Original subtitles

there, my friend.

So, uh, what's on the menu?

Apparently a seagull.

Does that come with a salad?

Hey, that little fella.

Want a grape?

I don't blame you. Here.

Have some fries.

Halt in the name of nature.

Feeding that bird human food is dangerous to its delicate digestive

He's grateful. He's even calling my name.

Cody. Cody.

Sounded more like dorky.

Dorky.

Boys, I would like to show you something you have never seen before.

You on a date?

Better. I'm talking about this bouquet of extremely rare centennial tulips.

only bloom once every hundred years.

Wow. You have achieved new levels of lame -osity.

Get away, Bean!

Get away!

Get away!

My bouquet!

They won't bloom again for another hundred years!

At least I still have you.

and watercress on spelt bread.

Your mouth says, ugh, but your large intestine says, thank you for taking

of me. And your small intestine says, me too.

Huh? Sorry, I couldn't hear you over that loud outfit.

It's cheerful, and it happens to complement my complexion.

You know what would complement your complexion even more?

A paper bag over your head.

London, listen to yourself.

couldn't even be nice to me for one week. Oh, you care to put your money

your overly toothy mouth is?

Sure. How about a million dollars?

I don't have a million dollars.

So you'll just be my maid until you work it off. Okay, so minimum wage, 80 hours

a week, no vacations, apron rental.

You'll figure it out when you start working for me.

So is it a bet, corn goblin?

You're on, diamond dunce. I'm about to become a millionaire.

Ever think about shaving them knuckles?

We haven't started yet. Okay, starting... Sparkly. London.

Sorry.

Starting now.

Hey, Cody, can I borrow a towel? I want to act like I was at the gym. It

impresses the ladies.

What, are you going to stuff them in your shirt and pretend you got pecs?

Gil, never mind.

Tension flow out of your body like squirrel juice out of a squirrel that

by a snow cloud driven by another squirrel.

Oh, what you doing?

I'm in the middle of a session.

I'm helping Mr. Mosby overcome one of his fears.

Is it a fear of being alone in a room with you? Because there's a group for

that.

No, this is a honey mask.

I'm using it to desensitize Mr. Mosby to his fear. No, no, no. Don't say it. Own

your fear. Tell London what happened.

Ever since I got stung by that... You know what.

Know what?

The letter between A and C.

I'm looking for Miss Totweiler. I hope she's wearing that hideous headband.

Maybe I can help you with your insulting people problem.

Oh, thanks.

Well, your breath smells, you're knock -kneed, and your hair looks like a

sleeping gopher.

All true.

But I meant I could help you therapeutically.

Maybe a little aversion therapy.

I don't know what that is, but...

Experience every time you insult someone. First, I need to know what you

Your breath, your knees, your gopher hair. Wait, haven't we gone over this?

I meant something that makes you physically uncomfortable.

How do you feel about being tickled?

I hate it. It makes me feel out of breath and I turn an ugly shade of red.

And bingo was his name -o.

This will give me a chance to try out my latest therapeutic tool.

Uh -oh.

This is my tickle machine.

You wear it, and whenever I see you having the urge to insult someone, I can

turn it on with this remote, like so.

See?

Is that really going to help me?

Oh, it helped me.

It completely cured me of my urge to smell rabbits.

I'm down to one rabbit a day now.

See? I have no desire to smell again.

No way.

Mmm, sunflower seed.

I'm trying to catch that stupid bird before he attacks again.

Dude, you're being ridiculous.

This bird is not out to get you.

Oh, yeah? When I came back from class, my biology homework was shredded.

Big deal. So, well, it does that to all my homework.

But the textbook was left open to this page.

That's just a coincidence.

Oh, yeah?

Look how he scratched my face out of this photograph.

Actually, I did that.

Will you take that off?

I need to reset it.

Dude, you're just being paranoid.

It's not paranoid if an evil, psychotic devil bird is trying to peck out your

eyes and bring them back to its nest in a charred tree on the banks of the River

Styx.

I want to say one last time before I go, there is no evil bird stalking you.

Now,

London,

anytime I see you being mean to someone, I simply press this button and tickle

the meanness right out of you.

had enough wax in your ear to start a candle factory?

voice down. He might hear us.

years of therapy in 20 minutes.

No need to thank me.

Thank you?

I'd rather turn her nostrils upside down so you'll drown when it rains.

We'll work on your anger issues later.

The point is, you are now ready to converse with Bailey without insulting

and win your bet.

Are you sure?

I'd stake my professional reputation on it.

Professional reputation?

Your diploma's handwritten on the back of a Zippy Burger menu.

also won enough skee -ball tickets to get this nifty ring.

Plus, it's a compass and a whistle.

London's been ignoring me, but the second she sees me, the insults will

and I'll be rich.

So what are you going to buy first with a million dollars?

A new tractor for my family.

Finally, we'll show those snooty bucklers with their fancy schmancy

stupid horn. Sweet, sweet.

Corkers Jr.

Now that you mention it.

I think it's adorable.

You do?

Conversation? You record all of your conversations?

I'll go pick out your maid's outfit.

Something terrible has happened.

You're telling me I'm being hunted by a winged demon.

Well, if I lose this bet, I'll be an indentured servant to a blinged demon.

What am I going to do?

Okay, first of all, let go of my clavicle.

Second, in moments of crisis, it's important to keep your head clear.

it down to me from my grandpappy Scarecrow Bailey.

Don't you see the resemblance?

No.

I can't believe we're helping Cody try and test this stupid bird.

Do you really think it's after him?

Ah, who cares?

All I know is that he's been too preoccupied to do my homework.

And I can't afford to flunk wherever grade I'm in.

Fight for debate.

Is the target still in the capture zone?

Yep. The birdie's still in his little nest.

Roger that.

I'm going up.

Cody, why are you walking up the side of the boat?

Why are you wearing a lacy shower cap?

Carry on.

I just see my idiot brother crawling up the...

much, I'm gonna need a lot more sprinkles.

Look, Marcus, I only have three days to raise a million dollars.

You bite it, you bought it.

island just erupted, and that stupid lava's everywhere.

I can't clean boiling magma.

What is that, a union thing?

London, isn't there anything else I can do to pay off this bet?

Hmm, let's see.

Oh, I know. How about you let me insult you again? I really miss that.

Okay. Okay, so a million dollars at a dollar an insult is... A hundred

Nice try. It's a million insults.

Now you're good at math.

Ready. Your forehead is so big, think you should show movies on it.

Wow, it almost looks as if it's painful for you to insult me.

It is, but it's worth it.

Now you're being nice?

Well, it's a little late for that, huh?

That's not going to work.

No matter how incredibly cute that is.

And it really is.

Aw.

You're just a little lonely.

What are you looking for someone to play with?

Hey.

They're a bunch of your birdie buddies.

Now you won't have to be so lonely.

You can finally be with others of your own kind, like I was at chemistry camp.

Good talk.

Now go.

Be free, my friend.

Thanks for caring, Bailey.

Here's your friend.

Ah, London.

Actually being nice to Bailey.

Oh, right, your bet.

Actually, the bet's over.

London was genuinely being nice.

Huh, I guess I was.

Mr. Blanket broke me!

Or he helped you.

You've got to hand it to Mr. Blanket. Might be a little bit nutty, but he does

know how to help you.