Original subtitles

Hey, so how was your first sleepover?

Great. Thanks, Dad got me off. All right, so that prank I taught you, you

the one where somebody falls asleep and you put their hand in warm water? Did it

work?

You fell asleep first, didn't you?

Yeah.

Did you get them back?

I left my wet underwear in the oven.

That's my boy.

Wow, are you sure it's head lice?

No, no, no. Thanks for letting me know. I'll check Dominic right away.

Okay, thanks.

Dominic, stay right there. Right there.

You might have lice in your hair.

Where are lice?

Well, sweetie, they're a little bug.

Zach's mom called. She said everybody from the sleepover might have them.

Do they sting you?

Can they hurt me? No, no, no, no.

They don't do anything to you, honey. You're going to be fine.

You know, you probably don't even have them, right? So there's nothing to be

afraid of.

Um... Um... Let me just...

Oh, you know what, sweetie?

I don't even think... Oh, my God!

What's the name of the shampoo again?

Okay. Oh, Logan, honey, stay away from your brother. He's got bugs in his hair.

Logan.

Hey, Logan.

Hold on.

Huh?

Okay, so I don't need a prescription for this?

Okay. Yeah, we'll be right over. Thanks.

I saw you chewing on a piece of bark.

Here, I need you to go to the drugstore and pick up the shampoo.

I'm going to go over and tell Kim and Greg. Wait, wait, wait.

Do Greg and Kim really need to know that our son has lice?

It's so embarrassing.

They already think we're white trash as it is. Jimmy, come on. We have to tell

them that there might be lice in their house. Yeah, but Dominic never went into

their house. He came straight from the sleepover, through the backyard, and

right into the guest house.

We can keep him back here until he's no longer a threat.

have to know. We can contain this, Christine.

Jimmy, if we're going to stay in the house for two days, we're going to have

survive on Pop -Tarts and Oreos.

Christine, you don't have to sell me. I'm already on board.

Fine, fine. We'll keep it to ourselves.

Good.

Then it's settled.

You know, maybe someone should go over there. Talk to him, you know, so he

doesn't feel like such a freak.

You're right.

Logan, come talk to your brother.

Hey, can Dominic play with Logan yet? I've been back there playing board games

with him all morning, Eddie.

He said it's not fun.

Well, if he's not having fun, just let him win.

Let him win. He's killing me.

Kid's like the Bobby Fisher of Candyland.

I spent the whole game stuck in Molasses Swamp, and that damn kid just keeps

getting Queen Frostine.

Okay, well, um... This has got to stay in for, like, 20 minutes, so I guess

you're stuck here.

It's okay.

Oh, I almost forgot.

Zach's mom felt really bad about all this, so...

She sent over some cookies. She baked them herself.

In her oven?

Yeah, I guess so.

No, thanks.

So, how's life?

Good. Yeah?

Anything new?

Not really.

Just the bugs.

longest ladder and I keep falling down the chutes.

I see how he does with something that takes a little skill.

With the hungry, hungry hippo.

Hey, what are you doing?

Hey, making a list of the things I can't do anymore now that I'm pregnant.

You mean like go on roller coasters and stuff?

Yeah, I'm making a list of the roller coasters I can't go on.

Because I'm seven.

It's a list of the things you're going to have to start doing around the house

because I can't.

Clean the bathrooms.

Fumes.

Wash the windows.

Not supposed to be on a ladder.

Sterilize the breast pump.

Yeah.

I saw Jimmy bring it into the guest house.

For what?

Does it matter? Just boil it.

How was your day?

Actually, it was great. Mr. Sabitsky came to me for advice on the studio

Christmas presents.

Really?

Yeah, he wants me to pick out the sweatshirts and the baseball caps with

logos on them.

Why is he asking you?

He thinks I have good taste. He says he likes the way I dress.

Did you tell him that I'm the one who lays out your clothes for you every

morning?

Anyway, I think this was a very good day for my career.

Picking out the hats. And the sweatshirts.

Congratulations.

I would open some champagne, but I'm afraid Jimmy and Christine would come

cats to the sound of a can opener.

I don't think they'll hear us. I haven't seen them since early yesterday

morning.

I wonder if they're mad at us.

Why would they be mad at us? Well, the other day you did sort of nap at them

eating all the little marshmallow charms out of the cereal.

Jimmy was taking it off my spoon.

Maybe you scared them away. You think? Maybe I will open some champagne.

Oh, look, here they come.

Oh, my God, I barely even touched the foil.

I was talking about you guys.

Why?

We were wondering where you've been.

Oh.

You know, we just thought we'd give you guys a little bit of space, you know? I

mean, we were talking about how we're always over here, we're always getting

your stuff. All right, champagne.

Anyway, we missed you, so we're back. You're back or you're hungry?

We're back.

And, you know, I could eat.

Why don't you guys help us set the table?

Hey, where are those champagne glasses?

In the cabinet back there.

work yeah mr savitsky kind of tapped me for this special project

that's

great yeah can't really say too much about it sort of between me and savitsky

purchase the studio wants to make.

Afraid I can't really give you any more details than that.

That's really great, Greg.

How could this happen?

Dominic never came out.

Did you get him back?

I left my wet underwear in the oven.

That's my boy.

Hey, Sammy.

Oh, look what a great little artist you are.

I have no idea.

Sammy, why do you keep scratching your head like that?

Maybe he's perplexed.

That's a word, right?

Oh, my God! I think Sammy has lice!

What?

Oh, my... How

could

this have happened? Well, Kim, I told you not to take him to the park anymore.

Bums sleep in that tunnel slide.

You guys can beat yourself up all day about the how and the where, and look,

you're still good parents.

He got it from us.

We've been treating Dominic for the last two days.

Oh, my God, that's why you were hiding.

Yeah, I should have known it. Here I was insulting the bums in the park.

I should have known it was the bums in my own house.

Why didn't you tell us?

We thought we contained it. You saw it?

had the responsibility to tell us the truth i know but we thought no matter

it's just great now i have to call and tell every parent in this preschool

now how do you call someone out of the clear blue and tell them you might have

infected them christine any tips

You wait till they're at work and leave it on the machine.

Anything else you want to share with us? Deer ticks? Ringworm? Chickers?

Come on, boys. Let's go.

We shouldn't stay here.

Guys,

wait. Look.

It happened. We'll get through this. You don't have to leave.

Yes, we do.

Your kid has lice.

Did I catch more bugs from Sammy?

Oh, no, you weren't near him long enough.

Then why are we doing it again?

Just a precaution.

What's a precaution?

Well, it's when you do something just to be extra careful.

Like when you take Daddy's car keys away when you go to a barbecue?

Yeah, like that.

So, do you like all the kids in your class this year?

They're okay.

Any cute girls?

Mom! Well, that sounds like a yes to me.

Come on.

What's her name?

Oh, you're not going to tell me. Okay. That's fine.

Okay,

okay. Rachel, Rachel.

Rachel, huh?

Oh, is she cute?

Yeah. And Bianca.

Bianca?

Yeah, Bianca's really cute.

And Katie.

Anyone else?

Megan and Dana and Mrs. Harrison.

Oh, my God.

Oh, just a guess.

How bad is yours?

Horrible. Hurry home. I bought enough shampoo for you, too. I'm on my way.

Warner!

Hey, Mr. Sabitsky.

Is that a fork in your hair?

Oh, I was looking for that.

Listen, I need your opinion. Have you got a minute?

Well, I... Which guy? The red or... Red.

Hey, Warner, I just walked all the way down the hall.

How about I just flip a coin?

Sorry, Mr.

Savitsky. I don't know. Hold him up to the light and turn around.

Let's see.

Blue, sir. Blue.

Great. Thanks, Warner.

You know, that's what I like about you.

You're a giver.

You're not afraid to give me what you got.

How do you like this one?

Looks good. Let me see how it feels.

It's a little tight.

Ah, that feels good.

Opportunities come along in business all the time.

It's good for me to know who I can depend on. I don't forget these things,

Warner. I don't forget anything.

Thanks again, Warner.

Don't mention it.

All right, you're all done, kiddo.

Tomorrow, same time.

Hey, Dominic. Hi, Daddy.

You wash his hair again?

Yeah.

And you do it again tomorrow?

Well, you can't be too careful.

The bottle says you only have to do it twice.

Yeah, well, the bottle also says 99 .9 % effective.

If those were surefire odds, we wouldn't even have Dominic.

don't want to stop doing it what well look before all this life stuff when was

the last time i actually sat down with dominic for 20 minutes just to talk you

know i mean especially now that he's older he's always running around with

friends and then i've always got stuff to do and when the day's just gone you

know i like spending time with him you know just him and me you

wash his hair as long as you want

Yes, Mrs. Novick, I know it's an inconvenience, but you only have to use

shampoo for a few days.

Yes, yes, just like when you had crabs.

Bye -bye.

How you guys doing?

What you need, Jimmy? Got a strange new rash you'd like to rub up against it?

No, I just wanted to see how you guys were.

Yeah, everything's great. Yeah.

You're just great.

You'll be happy to know that your head lice made it all the way to Savitsky.

Oh, man, you gave it to Savitsky? No, Jimmy, technically you gave it to

Savitsky. I was just your filthy little delivery boy.

All right, Sammy, let's go get you rinsed off.

Ugh, ironic.

I drive eight miles out of my way for organic fruits and vegetables, but now,

thanks to Uncle Jimmy, I'm marinating your head in pesticides.

So what did Savitsky say when you told him?

It's not important.

Oh, what did he say? I didn't tell him.

What? I didn't tell him.

You didn't tell him?

Oh, like you would have told him. Hell no, I would have covered it up, but I'm

not the one that went on and on about you have a responsibility to tell the

truth.

This is different. This is a work thing. No matter what.

Jimmy, look, I have a lot more to lose than you do. If Savitsky finds out I

him headlights, that's all he's going to remember about me. Greg, you gotta tell

him before they get into his beard.

Oh, Greg, the guy eats at the salad bar.

You know what? You should tell him. I mean, you're responsible for all of

I don't want the head of the studio to think I gave him lice. I got a career to

think about, too. Career? You're a security guard. You work a wooden gate.

you don't get termites, your career is safe.

Now you're gonna make fun of my job, huh? You know what? I had to smack you

the head.

Yeah, you're just lucky you have lice.

And I got hairy knuckles.

Hey, Warner!

Good call on the Thai Hollywood reporter. Big photo.

Well, I'm glad that worked out.

Hey, you play golf, right?

We need a fourth on Sunday at Riviera.

What the?

we can sneak out now and get in nine holes before the... Sweet mother of God!

Um, Mr. Savitsky, this isn't easy for me to say, sir, but I think you

might have head lice.

What?

Well, I found out I had it the day after we tried on all those hats together.

Oh, my God!

I can't believe this.

That's why I can't stop scratching.

animal spreads lice at work i am so sorry warner

what's that forgiving you headlights believe me i never would have shared

hats if i had any idea well can you forgive me

well i mean you didn't know don't beat yourself up

no no i am totally to blame i never should have taken my nephew to the park

know bums sleep in the tunnel slide

I, uh, I have heard that.

Oh. Hey, Mr. Savitsky. Jimmy. Listen, about the headlight thing. You know

that? Jimmy. No, Greg, you were right.

It was my fault.

Okay, my kid gave it to Greg's kid, then Greg got it, and he gave it to you.

You gave it to me?

Yeah, me or the bums.

I just wanted to make sure that Greg didn't take the heat for this.

Really, it should be me.

You know what, Jimmy?

You're a stand -up guy.

I don't forget things like this.

I don't forget anything.

Son of a bitch!

You're welcome.