out, Larry.

♪

♪

This is so boring.

Well, you know,
it would go a lot quicker

if I, uh, had
a little help over here.

Ugh,
canoes aren't exactly my thing.

Well, you can at least,
you know, talk to me.

Keep me company.

Listen here, Mike.

You seem like
a nice guy,

but I was only trying
to help my girl Tiffany

get some alone time
with your friend.

-A nice guy.
-Yeah.

You're kind of a dweeb.
Not exactly "cool."

What do you
consider cool, then?

I'm more of a partier.
Like, smoke.

-All right.

-Come with me, then.
-Wait.

Where are we going?

Oh, you'll see
when we get there.

-Hey, guys.
-Jesus! What the hell?

You mind
knocking next time?

Um, I did knock.
You just couldn't hear me...

... over this junk
you were listening to.

-Who's this?
-It's Kimberly.

She's, uh,
new at camp this year.

-Hey.
-Hi, I'm Stacy.

I'm Hampton.

Kimberly here.
She, uh-- she likes to party.

-Oh, yeah?
-But, uh,

she thinks that
because we're camp counselors,

that we don't know
how to party.

Oh, wait,
wait, wait, wait.

You guys smoke?

What the hell else
do you think we do around here?

I could kiss you!

♪

Oh, hey, come on in.
I'll just be a minute.

♪

Oh, it's you.
Did you forget something?

-Oh!

Hey, uh, Cornbread.

Why don't you go

and, uh, alphabetize
the soup cans or something?

The hell are you talking about?

We don't do anything
with the cans.

Well, then why don't you go
take my fucking mayonnaise

in the back
and stir it?

All right,
I'll stir your damn mayonnaise.

Bitch...

Hey, look,
I'm really sorry about that.

It's just hard
to find good help

out in the woods,
you know?

So, uh, what's your name there,
sugar lips?

-It's Tiffany.
-Tiffany.

-That is a beautiful name.
-Thanks.

I guess you're one
of the new counselors here,

-huh, Tiffany?
-Yeah.

it's actually
my first year as a counselor,

but, um, I went to a camp here
when I was a kid.

You don't really look
old enough to be a counselor.

Well, I'm 20, so...

You ever been with
an older man, Tiffany?

Can I just
get my food, please?

Yeah, sure.

That should fill up that
tight little belly of yours.

But look, Tiffany, uh,

you ever get hungry in
the middle of the night or...

horny, and, uh,

you need a little
something extra?

Walk on down
to-- to old Larry's cabin.

And, uh, he'll, uh,

put a nice,
big piece of meat

in that
tight little body of yours.

-Hey, little girl.

I'm talking to you.

You don't want to
go fucking with

the man who makes
your food now, do you?

Hey. Needle Dick.
Leave my friend alone.

Ain't no reason
to go throwing insults around.

I'm just, uh, talking nice
to the pretty little lady.

Next time
you get friendly with her,

I'll castrate your ass.

Hey, you listen here,
you little bitch.

Nobody comes into my kitchen
and threatens me.

I was
three tours in 'Nam

and I'll snap
your neck like a fucking twig!

-Can I get my food now?
-You want some fucking food?

I'll give you
some fucking food.

-Bye!
-Come on, Tiff.

You don't come into
this fucking kitchen

talking shit.

Hey, Jeff,
whose kitchen is this?

It's Andrew.
Andrew Blocker.

Goddammit, Jeff,
I got you this job,

and I can
take it away!

Whose fucking kitchen
is it?

It's your kitchen.

Just leave me alone.

Fucking Larry's kitchen.
Larry's fucking kitchen.

Larry's fucking kitchen!

Hey, Tiffany.

Oh, hey, Donnie!

Did you make friends
with that cripple kid?

Cut it out, Kim.

Hey, Donnie is really sweet.

Mind if I sit
with you guys?

Yeah, of course!

Boy, that cook
is not a nice guy.

You have no idea.

Why?
Did he do something?

What are you
gonna do about it, Romeo?

-Run him over?
-For real, Kim?

-Cut it out.
-What? Look at him.

Brain power,
a lot stronger physical power.

Some of the greatest villains
in comic book history

are weaker than
their superhero counterparts.

But doesn't the hero
always end up beating them?

Seriously, cut it out.

God.

Hey. Tiffany.

-Hey. Um, I'm really sorry.
-Hey.

Look, uh,

I was wondering
if I could talk to you

about Felicia.

Todd,
who's that guy over there?

What, Marche?

He keeps
staring at me.

Oh, he's just
the groundskeeper.

I think
he's a little slow, but...

he's harmless.

Why do you
call him Marche?

That's his name.
Uh, Alain Marche.

Okay. I'm-- I'm-- I'm sorry.

What about Felicia?

Oh, right.
Uh, yeah.

Kind of
wanted to explain.

Me and her dated briefly
last summer.

And...

I kind of ended it
once I realized

what type
of person she was.

I don't understand
why you're telling me this.

You just--
You seem like a good person.

I just didn't--

I didn't want her to chase
you off, that's all.

Okay.

Um...

-She won't.
-Good.

So, uh,

guess
I'll see you around.

Okay. I guess.

Well, take care.

Bye.

Girl!

You must've gave him
one hell of a first impression.

Did you blow him?

What?
Are you serious?

That boy
is so into you!

Seems more like
constipation to me.

-Guys.

We are just friends.

-What are you talking about?
-Oh, Tiffany!

I don't want her
chasing you away!

What a nerd!

-Oh, come on.
-All right, guys.

He seems
perfect for you.

Cut it out, seriously.

Todd seems like an
all right guy and everything,

but she hardly
knows him.

I mean, she should keep
her options open

until she gets
to know everyone.

Zach!

What do you want?
I'm busy.

Bob wants to see you.

Well,
he's gonna have to wait.

Now, Zach.

Like I don't have
enough to do today.

You got to come
and bother me now, too, huh?

Why don't you go
find Michael or Todd?

I'm sure those guys
aren't doing anything.

-Hey!
-What?

I'm not the one
who wanted to see you.

Bob is, and he asked
to see you specifically.

Zach, you asshole.

Bob, what is it?

Kind of in the middle
of something.

Sit down, Zach.

Did you take that kid,
Donnie, to the wrong cabin?

What?

-No.
-Really?

Because everyone
is telling me

you took him
to Felicia's cabin.

Bob,
it was close enough.

He could see
the fucking cabin.

I'm sure you know

that not many people
around here like you.

Hey, man,
it's no skin off my nuts.

Zach, I go to bat
for you every year

because
you've never done any wrong.

-Well, thank you, Bob.
-Until now.

You've really
stepped in some shit,

and now
you're gonna have to eat it.

Felicia Fowler complained
about being spied on,

and you caused
that crippled kid

to get knocked out
of his wheelchair.

Look, Bob--

So, starting now,
I'm putting you in charge

of Donnie's well-being
for the rest of the summer.

Bob, you can't do that.
That's not fair.

I don't want to hear it.

If that kid
breaks both his arms,

you'll be the one
wiping his ass.

Do you understand me?

Yes, sir.

-Hey, Tiffany.
-Oh, hey, Donnie.

All right, I'll come
back to get you in an hour.

Wait, you're not gonna
stay and hang out, man?

Oh, you-- you want me
to come hang out with you?

Yeah, man.
We're friends.

I am not
your fucking friend!

Later, losers.
I'mma go work out.

-See ya, Zach!
-Fuck off, Donnie.

He's such a kidder.

So, Donnie, I'd also
like you to meet Stacy,

and over here
is Hampton.

Hey Stacy,
hey, Hamilton.

-Hampton.
-Oh, sorry.

So, wait.

How do you go
to the bathroom in that thing?

Do you have to
sit down to pee?

Yeah.

Do you have,
um, feeling, like...

down there?

Oh, my God,
you guys.

Donnie, you don't have to
answer any of that.

You don't have to
stand up for me.

I've--
I've got tough skin.

Well, Donnie,

I think
you're a stand-up guy.

What?

He said he's got tough skin.
He can take a joke.

Well, I would, uh, give you
a standing ovation if I could.

It looks like

that, uh, joke got off
on the, uh, wrong foot.

-Yeah.
-Yep.

So, Kimberly, you know

it's camp tradition
for all the new counselors

to go skinny dipping
on their first night at camp.

-Not happening.
-Oh, come on.

You don't want to break
camp tradition now, do you?

I think you
just want to see me naked.

Look, I swear.
Ask Todd.

Yeah, that's,
uh, not a thing.

Damn it, man.

So, Tiffany, you've been
talking about some type of--

what was it, a legend earlier
or something like that?

I mean, yeah, there was this,
um-- this camp legend

that they used
to tell us every year

when I used to
go to camp here.

Hey, Roger.

You ever hear
of any camp legend before?

No, never.
Tell us.

-Tell it.
-Okay.

So...

it goes
something like this.

Sometime ago,

there was
a boy here named Mikey.

He used to spy

on girls
when they were in the shower

and through their windows
when they were changing.

They even had
a nickname for him.

Mikey Mightsee.

So, one day,

he was spying on
two counselors having sex.

So, they decided
to teach him a lesson.

They took him to the woods
and tied him to a tree.

They meant to come back
an hour later to free him.

But they got high
and they forgot.

So...

they go back
in the morning to get him

and he's not there.

All that's left

is a blood-soaked tree.

Some say

that a wild animal
ate his face off.

And there are
some who believe

that he lurks
in these very woods

to this day,

waiting to get revenge!

Oh, my God!

We're just having a little fun.

Seriously, none of you heard
that story before, really?

Of course
we've heard the story.

We've all heard it.

And everyone knows

we don't tell that story
around here anymore.

The mask, Mr. Deturris.

Oh, Bob,
we were just playing around.

Everybody's heard it.

Actually, I haven't.

Oh, fuck off, Donnie.

Rules are rules.

I expect everyone
to follow them all the time.

Understood?

Yes, Mr. Lahey.

Roger,
for your part in this,

you got the early shift
in the morning.

Back to your cabin.

Yes, Bob.

Man, he took my mask
and the fun police.

So, look,
sorry about lying

about the whole
camp legend thing.

Honestly, it's cool.
I get it.

Well, look, I, uh--

I actually
got to get going.

Really? You're leaving?

Yeah.
Kind of important.

I have to
take care of it.

Okay.
Well, I'll see you tomorrow.

Yeah, totally.

Okay, bye.

-All right, Larry, we're out.
-Bye, Sugar bear.

Excuse me, Larry?

Could you turn off
the music there?

'Sup, bromie,
come down to do some coke?

No, uh, I just come to talk
to you about Tiffany.

So, what, she asked you
to fucking come down,

see if I'd go up there
and fuck her?

I actually just come by
and ask you to leave her alone.

Dude, she looks like
she's 17 years old.

Gonna fuck the shit
out of her in her ass.

Listen, Larry,
if you don't leave her alone,

I'm gonna
have to call Miss Crowell.

Ho, ho, hold on buddy,
there's no reason

to fucking involve
that bitch at all, right?

Look, I'll tell you
what we can do.

All right?
How about--

-How about I fuck you?

Or since you're so hot on
this little fucking girl,

how about I fuck her
and make you watch?

When I'm done, maybe I'll let
you smell my fucking fingers.

Come into my kitchen

and put your fucking
balls out like that?

How about we do this?

How about
I take that pretty fucking face

and put it
in that goddamn pot?

I'll serve you up

to those little
fucking bastards for lunch.

And get the fuck out of here,
you little motherfucker.

Before I fuck you, too.

Hey, Donnie.

I'm really sorry
about the jokes earlier.

It must
get pretty old, huh?

Nah,
it's just innocent jokes.

You know, when you
look like me,

kind of got to be
able to take a jab.

So, I try to see
the humor in all of it

and kind of fit in instead
of feeling bad about it.

What about you?

You're okay after messing
with you about that whole

camp legend thing?

Yeah, I'm fine.
It was a good prank.

But I'll
get them back.

Don't you worry.

Oookay!

What?
You don't think I can be scary?

I don't think
you'd be very good at it.

What? Why?

Is it
because I'm a girl?

Well, yeah.

Oh, my God.
You know what?

I don't think I like you
very much anymore.

Oh, oh, what was that
I just heard?

Oh, did you just say
that you like me?

Well,

I did,

but definitely not anymore.

Too pretty
to be scary anyway.

Now you're
just sucking up.

Hey, look, that whole
skinny dipping thing is true.

Todd was
just being a dick.

It's not happening.

Look,
you can't trick me,

but you can
bribe me.

Oh, really?

Yeah.

You get me
high again...

I'll probably do
all kinds of things.

I'm out.

Well, you're out of luck.

I can get more,
I just need to go see someone.

Well, when you get more,
then come see me.

Fuck.

It's getting late.
I think we should head out.

Okay.

Aw, you're leaving?

Yeah. You know what?
She's right.

It's late,
and I'm pretty tired.

But we barely
got to hang out.

Well,
we'll hang out tomorrow.

-All right, then.
-What about you?

Zach isn't here.

Michael can watch him.

Oh, come on!

Look, this bench
is hurting my ass.

You, uh,

want me to kiss it
and make it feel better?

You can watch it walk away
while you wait for Zach.

Fuck.
Deal.

-Goodnight, Donnie.
-Goodnight, Tiffany.

Where is
this douche bag anyway?

What did you
say about me, freak?

Were you just
lurking in the dark?

How sad
is your life that you have to

lurk in the shadows
to spy on me?

I wasn't lurking,
shithead,

so shut up
before I pound your face in.

Are you sure it's my face
you want to pound?

-What?
-Don't deny it.

I've seen
the way you look at me.

Now you're lurking
in the shadows,

talking about
how you want to pound me.

Hey, look, I get it, okay?
I'd fuck me, too.

If you say the word
"lurking" one more time,

I'll fucking murder you.

Those are tough words
coming from a meathead.

You're not worth it.

Let's go, retard.

I'm not retarded.
My legs just don't work.

Oh, really?
Let's check.

The hell
is wrong with you?

Oh, I'm sorry.

I didn't realize
you two were a couple.

Hey, I don't like Speed Racer
any more than you do,

but I'm not gonna punch
a cripple kid in a wheelchair.

What's the difference?
He didn't feel it.

Know what, man,
I'm gonna report you to Lahey.

Ooh, I'm so scared.

Why don't you
go back to lurking?

He's just jealous

'cause we were talking
to Tiffany and Kimberly

while he was
crying in the woods.

What'd you
say about me, limp-dick?

Busted, I knew you were
lurking in the shadows.

Did you just
say he was crying?

That's bullshit,
I was not crying.

You take that back, gimp,
or I'll rip your damn head off.

Hey, man,
you brought this on yourself.

All right.

But if either
of you two

say anything about
this to Mr. Lahey,

I will make
your lives a living hell.

Oh, fuck, yeah. Yeah. Oh, God.

Larry's gonna give you fucking
secret sauce,

you little bastards.

Oh, yeah, you fucking tell me
you're 20 years old,

I know you're only fucking 17.

Fucking naughty little bitch.

... tight little assholes.

What the fuck
do you want, asshole?

What you doing with that mask,
you're trying to scare me?

All that does is
make my fucking dick harder.

Look at that.
That's right.

You wanna
see something special?

Mommy.

-Where is he?

Who? I don't know.

Don't lie for him,
Cornelius.

I know that
you know exactly where he is.

Did he leave camp?
Huh? Where-- Where is he?

Is he in-- in a bar? In jail?
In a motel? Tell me now.

Mis-- Miss Crowell, I don't
know. He was here last night.

That's the last
I seen of him.

-You can ask Todd.
-Todd? To--

Yeah.

Todd.
Todd, come in here, please.

-Todd.
-Mm-hmm.

Do you see that
fucking piece of shit cook?

-Larry?
-Piece of shit?

-Nah, I haven't seen him.
-Oh, really?

Oh, you haven't seen him?

No, well, that's funny,
because Cornelius here says

that you were in the kitchen
last night and you saw him.

So, what
were you doing, huh?

Yeah, no, actually, uh,

I was actually
just coming by to see

what's for lunch today.

Oh, lunch. Really?
Really. That's it?

Yeah. Yeah.

Did he tell you
where he was going?

Uh, no. No, no, no, no.

Michael, did he tell you
where he was going?

He doesn't
tell me much.

Goddamn it.
Get-- Get the fuck out.

Just go, go. Go.

I'm done.

You know what, Cornelius?

I've had it.
Okay? I am done.

His ass is fucking toast.
He's out.

So, you know what?

Now you are
the head cook.

I will, uh, figure something
out. I'll get you a new team.

Yes, Miss Crowell.

Larry the cook
just got canned.

What? Are you serious?

That's awesome.
That guy was such a perv.

Hell yeah, he was.

And you can thank
our friend Todd,

the bad ass
over here for it.

-Really?
-No, no, no, no, no.

Hell yeah, man.
Come on.

Look,
after you told Todd

this stuff that Larry
said to you yesterday,

Todd went to have
a talk with him last night.

Next day,
Larry doesn't show up for work.

Did you really go
and talk to him for me?

Well, yeah.

Thank you.

No problem.

You know,

I was gonna say
something to that guy myself.

Oh, fuck off, Donnie.

Oh. Hi.

Hey.

-What is your damage?

Stay the hell

away from Todd.

Why?

Because he's mine.

You know,
you don't own him.

Stay the fuck
away from him.

-I'm warning you.
-Get off me.

You'll be sorry, bitch.

Michael! What's up, man?

Hey, Skunk.
What's up? How you been?

Oh, you know,
living the dream.

I hear that.

Kimberly,
this is Skunk.

Skunk,
this is Kimberly.

Your name is Skunk.
You look like a skunk.

Why, thank you.

And who's she?

Oh, this is my silent partner.
We call her Spider.

Dude.
That's your mom.

-Hi, Cheryl.
-Hi, Michael. How you been?

I'm good.

What are you
doing out here

driving Skunk
around on deals?

His shit box
broke down again.

Mom,
it's not a shit box!

It's a classic.

See, uh, Skunk here
has been my weed dealer

all eight years
of camp.

You have weed?

I won't have it 'til
tomorrow night at the earliest.

-Right, Mom?
-Wait. What?

Dude,
it's the slow season.

I got to have the cash
before I get the grass, son.

You mean to tell me
you dragged my ass

all the way
through them woods for nothing?

Dude, you could've told me
this on the phone.

I didn't find out
until after the fact.

Do you want
the weed or not?

Look, you got to bring it
to my cabin by tomorrow night.

Yeah,
but I don't want to walk

all the way up to your cabin,
that's far.

I don't wanna
go through those woods.

Man, you owe me.
Tomorrow night. Cabin three.

Fine. Fine.

Page-turner.
Let me tell you what.

Who is it?

No, no,
no, no, no, no.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, hey,
hey, hey. It's cool. Relax.

Look, I'm sorry
what I said the other day.

Please,
just leave me alone, Zach.

Donnie, man.
I'm not here to mess with you.

You're not?

No.
And I accept your apology.

Well, good.

This girl
has no nipples.

Yeah, I know.

Look.

I know I have
a bit of a temper sometimes.

Yeah, you're a dick.

Right. But Mr. Lahey--

You're a giant dick.

Mr. Lahey put me
in charge of you.

So, I think
we just need to put

everything in the past
and move on, okay?

Yeah. That--
Sure, that sounds great.

Perfect.
So, ready to go?

Where?

To the campfire.

There's another one?

Yeah, well,
we have one every night.

They all told me to, uh,
come up here and grab you.

Roll you on down.

You know, I was-- I was really
kind of enjoying my comic here,

so, I, uh-- I'm gonna-- gonna
sit this one out.

Suit yourself.

Have a good night.

All right.

Oh, um...

You know,
Tiffany was asking about you.

I'll just let her know

that you're gonna
hang out here tonight,

take it easy. Okay?
All right. Later, man.

Wait, wait, wait.
Zach, Zach, Zach, Zach!

Hang on, buddy!
Hang on!

Hey, you guys.

What's going on?

You guys got
to come down to the lake.

There's something
you need to see.

What?

Oh, my God.

What the hell happened?

I don't know,
but this don't look good.

Alain found
Donnie's wheelchair like this.

What?

Do you think
he drowned?

Unless he could swim
better than he could walk.

Oh, my God, Donnie.
Oh, my God.

♪

Damn it!

Two dead kids
in three years?

This is gonna
fucking ruin me.

No one is gonna
want to send their kid here!

I think
we're gonna be okay.

What makes you
think that?

So far
there's no body.

-And?
-No body, no death.

We got to call the sheriff,
Michelle.

Oh, and while
I completely agree with you,

there's really
nothing to report.

Really?

I think you should file
a missing person report

and then
open camp on schedule.

Do you think
that'll work?

Of course.
I mean, Donnie, he's an adult.

He probably just wandered off
on his own free will.

But we found
his wheelchair.

Get rid
of the wheelchair.

Get the other counselors
on board.

You call the sheriff.

-But Bob--
-Roger,

just do what
the hell I tell you to.

All right,
talk to me.

All right, according to
what I got from the counselors,

last time anybody saw him
was about- 00 last night.

Yeah, that's what
they told us as well.

Ah. Well, I think it's a little
early to consider him missing.

Usually we like it
to be at least 48 hours

before we open up
a missing persons case.

Well, Sheriff, I just
wanted to be on the safe side.

Understood. Understood.

All right,
well, listen, uh--

How about
we'll be in touch tomorrow?

Actually, if you
just give Michelle's

direct number
to the office?

That way I can call
her if I hear anything.

Uh. Oh, no. No. Bob.
Do not give him my number.

All right.
Sidowra, come on. Uh...

And I wouldn't
worry about him.

I know
you all look worried.

He's probably
just went off on a hike,

enjoying the breeze.

He'll turn up.

Not likely.

What do you
mean by that?

-"Not likely?"
-What?

What do you mean,
"Not likely?"

Like, he's not
the type to go on a hike?

What, is he fat?

You don't think fat guys
go on a hike, huh?

Because you're a cross-country
runner from high school

and you picked
on the fat people?

That what it is?

Because he's
too slow for you?

Donnie's in
a wheelchair, Roman.

He's in
a fucking wheelchair?

So, we got a slow,
fat kid in a wheelchair.

Around here?

Doesn't look like
there's a whole lot of places

a kid can go in a wheelchair
by himself here, Sheriff.

Well, has anyone
contacted his parents?

Twice, so far, officer,
but so far, no answer.

All right.
Well, stay on it.

What, now the urgency?

I mean,
he hasn't been gone that long.

You got a fucking kid
in a wheelchair

that just Houdini-ed
out of your camp

and you
don't find that strange?

None of you
find that strange, huh?

Yeah, I'm gonna
tell you what happened here.

I'm gonna tell you
all what happened here.

Y'all like
to play pranks, right?

Ain't that right,
Mr. Kotter?

You and the Sweathogs

playin' a little prank
on the wheelchair kid.

No.

How about you,
Maria Consuela?

Habla español?

No speaky inglés?

Ivan Drago.

-Uh, who?
-You beat him up?

-Who?
-"I must break you."

No, Sheriff.

Uh-huh.

Ooh, hoo,
look what we got here.

Karate Kid.

Let me ask you something,
Daniel-san.

Did you wax off

with the poor wheelchair kid
a couple times?

And then decide to sweep
his legs so he didn't talk?

No way,
you can't pin this on me.

Deputy Sidawa.

-Sidowra, Sheriff.
-Yeah.

Remind me how many times
we've gotten calls

about Danny Zuko here
getting in little tussles

with the rest
of the counselors.

I believe that would be
four times, Sheriff.

So what?
That doesn't prove anything.

It proves
you're a four-time loser.

And you're
a fucking mall cop.

You watch your ass.

Sir.

What are you trying
to hide back there, Ponyboy?

Nothing.

Did you mess
with Johnny or Donnie?

-No.
-What do we got here?

Hmm?

Blair, Tootie
and Mrs. Garrett.

Remember the one
about the cousin

who loved you so much,
she didn't know

how to tell you?

I think
we all remember that.

And I think
we all remember

how you did terrible,

terrible things to that
boy in the wheelchair, right?

You tried to cover it up
with a pillow fight.

Bikini pillow fight? Maybe.

You want to
tell me something?

-You want to say something?
-They don't know anything, man.

Roman, isn't this
a little bit excessive?

He's gonna
show up eventually.

All right.

Right now,
I don't have enough evidence.

But I'm gonna
be looking into it.

Oh, great.

It's happened again,
hasn't it?

What the hell
are you doing here?

Now, Mickey, come on,
now, I told you

you can't be coming up here
harassing these camp folks.

There's
another one dead!

Nobody is dead,

and you need to
stay off that scanner.

It's none
of your concern, lady.

How many more bodies,
Sheriff,

are you just gonna
sweep under the rug?

You're all
a part of this.

You're gonna get it.
You just wait and see.

Roman, will you do
something with this bitch?

Sidowra, get her
the fuck out of here.

Miss McGlynn, you got to
get back in your truck

and leave
these people alone.

No!

Come on, Mama,
we got to go.

Somebody's gonna
pay for my Mikey's death.

-Throw the scanner out.

God, that woman.

You know,
I wish you'd arrest her

when she
acts like this.

-She's unstable.
-Hey.

That woman lost her son.
All right?

I think you can have
a little compassion,

especially coming
from you and you.

In the meantime,
Eight is Enough, listen up.

If you see or hear anything,
don't try to be heroes.

Call law enforcement.

In the meantime, we'll,
uh, get hold of his parents.

See if they got
in touch with him, okay?

Everything's
gonna be all right.

He's gonna
show back up.

It's all
gonna be good.

All right, Sidowra.

Settle down.

Five dollars says
that kid's already bear shit.

I ain't taking that bet.

I almost had you.

All right, how about ten?

Thank God.

The camp legend is true?

Mikey's real?

No, that is just a story.

Well, then, who was that, Bob?

That was Ms. McGlynn.

That is the reason
we don't talk about

dead campers
around here.

Her son Michael
died here two years ago

from a peanut butter sandwich.

A sandwich killed him?

It was a peanut allergy.

Who's even ever heard
of anything like that?

That's why we don't
talk about dead campers.

And, Michael,
don't think I didn't notice

that you took
that mask out of my office.

Bob, I didn't take it.

If I see that thing again,
your ass is mine.

Everyone, back to work.

I don't think
I can keep pretending

that everything's normal,
knowing that Donnie is gone.

Shouldn't we have told him
about the wheelchair?

And what good
would it have done?

If Donnie's
in that lake

there's nothing
any of us can do for him.

Well, then they
have to look for the body.

And eventually they will.

-But look,

had we told the sheriff
about the wheelchair,

they would have
cancelled camp this year.

Think about the children.

What about Marche?

You know?

Shouldn't they
have questioned him?

What for? He doesn't
know any more than we do.

Marche found
the wheelchair, Hampton.

Tiffany, trust me,

the guy's harmless.

Yeah, I mean,
he's a freak,

but I don't think
he would hurt anyone.

He's just like
a big child.

This-- It just doesn't--
it doesn't feel right, okay?

Listen, it's-
it's not Alain's fault.

I'm sure Donnie
would have wanted us to just...

all move on.

You fucking cocksucker,

what the hell's
the matter with you!

-This is your fault!
-I didn't do anything!

Bullshit, everybody knows
you took him down there.

You can't prove that.

You're the only one
sorry enough to do it.

Dude, forget him, man.
Let's go. Come on.

Get off!

-Come on.

Do you believe
that guy?

Uh, yeah, actually.

♪

Out of my way, ass-face.
I'm not in the mood.

♪

What the fuck?

What the fuck is this?

Hey, you assholes,
this isn't funny.

Which one of
you perverts touched my dick?

Hey, who is that?

Hey,
you better let me down!

Michael,
you piece of shit.

I'm gonna kick
your ass when I get down!

Yeah, what are you,
trying to scare me?

I know
it's your mask, asshole.

All right,
man, cut the shit.

Cut me down.

You think
I'm in a lot of shit?

If you don't
get me down,

Mr. Lahey's
gonna fire your ass.

Hey, you know
this is kidnapping, right?

Look, man, just stop.
Please, just stop.

What do you want to hear, huh?
Yeah, I admit it.

I took Donnie
to the lake,

but I had nothing
to do with him drowning.

How was I
supposed to know

the retard was
gonna fall into the water?

Hey, man, hey, stop, stop,
stop, wait--

♪

♪

Man.

Ooh.
What do we have here?

Jackpot for Skunk.
This is my lucky day.

Where's that beef?
Tell me where that beef is.

There's that beef.
There's that beef.

Wow, that's a-- Who--
Hey, man, who's there?

Oh, my God, Ms. Crowell,
Ms. Crowell, I am so sorry.

I'll stay out of here.

Don't cut my dick off, please.
I just--

Wait a minute,
you're not Ms. Crowell. Phew!.

What are you, the maintenance
man or something?

Visiting hours are over.
What's with the hammer, dude?

Come on. Get lost.

-What is this?
-I'm not touching it.

Like, I don't understand.

Like, this food wasn't this bad

-when I went to camp here.
-No, it was.

I'd rather
have Eggos, honey.

-Oh, yeah.
-Twinkies.

-Bagel Bites?
-Yeah. Yes.

-Sounds so good.
-Yes.

All right. Like, I don't--

I don't know
if I can take that.

No, I don't. Ow.

Oh, what-- what is this?

I don't blame you.

Where's Zach?

I haven't seen him.

Yeah, he hasn't
been here all morning.

Son of a bitch.

Why? What's up?

We went to his cabin
to talk to him more

about the Donnie situation,
and he's not there.

And his stuff
is gone, too.

He probably quit.

He knew none of us
wanted him here.

Well, great, that officially
makes us short-staffed.

Now I'm gonna
have to make phone calls

and see if I can get
somebody here to replace him.

Hey, just call Frank.

Frank is in jail,
Michael.

Why is it
always the good ones?

Hey. Hey, Kimberly.

So, look, Skunk?

He never
showed up last night.

I was thinking
that maybe

we could work
something else out.

Sorry, Mike.
No weed, no fun.

But we don't need
weed to have fun.

Look, I got a whole case
of beer back at the cabin.

Look, honey, I will
drink with you all night long,

but if I'm not getting high,
you're not getting off.

Sorry, bud.

Oh, hi, Michael.
How are you?

Not so good, Jill.

What's the matter?

I'm in pain.

Well,
why don't you have a seat

and we'll get you
checked out?

Okay.
So, tell me where it hurts.

It's in my groin.

Well,
did you pull something?

Not yet.

Oh, well,
how did it happen?

It was
Kimberly's fault.

Kimberly?

Yeah.
You know, the new counselor?

She was supposed to give me
a hand with something,

but then
that bitch backed out.

Michael, you know
you shouldn't be lifting

heavy things by yourself.

Well, I know that.
That's why I came to you.

All right,
um, let me see

if I can figure out
what the problem is.

Is it...

-here?
-Mm-mm.

It's-- it's lower.

Oh, Michael,
why do you have an erection?

Well, it's a compliment.

Ugh, Michael,
are you even in pain?

-Yes.
-Well, what kind of pain?

-Blue balls.
-Oh, Michael.

Do you have any idea
how unprofessional this is?

Well, what about
the other counselors?

I mean,
they're off having sex.

Shouldn't you?

I mean,
look at you.

You are
the hottest babe at camp.

Is that so,
Mr. Deturris?

Damn straight it is.

-Ah! Damn it.

I can't catch a break.

Well,
to be continued.

I do love
sneaking around with you.

God, you look
just like Burt Reynolds.

I wish
I didn't have to leave tonight,

but I'll be
back tomorrow night

and we can meet down
by the lake after lights out.

Done.

Ah, Ms. Crowell,
how can I help you?

Drop the pleasantries, Jill.
Where's Michael?

I saw him
come in here.

Mm, I don't know.
He actually just left.

And why'd he
come in here?

Well, I'm a nurse,

so I'm sure you can figure
the rest out for yourself.

Oh, please.

Like that little scumbag
could hurt himself.

Maybe if he was
thinking too hard.

Why are you
following him anyway?

I have my reasons.

And what about
Larry and Zach, huh?

Did they come in
for a little checkup, too?

Well, I heard
that Larry quit.

Ha! Larry. Larry quit.

Yeah, right.
Like, I'm that lucky.

The only way
Larry would leave is

if I dragged him out
on his ass and you know it.

There's something
going on here

and I'm gonna
figure it out.

Wow,
Miss Crowell, the detective.

You know what, I bet you and
your boyfriend, the sheriff,

could go around
solving mysteries together.

Don't you dare talk
about Shitmore to me.

And I know
that Michael came in here

not to be
treated for anything.

So, let me
remind you

that staff relationships
are forbidden!

And if I find out
you're screwing around,

I will throw you out

on your tiny little ass.

Have a good day, Jill.

Bye.

-Oh, hey, Michelle.
-Fuck off.

-Wow.

What's her problem?

I don't know.

Hi, Roger.
How can I help you?

I've got this pain
and it won't go away.

What's wrong?

I think
I pulled my groin.

Well,
this is kind of nice, huh?

Yeah.

It's-- it's great.

You okay?

Everybody was
making fun of him.

Just-- I feel like

I could have
done more to prevent it.

Are you kidding me?

You were
the nicest to him.

You treat him
like an actual person.

Not like a joke.

But he wanted to hang out
with me at the campfire,

and I didn't.

Maybe Zach wouldn't have done
what he did had I been there.

Listen.

I know there's
a lot of regrets at this camp

on how people
treated Donnie.

But hey, none of those regrets
are for you.

Okay?

I mean, Donnie wouldn't
want you to go through this.

You're a beautiful person.

Come on.

Hey, babe,
is everything okay out there?

Aw...

Would you knock
this shit off?

Babe, you know I don't like
when you play around.

Seriously, Stacy,

you're breaking
my concentration in here.

Oh, stop!

Babe!

Babe, you okay?

-Boo!

You are
such a scaredy-cat!

That's not funny.
Don't play.

Oh, is the poor
little Hampton so scared?

Stacy? Stacy!
What the hell?

♪

♪

♪ 'Cause I had
a date with a guy ♪

♪ Finally ♪

♪ A date with a guy ♪

♪ And I think
that I love him ♪

♪ And Todd is so hot ♪

♪ I just can't breathe ♪

♪ A date with a guy ♪

♪ Date with a guy ♪

♪ Oh yeah, yeah ♪

Should have left
Todd alone, bitch.

Fucking bitch...

"Meet me
in the art room. Todd."

Ah!
I knew it. I knew it.

Todd. You in here?

This isn't a game, Todd.

Todd?

What's this?

Some kind of
role play?

Have I been
a bad girl?

Are you
gonna punish me?

How?

What the hell, Todd?

Todd?

♪

What the fuck?

♪

Dude, what do you think
happened to Larry?

Oh, thank God.

Hey, uh, what's wrong?

-He's after me!
-Who?

I don't know!
I didn't see his face!

He had a mask!

Are you gonna
help me or not?

What do you
want us to do?

I don't know.

You're big
and you're Black.

Go kick his ass!

Where is he at?

He's outside!
Over there. Hurry.

All right. You stay here.
We'll go check it out.

Okay. Yeah. Okay.

♪

I don't see shit.

What?

She said I'm gonna kick his ass

'cause I was big and Black?

I think she did.

She's crazy.

She on
the same shit Larry was on.

Mm-hmm.

I have no idea
what she's talking about.

-I don't see shit.
-Yeah, she's crazy.

I have to pee.

-Oh, my...

Oh.

Nope. Fuck this.
You can have 'em.

Spoiled-ass white kids.
Nope.

Hey,
you know what I'm thinking?

Never.

I'm thinking...

that we got to really pay
attention

to that Zach
and Michael guy,

'cause if anyone knows
what happened to that kid,

I'm thinking
it's one of them.

-Sheriff?
-Yeah?

-You think that's suspicious?
-What?

Hey, buddy.

How ya doing?

-Doing.
-Cool.

Sir,
you need some help?

Hey. Hey. Hey!

I will ask the questions.
All right?

So, um,
what's with the blood?

-What? It's paint.
-Yeah.

Phew! It's paint.

Been there, done that.
Paint can be a mess.

Yeah, especially
if you're not trained.

What's up
with the knife?

Found it.

Oh, hey, you know what?
Just hand it over here.

If nobody
comes to claim it--

Ah, ah, okay.
Thank you.

If nobody comes to claim it
in 72 hours, it's yours.

All right? Just stop on
by to the department.

All right.

I will always
remember a nice face.

What a nice kid.

Put that in the lost and found
when we get back .

Mm. What a sweet kid.

-Sheriff?
-Mm-hmm.

I really think
we need to investigate

that man
a little further.

You know
what your problem is?

You just profiled someone.

You know?
Profiling people is wrong.

Sheriff, does that
look suspicious to you?

Freeze!

That's far enough.
Not one more step there.

That's it.

All right,
now turn around, Rerun.

That's it.

Now walk back
to me slowly.

Now give me
a little moonwalk.

That's right.
Slow. Slow.

That's right.

There you go, buddy.

All right, Isaac.
Now stop.

Cuff him.

'Kay,
maybe they're taking a hike.

I don't fucking know.

It doesn't make sense.

All of them?
For this long?

Like,
one after the other?

They didn't disappear
at the same time.

They just--
They're just gone. Like--

There's people missing.

They've got
other things to do.

Michelle,
where is everyone?

We don't fucking know,
Bob, okay?

Felicia, Stacy, Hampton,
they're all missing, okay?

They're not
in their cabins,

and I don't know
where they are.

Cornelius
isn't here either.

What the hell
is going on around here?

Something's--
something's not right.

What if Zach
and Larry didn't just quit?

Then we have
seven missing people.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.
What are we gonna do?

-Hey, hey, hey, stop.
-You know, Bob,

I really think
we need to do something.

I'm gonna go ahead
and call Sheriff for one more.

Do it.

It's all right.

It's all right. It's all right.

You getting
a little workout in,

weren't you, now?

You don't seem
like the type that would jog.

So, where you running?

And why you running? Hmm?

Running from the camp.

Camp Trustfall?

Yes,
I'm the cook there.

Well, I can tell
you like to eat what you cook.

No wonder
those kids so skinny.

Why you running?

'Cause the damn devil
is after me.

You know, the devil
only punishes the wicked.

So, what'd you do, son?

Look, I just
witnessed someone die

and other people
could be in danger.

Well, that sounds

like a threat
and a confession.

-Confession?
-Oh, so we agree.

You murdered that poor
little old crippled kid.

And you thought
you'd get away with it.

Perfect murder.
'Til you ran into me.

Mm-hmm.

Now all I need
is the body, son.

If it's not chopped up
and in your belly right now.

Why don't you tell me
where it is?

Or the murder weapon?

-You know where that is?
-There's no murder weapon.

-I didn't kill-
-Deputy, control him!

Whoa! Whoa!
Whoa! Whoa! Deputy!

Oh! Whoa!
Whoa. Whoa.

-What did I just find on you?
-No, no, that's not even my--

-Jesus.

You're going back
to prison, buddy.

Where are you going?

I'm going to
get Sheriff Wilmore.

I'll be back
as fast as I can.

You're just
going to leave us here?

I have no choice.
The phone lines are down.

I need to get
a hold of the sheriff.

I'm leaving you
and Michelle in charge.

What the fuck?
I just bought this thing.

Bob,
what's going on, man?

My fucking Corvette
won't start.

Damn it.

Why don't we go
try our cars, huh?

-Yeah.
-Let's do that.

What happened?

All of the vehicles
have been sabotaged.

So, what
do we do now?

I want
all of you to stay here.

I'm gonna walk
to the sheriff's office.

Are you crazy?
That's like ten miles away.

Listen,
I have to do this.

I want you
to stay here with Roger,

lock yourself
in the cabin.

Are you kidding me?

You're-- You're going to
leave me alone with Roger?

One of them
is doing this.

We need to keep
everybody separated.

I'm going to town to try to
get the sheriff and come back.

I'll be back
as quickly as I can.

Hello?

Dude, this blows.

I should be out there meeting
Nurse Hot-pants right now.

Todd?

Screw it.

♪

Michael, is that you?

Michael, are you
re-enacting all those times

you stood outside my window
and watched me get undressed?

You know, I always knew
you were watching.

Do you like
what you see?

You know,
you can look and touch.

Well, Michael,
what the fuck are you doing?

Are you gonna get in here
and fuck me or what?

Who the fuck are you?

You better stop that.

You're starting
to freak me out.

Fucking asshole!

What do you want from me?
A free show?

Get out of my way!

Help me!

♪

Wait, wait, wait,
did you hear that?

It sounded like someone
calling for help.

-Yep.
-So, we should do something.

We are.

We're doing exactly
what Michelle told us to do.

Kim,
we can't just do nothing.

Yes, we can.

It's literally
the easiest thing we can do.

Would you
leave me out there?

Don't do that.
That's different.

-Why?
-Because you're my best friend.

We don't know
who that is.

It's someone's best friend.

I just--
I keep thinking of Donnie

and how nobody
was there to help him.

How I couldn't
help him.

But we could
help them.

-Come on.
-No. No.

No, you're not gonna
keep doing this to me.

We shouldn't be dealing with
whatever's going on out there.

The safest thing
we can do is stay here.

You can stay,
but I'm going.

Are you coming?

Fine.

God, Kim.

Oh, there's a light on
in the kitchen.

Okay.

Wait,
what if this is a trap?

No, no, no, no.
It's fine. It's fine.

Don't be a scaredy-cat.

Ooh,
please don't be a trap.

Please don't be a trap.
Please don't be a trap.

Just-- It's fine.
You can-- You can do this.

You can do this, Tiff.
You can do this.

You can find
someone to help.

♪

Why is it so dark in here?

Of course. God.

Okay.

Come on, Tiff.
Come on.

Just--
Just check out the kitchen.

It's gonna be okay.
It's gonna be okay.

There's nothing
to be afraid of, you know?

Hello?

Ugh! What the hell?

Who would be cooking
this late at night?

Oh, my God, oh, my God.

Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
Oh, shit. Oh, shit. Oh, shit.

Kim!

What are you
doing here?

Being guilted
by my best friend.

Why are you running?

There's a man in a mask
who's trying to kill me!

-I told you this was a trap.
-Shit!

We gotta go
find Ms. Crowell and Roger.

What the hell
is Roger gonna do?

I don't know!

Why did you stop?

Look,
I need you to trust me.

-Close your eyes.
-Why?

I need you
to trust me on this one.

Hold my hand
and close your eyes

-until I tell you.
-Okay.

♪

Oh, my God .

Oh, my God, she's dead!

Oh, my God! We're gonna die!
We're gonna die!

The hell I am!

Oh, shit.

♪

Fuck.

♪

♪

♪

Please don't. Please don't.

Please. Please don't.

No, please! No!

Hey, asshole!

-Come on, girl!

Oh, my God!

Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

No!

No!

Run!

Who are you?

You son of a bitch!

Todd! Todd!

Where are you?

Please go away...

Oh, somebody's gonna pay

for my little Mikey's death.

Bob,
I don't regret a thing.

You can call the--
Shit! Shit!

Ah, shit!

♪

♪

"Went to Lake
to find Nurse Korek."

Todd!

Oh, my God! Todd!

Hey, hey, hey.
It's okay.

It's okay.
It's all right.

What are
you doing here?

I was coming down
to find Mike, but I--

I don't--
I don't see him anywhere.

-Todd.
-Yeah?

I couldn't find
anybody else.

They're dead.

What?

-What do you mean?
-They're all dead.

Everybody.

No.

What was that?

Come on,
come on, come on.

♪

-Come inside.

Fuck.

They're-- they're dead.

Mike,
what are you doing in here?

This all ends tonight.

With her.

No one else
has to die.

You stay away from her,
man.

Me?
Stay away from her?

It's you
I'm concerned about.

I think
she's gotten into your head.

No,
she hasn't done anything.

I knew
you were gonna protect her.

Something's gotta happen.

What are you gonna do?
Call the cops?

We can't have that now,
can we?

Whether you like it or not,
you're part of this now.

But you and I,
we can fix this.

We can
figure this out.

We've got each other's backs,
don't we?

'Course.

You know
I always got your back, man.

And I've got
your back.

But her?

She's bad news, man.

Why?
What did I ever do to you?

You're a virus!

Everything was fine
until you showed up.

And then
it all turned to shit.

It's not her fault.

Well,
then who's fault is it?

It's yours.

I didn't cause this.

Trying to save you, man.

What, by killing her?

It's her or me, Todd.

Someone's got to
go down for this.

And I know she's not gonna
take the fall willingly.

So, whose side
are you on?

You're a monster.

Mike, I'm not gonna
let you touch her.

-Tiffany, run!

Todd!

Shh.

♪

Todd!
Where are you, man?

I saw you
come in here.

It's a real dick move
hitting me with that bat.

I don't know
what happened to you, man.

You and I
are best friends.

I'd take
a bullet for you.

But if you're
gonna protect her,

then you're just
as guilty as she is.

Mrs. Crowell said

I was getting
too old to be a counselor.

This was going to be
my last year at camp.

It was gonna be
the best one.

And then she had to
come in and ruin it!

-Ah!
-There you are.

Come here. Come here.

-Come here! God!

Hey. Buddy.

Hey. Hey.

Todd. Hey. Hey.

Hey, bud.
Hey, buddy?

Oh, my God.

What did you do?!

What did I do?

You killed
my best friend.

You've taken
everything from me.

-No! No!

-Come here.

-Come here!
-Ah!

It ends now.

Oh. Oh...

Whoa, whoa, whoa.

Come on.

It's me, Mikey.

Oh, my God!

Thank you.

Thank you.

Hey, Sheriff,
got another survivor.

Oh, my God, Donnie!

-Donnie?
-Holy shit.

-Hey. Glad you're all right.
-Oh, my God, you're okay!

What the hell, man?
Oh, I'm so glad!

-Thought I was a goner.
-Yeah, so did I.

I'll be damned.

Son.

You are
one lucky bastard.

Yeah.

How ya doing, buddy?

Uh, I-- I'm fine.

Just a couple
of bumps and bruises.

What happened? Can you--
Can you remember anything?

I was left down by
the lake at night and then

guy came out
and attacked me with a mask.

That's--
That's all I really remember.

Then it's gonna
come back to you.

We'll get you to the hospital
and get you checked out.

I-- I don't-- I don't think
I need it, it's not that bad.

One of your guys
already patched me up.

That ain't
a doctor, okay?

And I'm not a doctor either.
All right?

Wow. That--
You could be hemorrh--

That's serious.
Look at that.

Yeah, you could be
hemorrhaging.

There could be
some internal bleeding.

-Stop! Oh! Oh!
-You see that? You see that?

That's like some seizuring
you're doing right there.

Now, now, now,
now, now, now.

We're gonna
get you checked out, all right?

Yeah, I can-- I can
totally go to the hospital.

I can-- Yes.

Hey, Sheriff,
my mom's here.

Can she take me
to the hospital?

Well...

protocol is that
I should escort

you both
down to the hospital.

But I'm gonna
be honest,

I can't see
why that would hurt.

-Sure.
-Can Donnie come, too?

Yeah, all right.

All right, take Don--
Don't let him get near--

Put him in the backseat,
all right?

Okay, yeah.
You got it, Sheriff.

-Come on.
-Hey. Donnie.

You're gonna be on your feet
in no time, buddy, all right?

-Let me help you with that.

Let me help you with that.
All right, buddy.

Oh, God!

Donnie!

Good kids.

Of all fucking people,
Donnie Brahts survived.

Well,
life is the shit, huh?

Speaking of shit, can you go
wrangle me up some TP?

-Yeah, sure.
-I'll go around back.

Shoo! Hey, whatever happened
with that landscaper,

Alain Marche?

I got
some questions for him.

I haven't seen him.
I've had a lot going on.

Mm.

Well, you know...

you name
a kid Alain...

they end up
mowing a lawn.

Hey, Sheriff.

What is it?

Look who I caught
trying to sneak into the woods.

Ooh, well, well, well.

If it isn't
my favorite drug dealer,

Mr. James Mitchell.

What the fuck are
you doing on my crime scene?

-The name is Skunk.
-Ah!

Say it, don't spray it
and cut the shit, James.

What are
you doing here?

I had nothing to do
with any of this, Sheriff.

I was visiting
a friend here at camp,

and out of nowhere, some psycho
attacked me with a mallet.

Instead of being in handcuffs,
I should be calling my lawyer,

'cause I'm pretty sure
there's a lawsuit here.

Hey, whoa, whoa,
whoa, whoa, whoa.

Slow the roll, Matlock.

-You don't have a lawyer.
-The hell I don't.

Who's your lawyer?

Lawyer-- uh,
my lawyer's Finkelstein, man.

Oh, okay.
That sounds like a lawyer.

-Mm-hm.
-Who are you gonna sue?

I'm gonna sue you,

I'm gonna sue
Camp Trustfall,

I'm gonna own this camp
and I'm gonna own you.

-You better believe it.
-What are you suing me for?

Suing the camp's fine.
Not suing me.

Police brutality.

I haven't done
anything to you yet.

Get him
the fuck out of here.

-Come on.
-Hey, you're lucky to be alive.

Fucking Skunk.

Where did you guys
find the wheelchair?

Vonk. Vonk?

-Yes, sir.
-Get over here.

Looking everywhere
for some toilet paper.

-Uh-huh.
-Couldn't find any.

All I found was
these leaves.

That is disgusting.

But I do
have to go.

Where the hell'd
you find the wheelchair?

Found it
with the kid.

Why?

I was just curious.

Well,
stop being curious, all right?

Hey, Sheriff.

What is it, Sidowra?

So they finally
got back to us with IDs

on the three
John Does found at the,

uh, convenience store
in Stanardsville.

Yeah?

So, as suspected,
one of the victims

is the store clerk,
Alex Costanza.

The other two names:

Henry Brahts
and his son, Donnie Brahts.

Fuck.

Donnie Brahts.

Hey,
ain't that the name of that

melon-headed
wheelchair kid?

Autopsy confirmed

Donnie Brahts
was a paraplegic.

There was no wheelchair
found with the bodies.

Say that again.

No wheelchair

found with the bodies.

Son of a bitch.

-Have a nice day, Alex.
-You too, Mark.

And watch out
for the weirdos.

Oh! Excuse me.

Help! Help!

-There's just nobody here.
-Yeah, there is.

I saw a guy through the window
after you came in here.

Hey, guy.
She thinks you're cute.

I'll give her your number.

No, no, no, no, please.
Seriously, cut it out.

Fine. Let's just go.

We still
have to pay.

You don't want to
be late for your precious

Camp Trustfall orientation,
do you?

Hurry the hell up.

Shut the fuck up, boy,

or I'll make you
crawl in there

and get your own
Goddamn cigarettes.

Yeah, and prolong me from
going to that shitty camp?

You can't wait
to get rid of me.

Screw it.

I'll get
your Goddamn cigarettes.

Yeah, they better be
the right ones

or I'm not
smoking them.

Maybe Camp Trustfall
will have your brand.

Fucking asshole...

Anybody here?
I need some fucking smokes.

What the fuck?

-You done yet?

Help! Dad! Somebody!

Okay, Donnie.

You wait here.

I'm gonna go get us

some sticks and marshmallows
for the campfire.

Where's everyone else?

Uh, they all went
to go get lighter fluid.

Seems excessive,
but okay.

Hey.
Don't roll an inch.

-I'll try not to.
-I'll be back in a jiffy.

Okay.

Donnie?

-Mike.
-Are you okay?

Mike,
you gotta listen to me.

It was Tiffany.
She's killed everybody, man.

What?

I'm telling you.
It's Tiffany.

It's Tiffany
and Todd's helping her, man.

Tiffany's doing everything
and Todd is helping her.

Are you--
Are you sure?

What?
You gotta listen to me, man.

You gotta listen to me.

♪

♪

♪

♪

♪

♪

♪

♪

♪

♪