Original subtitles

This is Jim Rockford. At the tone, leave your name and message. I'll get back to

you. Jim, it's Paul.

Hey, I have been waiting two months for that invitation, buddy. Are you going to

get that new sports channel before the Rams leave L .A.?

Nothing. Absolutely nothing.

Unless this is a movie about the Donner Party, we're not getting it. The game's

going to start any minute.

There's that little sucker way back there.

You know, this TV ought to be in the Smithsonian.

Yeah, I'm going to get all the sports channels on this cable system, right?

Yep. And the little woman's going to be threatening to divorce you within a

week. My little woman jumped that fence seven years ago. Get all the movie

channels, too.

Yep.

Is that what you're looking for?

He's pretty good, this guy. They've been running it all week.

He ends up with her and the upstairs maid on the kitchen table.

Well, he should forget about acting. Put out a line of vitamins.

Okay. Well, you're all hooked up.

Have fun.

And if you have any problems, you just give Image Cable a call and we'll be out

here before you can say Geronimo. That must have been my problem. I didn't say

Geronimo. I just said please and waited five months.

Well, we've been busy.

Enjoy. Hurry.

The fifth sale ends Sunday.

Let me in.

Yeah, come on in, Angel. Door's open.

Let me into your life.

Let me see your devastation.

Touch your withered limbs.

Hear your soul.

Refresh your tortured spirit.

Let me banish the vile.

residue of destruction.

I take away the pain and the suffering, not in my name, but in the name of him.

Lord, God's work is merciful.

The temple is a holy light. It needs your support. Yes, we do.

Remember, the angel of the temple, he gives your offerings.

He doesn't take them.

He took it. That's my sports jacket. That's where it went.

Now, your offerings, they're for the children. We collect God's gifts for

I have here item number 357 entitled, You Are My Special Angel.

You are my special angel.

This pamphlet tells my story. It tells how this special angel walked the...

It's a short camp.

It would have to be.

Item 357.

Mail your checks to the Temple of Holy Light.

Temple of Holy Light, please, and the address if you can.

Thank you.

Yes,

I want to talk to Angel Martin.

Yes, I'll hold.

I want to talk to Angel Martin, please.

No, I don't want to send in a prayer pledge.

I want to talk to... I'll hold.

Your offerings, they go to help the starving children in Lapland.

Lapland?

Yes.

Sister who?

Well, this is silly, Sister Sunshine, but it seems that Reverend Martin is

wearing my sports jacket on TV, and I will... No, I'm not a giver.

Yes, I'll hold.

I had tickets for the LA Angels in 91.

Barely used them. Does that help?

You're not with the boycott, are you?

I did lettuce and grapes years ago.

On the street, pal.

When the Reverend Martin enters the room, he will move to each one of you,

he will ask you what miracle you desire.

Then he will read your aura.

So sit very, very still.

Now, he'll only spend a few seconds with each one of you.

Not to worry. That's all it takes for the Reverend to get a spiritual reading.

You'll be notified later if he's agreed to perform your miracle.

Back again?

And my son, what miracle do you wish for this humble angel of the lurid to

perform?

I'd like my legs back.

He wants his legs back.

Hallelujah.

Nice aura.

Very shiny.

Very blue.

Wish you could see it, Sister Eve.

What do you wish for, Sister?

What? What do you wish for, Sister?

I want my hearing back.

She wants her hearing back. Holy, holy.

Elliptical aura.

Very resonant.

And what do you wish for, my son?

I want my sport coat back.

Hi, Jimmy.

Hi, Jimmy.

Is that all I get?

I don't get a Hosea?

You don't want to read my aura? In case you can't see it, it's bright red and

it's shaped like a fist.

You're consigned to the depths of purgatory for eternity and a day. I'll

the beef. Where's my sport coat?

Jimmy.

Jimmy.

I'm here dealing with the poverty and the degradation of the human spirit at

with the cloven -hoofed forces of the devil who strike out at the children of

flock. And while I look tirelessly for human redemption, all you can think

is your gray, tweed, Mr.

Guy, one -button jacket.

with a single vent.

In hopelessly long, convoluted sentences, that about covers it.

I'm frightened for your soul. I'm frightened for your bridge work, Angel.

right, all right. I needed a good jacket for the pulpit. The old black and white

check that I wore in court and lit with strobing on TV, so I borrowed yours.

You stole mine. Let's use the right verb.

An object taken for the Lord's work is an offering, Jimmy. You get credit in

heaven. How did this happen?

The last time I saw you, you were selling hot VCRs out of a supermarket

cart. Shh.

Jimmy, Jimmy, this is so amazing. I'm having so much fun.

I heal guys. I make them walk again. I'm selling little doohickeys on

television. I boycott stuff.

I'm signing autographs, and I'm selling pamphlets about my life, and it's all

tax -free.

Jimmy, how?

I mean, how does it happen?

Well, one morning...

I woke up, and I had this vision.

And in this vision, I was walking in a daze. Well, that's not a vision, Angel.

That's your natural demeanor.

Anyway, in this vision, God said to me, Your name is Angel.

That's strange. My name is Angel. And God told me, He said, That's not a

coincidence. It's a sign.

It's a message.

Well, you can't ignore a message like that. Sure you can.

Your name is Evelyn.

They called you Angel in prison because you were always on your knees praying to

hard cases not to kill you.

Yeah, well, I'd love to chew the prayer rag with you, but I got an interview

with some hair and makeup people at 5. Had to can the whole bunch. I was

so pasty in my close -ups, I could have been doing spots for four hours long.

Besides, we got a boycott foreman in the parking lot, and we march on the

Cineplex at 7. So if you don't mind, this is His Holiness.

Send in the angels of the Lord.

We need to help a sinner on his way.

Now, why do I have a hunch these angels won't have harms?

Zachary Irons, did we do time together? You'd be in his holding. I didn't like

you in Star Rockford, and I don't like you now.

Hey, hey!

Leave the Reverend alone,

or we're going to put some hurt on you. You guys got a real rock and roll church

going here.

You little slut!

Go sell your devil movie someplace else!

I need to see Reverend Martin. We've heard your satanic message. We know you

stand for it. Hey, hey, are you looking for somebody closer to your weight

class, huh? I need to see Reverend Martin. He won't see me. I've tried

times. All right, all right. This is not a very good situation. Let's get out of

here. Where's your car?

Hollywood makes pollution and...

Don't cry, please.

Here, here.

Take this.

There.

On top of everything else, Laura Soudin, they got canceled.

Can you believe that?

I sent posters and show hats and everything.

My mom just called from Topeka, Kansas and told me they canceled the whole

thing. The parade, the Laura Soudin look -alike contest, the barn dance,

everything. Who the hell is Laura Soudin?

It's me.

I'm Laura Soudin, the actress.

Oh, I'm sorry. Hey, please, don't cry.

Please, can I buy you a cup of coffee?

Oh, God, no, no, please.

Don't you know what that stuff does to you?

Damn the gas. It ruined your stomach.

Do you have a car? We're going to drop you. I took a cab.

There's a juice bar a couple blocks from here.

I can force down a cranberry and pineapple.

Are my eyes red?

Oh, just a smidge. Oh, God. I hate when my eyes are red.

My eyes are my best feature.

Don't you think?

They're very nice.

Where's the juice bar?

Actually, I'd rather have a coffee if you won't tell anyone.

God, I hope nobody recognizes me in here.

My eyes still look horrible.

They're very nice.

Why were those people pushing you around out there? I'm in little Ezekiel. I

play the mother. My agent said I was too young to play the mother. But when I

heard that Guy Franklin was playing Mark, the father, I said, come on, Guy

Franklin? He's only 26.

I mean, if he's the father, how does it hurt me to be the mother? But my manager

is just so constrained about career positioning and everything.

But you have to take what comes until you get the big one.

That's why I switched agencies.

I'm with worldwide artists now. They're about the best.

Miss Dean, do you think you can stay with the reason those people were

you around? I still don't understand. I'm in Little Ezekiel. Little Ezekiel is

movie? Yes.

And the Reverend Martin is boycotting it, saying it's blasphemous. He says

making fun of the scriptures because of the miracle of the bowling ball.

And because Zeke parts the waters in the YMCA pool.

But none of these guys have even seen it. And I tried to talk to Reverend

and tell him I'm being threatened.

And my career is being trashed. But he won't let me in.

Just back up a minute.

The Miracle of the Bowling Ball? Yes.

It's about this little boy named Zeke who's trying to get his divorced mother

and father back together.

And he wants them to believe that it's God's will. So he rigs these miracles.

And his parents, they fall back in love and they get remarried.

Oh, no!

What?

I don't believe it. What?

The TV, the sports quench you're at.

When you play hard.

That's me in the middle.

When you played for Keats.

I looked 12.

That hairdo did nothing for me.

Oh, but that bikini was darling.

I tried to buy it from Wardrobe, but they said they had to keep it in case of

retake. Kiwi, grapefruit, lemon lime.

Now, because you're in this movie, they were pushing you around on the temple

steps. That's it, huh? To drink your body crazy. More suits.

Miss Dean.

Huh? That's why they were pushing you around?

Yes.

I've also been getting these.

Here, let me show you.

Oh, my God.

How did this get in there?

What? What's that?

Just one of my reviews.

I did Streetcar in Laguna. It says I was a vibrant and convincing blant.

See?

Vibrant. It's one of my best qualities. I'm getting that.

You want to know another of your qualities, Miss Dean?

What? You're very self -involved.

Well, you have to be in this business.

I mean, if you don't look after yourself, nobody else will.

These people are threatening your life. You should take this to the cops.

No, my producers don't want me to. They say it will just feed the story.

Look, I have a client meeting.

You're an agent?

A private eye.

Oh, that's so cool.

Do you know how many bodyguards Kim Basinger has?

I heard six.

I heard 12, but I'm not a bodyguard.

Are you going to eat?

I'm not hungry.

Look,

I just had a complete rainstorm. Already?

I want to hire you to protect me. And I bet you I could get Miliband and Bronco

to pay for it, too, because of these letters. Let me guess.

Milovan and Branca have an animal act at the Stardust. Am I close?

Milovan does not in Blanca da Costa.

They own Acropolis Pictures.

So how about it? You want the gig?

I don't think so.

I've got money. If you don't believe me, I made a quarter of a million on Little

Ezekiel. You made $250 ,000 playing the mother of a little boy who parts the

water in the pool at the Y?

And I could have got more, too. But I signed a two -picture deal and gave

Acropolis a break on the first movie.

Satan lover!

Another great quality?

What's that?

Guts.

I've got to get my hair done and a cute outfit for Morton Downey Jr. tonight.

We're doing a show on little Ezekiel.

I'm not sure I should do it, but Bronco and Mila have been saying we have to put

the movie ahead of our personal safety.

Guess that's your business.

Miss Dean, I know you got a lot on your mind, but since you haven't asked, my

name is Jim Rockford.

I was just getting to that.

Nice to know you, Jim.

I think these people are pretty dangerous. You ought to start thinking

another place to stay tonight.

Yeah. I guess I could stay at M &M's. Who's M &M?

Merrill Mark.

He's my old agent.

Still friend.

Well, most guys you named after a candy aren't too tough.

Think you'd be safe there? Yeah.

Okay, I've got some unfinished business with the Reverend Martin. When I talk to

him, I'll press your case.

Would you?

You can bank on it.

Now, where's Eminem's office? I'll drop you there.

Wait till I tell Tori Spelling I've got my own bodyguard.

Get the car washed. I hate it when I see dust on the hood. We gotta be at the

studio in an hour. I'm gonna steam and mud pack. Tell Morton I may need a trim

before air. I'll use his stylus. Right, boss.

Uh, boss?

Doesn't seem right anymore. Can we go with, uh, your holiness, your worship?

Don't push it, Angel.

I remember when you were running errands and served a cigarette.

Me too.

Hey, just like old times, angel.

Swapping lines with the big stripes on the main lines.

Hey, hey, hey, ain't this a bummer? I mean, his holiness stuck here all alone

while angels of the Lord at the car wash.

Jimmy, this is about that jacket that Rocky gave you. I'll give it back to

I don't need it anymore. It used to be just about the coat, but the list is

growing. This afternoon we added a paint job on my car, new seats and windows.

Your protesters trashed my ride.

The Lord moves in mysterious ways, his wonders to perform.

Blessed are the sheep of the Lord, but they know not what they... I'll fix it.

Good. Now let's go get my sport jacket, huh? Where is it? In the main closet.

There's this young girl, Laura's two deans. She's in a little Ezekiel. She's

being threatened because of this boycott you're orchestrating. There are

fanatics threatening her life.

Jimmy, there have been fanatics threatening my life since I was eight.

Occasionally, you were one of them. I still am.

Oh, I don't believe this.

This girl, she's about 20 years old. She's a little obsessive, but

think she's an okay kid. I want you to call your vigilantes off her. Jimmy, the

Lord helps those who help themselves.

I mean, this child must cleanse her own spirit.

She's threatened again.

I'm going to come over here and cleanse your spirit with a can of mace.

Okay, I'll work on that. Good.

Oh, nice.

Oh, well, now here it is.

Right next to my old leather jacket.

How did these get here? Oh, good question.

There's a whole Rockford section in here. You can keep this.

Oh, well.

Guess I've been making a lot of offerings, huh?

Yeah. I'll probably be in the diamond lane to heaven, wouldn't you think?

Well,

what else you got?

Who does all this belong to?

Just people.

Besides me.

Angel?

You and I have had a long and difficult history together.

Held together for reasons that baffled all my other friends.

You'd steal from me. You'd lie and cheat.

Your ethics would embarrass a get -down robber. And here you are, living like

the Archduke Ferdinand.

Better. What?

Better than the Archduke. I'm up there with Elizabeth Taylor and Travis Tritt.

Yeah, but what's the scam? How did you get to be the head of a church?

I mean, what's going on? What is your angle?

Jimmy, you're not going to believe this, but I had an epiphany.

I woke up one morning, and I just saw things through different eyes.

And I came down to the church, wandered in a center, and then when the Reverend

Thomas Starr asked for sinners to tell their story, I came up, and I was

bathed in the light of the Almighty, and I felt such rapture.

And I told my story.

I actually spoke an ancient tongue.

Reverend Starr said he never heard Aramaic spoken in such a beautiful

Aramaic? It's an ancient language. There's no books to translate it. You

sort of, like, feel it.

You actually got away with that.

They made me a deacon.

So, uh, when Reverend Starr had his stroke last month, I took over the

and the rest is Aramaic.

Jimmy.

I know you have a bad knee.

And I know it's been bothering you for years.

I could coax the devil's spirit out of it if you'd let me leave this bathroom.

What's your hurry?

How about I make you a deacon of the temple? As a deacon, you get to sit up

front on Sunday, go to the Palm Springs retreat, carry a church AMX card, you

get special parking, and use of the choir on your birthday. I said, what's

hurry?

I have to do Morton Downey Jr.

in less than an hour. See, I'm doing a point -counterpoint with the people that

made the film, and I'm running late.

Angel, let me ask you something.

What are you going to do when you actually get up there and you have to

for all this, huh?

I'll, uh, think of something.

Have you?

Or haven't you?

I mean, it's a simple question.

Seen the movie?

That's the question, my friend.

People doubt that you've seen the movie. They say you're boycotting it before

you even know what you're boycotting.

It's about a little boy who blasphemes the scriptures with bowling balls and

pool water. What's more to know? That is not true. My friend, I tell you, we

come to this country to make a beautiful movie.

People cry when they see it. They tell me, Mr. DaCosta, it's a very nice movie.

We open film tomorrow.

These people say we insult the Bible. That is not so. We do not insult.

We are not insulting.

We are entertaining.

My life has been threatened by a lot of the people in the audience. Show me.

Show me who did it. Point them out to me. Point the people out. That one there

and that one.

Is this true, sir?

Have you threatened this young lady?

Yeah, we threatened the little slut. She was spreading her satanic values on our

children. Morton, over here.

I put my money into this movie, and I'm proud of it. I'm proud to be the

producer. And these people are inhibiting my ability to make a profit.

picketing theaters. They're threatening violence to keep the public away.

My rights are being undercut, and I resent it. Okay, Dan Barkley, everybody.

All right, your dad owns Barkley's department stores, correct? Yeah.

Now, why do these people have the right in a free society to interfere with free

enterprise? Good question. Is this a First Amendment issue?

First Amendment?

These men are idolaters.

They must be stopped.

They are poisoning our society with godlessness, sir.

They're corrupting our society. I'm going to find a blunt instrument. This

about to go up the spout. I look to my lord for my guidance, but there are

in the flock who can see into the future.

I would like to present the future.

I'm in your way, right?

May I present the East Indian mystic, Sarah Lanka.

I see fires.

I see devastation.

I see the destruction of cities.

She sees nothing.

This is nuts.

No one can see into the future. You can't. And these silk suit immigrant

gangsters can't. But Sister Lanka can.

She sees truth.

Heaven.

Listen, Jimmy, try and get out of the events on time.

Lordy, I'm glad I got rid of that jacket. That blood is never going to

Last note.

Tell the architect that the Angel Martin Stadium has got to have a statue of me

in the Eastern style. I don't care if we're over budget.

Tell him to rip off the one in Washington of Abe sitting in the big

and get the drawings to me promptly. And one last note of warning. See it?

Though it's a long, torturous trail up the Holy Mountain to Deacon, it's just a

short cab ride back to Choir Master.

Don't disappoint me, buddy.

The Angel Martin Stadium?

Temple of Holy Light University, THLU.

I'm kind of worried about that name. I don't want people saying tender love,

you, tough love, hey you.

Angel of Holy Light University.

That's got to ring A -H -L -U.

B -Y -U -S -M -U.

Brigham Young is a Mormon university.

We'll work around that. Oh, yeah, right.

I think I'll skip the ride home, Angel.

I'll call a cab. I don't think my medical insurance could take much more

church. Jimmy?

Jimmy?

Thanks for pulling that little dust bunny off of me, but I sure was cooking

there, wasn't I?

Oh, yeah. I love a fistfight with a good downbeat.

bitchin' in there.

I mean, you risked your life to save me. I'm gonna give your name to Shannon

Doherty. Laura Sue, this thing is out of control. You need to get some

professional security. I'm just an investigator.

Those guys with the tattoos and the funny -looking hairdos, they're not

around. You need to take them seriously.

It's so gnarly.

LZ opens tonight, so it's only gonna get worse.

LZ is Little Zeke?

That's so cool you got that.

I didn't get a chance to talk to Branca and Milovan about security, did you?

No, I was going to Judith's party tonight.

You know what?

You should be going with me.

Make sure none of those cheeseburgers are laying in wait at the Phoenix room.

I can't stop my head from bleeding, my coat's a mess.

No, that corny gray jacket with bloodstains is going to rave at the

All right, Laura Sue, I'll go with you, because somebody has to talk your

producers into protecting you.

You're blundering around in a minefield wearing snowshoes. You really have to

try and focus on the problem. People are trying to kill you.

Being opened and uncomplicated is my best quality.

Yeah. Come on, Stevie.

Let me in.

Mr.

DaCosta, good to see you. Hi.

Hi. Hello, Stevie.

Good evening, Mr. DeSalle.

Sorry, but this place ain't for you.

What if I jump in a bat at Crisco?

This would be a joke.

And here's the punchline, DEA. You see that roach behind your ear?

It's a cigarette.

You got a drug records TV?

If I run you, am I going to find a stack of 22 .7s?

go stevie at the door didn't take my jacket ray let's do this now so i go

tape up my head i don't think my reputation can take much of it hey wait

minute dea are we gonna have to discuss your future no what is this i've never

seen it back like this before it's real i made it myself model airplane decals

and library card i'm working with my thing so he's right so i'm coming real

like that the arab gunships just like that I do not see it hiding, and I'm

coming low, right past.

Excuse me.

And he, hovering like this, by two foxes.

Bop -bop! Bop -bop!

Excuse me. Rocco was the pilot for the Israeli Air Force.

He helped bring U .S. fighter bombers into Israel.

Mr. DaCosta, my name is Jim Rockford. I'm a private investigator.

I believe that Laura Sue's life is in danger. I can't work for her any longer,

but I think it's important that you provide her with some protection.

This is silly.

I know danger. We do not need defense.

If she wants defense, it's okay. You be defense.

But Acropolis will not pay.

Anyway, here I am.

Somebody blew up our limo?

The defense rats.

What do you mean you can't go over there? I can't go over there. I'm

just walk in there without a warrant, rifle through church records, looking

someone with a record as a farmer?

Hell yes, this is Angel we're talking about. This is the Reverend Martin we're

talking about.

Oh, Dennis.

This bombing, these attempted murders, they're all tied in with the silly movie

boycott of his. You go over there, you grab him by his scrawny little neck,

like always, and tell him you're going to launch him into space if he doesn't

cooperate. I'm not going to do it. I'll try and get a warrant, but I'm going to

press the T's, dot the I's.

Of course, Angel has influence now.

I don't believe you're wussing out on me.

I'm obeying the law and recognizing Angel's rights. You're wussing, Dennis.

Angel isn't going to file a lawsuit. His nose bleeds in court.

You're just mad because he made something of himself, became a man of

heals people on television, gives them communion and everything.

Man of the cloth, communion. Have you been down there? It's strictly

and grape juice. The only healing you're going to see is from Dobermans.

I'm not going to do it.

You know, you should get your head sewn up. It's still bleeding.

You don't like this little leak?

A lot of people think it raves.

Thank you. Yeah, sure.

God, this is so depressing.

Yes, it is. We don't have a clue who's doing it. Huh? What are you talking

about? You said it was terrible, and I said it is.

I'm talking about how bummed I am I can't leave.

I was going to sneak into the late show and see little Ezekiel with an audience.

You know, sit with the straights in the back of the theater.

That's when you can tell whether the film really worked.

Well, Sue, I want you to go to a friend's house. Stay there and don't

anyone where you are.

Dial this number. Leave a message on my machine where I can reach you.

Isn't the bodyguard supposed to stay with the client?

I haven't been a bodyguard very long, so I'm not sure of all the rules. For now,

let's just do this.

Whoa, what do you got?

Hey,

come on.

So predictable.

Be finished in a minute, Zack.

You're finished now, Rockford.

Come on, on your feet.

and help them see this ministry and our world outreach programs reach...

Jimmy, Jimmy, Jimmy.

I'm so disappointed.

Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I fear no evil. My

rod and my staff, they comfort me.

Don't forget these chrome -plated .38s.

Yes?

I know what that's about. Tell him I'm calling back. Hold my calls.

Jimmy, you can't just break into the temple.

It's the Lord's house.

I'm sorry. It looks like a halfway house. I got confused.

I'd love to put it in a go -kart track somewhere.

I wonder if a Bible study center is really all that important.

In a Bible college? No.

Trash it.

Yeah, I guess eventually it's got to go somewhere.

Angel, do we really need the angels of the Lord? I need to talk to you. It's

important. In all the years I've known you, I have never hurt you.

Angels of the Lord may withdraw.

You give Frisky Rockford, you're going to join the Hallelujah Chorus.

What do you pay that moron? He's a deacon. He gets all the privileges.

I'm going to screw up the Palm Springs retreat.

No, no, no, no.

I'm putting the Angel Martin architecture garden.

Angel, this boycott, somebody's going to get hurt. I think one of your flock

just blew up a limo that belongs to Acropolis Pictures.

Well, I didn't do it. I'm a man of the cloth. I got sections in Deacon's Tale

buy my... I didn't say you did it. I'm just telling you that some of the people

in your church are a little overcommitted.

Nice way to put it. I mean, you say the picture is blasphemy, and they go out

and blow things up. You're going to have to cool your jets for a while.

I can't!

I mean, I'm on a schedule here.

This kind of thing runs on a schedule that is tight.

Can you believe what's happening here?

Well, that's what I'm saying.

I mean, you're going to have to slow them down.

Oh, not that me.

Okay, you want to talk about tax audits, Jimmy?

That's what started this whole deal.

See, it was an IRS audit.

I was trying to beat a tax rap.

Ended up on TV with all the business.

I mean, this country is the best.

Being an ex -con, it doesn't hurt you.

You and Don King.

You know, I figured that if I could get into this church and become a sexton or

a minister or something like that, well, then I could shelter my tax through the

church's tax -free clause.

Then I could tell these IRS clowns to just take a hike.

So I come in one Sunday and look up on stage and all these people are doing the

funky chicken and getting healed. And I said, well, now, Angel, you can shake

the dust off these stiffs.

So I went up there.

I told the story of my life, and because it was on TV, they got it all down.

Well, it's in that You Are My Special Angel, word for word. I know, chapter

four, with illustrations.

Man, I got up on stage, and I was jamming. And I started choking.

Really, Jimmy, I started choking. Maybe one of the words went down wrong. Guess

what? It was perfect Aramaic.

Can you believe it? It might have been, too.

How do I know? I mean, it's a dead language. Listen, Angel, if you want to

this gig in play, you're going to have to black flag the cowboys in the

congregation, or you're going to be up to your rotten staff and angry cops.

Now, just give me the name of the biggest nut in your files, and I'll work

Chances are, if he's not involved, he knows the crazies who are.

Now, who's that going to hurt?

I don't know, Jimmy. Giving up a parishioner? Let me put it to you this

Give him the name.

Or I'll go to Becker and he'll write up a warrant and he'll come out here and

open up this church like the can of corn it really is.

The guy's name is Buddy Rennick. I was going to kick him out of the church

anyway. He lives in a trailer in Palmdale.

Says he talks to the Holy Ghost, but I think he's talking to the jackrabbits.

Okay, and just one more little favor.

I want you to call this protest off.

Uh, hey, I'm a little worried about Laura Sue.

I can't seem to keep her headlights on. She's gonna crash.

I'm giving up this boycott on the weekend, anyway. I mean, the schedule's

killing me. You don't know how I've been...

Oh, why,

you're really great at this.

I never would have thought about that.

You know, redesigning the building.

Now you can just lean it up against the gym.

Ain't we, Lussard?

Okay, go ahead.

But, Mommy, if you and Daddy still love each other, why can't we all live

together like before?

Well, little Zeke, I guess your daddy has more important things in his life

right now than you and me.

No, no, you wait, Mommy. Buffy and I will make a miracle.

Come back here. Where are you going? Come back!

I think I overplayed that.

The director said be angry.

I never thought it was an angry moment.

Little Zeke?

Little Zeke?

God, I suck in that scene.

I should have played it softer.

I thought you were just right.

Very convincing.

You did?

Did you really like me?

You're not just saying that?

Thank God. Well, maybe you and Mommy can get married again.

Oh, hello.

Oh, wait.

There's my agent, Jerry Michaels.

Jerry! Woo! Jer!

He hated me.

He despised it. You can tell he doesn't even want to talk to me. Oh, he's

probably just discussing the next picture.

You think?

Yeah. That could be it, I suppose, huh?

Okay, Tim.

Be honest.

Did you like it? Did you like me? Did I seem believable?

Did I bore your pants off?

Yes, yes, yes, and no.

I was just something to eat.

I wonder where Danny Barkley is. I dated him a few times.

He said he would meet me here.

My darling, you are in the film A Breath of Fresh Oil.

Air?

Air. Air is better, no?

Much better. Did you like the way I played Camellia, Mr. DaCosta?

I kiss the fit of talent.

But not here. We'll do the fit -kitting.

I'm playing private.

I wonder where Danny Barkley is.

It is strange.

He usually likes this kind of thing.

Important agents and everything.

But he's not here, so there is more champagne for the rest of us.

Excuse me.

Would you excuse us?

Sue, there is definitely something wrong here.

I think Franca liked me in it. This film isn't blasphemous. You don't need to

boycott this film. I mean, there's no disrespect, Laura, but, well, it's...

hated it.

Hated? No, hated is a very, very strong word. No, I was interested in a

secondary capacity.

What the hell does that mean?

I was a little bored.

Not a lot, just a little.

It's not boring.

How can you say it's boring?

Do you really think it's boring?

Oh, God, it is boring, isn't it?

I'm ruined.

Wait, Laura Sue, you were magnificent.

But the film, Laura, the whole enchilada seems a little bit hot.

Hey, you wanted me to be honest.

Yeah, I mean, there's honest and there's nasty.

Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to be nasty. The whole thing is setting off a

of my alarm buzzers. Yeah, with another.

All right. This is Danny Barkley. Where is he?

I don't know.

You said you were dating him. Can you think of any reason why he wouldn't show

up at a cast party?

No.

He put his money in because he wanted to be a part of this business.

He bought 40 % of this picture. He would definitely be here.

Do you know where he lives?

You have any questions?

I know where the key is.

Why is it happening?

I don't know.

But I'm going to find out.

You see, Dennis, you didn't want to go stay in the angel on his head. Look what

happened. This whole thing is getting worse.

And maybe if you didn't drive around town with the word Satan scribble on the

side of your car, things would be a little bit cooler down here. I didn't

that there and you know it.

Hey, you want my list of suspects?

Just take a hard look at the two guys dripping gold and insincerity by the

door. They own a major movie company. They're worth millions.

And talking about suspects, don't you leave town, because I'm going to want to

talk to you.

What, me?

Oh, come on, Dennis. Didn't you lay this Barkley guy out yesterday on the Morton

Downey Jr.

show?

Oh, great Vincent Pinguinetti. That's all this case needs that qualifies an

spill. Hey, Vincent.

Hi, Tony. How you doing?

Good to see you.

The chief thinks Vincent is the best private investigator in L .A.

Hey, Dennis.

Boy, that Bostenovich case was awesome. Way to go, babe.

Chapman told me he's got his eye on you.

Really? Yeah. You talked to Captain Chapman about me?

Yeah, me and the chief and Chappie on the poker night.

Did a whopper of a commercial for you, babe.

Right on the water. You know what I mean?

So how's the repo business, Jim?

That's honest work, and it beats going through Lonnie Anderson's track.

Well, somebody's got to work for deadbeats.

Better you than me.

By the way, Acropolis Pictures has hired me to organize their security for them.

Now, that's going to include all the actors on this picture, as well as

and Bronk and the rest of the executives.

What are you trying to tell me?

Pack it up.

You're through.

Jim, do you hear that? He told the chief the Vasanovich case was awesome.

You were getting a massage, Dennis.

Penguin, man, he's a showman with good PR.

You think we could talk about Angel's Church for a minute? The congregation

there, they're not winning any mince of memberships. His flock couldn't get a

job scraping gum off a theater seat.

What am I supposed to do with that?

Well, I'd check them for records.

The one guy, Zachary Irons, I did time with.

He was a home invader or something.

Also, there's this scripture -quoting weirdo out in Palmdale named Buddy

Rinnick. I pressured Angel into giving me his name last night. I went out there

this morning and talked to him.

My instinct, he's not a killer.

Hey, you might want to run a scratch and sniff test on him, though.

Hey, Jim, don't go away mad, okay?

That's awesome, babe, awesome.

I'm leaving.

Guy just pulled up in an Italian soup can. His name is Vincent Pinguinetti.

Famous private eye. Does cooking segments on Regis and Kathy Lee.

He's your new security.

Good luck.

Nice knowing you, Laura Sue.

Do I owe you anything?

I don't like to get paid when people end up dead.

All I wanted was my port code back anyway.

I think I'll just go home and go fishing.

What are you doing?

You're my bodyguard.

No, I'm not.

Hey, Rockford.

That's my client.

Yes, I am.

You know, I love the beach. I just don't get down here that often.

I've got my skirt and my dress and my purse.

And you've got my two bags.

Yeah, I got them.

Why'd you have to bring all this stuff?

You're only going to be here a day or two.

I need my things.

I can't believe I'm in Malibu.

You live in a trailer?

Here you go.

This is nice.

It's not everything you were hoping for.

Well, it's kind of small.

Well, I'm kind of broke.

God, this is so depressing.

Come on, it's not that bad.

No, I was thinking about Danny.

Yeah. I should have brought my Donna Karen with the lace collar for the

I look dynamite in that dress.

He shouldn't be dead.

All he wanted was for people to look up to him like they did his dad.

He was just a guy trying to live in a giant shadow.

He was nice to me.

He really liked me, and he's gone now.

I'll never see him again, Jim.

I'm okay.

I just feel bad for him.

What are you doing?

Matthew 13, 49.

That was on the mirror in the bathroom.

Here it is. At the end of the world, the angels shall come forth and sever the

wicked from among the just.

Don't worry.

I'm not going to let you get severed.

Laura Sue?

It's 3 .30. Are you okay?

Yeah. This movie always gets to me.

This girl runs away from her mother because she wants this glamorous life.

And now her mother is dying and she doesn't even know it. It's so sad.

She'll never believe it.

Good night.

Do you think you could talk to me for a while?

Sure, I guess.

I know I'm a pain in the ass.

And I wouldn't blame you if you took a cab on this whole deal. No, it's fine. I

don't usually have house guests, especially movie star house guests.

You think I'm a movie star?

Well, you're getting in brawls on Morton Downey Jr., then you're a movie star.

But Little Ezekiel's a pretty awful movie, isn't it? Hey, just getting in a

movie in this town is a huge accomplishment.

And you were good.

You didn't think.

The movie did.

You know, this movie, something's troubling me. Maybe you can help.

I'll try.

Well, Danny Barkley bought 40 % of this movie after the film had already been

shot. That's a little unusual, isn't it? Oh, we were over budget. The bank was

going to shut us down.

So we can assume that Millivan and Branca didn't want to put any more money

the film. They bring Danny Barkley in. He buys 40 % at a pretty steep discount,

probably. Don't you think?

I guess.

Uh -huh.

So Danny dies.

Who gets his 40 %?

I wonder if Acropolis Pictures had a buyback clause.

You know, sometimes in business deals, the surviving partners have a right to

buy back the assets out of the estate at a pre -negotiated rate.

That's what's been keeping me up.

That's neat you really care what happened to Danny, what happens to me.

Sometimes I can't figure out what I care about.

I mean, sometimes I think all I want in the world is to be famous.

And sometimes it seems like being famous isn't worth anything at all.

It's a man's fan we just keep slogging on.

Fan?

Stanislavski. I wanted to be an actress since I was six.

That's about when Stan and I hooked up.

Stan used to be my manager when I was in grade school.

Now I've got a guy at Dirk and Roskin and Klein who won't return my phone

Stan was a better manager.

Weren't you, Stanley?

Don't you have any friends?

Not really.

I may have club friends, people I know who were never there for me.

And I have actress friends.

They're even worse. You've got to compete with them for parts.

And a few old boyfriends.

They're just prowling.

No, it's just Dan.

And you.

Sometimes, Jim, I'm so frightened of what I'll become that I'm almost numb.

And sometimes I'm so frightened of not becoming anything that I can't breathe.

I mean, I want to be more than I am, but I don't know how.

Is that just nuts?

That's not nuts.

It's your best quality.

Good night.

Good night.

Why do you think they wouldn't see me?

They're your agent. Maybe they have another job for you.

I've been with this talent agency for six months, and they've never called me

for a meeting. Now they want to meet on Saturday?

Jerry and Michael painted the movie.

I bet Bronco wants to get out of the second picture.

They don't like me, Jim. I'm ruined. I'll never work again.

Whatever it is, you can't change it anyway.

You're right.

apart, Jim. Get me out of there.

Promise? Code 3.

Oh, it was Dean.

This way, please.

Jared. Jerry.

Marty. Martin.

Jared.

To Laura Sue Dean.

Star of the 90s. What?

Star of what, Mr. Michaels? Call me Jer, honey. And don't be coy.

Branca must have called with the weekend groceries.

No, no. I was staying at Jim's.

Little Ezekiel is through the roof.

We're boffo in the city, socko in the burbs.

Acropolis is estimating about 23 million as the first weekend take. That's

fantastic.

Isn't that great, Jim?

And Jim would be what? Our favorite uncle who really needs to get lost right

now.

Laura Sue is prime agency fruit. We don't need some middle -aged walk -on

crowding the plate.

When it comes to protecting our clients, you'll find that Waka can be pretty

damned aggressive.

I'm going to let all that fly past, Jer, because obviously you drink too much

prune juice.

Tim is my bodyguard. He's protecting my life from those threats.

I've talked with PR.

We think you should jump on TV and attack these right -wing extremists. Get

right in their face.

It's going to be big news.

Lots of coverage.

We position you as the girl with the big cojones and go after the next

Schwarzenegger movie.

Excuse me, Jerry, but as Laura Sue's security consultant, I'd advise against

that. These guys are pretty scary.

Maybe to you, Jim, but not to me.

And I know a little about fear.

Believe me, I've been to Fear City. I've seen that elephant.

We're talking about people who've already killed one of the film's

Like I said, Laura Sue is a very valuable fruit.

We're not going to risk getting her hurt, and this is in her best career

interests. You going to stand between her and the bullet, Mr. Michaels?

If that's what it takes, you bet.

I'm not just some guy in Gucci loafers, Jim.

I was in Grenada. I've seen combat.

Grenada? Yeah, a lot of ripe fruit flew in that one. Go ahead. Make fun of it.

But those Grenadine Defense Forces were crack units.

And we looked down the business end to those Cuban AK -47s, and we didn't

mister, just like we're not gonna blink now.

Weren't you a cook, Jer?

Cooks were at risk, just like everybody else.

Jerry, as tough as the Grenadine Defense Forces were, you're not gonna scare

these thugs off with a potato peeler.

Now, I don't think we should inflame them. You're going to risk Laura Sue's

for some television exposure?

You don't rise if you don't risk.

Stars aren't born.

They're developed.

Strike while you have the chance. And remember, fear is just a four -letter

word.

Get out!

Come here.

Everybody out in the corridor and stay low.

These walls are thin. They won't stop a bullet. Go, go, go, go. Call 911.

What's going on, Jer?

Did you call 911?

Are they coming?

I don't hear sirens.

You can come on out. The guy's gone.

There's ten feet of open terrain to the door.

I'm not coming out until the cops clear the free -fire zone across the street.

Shoulder to shoulder, huh, Jer?

What, I'm supposed to die for an actor?

I'm telling you, very, very observant, Dennis. I'm very impressed.

I was just looking around up there where you said, and there it was.

Ladies and gentlemen, everybody, Dennis Becker located the breath.

Eyes like an eagle, this guy. Show him, Dennis.

No, I don't think so. Come on, we can get print hits off these cases and make

the whole investigation.

Damn fine police work. Come on, show him. You sure?

Yeah.

Hey.

Come on, knock it off, guys, huh?

You ever decide to pull the pin, you've got a job in my shop.

Can I get out of here, Dennis?

The Penguin said I'm a policeman's policeman.

high praise from a penguin.

You don't like him because he gets all the high -profile cases in L .A. I don't

like him because I think he works for mobsters without any regard for the

and because he's more concerned with his image than he is with his clients, and

because he gets all the high -profile cases in L .A.

So, can I go now? I've signed my statement. Laura Sue signed hers.

Recording Ms. Dean back to her apartment, I have two female operatives

to her, both martial artists.

I'm an okay artist myself.

Mostly it's just finger painting, but sometimes I sculpt mountains out of my

cream when it melts.

And sometimes I make quivering cowards out of smart -mouthed pukes like you.

soon can we arrange for you to try that?

Jim, you can go.

I'll call you if I need you.

I'm Laura Sue.

You sure you want to go with this guy?

No. But Jerry wants me to go.

I guess I gotta do what my agent says.

Change agents, Laura Sue. Even for a cook, Jerry was under that table way too

fast. I don't think he'll hang tough in a career crisis.

I'll sneak away and call you.

out my date book? Did you pick it up for me on your way out?

No, no, no.

I'm out of there.

I'm not going to go back in that office building. I'm going to get my secretary

to go back and get my briefcase.

Then have her pick up my date book. I've still got a lot of calls to make.

You know, we've still got the kitty cats problem.

Cats is a problem client.

In fact, the whole Empress film slate is weak. You know, I think we're in

quicksand there.

Yeah, you should see his new film.

I reviewed it last week.

It's a gobbler.

It's going to do no business.

We could sure use a boycott on that one, couldn't we? Yeah.

You got that right.

That's what angels sell.

So you want to have your girl bring me my book? Yeah, sure. Where are you?

I'm in the garage.

Where?

What?

What?

Charlie!

You say to me, how can that be? Brother Martin. Charlie!

Oh, if the son of God spake not to Abraham.

Then he's speaking to me.

And then the question must surely follow, for whom the bell tolls.

It tolls for me.

For when you speak of this, and you will be kind.

And then I heard the Holy Ghost saying, oh, Susanna, don't you cry for me. And I

didn't. I didn't.

Because God.

Can we help the children? Can we help the children? Yes!

Item 478 is one I feel a very special pride in.

Offering 478 is the autographed E. Angel Martin ivory chopsticks with the words

My Special Angel engraved in dragon red ink on the tip.

Item 478 is only $45, plus postage.

And while you're getting out your checkbooks, the Merciful Angels Choir

sing a song about my adolescent years.

What? It's not water, I'm dry.

Angels of the Lord are supposed to have bottles of Perrier standing by at all

times during important sermons. You haven't paid me or the guys in two

Angel. When's the little bird coming our way?

Speakest of such meager things, of payment, of pieces of silver.

Thou desirest money while souls are starving for salvation.

Exactly. In a scam, when you fail to pay the bodyguards, they leave you dead in

the gutter. Remember how that works? Mm -hmm. Let's go.

You're paying.

Come on. All right.

Come on.

What are you doing?

A little neighbor crashed into a workshop. Jimmy, they're trying to kill

met them in prison. They're all murderers.

Boy,

that was one of my better sermons. I was really cooking in there. You better get

a copyright attorney.

I think I've heard some of that stuff before.

I just can't be traveling around the city streets with my old investments.

Drop me off at the man's. No.

Forgive him, Father, but he knows not what he does.

I know exactly what I'm doing. I'm going to separate you from a couple of teeth

unless you get me some answers. Okay, go ahead. Ask ahead. I'm fully in for it.

You're selling film boycotts to movie producers that have thick films. Your

boycotts create free publicity and interest at the box office, right?

Is this a multiple choice? Because I'd like to hear the other possible answers.

You get these religious fanatics riled up and they go out and kill people. I

control my flock.

That's as big to me. This is the next big growth industry in the religious

which has become a very troubled business.

What's so tough about standing up on TV and hawking overpriced garbage?

Brother Swaggart and Brother Baker hurt us bad.

Prayer pledges are dwindling. I mean, a reverend's got to have some vision now.

It's one thing to make a video of the service. I'm not knocking that, but this

boycott thing could be huge.

I'm thinking I could get a piece of the box office. Who killed Danny Barkley?

I don't know, Jimmy. I swear to you, I don't know.

But my boycott didn't kill him.

You mad, Jimmy?

Boiling. Get out.

Bless you, my son.

May the Lord smile down his holy continents upon you.

What's happening at the moment?

Your Holiness, this is Martha Dean.

Your boycott's almost got her killed.

Dean!

Danish coffee, sugarless cookies. Don't these immigrants have any glazed

doughnuts? I'm not feeding you, Angel. We're trying to find out what's going

why Danny Barkley died.

If he was in on all this, why did he go nuts and start clinging to the Morton

Downey Jr.

show? It's almost as if he didn't know the whole deal was rigged.

He cut the show short by 15 minutes. That doesn't make sense.

Angel? I guess just the Danish coffee and I'll try the sugarless cookie. Was

Danny in on the boycott?

Was he ever in any of the discussions between you and Branca and Milovan? No.

Tell you the truth, the boycott was Biff Adams' idea.

Who the hell is Biff Adams?

He's head of marketing at Acropolis Pictures. He's the one that set up the

meeting between me and Bronco and Milivan. But Danny wasn't there. I

diddly squat about him. He's just a rich kid that bought in. When he put up the

money a few months ago, they were delighted to have him in.

I gotta go to the bathroom.

You can just hold it, Angel. You're not gonna skate out the bathroom window on

me this time.

Even angels have to go to the bathroom occasionally.

Read your Bible, Jimmy. Let's try it this way.

What if Acropolis Pictures figured they had a loser on their hands? They're

going over budget. They don't want to throw good money after bad.

So they bring Danny Barkley in to get him off the hook. They sell Danny 40 %

nothing. Then they get Angel to create one of his phony boycotts.

Suddenly, Danny's piece is worth millions.

But they gave it away cheap.

So these Euro trash ex -gun dealers decide they're going to fix it the old

-fashioned way. They make Danny Barkley a victim of the boycott. So maybe the

exploding limo and the gunshots at Watco were just Milovan and Bronco trying to

make it look good?

Angel, you and I are going to break into the offices of Acropolis Pictures and

see if we can get a look at Danny Barkley's deal.

Break into Acropolis?

Yeah, that's right. Jimmy, you know I've never been good at the black bag stuff.

I was always better at dividing the money.

You're coming, Angel.

I may need you to help me grovel if we get caught.

Let's go.

And if you dare bless one person on the way out of here, I will deck you.

You better not take off if we get in trouble. I wouldn't leave you. Yeah,

She wouldn't. She already waited in on the poor rednecks while I was getting

stomped. Yeah, sure. I'm going to really believe that.

Thank you, Lucky Stars, you hired me. I'm watching your offices.

And you've just got a couple of visitors.

Looks like they're trying to break in.

Sure, I recognize them. It's Rockford and that reverend, the guy on TV.

Angel Martin.

Look here, Jim.

You first, then you pull me on. I'm not going first. You are.

Why me?

Because if I go first, you're going to take off and leave me here. Now up you

go. Come on. I'm a different person now, Jimmy. I have an epiphany. I change.

Yeah, you're sleazier. Now up you go. Come on. Come on.

Look at this.

All these movies.

You know what I see here, Jimmy?

Lost business opportunities.

Thirty boycotts hanging on the wall.

Makes me want to cry.

Oh, oh, oh. Get in here.

Now you sit out of that chair and stay here. I'm going to tie you to it.

Don't you start wearing glass.

Are they still over there? Yeah.

Okay. Now, me and Milovan will take over. Oh.

This gives me a little problem here.

What did you say?

That's right.

See, I think you guys are going to go in there and make a body count.

Yeah, so?

So it makes me an accessory before the fact in a double murder.

That's a special circumstance, this beef.

People break in our business.

This is not murder. This is protecting property.

In America, we call the cops.

We let them handle it. But you just can't go in guns a -blazing. It gives me

problem. Because I know you're planning to light these two up.

In any event, it's premeditated murder.

So, how do you suggest we fix this problem?

Maybe the problem just goes away.

If you put me on your permanent payroll, I'll protect you instead of that bunch

of corduroy suits you got working for you now.

For how much? What are you saying?

How much?

How about 100 grand a year?

It's way too high a price for a problem I can solve with two ounces of lead.

Oh, it's all here, Angel, the whole deal.

He bought 40 % of Little Zeke for $5 million.

Picture's gonna gross at least 50.

Means he's going to get 20 million for his five.

Maybe more with the European grosses.

So Bracken Milovan killed him.

This is the motive for the killing, all right. I'm relieved.

You're relieved.

Can we leave?

Hey, hey. There's a survivor clause in here. It says if anyone dies, the

remaining partner can buy the interest back at fair market.

I'm really going to go to the bathroom.

I had to kill him before the weekend grosses came in, because when Danny

died, there was no box office, therefore no adjusted values.

Five million buys them 20.

There's a memo in here that they have exercised the buyback clause. It's dated

June 7th and signed by Branca.

The 7 has one of those crosses through it.

Just like the 7s in the threatening note that Laura Sue got. You know, I thought

at the time that was strange.

You don't see many guys in mohawks making French sevens. I gotta go.

To the bathroom?

No, home. I'm feeling ill. I think I got a whole bad communion waiver.

It is against the law to break in my building.

You're guilty, so you'll have to die.

You have a kind of sketchy concept of the American legal system.

Angels see none.

Witness not and need not perish.

Verily I say unto you... Shut up! Shut up or I kill you now. You make too much

noise and confusion.

Get in. Maybe if you offer him a deaconship.

Excuse me.

Oh, my God!

My God! Are you praying or pleading?

Go to 4616 Atkin Way.

I think you also killed poor Vince Pinguinetti.

We're going to take you to Pinguinetti's boat. You will die there tragically.

Jimmy.

Jimmy. Jimmy. What, Angel? Jimmy, do something.

I don't want to die.

Get in line.

Dear Lord, this is a real one.

This is a legitimate prayer. This time I'm not telling nothing.

This time I'm begging.

Don't let them kill me.

And if you have to take Jimmy, I'll understand because I know how hard it is

save us both.

Amen.

That was very moving.

That's his boat. Let's see now.

You break in.

We break the window and set off the alarm.

Vince comes out with his gun.

Wampa, wampa, couple of shots, everybody dies.

I put the gun in your hand.

You know, this may sound silly, but hear me out.

Would you consider a deaconship? There are huge tax advantages.

Never again do you have to pay the skinny guy in the red, white, and blue

all of your income.

It's Top Street. Tell him about the Palm Springs retreat.

You're both dead men right now. Please, say goodbye. It's time for you to die.

Jimmy, do something.

Well, maybe I'll see you upstairs, but I doubt very much you're going to make

it, Angel.

Try to get him in the truck.

Let's make a deal.

Okay?

There's money.

Lots of it.

From the movie.

Negotiations are over.

taking the deaconship, you would have even got the choir on your birthday.

You're going to be okay.

He almost killed me, Jimmy.

Divine penance.

Oh, my God.

You think the big boss was telling me something?

You, Angel? No.

Just because you've been raising money for starving children and putting it in

your own pocket?

Now, why on earth would that count against you?

I'm through with that church.

That's a good idea, because when this boycott deal comes out, you're going to

on the list with Brother Swaggart and Brother Baker.

Maybe you ought to think about getting out of town before the fraud

investigators get hold of you. They can have their thinly church. I'm out of

here. Jimmy, where should I hide?

Lapland?

See ya.

Feeling so bad about the penguin. I love that guy. He can make you laugh, make

you cry.

Private eye's private eye. Yeah, he was prime proof.

I want to go home, Dennis. You've got the Barclay deal folder. It's the motive

in his murder.

Yeah, we have a little discrepancy in this story.

Millivan and Branca said that you killed Panguinetti. I'm not saying I believe

them. That's what they're saying. And right now, it's their word against

They're alibying each other on Barclay, too.

You're forgetting that their word doesn't mean anything in this town

litigation. Come here.

And then Rockford, he's at the front door.

Then Mr. Penguinetti goes out.

Wampa, wampa, some shooting.

And then Mr.

Penguinetti, he's dead.

You're lying.

I am not used to actors in my film talk to me in that way.

You have one more picture. You be careful or you'll be working with the

next time.

I wouldn't work for you again if I hadn't eaten in a year.

These guys shot Penguinetti right in front of their own office. I saw it. You

lie. You think I'm lying? Yes.

I got the whole thing on film, Bubba.

You know, she has so many good qualities.

Sometimes it's just hard to know where to start.

I'm thinking maybe I'm trying to impress the wrong people.

What do you think?

Well, you've got to make those decisions for yourself.

You know, I don't like Jerry Michaels very much. He didn't care about me until

the movie started to make money, and that's not right. Good point.

I'm thinking maybe I need to worry more about being a good actress than being

famous. I agree.

Honey, me and Stan have something we want to tell you.

What is it, Jim?

I have to tell you that I think that you are a very special girl.

Special in a way that's so rare that you only see it occasionally.

If I had a daughter, I'd want her to be a lot like you.

Because you have courage and honor and talent.

You don't quit on your friends in a crisis.

So me and Stan, we talked it over and we want you to know how we feel.

You are one in a million.

How do you expect your daughter to accept her father's death when you

Desiree Gill made a wish. Desiree wishes that her mommy wouldn't be sad anymore.

And got a miracle.

It traveled thousands of miles and landed at Mermaid Lake.

It's quite good, you guys. Based on a true story.

I just don't think it would hurt for you to break down and have a little fun.

Catch Ellen Burstyn in Mermaid. The story begins tomorrow night at 9 on the

Hallmark Channel, where great stories come to life.