Original subtitles

See, lunch hour's too short. By the time my soup cools, lunch is almost over.

Yeah, you know, in Europe, they take three hours for lunch. Yeah, well,

the heat of the equator for you.

Hey, guys, how you doing? Hi, Mr. Savitsky.

Ah, the studio commissary. This place is great.

High -level executives breaking bread with security guards.

No class distinction, just people.

That's what I like to see.

Well, have a seat, Mr. Smith.

No, thanks, Jimmy. I said I'd like to see it, and I can see it just fine from

the executive dining room.

Hey, Greg, do you ever deal with any of the casting people on the lot? Yeah, all

the big actors' deals come through my office. I just finished Vin Diesel's

yesterday. Let's just say I had to get it done fast or he'd be furious.

Oh, no!

Well, I don't want to put you out, but I was wondering if you might be able to

get me an audition for a movie they're shooting on the lot.

I thought you gave up acting. Well, yeah, I did, but I also came all the way

here to do it.

Plus, now I hear there's a role in a new Al Pacino movie for big guy on scooter.

Just so happens I am surprisingly agile on a scooter.

What do you want me to do?

Well, I was hoping since you're a big wig on the lot, maybe you could make a

call to the casting people for me, see if you can get me an audition.

Okay, sure, I could give it a shot.

Really? Thanks a lot, man. It's great. No problem.

Hey, you're a good guy.

My soup is still hot, and now lunch is almost over.

Oh,

you college guys.

You know, I gotta give you credit, Christine.

I had no idea how hard it is having two kids. I feel like they're constantly

hanging all over me.

Yeah. Sometimes I used to dream I had a full -time nanny.

Or at the very least, a really big cage.

You know, I don't need a nanny. I just need a few minutes to myself.

I'd be happy just to take a shower without a four -year -old bursting in,

pointing at my crotch, saying, where'd it go?

Hollywood. I tell you, folks, if you want to get something done in show

business, you just tell Greg he makes one phone call and it's done.

Really? Hey, could you call Britney Spears and tell her to pull up her

I called my friend Dave over at casting and got Billy an audition for a movie.

Wow, Billy's going to be in a movie?

Yeah, maybe. He didn't get the role of big guy on Scooter, but they liked him

enough to let him read for man with hat.

He's pretty excited. If he gets the part, he gets to keep the hat.

That was really nice of you to help Billy out.

It's really nothing. I mean, one of the perks of working at a big Hollywood

studio is having the power to pick up a phone and make somebody's dream come

true.

You like that, huh? Yeah.

It's very rewarding.

Uh -huh.

Listen, I got some movie ideas. No. No, come on. Come on.

I was thinking maybe you could make a call with some of the movie guys. Let me

pitch my ideas. I wrote down some stuff in the guard shack today.

I don't think so. Oh, come on, dude. These are great ideas. Here, let me show

you.

Wait,

these are directions to, uh, Ribs USA.

These are directions back from Ribs USA.

Oh, yeah, here we go. Yeah, these are great ideas. Yeah, I'm sure they are.

Well, you helped out Billy. Why wouldn't you help out me? Yeah, well, Billy's an

actor. He's worked at it. He's taken classes. He takes it seriously.

Well, I'm taking it seriously.

Yeah? Is that why you wrote it down on a napkin?

Well, the Gettysburg Address was written on the back of an envelope. Yeah, but

Lincoln didn't drool mustard all over it.

Look, Greg, I got the idea at lunch. You know, with us creative types, you know,

genius can strike at any time. So I just grabbed the closest thing to me and I

just started writing.

You're lucky you didn't get it on toilet paper.

Actually, he almost did.

Yeah, I was in the john when I got the idea, but there wasn't so much paper

left, so... Made a business decision instead of a creative one.

Kind of surprising how Jimmy had those movie ideas, huh?

Yeah, can you believe him? The studio gets over a hundred scripts a day they

don't even look at.

This guy wants me to read a mustardy napkin.

I know, but, you know, would it really be that big of a deal if you made a call

for him?

Why should I?

Well, first of all, he's family and you care about him. You better have a pretty

strong second of all in that holster.

Greg, he really wants you to help him. Well, he only wants me to help him

because he saw that I helped Billy. He can't stand seeing someone else get help

if it's not him. Oh, come on. That's not true.

Oh, please. He's probably bothered that Mother Teresa died before giving him a

bag of wheat.

Look, it's not like people have never helped you. It's not like I haven't

him, okay? I gave him a place to live. I helped feed him. I helped get him that

job at the studio. That's all I ever do is give.

I give, I give, I give. When homeless people approach me on the street, I say,

I'm sorry, but I've already given at the Jimmy.

And they usually know who I'm talking about.

Warner, I've got a question for you. Yes, sir. You like turkey?

It's okay, I guess.

Good.

Because they tell me you get the last of the lasagna.

Did you get the note I left for you at your office? Yes, Jimmy. Thank you for

supplying me with the list of the movie development executives at the studio. My

assistant brought it to me when I was having a meeting with movie development

executives at the studio. Oh.

Hey, did you tell them about me? No.

What, you were meeting with him and you couldn't just casually mention me?

What am I supposed to say, Jimmy? Hey, listen, you guys. The budget for the new

Jennifer Lopez movie seems to be in order. And while we're on the subject of

blockbusters, I've got a hot new napkin for you to read.

Hello to man with hat.

Oh, you got the collar. Wow, congratulations.

Thanks. Hey, man.

You know what? I don't think that hat fits you.

Shh. Keep it down.

You have to choose between me and the hat. It might take into account that the

hat didn't accidentally eat Al Pacino's zone lunch.

Hey, Greg.

Hey, Rob. Hey, thanks for keeping me posted on the budget for the new

Lopez movie. No problem. We're going to have a hard time making money on that

one. But it is a J -Lo film, so there should be a huge back end. Oh, no!

Somebody give me Lindner's fax number!

Who's that?

It's Rob Nakamura.

He's the vice president of... nothing.

Oh, that's one of the movie guys, isn't it?

So Pacino's on a diet, huh?

Come on, I recognize the guy's name from the list. That's the head development

guy. Just introduce me to him, please.

Al's worried about his health or is he just getting chunky?

Fine. You know what?

I'll just go over there and talk to him myself if you want to help me. Fine. Go

ahead.

I swear I will go right over there. Good. Tell him I said hi.

Okay. Are you crazy? You can't go over there.

Why not?

Because it's unprofessional. You can't go bother the head of development while

he's trying to eat lunch. What do you care? Because he knows you're my brother

-in -law. It'll make me look bad.

Well, I'm sorry, but since you won't help me, this is the only option I got.

All right, fine, I'll help you.

Really? Yeah, you just got to promise me you're not going to do anything on your

own. All right, I promise that.

This lasagna is disgusting.

And this is a cow.

And what does the cow say?

I'm great.

No.

Okay, here's a kitty. What does a cat say?

Clank, clank.

No, no, Emily, a cat says... You know what?

Forget it.

You're pretty. You're going to be just fine.

Hi, honey.

Hi.

Hey, man.

Did you talk to the movie guys today?

Uh, no, not yet.

But you said you were going to call. I am going to call. I just want to make

sure you're ready first.

What are these?

They're books, Jimmy. They're the things you use to prop up your television when

you watch Tom and Jerry.

How to give your story structure, how to pitch a movie, how to get a mortgage

with no money down.

I'm not sure how that one got in there, but I'd read it anyway.

All right, man. Well, I'll look through these later. No, don't just look through

them, Jimmy. Read them. People in the movie business live and breathe this

stuff, okay?

They study movies.

They dissect scripts.

Scene by scene, they read books.

I thought the whole point of movies was so people don't have to read.

Jimmy, if you want to be taken seriously, you have to take this stuff

okay? I don't want you to embarrass yourself. Okay, all right, all right.

Thanks. Looks like I got a lot of reading to do.

Thanks, man. This does mean a lot to me. All right.

Well, you just go back there and...

Dig in and I'll be here for you the second that you finish.

Which will be never.

What? Jim, Jimmy's not going to do the work. He'll get halfway through the

book and quit like he always does.

I'm just trying to discourage him once and for all.

Greg. Kim, he tried to bother the head of development while he was trying to

lunch. So what?

So what? I mean, they all know that he's my brother -in -law. I have a very

important job and everything you and I have depends on it.

If I lose my job, you, me, and the kids could end up living in a refrigerator

box. And where's that going to leave them?

Probably living behind a refrigerator box in a microwave box.

What makes you so sure he won't do it? Because it's reading, Kim.

By the time he's finished the first chapter, the toilet seat will have cut

his circulation.

Hey, Greg.

Here's your stuff back.

Wow.

Stuck with it two days before you gave up.

That's a lot longer than you stuck with that whole bacon -free February.

I'm not giving up. I'm all done with them. What do you mean you're done?

I'm done, man.

I studied all the scripts, just like you said. I studied the movies. I even read

all the books.

Come on, 11 books in one weekend? Yeah, I read them cover to cover.

When you say cover to cover, you don't just mean that you read the covers, do

you?

No, I read every last word, Greg.

When you say every last word. I read every word, Greg.

It's like once I started one book, I couldn't put it down until I finished

and then I couldn't wait to get my hands on another one.

That means a lot coming from Jimmy. I mean, the only thing he ever did in the

library was me.

I think that's great, Jimmy.

It's good to see you take something so seriously.

Tell me about it. He wouldn't even stop reading when we had sex.

You knew I was reading?

Come on, Jimmy, like I'm not going to feel a book on my back.

Anyway, Greg, thanks for the books. I really, I learned a lot.

Yes, no need to thank me, Jimmy.

Are you kidding me? You get me a meeting at a major Hollywood studio. This is

great.

Yeah, I don't know about that.

What are you talking about?

It's just, I'm not going to call the movie people.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, Greg.

Ma, you said you'd make the call. Well, I'm not. Greg.

Kim, I'm not calling the movie people. Why?

Yeah, why?

You said if I did all the work, you'd make the call.

Well, I've changed my mind.

What is it, Greg? Is it that you don't want me to get ahead?

Are you worried that I might make something of myself?

Or is it are you scared that one day I might actually be more successful than

you? Yeah, that and Bigfoot really keep me up at night.

You're the one who told him to read the book.

I just did that so he would give up. I didn't know he was actually going to do

it. But I surprised you.

I did the work, and you were right. I wasn't prepared before, but now I am. I

have figured out how to turn one of my ideas into a really great movie.

So just get me one shot.

Maybe I'll surprise you again.

I'm sorry, Jimmy. I can't take that chance.

Now, I don't believe this.

It's like no matter how hard I try, no matter what I do, in your eyes, I'll

never be good at anything. Thanks.

Thanks a lot, man. It's nice to know that you think so little of me.

The cow goes moo.

Oh, my God. Did you hear that? Cow goes moo. Cow goes moo.

We'll celebrate later.

Okay, I just need you to sign off on the summer marketing budget. That way I can

send it over to finance.

Looks good. Great job.

Thank you, Mr. Savitsky. I worked very hard on it. Not you, Warren. I was

talking to Marianne.

Oh, sorry.

I'm worried you took a little too much off the top.

Warner, are you listening? I'm talking about the budget. Oh, I'm sorry. When

said I thought you took too much off the top, I assumed you were still talking

to her.

What is that, some kind of a bald crack?

No, sir, of course not. I hope that I have as much hair as you do when I'm

age. How old do you think I am, Warner?

Six... Four... Please don't make me do this.

Excuse me, Mr. Swisky. Do you have a few minutes? I want to run something by

you. Sure, Jimmy. Come on in. I was just finishing up a haircut.

You've got to be kidding me. You're wasting your time.

Okay, Warner. I admit it. I'm bald.

If she doesn't do a little housekeeping around the ears, I start looking like a

German shepherd. No, sir. I was talking to Jimmy.

What are you doing?

Hey, if you're not going to help me, I'm going to help myself.

What do you got there, Jimmy?

Actually, Mr. Swisky, I have a movie idea I'd like to pitch to you. Oh, God.

Listen, Jimmy, I've got a meeting I've got to get ready for. You heard the man.

Busy, busy, busy. Please, Mr. Switzky, it won't take long. Jimmy, the man is

busy to hear your little movie idea. I promise I'll only take a few minutes of

your time.

All right.

All right, make it quick.

And, Jimmy, I know we're kind of friends, but I don't want people to know

taking pictures from security guards. So if anybody finds out, just tell them

that you only got the meeting because you had compromising pictures of me with

Halle Berry.

Come to think of it, tell him that anyway.

Okay, great. Let me just get set up. Okay, since this has nothing to do with

I'll just rework these numbers and I'll see you in a little while. Not so fast.

He's your brother -in -law. If I have to sit through this, so do you.

This is a futuristic, sci -fi, romantic action -adventure.

I'm listening.

The movie takes place in the not -so -distant future where the government is

making clones of every single person in the country. That way, if somebody needs

an organ transplant, they have a donor that's a perfect match.

Hence, the name of the movie, Spare Parts.

What if the clone doesn't want to be a donor?

They don't have a choice.

Ah, I see what you're doing.

You're using the clone's lack of choice as a metaphor for how we are all forced

by society to conform to a prescribed role and feel powerless to do otherwise.

Nope, they're just clones.

Okay, so we open on our protagonist, Dr. Jake Weber, an army surgeon involved in

classified biomedical research.

Picture, if you will, Mr. Ruffle Crow.

No, no Russell Crowe. I met him at the Oscars. He hit on my wife.

All right, we open on our protagonist, Dr. Jake Webber.

Picture Mr.

Tom Cruise.

Nope, no Tom Cruise. Met him at the Oscars, too.

My wife hit on him.

We open on our protagonist, Dr. Jake Webber, who will be played by an actor

who's never hit on or been hit on by your wife.

Good luck with that.

Okay, so Jake's wife, who he is deeply in love with... Gwyneth

Paltrow never hit on your wife, did she?

I wish.

Jake's wife falls deeply ill, and so she needs a heart transplant.

And so when Jake goes to meet his wife's clone, before he can remove her heart,

he falls deeply in love with her, and they begin a torrid affair.

But not without a tremendous emotional struggle and an awesome power ballad

played by Mr. Jon Bon Jovi.

Jake bursts through the operating room doors, but he's too late.

He grabs his dead wife's clone's lifeless hand.

And in that moment of supreme sadness, he smiles through his tears.

Because even though the clone he loves is gone forever,

her heart beats on inside the chest.

of his original wife, his original love.

Spare parts.

He came for her heart.

She left with his.

No.

No, I got a meeting in Burbank.

And don't worry, Warner, I'll stop off at Makeup and have them powder my shiny

dome so I don't cause any accidents on the freeway.

Go ahead, let me have it.

Jimmy, I can't believe it, but it was great.

You're just saying that. Just saying that? Jimmy, I wouldn't patronize you

that. No, but you would say something nice just so I don't feel stupid.

No, it was a great story. I was blown away.

I mean, it has something for everybody.

It was structured perfectly. The characters were vivid and unique.

You liked it? I loved it. I don't think you should give up on it. You should

pitch it to other studios. Somebody's going to want to make that movie.

Well, I don't know. If Stavitsky didn't like it, I probably should just give up.

Oh, please. What does he know? He passed on Spider -Man, but green -lighted a

live -action Andy Cap.

Well, you know what, Greg? No.

The fact that you liked it means more than anything.

I'm proud of you, Jimmy.

You know, in the screenwriting books, this is where they say that music swells

up and we hug.

Yeah, yeah.

We're not going to hug, are we?

Emily, what did the kitty say?

Oink, oink.

No, Emily, a cat says meow.

I thought you had this.

Don't worry, we'll get this.

Hey, watch this.

I've been messing with this kid all week.

Oink, oink.

Oink, oink. The cat says oink.

Don't you have anything better to do?

No. Not since they cut off my testicles.