Original subtitles

Uh -uh, uh -uh. Logan, you can't leave until you finish dinner.

But I hate peas.

Those aren't peas.

Those are freeze -dried M &M's.

Just like the astronauts eat.

But the secret is, you can't taste the candy until after you swallow them.

Try it, Mom.

Think you can trick me?

You think you can trick me?

I finally got it. What's that?

It's a little secret video I've been working on. It's a movie about you and

Christine celebrating your love.

Kids, why don't you go out back and play?

Okay, look, first of all, you have no right secretly taping us, but fine,

us. We had sex in the car.

I just edited the video footage from your wedding for your anniversary.

But thanks for telling us what you did in Greg's car.

At least that explains footprints on the inside of the windshield.

Oh, God, I don't think I've ever even sat down and seen all the footage from

wedding. Well, Dad took a ton of it. Greg's been working on putting it all

together on his new computer for the past few months.

Oh, Greg, thank you so much.

It's the nicest gift I've ever gotten.

I don't know how we're going to repay you. Well, a gift certificate for a full

detail on a car is always a thoughtful gift.

Come on, Christine, put it in. Let's check it out. Okay.

No, wait. How did you get... It's Schneider. He was on the lot for an

He was sitting next to me at the commissary during lunch.

Schneider has to audition?

But he's a legend.

I know. The guy won an Emmy. It's ridiculous.

I mean, how did Schneider not get a spinoff and Flo from Alice did?

Well, she was obviously going around kissing more than grit.

Hi.

I'm Pat Harrington. Many of you know me from my stage productions, including The

Golden Fleecing, The House of Blue Leaves.

Of course, Show Boat, where I was directed by Hal Prince, Broadway legend,

that for a year, loved it. Hey, Snyder, what are you doing here? Fixing the

sink?

May 3rd, 1994.

To most people, that's just another Thursday morning. But to a young Jimmy

Hughes and Christine Ludkey, that was their wedding day.

The start.

of spending their life together one day at a time.

In a house in Western Maryland, the bride anxiously gets ready for her

day. Shut up, Mom. Just shut up, okay?

All I did was ask if your future husband had any idea how he was going to

support you guys.

It's been quite a while since he got fired from his job. He didn't get fired.

quit, okay? He doesn't like the corporate world with all its rules and

regulations, okay? He wants to do things on his terms.

He doesn't need the man. Tell him it needs to be there in 30 minutes or less.

Across town, the groom and his friends were busy preparing

for the big day as well.

Hey, how you doing, Don?

Nice camera.

Anyway, I'm Billy. I'm the best man, which means today I have to make a

which really sucks because public speaking makes me really, really

buddy, I know exactly what you're talking about. One time in junior high,

to give a speech to the whole school.

My retainer accidentally hit the microphone and I was electrocuted. I was

for an hour and a half and didn't grow hair under my arm until my freshman year

in college. Even then, it didn't come in even.

Hey, the holidays are a big day.

I'm Big Jimmy, the groom's father. We're just here waiting for little Jimmy to

come out.

Looks like little Billy already came out. Uh -oh, look at that. Looks like

someone came out to say hello.

Pay attention, because if it comes out, sees the shadow, goes back in the boxes,

that means it's going to be a long turbo.

Here comes the mother of the groom.

Don, get that damn thing away from me.

Where's my gown?

It's hanging in the bathroom.

Stop touching my hair. But, honey, it's your wedding day. You should wear it up.

I like it down. It looks so pretty up. I don't want to wear it up. If you just

give it a chance.

Don't be embarrassed, honey. I had a bunch of hickeys on my wedding day, too.

It's the reason I had to wear pantyhose.

Here we go. Here's the groom right here.

You nervous, buddy? A little bit. A little bit. You sure are.

Forehead's all sweaty.

Dude, that's not my forehead. That's your hand.

Oh, sorry.

I used the whole can of antiperspirant. It's got to come out somewhere.

Kitty, we've got to get to the church. Keep your pants on.

Whoa.

That was cool, huh?

The place forgot to put my pants in there with my tux. What am I supposed to

for pants? Did you take the socks out of my bag?

Big Jim, they didn't come with socks.

Oh, you're kidding.

You got a black magic marker?

We really have to go.

All right, all right. I was looking for the plunger, but whatever.

Not my house.

Is someone going to tell her her dress is on backwards? Screw it. We're late.

Okay, let me guess. Friends of the groom.

I feel stupid in these pants.

No, you look great. No, I don't. I look like a redneck rapper.

Look, just relax. You're fine.

Smile for the camera.

Who's this?

It's my wedding gift for you and Christine.

I hired the photographer. Smart guy's a marjorie.

Try to keep that in a cool, dark place for the next five minutes or so.

Greg, what are you doing? The tuxedo guy just brought your pants. All right,

that's great, but you just tracked mud all the way down the aisle.

Oh, jeez.

Yeah, I don't think that's mud.

What the hell are you doing here?

You can't do both.

Unfortunately, the father of the bride... Excuse me. Is someone using

chair?

No, no. Go ahead.

Go ahead, yes.

Schneider. You're Schneider. God, I used to love you on that show. Do you think

I could... We're shooting something, sir. Hot set, okay? You're on a hot set.

Unfortunately, the father... The father of the bride slash cameraman fell asleep

during the ceremony. Now, we're not going to make you sit through all... of

footage, but here is a small clip.

Do you, Christine, take Jimmy to be your husband?

I do.

And do you, Jimmy, take Christine to be your wife?

I do.

Right, and now to say a few words, our best man, Billy Kalavita.

And today we celebrate that love.

Sweet, sweet love.

And that little kid who threw the dead bird at me turned out to be my lifelong

pal, Jimmy Hughes.

And I haven't had the pleasure of being with Christine myself, but

I have certainly heard all the stories.

And if half of them are true, Jimmy Hughes, you are one lucky man.

Once upon a time I was falling in love.

Now I'm only falling in love.

There's nothing I can do. Total eclipse of the heart.

Jimmy and Christine, I want to wish you... Congratulations,

Christine and Jimmy.

It's just such a beautiful day.

I can't believe that you guys finally did it.

You guys are perfect for each other.

I want to wish you... We wish you all the luck.

Luck? You were supposed to say that.

No, I wasn't.

Yes, you were.

We wish you all the best of luck. Now you've said the whole thing. Can we

over again?

I want to wish you good... I want to wish you good health.

Oh, my God, this is our first dance.

In a world few hearts abide.

All I know is the way I feel.

When it's real, I keep it.

Where are you going? You haven't seen my tear -jerking slow -motion montage yet.

I've seen enough.

Christine, what's wrong?

You had to put that in there, didn't you? What?

Your engagement.

Of course he did. That was a very big moment. For you?

It was my wedding, Kim. It wasn't supposed to be about you.

You guys had to get engaged that day, didn't you? I mean, all anyone talked

about for the rest of the night was your ring and when you were going to get

married and where it was going to be.

I mean, you stole my day.

And you know what? It took me a while to get over it, but I did.

And now this? You make me a wedding video and it's still all about you.

All you guys ever think about is yourself.

You keep letting yourself sit about Greg and me getting engaged at your wedding.

How come you didn't say anything back then?

Well, Kim, you just got engaged. What was I supposed to do? Make a scene? Ruin

my sister's big day? I mean...

What do you think I am, you?

Besides, did she really need to say something? I mean, couldn't you tell she

in a bad mood the rest of the day? I always thought you were mad at Jimmy.

Jimmy? Yeah, I always thought you were mad at Jimmy because he had second

thoughts after the wedding and almost walked out during the reception.

What?

You tried to run out on our marriage during the reception?

No, no, no.

Thanks, Greg.

Sorry, I thought she knew.

It was one little moment of weakness.

So, uh, how long you been dating Christine's sister?

About two years.

She's, uh, bookworm type, isn't she?

Those are the ones you gotta watch out for. I don't think so.

Kim says she's saving herself for marriage.

Well, lucky for Jimmy, he got the sister who didn't even save herself for prom

night.

Hey, son, where you going? Oh, uh, I'm just going to go out and get some air.

What's going on?

Look, Dad, I feel horrible about this, but I think I made a big mistake with

this whole wedding thing. I don't know what I was thinking. I'm not ready to be

married. I'm not ready for this. I've got to get out of here.

I'll get the car.

I can't believe this.

Oh, come on, Christine.

We're still married.

Besides, I wasn't the only one having doubts.

When the priest asked if anyone had any reasons why we shouldn't be married,

somebody's hand shot up and looked like a cattle auction.

You should have told me about that.

How could you have had doubts about my sister?

She was marrying a guy whose highest achievement was climbing a water tower

spray painting ACDC.

And misspelling it.

You know, you should stay out of this. If it wasn't for me having doubts, your

husband wouldn't have accidentally proposed.

Shh, shh, shh.

You accidentally proposed?

Greg, did you accidentally propose to me? No, no, no.

Thanks, Jimmy. Oh, I'm sorry. I thought she knew.

Jimmy, I know this is none of my business. I don't want to talk about it,

I made up my mind. It's the best thing for everybody.

But you and Christine seem so happy.

Yeah, we are now.

But what about 10 years from now when I'm like floating around from job to job

with no college education?

How am I supposed to support a family? I can't even support myself.

You're not having doubts about Christine. You're having doubts about

We all have doubts about ourselves.

But if we're lucky, we find somebody that believes in us. Christine believes

you. So what? There's no reason to get married. What are you kidding me? It's

the only reason to get married. Look, two years ago, I bought this suit when I

was going to ask my ex -girlfriend to marry me. She said no, and I was

devastated. So I put the suit in the closet. I never looked at it again.

Shoot, I couldn't even bring myself to take the ring back. It was in my pocket

when I put the suit on this morning.

My point is that she wasn't the right person for me.

And that was never more apparent than when I saw you and Christine in that

church today.

The way she looked at you, Jimmy, you got no money, no education, barely a

career to speak of, and the only thing you got going for you is you're not

incarcerated and you got a great head of hair.

Thanks, I try to take care of it.

And still, Christine looks at you like you're the only man on earth. If that

doesn't make her the right person for you, then I don't know what does. I

know what you're saying, but that just...

Come here, come here.

Look, I'm going to say something to you now, and I don't want you to say

anything. I want you to just listen.

Everybody out there has a special person, and hopefully one day you'll

special person. And if you do, you have to seize the opportunity.

You have to hold on to them for the rest of your life.

You have to decide now, are you ready to seize that opportunity? Are you ready

to hold on to your soulmate for the rest of your life?

I'm ready to spend the rest of my life with my soulmate.

What's that?

I will marry you, Greg Warner.

I will marry you.

Are you kidding me?

Are you kidding me? It was a mistake?

Getting married to me was a mistake?

I'm starting to think that, yeah.

Do you think this is funny?

Come on, I would have asked you to marry me eventually.

I mean, probably.

Come on, I'm kidding.

Lighten up.

By the way, if you really believed me when I told you I was saving myself for

marriage, you're an idiot.

Tramp!

We're going out to the guest house where I'll be having second thoughts about

our marriage and thinking about leaving.

Yeah, well, if you go, take the kids with you.

Thanks for making that movie. Yeah, no problem.

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