Original subtitles

Dude, check it out. Somebody got us fruit tarts.

Yeah, I got us fruit tarts. Us and me and Kim.

They were just sitting here. Jimmy, they were sitting there for four seconds. My

God, it's like living with a bear.

What, do I have to urinate around my food to keep you from pawing at it?

That'll probably work.

Hey, what's going on? Jimmy's just taking stuff again.

He ate your fruit tart.

I can't believe you ate that fruit tart.

They were just sitting here.

It's your own fault. If you didn't want them to eat it, you gotta write sugar

-free on the box.

You've gotta be kidding me.

What? I got a ticket for running a red light.

One of those stupid automatic machines that takes your picture and sends you a

ticket. No, they're everywhere now.

I know. It's bad enough you get a ticket. Now you gotta worry about how

look.

I don't even remember doing this. Well, obviously you did.

Yeah, they got a picture of you. I mean, this is completely unfair.

Oh, well, well, well. Look, you ran a red light, man. Doesn't matter how they

caught you. You broke the law. Pay your fine.

Jimmy, this is you.

What?

It says Greg Warner, but this is Jimmy driving your car.

This is so messed up. They should give you, like, a warning before the light

turns red.

You mean, like, a different color light? Like, um, yellow?

Just give me the ticket. I'll pay the fine. Wait a second. Why were you

my car?

I don't know. Sometimes mine doesn't start. I guess I borrowed yours. Without

asking? Greg, what's the big deal? He said he'd pay for the ticket. Kim, it's

not about the ticket. It's about Jimmy having no respect for other people's

stuff. I don't know why you're so possessive about your stuff.

Because it's his stuff.

Jimmy, look, just because we all live here doesn't mean that we can use

we want.

But we're all family. We should be able to share.

Yes. Yes, we should share.

You know?

What's ours is yours, and what's yours is ours. Everything. Everything is mine.

Jimmy, he's right. I mean, they already share their whole house with us.

And I'm not even complaining about that.

Well, not right now.

You know what? I totally see what Greg is saying. I mean, I'm guilty of it too.

Like, ever since my hair dryer broke, I've been using yours.

Well, that's all right. You told me my hair looks better when I let it air dry.

Yeah.

That was a lie.

Look, you and Greg have been very generous to us, and we need to stop

advantage. I am going to go buy my own hair dryer.

Yes, and I will go down to the court, I will tell them that it was me, and I

will pay the ticket. And from now on, I won't use any more of your stuff, I

promise. Well, thank you, and I will continue to respect yours.

And you're still going to eat that.

But this doesn't count.

I started eating this before I made the promise.

Greg, come in here. I just finished making Sammy's Halloween outfit.

All right, Sammy.

Take a look at you, all dressed up like a... cat.

I thought he wanted to be a pirate.

Well, he decided he wanted to be a kitty cat.

Are you sure, Sammy? Because we have plenty of time before Halloween.

It's still not too late to become a big, strong pirate.

It took me three weeks to make this outfit. He's wearing it. I'm going to go

a camera and take some pictures of my cute little kitty cat.

All right, but stop calling him a kitty cat. He's not a kitty cat.

He's a stray cat, a tomcat, an alley cat.

Come on, Sammy.

Give me a whack.

few weeks we'll work on that what is that you got a new camera no it's

yeah we can't use that what are you doing this is not our cameras jimmy and

christine i know our camera's not a film yeah but don't you remember i gave that

big speech about not using each other's stuff and they promised not to do it we

can't use theirs it'll make me look like a jerk actually honey the speech

already took care of that

Kim, I'm just saying we should practice what we preach. You're the only one

preaching. Yeah, Kim, and this is important to me. Sometimes I don't like

things that are important to you, but I do them anyway.

Like what?

Soy milk.

Matching Christmas pajamas.

Reusing sandwich bags.

Well, don't you care about the environment?

Oil tankers are splitting in half in the ocean, but don't worry, I'm swapping

mayonnaise out of baggies.

Fine, Greg, I'll never use their camera again.

Thank you.

In fact, I'll get their film developed for them so that they won't think I was

just taking advantage.

Great.

You really think that speech I gave Jimmy and Christine made me sound like a

jerk?

Originally, no.

But when you were on the phone repeating it to your mother, a little bit.

So what did you do?

I ran a red light.

Thank God California lets you take traffic schools so your insurance

up. I can't go. I've already been once this year.

Yeah, so have I. What do you mean?

Because I want to go once every 18 months.

What? I got too many tickets. I'll lose my license.

Next.

Are you just paying your ticket or do you want to go to traffic school?

Uh, traffic school.

Have you been in the last 18 months?

No.

Name?

Uh, it's on there. Greg Warner.

a bunch of stuff we usually borrow from Kim and Greg.

So, uh, you found it for traffic school?

Yep. Good.

So, this is over, right? Greg doesn't have to worry about this anymore?

Nope.

It's all taken care of. Okay.

Just need you to make me a fake ID.

What?

Huh? I said, what?

Yeah, and I said, huh?

Look, they won't let me go to traffic school again. If I get any more points

my license, it's gone. So traffic school has to think I'm Greg.

Jimmy, I told you to take care of this. I am taking care of this. What am I

supposed to do? You want to drive me to work every day?

Look, just make me a fake ID. I'll take the class. This will all be over.

Jimmy, licenses are different now, okay? It's not like when I used to make them

in high school.

I mean, now they have barcodes and holograms, magnetic strips.

Some people might take that as a challenge.

No, no, no. I'm not going to let you bait me into this. Come on. Come on. You

were the best.

Remember those IDs you made us?

What happened to that Consuelo Martinez I used to know?

Fine. Fine. I'll do it. But not because it's a challenge.

I'll do it because I don't want people to know that I married the stupidest,

most immature, irresponsible man in the entire world.

It's a little late for that, honey.

I'm picking up pictures for Warner. Sure, just a second.

Now, when we get home, this is what I want you to tell Christine about what

happened with the camera.

You wrote it down?

I just shot it down a few thoughts.

Make sure Christine is in a good mood.

Ask her to sit.

Offer her a beverage. What is this?

You totally planned it out for me?

You're making it sound like I'm crazy, so don't offer her a beverage. Put out

some cheese.

Then you're going to have to put out some crackers. I just thought a beverage

would be easier.

You said Warner, right?

Yeah.

Okay.

Well, here you go.

What are you doing?

I want to look at the pictures of Sammy in his cat costume.

Well, make sure you leave them in there so they'll know why we needed to use the

camera. And don't change the order because they'll look at the negative and

somebody's been playing with it. Greg, relax.

Sit down. Have a beverage.

Jimmy and Christine are going to be happy to have their film developed for

Now, they're not going to see this as some...

gigantic invasion of their privacy.

Oh, sweet mother, they're naked.

Jimmy and Christine.

Oh, my God.

You want double?

Because Neil can make some.

Well, there's a few things I'd always hoped I'd never see before I die.

They're all hanging off Jimmy.

something could be tan.

At least Christine looked good. Shut up.

Thank God they didn't take any pictures together.

Yeah, if they had a tripod and a timer, we'd be scooping our eyes out with a

spoon.

I mean, this is what happens when we use each other's stuff. We see each other's

stuff.

What are we going to do? We can't let them know we've seen them naked.

Hey, have you guys seen my package?

Oh.

That package from the courthouse has got all my stuff from traffic school. Oh,

there it is.

Okay, we're still on for dinner tonight, right? Yep, bye.

What are we going to do about this? They're going to know we used their

The film's gone.

We have more film.

I'll just put it in. But there's no pictures on it. Are they going to know

something happened?

Yeah, something did happen.

Their film accidentally got exposed.

All the pictures are gone.

Help me wind it back in.

Hey. What are you doing? I thought you had traffic school.

I do, but my car wouldn't start again. Well, so take mine.

Are you sure? Because I really don't think... It's fine. Take his.

I don't know. I mean, under the circumstances... Here. Ow. Drive safe.

All right.

Okay. Thanks, you guys.

Listen, I promise not to run any red lights. I know the last thing you want

see is another picture of me.

Greg Warner.

That's me.

Can I see your driver's license?

Absolutely. There you go.

Yeah, I was playing with some crazy glue at home.

My thumb kind of got stuck over the hologram, but it's me, see?

Greg Warner.

Whatever.

So that's it? No more questions? I'm in? I just need your check.

Oh, absolutely.

There you go.

Who's Jimmy Hughes?

He's my sugar daddy. Can I sit down now, please?

that was sitting next to me, Greg something.

Juana.

Hey, did Christine get the film and her camera developed yet?

I don't know.

I think I saw her take it out of her camera and put it in her purse.

What do you mean you think, Kim? This plan has to work.

Greg, relax.

As soon as she tries to get those pictures developed, it'll all be over.

Hopefully I'll be able to get the image of Jimmy naked out of my mind.

Christine did look good, though. Shut up.

Hey. Hey.

Hey. Hey.

So, um, how'd it go? Did the fake ID work?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Fake ID worked, yeah.

Oh, good.

Thank God this is all behind us. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

It's all behind us.

Just got to get Greg's car fixed without him knowing about it.

What?

Well, when I was leaving, I kind of backed into the instructor's car.

God, you just keep making this worse. No, no, no.

I think we're okay. He didn't see me.

Oh, good.

He didn't see you.

Let's call the hit and run, you idiot.

Look, the guy thought I was Greg.

I didn't want to get Greg in any more trouble. Look, I barely did any damage.

I'll just send the guy a check.

You send him a check tomorrow.

Okay. God.

Listen, next time you hit me, could you use the hand that doesn't have any

rings? Sorry.

Finally. The sitter got here an hour ago. We're starving.

You got my keys?

We're taking your car to dinner?

No, I thought the four of us would push yours.

It sounded like something just jumped up and damaged the back of your car.

Really, because it sounded like you just hit your hand against the window.

Whatever. I guess we'll find out when we get out of the car.

Oh, man.

What did you do?

Nothing. I was pulling the speed limit.

Well, did you go through a stop?

No.

Oh, I know what this is about. I put my registration sticker on crooked.

They make them so sticky, you only get one chance.

License and registration.

There you go.

In my defense, I tried to peel it off and put it back on, but it started to

tear, so I just left it.

Sorry.

Sir, I pulled you over because you have a broken taillight.

What? But when I ran the place, this vehicle, turns out, was involved with a

-and -run accident earlier today.

But, officer, I didn't even have... Jimmy?

I'm a little busy here, Greg.

Look, officer, I didn't even have my car this morning. The man cowering in the

backseat did. His name is Jimmy Hughes, and if you'll give me your knife stick,

I'll prepare him for arrest.

No.

The eyewitness specifically said they saw a Greg Warner, and I believe that's

you.

Jimmy.

Okay, look, when I went to pay the traffic ticket, they wouldn't let me

traffic school again, so I said I was you.

I don't believe this.

Didn't they ask to see your driver's license?

Christine made me a fake ID.

Who is Christine?

Look, maybe we can cut through some red tape here.

I'm on the job.

You're a security guard.

Yes, at a television studio.

It's all the same. We both have badges.

Yeah, but mine has City of Los Angeles on it.

Yours has a rabbit wearing a bow tie.

You're not on the job, sir. You just have a job.

Listen, sir, we've got reservations to keep, and I'm sure you've got cavities

search, so we could just pick him up at the station later.

Great. Look, you and your buddy can tell your story to the judge. I have to keep

your license.

Here's your summons to appearing.

Well, that was rude.

Hey, thanks for the professional courtesy.

I hope you never want to drive on the lot and go to a taping of The Price is

Right.

Greg, come on. I'm sorry.

I totally screwed up.

I don't know what else to say. Sorry.

Will you come on? Will you just say something? The silence is killing me.

Really?

Oh, and another thing?

Come on, Greg. Believe me, if I knew what a message is going to be, I never

would have borrowed your car in the first place. Well, that's the point,

Things do happen. That's why you don't put yourself in this position to begin

with. And you don't take things that are not yours. Look, you're right. You're

totally right.

Look, from now on, I promise to show...

Your stuff, the same respect you show mine.

Thank you.

Oh, Kim, would you mind doing me a huge favor and stopping by the photo place?

Which photo place?

The one you always go to up here on the right. I just want to drop this film

off. I'll take a second.

Okay.

Are you sure you want to stop at that one? I hear it's very expensive.

That's okay. I have a coupon.

Of course you do.

Of course you do.

Excuse me.

Oh,

it's you.

Neil.

Hi.

Yeah, hi. Look, we need to get some special film developed.

No problem. Good, because we don't want a lot of people seeing them.

Personal. You mean more than the last batch?

What are you talking about?

You know, the, uh... The... The naked pictures of you guys.

What naked pictures?

The ones that little cute chick and her husband brought in.

Hey, are there going to be pictures of that little chick on this roll?

Okay, what little chick? The curly -haired woman. She was... Well, there

officer, spin that big wheel.

And for the long arm of the law on that one, we're looking for that dollar.

You win $1 ,000 and get a bonus spin.

You got 35 cents.

35 cents.

Wait a minute.

What's happening here?

What? Who's back there?

Jimmy? Did you get another traffic ticket?

Yes, Bob.

Every day.

Millions of people watch The Price is Right.

They trust us.

When you try cheating, as you are right now, you are compromising the integrity

of the show, and we can't have that.

I will not stand for that, Jimmy.

Oh, come here, you big lug.

I'm sorry.

Yes, Jimmy. How can anyone stay mad at a guy like this?

Hang out in the showcase, and later, after the show, we'll play some Plinko.

Okay.

What's the showcase today?

Outdoor fun.

I think there's a trampoline.

Woo -hoo!