Original subtitles

GENERAL BULLY LEI

Welcome, everybody!

Please pay attention.

The National Army overthrew Yuan Shikai

and his days of being an emperor ended after 100 days.

His former minions continue to ravage the country.

But our hard days will soon be over.

General Bully Lei loves his soldiers.

If you're willing to join his army,

I, Liu Kunshan,

the Chief of Staff,

promise you

food, money and fortune.

- Really? - Really?

What's that?

Buns.

- Silver. - Really?

They're going crazy.

Liu Kunshan, you're tricking these farmers with magic.

Captain Tsai, how dare you slander your superior?

I'm just speaking the truth.

Covert military recruitment is illegal.

Put a curse on me if you dare.

Execution.

Do you know what this is?

This is the world's most notorious weapon.

Invented during the Ching dynasty,

it can behead enemies from miles away.

It's the Flying Guillotine.

Flying Guillotine?

Captain Tsai,

I'll kill you with this legendary device.

Lei's army values discipline.

Will you join us?

- I will. - Me too.

Good, Butler Liu, you've recruited 5,000 soldiers in three months.

You're a genius.

General, I just used a few tricks.

It's your great name that convinced the farmers.

We must recruit by all means necessary.

However, don't let me be a superstition monger.

- Yes, sir. - Good.

We have 5,000 more soldiers to feed. Just food alone will cost a lot.

Where do I find money to buy guns?

General, make up your mind now.

All the warlords are fighting.

If we don't gather enough forces,

we'll be overrun soon.

I never cared about money.

But now, I can't do anything without it.

Let's think of other sources of funding.

How about asking those merchants for more?

I've celebrated my lunar and solar birthdays,

and my wedding anniversaries with my wives.

What can I use this time?

Sir, there's a general

who taxes the farmers on their livestock.

Should we try it?

Should I pay tax for having a rat like you?

I'm just teasing you.

If we tax the poor, we are nothing but rats.

Sir, you're right.

General, the ceremony is about to begin.

Master...

Master...

Today's party is a grand, solemn event.

Behave yourself while you're out there.

What a group of noisy women! Stand back, all of you.

Move.

Honey.

You look really dashing,

heroic in this uniform.

It's very impressive.

Good. Stand behind me, too.

I refuse. I, your third wife, want to show off that I'm your favorite.

One, two, three, four, five, six...

Where's Mrs. Seventh?

Forget about her. She's being rude as usual.

KANWA FILMS GRAND OPENING

Mrs. Third is so pretty.

Daisy and Peach, how are you?

Aren't Apricot and Melon Seed here?

Ladies and gentlemen, I'm pleased to announce

that the Taga Culture Group and General Lei

have joined forces to found Kanwa Films, which is opening its doors today.

It's a collaboration.

We'll send a team of advisors

to help General Lei with his venture.

What the heck?

Kunshan,

why did he wink at me?

He wants you to read between the lines.

He's not talking about movies, but about military support.

Why play on words?

- It's called "diplomacy". - Well.

What is this thing?

- What is this? - A projector.

I prepared a short film today,

so everyone can experience the magic of film.

DOUBLE AGENT

STARRING: LIU KUNSHAN

DIRECTOR: TAROU MITEARAI

- Ah! - God!

URGENT, LEI'S ARMY IS EXPANDING

He used to be my assistant.

But I discovered that he actually is a spy

trying to expose our recruiting.

What did you do?

I used western hypnotism to control him.

Shut up!

- Really? - If you believe it, then it's real.

Aren't they Orange and Peach?

They're Taga Group's new action stars.

Wonderful.

Film is an illusion. Don't be fooled. Don't take it seriously!

I know, those money are fake too.

No, we used real money.

I increased the budget for better effects.

Film making is expensive.

TO BE CONTINUED...

Bravo!

Movie reflects life and vice versa. Fascinating. Bravo!

One more announcement.

Our company will be producing a romance film.

Please recommend a female lead to us.

- Let me do it. - Pick me.

- Give it to me. - What?

- The leading role. - Why you?

Because I'm your woman.

Good answer, it's yours.

- General. - Yes?

You haven't recovered yet. If you're crippled,

you may never lead troops again.

- Are you cursing me? - I dare not.

Sir, please take it with you.

Enough!

My seventh wife, it's me, your man.

I've not seen you in weeks. I miss you.

"The Phoenix's Fly" I used last time didn't work, I even sprained my back.

I'll attack with my "Crossed Fist" this time.

Prepare

for your doomsday tonight. Here I come.

You want to kill your husband?

We're not married.

Ceremony is not important.

My love for you is what counts.

You're disgusting.

Are you upset for being the last one?

I'll get rid of the rest and make you my number one.

Don't try to flatter me!

Then I'll just call you by name.

Liu Yin, I'm feeling horny.

My body is telling me,

time to have a baby.

Won't you help me, please?

Hey, you...

It smells good.

Yin, I've come to ask you.

What is this thing... free love?

You took all your women by force. So forget it.

Don't believe the rumors.

My first wife was an arranged marriage.

Wives two to six offered themselves to me.

- You had to take them all? - It'd have been rude to say no.

When will you let me go?

I must find my father.

Forget him.

Once you find him, you'll never come back.

- How will I ever find you again? - Rotten warlord.

Yin, just stay here.

If you're bored, I can take you to some magic shows.

Or you can try to fall in love with me.

Don't come to me until you find my father.

Future father-in-law, once we find you, I can marry her.

Where on earth are you?

Liu Wanyao.

You made your name by performing the Seven Wonders for Her Majesty.

But defied an edict to stop the riots with your magic.

You think you could escape us by just changing your name?

Stop wasting my time. Where's the scroll?

- It's gone. - You just used it for the last trick.

I won't give it up.

You know what tortures await you?

Severed tendons, broken kneecaps, amputated fingers,

- castration. - You fool.

Your parlor tricks won't work on me.

Let's see

when I drill your teeth.

Everything is an illusion, a dream.

When I wake up, everything will be fine.

Self-hypnosis? I'll play along.

Father, I'm your daughter Yin.

They're hurting me, burning me, cutting me.

It hurts.

Save me.

I'm sorry, my dear.

But I can't help you.

Where's the scroll?

I'll kill you. Don't force me!

You won't do it until you get the Seven Wonders.

The rhythm of my clappers is slow As people rush by

Warlords fight in wars more and more Coins don't have value anymore

It costs me eight catties

To buy two noodle patties

Grandpa, don't bother with these affairs Just sing and play our arts in a fair

This place has so much to give

Come and see Storytelling, singing, kung fu fighting

Donkey, and picture show All kinds of entertainment

Illusions are sights to behold Enchanting both young and old

Behind each performer, a trick with flair

Fish bowls, braziers appear Out of thin air

Each performer has talent to spare To name the best would be unfair

Stop worrying, bro.

There're many talents around.

If only we could find one, our business would definitely improve.

That's easier said than done.

Lucky Wind Tavern books all the best acts.

We won't survive another week at this rate.

Attention everyone, ladies and gentlemen,

come see the show.

I dare you all to try and replicate our Magic Walnut trick,

worth 50 silver dollars.

- Fifty silver dollars. - That's a lot.

Now, please welcome Master Chen for a demonstration of this magic.

Thank you.

Bravo!

Everyone, watch closely.

I figured it out. I can win this challenge.

Don't embarrass yourself, stay here.

- Who wants to try? - Give it a try.

Don't be afraid, come on.

May I?

Of course. Welcome. Come and show us.

Greetings. Please.

Look, there's water in the bowl.

A naughty pigeon.

Pigeon droppings.

He solved your trick. Pay him now.

Pay up.

Be reasonable.

- He hasn't got the walnut yet, right? - That's right.

Bring back the walnut and shut him up.

Right?

Gentlemen, the walnuts are on Master Chen.

Impressive.

Pay him! Pay him! Pay him!

Okay. Stop.

Here you go.

- Sorry, a reward is unnecessary. - In that case...

Who are you? Where did you learn it?

I'm Cheung Yin. Self-taught for fun.

Bravo!

LUCKY WIND TAVERN

Driver.

Bro, go get him.

Right, he can save our business.

Boss, why don't we hire him?

- Wait, Mr. Cheung. I've a favor to ask. - Mr. Cheung.

Master Cheung.

A ghost! A ghost! I saw a ghost!

Here you are.

Okay.

CLOSED FOR RENOVATION

Good shot with the droppings.

Now everyone thinks Cheung is a freak.

Where is he?

I nearly suffocated. Put more air holes in the seat.

I'll fix it right away.

Help yourself to fresh buns.

Li Yi, so that couple owns the Happy Inn?

Yes.

They seem honest enough.

Master scholar and strategist

Chuke Liang was a genius

He masterminded military campaigns

Good morning, ladies.

Butler Liu, good day.

Where is Mrs. Seventh?

She grew tired of your shows ages ago.

Chen Kuo, got something new?

I'm working on it. Once I'm ready, I'll present it to all of you.

Mrs. Seventh isn't interested in anything

other than magic shows.

If she isn't pleased, the general will blame us.

Master spoils that vixen.

Well said. Master is so unfair, isn't he?

Definitely.

That's enough. Let's not discuss this in public.

- What did you find out? - I sent investigators to Hunan,

only to discover that he is a charlatan.

The Seven Wonders is a fake, untrustworthy.

It's historically documented, so it must be real!

Yes...

Here's your fee.

Do your best.

Butler Liu is warning you,

accomplish this mission or suffer the consequences.

It's stolen from a tomb.

HAPPY INN

My dear workers, I really had no choice

but to close down our shop.

Goodbye.

- Let's go. - Take care, boss.

Please take care.

Bro, had we hired Cheung that day, we wouldn't be in such dire position.

Why am I so unlucky?

Mr. Li.

Mr. Cheung, what brings you here?

I wish to buy half of your shares so you can keep this place running.

What do you think?

My brother is always speechless in these types of situation.

He's overwhelmed by your proposition.

But he's already sold this place out to Chen Kuo

and took his down payment.

Give it back to him.

Will this be enough?

Yes! More than enough. I'll ask the staff to return.

No need, I have my own team.

Go.

I'm no longer selling the inn to you, so here is your deposit back.

But didn't you say you're quitting?

The great magician Cheung Yin, just back from overseas,

will perform at Happy Inn. Come see the greatest show on Earth!

The great magician?

They've arrived.

Do you have a question?

What exactly are you planning?

You must have an ulterior motive.

Stop this.

Don't tell me. I'm not listening. As long as our family business survives,

I don't care.

Indeed. You better do not get involved.

YIHONG HOOKSHOP

You say Warlord Cheung will decimate us,

but I'm more worried about General Li.

General Li's army is larger and closer to us.

If he decides to ambush us, we're dead.

If Li dares to attack, I'll deploy 3,000 elite soldiers.

Fight with him.

I'll send 8,000 men armed with Mauser pistols.

Mauser pistols are as outdated as spears.

I'll dispatch 10,000 troops with 200 Vickers machine guns.

He'll be dead.

Vickers guns are heavy and dumb.

I've just bought 500 lightweight Maxim machine guns.

When you fire, it goes... bang-bang-bang.

It's such a blast.

Fatso, you left a soldier on my territory. Take it back.

This land was mine. What's your problem?

Enough with your attitude!

Everyone knows you used to smuggle salt.

Salt-smuggler, pull back your troops. Or I'll show you my force.

Just retreat from Master's territory.

Why cross Master's over a few acres?

Have you no shame?

Damn! I thought we're on the same side. Weren't we?

Don't yell at me! I can turn my guns on you!

One last time, will you retreat?

What can you do to me?

Unbelievable.

He's refusing to retreat. I'll gouge out your other eyeball!

Stop it. What's wrong with you two?

Go ahead.

Kill each other, then I can take your territories.

Without any effort.

Do you mean it?

Bully Lei isn't a backstabber.

If I'd wanted your territories, I would've challenged you directly.

Because I'm not the sneaky sort.

If you have a problem, just speak out.

What's the point of fighting amongst us?

The public sees us as a bunch of amateurs.

If we don't stick together, how will we beat them?

- He's right. - Take a look, brothers.

- I have tanks. - Tanks?

I'll blast my enemies into dust.

You've got the latest weapons from Japan. What do we fight them with?

Fine, give me a list of what you need.

I'll give you

what I can.

Are you mad, Bully? Why so generous?

Look. He's a man worthy of being our leader.

Yes, leader.

Hurray!

Mitearai san,

are you really giving him our tanks?

Yes.

Bully Lei is a fool. Why support him?

A fool can be easily manipulated.

The Northeastern warlords are too smart.

We must hedge out bets.

But...

Don't worry. I've planted someone.

No wonder.

One, two, three!

ZHANG'S MAGIC HOUSE

Friends and neighbors,

to celebrate our re-opening, today's show is free. Line up for tickets.

Don't push. Line up for tickets.

Make way...

- Stop. - Boss, we're here.

This way, please. Your ticket?

Didn't you say the show was free?

But you still need a ticket.

Excuse me.

Give him two dollars. No, one will do.

- Can I go now? - Please.

This is the legendary carnival mirror.

I must buy one, too.

Ladies and gentlemen,

fresh from a famous season at Lucky Wind Tavern,

Master Cheung Yin.

Bravo!

What is he doing?

These are just some cheap tricks from western circuses.

No big deal.

Let's leave this place.

Master Chen, please stay.

Yes, Master Cheung?

Fire is a gift from heaven.

Fire can cook.

Mankind no longer eat raw meat.

It can also refine metal from ore

for our use.

Since we discovered fire,

the fate of mankind

has changed.

Civilization was born.

Could this be the legendary "cold fire"?

Fire can keep us warm,

but it's also fearful.

Do you know what happens when it falls into the hands

of a magician?

It's coming right over us!

Where is it?

I can use it to create spectacles,

or use it to show my fury.

- Techun. - Yes?

Lower the blade.

- Put that away. - Lei's aide has brought his soldiers.

A famous person is coming to see our show.

Mr. Cheung.

- How did I perform so far? - Very good.

- Then you'll let me be your assistant? - Of course.

Yes.

- Let's take a walk. - Sure.

Tickets are sold out these few days. We'll be busy.

Rest up for the show tomorrow.

Okay.

The general is coming to the show.

- Block all roads tomorrow morning. - Yes.

Rehearsal.

Excuse me...

- What is that? - Bully Lei.

Can a dummy react? Get me a real man.

- Yes, who? - You.

Fine.

Come on.

The smoke can only last a minute.

Then the guards will realize Lei's disappearance.

Go.

Will you be this gentle to Lei?

You... How could you?

- Move on. - Hurry up.

One, two, three.

Go.

One, two, three.

- How long did we take? - Over two minutes.

It's not far off the mark.

We're kidnapping. We need to be precise. A single mistake will be fatal.

Let's practice again.

Bro, why are you sneaking about?

Run, hurry...

Stop!

Don't move. Stay.

Everyone, are you practicing your new act?

- Time for us to come clean. - Don't say it. Cover your ears now.

Don't worry, they won't intervene.

Right. He hasn't said it yet. We haven't heard it yet.

Let's pretend nothing has happened, okay?

But you saw everything.

- Grab them. - Stop.

Calm down.

What do you want?

You're endangering all of us.

You only care about yourself. You're just like those scums in the army.

We think of the greater good.

What's greater good? It serves them too.

If you're going to hurt them, I'll quit.

If something goes wrong,

I'll hold you responsible.

Actually, I've always wanted to join whatever...

to overthrow whatever.

Don't worry. My brother will never betray you.

You...

Are you okay, ma'am?

We came for a show or an execution?

Shoot you first.

Why you all look so happy?

We're only here to make up the number.

She has the master's sole attention.

What else can we do but to amuse ourselves?

Right. What else can you do?

I'm going to fight.

A female street-juggler is no match for me.

Hey, what are you doing?

It's the orchestra.

Ouch!

What is it?

Are you alright, ma'am?

Bully, help me.

Your feet are too big for high heels. Get up now.

High heels.

- Excuse me. - What's wrong with you?

Let's go.

Sir, the President has summoned a war council.

I'm not going.

But he is a powerful man. We can't upset him.

Shut up.

- Sit. - How can you ignore state affairs?

If you skip the meeting, I'm leaving.

But I miss your smile.

- I'm leaving. - Okay, fine.

One smile for me.

Adorable.

- Go now. - Okay.

I've never seen such a thing.

Stop whining. Get up now.

Change the show.

They were a happy couple.

What went wrong?

The scholar was the girl's lover.

The old man is her father.

The man with the gun is a bully.

While the scholar went aboard, the bully kidnapped her.

The father went missing, too.

The girl lives on in sorrow.

I feel so sorry for them.

Wonderful.

- Come here. - She... She's in tears!

Where? Let me see. Wow, real tears.

She never forgets her lover, so she cries.

Can I borrow your handkerchief, ma'am?

You don't seem to be moved.

Don't you want them to reunite?

Can you make it happen?

Magic aims to create miracles.

I believed in miracles.

But after waiting for so long, I'm not so sure.

Just have faith.

Your dreams

will come true.

She's smiling.

It's a happy ending.

BACK HALLWAY

Return to the mansion.

The general just celebrated his birthday. What's the occasion today?

Today is his dog's birthday.

You mean Butler Liu?

It's just another excuse to swindle our money.

- General, congratulations. - Congratulations.

Please accept our token of appreciation.

General, what is this thing?

- A bulldog. - It's a cross between a bull and a dog.

- Such a rarity! - Yeah.

Bully, let's dance.

Come on.

I only know barn dance.

I want to try too.

Who are you?

Master Cheung.

You don't want to see me?

I've waited three years.

- All I get is a note? - I return once I heard what happened.

It's been nine months.

These walls can't hold you.

Why don't you run from here?

He's looking after me.

You care about him?

If you prefer him, just tell me.

Don't you trust me?

He's not your type of man.

That's for me to decide. You have no right to judge me.

He's ruthless, evil... But he's kind to me.

Is Lei truly wicked?

The other men went abroad,

vanished without a trace,

even forgot his wedding.

Can he be considered good?

And then, after three years,

we meet again. Yet you said nothing nice to me.

Are you sure you still love me?

I came back to fulfill my promise.

I don't think you're on my guest list.

Who are you?

Cheung Yin?

Bully, the magician, Cheung Yin.

Master Cheung is here. Come greet him!

I want to see your show again tomorrow.

Mr. Cheung, what brings you here?

I invited him.

- You did? - You took me to his show last time.

I was quite impressed, So I asked him to come for our dog's birthday.

You could have told me.

You've not given me a chance to speak.

Mr. Cheung, our guests are waiting.

That's great.

Wow, so beautiful.

What about me?

I want one, too.

Gorgeous.

I'm the first wife. I want something better.

What about me?

Master Cheung, it's my turn. Do one for me.

A magician is nothing without props.

General, can I borrow your gun?

- No. - What are you afraid of?

Take it.

- One more bullet left. - Very observant.

The last bullet is my gift to you.

Hold your fire! Stay!

General Lei and his seventh wife are truly a perfect couple.

Bully, this is what foreigners call "romantic".

Master Cheung, shoot at us too.

You're really special. I must go see your show one day.

Look forward to it.

What's this

Run, hurry up.

Stop the tank.

What is it? What is it?

Don't touch it. It's hot.

Careful. Be good.

Come with the general. Let's buy some candy!

- Let's go. - Go.

- Go, go, go. - Which end is the front?

General, that end.

This end is better. Next time we drive in reverse.

- Let me buy candy for you. - Yes, sir.

- Hands of! - Enjoy.

- Get the money first. - Go. Enjoy.

- Come. - Hands off, kid.

- Aide. - Sir.

- Tell me what an aide is responsible for? - He needs to pay, sir.

- You're getting smarter. - Yes, sir.

"Yes, sir"? I'm complementing you. Say "thank you, sir."

- Yes, sir. - Idiot.

Do you want to watch a magic show?

Yes!

Bully Lei is here.

Choose a seat and sit down.

Sit down.

There he comes. Get ready to capture him.

No. Too many children.

You want me to give up this opportunity?

He still has my woman.

I've no interest in your love affairs. I'm a man with a cause.

You never did anything for yourself or your family?

I'm warning you, do nothing until I say so.

Hey. Hurry up.

Buy us some time. Standby.

We can't wait.

Please sit, general.

Fat boy, get lost.

Please take a seat.

Go play over there.

Take a seat. The show is about to start.

General, distinguished guests,

today's show will delight both young and old.

Hear that? You're all distinguished guests.

Quiet. It's show time.

Wow!

Wow!

Wow!

Wow!

I'm scared.

My dear, don't cry. It's fake.

Oops, not this. Cover your eyes!

Wow.

Okay to look now.

What?

Fantastic!

Do you like it?

Ready.

His guards are at the back. We can't act without the smoke.

- Ignore him. Wait for my signal. - Be ready.

Stop it!

Look, fire.

I'm scared.

- Ready? - So annoying.

It's alright.

- Don't cry. - Hit it.

It's alright.

Abracadabra!

Trap door.

- What? - My friend has disappeared.

Disappeared?

Did you enjoy my magic?

- Let's perform together, okay? - Okay.

Get out.

Now.

Let's go.

Go.

Watch it.

A trapdoor and tunnel under the seat.

That's how you did the trick.

The general is very sharp.

If I were sitting there, you could've kidnapped me, right?

That's right.

Why didn't I think of that?

A general is worth a fortune.

I know who you are.

A trickster.

That day, with just a few tricks,

you kept every lady amused.

Aren't you a trickster?

No, I'm a dream maker.

Dream maker?

A better word for fraudster.

It takes practice to deceive.

Sir...

Stay back.

Tell me what you want, General.

Teach me a few magic tricks to make my seventh wife smile.

I see.

- But it's quite difficult. - Why?

Mrs. Seventh seems to be troubled.

You can read minds, too?

A great magician must be observant.

I see.

I just want to make her smile.

It shouldn't be too difficult, right?

Sometimes you have to lie to a woman to make her smile.

You know what I mean?

- "Friendly lie"? - Alright.

Well,

a simple trick first.

- See if you can please her. - Okay.

Pay attention.

I've shown you the technique.

But I can't guarantee love. It all depends on you.

I'll make it work.

- General. - Where's she?

There.

Yin, I come in peace. Please enjoy my show.

A cigarette.

Turn around.

The other way.

I saw this trick when I was a baby.

I'm not done yet.

- Who taught you this? - Who else?

Master Cheung. He's quite charming,

What did you talk about?

Nothing much.

I said he pleased the ladies

with a few tricks. So he must be a trickster.

He denied it. I said, "You're still a fraudster."

He said, "It takes practice to deceive." And asked if I understood.

In fact, I didn't.

He asked me what I wanted.

I said I wanted to learn a trick to make you smile.

He said you looked troubled.

I said, "You can read minds, too?"

He said, "A magician is observant."

Then he taught me a trick to help me win your heart.

Give me the ring.

Yin,

what must I do to make you happy?

Hey you! A thief!

Who are you? Stop!

Come down.

Come down.

Step aside!

If you'd wanted to return the ring,

you could do it yourself.

I just wanted you to know I always carry it with me.

You should know that I came back for you.

It's dangerous approaching Bully Lei.

You still care for me.

- What do you want? - Come with me.

- I can't leave until I find my father. - Master Liu is imprisoned.

Along with their comrades.

We want to overthrow the warlords.

Since Lei often takes you to magic shows,

we asked Mr. Cheung to collaborate with us.

You want Lei as a hostage.

- Then to swap prisoners? - Yes.

- What if he refuses? - Kill him.

That'll put my father in danger.

Ms. Liu, your father's life

can stop Lei from collaborating with foreign powers.

- I won't help you. - Mr. Cheung,

which side do you think she's on?

Let us talk in private.

Tell me if I'm wrong to return.

If out of jealousy, then you're wrong.

- Stop her. Tie her up! - Hold it!

Li Yi, give me some time.

FUSO LOVERS

Ready, action.

Satou-san said...

he traveled from Japan

and fell in love with me

at first sight. Am I truly...

that beautiful?

Cut. Change scene.

Bully,

you've come to visit me.

How did I do?

You're normally a good speaker,

but why were you so out of breath when saying your lines?

This is how leading ladies all act. I must change costumes now.

Please sign.

Kunshan, what does it say?

"Acknowledgement of Arms Delivery."

- The weapons were not gifts to me? - This is international protocol.

Otherwise Mitea-san can't account for them.

Just like a receipt for accounting purposes.

For accounting purposes.

Then what's this?

Declaration of Loyalty to Ching Dynasty.

Didn't we cut off our pigtails long ago?

But people miss the good old days.

Our country is powerful.

- Because we have an emperor. - Mitea-san,

do I look like an emperor?

If I were emperor,

I'd get all the red light district girls as my own harem.

Indulging in my own pleasure palace. How nice!

May I read your fortune, general?

Dragon with regrets.

It means you have the power to rise.

However...

- there's danger ahead. - What is it?

Your dragon cannot soar too high.

Otherwise, it may fall to death.

- Therefore, accept your destiny. - Yes,

the general should support the emperor.

Well...

Let's have a shot.

Action.

Excuse me.

A bath?

Please, don't do that.

Damn it.

What are you doing?

How dare you touch my woman!

I won't allow my woman show nudity. Change the script.

He's not going to cooperate with us!

What did he say?

The director appears to be saying the story demands that Mrs. Lei bares all.

I'm paying for this movie. Do what I said.

Let's just kill this jerk.

What did he say?

He's saying that...

even if you're the investor, you can't change the script.

Absolutely ridiculous. If you don't change it, I'll kill you.

- Please calm down, sir. - Let's talk it over.

It's brand new. How could it misfire?

Whose side are you on?

Yours of course, general.

Remember, a clever dog is still a dog.

Yes, sir.

Mitea-san, I'm sorry that I killed him.

- Sorry... - Don't worry.

There are many directors. We'll hire a new one tomorrow.

Here you are.

- It's hot. Careful. Eat. - Sir, Mr. Cheung is here.

- Please. - Sit.

Open it.

Your trick didn't work.

I don't think there's true love.

Have you ever seen the wind? You've never seen it, yet it exists.

Clever.

Do you want me to be frank with you or to flatter you?

Please speak freely.

If I say something wrong, will you shoot me?

Are you testing me? A great mind is broad enough for ships.

Mine is broad enough for tanks.

You think you can make me mad?

Alright, let me ask you. Does Mrs. Seventh love you freely?

Eh...

Equivocation.

- So the rumors are true. - What rumors?

Rumors say that she has a fiancé.

But you've locked her up, did you?

- Maybe. - That's the reason.

She hates you. How could she be nice to you?

That's why I never forced her no matter how...

- Never? - Not even a kiss.

Delicious.

You see what I mean?

The general is a true gentleman.

Of course. I'm much better than her so-called fiancé.

That man has pimples. He's old and ugly.

And he is into whoring and gambling. What a piece of crap!

- He's surely not like that. - Yes, he is.

I admit I'm at fault. But he's even worse.

Yin loved him. Yet he ran off to Europe,

vanished without trace. He's such a jerk.

I'm not talking about you.

Why do you look insulted?

I didn't sleep well last night.

- I heard that her fiancé isn't that bad. - My foot!

He makes my blood boil.

You were talking about free love just now.

How exactly does one love freely?

First, give her freedom.

Let her go? No, I can't.

Teach me how to make her love me without setting her free.

Then trick her to fall in love with you.

It takes practice to deceive someone.

The general has a good memory. There's another trick.

Pay attention.

What's this?

- Look for love. - How profound.

Women love the attention of a man. Gaze at Liu Yin like that every day,

with desire and hunger for her. She'll be happy.

That makes sense. But how did you know her name?

- You just said it. - I did?

- Really? - Yes.

Right?

See? Children don't lie.

I've an idea. Invite me to perform for her privately.

Let me befriend her and figure out what she really wants.

Good idea. Good. Come tonight.

Should I do it... like this?

Relax and match the rotation.

Rotation? That mean my head should...

Rhythm is the key.

Yin, Cheung just taught me a new trick. Let me show you.

- Okay. - Sit.

Let me help you.

Enough, Cheung Yin.

- Be careful, general. - I'm fine.

Yin, you do care for me. Good.

Come join me and Cheung for drinks tonight.

Prepare food and wine.

Who drinks?

- Eeny meeny... - Miny moe.

- Catch the tiger... - By the toe.

- If it hollers... - Let it go!

You're good!

Okay, I drink.

The general may have lots of friends,

but few are invited to drink with him.

So Cheung has become your close friend.

I wish I'd met him earlier.

What do you two talk about?

Life, philosophy and relationships.

He knows everything about magic, and love.

Was it a rewarding discussion?

Yes. We exchanged views on free love. But I wasn't convinced.

- Can you elaborate? - Of course.

Thanks to the arranged marriages,

many couples have grown old together.

It's wrong.

The man usually gets to choose instead of the woman.

- It's so unfair. - No.

Many women wait for their husband's death in order to resume freedom.

- Really? - Really.

That's why arranged marriage

doesn't entail happiness, right?

But free love also has its downside.

Too much freedom, you may love the wrong person.

Right, just like you.

You chose your fiancé.

Was it the right choice? No, it ended badly.

But one thing is for certain. If one is unwilling, it won't end well.

In fact, even if both sides are willing, it may not end well.

You both appear to have strong opinions. Let me ask some questions.

Mr. Cheung, explain different love types.

Love can spring from sympathy,

gratitude, companionship.

But nothing can compare to the eternal power of a first love.

What is love then?

Love is tricky. It can't be calculated like arithmetic,

nor quantified like physics.

It's mystical.

There is love borne out of fantasy, but unrealistic.

Love borne out of desire...

but unattainable.

- Like a jinx. - That's why you must remain sober.

But I can't help it.

Last question.

If your mom and I fall in the sea, who do you save?

Why his mother?

Not with my mother?

Fine, your mother and I, who would you save?

My mother can swim. Don't need me. Can your mother swim?

She's a great swimmer.

We're not discussing who can swim, but who you would save.

- Save you. - Save you.

Why not your mother?

Don't go.

- Stay a little longer. - Mrs. Seventh.

A lamp must be lit to shed light.

Since we're on the subject,

tell us what's on your mind.

Yes, let's settle this.

Do you still love your fiancé?

Or you love the general?

How hard is it to say you love me?

I know why she is hesitating.

You're too emotional.

If you can't have love, you steal it.

If you can't suppress the rebels, you put them in jail.

- Don't talk nonsense to Yin. - You didn't kill them?

- No. I just locked them up. - Who would believe you?

Would you?

No wonder they call you the rotten warlord.

Two things I hate the most in life:

Being called illiterate

and rotten warlord. Don't force me.

See, you can't control your temper.

You can't convince us without proof.

I'm warning you. Stop it now.

I knew you can't accept the truth.

Kill me, shoot me in front of them.

- Take him away! - Yes, sir.

Mrs. Seventh, don't go.

Sorry, some servants aren't on my side.

Understood.

There're undercovers in this prison. Mind your words.

Stand attention.

Warden, did you give them better meals?

Yes, right after you gave the order.

Wu and Fan,

remember when you introduced me to Mr. D and Mr. S?

I thought they were foreigners.

"D" is science, "S" is democracy.

- Am I right? - It's the other way round.

Do you really take me for a fool?

To accomplish a goal, one must gather strength.

Today I ask the Japanese for tanks.

Tomorrow, for airplanes. Once I'm strong enough,

I'll kick them out. By then, everything will be easy.

If they stage a demonstration, I'm afraid they'll be killed.

Don't believe the rumors.

Sometimes, you can't even trust your own eyes.

Just like my magic.

I'll show you around.

- Is the troops camp ahead? - Yes, sir.

It's restricted. Wait for me here.

- Follow me. - But, sir...

Let's go.

Let's go.

Master, are you okay?

You brat, you've come at last.

Did you find the cold fire?

What happened?

I was touring with Yin and the troupe.

Liu Kunshan ambushed us.

He wanted the Seven Wonders scroll. I refused, and he had me beaten.

What is this Seven Wonders?

It's like the cold fire,

a combination of seven elements used to control the mind.

Humans are vulnerable.

When they're lost, they seek help from spirits.

Corrupt men

use their skills to deceive people.

I've seen many becoming swindlers.

Liu was my pupil when he was young, even younger than you.

He was smart, but obsessed with illusions.

Soon he started to swindle people.

I threw him out.

A swindler who ended up fooling himself.

Pathetic.

The truth depends on your perspective.

If people watch us behind the stage, a good act can look fake.

Lei wasn't responsible for this.

Yin asked him to help me. That's why I'm still alive.

Once Yin is safe, I'll get you out of here.

No rush. Don't alarm our foe now.

Liu is desperate for the Seven Wonders.

He must be planning something.

Use his weakness.

Remember, magic is based on the art of deception.

The secret is in the box.

There're two kinds of audience.

Some want the truth, others revel in the illusion.

- Which one are you? - Illusion is the pleasure. Why ruin it?

Yes, truth can often be absurd,

even cruel and ugly. It's better to leave room for imagination.

It's the lies that hurt.

Looks like you can tell who I am.

All magicians are good at keeping secrets.

Can you help me find the truth?

- Commander Liu. - Pleased to see you.

Greetings.

I long to wear Manchurian robes

in public.

Your Highness, that day will come soon.

Your Highness,

this is Taga Group's President Mr. Mitearai.

We're honored to work with Your Highness.

- Wonderful. - Thank you.

Gentlemen, any request to the mighty spirits?

Our Ching restoration.

Will the outcome be victorious?

Victory will be determined by a single battle.

The sign is favorable.

When should we battle?

Catch the timing. Do not delay.

Great.

Your Majesty, how I miss you!

We've a new show. Come see the show.

Boss, Butler Liu, I've found it.

ZHANG'S MAGIC HOUSE

It was right under our noses.

FEATURING THE GOLDEN TOUCH FROM THE SEVEN WONDERS

THE SCROLL OF THE SEVEN WONDERS

Come back.

Who are you? Dare to steal my scroll.

- Give it to me! - Go.

Catch.

Run?

Thief, I've put a curse on you.

You'll see by midnight.

- What was in the bowl? - Touch it and you'll never get married.

- I've already touched it. - Wash your hands with vinegar, not water.

"The Golden Touch, Five Demon Traps, Invisible Walker, Magic Labyrinth,

Moving Mountains and Sea, Almighty Fire, and Magic Bean Army."

I've found it. I finally found it.

It's real magic.

He's a real sorcerer.

Welcome our important guest.

Mr. Cheung, I'm glad that you've come.

Mrs. Hua, he is Peking's greatest magician.

Treat him well.

Sir...

If you wish to talk, let's meet in private.

- Well, then. Leave us, girls. - Let's go.

Coming up.

You are quite a ladies' man.

Cut it out. Give me the scroll.

Okay, okay. I'll return it once I'm done.

- It's useless without my guidance. - What's your relationship with Liu Wanyao?

- He's my master. - Just as I thought.

I've not finished yet.

If you smile again,

I'll make your face

larger than this.

- He's a rogue pupil of my master. - A traitor, too?

Tell me, what do you want?

I want to learn the Seven Wonders.

I only teach my pupils.

- You're not one. - Make me your pupil.

- Cut this out, just pay me. - I'll pay any price. Please sit.

Good, one more condition: We must check our karmic connection.

How?

What's your zodiac?

- Dog. - No.

You're a turtle.

You never leave your shell.

Take it out.

Here.

Joining forces can break metal. Looks like you've passed the test.

Master.

Together we can shake the world.

You're conspiring with the Japanese behind Lei.

- How do you know? - Your shell is useless.

I can use mine to predict the day for action.

- I can help under one condition. - Tell me, master.

I want to be the Imperial Sage.

You're one of us?

My real name is Gesaerdu Duoduoshan.

- I suppose we're on the same side. - Yes.

I'll definitely recommend my master.

Also, you must've figured out my other motive in approaching Lei.

He killed my father, and I want vengeance.

I want to kill that bastard as well.

- When will you teach me? - Don't rush.

You need to fast for 49 days.

Wait for a moonless night with northwesterly winds.

Your power will be heightened.

I'll do as you say, Master.

You're too important to me. I promise to protect you day and night

to keep you safe from Lei.

Don't you trust me?

I just want you to be safe, Master.

Great, let's have a toast.

- Officer. - Bring the wine.

Leave now or it'll be too late.

Leave me alone.

- Let me go. - Why won't you listen to me?

- Mr. Cheung, let me go. - Mr. Cheung.

- What is it? - Li Yi went to rescue his comrades.

You should leave now.

Mr. Cheung, come with us.

We must leave. Let's go.

Remember to come again.

- I will. - Sure, see you.

- How about you? - The show must go on.

- Right? - Right.

Remember, expect the worse situation.

Don't panic when mistake happens.

Just overcome it.

From now on, I'm relying on you.

Ma'am, the general is here.

- Both of you, get out. - Yes, sir.

Yin, did you know? Cheung planned to kidnap me.

What does he really want?

Even Butler Liu is behaving strangely. He became Cheung's pupil all of a sudden.

He should respect his master then. Why is he spying on Cheung?

What the hell is going on?

I don't understand it. It's driving me crazy!

Cheung Yin is my fiancé. He did everything for me.

Can you tell Butler Liu not to hurt him?

If you save him, then I'm yours.

You want a baby, don't you?

Have a baby...

But his mother doesn't love me.

What's the point?

I figured it out

from the way you gazed at him at the party.

If only you would look at me the same way,

I'd be satisfied for life.

I've acted a fool my whole life.

I was so convincing that I fooled everyone.

Someone who plays a fool to please you

can't be a bad person, right?

Bully...

I'm sorry if I'd misjudged you.

But you can't blame me

because I didn't cause any of this.

- Fine. - Will you kill him?

Will you?

Cheung Yin! Come out!

- Hurry up! - Hey.

- What's the fuss? - You little pimp.

This one is for Yin!

She's the best woman I've ever met. You break her heart.

Don't be so self-righteous. You stole my woman.

Why didn't you say earlier?

What makes you think I'll kill you? I won't let you go?

You really mean it?

- What? - You...

Don't play dumb. You said if I'd come clean with you,

you would let us go.

Screw you. Stop playing around with words.

- Are you giving her back to me? - Never.

That's enough.

What did you find out?

Liu conspired with the Japanese to restore the Ching dynasty.

All those filmmakers are spies.

Once they succeed, they'll kill you.

He doesn't have the nerve.

Do you know he hides something under his hat?

Under his hat? I must find out what it is.

Help!

I'll kill you!

Don't run!

Hey.

General.

Aren't you supposed to be on set today?

Bastard!

I thought that you were just a homeless eunuch-turned-street-performer.

I pitied you and made you a soldier.

Now you're sleeping with my wife? I can forgive you for keeping a pigtail.

But how can you justify that thing in your pants?

If I don't kill you today, I'm not Bully Lei!

Don't shoot!

Please don't kill him.

We were childhood lovers.

I sang, and he performed magic.

We were planning to get married when the time was right.

But the war separated us.

When I found him, he was already in your army.

And I was already your wife. I didn't dare to tell you the truth.

Do us a favor. Kill us both.

Take your man and leave.

- If I ever see him again... - Kill him.

...I'll castrate him myself.

Get out!

- You let him go? - He's already gone.

You're really letting him off?

Cheung Yin, why are you so cold-blooded?

Didn't you hear they were childhood lovers,

separated by war?

Their story is more heartbreaking

and worthier of sympathy than yours.

You are suggesting...

that he won't repay your kindness with malice,

that he won't conspire against you,

that he'll stop restoring the Ching dynasty. Is that so?

- Remorse? - A little.

- Go after him now. - No problem.

I'll raid Mitearai tonight with the other generals.

- And then... - It'll be too late. Act now.

My friends enjoy night life. I bet they are still sleeping.

Let's go.

- To get a massage? - Good idea. The night's still young. Go.

I'll show you a new bathhouse in Peking.

Why don't you call your friends first? Tell them to prepare.

No hurry. Get a massage first.

Taga Samurais,

butler Liu has been exposed.

Time for us to take charge!

Bully has uncovered our plan.

The future of the empire is at stake. Take action now. We can't wait.

- Kill Bully Lei! - Long live the empire!

Amazing...

Mrs. Seventh.

Yin, let's go.

Don't move!

Freeze!

- Get me General Kao. - Have you found him yet?

No. Maybe they've all gone to the brothel.

Butler Liu has engineered a coup.

He's holding many families hostage.

They're here.

Kill all!

Take these.

What?

Orange, Peach, Apricot, Melon Seed?

Even Table, Chair and Jug are here!

Attack!

Mr. Cheung, protect the general. I'll hold them off.

Let's go.

- I said to call first, but you didn't! - It was your idea.

Stop it! Where are we going?

- This way. - That way.

Straight ahead.

Be careful.

Bully.

- Run. - Hurry up.

No time for our business now. Let's rescue the master.

We can't leave Lei here.

Yin, meet me at the tavern.

Cheung Yin.

- Bully. - Where's Cheung Yin?

He went to the tavern.

Lei Bully, you're dead.

Yin.

- What are you doing? - Yin, ignore him.

You are still acting out of jealousy.

Once you've let down a woman,

you can't win her back with any magic.

Trust me. Come over now.

Go with him.

Cheung Yin, I hate you.

- Bully. - Be careful!

Bully, get up.

I want to see their corpses. Douse the fire.

Go, go, go!

Watch out for the grenades!

Long live His Majesty.

Please be seated.

Ladies and gentlemen,

the century's greatest miracle is upon us.

A divine army will descend

and destroy our enemies,

restoring His Majesty to the throne.

Here comes our Imperial Sage.

My men are all over this place. If your magic fails to work,

I'll offer his head to the mighty spirits.

Now,

guardians of the spiritual worlds, rise under my command.

Warriors and horses from the grass and beans, come forth.

In the name of heaven and earth,

I summon thunderbolts and lightning.

Destroy thy enemy with fire and blaze. Abracadabra.

Now.

Bastard!

Why is he throwing things at us?

Idiots.

This is fake.

This magic is amazing.

Commander Liu, what's going on?

You'd said he was a real sorcerer.

Creating an army by magic? You must be joking.

This doesn't feel right, leave now. Let's go.

Wait.

If magic really exists in this world,

I know that everyone must hope for miracles.

Just have faith. Your dreams may come true.

It's a movie.

DIRECTED BY CHEUNG YIN

STARRING: BULLY LEI, LIU YIN

What's this?

It's just a movie. It is fake. Don't be fooled.

What's happening? What's going on?

- Hurry up. - Don't break it.

I want to see their corpses. Douse the fire.

Watch out for the grenades!

Go.

Liu, let me make your dreams come true.

That's my baby.

My beautiful baby.

Look at this little face...

My beautiful baby.

My dream has finally come true.

- It has come true. - Mine too.

Where's my dream?

- My dream? - My dream?

- Where's my dream? - The Seven Wonders creates illusions.

Dreams can only be realized through hard work.

I've worked hard all my life.

But you took the wrong path. Your dreams will end up nightmares.

Liu.

The day has come to eradicate all evil.

Kill them!

Master!

The show is almost over, just open fire.

Run.

Even without wine Life intoxicates us

Love, hate, fame, fortune Life is like a play

Magicians can make counterfeits As good as real

But they can never alter A woman's heart

I'm not being arrogant But I know my mother best

One angry look

My father turns white as a ghost

Grandpa, let's watch the last scene.

Okay, let's go.

Bro Bully, did you really abandon your troops, power and fortune?

Didn't you used to call me a rotten warlord?

What can you call me now?

I was only joking. Don't be so sensitive.

Where do you plan to go?

I'm invited to the World Magic Championship. But...

I want to go to France.

People can experience many facets of life on stage.

So I want to make films.

I hope there's a future in it.

I'll go to Prussia to do weapon research.

One day I'll build a flying bomb to kill enemies from the distance.

And you?

- I'm still undecided. - There's no time for jokes.

Yin, just pick me.

Dad, now I know why the Seven Wonders do nothing for me.

It's because I've no ambition.

I don't desire either of them.

Why regret the past and worry about the future?

Why neglect the best things in life

in order to feed our ambition?

They're just two insensitive, rotten scoundrels.

- She means you. - She means you.

You two don't need me.

You'd better find yourselves a nanny.

- Go find one. - Goodbye.

No need for farewells. Father, let's go.

What're you waiting for? Go after her.

You've six wives at home. Go back.

I got rid of them. Now, she's fair game.

Bullshit.

Yin, here comes your baby, Bully!

Shut up. You're so annoying.

I swear I'll take revenge.

- Let's split up and follow them. - Till we meet again.