Original subtitles

Hey, guys.

Jimmy.

What are you doing here?

You know you moved next door, right?

That wasn't a dream, was it? Tell me that wasn't a dream.

My satellite doesn't have the NASCAR package.

I never ordered the NASCAR package.

Yeah, I did when I lived here.

You know, Greg, you're a great accountant at work, but at home you miss

It's good they're on a caution. I can finally go to the bathroom.

Hey, you know, it's funny. They got the yellow out in about a minute. We get it,

Jimmy. Very clever.

I swear, ever since he's moved next door, he's over here more than when he

in the guest house. If I could operate a backhoe, I'd build a moat.

If he's going to finish off our milk, he could have at least done it before we

went to the store.

Annoying. Excuse me?

I'm just saying, when they lived here, I didn't mind seeing them every day. But

they've got their own house now. How about giving us a little breathing room?

And it's not just Jimmy. It's Christine, too.

Now, every time I turn around, she is over here. I swear, there are conjoined

twins that spend less time with their sisters.

Look at you making jokes about Jimmy and Christine.

This is great. Finally something we can do together.

Shh.

Hey, Dominic. What are you doing over here?

My mom told me to bring over the rest of our dirty clothes.

Here you go, Mom.

Your washing machine's broken.

Which is fine, because we've got one which you're always welcome to use.

it, Kim, all right? I heard everything you said about us being over here too

much. Well, I'm sorry you had to hear that. But you know where you can't hear

talking about you being at our house too much? At your house.

Hey,

you guys didn't pick up any more Cheetos, did you?

All natural cheese puffs? Put down the bag, Jimmy. You're not eating those.

You got that right? What is this, some kind of a joke or something?

Christine, what are you doing?

God forbid I use your washing machine anymore.

Apparently, we've spent too much time here and Kim wants a little breathing

room. Look, I'm sorry I said that. You know what? It's fine. I'm leaving. Oh,

and you know what? By the way, we won't be joining you for your little dinner

party tonight. I'd hate to take up any more of your precious breathing room.

But the woman from my yoga class and her husband are coming over tonight. I

wanted you to meet them. Well, you know what? That's okay.

All right, we'll make friends on our own. You're right.

We've depended on you guys for far too much already.

Christine, would you just let me clarify? Clarify what?

You don't want me around anymore. I don't think you could have made that any

more clear.

Jimmy, would you talk to her?

No, Kim, she's right. It's very obvious that you don't want me around here

either. I don't think you could have made that any more clear.

So nice of you to have us over.

I don't know if Kim told you, but we're new to town. We just moved here for

Scott's job.

So what line of work are you in, Scott? I'm a computer network engineer. I

operate the company's internal database infrastructure.

Wow, that's very impressive, I guess.

I'm not very good with computers. I don't really know too much about them.

the first six months, I thought our CD tray was a drink holder.

Scott, you a big basketball fan?

Absolutely.

I mean, I love basketball.

That's great. You know, sometimes I get to use my boss's Laker tickets. We

should catch a game sometime.

Oh, man.

Lakers. That would be sweet. You know?

There you go.

A little fist bump waiting.

Yeah. Give it up for the Lakers. Lakers. Late show.

So, Pam, how's your job going?

It's all right, I guess.

I get along with most of the people I work with, but my boss kind of rubs me

wrong way.

Oh. You should talk to human resources. I don't think he's supposed to be

rubbing you at all.

You!

friends over tonight, and I'm out to dinner alone.

Hey, you're not alone. You're with us.

It's not like you're out to dinner on a Saturday night by yourself.

Oh, that would be depressing.

We're not friends, Jimmy. You know, we need to start meeting new people.

Christine, that's stupid, okay? I have plenty of friends, okay? We don't need

meet anybody new.

What friends do we have?

My friends from work.

Yeah, but those are your friends, you know?

We need to meet someone together.

There's got to be other people out there who need friends.

Right? I mean, someone we can both go to dinner with. I mean, besides, all your

friends are single.

Right? You need to find someone that has a wife or at least a girlfriend.

I mean, how did this happen, Jimmy? We used to have all kinds of friends that

were couples back in high school.

Nothing like taking the family out to dinner, huh? Oh, tell me about it.

They make a great bacon cheddar burger here.

What? The bacon cheddar burger.

It's a winner.

Christine, what are you doing?

I'm making conversation.

My name is Christine.

I'm Susan.

Nice to meet you. Nice to meet you, too. This is my husband, Jimmy. Oh.

Hi.

So.

My husband, Patrick.

Hey.

Oh, thanks again.

I am so glad we met. I thought everyone in L .A. was going to be shallow and

phony. Well, trust me, we're completely phony. We're just really good at it.

I want to hang out with those people again, ever.

What am I going to do? She's in my yoga class.

Switch yoga classes. Ignore her. Don't return her phone calls. I don't care

you do. Just ditch them.

I don't want to be rude. I'll figure out some way to do it nicely.

Can you believe that guy with all the fist bumping? My knuckles haven't been

this sore since my golden glove days.

Oh, please. You used to box when you were younger? No, my mom used to make me

wear these girly yellow mittens during the winter.

The other kids would hold me down while they stomped on my hands.

No, you guys live around here?

Well, sort of. We're over by the kids, Doug.

I'm sorry, it's a little hard to talk when the kids are over here. Oh, no, I

understand.

You know what? We should get together sometime without the kids.

Excuse me?

Yeah, you know, have dinner?

Maybe a game night?

Sure, that sounds nice.

Great, great. Well, why don't you write down your phone number and then we'll

figure it out.

Hey, I was coloring that.

You'll get it back in a second.

Play with the salt.

There you go.

Hey, thanks.

This isn't a fake number, is it? No.

Did you see her face when I said that?

I think she gave me a fake number.

If she's smart, she did.

Christine, what are you doing?

I'm checking to see if it's a fake number. Yeah, and what are you going to

it's not a fake number? Well, when the machine picks it up, I'll hang up.

Hello?

Hi, it's me.

Did you pass the ketchup?

You have ketchup.

Oh, look at that.

It was in my blind spot.

Have you decided what you'd like?

Yes, we'd like a different table, please.

It could be a 20 to 30 minute wait.

Right. We don't mind waiting.

Actually, ma 'am, if you don't mind, I'd like another table, too, please.

Hey there, stranger.

Hey! Hi.

What are you doing here?

After yoga class, Kim and I were talking about hanging out, but she said she had

too much housework to do, and I figured if she had some help, she'd be done

quicker and we could hang out. Well, aren't you sweet?

You two have fun.

Hey, sports fan, grab a dust rag. Make yourself useful.

We've got some trivial pursuit to play. Men against the women. Oh, great.

Thank you.

What happened to the plan? You were supposed to take care of this. I tried.

told her I was busy, but she wouldn't take no for an answer.

The more excuses... I mean, the more she insisted on helping me. Well, I'm not

hanging out with those two tonight.

Hit me once, shame on you. Hit me 25 times, those people are freaking crazy.

I don't know how we're going to get rid of them. They won't take a hint.

Well, they won't have to.

Enough hinting. I'm going to go in there and be firm.

Well, we're all going to Catalina next weekend on their boat.

What?

I thought you said you were going to be firm. I was. I told them we couldn't see

them anymore because our schedules were too hectic, but they somehow turned that

around until we all needed a relaxing weekend in Catalina.

Hey, hey, hey. Time to lean, time to clean. That dishwasher's not going to

itself.

They're so clingy. I don't know how we're going to get rid of them.

You know, I don't think they have any other friends.

What if they did have other friends?

What if we knew a couple that, say, lived next door that needed some new

friends? We could pass them off on Jimmy and Christine.

Like scraping our shoe on a rock.

Looks like Kim and Greg are having their new friends over again.

Oh, yeah?

You think there might be some witchcraft going on over there, too, Mrs. Kravitz?

Oh, God.

Kim's coming over here.

Turn that off. I don't want to know we're sitting around watching TV.

Here, pretend you're reading this book.

Don't just stare at it. So maybe you're not really reading. Move your lips.

Uh -huh.

Uh -huh.

Talk to some new friends of ours.

Oh,

are you kidding?

We would love to go to dinner Friday night.

Hey, Jimmy.

Hey, Kim. Just catching up on some reading.

Great, great.

Well, Friday night it is.

What? No way.

Oh.

You are too funny.

Yeah, yeah, Jimmy's right here. Hold on.

Patrick wants to talk to you.

Hey, buddy.

I'm going to take this in the other room.

Oh, really?

Well, tell your wife that she has beautiful eyes, too.

You were Patrick and Susan.

Oh, the people we met at Danny's.

I hit it off like crazy.

So? What's up?

Actually, I wanted to apologize about the stuff I said the other day about you

guys being around too much.

Really? Yeah.

We really missed you guys. Even Greg.

He was just saying, we have got to get Jimmy and Christine over here.

Oh, that's really sweet.

Well, maybe tomorrow night. It has to be tonight. Let's not lose another day.

But I thought you guys had company.

Oh, it's just Pam and Scott, who, by the way, you guys are going to love.

Well, isn't your wife a sweetie?

You know what? You tell her that I think that she, too, carries herself with a

certain grace and beauty.

Now, listen, buddy, I was wondering if...

Listen,

Patrick, that's my other line. I'm going to need to get this.

Hello? We bought that phone in Tijuana.

Apparently in Mexico, with the call waiting, it actually rings.

Okay, they're on their way over. I just hope we can pull this off. We just have

to get through tonight.

Once they cling to Jimmy and Christine, they're their problem. I think they're

going to like him. We just need to keep Scott and Orange linked away from anyone

he might try to fist bump.

And we can't have Pam laugh. We need to make sure nobody says anything funny.

Right. Maybe you should do most of the talking.

Fine. I'll control the conversation.

But if you see me getting into trouble, jump in about that summer that you and

your girlfriends went to Paris. That one's a real snoozer.

But you like that story.

Pam, you spoke French, drank wine, and forgot to tip a waiter. It's not exactly

Raiders of the Lost Ark.

So how did you and Jimmy meet?

Oh, well, actually, that's a pretty funny story.

How do you tell it's funny? I'll tell it, I'll tell it.

They met in high school and became high school sweethearts, and, well, here we

are.

High school sweethearts, wow.

Yeah, yeah, it was a pretty wild time. And some rough times.

That was around the time our parents got divorced.

Does either of you come from a broken home?

No.

So anyways, I got a funny story.

The other day, I'm working the guard gate and Will Ferrell drives up.

And he's on the lift, but he doesn't have any ID. That is funny.

But you know what's not funny? The other day, I saw a kitten get run over by a

car.

Oh no, that's terrible.

Yeah, the kitten belonged to a little girl. She saw the whole thing.

Well, he makes you stop and think.

Okay, so anyway, the funny part of my story is that... I mean, we don't have

time for funny stories, okay? A little girl lost her kitten.

Forever.

Um, so, uh, Pam, uh, where did you and Scott meet?

Oh, we both work for the same company in Seattle. Oh, Seattle.

Seattle. Oh, man, I have... always been a huge Seahawks fan. All right, go

Seahawks! You know,

Jimmy and I were watching Sleepless in Seattle last night. We were laughing so

hard. I heard Seattle has a really high suicide rate.

Do you guys know anyone that's ever, you know, committed suicide?

I guess it's just a matter of time.

And at night, my girlfriends and I would sit at this little cafe along the

Champs -Élysées where they had the best aged camembert.

We would spend the whole night eating cheese, drinking wine, and conversing

the Parisians in their native tongue.

Well, we should probably get going. Yeah.

do this again next weekend.

Oh, wait, I forgot. We're going with Pam and Scott on their boat to Catalina.

You know what? There's plenty of room. You guys should come along.

Oh, really? Yeah, really. Oh, that sounds like fun.

Oh, great. We'll see you this Saturday. Yeah. It was great meeting you guys.

You've got to love this boat.

Oh, yeah, it's great.

And sometimes out on the water, you see some interesting wildlife.

Oh, well, you might see some on the boat, too, depending on what kind of

you serve me and Jimmy.

What do you mean?

That hurts.

Really? Oh, my gosh.

I had no idea.

Well, thank you so much for telling me.

I'm so embarrassed. I promise I won't ever do that again.

Good. Didn't want to have to throw you off the boat.

Oh, and the boat?

Saddle that dish. So, college football.

What is that?

A little fist bump.

You're kidding, right?

No, what? I mean, people do it. I saw it on TV.

When was the last time you watched TV?

1993?

Put that away.

I told you it was stupid.

Oh, you guys, we have to apologize.

It's just that it's been so long since we had to make new friends, we're

nervous. And I think we've been trying too hard.

Believe me, I know how you feel.

I made a woman at Denny's change tables and cell phone plans all in the same

night.

Wow.

Honesty.

Who knew?

You guys want to hear something really funny?

We couldn't stand the fist -bumping and laugh -slapping thing either.

Well, you must have thought we were lunatics. Oh, we did.

and we can all hang out.

Yeah, I mean, you know, as long as we're being honest, you guys are a little

depressing.

Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no. That was just an act to get you to hang out with

those guys.

Oh, but none of that matters now.

Wait a second. That's why you asked us to come over here?

Was it what, you just lied when you said you missed us?

Well, you tried to pawn us off on them?

That's weird.

I can't believe you guys.

Yeah, that is so whack.

It was nice seeing you.

Jimmy and Christine will see us out. All right, maybe we'll see. Bye.

Wait, it's not that big a deal. You guys are making too much of this.

You're not really going to go out on their boat without us.

Yeah, I think maybe we could use a little breeding room.

Did you hear that?

She stole my friend and my line.

That is so whack.

Sir, you fell asleep in your pancakes again.

Listen, my friends and I noticed you were sitting alone.

You mind if I take that chair?