Original subtitles

Okay, we're going to pick up the kids at the birthday party. Thanks. I'd do it,

but... But what?

I don't know. I didn't think you'd follow up on that.

By the way, guys, Christine and I were just talking about how both of our

anniversaries are coming up, and you know how we all usually do something to

celebrate together.

Yeah, we just wanted to say that this year, you guys don't have to do anything

special. Really?

Don't worry about it. Whatever you guys want to do, it's fine.

There it is. We're screwed.

What do you mean? We're off the hook. No, dummy. They've already started

about it. Believe me. They're expecting something big.

Man, how dare they try to manipulate us. You know what?

We should teach them a lesson. We should take them at their word and do

absolutely nothing.

So what are we going to do?

In the last three years, we've taken them to Ruth's Chris for steaks, so

going to be expecting something different this year. God, I hate this.

So much pressure on the anniversary.

It's like we're expected to come up with some magical night. Yeah, and how are

we supposed to make it magical? I mean, for us, it's just another night out at

dinner, hopefully followed by sex.

Exactly, and I get that from Christine three nights a week.

Sex? No, dinner.

The other four nights, I'm on my own.

I wish Kim would come over once in a while and give me some.

Dinner?

Yes, dinner.

Although if she's offering.

So Christine doesn't suspect anything either? Not a clue. She thinks it's just

gonna be a regular anniversary.

Okay, kids are all set with the babysitter.

Oh, you two look beautiful.

Oh, well, it's a special occasion.

How often do we get to go to Ruth's Chris?

Once a year.

Wrong, because we're not going to Ruth's Chris this year.

Oh, Jimmy, you're taking me out, all right? I spent a lot of money on this

outfit, and while I'm returning it, I'd like to have a nice memory.

We're going out.

Just this year, Greg and I thought we'd do something incredible.

That's why we're starting out by taking you to the Blue Fin, this hot new

seafood restaurant.

I read about that place in L .A. Magazine.

Pamela Anderson tried to free a lobster there.

All right, then after dinner, we're going to go see a band.

And I will put it this way.

We own every one of their CDs.

Oh, God.

Jimmy, not the Wiggles.

We're taking you to see a hot little band called Rascal Flash.

Oh, my God! Shut up!

The limo should be here any minute.

A limo? You guys, we told you nothing special.

I haven't seen a limo since our wedding.

Remember when I stood up to the moonroof and I flashed everybody as we were

pulling away from the church?

Yep, that was our last day as Methodists.

Well, a limo's perfect for me because I'm always the one stuck being the

designated driver.

That's because you're the responsible one.

Yeah. I'm going to get hammered.

Wow. It's our 12th anniversary.

Hey, and for you guys, it's the 11th.

What is the traditional gift for the 11th anniversary?

I think it's vodka.

Let's go. Start pouring. All right.

Leonard, there doesn't seem to be any liquor back here.

I know. I prefer a liquor -free limo.

Excuse me, but you do know that limo stands for liquor in motion, right?

Yeah. So why don't you stop at the nearest liquor store, okay, buddy?

All right, sir. Thank you.

Wow, a moonroof.

Maybe after the concert I'll stand up and flash everybody as we're driving

You're still the girl I married.

We got it all. We got vodka, scotch, tequila, and for Greg, wine coolers.

Yep, I got a poor pack of raspberry or a pack of peach.

Okay, Leonard, you can head to the restaurant now.

All right, sir.

All right, let's make some drinks. Yeah, toast the best anniversary ever.

Oh, darn it, that's a twist -off. Anybody got a rag?

Jimmy Hughes, we had a reservation for 6 o 'clock. Sorry, sir. I mean, it would

just be a few more minutes before your table's ready.

Hello. Billy F. Gibbons, party of four.

Of course, Mr. Gibbons. We have a lovely table for you.

Wow. I never saw an Orthodox Jew wear cowboy boots and a leather jacket.

But look at those women.

That guy must be like the Fonz at that synagogue.

Kim, you're kidding, right?

That's Billy F. Gibbons from ZZ Top.

Well, either way, I think he's sitting a little too close to that candle.

I should have asked for his autograph. I love ZZ Top.

Hey, let me see what I can do.

Excuse me, Mr. Gibbons.

Yeah. I hate to bother you, but it's my anniversary. My wife and I, we are

really big fans.

I mean, we've been fans since, you know, since your beard was like this long.

I appreciate that. Could I bother you for an autograph?

Tell you what, since it's your anniversary, let me sign a copy of my

called Rock and Roll Gearhead. Awesome.

About life with the band, cars, guitars.

And as a special treat for your sweetie,

Oh, is he Top Key Change?

Yeah. Oh, thank you so much. This is incredible.

And, you know, these ladies are incredible. And they look exactly like

in all your videos. Dude, they are the daughters.

You're awesome.

Thank you so much. It's going to be really cool reading this.

You know, just to be safe.

Steve Hartman and Victor Brick Jacobs.

We have a 6 .30 dinner reservation.

Of course, gentlemen, your table's ready.

Hey, why'd they seat those guys before us? Are you kidding?

That's Steve Hartman and Victor Brick. They're the loose cannons. They got the

best sports radio show in L .A. Hey, Victor Brick.

Feeling you.

Feeling you. No, feeling you.

Feeling you.

Hey, this is fun.

Maybe on the way out you guys can do taste great, less filling.

Hey, Steve, you think the Lakers are going to win this weekend? I think the

Lakers can win it. But by more than four and a half, I'm trying to get even from

football season.

Yeah, so am I.

That's right. So next time anybody comes in with a recognizable name, we're

going to get bumped again?

No way. If we don't eat now, we're going to be late for the concert.

You know what? You're right. You're right. Okay?

All right. They're clearing that table. We're taking it. I don't care who walks

in. Well, hello, Jimmy.

Family's here.

Are you waiting for a table?

Uh, no, Mr. Svitsky. We're just probably going to get some takeout.

Oh. Well, it's nice to see you all.

Say, Jimmy, can I ask you a question? Sure.

Uh, you wouldn't happen to have a Viagra on you?

I was only expecting two of them.

Oh, there's our car, but I don't see Leonard. Well, he's just probably using

bathroom or something.

I can't believe they kept us waiting in there so long. I totally lost my buzz.

And he totally found it.

I don't believe this. Look at you. You completely smashed.

Is this why you don't keep any alcohol in the car?

Yeah.

What are we supposed to do now?

Well, I'm going to be sick.

I'll call the limo company and see if they can get another driver out here.

my God, he got a little on me. I can't go to a concert with puke on me. Come

Jimmy, I've been to a lot of concerts with you.

Well, I can't walk in that way.

Excuse me.

I don't believe this.

I know.

This night is not going at all like I thought it would.

I figured if Jimmy was going to get in anybody's pants in a limo tonight,

be mine.

You'd do that with us in the back seat?

No, that's disgusting.

I thought, after the concert, we'd park behind a Del Taco and take turns.

Do you know anything about romance?

They said it's going to be at least an hour before they can get another driver

over here.

We can't wait that long. We're running late as it is.

Okay, I'll drive.

What about Leonard?

He can just sleep it off in the passenger seat.

Well, Jimmy, are you okay to drive? You've been drinking.

Kim, I had a drink like one hour ago. I'm fine.

Well, good thing you have a breathalyzer.

I didn't know you had one of those things.

I got it from George Savitsky.

It was in his goodie bag at his last intervention.

God, I've never seen the freeway this jammed. No, we haven't moved in 15

minutes. The concert is starting. Radical Flats is probably on stage right

in those tight jeans, shaking their asses.

This is crazy. Maybe you should get off the highway and take Surfer Street.

You know what? That's a good idea. I think I know a shortcut right up here.

Don't worry, Christine. I'll get you there in time and watch Rascal Flatts

shaking their butts.

It doesn't bother you?

Hey, I don't care if you're watching other guys get you all worked up.

You can even think about them when we're in bed later.

Still the guy I married.

I cut through this alley right here. We should be smooth sailing to the

Paramount Theater.

Jimmy, it's a dead end.

We can't get through here.

Now it must have been the next left.

Well, look, just back out of here. I can't back out into all that traffic.

I'm going to have to get turned around.

It's pretty narrow.

No, no, it's okay. I think I can do it. Greg, I'm just going to need a little

help.

You're good.

Back, back, back, back.

Stop, stop.

You're good.

Forward, forward.

Stop!

Back, back, back, back, back.

Well, I was rolling down the road.

Okay,

let's go.

Can we finally just go straight to the concert, please?

Absolutely.

Right after we find gas station.

Okay, don't waste time parking. Pull up over there, all right? We'll run out.

Maybe we can catch the last few songs.

There's a God in heaven. They haven't played Mayberry yet.

No. I can't believe we missed it.

It sucks.

Fifth row seats, and we blew it.

Maybe they had an off night. Maybe we didn't miss anything after all.

Unbelievable. Three encores.

Damn it!

How about when that chick took a top off and they brought her on stage?

I feel terrible. I really wanted tonight to be a great night.

Me too. I thought this was going to be the best anniversary ever. It's not your

fault. Everything just seemed to go against us. You know, dinner, Tropic

Leonard, now this.

This whole night was a disaster.

Come on, let's go home and try to forget this night ever happened.

Hey, Rascal Flatts. Hey, Matt. I'm ready. Let's go.

This is your limo, gentlemen.

We are a full -service limo company.

Christine is the bartender.

Kim is the... Concierge. Yeah.

And who are you? Me?

He's with corporate. Yeah, he's actually here to do an evaluation.

Right, and if anything's not up to your satisfaction, you let me know.

A full -service limo, only in L .A.

So, can I offer anyone a drink?

Yeah, I'll just take what you got over there.

Thank you.

A peach wine cooler.

I haven't had one of these since I stole it from my sister.

They're surprisingly refreshing.

So, where are we taking you guys tonight, gentlemen?

Well, we're flying out of Van Nuys Airport, but shouldn't you already know

Yes. Yes, he should. And when I get back to corporate, that's going to roll.

I have to tell you guys, I saw you last time you came to L .A. You were amazing.

Thanks. Thanks very much. Yeah, we really had a great time that night.

We? Are you two an item?

Well, how do you think I keep my job?

Have you ever heard of a concierge and a limo?

So, I thought you guys were doing well. Don't you have roadies to take your

guitars? No, we don't want these two guitars out of our sight.

Actually, one of our idols, Merle Haggard, gave those to us.

Uh, excuse me, I need to pull over.

Is everything okay? Yeah.

Mr. Supervisor, I'm going to need to see you up front here.

You do?

Yeah.

Well, I can see why corporate sent me out here. This unit is a mess.

What? Switch with me. What?

No, come on, come on. You guys are back there having such a great time, and I'm

missing everything because I'm stuck watching the road.

You know, speaking of that, you hit a traffic cone about a mile back, and

believe me, I put it down in the report.

It's like a dream come true.

Man, you know, we're no different than you guys. You know, we're not on the

working. We like to hang out with our family and friends.

Yeah, I know. You enjoy boating.

You're a history buff.

And, uh, Joe Don, you like golfing, and you got a dog named Coco.

Yeah, I've been on the website a few times.

Yeah, me too.

Oh, God.

What was that?

Nothing. A little bit of an upset stomach.

Oh.

What is that?

Nothing. Everything's fine.

What are you doing driving my limo?

Where the hell are my pants? All right, here are your people.

Is that Rascal Flatts?

What the hell's going on?

All right, here's the deal. We're not really from a limo company.

Are you kidnappers?

I mean, somebody's probably looking for us by now.

Look, we're just two guys who wanted to take their wives on the greatest

anniversary ever by taking them to your concert. But everything went wrong and

we got there late and the show was over.

Yeah, and then you guys, you got in our limo by mistake.

And so, you know, I just figured, you know, maybe a few minutes with you guys

would kind of make up for the rest of the night going so badly. Check it out.

just shut the door and I just started driving.

For what it's worth it.

More than made up for everything else.

Yeah. Well, we got to meet you guys without the embarrassment of Christine

taking her shirt off.

Hey, we're not at the airport yet.

I hope you can forgive us.

Look, I know how hard anniversaries can be.

If I take my wife to Ruth's Chris one more time, she's probably going to kill

me.

I know you guys have a plane waiting for you, so if you want me to, I'll just

drive straight to the airport.

Y 'all didn't get to come to the concert, so why don't we just step

the limo and maybe we'll sing a little something for you.

My God, we'd love that.

Can you do Broken Road?

I

set

out on a narrow way many years ago.

Hoping I would find true love along the broken road.

But I got lost a time or two.

Wiped my brow and kept pushing through.

Couldn't see how every sign pointed straight to you.

Thank you.

Thank

you.

It led me straight to you.

Oh, yes it did.

But I think about the years I've spent just passing through.

I'd like to have the time I lost and give it back to you.

But you just smile and take my hand.

You've been there, you understand.

I know it too.

That God left the broken road and led me straight to

you.

Happy anniversary, y 'all.

That was great!

Thank you so much! This was the best anniversary ever.

Yeah, it really was.

Don't shoot.

Sorry about the misunderstanding.

You know what?

Leave him on.

It's our anniversary.

You're still the girl I married.