Original subtitles

Man, you've been studying for a while.

Yeah, I got finals in a few days.

Oh, I remember finals.

You remember any of the answers?

I remember studying in the library.

There was one professor who took a particular interest in me.

He would stand behind my chair and help me study.

He was probably just trying to look down your shirt.

For your information, he had a bad back. He had to lean over.

And some days it was so bad he would lie on the floor.

Days you wore a skirt.

Oh, my God, I'm calling the college.

Yeah, we were behind in the fourth, but Tony got this really huge... Honey, I

think your ass is smoking.

Thanks, baby. You're not too bad yourself.

Why don't you get cleaned up? I'll meet you in the get -out.

Christine? What is this?

Okay, forget you saw that and you don't have to get cleaned up first.

Christine, I can't believe you're smoking again.

No, I started again last week. I think with all the pressures of finals and

trying to take care of the kids, I just wanted to, I don't know, die sooner.

You know you have to quit. I know.

Well, are you going to try to patch again?

No, no, I don't like having those things around the house. Remember when Dominic

skimmed his knee and thought they were band -aids?

He was running around the house like a rat on crack.

I'm gonna have to go cold turkey.

Oh.

What, you don't think I can do it?

Uh, no, it's just that, you know, last time you quit cold turkey, uh, you were

little mean.

That's ridiculous. I'm always mean.

You threw the microwave at me.

Well, if I remember right, you had it coming.

I asked... how your day was going.

And then you knew.

I know you're trying to quit smoking, but is it really good for you to be

chewing all that gum?

What did she say?

She suggested that you go love yourself.

Well, everyone, I don't want you to get too excited, but there's a chance I may

soon be executive director of business affairs.

I thought that's what you were already.

Oh, he's the manager of business affairs. No, I'm not. I'm the executive

of business affairs.

I got that promotion over a year ago. Oh, that's right. That's when you got

own bathroom. That was so great for you.

Greg had a hard time using public bathrooms. Kim, I'm over that.

I now hover.

So, uh, this is a promotion.

Yeah, I mean, if I get it, it's still between me and this other guy, Stewart.

When it comes to cost analysis and future projections, he's a regular John

Maynard Keynes.

He was the father of modern economic theory.

Him good with adding machines.

Wow, this guy Stewart sounds like a bigger nerd than you.

He is.

So, what are you going to do to make sure you get the promotion?

Same thing I've always done. Work hard, do a good job.

Well, yeah, that's gotten you to here, but now you've got to do something

going to, you know, put you over the edge.

You've got to schmooze.

I don't schmooze.

Oh, come on, man. Everybody schmoozes. Not me. I'm not kissing butt to get this

job. I am not talking about kissing butt. I'm just talking about romancing

little.

I just don't want to be one of those guys that sucks up to his boss to get

ahead. But you don't mind going to church.

What do you think prayer is?

Just sucking up to the big boss.

It's like, hallelujah!

Trust me, he knows you don't want to be there.

Well, if you know so much about this, why don't you write a book about how to

become successful and then read it?

All I'm trying to say is you've got to do whatever it takes to get ahead.

I try to spend time with my boss every chance I get. Why do you think I play on

the company's softball team every Saturday?

To get ahead of watching the kids?

To have an excuse to drink beer at 10 a .m.? To relive your high school glory

days and prop up your fragile ego?

Sometimes, maybe, and put that big wad of gum back in your mouth.

Hey, you all came.

Of course we came. It's the playoff. Sorry we're late.

Oh, no problem. The game's running a little late. The caterer couldn't get

omelet cart working.

I love Hollywood.

Greg insisted on parking all the way out past the outfield fence.

Yeah, well, last time I was at one of these games, some moron broke my

windshield with a foul ball.

I had to go to his house like 20 times to demand that he pay for it. Greg, he

was 12.

He paid you back as soon as he got his bar mitzvah money.

Okay, baby, have a good game. Remember, we're going to be in the stands rooting

for you, all right?

So, uh, who are all these guys?

Oh, they're from all over the studio. Uh, we got a couple of the other

guards. We got some cameramen. We got some executives.

Executives? How come no one asked me to play?

Greg, do I really have to toss a ball in your direction and watch you scurry out

of the way, or can we not have this conversation?

They got the omelet cart working. You ready to go, Jimmy? Oh, you bet,

Oh, you better hurry. They're running out of goat cheese.

Oh, hey, Greg. Hey, Mr. Savitsky.

Coming out to support the team? Yes, sir.

Good boy.

Go get some eggs if you want.

My God, Jimmy, that's my boss.

Georgie's your boss?

He's everyone's boss. He runs the whole studio.

Yeah, well, go on. Here's your chance. Go lay a little lip on him. I don't work

like that, Jimmy. Oh, come on. It's not that hard. Watch.

Hey, Phil!

That's my boss.

Looking good, man. Hey, you lose a couple LBs? Yeah, man.

Looking trim.

Seriously.

Hey, I saw your wife in the stands.

Oh, my God. She is hot.

You must be great in the sack to get with a girl like that, huh?

See? That is how you conduct business.

Stupid ketchup packets. They're like little grenades.

I've been thinking about your promotion.

It wouldn't kill you to go over and have a conversation with your boss.

Kim, I'm not going to kiss butt.

Listen, Greg, I've been real patient so far, but I need a new dishwasher.

I'm not asking you to tickle his ass with a feather. Just go talk to him.

Fine.

Go get him, Jimmy.

Jimmy! Yeah?

Hey, what's the score? I want to go talk to Mr.

Savitsky, and I want him to think that I've been paying attention.

It's tied in the last inning, and there's two outs.

Come on, Jimmy, you're up!

Go get it, buddy!

God damn it, get it!

Gee, Greg, we're just trying to get a hit here, not cure cancer. Yes, we are,

sir. Yes, we are. So anyway...

Yes, it did, sir. Yes, it did.

That was amazing.

You won the game, Dad.

Yeah, great shot, baby.

Well, I did it for you, you know. I figured if I could win the game, you

win your fight against cigarettes.

Thanks, Jimmy. I just stopped thinking about them.

Fortunately, you didn't break my windshield, which is good, because now

drive, I'll have a clear view of that big dent in the hood.

There he is. There's the hero of the game.

Thanks, Georgie. This is my wife, Christine.

That's your sister, Kim. And, of course, you know my brother -in -law, Greg.

I didn't know Greg was your brother -in -law. Oh, yeah. He helped me get the job

at the studio.

I live at his house, too.

Wow. What are you, his sugar daddy?

Well, we do feed him a lot of sugar.

Well, feed him whatever it takes to keep hitting home runs.

Nice meeting you, ladies.

And Jimmy, great team.

I love this.

Georgie, I'll see you at work, Greg.

Take it easy.

Okay, well, I'll take it wherever I can get it, sir.

That's just a saying.

Because I only get it from my wife. And sometimes not even there.

If you know what I mean, sir.

There goes my dishwasher.

What's this?

Leftover Monday.

You know, uh, Tim, I should have called you from work. I had, uh, half a

meatloaf, some cold Kung Pao, two hard -boiled eggs, and some applesauce for

lunch.

Hey, Greg.

You remember the food we didn't like on Tuesday?

It's back.

Well, no leftovers tonight. I'm taking everyone out for dinner.

You are?

Because you were looking at the new executive director of business affairs.

That's great!

Congratulations!

Oh, I'm so proud of you!

Yeah, it was amazing.

I was sitting in my office this morning going over some production reports, and

Mr. Savitsky comes in. I mean, he's never been down to my office before, so

heart's pounding. Wait a minute, I'm getting ahead of myself.

Earlier in the day, I had heard some rumors.

Yeah, you know who would love to hear this story?

The waiter at the Outback Steakhouse.

I'll get Sam ready. Come on, kid.

Hey, uh, congratulations, man. Yeah, thanks.

Yeah, so I guess the old, uh, huge swings paid off.

What's that?

You know, the home run I hit.

Yeah,

what are you talking about?

Well, don't you think it's kind of a coincidence that I hit a home run to win

the big game for the company team and the next day you get a promotion?

Wow, when you put it like that, I guess I never realized just how big of an

idiot you are.

I mean, one has nothing to do with the other. I got that promotion because I

deserve it. Yeah, but didn't you say the other guy deserved it, too?

Everybody ready?

Jimmy thinks I only got the promotion because he hit that home run yesterday.

I didn't say it's the only reason. I just think it might have helped put you,

you know, over the top.

Hmm. Never thought about that. Because there's nothing to think about. Nothing,

okay? I got that promotion because I deserve it. End of story.

I mean, it's crazy to think that Jimmy hitting that home run had anything to do

with me getting that promotion.

Huh.

I never thought about that.

Because there's nothing to think about. Stop thinking about it. Thinking about

what? Your daddy got Uncle Greg a promotion.

Cool. Would you stop telling him that? You're going to poison the kid's mind.

I don't see what the big deal is. Jimmy, it's not a big deal. It's just not

true. I don't know. Maybe you should ask your boss about it. Well, fine. Maybe I

will. It's just going to make you look like an idiot.

Or maybe you're going to look like an idiot. No, maybe you're going to look

an idiot. No, maybe you're going to look like an idiot. No, maybe you're going

to look like an idiot. No, maybe you're going to look like an idiot. Will you

shut up? You both look like idiots.

You hear that? She said you look like an idiot. No, she said you look like an

idiot.

What is wrong with you?

Home run.

You know, like... Like, the head of a public corporation is going to be

out promotions because somebody hit a home run. It's laughable. Yeah,

It's hilarious.

Can we go to sleep?

I just don't want Jimmy walking around thinking he had anything to do with me

getting that promotion.

Why? What's the big deal?

You know it's not true. Why don't you just thank him, let him think what he

wants? Kim, so what?

So he can think that this is how the world works?

So he can continue to live in my guest house and wait for his numbers to hit?

It's like the world's one big lucky scratcher to him.

I don't want him thinking that I need his dumb luck. What do you care what he

thinks? You own a big house, have a great job, and share your bed every

with, if I may say so, a bit of a hottie.

You've got it good.

That's because I've worked hard. It's not because I'm lucky.

Well, it's about the house and the job, maybe.

What are you saying?

That in certain areas, you've had your share of luck.

What are you talking about? What areas?

Greg. When I first met you, you were on your way to Glee Club wearing a T -shirt

that looked like a tuxedo.

If I hadn't needed a ride across campus that day, God knows who you would have

ended up with. No, I think I would have been just fine. If you remember

correctly, there was a bit of a competition for me.

From whom?

Terry. She was with me when I gave you that ride. She loved me. You totally

stole me away from her.

That was a girl?

Yes, and a very attractive one. She was just dressed down that day.

Wait a second. Wasn't she chewing tobacco?

She was from the South.

So I've succeeded in finding incidental cuts in the budget that hold down costs

without sacrificing anything in key areas.

In fact, if you wanted to give me a nickname, you could call me the

Because I'm able to...

Strangle every dime out of a production budget.

Anyway, that's my report.

Well, thank you, Mr. Warner.

And if it's all right, I think we'll just stick to calling you Greg.

Um, uh, Mr. Sofitsky, could I speak with you a second, please? Look, if it's

about that joke, don't sweat it.

But for future reference, Joe's brother actually was strangled.

But you know it.

Well,

actually, I just wanted to say thanks again for the promotion.

No problem. You deserved it, kid.

Yeah, that's what I wanted to talk about.

Mr. Savitsky, did I get this promotion because I'm a hard worker or, you know,

was it something else aside from work? You know, something more personal.

Are you coming on to me?

Oh,

of course not. Are you saying I'm not attractive?

No, no, no.

I'm not saying that either, sir. Of course you are. You're a handsome man.

Hey, easy, Warner. I'm just yanking your chain.

Look, you got promoted because you work hard.

Your record is exemplary, and you're very good at what you do.

Well, thank you, sir.

Frankly, I don't know how you'd do it.

If I had to sit in your office all day crunching numbers, I'd hang myself.

But you, you have a knack for mind -numbing work.

Wow.

I appreciate it, sir. It's just I only bring it up because my crazy brother -in

-law has got this idea that he had something to do with me getting that

promotion. You mean Jimmy, the guy who hit the home run?

Yeah, he thinks the fact that he hit that home run was the reason I got the

promotion, which is ridiculous because you yourself said it was because of my

work record.

Of course it was.

Thank you. That's all I need to know.

Thought it was a close call between you and Stewart.

But in the end, I decided you were the guy for the job.

Thank you, sir.

When did I decide that?

Was it after the home run?

Huh. Well, I don't want you to rack your brain about it.

No, no, you bring up a good question. You got me thinking.

Well, don't think on account of me, sir.

It was after the home run.

On my way home.

I was feeling good about the game and I thought, well, maybe I'll ask around

about Greg Warner one more time.

Huh.

I guess you did get the job because of your brother -in -law.

What do you know?

I guess you owe him a drink.

Hey.

Hey. I did it. Passed my final.

Two A's and a B.

Congratulations, honey. That's unbelievable.

Thank you. Oh, I'm so proud of you. Thanks. And you're still not smoking?

no. I haven't had a craving in days.

Man, it's so good not to have to depend on something to make you feel better,

you know?

Man, I could use a drink.

Oh, hello.

Hey, how was your first day at your new job? Good.

So?

What?

Did you talk to your boss or not?

What about?

Your promotion. Did you ask him why you got the promotion?

Yes.

And?

Well, what do you think he said, Jimmy? He said he gave it to me because of my

hard work and qualifications.

Oh.

Okay, well, then I owe you an apology.

No, that's not necessary.

Let's just forget about this whole thing.

Christine's going to be mad at me.

Why? Well, after you and I were arguing the other night, she started yelling at

me for trying to take credit for you getting the promotion.

She told me to just, you know, say congratulations.

She's like, what difference does it make what he thinks? You know, the point is,

you got the promotion.

Well, Christine's right. You got a smart woman there. She's a keeper.

I guess it just felt good being you for a change.

What? You know, being the one who helps, not the one who gets the help all the

time.

Now,

You've been so good to me and my family.

You know, you've given us money, given us a place to live.

I get the thought of actually being able to help you out for a change. It just

meant so much to me. I just kind of lost my head.

I'm sorry.

Hey, listen.

We all make mistakes, I forgive you.

I talked to your boss.

Come again?

I talked to your boss, you evil little weasel.

I know the entire reason you got the promotion is because of my home run.

is wrong with you? You went to Savitsky's office?

No, he came to my office.

Nobody leaves that lot without me raising that little gate.

All right, all right, so now you know.

Why would you lie?

Because I didn't want to owe you anything.

What? You owe me. I don't owe you.

I mean, that's the way this whole thing works. You live in my house. You eat my

food. I don't want you to think with one crack of the bat that the score is

even. Or God forbid, I owe you.

Greg, you're the only one keeping score.

I never once thought about how you'd owe me for doing this. I was just happy to

be able to help you out. That's what matters most.

You know?

Not to credit.

You're right.

I'm glad we had this little talk.

You're welcome!

So that's our snapshot of the quarterly projections, and I hope you noticed the

costs were almost 6 % below last year.

So if you're still looking to give me a nickname, you might want to call me the

Penny Squeezer.

Listen,

Mike's wife, Penny, was killed by a boa constrictor.

Again, there's no way you could have known.