Original subtitles

Wow, you finished vacuuming out your car already?

I couldn't even get started. Jimmy's out on his front lawn chatting with every

neighbor that passes by.

And if I don't join in, I'm a jerk.

Hey, Richie! Oh, look, he's got another one.

This guy doesn't even live in the neighborhood.

No, that's Richie Huebner. He lives right over there.

I thought the guy that lived over there had a beard.

Greg, that guy died.

When? Remember the day you were complaining about the ambulance blocking

driveway?

The point is, I'm never going to get my car cleaned.

I think you're making a big deal out of nothing. Big deal? Kim, it's

excruciating. Listen for yourself.

Well, you two sure picked a great day for a ride. Clear skies.

Not too windy.

Moderate breeze.

Yeah. I'd say a gentle breeze.

You're probably right.

A little hazy this morning. Did you see that? I did. Yeah. Was it around 10,

1030? Yeah.

It burned off. I saw that.

I mean, that's why they don't have two weathermen on the news.

Our neighbors.

Maybe after eight years, you should start talking to them, too. I don't want

talk to them. Why?

Come on, Kim. With all the hours I put in at work, I barely have any time to

spend with the kids.

And you.

Aw.

Hey, I left my cell phone on the driveway. Would you go get it?

No.

You know, it is weird to hide from the neighbors.

You know, when I go running, I wave and smile and say hello.

Well, I'm happy that you're friendly with them. That way, I don't have to be.

Frank.

What did your parents do to you?

God.

Look! What's up, Marty?

Hey, hey. Got a little pie for you, man. Oh, look at you.

Thank you, dude.

All right. See you, Marty. Take care, man. Thank you.

A pie?

Someone just gave him a pie.

I've lived here for eight years, not one pie.

Greg, we got a pie when we moved in.

I believe your response was, we're not eating this. We don't know where it's

been.

We're going for a run.

Hey, Kim. Hey, Richie. Hey, Kim, as long as you're out there, could you... Thank

you.

Family, family, it's family, yeah.

Yeah,

yeah.

Marty, Celia, Richie, I think we live on the best street in the world. I love

meeting all the neighbors.

But didn't you meet them when you were living in our guest house?

I thought they'd all have gone on it because of the poor people living in

guest house.

I've got to say, it's much nicer to be given a pie because we look friendly and

not because we look hungry.

Yep, now we're all equal. We're just a bunch of homeowners standing outside

shooting the breeze.

Is that a moderate breeze or a gentle breeze, Jimmy?

Was that great? I just don't get it, Jimmy. All that small talk with the

neighbors. I mean, how about the weather to the polite code for I have nothing

to say?

I do have something to say about the weather.

Jimmy can talk about the weather for hours, and that's just here in L .A.

there is no weather.

We should have seen him when we lived in Maryland.

Yeah, back in Maryland this one time at a bus stop, I talked for 20 minutes

about the flood.

At the end, people were clapping.

Cindy and Mel loved your story about the blizzard of 87.

Yeah, yeah, you know what? They made me tell it to Frank and Lisa at the Shays'

barbecue. Shays had a barbecue?

Who are the Shays?

Greg, the Shays live 50 feet from this table.

Oh, the Shays, the Shays, good people.

Were there many other couples from the street there?

Not as many as there were at the Henderson's last Sunday.

What's going on? How many parties have you guys been to lately?

I don't know, a few.

What's the difference? I thought you guys didn't care about this stuff. We

don't. I do.

It sounds like there's a whole social life going on in this neighborhood that

know nothing about.

Well, don't worry about it. Jimmy and Christine can always fill us in.

You know, that's the attitude that's keeping us from being invited anywhere.

You're so antisocial. People think you don't like them.

I like them plenty as long as they keep the hell away from me.

Nothing happened, Kim. I do it every day at work.

Nice tie.

Mondays, huh?

Working hard, hardly working.

Eckhart seems nice.

Yeah, I like him, too.

Well, he's a fake.

Well, if you can fake it at work, you can fake it here, too. I'm not letting

drive the neighbors away anymore.

That's it. We're having a barbecue.

Here?

Kim, you know, once we invite them into our home, that's it. They're in for

life.

Okay, okay.

How about Saturday?

Saturday's fine.

Saturday's no good.

What? Is there another party we're not invited to?

No, 60 % chance of rain Saturday.

I have got to eat something.

Not until the guests get here.

Christine, the invitation said 1 o 'clock. It's 3 .30, okay?

We don't eat soon. It'll be time for dinner, and I won't have had my lunch.

You never get back the meals you miss, Kristen.

You never get them back.

It's an open house. People will come.

One chip.

Fine. Just don't mess anything up. Thank you.

What? I told you not to mess anything up. Look at the dip. You left a divot.

Oops. Well, I will replace my divot.

you could have one chip, and you've now had three.

Yep.

I might let you do something. I was scheming to get more. That is not true.

Oh, yeah?

How did a back rub turn into a feckin' kid?

Who's here? Nobody.

Kim's just checking the doorbell again.

Well, we gave it a shot.

You guys could hear that, right?

Yeah, yeah, we heard it.

Kim, I think we just have to face facts.

I'll get it. Okay, it's going to be fun, honey.

I swear, if they spend more than 30 minutes here, I'm going to tell them our

got out.

I'll give you 10 bucks to get behind the fence and bark.

Hey, our first guests are here.

Hey, so glad you could make it. This is Will and Tammy.

Hi. This is my husband.

My sister Christine and her husband Jimmy.

They live next door. Oh, nice to meet you all. You have a beautiful home.

Oh, I'm surprised we haven't met before. Oh, that's because we just moved in on

Monday. Thank you so much for inviting us. It's been really hard not knowing

of our neighbors for a whole week.

Oh, that must be awful.

So, where are all the neighbors?

Yeah, we're not quite sure.

Hey, this isn't that day that you set the clock back three hours, is it?

Will, Tammy, jump right in. There's burgers.

coleslaw dinner rolls.

Again, thank you so much for coming.

Greg, would you like to offer our guests a beer? I would like that. I would like

that very much. Would you like a beer?

Yeah, I'll take one. Oh, me too. Oh, super. I'll have one. Eat it yourself.

not an octopus.

Did you invite many people, Kim? Oh, everyone in the block.

But, you know, maybe there's traffic.

But they live on the block.

They could be coming from somewhere else.

I'm sorry. I didn't mean to snap. I don't know why they haven't shown up

But, you know, what can you do?

You plan a party. You spruce up your home.

Rent all the decorations.

You handwrite on each invitation because you think these people are worth it.

And then, Kim.

Um, maybe we should go.

Oh, no, no, no. Wait, wait, Tammy. I'm sorry. I don't know why I just lost it

there for a second. It's okay, Kim. Look, you seem nice, but obviously

something going on between your neighbors and you. Oh, no, no, no. It's

It's Greg.

They hate Greg.

But he's been getting better. I mean, you saw it.

Besides, all we want is to be part of the neighborhood.

Well, that's all we want, too.

Stop them!

We might as well face it. No one else is coming.

people tracking dirt through our house and no one clogged up one of our

Uh, actually...

Please tell

me you tracked dirt through the house.

You know, I can't believe this. All this time, I thought that my problem was

that you didn't like the neighbors.

My real problem is they don't like...

Why wouldn't the neighbors like me? They don't even know me. How could they know

you? You never talk to them. You don't even take the garbage cans out to the

curb unless you're wearing those bulky headphones.

They're not even plugged into anything.

Yeah, I think they figured that out.

Jimmy, I need your help.

Okay, I can probably get some of this cornbread down, but that's about it.

help winning the neighbors back.

I feel terrible.

I feel like I messed up something really important to Kim.

Well, what do you want me to do?

Well, I don't know. You're always out on the front lawn chatting with them.

Maybe you could talk me up a little.

Look, people aren't going to believe me. They got to see that from you.

Well, then throw a big party over at your house. Everyone will show up and I

win them over there.

I don't know, Greg. Come on, Jimmy.

All right, fine.

But listen, if you're really serious about making friends with the neighbors,

then you're going to have to work on your small talk.

Ugh, I just hate it so much.

I mean, if I'm going to have to talk to people, I'd like to at least talk about

something interesting.

Like what?

I don't know, like the European Union. I mean, are they going to hold it

together or what?

Oh, my God, what kind of party would this be?

I'm on my third beer, this guy wants to talk about Japan.

is not in the European Union.

See what happens when we do it your way? People just end up feeling stupid.

Well, just so I don't have to talk about the weather. Oh, no, you're going to

talk about the weather.

Yeah. And you're going to talk about which neighbor's cat had kittens.

And then you're going to talk about the weather some more.

Because those are the things that normal people like me and your neighbors would

like to talk about.

Well, maybe you're not giving your neighbors enough credit. Maybe if you

them a chance, they would love to talk about something interesting.

Yeah, I doubt it. But you know what?

Let's find out tomorrow morning.

My front lawn.

Fine. I'll be there. But I must warn you, there's one or two neighbors that

might be under the impression that I don't speak English.

Hey, hey, Frank.

Jimmy, can you believe this heat?

Yeah.

High pressure front.

You said it.

Hey, well, look who it is. Hey.

Have you met my brother -in -law, Greg?

I don't think so.

How you doing, Greg Warner?

Frank White. I'll tell you, Greg is the greatest. He is generous, he is kind,

and he let Christian and I live in his guest house for four years.

Really? That's really something.

Where was that?

Here, I lived here. I lived at that house right next door.

Oh.

What happened to that nice single mother who used to live there?

Kim, was it? That's my wife.

Hey, good for you.

Thanks. Good for those kids, too, having a man in the house again.

No, see... Hey, uh, Frank, you know what? Your lawn's looking great.

Thanks. Just started mowing it the other direction.

Oh, it shows.

Just hope those sprinklers hold up while I'm away on vacation next week.

Another vacation?

Nice. This one was Lisa's idea.

So instead of golf, we're headed to New York City. New York City? Now, there's

something interesting to talk about. I love New York. Jimmy, hear that? Frank's

going to New York City.

Ah, plan on seeing some theater?

God, I hope not.

You've been to New York before.

Oh, please. I go twice a year. It's one of the most incredible places in all the

world. Let me ask you something, Ben.

I'm at your disposal.

Restaurants, museums.

Do you think it'll rain?

Pardon?

I'm supposed to be there all next week.

I heard it might rain.

Do you really want to talk about the weather?

Yeah, well, it's October. Of course it's going to rain. It's a really dicey

weather month.

Just like here.

I better pack an umbrella.

Oh, not really. I mean, as soon as the sidewalk's wet, there's a guy on

practically every corner selling umbrellas.

Wow.

I bet those guys know the weather better than anyone.

That's interesting. I never thought about that. When I get there, I'm going

ask one of those guys which forecast he follows.

And I'd love to hear their answers when you get back. Count on it. All right.

Great meeting you, man. Nice to meet you, Frank.

to go, Greg.

So you're telling me aluminum siding isn't even available anymore?

Well, see, you can't buy it in most stores.

It's either steel or vinyl these days.

I didn't know that, Marty.

A lot of people don't. I'm glad I bumped into you. You too.

So Tito's has the best burritos?

Yep. But for an enchilada, you gotta go to Lucy's. I will.

Where would I go for tamales?

Hey, we're not that close yet.

You know, I can't believe that you've lived on this street for eight years and

I've never seen you around.

Oh, you know.

No. Tell me, Greg.

What's your story?

Where have you been?

The truth?

Of course.

I was liberating a government in Micronesia.

They held me hostage for 16 months.

It rained almost every day.

Oh, God.

What was that like?

Liberating a government?

No. 16 straight months of rain.

Which was the blast I was going to buy in the first place.

the receipt i'm gonna get some more sangria you you have a full cup right

excuse

me it's going great isn't it yeah pretty good i guess i

mean my face hurts from smiling so much hey you guys don't cut in

Social butterfly?

Last time he got this much attention at a party, someone was dicking him with an

EpiPen and screaming, hold his leg!

Christine, I think something's wrong.

The women are being so cold to me. I doubt that. You know what? How about

tequila, Paula, and slushie with me? It'll feel a lot better.

There you are, Christine.

Lisa! Hi!

Oh, you know my sister, Kim?

I'll talk with you later.

That was kind of chilly.

Me? I don't understand.

Me neither.

Maybe Tammy doesn't know. Uh, Tammy?

Hi, Christine. Oh, thank you so much for having us over. I've met so many nice

people here.

I mean, they've been nice to me.

Not on anybody's side.

All right, what is going on? Has anyone told you why they're being so hard on

Kim? I'd rather not say.

Look, There's something you should know about me.

Tequila makes me horny and mean.

And Jimmy and I just had a quickie.

Talk to Fran.

Uh,

Fran?

Hi. Christine,

I don't want to have a confrontation here. I'm here to make friends.

Um, apparently you and... some of the other women in the neighborhood have a

problem with my sister?

I'm sure it's just a little misunderstanding.

And if you're uncomfortable talking about... Do you really want to talk

here?

I'm sure. Spit it out.

Okay, fine.

The way you parade around in your skimpy little jogging outfit doesn't make life

any easier on the rest of us.

What? Nothing a hooded sweatshirt couldn't solve, huh?

How dare you?

You don't like how I look? So you ostracize me?

I don't believe this.

We can't believe it either.

Watching you, then watching our husbands watching you.

Is that right?

Well, I'm sorry to be such a distraction to all you people.

But rather than take responsibility for yourselves, it's easier just to blame

me. Well, you know what?

Maybe your husbands wouldn't watch me so much if you got off your asses and

exercised once in a while.

He's kind of mad. Yeah, but not at me.

You know what? Do me a favor.

Stay away from me. And stay away from my family. Come on, Greg.

My hot wife just drove away all the neighbors.

Nice to meet you all. And hey, guys.

Thanks for staring...

He all right?

Hey, if he's having a sex dream.

And a cold front from the north will be rolling in this evening, pushing warm

air over the San Gabriels into the Inland Empire.

On the coast, a low pressure front out over the Pacific Ocean will result in

four to six foot waves.

Howabunga.

And as you can see on our exclusive AccuJimmy radar... Oh.

Hot dream?

Mid -60s at the beaches.

A little warmer in the valley.